“Meri class mein sabke paas ipad hai. They keep doing FaceTime all the time,” Siddhi said on the breakfast table.

“You can do Facebook from my laptop, Siddhi.”

“Facebook nahin Di. FaceTime. It’s a video calling feature only on Apple products.”

“But we have a webcam. Aur school mein itna time bitane ke baad, tu phir unhi logon ke saath video chat karna chahti hai?” Nidhi tried to make a joke about her demand.

“Offo Di. You don’t understand. It’s… It’s not the webcam. FaceTime is… Well… iPad is cool. And everyone has it.”

“Okay. I will find out about it,” Nidhi said meekly because she did not want Siddhi to flare up again. This happened too often these days. Last time it was about some branded nail polish she wanted to buy. Before that about the different running and walking shoes from Nike that she needed. Each costed her above 7000 bucks. And now this iPad. Nidhi already knew the prices. She was only postponing the inevitable. She’d buy it for her eventually. And then try to compensate for it by taking buses instead of autos herself. Not that this kind of money could be saved by that. She hated digging into the savings. It was for Siddhi’s education. Nidhi had hoped that she’d run the house with her internship stipend and not spend any more savings on their daily needs after her MBBS was over. But Siddhi was growing, her needs were growing. The stipend was meagerly. Nidhi made some mental calculations. For iPad she will have to break another FD. Each FD was of one lac Rs. Around 40-45 thousands will be left after she bought the iPad. She would leave that in her savings account, instead of putting back in FD or any other investment. Some demand or the other will come up from Siddhi again. It was better to have some cash at hand. May be she should stop worrying about savings so much. After the internship was over, she’d be able to earn a decent salary. And it was only a year away. By the time Siddhi finished her 10th board exams, Nidhi should be settled well enough to support her further studies. But… But what if something went wrong… Saving were needed…. And yet an FD will have to be broken.

“Bye Di. Main ja rahi hoon. Aur aaj Natasha ke ghar party hai. So, don’t come to pick me up. I will be back later.” Oh yes! She had forgotten the 2000 Rs. spent on a gift for Natasha’s birthday. “She is my best friend Di. Uske liye mujhe kuchh to dhang ka khreedna padega. Kuchh uske standard ka,” Siddhi had argued.

But why was she grudging? It was her responsibility to make sure that Siddhi had everything she needed to be happy. She should not feel like an orphan. But the car… She wanted to be driven to her school in a car like other children. Not go in buses. But that was something Nidhi really couldn’t afford right now. After internship, with a better income she might be able to get a loan. But right now… May be she should not have disposed off that ill-fated car all those years ago… But a ten year old Maruti 800 would hardly have been Siddhi’s idea of a car that would match the tastes of her friends. Nidhi smiled despite her worries. Siddhi! How status-conscious she was! How naive and gullible. But she was only thirteen. She had the right to be gullible. She had the right to be pampered. That right won’t be snatched away from her. Never! She would not have to grow up sooner than needed.

—

“Dr. Nidhi? Aap abhi yahan hain? School nahin gayin, Siddhi ko pick karne?” Ashutosh was surprised to find Nidhi on the terrace during the lunch hour.

Nidhi was facing away from the door that connected the terrace to the hospital corridor and was startled by Ashutosh’ voice.

“Sorry. Maine aapko phir dara diya lagta hai,” Ashutosh said sheepishly seeing her turn with a start.

She smiled weakly, “Nahin. Main theek hoon. Siddhi ki friend ke yahan party hai. To aaj main nahin ja rahi hoon.”

“Lunch kar liya aapne.”

“Nahin. Thodee der baad karoongi.”

“Are jaiye. Abhi hi to sab log canteen mein honge.”

“Haan. Woh bahut crowded hai. Isliye…”

“Dr. Nidhi. Aap kabhi apne colleagues ke saath lunch nahin kar paati hain. This is the time…”

“Isliye to awkward hai, Sir…” she bit her lips as she realized that she had revealed something she did not want to. She had earned the reputation of aloofnes amongst her colleagues and now she was not comfortable having lunch with them in the canteen. She would have felt like an outsider. But what will Ashutosh think now. “I’m sorry, Sir. Mera woh matlab nahin tha…”

“Chaliye mere saath,” Ashutosh said thoughtfully.

Nidhi resignedly walked behind him expecting to be led to the canteen, but was surprised when he walked towards his cabin instead. What was this about? A private lecture on the need to socialize with colleages?

But she was in for another surprise.

“Hiraman Kaka dher saara khana bana dete hain roz. Hamesha wapas le jaana padta hai. I should have another plate somewhere… Ye rahi. Dekhiye. Aapki pasand ka kuchh hai ya nahin is dabbe mein…”

“Dr. Ashutosh. Isko zaroorat nahin hai. Aap… Main canteen mein kha loongi. Aap iske liye mujhe yahan laye the? Maine socha…”

“Sit down Dr. Nidhi. Ye chhoti-moti baatein kissi ki maan lene se koi farq nahin padega aapki independence par, trust me.”

Nidhi gave in and served herself some food. Ashutosh also got some for himself and they started eating.

“Waise aapne kya socha tha?” Ashutosh restarted the conversation.

“Ji?”

“Aap kah rahi thi na ki jab main aapko yahan laya to aapne socha… Kya socha?”

“Kuchh nahin.”

“Ye chhoti-moti baatein bata dena se bhi koi farq nahin padega Nidhi.”

Nidhi sighed, “Mujhe laga tha ki aap mujhe samjhane ki koshish karenge ki mujhe apne colleagues ke saath socialize karna chahiye and all that.”

Ashutosh smiled, “Dr. Nidhi. Hum sab apni job mein kuchh assumptions ke saath kaam karte hain. The twenty-two year olds, who walk in through the hospital gates every year, to start their professional careers… Unke baare mein bhi mere kuchh assumptions hote hain. Normally woh sahi bhi hote hain. Woh log mostly achchhe aur studious students rahe hote hain, but duniya nahin dekhi hoti, responsibilities nahin li hoti, real life ka idea nahin hota unhein. Un assumptions ke hisaab se main unhein train karne ko koshish karta hoon. Sirf medicine mein hi nahin, balki overall professional life mein. Lekin…”

“Lekin?” Ashutosh had Nidhi’s attention.

“Lekin jitna maine aapko jaana hai, itni chhoti si umra mein hi aapne itni responsibilities nibhayi hain ki mujhe pata nahin aapke oopar normal rules apply karna fair hai ya nahin? Balki woh aap par apply hote bhi hain ki nahin? Aapko already itne important faisle lene ki aadat hai khud ke liye ki main aapko decision-making nahin sikha sakta. Aapne apne faisle khud liye hain. Aur galtiyan nahin ki hain. Aur itna kuchh karne ke baad agar aap kabhi koi galti kar bhi dein, to woh aapka haq hai.”

Nidhi was staring at him in disbelief by the time he finished.She felt a lump in her throat. She could not swallow her food any longer. And if she tried to do anything at all, she was sure she’d cry. She kept her plate on the table and walked out, not heeding Ashutosh asking her to stop.

—

Ashutosh was confused about what to do for a minute. Then he decided to look for her. He found her on the terrace. Even though she was facing away from him and he was at a distance, it wasn’t difficult to make out that she was crying. He debated with himself about what to do. Go to her or leave her alone. He decided on the latter. She had run away from him to cry. He shouldn’t impose himself on her. He came back.

Knock came on his door about fifteen minutes later.

“Yes Dr. Nidhi?” Ashutosh spoke as if nothing had happened earlier.

She looked uncomfortable and flustered, “I am sorry, Sir. Woh meri joothi plate yahan padi thi.”

“Don’t worry. Clean karwa di hai maine.”

She nodded and made to leave.

“Nidhi,” he stopped her, got up from his chair and walked to her, “Do baatein. Pahli ye ki tumhari duty abhi mere saath hai. Ward no. 2 mein. Jaldbaazi ki koi zaroorat nahin hai. You didn’t have your lunch properly. Aaraam se canteen mein kuchh kha kar aa jao.”

She nodded.

“Aur doosri ye ki sharing and getting support is not a sign of weakness. Agar tum mujhse share karna chaho to I would be very happy. Lekin mujh par nahin to kissi par to bharosa karo. Kissi se to share karo, support lo. Agar main kissi se tumhari jaan pahchaan karwa sakta hoon, ya kissi professional se hi baat karna chaho…”

“Agar share karna hoga,” she interrupted, “To aapse hi kar loongi.” She didn’t know why she said that. But it sounded right.

“I will wait for the day then.”

She nodded and went away.

—

To be continued