“Can’t you do your graduation from an open college?” Paritosh asked Rupali one evening.

She hesitated. If she told him of her constraints and problems, he might offer to help again. “I can, I guess,” she replied in a non-committed fashion.

“You never get enough time?” he prodded, leaving her with no option but to admit.

“Yes.”

“If you could leave your job at pharmacy… How much do you make there?”

“No! No Dr. Khanna. I can’t take another penny from you now. There is already…”

“Look at it in another way. I can pay for Soumitra’s and Sugata’s studies while you finish your college. Think of it as student loan. They can repay me when they start earning.”

“Please don’t embarrass me Dr. Khanna. I can’t do that. Please!”

He sighed in disappointment. But he had promised her that he wouldn’t do anything without telling her. If she was so adamant, he would have to back off. “Fine! But if you change your mind, let me know.”

“Okay.”

—

“Dr. Khanna.” Soumitra found Paritosh alone on the Saturday afternoon. Rupali and Meenal were taking a nap. Sugata was studying.

“Soumitra. Come in. What’s up?” A part of the room had mattresses laid out on the floor. He was sitting on one of them, resting his back against the wall and reading a book.

“Can I talk to you for couple of minutes?”

“Sure. Tell me.”

“I never apologized to you…”

“Apologized? For what?”

“What I had said about you, and Didi…”

“Oh! It’s okay, Soumitra. You were worried about your sister. You don’t need to apologize.”

“Didi thinks it was an absurd idea. I think, she meant it was offensive.”

“What was offensive? To whom?”

He chuckled nervously, “The idea that you would want to marry her… Offensive to you?”

Paritosh frowned. “Offensive? To me?” he mumbled more to himself than to Soumitra. Then he looked up at him, “Why don’t you sit down, Soumitra? Let’s talk about whatever you have in your mind.”

He sat down opposite him on the mattress and said after a pause, “I don’t know if I am doing the right thing, Dr. Khanna. By talking to you. Can you promise not to tell Didi? And not to let it affect her job… I am doing something that might potentially embarrass her.”

“Relax Soumitra. We are together on that point. I won’t do anything to increase her troubles. Now tell me, what is it that you really want to ask?”

“That day, when I was ranting about Didi giving so much time to Meenal and you… you had said that you weren’t so selfish that you would saddle her with Meenal’s responsibility for life. Was that your only objection? If you were not worried about it potentially being unfair to her, would you propose to her? Would you marry her?”

Despite having anticipated, where this was going, the direct question unnerved him for a while. Then he smiled, “Between ‘would I propose her?’ and ‘would I marry her?’ you forgot to ask the most important question. Would she say ‘yes’? And if she doesn’t, what would it mean for her, for Meenal, for me, for you and Sugata? What we have here is a comfortable, even if not ideal, arrangement. Once I say something, things must move forward, together or apart. It won’t be possible for us to return to this. Do you understand that?”

“You are only talking about her not agreeing. What about you? Wouldn’t it bother you that she is not well-educated, she is poor…”

“You think those are my objections?”

“She thinks so…”

“You have spoken to her?” Paritosh was suddenly more alert to the conversation.

“Sort of. After listing out all her shortcomings, she did not let me discuss it any further though.”

“She didn’t say anything about Meenal? Or about me?”

“No.”

“What does it mean Soumitra?” he could feel his heart-beats increasing.

“I can’t say Dr. Khanna. Why don’t you ask her? I think she loves Meenal too much to leave her just like that. If it came to the point of going forward apart, she would hate me as much as you will… I think so…”

“And how about you? And Sugata?”

He chuckled, “She isn’t going to leave us behind. For anything. So, it’s not for us to worry. It’s for you to think through. We come in a package, unfortunately. That is another shortcoming of hers that anyone associated with her has to live with. I should get going now. I have a test to study for as well.”

“Hmm…” Paritosh had withdrawn into some world of his own. He was no longer paying any attention to Soumitra. Soumitra smiled and noiselessly left the room.

—

“Dr. Khanna… Meenal…” Rupali was out of breath, and probably of mind, as she barged into the room later in the afternoon. She spotted Meenal with him and sighed in relief. “I woke up and didn’t find her.”

“Relax,” he smiled at her, “She was awake when I walked by her room. She was going to wake you up. I brought her away so that you could sleep for a while longer.”

She was still panting. “I will check on milk for her…”

“She had it already. Rupali, why don’t you come and sit down with us?”

There was something extremely intimate about the idea of sitting with him in his bedroom. She had noticed the mattresses on the floor earlier. Did he like sitting on the floor? She walked in slowly and sat across him.

He leaned forward a little as he spoke, “You got so worried for her?”

“I was sleepy. And it just didn’t occur to me that you were around and could have taken her.”

“What did you think?”

“I wasn’t thinking anything. I was scared to death.”

He fell silent.

“What happened?” she asked anxiously when he didn’t continue the conversation.

“You have too many worries to take care of alone, don’t you?”

“Why… are you… saying that?” she frowned slightly.

“How does it feel? Caring so much for someone?”

“What kind of a question is that?” she chuckled nervously, “And why are you asking me that? You know very well.”

“And do you know how does it feel to care for someone, but not being able to do anything for them? Because you have no right to.”

Rupali did not know where this was going. She stared at him, while clutching hard at the mattress.

“There are things I want to be different; things that are within my means. And yet – I can’t have them the way I want. Because I have no rights over you.”

“Dr. Khanna!” she could barely speak and gulped hard.

“I would like you to leave that draining, awfully timed pharmacy job; I would like you to go to college, to have you build your career the way you would have dreamt before… But you say no to my support. And I have to back off. I can’t insist; I can’t impose. I have no rights,” he grew agitated.

“Dr. Khanna. Please stop.” She was extremely nervous now. Was he offended? Did she have to make some amends again? Can’t her life remain uneventful for a while? Can’t she feel secure in her position even for a few days?

“I have gone too far to stop. I want some rights over you, Rupali. I want to be able to dictate some things. ”

“I don’t understand,” she was extremely scared. It was making no sense.

“You don’t understand? You are anyway not going to get rid of Meenal’s responsibility. I don’t want you to be just a mother-figure to her. I want you to be her mother.”

Rupali jerked in surprise.

“I want you to marry me.” There! He had managed to say it. He waited with his anxieties soaring high.

Her throat went dry. She looked away. This wasn’t happening, was it? It was impossible. She wasn’t worthy of him.

“You are not in your right mind,” she mumbled after a pause, “Do you realize what you are saying?”

“Why is it so difficult to believe?”

Instead of replying, she got up and ran away from there.

“Damn it!” Paritosh cursed under his breath. Had he screwed it all up? He turned to his daughter, “Meenu will stay here, okay? Don’t go anywhere.”

“Meenu will stay here,” she repeated. Paritosh got up and rushed out to find Rupali. He could not immediately locate her. After searching in the various rooms and the lawn, he went to the swimming pool.  She was leaning against a pole there and was crying unhindered. He looked around. Nobody was there.

Did she disagree with his proposal and was worrying about her job again? That was very likely.

“Rupali,” he approached her, “Stop crying please. What are you worried about? You don’t want it? Just say so. Nothing has changed. Nothing at all. I am the same Paritosh… Dr. Khanna you have always known. Just tell me you don’t want it and we will forget I ever said anything. I repeat, Rupali. Nothing has changed.”

She had stopped crying by then. She wiped her tears. “How can nothing change?”

He was doomed! Everything was going to fall apart. He had to pull it back together. He tried desperately, “Of course, it can. Just forget I said anything…”

“You are not letting me talk,” she complained.

“Yeah… Right…” he grew embarrassed at his abrupt attempts to set things right. “Please… talk…” he added foolishly.

“Why me?”

“Why you?” he was incredulous at her question, “Didn’t I almost give a speech a while back?”

“Because you want rights over me? To set my life right?”

“What?”

“Is this another way of helping me? Because otherwise I don’t let you?”

“What the hell, Rupali? What do you think? You aren’t the only one who works for me. I don’t go around doing this to help people…”

“You want to marry an uneducated, broke girl who survives on what you pay her?”

“Education and money can be acquired, Rupali. But strength of character and kindness of heart? They are another matter. They just have to be there. And who will value those more than me? I love you, you idiot! How do I make you believe this?”

Her eyes became moist again.

“Why are you crying again?” he was out of his wits, “You don’t believe me?”

“I believe you. You said it. I believe you.”

“I said what? Oh!” she was looking for those three words. The practical breadwinner and provider of the family had a romantic girl in her too! That was reassuring. The responsibilities and struggles of life had not killed her youthful dreams. He smiled feeling hopeful, “I can say it a thousand times, if you need to hear it.”

“No. I believe you. But will you believe me…” she choked.

“Believe you on what?”

“That I am madly in love you. And it’s not about your money.”

He held her shoulders and chuckled softly, “You have refused money too many times to let me depend on my money to win you, Rupali. I was relying on your feelings. I am glad I was right.”

A broad grin broke on her lips even as she looked down. She felt like laughing, and jumping. Impossible had happened to her. Nothing could go wrong with her life any longer. But she was too shy to react with that much exuberance. She just let herself relax as he put his arms around her and drew her in a close, tight hug. They no longer had to feel awkward about doing that!

– The End –