Ashutosh had caught viral in the afternoon. He was not around that night when Nidhi was on duty. She felt anxious. Absent-mindedly she walked towards his office. Dr. Rangnath was not in the hospital either. So, she had no interruptions. She went in and touched things in the room. His pen, laptop, the table, that chair… She sat down on his chair and stared at the things in front of her. She opened the drawer and was surprised at what she saw there. A smile formed on her lips.

—

Ashutosh was too old to be under any illusions. He might not have accepted it to himself before Mallika had burst out accusing him of loving Nidhi. But after that he had not even an iota of doubt about his feelings. He was lost in the thoughts sitting in his garden when Armaan came there.

“Tabiyat kaisi hai Ashutoh?” Ashutosh had been in the bed since yesterday. He was bored and seeing that the sun was shining bright, had decided to step out in the garden for a while.

“Abhi teen dinon tak to kaisi hi rahegi Armaan. Tumhein pata hi hai.”

“Phir bahar kyon nikal aaye?”

“Body ke saath saath dimaag bhi beemaar na ho jaye isliye. Andar bore ho raha tha.”

“Hospital aur patients ko miss kar rahe the?”

“Armaan! Tum bhi Dr. Nidhi ki tarah baatein kar rahe ho.”

“Ya Dr. Nidhi ko miss kar rahe the?”

“Kya matlab?”

“Matlab ye mere bhai ki main bhi andhaa nahin hoon. Mujhe dikhta hai ki kaise tumhare hospital jaane ka time Dr. Nidhi ki duty timings se match karta hai, kaise tumhare office mein waqt-bewaqt chai aati rahti hai aur kaise kaam karte samay bhi tum dono ki nazarein ek doosre se hatti nahin hain.”

“Kya kahna chahte ho Armaan?” Ashutosha asked in a tired, defeated voice.

“Ye kahna chahta hoon Ashutoh ki tumhari zindagi mein ek aisi ladki ki zaroorat to tumhare khalipan ko, udaasi ko door kar sake. Aur I don’t think I am wrong in saying that Dr. Nidhi hi woh ladki hain.”

“Taali ek haath se nahin bajti Armaan.”

“Tumne kabhi usse baat ki hai? Jitna maine use dekha hai, woh bhi tumse pyaar karti hai.”

“Armaan. Tumhein pata hai. Aaj kal main ek saath hi kitne alag alag emotions se joojh raha hoon. I am happy, I am scared and I feel guilty.”

“Kya matlab?”

“I am happy Armaan kyonki Nidhi ka aas paas hona mujhe khush rakhta hai. Uski liveliness, innocence mujhe affect karti hai, aur bahut positively affect karti hai. Lekin tum jaante ho Armaan ki main khushiyon se darta hoon. Khushiyon ke chhinne se bahut darta hoon. Aur is case mein sirf apne liye nahin, uske liye bhi darta hoon. Ho sakta hai ki woh mujhe idealize karti ho aaj. Lekin is rishte ka future kya hoga? Woh mujhse bahut chhoti hai. Almost a different generation.”

“Tumse chhoti hai Ashutosh, minor to nahin hai. Naabaalig nahin hai. She is an adult. And if she reciprocates your feelings, there can be nothing wrong in it.”

“Yahin to mujhe guilt mahsoos hota hai Armaan. Do you understand what it means for me to be in love with her? That I am in love with a woman… a girl half my age. Kitni ungliyan uthengi is rishte par? Uske ghar waale kya sochenge? Aur kya woh itni mature hai ki mujhe pyaar kar ke usne apne liye sahi faisla liya hai? Haan Armaan. Main Nidhi se pyaar karta hoon. Aur mujhe sirf andaaza nahin hai, balki pata hai ki woh bhi mujhse pyaar karti hai. Lekin is rishte ka koi future nahin hai Armaan. Koi future nahin hai. Main bas khush hoon ki woh mere aas paas hai. Aur main sirf uski khushi chahta hoon.”

“Aur kal ko use kissi aur ke saath dekh paoge?”

“Agar woh khush rahegi to dekh loonga Armaan. Aakhir pyaar koi len den to nahin hota. Chalo andar chalte hain. Doctor hoon. Sehat ko itna bhi ignore nahin kar sakta.”

They got up from their chairs and turned to go back to the house. But were shocked to see Nidhi standing there with a bouquet in her hands. They all stared at each other awkwardly for a moment. Then Armaan took control.

“Hello Dr. Nidhi.”

“Hello Dr. Armaan. Good morning Sir,” she greeted them both.

“Good morning Dr. Nidhi. Baithiye na. Kaise aana hua?” Ashutosh asked.

“Aap log baatein kijiye. Main zara Amma se apni special chai banwa loon. Woh India mein hi milti hai sahi,” Armaan said and left.

Ashutosh and Nidhi were uncomfortable, but they started talking.

“Sir. Pata chala ki aapki tabiyat kharaab hai. Isliye main dekhne chali aayi. Abhi meri duty ka time nahin hua hai.” she explained hastily so that he shouldn’t think she was shirking her work.

Ashutosh smiled at that, “Baithiye na.”

“Ji.” She gave him the bouquet before sitting down. Ashutosh’ countenance stiffened for a bit, but he relaxed immediately and Nidhi didn’t notice.

“Aap bahut kamzor lag rahe hain,” Nidhi said.

“Khoobsoorti ki tarah shayad kamzori bhi dekhne waalon ki aankhon mein hoti hai,” Ashutosh joked.

“Baatein achchhi bana lete hain aap. Lekin viral mein aapko aise bahar nahin baithna chahiye.”

“Dhoop achchhi nikli thi. Isliye…”

“Dhoop achchhi cheez hoti hai Dr. Ashutosh. Lekin dhoop ke kinare andhere hote hain. Aur thandh hoti hai. Hawa to dhoop mein bhi chalti rahti hai. To viral mein ye bilkul achchhi nahin hoti.”

Ashutosh laughed, “Lagta hai hum yahan baithe rahe to dhoop, hawa aur viral par aapka sermon chalta rahega. Chaliye andar hi baithte hain. Main waise bhi jaane hi waala tha.”

They walked back to his room. Suddenly Nidhi chuckled for no apparent reason.

“Kya hua? Achanak aap itni amused kyon ho gayi?”

“Kuchh nahin. Aapki baat yaad aa gayi jo abhi aapne kahi thi. Kamzori dekhne waalon ki aankhon mein hoti hai. Kitni funny sound karti hai.”

“Bol to maine yun hi diya tha – baat banane ki liye. Lekin sach hai. Jab insaan kissi ki or care ki nazron se dekhta hai to shayad uski taqleefein, uski beemaari, uski kamzori zyada jaldi dikh jati hai.”

Nidhi bit her lips and did not say anything.

“Aapne powder lagaya hua hai, lekin mujhe bhi aapki aankhon ke kaale ghere aur puffiness dikh rahe hain. Soyi nahin hai aap theek se? Chinta ho rahi thi aapko?”

“Ji,” Nidhi said weakly.

“Dr. Nidhi. Maine Dr. Mallika se aapki baatein kal sun li thi aur main isliye aapse baat karna chahta tha, aapko samjhaana chahta tha ki…”

“Kuchh aur mat samjhaane ki koshish kijiyega,” Nidhi interrupted, “Main kal aapke office mein gayi thi. Aadatan. Aur wahan mujhe ye mila.” She showed him a gift-wrapped packet.

“Ye to mere drawer mein tha!” Ashutosh exlaimed.

“Ji. Maine khola tha. Koi aitraaz hai aapko?”

Ashutosh sighed, “Aur aap ye utha kar bhi le aayin?”

“Mere liye birthday gift tha, to meri hi cheez hui na. Aapne nahin di intne dinon tak, to mujhe khud leni padi. Kya hai ismein?”

“Aapki hi cheez hai, to khol kar dekh lijiye.”

Nidhi unpacked it to find the lens she had thought of asking Baba to gift her on her birthday. But she hardly got time to talk to him.

Her eyes widened in surprise, “Aapko yaad tha?”

“Aap bhi to kuchh bhoolti nahin hai? Lekin Dr. Nidhi…”

“Maine bhi Dr. Armaan se aapki baatein sun li hain,” she interrupted him.

Ashutosh sighed again, “I feared that.”

Nidhi was surprised that she didn’t feel nervous. She was feeling rather confident, “Mujhe to dar nahin lagta.”

“Yes Nidhi. You are a brave, young woman. Tumhein dar nahin lagta. Aur main nahin chahta ki khushiyon ko jo dar mujhe satata rahta hai, woh tumhari zindagi mein bhi andhera kar de.”

“Aapke Baba ki woh kya nishaani thi jo aapse chhin gayi thi?” Nidhi changed the topic apparently. But Ashutosh knew she was very much on the topic.

“Dekhna chahti ho?”

“Ji.”

“Theek hai. Tabiyat theek hote hi tumhein dikha doonga.”

Nidhi smiled, “Main chalti hoon. Hospital ka time ho raha hai. You take care.”

“You too Nidhi. Bye.”

—

To be continued