“Di. I don’t believe it. Tum mujhe shopping karne ke liye saath mein le kar aayi ho. Aur woh bhi street side bargain shops mein nahin, is mall mein?”

“Mujhe ek dhang ki dress chahiye Siddhi. Main kya karoon?”

“To main ye thode hi na kah rahi hoon ki tum kuchh galat kar rahi ho. Main to bas surpried hoon. Kuchh to change ho gaya hai tumme?”

“Achcha hai ya bura?”

“Jab tak mujhe bekaar mein daanto na, achchha hi hai.”

“Ek baar daanta tha, uske liye kya mujhe zindagi bhar taane milenge?”

“Nahin baba. Chalo. Kya khareedna hai tumhein?”

“Salwaar-kameez theek rahegi na? Dinner par jaane ke liye?”

“Haan. Chalo tumhein ek stylish si salwaar-kameez khareedwai jaye. Waise Di, ek baat poochhoon? Bura to nahin maanogi?”

“Kya?”

“Tum aur Dr. Ashutosh… Kuchh baat hai kya?”

“Zyada bak-bak mat kar Siddhi. Main bas… unki bahut respect karti hoon.”

“Okay. Nahin karti bak-bak. Maine to bas aise hi poochha. Chalo. Is shop mein chalte hain. Achchhe designs dikh rahe hain showcase mein.”

—

“Rahul? Tum yahan kaise?” Ashutosh was surprised to see Rahul in his office. He was still in his school-uniform.

“Sir. Main le aayi.”

“Kyon?”

“Aaj meri duty nahin thi, to main Siddhi ko lene chali gayi. Rahul ko dekh kar mujhe laga ki ise checkup ki zaroorat ho sakti hai.”

“Kya suspect kar rahi hain aap?”

“I hope I am wrong, lekin Sir… jaundice ho sakta hai.”

“Achcha kiya aap le aayin. Main bhi kal yahi soch raha tha. Lekin aaj checkup ke liye la nahin paya.”

“Koi baat nahin, Sir. Main samples dilwa deti hoon.”

“Okay. Thanks Nidhi.”

Nidhi’s and Ashutosh’ suspicions were correct. Rahul was suffering from jaundice and needed full bed rest for recovery apart from the medicines.

Ashutosh maintained outward calm, but Nidhi could sense that he was disturbed.

“Sir. Aap pareshaan kyon ho rahe hain? Bilkul early stages mein detect ho gaya hai. Zyada din nahin lagenage theek hone mein ise.”

“I know. As a doctor I know. But as a parent I don’t know how to manage. Something as simple as full bed-rest for someone as active as Rahul. It’s… going to be tough.”

“I know. Lekin aap ghabraiye mat. Jab bhi possible hoga, main uske saath rahoongi.”

“That’s very sweet of your Nidhi. Lekin aaple oopar already itni zimmedaariyan hain.”

“Aap chinta mat kijiye, Sir. Siddhi ab badi ho gayi hai. Itna samajhti hai. Aur woh bhi Rahul ko company de sakti hai ghar par. Of course, agar aapko aitraaz na ho.”

“Mujhe kyon aitraaz hoga? Lekin aap khud hi dhyaan rakhein ki aapki life disturb na ho.”

“Nahin hogi, Sir.”

—

“Chalo tumhari drawing book dekhte hain,” Nidhi proposed to engage Rahul.

“Okay. Main abhi laata hoon,”

“Tum mujhe bata do kahan hai, main le aati hoon. Tumhein zyada bhaagne-daudne ki manahi hai na.”

“Main kab theek hounga Nidhi Auntie?”

“Bahut jaldi. Abhi batao mujhe… Ye hai tumhari drawing book?” Nidhi pulled out a book from Rahul’s shelf.

“Haan. Wahi hai.”

Ashutosh stopped at the door and watched as Rahul walked her through the trees, cottages, rivers, sun, mangoes and other thing he had drawn.

He stiffened when he heard Rahul mention family, “Aur ye hai meri family.”

Nidhi was also awkward. She did not ask him any quetions like she did in earlier drawings. But Rahul went on, “Ye Papa. Ye Rahul. Aur ye… Meri Mummy to hain nahin. Lekin mere teacher ne aise hi drawing sikhayi hai.”

“Tum apni Mummy ko miss karte ho?” Nidhi could not help asking.

To her surprise, he shook her head, “Nahin. Mujhe Mummy ke baare mein kuchh yaad nahin hai. Lekin Mummy hoti to achchha hota.”

“Kyon?”

“Mummy hoti to mujhe beemaari mein akele nahin rahna padta. Papa hamesha nahin rahte.”

“Papa ko kaam hota hai na Rahul. Aur Mummy hoti to unhein bhi kaam par jaana hota,” Nidhi tried to reason with him.

“Sumit ki Mummy bhi kaam karti hain. Lekin jab uska accident hua tha to uske Papa ya Mummy mein se ek hamesha uske saath rahta tha.”

Nidhi got emotional and pulled him in a hug.

Ashutosh’ stiff expressions changed to those of worry on hearing Nidhi, “Agar main tumhare saath rahoon to?”

“Meri Mummy ki tarah?”

“Would you like that, Rahul?”

“Dr. Nidhi!” Ashutosh had to speak finally. Nidhi was startled. She looked at Ashutosh for a moment, then ran away from there. Ashutosh went to Rahul and asked after his health. Then he called his maid to be with him and went out to find Nidhi, hoping that she hadn’t left.

She hadn’t. She was pacing nervously in the hall. She stopped and stood still when she saw him. The expressions on her face gave nothing away.

“Kya kah rahi thi aap Rahul ko?”

She continued to stand still with downcast eyes and did not reply.

“Main kuchh poochh raha hoon tumse.”

Silence.

“Of all the people tum… tumhein pata hona chahiye ki ek broken family mein bachche ko bada karna kitna mushkil hota hai, kitne mushkil sawaalon ke jawaab dene padte hain, kitni mehnat karni padi hai ye ensure karne mein ki use kabhi apne baare mein, apne parivaar ke baare mein bura mahsoos na ho. Aur jahan tak ho saka hai maine ye sab karne ki koshish ki hai. I’m sorry. I’m sorry ki woh phir bhi in ghar mein Ma ki kami mahsoos karta hai. Lekin us kami se woh cope kar raha hai, Nidhi. Kyonki woh uski life ka hard truth hai. Lekin agar use koi sapna dikha diya, jo poora nahin hua, to usse woh cope nahin kar payega. Kyon dikha rahi ho aise impossible sapne use? Soch kya rahi thi tum?”

“Main… Sir… I am… sorry…” Nidhi mumbled quite scared by his outburst.

“Itna bhadda mazaak us bachche ke saath kaise kar sakti ho tum? Jaan chhidakta hai woh tum par.”

She finally looked up with her tear-filled eyes and met his for the first time during the conversation, “Main bhi to chhidakti hoon apni jaan. Us par bhi aur aap…” In a split second Ashutosh went from being angry, to being confused to being awkward at the realization of what she said, or rather what she left unsaid.

“What? Kya kah rahi ho tum? Pagal ho gayi ho?”

“I am sorry,” she wiped her tears with the back of her hand and made to leave. This was all a mistake.

“Wait. Nidhi,” he grabbed her hand to stop her from going, then found it awkward and let it go. She stopped though. “Bhaagna to koi tareeka nahin hai kissi bhi problem ko suljhane ka.”

“Mujhe koi problem nahin hai.”

“Problem nahin hai to ro kyon rahi ho?”

“Kyonki… mujhe Rahul ko aise nahin bolna chahiye tha aur aap shayad mujhe iske liye maaf nahin karenge.”

“Rahul ko main sambhaal loonga. Lekin jis raaste par tum ja rahi ho, use dekh kar mujhe tumhari chinta ho rahi hai.”

“Kyon?”

“Kyon? Tumhein nahin pata, kyon? Tumhari aankhon par parda pada hua hai. Infatutation ka.”

“Infatuation hone ki meri umra nahin rahi.”

“Kisne kah diya nahin rahi. How old are you? 22? 23? Main har saal tumhari umra ke logon ko supervise karta hoon…”

“Dr. Ashutosh. Please…”

“Look Nidhi,” Ashutosh softened and spoke calmly, “It’s not unusual. At this age… Falling in love… With an authority figure… I’m sure you have seen the infatuation of students with their teachers. Mostly ye harmless hoti hain. Lekin jis situation mein tum ho, jis situation mein main hoon… Ye fantasies tumhein problem mein daal sakti hain. Aur fantasies sachchai mein nahin badalti. I am a 38 year old man with a growing son to take care of. You must find someone more suitable for you…”

“Mere liye to aapne saare decisions pahle se hi le liye hain. Lekin aapko apne liye kya lagta hai?”

“Matlab?”

“Matlab aap kya sochte hain apni zindagi ke baare mein? Kya aapko kissi ki zaroorat hai? Kya aapki zindagi mein mere liye koi jagah hai?”

“Nidhi!”

“Maine aapko surprise kar diya hai. I won’t insist on an answer now. Mujhe koi jaldbaazi nahin hai.”

“Nidhi… Tum…”

“Kya main kuchh der Rahul ke saath aur baith sakti hoon?”

He nodded and went to his room. But soon he came out and observed her with Rahul again. She was reading him a story and putting him to sleep. After he fell asleep, she bent down and kissed him on forehead. She mumbled something which seemed like ‘I am sorry’ to Ashutosh. He stepped away from the door so that she did not see him standing there when she left.

Ashutosh went back to his room and started thinking. She had asked him a question. Did he need somebody in his life? As such it wasn’t difficult to answer. Did he need somebody? Yes – he did. But could he have somebody? That was the difficult question. Outwardly he made fun of his failed marriage, but inwardly he was scarred by it. After all, at one point of time, marrying Ranjeeta had seemed like the right thing to do. It, obviously, wasn’t so. If he thought only about his loneliness, he would have risked loving and marrying again. But Rahul? He was very young when Ranjeeta had left. It had been relatively easy to get him accustomed to living without her. If something went wrong again? If he never bonded with the woman he brought in his life? If he did bond, but…

It was all just too complicated. It had become easier to live a life devoted to work and Rahul, instead of trying to fill the gap that existed in both their lives. After Baba died, there was nobody to pester him about the second marriage either. So, life had fallen into a rhythm and nobody had disturbed it till then.

But then Nidhi happened. The girl, who was such a combination of strength and bitterness that it made no sense. And then one fine day she had appeared in Rahul’s life out of nowhere. Nidhi Auntie! Ashutosh had heard him talk about her. But never even in his dreams could he have imagined that the Nidhi his son fawned over was the same Dr. Nidhi, who never even smiled. But she did smile… With Kids, with Siddhi and with Rahul. And she bonded with him. She had been a mother and a father to her sister and she managed to be a mother-figure to Rahul. That too at such a young age… Age!! Wasn’t that THE problem? They were almost a generation apart. It was unthinkable… And yet! She had thought about it. She had been thinking about it for a while. Her sudden reticence and curtness on his birthday now made sense. And she thought of it as a real possibility. Otherwise she wouldn’t have spoken of it before Rahul. So, the ball came back to his court. What did he want? Did he want somebody? Did he want her?

Should he want her?

—

To be continued