Paritosh was aware that trying to resolve this on the street will create a scene. So, even though it meant losing a few minutes he took out his car. Driving, he managed to catch up with Rupali within minutes.

“Get in,” he pulled up beside her and lowered the window.

“I’m fine,” she tried to avoid him.

“Get in, Rupali,” he drove slowly to keep pace with her.

For how long could she avoid and resist him? She stopped walking, and climbed in. They drove to the department, then walked to his office in silence.

“Will you tell me what happened?” he asked after they were assured of complete privacy inside his office.

“I don’t know. Nothing happened. I don’t know why I broke down.”

“I think you know. But you don’t want to say it.”

Rupali gulped hard and looked at him. Did he want her to say it?

“And that is a wise thing to do,” he added, “Some things in life are best left unsaid. Some feelings are best left unexpressed. But that does not mean they are not understood and appreciated.”

She lowered her eyes. Did it mean he understood?

“But don’t feel dejected, Rupali, if they can’t be reciprocated. We are social animals. We live for people other than ourselves. Do you understand?”

Of course, she did. He was well-respected man. Married, with a family to look after. He couldn’t reciprocate her feelings.

“What is important is to not get stuck on people who can’t reciprocate your feelings. Whatever be their reasons, it’s not you. Your feelings are beautiful, you heart is loving. You must bestow them on someone deserving.”

Silent tears started flowing from her eyes again. “Please don’t cry. If not for yourself, for the sake of people who don’t like seeing you unhappy. Please, Rupali. Tears can hurt.”

She had hero-worshipped him for years. But nothing he had said over the years had touched her like that did. She hoped that her goosebumps were not visible. Outwardly, she nodded and wiped off her tears.

“There is no water in this bottle. Let me get you some. Sit down untill then.”

He brought her water from the water cooler located in the common room.

She took a sip, then said, “I should go back to the hostel now. You should also go home. Your family will be waiting.”

“Yes. But your eyes are swollen. Unless you want to explain this to everybody, you might want to wait here for a while and leave after you are better. I am leaving the spare keys of the office. Keep them with you.”

“Thanks!”

“Just don’t think of jumping off the window,” he joked, but with a sad smile as he recalled the face of the dead student.

“If I have to jump off, I will find somebody else’s office. I will never put you in trouble, Dr. Khanna. Come what may,” Rupali replied resolutely.

“I know,” he smiled, looked her over helplessly. He would have liked to pull her into a tight hug, but he was bound by his sense of propriety and duty.

—

Rupali was about to enter Paritosh’ office when she heard Milind’s voice and stopped.

“That’s straight out of Bollywood movies, Paritosh. Too bad I wasn’t here to witness it. She must be madly in love with you to do something like that.”

“Hmm…” Paritosh didn’t react to that, not even to deny it.

“Did I cross a line there? But come on, Paritosh. We are friends. I’m not going to go around complaining to Amrit.”

Paritosh chuckled, “That is not my worry, MM. Even if you tell Amrit, she is not going to listen to a word against Rupali now. After that incident–”

“Lucky man.”

Paritosh laughed this time and Rupali felt her chest tighten, “You don’t give me much credit for being a nice and honest man, MM. Just because a young girl hero-worships me, you think I am going to take advantage of her and cheat on my wife?”

“The bourgeois notions of right and wrong, some would say. Number one, I think you are as head over heals in love with her, as she is with you. Number two, are you happy in your marriage?”

“Number one is irrelevant. About number two – how should I define happiness? If marital happiness is in finding an intellectual companion, an equal person to be your partner, with whom you can look at the life and the world together, then I would be miserable. But happiness could mean simpler things. A cozy home, a caring wife, a wonderful kid, peaceful life. I should be very happy from that perspective.”

“Are you?”

“When I had married Amrit, I hadn’t given her a checklist of what my happiness would mean. She tries to keep me happy the way she knows. I have to do the same. That’s the deal.”

“And Rupali? Is it fair to her?”

“She might come across as a brat sometimes, MM. But she is mature. And she understands things. Nobody can do anything about their feelings. But she knows that there is no relationship and no future in these feelings. Period.”

“That’s an active volcano you are living with.”

“Not for long.”

Milind’s mobile rang just then.

“Excuse me, I have to take this call. I will catch up with you later,” As Milind came out of the office, Rupali moved away from the door, so that he didn’t see her. Then she went in pretending she hadn’t heard anything. “Not for long” was stuck in her mind though. What did Paritosh mean by that?

—

To be continued