“Baba. Aapko Nana ka naam pata hai?” Nidhi asked Yograj.
“Kyon. Achanak apne Nana ke baare mein kyon poochh rahi ho?”
“Bas aise hi… Kuchh… pata chala…”
“Dr. Ashutosh ne kuchh kaha?”
Nidhi was startled, “Aapko kaise pata?”
“Unka naam Aloknath Mathur tha. Aur Mathur sahab ka naam Lucknow mein bahut famous tha – ab bhi hai. Mujhe andaaza tha ki shayad woh tumhare Nana hi honge. Lekin maine kabhi is baare mein zyada socha nahin. Jab woh apne parivaar ko chhod kar aa gaye the, to phir kya zaroorat thi unki zindagi mein dakhal dene ki. Aur phir kissi ameer insaan se rishta nikaalne ki koshish ko hamesha sandeh ki nazaron se hi dekha jaata hai. Hai na?”
Nidhi nodded and he continued, “Main chehre se nahin pahchaanta tha unhein. Isliye jab hamare ghar ke paas unhein heart attack aaya tha, tab main nahin jaanta tha ki woh kaun hain. Hospital pahunch kar naam pata chala. Lekin un logon ye bhi kaha ki unka parivaar hai. To phir main confuse ho gaya. Mujhe laga ki shayad koi galatfahmi hogi. Bas naam milte hon do logon ke. Ya doosri possibility ye thi ki unhone dubara shaadi kar li ho. Us case mein unse door rahna hi achchha tha. Kissi ke parivaar mein dakhal dena to sahi nahin hota. Lekin jab kuchh dinon pahle tumne bataya ki Dr. Ashutosh adopted hain, to phir main almost sure tha ki ye tumhare Nana hi hain.”
“Aapne mujhe bataya kyon nahin, Baba?”
“Mujhe pata nahin tha ki tum ya Dr. Ashutosh kaise react karenge. Tumhari professional life mein koi problem na ho – isliye maine kuchh kaha nahin.”
“Dr. Ashutosh bata rahe the ki woh… Nani ke gahne mere liye chhod kar gaye hain. Unhone dikhaye bhi.”
“Sach?” Yograj was surprised, “Maine suna to tha ki tumhari Nani ne unhein apne gahne diye the. Aur woh use lekar jo gaye, phir wapas nahin aaye.”
“Phir itne saalon baad kyon? Dr. Ashutosh ye bhi bata rahe the ki jis din unhein heart attack aaya tha woh humse hi milne aa rahe the.”
“Zindagi ke antim palon mein insaan ko apna achchha bura, sab yaad aata hai beta. Ho sakta hai un dinon unhein guilt mahsoos hua ho, ki apne parivaar ko woh yun chhod kar aa gaye, kabhi sahara nahin diya, apni beti ki to shakal bhi nahin dekhi. Aur uski bharpai ke liye…”
“Dr. Nidhi,” they were interrupted by Armaan’s voice.
“Dr. Armaan, please aaiye,” Nidhi said and Armaan and Ashutosh walked in. Armaan asked after Yograj’s health and left after a while. Ashutosh, Yograj and Nidhi were left behind with Ashutosh and Nidhi struggling to start a conversation.
“Lo bhai,” Yograj spoke finally, “Guzre hue kal ka ek connection nikal aaya to tumhara rishta aur majboot hona chahiye tha. Lekin tum log to aise behave kar rahe ho jaise ajnabi ban gaye ho.”
“Ajnabi to nahin Mr. Verma, lekin gunahgaar zaroor ban gaya hoon,” Ashutosh replied.
“Nahin Dr. Ashutosh. Aisa nahin karte. Hum sab apne hisse ki zindagi jeete hain. Jin cheezon par hamara wash nahi hota, unko lekar guilt mahsoos karna sahi nahin hai. Ab Mathur sahab ne apni zindagi jee hi kuchh is tarah ki hamare beech ajeeb se haalaat paida ho gaye hain. Lekin unmein burai dekhne ki jagah achchha dekhte hain ab. Nidhi ki Nani ne unke liye kabhi shikayat nahin rakhi apne man mein. To phir hum log kyon rakhein. Humme se kissi ko parivaar ki kami nahin hui hai. Aur aapke hone se main to Mathur sahab ke liye bhi khush hoon. Ki unhein apni zindagi akele nahin kaatni padi. Kyon Nidhi? Tum to badgumaan nahin ho apne Nana se?”
“Nahin Baba. Main kaise ho sakti hoon? Aakhir unke sapne hi ne to mujhe doctor banaya hai? Aur shayad Dr. Ashutosh ko bhi.”
Ashutosh smiled sadly and nodded, “Lekin main chahta hoon ki Nidhi ko uska haq mile…”
“Nahin Sir,” Nidhi objected, “Please ise complicate mat kijiye. Main apni zindagi se khush hoon aur aise hi jeena chahti hoon.”
“Baaki sab chhodo. Lekin woh zevar tumhein lene padenge. Abhi unhein bech kar hi Mr. Verma ki problem ka solution ho sakta hai…”
“Zevar bech kar?” Yograj looked uncomfortable.
“Kya hua Baba?” Nidhi asked.
“Beta. Woh tumhari Nani ke zevar hain. Aise kaise bech sakte hain. Zevar rahne do. Main dekhta hoon. Kuchh intezaam ho jayega.”
“Aap mujhe bech dein,” Ashutosh interrupted, “Main inhein sambhaal ke rakhoonga – mera vaada hai. Please iske liye mana mat kijiyega. Please… Warna main kabhi khud ko maaf nahin kar paunga.”
Yograj and Nidhi looked at each other. Then he nodded. Nidhi smiled weakly, “Aap hamesha apne man ki kar hi lete hain Dr. Ashutosh.”
—
“Aapne mujhe bulaya, Sir?”
“Yes. Dr. Nidhi. Ye aapko dena tha,” he gave her a white envelope.
“Kya hai ismein,” the envelope was not sealed and Nidhi immediately took its content out. It was a cheque in her name. She didn’t look at the amount and asked him, “Ye kya hai?”
“Well. Maine aapke zevar khareede the…”
“Aap pahle hi apne lawyer ke through paise company ko de chuke hain.”
“Woh sirf 80,000 the Dr. Nidhi. In zevar ki market value…”
“Sir. Please. Aapne jitna kiya hai…”
“That’s not fair Dr. Nidhi. Woh zevar aapke the. Main aap par koi ahsaan nahin kar raha…”
“To phir jo aapne mere Mumbai jaane par jo kharcha kiya tha…”
“Come on Dr. Nidhi. Ek to mujhe pata nahin ki aapko ye baat kisne batayi. Aur agar bata bhi di, to woh maine aapko kuchh bataye bina kiya tha. Jo cheez aapne khud borrow nahin ki, use lautaane ki zimmedaari aapki kaise hui?”
“Main aapse bahas nahin kar sakti, Sir. Aur na hi aapko ya aapke intention ki insult karna chahti hoon. Please aap bhi meri baat samjhein aur mujhe itni mushkil situation mein mat daalein.”
“Mujhe pata hai ki aap bahut khuddar hain. Apni Dadi ki poti hain. Lekin kya apne Nana ki aap koi nahin hain?”
“Mujhe unse koi shikayat nahin hai Dr. Ashutosh. Jab Nani ko aur Mummy ko nahin thi, to mujhe kyon ho? Lekin ye bhi sach hai ki jab woh Nani ke aur Mummy ke nahin hue, to mere kaise ho sakte hain? Unhone unke liye, aur mere liye bas sapne chhode the, unhein poora karne ka sahara nahin. Woh sapne maine poore kar liye hain… I think so… Usse zyada kuchh accept karna mere liye mushkil hai. Unfortunately kismat ne jhatka hi aisa diya ki main ye nahin kah sakti ki maine unka sahara nahin liya. Lekin aur nahin… Aur waaise bhi main ye aapki madad maanti hoon, unki nahin.”
“Kya apne Nana se ye aapki jo ye berukhi hai, woh mere liye bhi hai?”
The question startled Nidhi, “Aap kaisi baatein kar rahe hai Dr. Ashutosh? Aapse mujhe koi shikayat, koi berukhi kyon hogi? Aap… aapne to hamesha mera bhala hi kiya hai, mere liye achchha hi socha hai, meri madad hi ki hai… Achcha. Agar aapko koi shaq hai to main aapse waada karti hoon ki agar sach much zaroorat padi, agar bhagwaan na kare lekin Baba ya Dadi ki tabiyat kharaab hui, to main definitely uske liye aapse ye paise le loongi.”
“Aur apne liye?”
She smiled, “Meri fikr karne ke liye Baba hain na. Itne dinon tak unhone hi to sab kuchh kiya hai. Aage bhi kar lenge.”
Ashutosh was annoyed with himself for the situation he was in with Nidhi. If he had done this in time, if he had taken the jewelry to her right when he had found out about Baba’s intention, she might not have refused it. But at this stage, her self-respect was not letting her do it. Even the small amount he had paid on her behalf to her father’s employers, she probably considered it a debt to be repaid to him. And he could not blame her for behaving the way she was behaving. He himself was to be blamed. Baba would be so disappointed in him.
And with or without Baba! If there was one person he would have wanted to have that jewelry, that money, it was her. She did not deserve all the trouble, all the hardships she had faced and was facing. If only he had that relationship with her, that right over her, with which he could have forced her to accept it, with which he could tell her that everything he owned was hers too… But no! He had no rights. No rights at all…
—
As a part of the feasibility study for Armaan’s project, Ashutosh and Nidhi were driving to her village. They were to do a survey of the health facilities available in the village, common medical problems that people suffered from and what were the local remedies availble. Armaan had recommended going to her village, as with her Dadi’s influence, it will be easier to get the cooperation of the villagers. Armaan had gone to some other villages with other volunteers.
“Ek baat poochhoon, Sir. Aap bura to nahin maanenge.”
“Poochhiye Dr. Nidhi.”
“Aap ye mat samajhiyega ki main aapse koi shikayat kar rahi hoon, ya aapko blame kar rahi hoon. Bas ye sawaal mujhe aksar kuredta hai. Agar Nana aapko kah kar gaye the, aur aapke lawyer ko hamara pata maaloom tha to aapne kabhi humse milne ki koshish kyon nahin ki.”
Ashutosh sighed and spoke after a moment of silence, “Achchha hua jo aapne poochh liya. Main khud bhi batane ke liye, apni safai dene ke liye betaab tha, lekin…”
“Main koi safai nahin maang rahi aapse. Agar aapko aisa lagta hai to rahne dijiye…”
“Nahin. Nahin Dr. Nidhi. Aapke oopar mujhe koi shaq nahin hai. Main achchhi tarah se jaanta hoon ki aap kabhi kissi se koi shikayat nahin rakhti, kissi se naaraaz nahin rahti. Apni kismat se ladti rahti hain, bina shikayat kiye. Aur main aapki ye quality bahut admire karta hoon. Unfortunately, main aisa nahin tha. Kissi ka gunaah saabit ho jaane par bhi aap shikayat nahin karti. Aur maine bina sach jaanne ki koshish kiye hue hi aap logon ko gunahgaar maan liya tha.”
“Kya matlab?”
“Mujhe jab Mr. Kapoor ne bataya ki Baba ki koi aur family thi, to mujhe bahut gussa aaya. Shayad jealousy sahi word hai. Mujhe laga ki jaate-jaate Baba ka pyaar bant gaya tha. Aur phir unhone bataya ki heart attack waale din woh un logon se milne gaye the, to maine bas ye maan liya ki unke kuchh karne ya kahne se hi Baba ki tabiyat kharaab hui hogi. Mujhe nahin pata tha ki…”
“Ki woh humse mil bhi nahin paaye. At least waise nahin, jaise milna chahte the.”
“Yes.”
“Lekin ab aapko nahin lagta ki aapko ateet ki nafratein bhula deni chahiye.”
“Ab maine kaun si nafrat paal rakhi hai? If at all, main bahut guilty hoon…”
“Hamare liye nahin Dr. Ashutosh. Apni zindagi ke liye.”
“Kya matlab?”
“Sab log ek jaise nahin hote. Sab log itne bure bhi nahin hote. Mumbai mein mujhe nahin pata tha, lekin ab mujhe pata hai ki Dr. Asthana se aap itne naaraaz kyon lag rahe the. Lekin us naaraazgi ki wajah se poori zindagi akele rahne ka faisla to sahi nahin hai. Aur log hain jo aapki care karte hain…”
“Achchha. Kaun?” Ashutosh asked amusedly.
“Dr. Mallika, for example. Unhein aapki bahut fikr rahti hai.”
“Come on Dr. Nidhi. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Ismein ridiculous kya hai. Aap dono itne purane friends bhi hain.”
“Aapko Niharika ki baat aur mere adopted hone ki baat Mallika ne batayi thi?”
“Woh jisne bhi batayi ho, main uska naam aapko nahin bata rahi. Aapko kissi ke oopar bhadakne ka mauka nahin dena chahti.”
“Itna bhadakta hoon kya main?”
“Aur kya? Jab pahli baar aapne mere saamne Namrata ko daanta tha, to mere to hosh hi ud gaye the. Mujhe laga ki agar aap aise mujhe daantenge to mujhe to heart attack hi aa jayega.”
Ashutosh laughed out loud, “Yeah. Mujhe yaad hai aapki shakal. Aisa lag raha tha kissi ne poora khoon choos liya ho.”
Ashutosh had changed the subject and Nidhi realized that. But she didn’t have the courage to start the topic again. He, obviously, did not want to talk about it. He had been a saviour for her, but probably did not think of her as someone he could share his problems with. As someone so junior, she could not cross her lines.
—
To be continued