Month: December 2012

Coming Around (Part 14)

Posted Mish7 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Subrato-Paridhi

“Welcome back to New York!” he was startled by her voice.

“What are you doing here?” he asked without thinking.

“Last time I checked this was an airport and people are allowed to come here if they want,” Paridhi grinned.

Subrato had landed at John F. Kennedy International Airport a while back, had passed through the customs and was waiting for his luggage near the luggage belt, when Paridhi had surprised him. His two-year contract with IIAM had been over and he had come back to New York, to his old job. Paridhi had been doing her Ph. D. in New York University for last one year.

Subrato smiled, “So, I am getting a dose of my own medicine, eh? You didn’t tell me you would be coming. In fact, you had said something about being away for a conference.”

He noticed that she was wearing a purple dress. It suited her very well. As usual. He wondered if he should compliment her on that. He also wondered if he could hug her. He badly wanted to. They had been talking to each other regularly. But he wasn’t sure where their relationship stood. She needed time, space… She needed to sort out her own life. He thought that trying to push her into a relationship or commitment would be too much for her to handle. Especially given how indebted she felt to him. Despite his admonitions, she could not stop herself every now and then from talking about how much he had helped her and how she would never be able to repay all of it.

“A little surprise doesn’t hurt, does it?” she replied excitedly. Could she hug him, she wondered. She badly wanted to. But he was her mentor, guide… even a guardian. What if she was too… beneath him? She had thought and accused him of wanting her once, but she couldn’t be sure if he did; in particular if he still did after her accusations. And if she presumed anything wrong, it would be awkward afterwards. Probably disastrous too. So, she refrained.

Subrato was elated to see her there. So elated that his heart was racing. He had to try hard to keep his reactions in control. From their phone calls and e-mails, he had come to believe that she was rather casual about his return to New York. As if it was hardly a big deal for her. It had been disappointing, though he hadn’t let it on. But obviously that was not the case. She had been planning a surprise. May be he could hug her, after all.

But he didn’t!

“No it doesn’t. In fact it makes you… happy. Paridhi. I was unsure about the decision. But right now, I feel really happy that I am back.”

“So am I,” she was not restrained in her response, “Has your luggage come yet? Shall we go.”

—

“Hudson Hotel, 58th street,” Subrato gave the address of the hotel to the cab driver outside the airport, then confirmed with Paridhi, “You will come with me, right? You are free?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

They sat silently for a while as the cab drove on. Paridhi broke the silence, “How long are you going to stay in the hotel?”

“They will pay for three weeks. I need to find an apartment by then.”

“Hmm… And what if you didn’t find an apartment by then?”

“Three weeks is long enough. I have already seen some options online…”

“But if you can’t?”

“Paridhi? What do you want to say?”

“I… I… Nothing… Nothing at all.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah.”

“I will find an apartment. Don’t worry.”

“Of course. You will…”

And awkward silence came between them once again.

“You could stay in my apartment,” suddenly she spoke again.

“Excuse me?”

“My roommate has moved out a while back. I haven’t taken anyone else in. I have a spare room. You can… Of course, only if… you want…”

He stared at her for a while before answering, “Why don’t you give the driver your apartment’s address?”

—

The room she led him to was squeaky clean, the bed was made and every piece of furniture was in place.

“Wow! You haven’t been doing Hotel Management here, have you?” he teased her.

“Huh?”

“I thought you weren’t know to keep your room clean. Back in those days, at least.”

She smiled, “I have snatched you away from a luxurious hotel. I hope it is comfortable.”

“It’s the best!”

“Why don’t you freshen up? I will get something to eat and drink. You want to take rest after that?”

“It’s better to stay awake until evening. Will help get over the jet lag faster.”

“Okay. Towels are there in the bathroom. I will make some coffee while you freshen up.”

But when Paridhi came back to the room with coffee, he had fallen asleep. She smiled, covered him with a blanket and stepped out noiselessly to avoid waking him up.

—
“So much for overcoming jet lag quickly,” he came to the hall after waking up.

Paridhi was reading something, “It’s okay. You have to join only on Monday. You will be fine by then. Did you sleep well?”

“Very well.”

“But now you will remain awake the entire night.”

“Truth be told, I am quite accustomed to doing that now.”

“Really? Why?”

“Somebody stole my sleep.”

Paridhi guffawed, albeit nervously, “I feel like I am watching a bollywood movie live with those corny dialogs. Shall I get you some coffee?” Then she regretted changing the subject. What if he did intend to say what she wanted to hear? But it was too late now.

“That’d be great.”

“So, I haven’t asked you yet,” he asked after she had brought coffee, “How have you been?”

“Fine!”

“Don’t you miss India?”

“I miss people.”

“But overall… Are you happy, Paridhi?”

“You mean to ask whether I have done the right thing in taking your advice,” she smiled, “The answer is yes. I couldn’t have taken a better decision. Steve, my guide, is very happy. But you, of course, know that.”

“Why would I know that?”

“Come on. You thought you would be able to keep it a secret from me. Steve told me how strong a recommendation you had given to him for me. And not just the formal one. He obviously knows you very well and respects you a lot.”

“We have worked together in past. And the respect is mutual. But yeah – you caught me. I have, indeed, kept a tab on your work,” he grinned.

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t do you a favour or anything Paridhi. You have done well. It proves that you got only what you deserved.”

“Why are you so hyper about proving that you never helped me with anything. You have helped me at every step. What is the harm in accepting it?”

“I wish I could explain. But anyway, aren’t you hungry?”

” I haven’t cooked at home. I still eat at Indian time. But restaurants here will be open for dinner already. If you don’t want to go out, I can order something in.”

“No. In fact, let me take you to a great Indian place in New York. I think you can’t get such nice Indian food even in India.”

“Really? Let’s go.”

—

To be continued

Coming Around (Part 13)

Posted Mish7 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Subrato-Paridhi

Paridhi was still getting ready for the engagement ceremony, when she heard the commotion outside. Feeling uneasy, she grabbed the photo Subrato had given to her and came outside.

“There must be some misunderstanding, Mala ji,” her mother was pleading with her would-be mother-in-law, “Our daughter is not like that.”

“The proof is here. Which mother in the world can get his son married to a characterless girl, who is roaming around the city with God-Knows-Whom! I am leaving. This engagement can’t happen.”

“What’s going on?” Paridhi interrupted.

“You tell me,” her grandmother was literally grinding her teeth, “What is going on?” She thrust the photograph Mala had brought into Paridhi’s hand. “Who is this?” she demanded.

“This is… Wait a minute… Who clicked the photo?”

“Why don’t you just answer what has been asked of you?” it was her mother this time.

“I will,” Paridhi was sure by now of where all of this was going, “But I want to know who took this photo.”

“Somebody who cared about my son and my family,” Mala interrupted bossily, “I don’t care who it was. I am just happy I got to know your true colors in time.”

“And that somebody will be you, isn’t it Mala Auntie?” Paridhi looked directly in her eyes.

“What are you saying?”

“You very well know who this is. You spoke to me, I introduced him as my Professor, I had told you that there was a class dinner and we were waiting for others. You had even cracked a joke about we being a spoiled generation. But you were least interested in any of that, right? What you were really interested in was a way to create this drama. So, after talking to us so nicely, you took this photo without telling us. Just so you could use this as a weapon against me and my family on this day, right? What more? The very next day after meeting me here, and taking this photo, you went ahead and confirmed the proposal to my mother. It was all very convenient, wasn’t it? Wasn’t that why you had insisted on a small family-only engagement ceremony. You already knew the drama you were going to play here, didn’t you? Having too many people around would have been inconvenient!”

“That’s a great story darling,” Mala was prepared for this part and confident sarcasm was literally dripping from her words, “The question is why on earth would I do that?”

“You didn’t think I would have an answer for that, did you? Unfortunately for you, I have a photograph as well,” she straightened out the crumpled photograph in her hands in front of Mala’s eyes and she visibly recoiled in surprise.

“What… what is this?” she stammered.

“The truth. The real reason this engagement can not happen, could never have happened,” she turned around to show the photograph to other people in the room as well, which included her mother, grand mother and a relative who had been instrumental in fixing this wedding, whom her family had blindly trusted.

“Mummy. These people never intended to go ahead with this wedding. Aniket is not busy. He is… well… I don’t know whom you have insulted more? Me or your own son, Mala Auntie? What is more disturbing? Living with a handicap? Or having parents who can’t accept that their son may not fetch the fat dowry they had planned all through their lives and who trick somebody into giving that dowry. Or is he also happily a part of it? Like mother, like son?”

“This is outrageous. A characterless girl is making false accusations on my family…”

“Enough!” Paridhi roared this time, “Two things. First, make sure all the dowry money that has been given to you is back with my mother in twenty-four hours. Otherwise I am reporting this to the police. There is no saying what will happen once this goes out. Proving that you intended to deceive us all along is going to be a piece of cake for me. And dowry charges on top of that… You might want to read up on Internet how bad they can be… And you too Pradeep Uncle,” she turned to the relative, “Nobody is going to preach me about trusting the family any longer. How much of a cut were you going to get in the dowry? Actually… I am not interested in that right now. You just show as much enthusiasm in getting that money back to Mummy by tomorrow, as you had shown in getting this so-called-relationship fixed. Else be ready to be a co-accused of fraud and dowry charges. And the second thing. Get out!!”

—

Subrato smiled in admiration, “That was… something. And your legalese was quite in place. Fraud charges, co-accused etc. etc.”

“I had read up about the legal implications of it all. I might be sad, but I was not shocked that it happened this way. I couldn’t have guessed that she would try to use you to created this drama though. I was expecting something on my brother…”

“Never mind! I am not harmed,” suddenly he frowned recalling something, “You said something about holding you responsible. Who is holding you responsible? For what?”

“It was because I could not impress other decent people whose proposals had come earlier that we fell for these tricksters. What will my family do now? Where will they find a groom for me? The word will get out. And it doesn’t matter what the reality is, it is always the girl who suffers. Especially given that there is also dirt to be dug up on my brother.”

“This is ridi…” Subrato reacted impulsively, but controlled himself. Given her tendency to be by her family despite their insensitivity, he did not want to become another person hurting her.

“You can say it. You have always thought it to be ridiculous, haven’t you? My family? Me? My insistence on not going against them.”

“I don’t think you deserved this. Any of this. But beyond that, I am no one to pass judgment on who is right and who isn’t.”

“You are very kind.”

“Come on now… By the way, you came back just like that?”

“No. I finally did what anybody who had any clue of my situation thought I should do. I rebelled. I told them I am going to take none of it going forward. And they should leave me alone.”

“And?”

“And my grand mother blamed my mother as usual, for everything, and my mother told me that she will disown me if I stepped out of the house, like she had done for my brother.”

“And you still stepped out.”

“Yep. I am on my own now.”

Subrato watched her sombre face for a couple of seconds. He hadn’t been blind. He had often questioned himself on caring so much about her. She refused to see that her family was ruining her life. She accused him of conspiring against her when he tried to help her. Was she worth it? This moment answered it for him. Yes. A big, fat YES. She wasn’t an idiot. She wasn’t weak. She just cared. Cared to a fault. But that wasn’t a fault he could grudge her. She was worth all of it and more.

“No you are not,” he said suddenly.

“Excuse me?”

“You are not on your own. I’m there.”

“Yeah. I can see that very clearly. You were at Charbagh station too. At midnight,” she chuckled, albeit sadly. Still her attempt at cracking a joke showed that she had accepted her decision whole-heartedly and was willing to move on.

“If you accept that,” he said very carefully and slowly, watching her reaction, “I will take the liberty of being a bit intrusive and ask how are you placed financially and what help will you need.”

She seemed quite at ease as she replied and that made Subrato comfortable too, “This is the last term. Fees have already been paid for. I have enough savings from my pocket-money and summer internship stipend to last me a few months for my personal expenses. I will go for placements and try to get the joining as early as possible.”

“You have already thought everything through,” he smiled, “But if you ever need anything…”

“I will, I think…” she was more hesitant now.

“Go on.”

“If I get an admission in Ph. D. and have to go to US…”

“You will need money for the trip and setting down there until you start getting your pay from the university. Don’t worry.”

“It’s probably stupid, but I really don’t know how much that will be and how big a burden that will be for you. I still have to pay you back the application fees…”

“Umm… Despite what you would like to believe, I am not a first year MBA student. I have earned long enough now for that not to be a burden.”

Paridhi frowned and blushed at the first-year-student joke. Then she just shook her head, smiled and did not say anything in reply.

“I should go to my hostel now.”

“How will you explain reaching this late?”

“Delayed train. Indian railway can be our best friend sometimes. Nobody will doubt that.”

He realized very consciously how much he loved her witty remarks, “Have you eaten something?”

“I am not hungry.”

“Since when have you not eaten?”

She had forgotten that she was hungry since the morning. She had been advised to fast for the engagement.

“All right,” she did not directly reply to his question, but agreed to eat, “What do you have?”

“Only some dry snacks. But it’s better than being hungry.”

She followed him to his kitchen and noticed that there were no dishes in the sink.

“Have you eaten anything?” she asked in concern.

He just smiled and shrugged. He hadn’t eaten anything since morning. He had been too agitated.

“Fine. Let’s have an untimely meal of what have we got… Haldiram bhujia, Sunfeast biscuits and… Mixed fruit juice… A meal to remember!” she grinned and Subrato automatically followed the suit.

—

To be continued

Coming Around (Part 12)

Posted Mish10 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Subrato-Paridhi

Subrato slumped into his chair after Paridhi left and his eyes fell on the invitation card lying on his table. He picked it up. Engagement was fixed for 26th February. Less than ten days were left. And he had lost her trust! There was nothing he could do. She’d throw herself into an even worse pit than she currently was in. And he’d be able to do nothing.

He took a deep breath and tried to think clearly. It was only an engagement. The truth will come out somehow or the other. Unless there is an evil identical twin plan at work, which was too filmy to be true, by the day of engagement, the truth will come out. He just had to pray that she will hold herself together when it does. There, unfortunately, was no question of him being there for her.

He looked at the invitation card again. 26th February, 3.00 pm. He would be counting days, hours, minutes and seconds till then!

“And it’s only an engagement,” he told himself, “Things will be all right.”

—

It was five in the evening on 26th February. Subrato was restless. What had happened? He recalled his short, not-so-shocking chat with Stacey last night.

“Hi Subrato. Is it too late there?”

“No. I am very much awake,” he replied. Even if it had been too late, he wasn’t going to get any sleep that night, “Everything all right, Stacey?”

“Yes. I was just wondering. About Aniket… What you had asked about him. What really happened?”

“Hasn’t he left for India?” Subrato asked although it would not be surprising if he hadn’t. What could he be planning to do here anyway?

“Left for India? I saw him in the office cafeteria just a while back.”

“Hmm… Nothing has happened till now. And if he hasn’t left, nothing too bad will happen in future either.”

“Nobody is in trouble, I hope?”

“Nobody will be, I hope!”

“Just… take care of yourself.”

“Thanks Stacey. You have been extremely helpful.”

“And you have been very kind. All the best Subrato.”

“Same to you. Bye.”

It had taken him all his self-control to speak with civility to Stacey. He was in no mood to talk to anyone, much less explain his interest in Aniket to anyone. But despite his past grudges, Stacey had been helpful to him and he owed her for that. If Paridhi was not willing to believe him, it wasn’t Stacey’s fault. Whose fault it was? His own? Possibly. But possibly nobody’s. Paridhi’s strong sense of responsibility towards her mother has made her incapable of doing things for her own well-being. Not even refusing to marry into a cheating, lying, greedy family.

Her care for her family was adorable and annoying at the same time.

Subrato snapped out of his thoughts and looked at the watch again. 5.30! What was he waiting for? News won’t come from thin air. He will have to call her.

His call was picked up pretty quickly, though not instantaneously. “I am taking a train at 7 ‘o clock,” she said without waiting for any greetings. Was it a calmness in her voice? No. It was a chill.

“Paridhi. I…”

“I know that you know what has happened. Let me come and apologize in person.”

“That’s not the point. But you are taking a train this late. What time will it reach?”

“At midnight or so…”

“How will you… I will be at the station…”

“No. You don’t need…”

“Which train?”

“I will be fine.”

“Listen to me for once, will you? Which train?”

“Ganga Gomti,” his complain made her comply.

—

“Hadn’t any of your friends gone from here?” he asked while driving back to the institute from the station.

“I hadn’t told anyone.”

“Hmm…”

“Did you mean to ask why?”

“I don’t mean to do anything to make you feel bad.”

“You can’t do anything to make me feel worse than I am feeling right now. I didn’t invite anyone because I did not want to take the risk of everyone witnessing what finally happened. I accused you of unthinkable things. I was trying not to believe you. But deep down, I was only hoping that my accusations were true. I didn’t believe they were. That is no excuse for how I behaved with you, of course. But… that is a way of apologizing…”

“You know what your biggest problem is? You take too much responsibility on yourself. For everyone’s actions. You don’t need to do that for mine. I didn’t feel great that you didn’t trust me. But I have to be responsible for acting in ways that were bound to make you suspicious. So, stop beating yourself up over it.”

She smiled, but with extreme sadness, “Life is funny. Or may be I am funny. Right now you are the only person I think I have wronged. And you are the only person who doesn’t hold me responsible.”

“Who holds you responsible?”

“Everybody.”

“What exactly happened?”

He noticed tears filling her eyes. They were about to reach campus. She must talk.

“Can we… go to my house?” he asked hesitantly. It was past midnight.

She nodded.

He drove silently until they reached his house.

—

She sat silently on a chair in his living room, while he brought her a cup of hot tea. Until she took a sip, she hadn’t anticipated how much she needed the drink. She finished it silently and he let her do that.

“Thanks!” she finally said.

“I know that Aniket never left US…”

“He didn’t? And you knew this?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Just like I knew other things about him.”

“And how did you know anything about him?”

He sighed, “You remember, I had told you about Stacey? She works in the same company.”

“You called her?” her eyes widened in surprise, “Why… How… I mean… had you been in touch with her?”

“No.”

“Wasn’t it uncomfortable? It must have been…”

“Paridhi…”

“You did it for me?”

“So what?”

“And I…”

“If you once again start lamenting how you were wrong and all that, I swear I will throw you out of my house right now and not talk to you ever again. Do you understand?”

Paridhi smiled through her tears.

“And now you will tell me what happened.”

—

To be continued

Coming Around (Part 11)

Posted Mish7 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Subrato-Paridhi

“Hi Stacey. This is… Subrato.”

“Subrato?” she didn’t know how to respond. They hadn’t spoken in over a year. They had even blocked each other on Facebook to avoid awkwardness. “Hi…” she added after a hesitant pause.

“Don’t be alarmed. It’s nothing about the past. I do need an unrelated favor, however. It is really, really important for me.”

“Anything I can do,” she sounded almost eager. She probably wanted to assuage her guilt about the way she treated him. Right now, Subrato did not mind exploiting it.

“It might be uncomfortable for you, but there is nothing wrong in it. It is really a question of someone’s entire life.”

“Why are you beating around the bush, Subrato?”

“I hope you remember something about the arranged marriage tradition in India I had told you about. There is an Indian guy in your office. He is an engineer, not a designer. But I was hoping you could tell me something about him.”

“What.. can.. I… tell…”

As Subrato had guessed, it was an uncomfortable proposition for her.

“Anything you know. Especially if there is a red flag. Just think if there is any reason why you wouldn’t want your best friend to be engaged to him. His name in Aniket Chauhan…”

“Hold on. Say that name again.”

“Aniket… Aniket Chauhan,” Subrato americanized his pronunciation of the name to help her place him in her memory easily.

“That Indian guy… he is a test engineer if I am not wrong. He had a major accident a few months back. He is the one getting married?”

“Yeah. Why? You sound surprised.”

“I, of course, am… He can’t get married. Not after the accident.”

“What has happened?”

Subrato heard in shock what Stacey told him next.

“Do you… happen to have a photo of him Stacey? Any office photo?” he asked after she was done.

“I do. There was an office party recently. But…”

“It won’t be traced to you. Trust me on this. Please. I need to be sure we are talking about the same guy”

“Okay… Fine…”

—

“Catherine!” Subrato spotted her in the academic area and called her.

“Yes Sir.”

“Where is Paridhi? I haven’t seen her for last one week. She had one of my books…”

Catherine gave a knowing smile. His excuse for asking about Paridhi was rather lame. “She has gone to Allahabad. She wasn’t feeling well.”

“In the middle of the trimester. Just like that?”

“I don’t understand her these days. You can call her about the book.”

“Her phone is switched off. Would you happen to have her home number?”

“I, in fact, do. Tell me your mobile number. I will SMS it to you.”

“Thanks. Please note down…”

—

One full ring had gone unanswered on the landline number Catherine had given him. Feeling hopeless, he still decided to give it another try. It got answered this time. And the voice made his heart skip a beat. It was definitely her.

“Paridhi?” he asked.

“Don’t call me again. I will get in trouble.”

“Meet me once, please. It is very important. I won’t do anything you find inappropriate. But there is something about Aniket you need to know. Please Paridhi….”

The phone was disconnected. He grew more and more agitated. He didn’t know that she was crying at the other end. “I’m sorry,” she was mumbling repeatedly holding the phone close to her heart. She wasn’t angry at him. She was angry at herself.

She couldn’t just throw away her studies like that though. She had to go back. She decided to take the train to Lucknow that afternoon itself. She was in his office before dinner time.

His relief on seeing her was obvious.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I am fine. Aniket is coming for engagement after all. Here is your invitation.”

He took it from her with a trembling hand.

“Do you have a photo of Aniket?”

“Why?” she did not get his drift at all.

“Just humour me. Do you have one? If yes, please show it to me.”

“Mummy had sent me some initially. They should be in my mailbox.”

“Please use the laptop and download them for me.”

She was completely confused, but she humored him as he had asked. He knew the face well by now. He had stared at the photo Stacey had sent for too long. They were of the same person. All, except one, photographs of Aniket that Paridhi had showed only the upper body. The only full-length photograph was obviously old.

“Can you please sit down, Paridhi?”

She obliged.

“I have a photograph of his as well,” he said finally, “which you must look at.” And he handed her a copy.

She was shocked. “What is this… A wheelchair?”

“It’s not just about the wheelchair. His… He had a major accident few months back. It’s the entire lower body…. He shouldn’t get married Paridhi. His parents are playing a big game…”

“Stop!” she almost shouted in anger.

“Paridhi!”

“You are the one playing a game… I respected you so much. I trusted you so much… And this is how… If you had asked me to rebel against my family for you… I might have relented… But this… this dirty, pathetic game… No. You can’t play this with me. I am not an idiot. And I hate you!”

“Paridhi, there is no game.”

“Not a word more. This time… I am not running away from you. I am going to stay in the campus. But don’t you dare come near me or try to talk to me.”

“Please listen to me… This is…”

But she didn’t wait and stormed out of the room.

—

Paridhi threw herself on her bed in the hostel room and buried her face in the pillow. Nothing made any sense to her. She took a look at the photograph of Aniket in a wheelchair that Subrato had handed over to her. It was with a group of people. Possibly in his office. She made to throw the photograph away, but didn’t finally do that. A part of her wanted to throw it away. But another part of her couldn’t suspect Subrato of playing a game the way she had accused him of. But if he was indeed playing a game, wasn’t she herself responsible for it? Didn’t she practically throw herself at him? Wasn’t she already aware of her feelings? Shouldn’t she have stepped back instead of relying on him not getting affected by them? If he was playing a game, she was responsible for it. She was at fault! Always! So, even if she shouted at him, blamed him, accused him, she’d have to ensure that nothing goes wrong from now on. But what was she to do? Aniket and his family were not going to get any better. Her mother won’t start looking at the world in a different way. What would happen to her? To her family whom she was trying so hard to please!

She thrust the photograph in a bag that she’d take with her to Allahabad and tried to concentrate on other things. Not that it was working out for her!

She was at fault! Always!

—

To be continued

Coming Around (Part 10)

Posted Mish7 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Subrato-Paridhi

She came to his office a couple of days later. She knocked and walked in without waiting for his permission. He realized that it had become her habit for quite sometime now. Especially when she was sure nobody else was inside.

“Hi!”

“Hi Paridhi. You had some work?”

“No. I came… Just like that…”

“I thought you would be busy.”

“Why did you think that?”

“Last term. Placements. Then your wedding preparations… When is it anyway?”

She sighed.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I didn’t come to bother you with these things. I just thought… I actually have a lot of time in hand. I am applying only to selected companies for placement. There are only three courses to be done this term. Can I continue the independent study project? Not for credit, of course. Just to keep myself busy.”

“You can, if you want to. But what are you trying to run away from?”

“It’s a daily roller-coaster. They neither leave me out of it, nor do I have any say in it.”

“What happened?”

“Every other day, there seems to be a problem. Sometimes about jewelry, sometimes about dates for engagement and wedding, sometimes about nothing at all…”

“If the families have so much problem, why do they want the wedding?”

“God knows.”

“Probably they enjoy the dance. It is part of the ritual. You shouldn’t bother.”

“How do I not bother? Mummy keeps calling. And when she gives me some respite, Dadi is more than willing to fill the void.”

“Is it worth it, Paridhi?”

“Don’t give me more self-doubts than what I already have.”

“I am sorry. Do you have any specific ideas about the project, you’d like to work on?”

“Not really. You must be working further, right? What was your plan?”

“I was thinking of extending the study to other Indian states of that time. Nizams in Hyderabad, for example. You can pick up one such state to study. We can also do comparisons of the economic policies of different states.”

“Sounds good. Anything to get me started?”

“I will send you an e-mail.”

“Okay. I will see you later.”

He saw her walking out. She looked pale and sickly, her mental agony showing up in her physical condition too. Her gait was listless. The question she had refused to answer kept bugging him. Was it worth it? Will it really make her mother happy? What was the guarantee? And even if it did, for how long? Won’t her unhappiness and disappointment seep back into her mother’s life too? And if it didn’t, if her problems would never bother her mother, was such a mother worth all the sacrifices?

And for some reason, his own old pain came back to fore. It hurt him until he had to ask. Was Stacey worth all the pain and hurt he was carrying? Probably not. He should move on. He wanted to move on. Move on to what? To whom?

—

It was a Saturday evening. She had gone to Allahabad, her home, for the weekend. Her mother wanted her there to help with preparations. And Subrato was pacing up and down his living room thinking constantly about her. Nothing about this impending wedding sounded right. Apart from the short conversation she had with Aniket before the term started, she had not talked to him at all. He was too busy, according to his parents. So, even the wedding could not happen before June. Paridhi’s mother wanted at least the engagement to happen soon, if he could not come for long enough to get the wedding done. The promised dowry money was being given to Aniket’s parents in installments almost every week. When they raised concerns about the expense of his coming to India twice – once for engagement and then again for wedding, her family had gone ahead and offered to pay for his India trip for engagement, in addition to the already absurdly high dowry. He was to come in the last week of February for the engagement. It was already nearing the end of January and hence all the hurry of preparations on Paridhi’s mother part.

Subrato was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of doorbell. It was past seven in the evening. Who would it be at this hour? Definitely not a student. He opened the door still preoccupied with his thoughts of her. It was like a personification of his thoughts. It was her at the door.

“What happened? You came back already?” he asked as he stepped aside to let her in.

She looked like she was just waiting from come inside in the privacy of his house. She started sobbing even before he had closed the door behind them.

“Hey. What’s wrong? Stop crying Paridhi. Talk to me.”

She was about to slump on the floor, when he caught her, “That’s enough. Stop crying. Come here. Sit down.”

“As soon as the money for his tickets was given to them, they changed the plan,” she was able to talk only after a couple of minutes.

“Changed the plan?”

“He is not getting any leaves. So, he will come directly for wedding. Mummy freaked out and…”

“And she blames you.”

Paridhi nodded.

“Don’t listen to her. She is just disturbed.”

“She… And Dadi… They said things I don’t have the heart to repeat.”

“This has to stop Paridhi. This can’t be healthy. You can’t marry this guy. You can’t go to such a greedy family.”

“They have already pocketed at least seven lacs rupees of dowry.”

“Who cares!”

“My family does. They won’t let go. Let’s not talk about that. Please. I… I have to adjust. I just don’t know…”

He held her by her shoulders and pulled her in a gentle hug. She did not resist. “This is not fair,” he mumbled, “You don’t deserve this. Please don’t let them do this to you.” His gentle embrace tightened into an intimate hug effortlessly. From both their sides.

She came to her senses first and pulled herself away. Subrato looked lost for a moment before the realization dawned on him. Damn it! He was no longer just her confidant. He was no longer just an observer in her story. He was a participant in it. Whether he willed it or not.

But before he could gather his thoughts and say anything, he heard her mumble, “This isn’t right. This is disastrous. Do you understand that?”

She didn’t wait for his reply despite asking the question and ran out of there. Subrato helplessly sank into a chair lying nearby.

That night he made the call he had been unable to make up his mind about.

—

To be Continued