“Your inputs were fantastic in the discussion, Aditya,” Sunidhi recalled the first time they had gone to the book reading session. A lengthy discussion had ensued on a character of the novel and she had been impressed with Aditya during the discussion.
“You don’t have to act the encouraging mentor outside the office too!” Aditya was dismissive about the complement.
“I truly mean it.”
“Thanks.”
“And anyway, now the training period is almost over. Like a good parent I am all set to let my babies go and treat them as friends and adults from now on,” Sunidhi said and laughed.
Aditya also smiled, “You have been a good mentor, Sunidhi. I will remember this time all my life.”
“Thank you. What are you doing for lunch?”
“Nothing planned. How about you?”
“Same here. Shall we go to some restaurant?”
“A good deed needs no permission. What’s your favourite cuisine?”
“I really like Italian. And yours?”
“I don’t mind Italian either. Let’s go to Sapori D’ Italia.”
“Okay. But what is your favourite cuisine was my question?”
“I like Chinese. But right now we’ll go for Italian.”
“Okay.”
They drove to the restaurant in Sunidhi’s car. When they parked and got out of the car, she spoke hesitantly, “Aditya – one thing…”
“Yeah?”
“You shouldn’t insist on paying the bill. We must split it.”
“Ah! Okay.”
“I hope you didn’t mind my being upfront about the bill. In past there have been awkward situations once the bill comes. And then – sometimes just to avoid making a scene, I have to give in. So, I thought I will take precaution beforehand,” Sunidhi said when they were seated.
“Don’t worry, Sunidhi,” Aditya smiled assuredly, “I expected this from you and I respect you for how you are.”
“But you don’t agree to it?”
“I absolutely agree to it.”
“But you look awkward.”
“It’s not because you are wrong or that I don’t agree with you. It’s because women like you are in minority. Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. I hope you would agree that most women don’t think like you. And if I don’t offer to pay the bill, they will take offence. They will think of me as… mannerless? Do you agree?”
“As much as I hate to, I do agree,” Sunidhi replied with a sigh.
“So overall, to be on the safe side, I’d like to fight for paying the bill. But since I know you now, I know that I can and should do the right thing i.e. split the bill. If you were with someone else, irrespective of what they think, they would try to do what is socially more acceptable. Because they don’t know how you think. Do I make any sense?”
“Unfortunately, you do.”
“Hey. I am sorry. Looks like I spoiled your mood.”
“Oh no! You just said the right thing.”
“But you look sad.”
Sunidhi did not reply, just shook her head. The slight smile on her lips was sad.
“You can tell me, Sunidhi.”
“I feel like a moron sometimes. Most people find it too difficult to adjust to me. I’m too rigid, they say. Perhaps I am. But what am I to do if the acceptable standards are not right?”
“Nothing. Why should you do anything? Just be what you are and don’t feel bad about it.”
Sunidhi smiled, “Thank you, Aditya. You have been very nice.”
“My pleasure. Let’s order now. I am really hungry.”
They had started hanging out together. That’s how Rupali and Aditya got introduced. Sunidhi was the only friend Rupali had in the city. So, she often joined them.
Despite everything, Aditya’s strange reaction to the kids kept popping up and it bothered Sunidhi to no end.
“Stop honking like that, Aditya,” Sunidhi had to shout to get Aditya’s attention. She was tired; so Aditya was driving her car that day. They were waiting on a red signal when Aditya had started honking incessantly.
He seemed to come out of a trance when he heard her voice. He looked at her, and spoke incoherently, “The kids… on the carrier of the bicycle… he was playing with them…”
“What are you talking about?” Sunidhi asked looking concern.
Aditya regained his composure, “Sorry. I got distracted.”
“It was something about the kids again? What is the problem, Aditya?”
“Nothing. Look the signal is green now. Let’s go. You need to sleep.”
And then the mystery had deepened a few days back. She had to fill up the feedback form for her mentees as the training period was coming to an end. She picked up the files she had received from the HR. As she turned through the pages, she realized that she had gotten some confidential papers by mistake. She shouldn’t be looking at them, but she couldn’t help looking at Aditya’s. And she was surprised as she came across his papers related to tax exemptions. He had several donations to the charities and all of them… worked for children.
Meanwhile, her own feelings for Aditya were making her restless. She shared it with Rupali.
“I don’t know what others would think about it, Rupali, but I think I am in love with him.”
“What is there to think about? Talk to him. From all you have told me, and from whatever I have seen of him, he also seems to like you.”
“I think he is hesitant. May be because he is younger?”
“If that is so, you should know about it. But it would be idiotic on his part to let that become an issue if he likes you. Talk to him.”
Sunidhi hadn’t disagreed. She had told Rupali almost everything but nothing about his mysterious attitude towards the kids. She, still, did decide to talk to him.
“I have cooked today. Do you mind coming home for lunch?” she asked Aditya after coming out of the book club meeting the next Saturday.
“What came upon you? Why have you cooked?”
“It hasn’t turned out that bad, Aditya. You can try.”
“I didn’t mean that at all. Let’s go to your home.”
“That was good,” Aditya complemented her after they finished the lunch, “You undermine your culinary skills when you say you can’t cook well.”
“Thanks. That’s really sweet of you. But I know where I stand. I just didn’t feel like eating outside today.”
“Good for me. Feel like that more often.”
They chatted about the book club discussion, office and the upcoming transfers for a while before Sunidhi came to what she really wanted to discuss.
“Aditya. There is something I have been meaning to ask you. I don’t know if I have the right, but I still want to.”
“Why are you beating around the bush? I thought we were beyond such formalities after all these days.”
“Yeah. But… It’s not like I know everything about you,” Sunidhi had smiled weakly.
“Most of the things in our lives are so useless that they are not worth knowing about. What do you want to know?”
“Aditya, what is this love-hate relationship you have with kids?”
“What?”
“You always behave as if you can’t tolerate kids and are so uncomfortable, almost angry around them. But you donate to charities that work for kids. What’s the deal?”
Aditya stiffened, “How do you know about the donations?”
“How does it matter?”
“It’s not important anyway.”
“It is. It affects you. That much I can see. And if it affects you, how can it not be important?”
“Let it go, Sunidhi.”
Sunidhi felt his unwillingness and was disappointed, “Aditya – just wanted to clarify that I didn’t unnecessarily want to poke nose in your affairs. It’s just that–”
“I know, I know, Sunidhi that you asked because you care. But–”
“You can’t confide in me?”
“Your care and concern are wasted on me. I am not the person who deserves this.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t explain that.”
“Aditya – you can be straight forward and tell me that you don’t want me interfering; or that you don’t trust me–”
“If that was true, I would have told you. But it’s not about you. You are the most wonderful girl I have ever met, Sunidhi. I only want happiness for you. So, let me be. You cannot find happiness with me. Nobody can. I am sorry. Try to forgive me.”
He had left her house immediately, while she had looked on helplessly.
She had made couple of other attempts to talk to Aditya, but all of them had been as useless. And then she had met Rupali at her mother’s birthday party. After the party was over and Sunidhi had sobered down, Rupali had told her about Dr. Khanna’s observation. Was it indeed about him, then? And not about her. But why? How?
—
To be continued