“Nidhi. Kaafi raat ho gayi hai. Tum logon ko nikal jaana chahiye,” Nidhi had been helping Rahul with his homework after Siddhi’s birthday party and had just come to Ashutosh’ room.

“Hum log aaj ruk rahe hain,” Nidhi replied cheerfully and sat down beside him.

“Nahin. Tum ghar chali jao.”

“Ji?” Nidhi was surprised.

“Haan… Woh mujhe kuchh kaam hai…”

“To… Aap kar lijiye apna kaam. Main aapko disturb nahin karoongi…”

“Nahin Nidhi. Ghar jao. Please.”

This was a first. Nidhi was flustered. “Aap mujhese naaraaz hain kya?” Her trepidation surprised her too. She felt absolutely terrified.

It was impossible for Ashutosh not to notice her reaction. Guilt overcame him immediately. Her held her and reassured her, “No. No Nidhi. Aisa kuchh nahin hai. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Pareshaan mat ho. Please.”

It took Nidhi a few moments to calm down. Feeling overwhelmed she hugged him tight. She looked like a scared child clinging hard to a parent.

“Nidhi!”

“Main bahut dar gayi thi Dr. Ashutosh. Please aisa kabh phir mat…”

“Calm down, Nidhi. Aise dar kyon rahi ho? Maine kaha na – I am sorry… Mujhe aise nahin…”

“Mujhe khud nahin pata tha ki main… It’s probably stupid. Lekin ek pal ke liye meri jaan nikal gayi thi.”

“Itna chahti ho mujhe?” Ashutosh asked very seriously.

“Aapko ashcharya ho raha hai?”

“Nahin… Bas pray kar raha hoon ki zaroorat padne par main tumhari aur tumhari feelings ki is intensity ko match kar paun.”

“Aap pareshaan hain kissi baat par? Kal se hi… Kya baat hui thi aapki Dr. Surana se?”

“Kuchh khaas nahin. Don’t worry.”

Nidhi could sense that he was hiding something, but she did not insist right then. “Main aapko aur pareshaan nahin karoongi. Lekin I really hope ki ek din aap bhi apne man ki baatein mujhe batane mein utna hi comfortable feel karenge, jitna main aapko batane mein karti hoon.”

“Nidhi. Aisa kuchh nahin hai…”

“Maine Siddhi ko bol diya tha ki hum ruk rahe hain. Isliye main wapas nahin ja rahi. Waran woh bekaar mein hazaar sawaal poochhegi. Aap so jaiye. Good night.”

“Good night, Nidhi.”

She nodded and got up to leave.

“Nidhi,” Ashutosh stopped her and got up. He hugged her gently and then kissed her on forehead. “Good night,” he said in a soft and sincere voice. It made a chill run down Nidhi’s spine. She could melt in his arms right then. She was so madly in love with him. But she just smiled and left. That was not the time!

—

It was Sunday afternoon. Nidhi was off-duty. Siddhi had gone to Preeti’s house. Preeti had not been allowed to come to Siddhi’s house. But she had invited Siddhi instead. Siddhi had obliged.

It had more than a week since Siddhi’s birthday. Ashutosh had arranged everything on the day. It had been the grandest bithday Siddhi had ever got. She was super-excited. But Ashutosh was only putting up an act of excitement. Something was eating him up. Nidhi hadn’t offered to stay at his house all these days. And he hadn’t asked her either. It was like back to old days, when he hadn’t accepted their relationship. She spent a lot of time with Rahul at his home and otherwise. But he was restrained before her.

He wasn’t ignoring her. If anything, he was overly sensitive of her needs. If she looked tired, he made sure she went home and slept early. If she missed a meal, he would blast her over it. Once she had a minor cut and he had raised such hell over it that even Rahul had been surprised. “Papa. Band Aid laga dijiye. Theek ho jayegi. Aap Nidhi Auntie ko itna daant kyon rahe hain? Aisi chot to mujhe bhi lagi hai. Dekhiye.”

He had apologized to her later, “Mujhe tumhein bachchon ke saamne aise nahin daantna chahiye tha. I am sorry.”

“Aap achchhi tarah jaante hain ki aapki daant ka mujhe bura nahin laga. Taqleef is baat ki hai ki aapne mujhe isliye daanta ki aap pareshaan hain. Aur mujhse share nahin kar pa rahe hain.”

“Tumse kuchh isliye nahin kah raha hoon kyonki mujhe khud nahin pata ki main kya mahsoos kar raha hoon. Mujhe maaloon hai ki main tumhein ek baar phir se pareshaan kar raha hoon. Mujhe maaf kar paogi?”

“Aapko mujhse maafi maangne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Aur agar hui bhi to meri kamzori ye nahin hai ki aapko maaf nahin kar paungi. Mujhe to dar is baat ka hai ki main kab tak aapka lihaaj kar ke patience rakh paungi. Shayad zyada dinon tak nahin. Ho sake to mere patience ka imtihaan mat lijiye Dr. Ashutosh. Mujhe bata dijiye.”

“I’m sorry, Nidhi.”

Ashutosh was frustrated with himself. What he was doing made no rational sense. Yet he was unable to speak it out before Nidhi. Dr. Surana had told him about a rumour amongst the board members that someone was blaming him for sexual harassment at work. He didn’t know what the source was and who was the supposed victim. He had just asked him to be cautious. There was a possibility that he would be questioned. Ashutosh was not scared. How could something that did not happen be proved? But he cared about people’s opinions. So, he was offended that people in the board, who had known him for years, could even remotely think of something like that being true. He would have told Nidhi about it. He was sure that she would laugh it off. She didn’t care. And she might have helped him relax as well with her go-to-hell attitude. He had finally decided that he’d do it after Siddhi’s birthday party. But just before the party, he had received another piece of information. Apparently people were talking about Nidhi. What the hell! Was somebody aware of their relationship and trying to use it against him? It was sickening. He maintained some distance from Nidhi as a precaution. Whenever he thought about it, he felt sure that Nidhi would know how to deal with it and would not let it affect her. He did not need to be over-protective about her. And yet when it came to doing it, he could not bring himself to talk about it. He wished he was like her. That a sightly awkward topic did not make it impossible for him to talk. And yet… He had hoped to find out what was going on and fix it. But he had made no progress at all. He knew that Nidhi’s patience was wearing out and it was unfair on his part to keep her in a limbo like that. He decided to talk to her. Just then his phone rang. It was Dr. Rangnath. Was there an emergency?

“Yes Dr. Rangnath. Koi problem hai?”

“No Sir. Hospital mein sab theek hai. Lekin Mr. Khandelwal ka phone aaya tha.” Mr. Khandelwal was the chairman of the board.

“And?”

“Sir. Kuchh selected board members aapse milna chahte hain kal afternoon.”

“Kis liye?”

“Sir. Unhone mujhe bataya nahin, mere baar baar poochhne par bhi. They insisted that it is confidential.”

“Theek hai. Anytime after two is fine. Aap exact time fix kar ke mujhe bata dijiye.”

“Right Sir.”

So the day had come. He would fix everything tomorrow. But him not telling Nidhi should not give her a wrong signal, when she did finally come to know. While talking about the issue to her remained difficult for him to do, he decided to tell her something else.

—

Nidhi came out of her reverie, as her phone rang.

“Dr. Ashutosh? Sab theek to hai? Rahul theek hai na?”

“Nidhi. Calm down. Main kya tumhein phone nahin kar sakta?”

She fell silent.

“Nidhi?”

“I’m feeling very lonely Dr. Ashutosh. I miss you,” her voice quivered even as she blinked back her tears hoping not to choke.

“Nidhi. Ye pahli baar nahin hai ki mere indecision ki wajah se tum suffer kar rahi ho. Lekin main kahin gaya nahin hoon. I am just waiting to fix something. Aur shayad kal tak fix ho jayega.”

“Kya main aapki help nahin kar sakti?”

“I promise ki iske baad kabhi bhi tumhein kissi cheez se door nahin rakhoonga. Lekin bas is baar… thoda sa patience rakho. Thoda sa intezaar karo.”

“Aapka intezaar to main zindagi bhar karne ko taiyaar thi Dr. Ashutosh. Agar aap majboor karenge to phir se wahi karoongi. Mere paas aur koi option nahin hai.”

“Come what may. Nidhi. Main chahta hoon ki tum ek baat yaad rakho.”

“Kya?”

“I love you and I trust you. Infinitely.”

Nidhi was overwhelmed. She broke into sobs over the phone itself.

“Tum ro rahi ho? Nidhi please. Main… main aata hoon wahan.”

“Nahin. It’s okay,” she hastened to assure him, “Aap jis bhi cheez ka intezaar kar rahe hain, main bhi uska intezaar kar loongi. Ek baat aap bhi yaad rakhiyega.”

“Kya?”

“Zindagi mein bahut kuchh maine khoya hai, aur bhi bahut kuchh kho kar bhi zinda rahne ki himmat rakhti hoon. Lekin main aapko nahin kho sakti. Agar aisa hua to…”

“Shh… Ek shabd nahin. Maine jo kaha hai woh yaad rakhna. Phir tumhein darne ki zaroorat nahin hogi.”

The doorbell rang just then. “Siddhi wapas aa gayi hai, I think.”

“Theek hai. Rona band karo bilkul, warna woh pareshaan ho jayegi. Hum baad mein baat karte hain.”

“Ji.”

—

To be continued