Note on the OS

Another look at how Maan and Geet reunite after Geet has left Khurana Mansion and come to Amritsar.

—

She was wandering around aimlessly near the Golden Temple. What was left in her life now? There was nothing to live for. The baby was gone. The one man who had taught her how to live with self-respect, the one man she had thought would trust her beyond anything had trashed her self-respect. What was she to do with her life? Live for herself? That was something she hadn’t learned to do. She had never done it in the past. When she had left her family, it was still for the sake of the baby. When the baby was gone, she still had Maan in her life. Who was she to live for now?

It was possible that Maan didn’t really mean what he had said. He was just angry. One of his uncontrolled bursts. Yet, how could he say those horrid things to her? Could she forgive him if he apologized? Should she give him a chance? No! Not again. She will not show her weakness, not even to him. If she could not live for herself, if life became meaningless, she would rather end her life than forgive that insult. He had always promised that he would control his anger, but he never did. And now she would not take it any longer. So what if she would remember him every living moment of her life; So what if her life could have no meaning without him! She would not go back to him. She would not forgive him.

It was an open area with some trees here and there. People were sitting under the trees. Some were praying, some chatting with their family members and friends. She looked at the group close to her. It was a group of wandering Sanyasis – both men and women were there. They were discussing something. Many people who looked like they did not belong to the group were also sitting there listening to their discussion devotedly. For Geet, going somehere else was as good as spending some time with this group. What did anything matter anyway? She walked towards the group and sat with others in the audience.

One Sadhu, who looked elder than most others in the group, was explaining, “Insaan duniya mein jo bhi karta hai, khush rahne ke liye karta hai. Jiski samajh mein khushi jismein hai, woh wahi paane ki koshish karta hai. Logon ko lagta hai ki paise mein khushi hai, parivaar mein khushi hai – isliye paise kamane mein jaan laga dete hain, shaadi karte hain, bachche paida karte hain. Lekin ek na ek din sabko ye ehsaas hota hai ki sachchi khushi in sab cheezon se nahin mil sakti. Sachchi khushi insaan ko pyaar se milti hai. Main us pyaar ki baat nahin kar raha, jo hum apni suvidha ke liye karte hain ya samaaj ke bandhanon mein karte hain. Balki Woh pyaar jismein kisi cheez ki ichchha nahin hoti, koi shart nahin hoti. Woh pyaar jismein pyaar karne waala aapko waise sweekaar karta hai jaise aap hain. Woh pyaar jismein kissi ko kuchh sabit karne ki zaroorat nahin hoti. Lekin aisa pyaar is duniya mein nahin milta. Aisa pyaar insaan nahin kar sakte. Jeevan ki bhaag-daud mein pis kar hum jinse pyaar karte hain, unki bhi khaamiyan dekhne lagte hain. Unhein apne tareeke se dhaalne ki koshish karte hain. Unse kuchh pana chahte hain. Ismein kissi ki koi galti nahin hai. Jeevan hai hi kuchh aisa. Isliye ek na ek din sabko us pyaar ki khoj mein oopar waale ki or dekhna padta hai. Bas wahi hai jo hamein hamari saari khamiyon ke saath, saari galtiyon ke saath bhi apna sakta hai. Bas uski sharan mein jaane ki zaroorat hai.”

Something struck Geet very hard on hearing this. She was unable to gather her thoughts coherently; so she felt the urge to be alone and think it over. She got up, left the group and kept walking until she found herself alone, away from people, even though they were strangers and would not have disturbed her. She sat on a bench nearby. She remembered the accident they had while returning from Shimla. The one which had taken Maan to his death-bed. The thought made her tremble. And it had happened only because of her childish demand. Wanting to drive the car on the highway. When he was out of danger after the accident, she had asked him feeling horribly guilty, “Main aapko bahut pareshaan karti hoon na?” And what was his reply? “Thoda, thoda. Par Geet, achchha lagta hai.”

Yes – that’s what he had said. Even after they had taken him so close to the death, he loved her antics, her childish stubbornness. He entertained them, even when they were against his basic nature. He not only accepted her faults, he not only loved her despite them, he loved her even for them. Could she not at least accept one fault of his – his anger? One fault of the man who had always supported her, who had been her strength when she was weak, who had been her mentor when she was lost, who had saved her when she was helpless, who had loved her unconditionally, who had gone against even his own family for her sake, whose anger was also only due to his concern for her well-being. That Sadhu was wrong. Humans can love like that. At least her Maan could. No! Only Maan could. And she was the woman who he loved like that. She had found that ultimate love on this earth itself. She had to look nowhere else. Fate had been too kind to her. It might have happened in the disguise of miseries, but fate had treated her like its favourite child. Fate had given her Maan. How could she be stupid enough to leave him?

She stood up. She would learn to love him not only for his strengths, but also for his faults. She might not be able to reach that level of unconditional love that he had, but she could at least make a beginning. She could accept his faults and not let it come between them. She could learn to ignore anything he said in anger.

She rushed towards the temple. She had to get her Babaji’s blessings before she started her journey back. Back to Maan. Back to her love, her life, her world! She had just entered the prayer area, when she saw him. His tall figure kneeling on the floor, his head covered with a white handkerchief, his eyes closed, his entire being lost in prayer. The man who did not believe in God, but had started believing because of her. She was overwhelmed and could not look away from him. She also kneeled down, but she was not facing the shrine. She was facing him. She hadn’t closed her eyes, she was looking at him with tear-filled eyes. There were no questions in her heart, nor surprises in her mind at seeing him there. She was not thinking at all, she was only drinking his presence to her content.

He opened his eyes, got up, turned to leave and suddenly saw her, still kneeling on the floor and looking at him unwaveringly. He was taken by surprise. His movements brought her out of her trance. For some reason, hordes of doubts flooded her mind. Why was she assuming that he was there for her? He did not even know she was in Amritsar. How did she know he did not really mean what he had said and he still trusted and respected her like earlier? She became unsure. She was scared of her weakness for him. What if he wasn’t even thinking about her and she broke down. Should she go away? She silently asked Babaji to give her the strength to turn away.

But before she could turn away, she noticed his eyes. They were filled with tears now. There was that hardly discernible smile on his lips and his face showed a gratitude towards Babaji for listening to his prayers immediately. He walked towards her, as if he was in a trance. When he came close to her he lifted his hands to touch her, to hold her hands in his. But he stopped. The guilt came back to haunt him and he wasn’t sure she would allow him to touch her. He was about to take his hand back, when she held it. In a split second, the expression on his face changed from disappointment to grateful happiness. He put his other hand also on top of hers and led her away.

She did not look back to even offer thanks to Babaji. But somewhere the Creator was smiling looking at His two favourite children, walking together happily.

—

Maan stopped the jeep somewhere on the outskirts of the city. They hadn’t spoken a word since they met at the Golden temple. He got down from the jeep and Geet followed his lead. He walked around the jeep to come in front of her.

“Geet! Pichhle do dinon se main bhagwaan se bas ek hi prarthna kar raha tha ki bas ek baar tumse mila dein. Mujhe poora bharosa tha ki tum ek baar mere saamne aa jaogi to main kissi bhi tarah tumhein mana loonga, tumse maafi maang loonga. Lekin ab…” he paused before continuing, “Ab jab tum mere saamne ho to mujhe kuchh samajh mein nahin aa raha hai ki kya boloon, kaise boloon. Mujhe to pata bhi nahin Geet ki mujhe maafi maangne ka haq hai ya nahin. Lekin Geet, main bheekh to maang sakta hoon na tumse, apni zindagi ki, apni…”

Geet stopped him from speaking further by covering his mouth with her hand, “Maafi to mujhe maangni chahiye Maan. Maine to khud ko aapko saump diya hai na? Aapke saath jeene-marne ki kasmein khayi hain? Mujh par to aapka haq hai. To aapko mujhe kissi se, mujhse bhi maangne ki kya zaroorat hai? Mujhe koi haq nahin tha aapko chhod kar chale aane ka…”

“Geet,” Maan interrupted before she could apologize, “To tum mujhse naaraaz nahin ho?”

“Bilkul nahin. Mujhe pahle hi naraaz nahin hona chahiye tha. Mujhe to pata hai na ki aapko gusse mein koi hosh nahin rahta. To gusse mein kahi gayi baaton ko mujhe dil par lena hi nahin chahiye tha. I am sorry.”

Maan didn’t know how to express his happiness. He pulled her in a tight hug and she reciprocated. He could not stop a few drops of tears that filled his eyes. Even though they were tears of happiness, he did not want to alarm her. So, he wiped them off before breaking the hug and looking at her adoringly.

He spoke after few seconds, “Geet. Main khud ko badalne ki poori koshish karoonga. Waada karta hoon.”

“Maan! Gussa kisi ke liye bhi achchha nahin hota. Isliye main ye chahungi ki aap itna gussa karna band kar dein. Lekin mujhe ye bhi ehsaas ho gaya hai ki ek rishte mein hum kissi ki har chhoti-moti khaami ko lekar naraaz nahin hote rah sakte. Isliye agar aap gussa karenge bhi to main aapse kabhi naraaz nahin houngi. Ye mera waada hai.”

The way Geet was talking actually took Maan by surprise. He smiled as he tried to tease her, “Kya baat hai Geet? Do hi dinon mein meri bholi si Mishti itni samajhdaari ki baatein karne lagi hain?”

“Kya karoon? Jab aapke paas hoti hoon to aap apne pyaar se mujhe bigaad dete hain. Do din alag rahi to akal thikane aa gayi.”

At the mention of her having been alone for two days, all the worries of last two days came back to Maan, “Geet! Tum do dinon se akeli thi. Tum theek to ho na Geet? Tumhein kissi ne pareshaan to nahin kiya? Kahan ruki thi tum? Tumhare paas paise the?”

“Maan,” Geet stopped his non-stop questioning, “Main bilkul theek hoon. Mujhe kuchh nahin hua hai. Sach mein. Dekhiye main aapke saamne hoon. Aap please shaant ho jaiye.”

Maan was overwhelmed by his protective instincts and not knowing what to do he pulled her in a hug again, caressing her all over, as if trying to convince himself that she was indeed there and he had not been dreaming all this while.

“Maan. Maine bahut pareshaan kar diya na aapko in do dinon mein?” Geet spoke while still in the hug.

“Geet. Tumhein mere saath rah kar mujhe jitna pareshaan karna ho karo. Bas aise door mat jaya karo Geet. Meri saansein ruk jaati hain.”

“I am sorry Maan. I am really sorry. Main ab kabhi aisi harqatein nahin karoongi. Kabhi aise pareshaan nahin karoongi.”

Maan broke the hug and looked at her. Her guilt was visible on her face. He couldn’t see her like this. He thought for a second and said, “Mujhe meri bigdi hui, nakchadhi Geet bahut achchhi lagti hai. Bahut zyada samajhdaar mat ho jaana Geet, warna mujhe pareshaan karna waala koi hoga hi nahin. Phir to zindagi ekdum boring ho jayegi.”

Geet could see what he was trying to do and she couldn’t help smiling. She hit him slightly on the shoulder and he smiled too.

She changed the topic of the conversation, “Waise Maan hum yahan, is sunsaan jagah par kyon aaye hain?”

“Woh – kuchh nahin Geet. Woh to main waise hi drive karta gaya. Hum chalte hain, kissi hotel mein check in kar lenge.” Maan’s face and hesitant tone made it clear that he was hiding something. But before Geet could quiz him, drops of water started falling on them. They looked up instinctively. It had started drizzling. It was unexected as neither the season, nor the weather could have justified the rains then. It seemed like water had come to seal their bond again. They looked at each other and smiled.

But Maan soon got worried that Geet will fall ill, “Geet. Bheeg gayi to beemaar pad jaogi. Chalo andar chalte hain.”

“Andar? Yahan kahan andar jayenge? Chaliye achcha hai aapke paas car bhi nahin hai. Ab to aapko mere saath baarish ka mazaa lena hi hoga.”

“Geet,” he smiled arrogantly and almost dragged her from there. After walking a few meters, they came near a tent.

“Oh! To ye baat hai. Mujhe pata tha ki aap kuchh to chhipa rahe the. Ye bataiye ki aapko har shahar mein camping karne ke liye ye akeli, sunsaan jagahein kahan se mil jati hain?”

“Geet. Jab tum nahin hoti ho to mujhe akelepan ko dhoondhna nahin padta. Woh khud hi mere paas aa jata hai. Lekin ab tum aa gayi ho, to iski koi zaroorat nahin hai. Hum kissi achche se hotel mein check in kar lenge. Lekin abhi andar chalo. Baarish mein bheegna theek nahin hai.”

“Nahin. Main bhi dekhna chahti hoon ki aapki camping mein aisa kya mazaa aata hai. Hum kam-se-kam ek din to yahin rahenge. Lekin hum andar baarish mein bheegne ke baad hi jayenge.”

The drizzle was slowly converting into the rain and Maan got worried, “Geet! Chup chap andar chalo warna main tumhein zabardasti le jaunga.”

“Achchha? To pahle mujhe pakad ke dikhaiye?” saying this Geet ran away from there.

“Geet! Tum Maan Singh Khurana ko challenge kar rahi ho. Haar jaogi. Behtar hoga ki meri baat maan lo aur andar chalo.”

“Aap to challenge shuru hone se pahle hi dar gaye,” Geet provoked him.

Maan knew what she was doing, but he played along because he enjoyed her innocent games too. He started chasing her. But in that open area it was indeed more difficult to catch her than he had imagined. He couldn’t corner her against a wall or somthing. He had his athelatic body, but she was also light on her feet. She was giving him a hard time with her agile movements. He realized that he could not win this with mere power. He needed to be strategic. So, finally he made a movement from which she thought he was going to his right towards her. So, she changed her direction. But he moved opposite to what she had guessed and in a split second he was close enough to her to grab her hand. He pulled her hard towards himself and she fell into his embrace.

Both of them were drenched in rain by that time and the closeness made them very aware of each other’s bodies. Geet’s face was very close to his chest, Maan could feel the warm air every time she breathed out. Maan tightened his grip around her and one of his hands wandered to her nape, which he caressed roughly. Then he grabbed her hair with the same hand and pushed her face away from his chest. He looked at her face with water dripping from all over. She looked so vulnerable and desirable that he felt an uncontrollable desire surge within him. He had to take a deep breath and consciously tell himself that he needs to be slow and gentle. In the heat of his passion and urgency of his needs, he should not end up hurting or frightening Geet.

Her eyes were open initially, but she couldn’t survive the intensity of his gaze for long and soon closed them. The rain had stopped by this time. His lips moved towards her eyes and drank in the drops of water on her eyelids and eye lashes. Geet gulped hard when his lips touched her skin. Maan repeated the same gesture with the tip of her nose, her chin, her cheeks and her forehead, each time kissing her and licking her while ostensibly just drinking the drops of water. Her heavy breathing, trembling hands and increasingly unstable body were enough to tell him how much he was affecting her and how she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. But he must still be careful and gentle, he reminded himself. Irrespective of how aroused she was, hers was a young, timid and vulnerable body. She may not be able to withstand the passion of the animal roaring inside him at the moment.

He looked around and saw a tree close to where they were standing. He led her to the tree and made her lean against the tree. This gave her some support and now he could use his hands for more important things. He took out the rubber band from her hair and brought her hair in front of her over her left shoulder. He held her hair his right hand and went on his knees. Geet looked at him with curiosity. He turned his face up with eyes closed and squeezed the water out of her hair on his face. He drank whatever went into his mouth with such movements of his lips as if he was having the tastiest drink of the world. Geet smiled, overwhelmed by his feelings for her. This strange gesture of his had a difficult-to-find mix of love, desire, lust, adoration and devotion. She silently thanked her Babaji, an overdue thanks from when she had found him in the temple and wondered what was so great in her that this gem of a man loved her to death like this.

When he got up, he found her looking at him with love, gratitude and happiness in her eyes. She hugged him once again and he reciprocated as usual.

He broke the hug first and said in his usual seductive voice, “Geet. Bahut badi pareshaani mein daal diya hai tumne mujhe.”

Geet asked hesitantly, pausing after each word, “Ab.. maine kya… kiya hai?”

“Tumhein kuchh karne ki zaroorat hi kahan hai Geet? Tumhara yahan hona hi kaafi hai. Dekho na, meri aankhein chahti hain ki main tumhein dekhta rahoon, aur mera dil chahta hai ki tumhein baahon mein le loon. Ab main inmein se kiski sunoon?”

Geet blushed heavily, “To aap apni aankhon ki hi suniye.”

“Isse to insaaf nahin hoga Geet. Ye aankhein hi to dil ki gunehgaar hain. Inhone hi to dil ko itna majboor bana diya hai. Inhein to apne kiya ki sazaa milni hi chahiye. Waise tum mujhe ye kyon nahin batati ki tumhara dil kya chahta hai? Sach sach batana Geet?”

Geet felt shy and turned away before she replied, “Kya farq padta hai? Hoga to wahi jo aap chahte hain.”

Maan smiled and caressed her shoulders with his hands. Her hair was already over her left shoulder, leaving the right side of her neck bare, except for the barrier created by her dupatta clinging around the base of her neck. He got rid her dupatta by slipping it off her right shoulder and planted a passionate kiss there. Geet bit her lower lips and leaned on the tree to steady herself.

Maan’s words sent another sensation through her body, “Achchha? Aur tum mujhe rokogi bhi nahin aisa kuchh bhi karne se jo main chahta hoon. Hain na Geet?”

He obviously was not looking for an answer from her. It was just his style of telling her that he was going to have his way. So, she kept silent and waited for his next move. Maan took off her dupatta completely and acting on a urge smelled it deeply. Geet saw him doing this over her shoulders as she was still facing away from him. There was something very erotic about this act of his and they both felt the effect on their bodies. He hung her dupatta on a branch of the tree, which was low enough to be easily accessible.

Then he turned his attention to her body again. He noticed, not for the first time, how her drenched clothes had become almost transparent and were clinging to her shapely body. He felt the urge to rip them off immediately, but he again reminded himself to be gentle and slow. He started undoing the buttons of her kurti at the back.

“Maan,” Geet interrupted him for the first time.

“Kya hua Geet?” Maan asked without stopping what he was doing.

“Hum bahar hain. Koi aa jayega.”

“Kal se ek parinda bhi nahin aaya yahan Geet. Mujh par bharosa hai na?”

Geet did not resist even once after this and just nodded. She knew how possessive and protective he was of her. He would never put her in any embarrassing situation. She trusted his words blindly.

He was done with the buttons and moved towards her shoulders to slip the kurti off. But suddenly a sense of lack of privacy stopped him. He had convinced Geet a few moments ago and he knew for sure that they were completely by themselves. And yet – he was an extremely private person. This, in particular, was their own sacred moment. It deserved a more guarded place. He looked at her, her eyes closed, lips quivering, body trembling and face showing immense contentment and happiness – ready to submit to him. This woman deserved more protection from him. He took her dupatta off from the tree and covered her back with it. She opened her eyes, startled and turned to look at him.

“Andar chalo Geet.” He put her arms around her shoulders and took her inside the tent. She was confused but comfortable.

Suddenly Maan asked her in a matter of fact tone, “Geet! Tumhare paas change karne ke liye kapde to honge nahin?”

Geet replied, unsure, not knowing where this question suddenly came from, “Nahin. Mera saamaan to us dharmshala mein hai jahan main ruki thi. Par kyon?”

He changed his tone to the seductive one, “Tumhare kapde geele ho gaye hain na, utarne padenge. To achchha hi hai.” He wrapped his arms around her wet body. She felt too shy at his naughty remark to even smile properly. She gave a slight, nervous smile and started looking down.

What pleasure did he derive by embarrassing her like this? He must be a sadist. But deep down she knew she enjoyed this naughty side of his. It made her feel wanted as a woman.

He removed her dupatta and let it fall on the floor this time. They were in their own private space now. Slowly he underssed her and himself, before taking her to the make shift bed made with a plain bedhseet over a layer of hay. Due to the rains, she was feeling cold. He used a blanket lying there. But soon she was hot and sweaty naturally, as he worked on quenching the thirst which was troubling his body and his heart for several months now. He was nowhere close to being done. This was just the beginning of the fulfillment of his desires. But as he lied besides her sleeping form, he was content with the journey he saw ahead of them.

– The End –