“I will take a taxi,” Rupali told Paritosh after they finished check ups at the orphanage.

“Why, I will drop you.”

“It’s no longer on your way…”

“You can invite me for a cup of tea…”

Rupali had to smile at that, “Of course.”

The decrepit sofa was absent from the hall, and there were a few plastic chairs around.

“I see that you have already started redecorating the place,” Paritosh said as a way of starting the conversation.

“There isn’t much decoration here,” Rupali gave an embarrassed grin, “Just making the place functional. Although, I am fully aware how inappropriate plastic furniture is for a house like this.”

“It’s yours. That is all that matters.”

Radha’s excitement at seeing a visitor was almost embarrassing for Rupali. She brought so much snacks with tea that not only Paritosh, even Rupali stared at it wide-eyed.

“Well,” Rupali spoke to dissolve the awkwardness, “I wouldn’t have known what all I should get. Thank God, Radha is here.”

“And I didn’t know what I was getting in to when I got myself invited for tea,” Paritosh also helped.

They smiled. Radha, however, offered an explanation, “Nobody ever comes here. I am so happy to see Doctor Babu today.” And it made the situation awkward again. Their eyes met and Rupali averted hers.

“Moitras never came to meet you?”

“Kaku is in Darjeeling with Rohan. Kakima probably feels very guilty, and possibly angry. They have called, of course.”

“Aren’t you lonely?”

“Have always been. Being alone has nothing to do with being lonely. You can be lonely even in a huge crowd.”

Paritosh smiled.

“And Dr. Khanna,” Rupali added somberly, “They are not to be blamed for it. They have done as much as they could do for me…”

“Rupali,” Paritosh intervened, mild irritation evident in his tone, “Why do you always assume that I am up in arms against them? I appreciate them as much as you do Rupali. For what they have done for you. And even if I think they could have been careful about Rohan, I don’t blame them for what he is. And I understand how much respect and gratitude you feel towards them. You don’t need to defend them before me.”

“I.. I am…” Rupali was embarrassed.

“Rupali. The only time I disagree with you is when you start holding yourself responsible. Blaming Rohan’s parents might be wrong, but blaming you is even more wrong than that. And that’s it. That’s all I would ever try to convince you of.”

“I am sorry. Please don’t be mad at me,” Rupali said in a small voice.

“Come on, Rupali. I am not mad at you.”

“I… I didn’t realize that I had started sounding like that. I know that you understand. And probably that’s the reason fate has pushed you in between all this. It wanted me to have some support. I am really sorry.”

“You are one difficult woman Rupali. Here I was trying to rid you of one guilt. And you have managed to start feeling another one. For me, this time. Will you stop this?”

Rupali smiled and threw her hands up in the air in resignation.

“That’s better,” Paritosh said with a patronizing smile.

—

“Rupali. So, you got the night duty tonight? Couldn’t go for Dr. Shekhar’s wedding, eh?” Paritosh found Rupali in the common room at night. Most of the doctors were going to attend their colleague’s wedding. So, Paritosh had decided to stay on for the night.

“I volunteered,” Rupali smiled in reply.

“Hmm… And I have noticed that you are volunteering a lot of extra duties these days.”

She just shrugged and continued smiling.

“Is that how you are coping with what happened? Because you aren’t talking much to me. Are you talking to anyone at all?” he asked and was taken by surprise when she giggled at his question.

“That sounds like a boss of mine I know.”

“Excuse me?”

“Being a workaholic to deal with things… loneliness, let’s say. That’s you Dr. Khanna?”

“And not you?”

“I am learning from the best.”

“In that case you are learning the wrong things.”

“Is it? Why do you practice wrong things then?”

Paritosh sighed, “You are difficult.”

“That’s not fair. You brought up the topic. So… Can I ask you something? About you?”

Paritosh looked quizzical, “Shoot.”

“If you don’t want to answer, you can just say so… Please don’t be offended if…”

“Ask the question Rupali. Let me hear it before I decide what do I want to do with it.”

“Why this loneliness?”

“We don’t decide to be lonely, Rupali. Life throws it at us.”

“In that case, a more specific question. Why didn’t you ever get married? That seems to be the ultimate cure for people’s loneliness.”

“Is it?”

“That’s what people say.”

“Hmm…”

“Hmm?”

“What should I tell you?”

“Whatever is the truth… To the extent you are comfortable in sharing it…”

“We have both been orphans, Rupali. But the difference is that… you know where you come from. I don’t…”

“That is… likely to be painful… at least at times… But what does it have to do with…”

“Why do you think Daar ji was so mad at your mother?”

“Because she married against his wishes? Outside the community?”

He nodded, “So, in this society where does someone with no idea whatsoever about his family stand? Nowhere!”

“Surely, not everyone is like Daar ji. And even he changed, didn’t he? Otherwise he would never have adopted you.”

“Right. Daar ji changed… But unfortunately not her father…”

“Whose?”

“Chand. She was the daughter of one of Daar ji’s friends.”

“Oh!”

“We were… well… I thought we were in love. I had heard Daar ji beg him for my… our happiness. But he was adamant. He couldn’t marry his daughter off to someone with a questionable blood line.”

“And she?”

“She wasn’t as headstrong as your mother,” Paritosh smiled sadly.

“I… I am sorry.”

“Thinking rationally, it really is not a big deal, Rupali. Today one can not get under my skin with such things… But we are much more insecure when we are younger. Small, little things can throw us off our game…”

“If you understand that, why didn’t you move on later?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers. Probably some things are not meant to be.”

That seemed to resonate with her, as she nodded her head thoughtfully. “Some things are not meant to be…” she mumbled after him.

“You are learning the wrong thing again?” he spoke with a chuckle drawing her attention back.

“Excuse me?”

“What you need to learn is that when we are young, things affect us much more. We shouldn’t let those experiences dictate our entire life.”

Rupali smiled fondly, “You should be a motivational speaker or something…”

“I am not sure if that is a complement or sarcasm.”

“Complement,” she replied, “Time for me to take another round.”

He felt like joining her, but resisted. He shouldn’t suffocate her by imposing too much. Although he did worry a lot about how she was doing. He proposed something, “After the night duty, could we have breakfast together?”

She appeared surprised at this, but smiled immediately, “Sure. Where?”

“At my home?”

“Okay,” she nodded and left.

—

To be continued