It was Saturday afternoon. Although normally Paridhi spent most of her weekends also at work, she wasn’t doing so this time. She was sitting in the hall, with Subrato and filling him in with the details of her research work. Suddenly she changed the topic.

“Did I tell you, I reconnected with my brother?”

“You did?” Subrato straightened up with and asked with interest, “How come? Where did you find him?”

She smiled, “You are the culprit again. You forced me to open a Facebook account.”

“Which you hardly use. But yeah – why shouldn’t I have forced? The reason you didn’t have one was to protect yourself from the prying eyes of your family and potential in-laws. The reason no longer existed. Anyway. So, your brother…”

“Yeah. We just found each other there. He is in Mumbai. In a job. He has a kid also now. He is doing very well for himself.”

“That’s great to know. And Paridhi?”

“Hmm?”

“Did your mother never get in touch with you?”

She shook her head sadly.

“Did you try?”

“No. I… She had disowned me. It wasn’t me…”

“It’s okay. I just…” her extreme care had turned into extreme anger and apathy. She couldn’t be blamed though.

“You know something,” she clearly wanted to talk.

“Go on.”

“I feel really, really bad for her.”

“Paridhi…”

“No. Don’t get me wrong. I am not regretting any of my decisions. She is miserable. But making myself miserable could hardly have solved her problems. She has been a victim of circumstances. Unfortunately, she did not have the strength to take things in her own hands. She tried to make amends for what was wrong with her life in strange ways… Making me miserable…”

“You mean your father’s death…”

“Not really. But how everything was before and after it. Her married life was never peaceful. And apparently the culprit was dowry. Dadi always complained that in her only son’s wedding, she did not get much of dowry and kept taunting Mummy for it all the time. This went on even after several years of marriage. My brother remembers it. My father was apparently stuck between his mother and wife, couldn’t open his mouth before his mother and could not do anything to placate his wife… Result was everyday fight in the house. The day he died… In an accident, while he was driving… There had been a huge fight at home. And till date Dadi blames Mummy for the accident. Apparently if she hadn’t fought with her husband before he left home, the accident would not have happened. And Mummy can’t really hold her ground. She has always been cowed down by Dadi. That even I have seen. She saw us – her children – as the only chance of her getting some ground under her feet. And she tried so hard to mold us in a way that will make her look good to Dadi and the society they both cared so much about, that… She lost both of us. I had seen the misery and gloom after my brother left. I had thought that by making some sacrifices, I could probably give her some respite. But that wasn’t about to happen. Giving whatever they wanted as dowry was her way of assuring that I lived my life with dignity, not the way she had to. She was sure that she was settling me the right way. I won’t be taunted about dowry all my life. What she refused to see was that dowry wasn’t the way to a dignified life, independence was. Obviously, she still doesn’t see it this way…”

Subrato walked towards her and sat beside her. He took her hands in his and pressed them lightly. “I understand Paridhi,” he said in an extremely soft voice, “You were not an idiot that you were trying to put up with all of that for so long. You were trying to set things right.”

“Where do you get this infinite patience from? You have always listened to me, so patiently?”

“Purely selfish reasons Paridhi. Purely selfish. I have been stung by people who don’t care. So, I care a lot about people who do. And now let me get some coffee for you.”

“I will get it.”

“Sit down. You don’t need to play an Indian housewife with me.”

“I am just playing a host.”

“How about we play roommates instead? Equals?”

She smiled, shrugged and gave up. She could try with all her might, but she couldn’t get around this man.

“What is this?” Subrato noticed something lying on the table with his name on it, when he brought the coffee.

“This… is… I haven’t saved enough to repay everything to you. But the application fees. A cheque for that. I wasn’t sure if your old bank account is active. Or you will be opening a new one. So, I haven’t put the date…”

“Paridhi. This…”

There he goes, she thought to herself. He won’t accept it. Part of her wanted him not to accept it. That would mean…

“What happened?” she asked outwardly.

“Umm… Nothing. I will put the date.”

He accepted it! She hoped her disappointment didn’t show.

“I have a question though,” he spoke again.

“Yeah?”

“Will repaying me ensure that you do not feel indebted to me?”

“Why are you… No. I can’t ever stop feeling indebted to you.”

“Why?” he was exasperated.

“Why? Number one – it isn’t just the money. Number two – even for money, it was the time that mattered… Somebody giving me 4800 bucks today won’t matter. So, my returning it to you today doesn’t make the importance of having it then disappear.”

“Paridhi…”

“And number three,” she did not let him interrupt, “This feeling connects me to you. I can’t let it go. It’s… It’s my emotional life line. Why can’t you let me have it? Why does it bother you so much?”

“Because…” he got up, held her hands and made her stand up too, “I have a connection with you too. And I want to know if you feel it. But not under indebtedness. That would spoil everything.”

“What connection?” her voice quivered in anticipation.

“You tell me. If you forget for a while that you feel indebted to me, do you still feel something else?”

“Do you?”

“I already told you, I do. I need to know from you.”

“Like hell, I do. What took you… so long to ask? Was it so difficult to see that?” her eyes filled with tears even as she smiled.

“There is no way to deal with you except patience. You know that, don’t you?” he also smiled and pulled her in a hug. The long-awaited one!

“You drove me to impatience,” she said.

He broke the hug and smiled mischievously, “Really? You are impatient now?”

She suddenly stepped back and said nervously, “I didn’t mean that.”

“You didn’t mean what?”

“Nothing,” she was trying to look anywhere but him to deal with her shyness and embarrassment, “The coffee is getting cold. Let’s… let’s finish it.”

Subrato was amused by her sudden nervousness. But he decided not to tease her. “Sure. Let’s finish the coffee,” he said sat down on a chair across her with his coffee mug.

He noticed that she was holding her mug with both her hands. “You all right?” he asked looking concerned.

“Yes… Yes…” she noticed him staring at her hands, “Just a little cold. Hot coffee feels good….” Her voice trailed as she saw his eyebrows raised. He didn’t believe her. And he was right not to. “I am extremely nervous,” she said plainly and honestly.

He sighed and smiled, then went over and sat beside her. He kept his own coffee mug on the table and put his hands around hers on her mug.

“Are you scared of me?” he asked gently.

“Of course not.”

“Then?”

“I don’t know. How am I supposed to know? It doesn’t happen every day…”

“Silly girl,” he couldn’t suppress a grin, “Here take a sip.”

“Why are you holding my… mug?” she did not say hands.

“Because your hands are trembling and you are going to spill your coffee.”

She took the sip, “Aren’t you going to drink your own?”

“No,” he took her mug from her and deposited that on the table too, “I think there is better coffee waiting for me elsewhere.” He did not give her a chance to interpret what he said and attacked her lips thrusting his tongue deep in her mouth. After initial surprise and awkwardness, Paridhi responded with gusto.

After they broke the kiss, Paridhi hugged him tight and started crying silently. He realized it when he felt the wetness on his shirt.

“Paridhi. What happened…” he tried to break the hug to talk to her, but she clutched him hard.

“No,” she whispered urgently, “Let me be. Don’t push me away.”

She needed to feel the support and care. Her proximity was wrecking havoc on his hormones. But this wasn’t the time. Her emotional voids needed to be filled first.

“You know something,” he said after a while without trying to break the hug.

She pulled back just a bit to look at him and asked, “What?”

“Purple does suit you very well.”

She blushed and grinned and hid her face in his chest.

The check was forgotten and it would be discovered much later, when Paridhi would be packing her stuff to shift to a new house with Subrato.

—

To be continued