Another meeting of the research group was to take place during the winter break. Paritosh reached college a little early and thought of grabbing something to eat from the canteen. He looked for Rupali in her office, but it was locked. She would not have come yet, he reasoned, and walked towards the canteen. But he saw Rohan and Rupali sitting there together. He came back without getting anything, and without being noticed by them.

They finalized a paper to be sent to a top-tier History journal during the meeting. She came to his office afterwards.

“Rupali. How are you doing?”

“I am managing. I was hoping you would come home with me today.  Mom was asking about you.”

“Okay. You go ahead. I will come in my car.”

“I have sent mine back with the driver.”

He smiled, “Give me five minutes. I will finish some e-mails and then we can leave.”

—

Paritosh sat with Mouli while Rupali changed and freshened up.

“Thank you for coming, Paritosh.”

“Come on, Mrs. Banerjee. It’s my pleasure.”

“Listening to an old, dying woman’s rant can’t be a pleasure, but you cope bravely.”

“You are being unfair.”

Mouli smiled apologetically, “I guess so. I am sorry. How are you doing, Paritosh?”

“I am fine. Everything is going on as usual.”

“That’s good,” she said and fell silent. It was unlike her. Mouli could hold a conversation quite naturally.

“Something is bothering you. What is it?”

“Not me. Rupa. She never recovered after her accident. I mean, emotionally. Something is bothering her. And now that she knows about my condition, she perhaps doesn’t want to share it with me.”

“Why do you think so?” he asked.

“Under ordinary circumstances, I wouldn’t have divulged her personal issues to you, Paritosh. But I am growing desperate about her. And you are the only friend she has who is mature enough to help her.”

“Don’t worry about that, Mrs. Banerjee. I can keep secrets. But what is worrying you?”

“I don’t know if I can explain. A mother knows. She has never been so distant from me. Not even when she was so far away in the US. But since the accident, I have found her to be so aloof. I have often seen her crying alone.”

“Did you ask her?”

“She dismisses my concerns. She says it is all a figment of my imagination.”

“Hmm…”

“I don’t know what I expect you to do, Paritosh. Just… keep an eye… If there is something at work.”

Paritosh nodded to assure her, but he wasn’t feeling quite confident. How will he find out if something was bothering her? He had himself found her behavior since the accident strange. Then there had been that weird outburst, with inexplicable complaints. Then crying in the car! Without any apparent reason. Since then she hadn’t been as rude to him. She was definitely sad though. He could have explained the sadness with her worry about her mother. But before she had come to know about it? Was it the accident? Or was it something else? And whatever it was, could it still be bothering her? And then there was the issue of her mother’s health? Poor girl! How much he would have liked to sort things out for her. But how to do that?

—

“Oye, hoye,” Sunidhi grinned, “Wasn’t I a good fortune-teller? You had this huge crush on him, didn’t you?” Rupali had finally decided to confide in her best friend. But her leg-pulling wasn’t helping her.

“Sunidhi please,” she pleaded miserably and her eyes became moist. Sunidhi turned serious on seeing that.

“Hey. Rupali. What’s wrong?”

“Everything is wrong, Sunidhi. It’s killing me. It is not easy to have him around all the time at work. To top that Mom is so fond of him that she keeps calling him home. And I am painfully aware all the time of how hopeless this feeling is.”

“You have given up before trying. Talk to him once.”

“I can’t, Sunidhi. I am so scared of how he will react. He treats me like a–” she was about to say child, but stopped remembering how vehemently he had told her that he didn’t see her like that, “like a young student to be corrected, guided, taught. He doesn’t think of me like–”

“I will repeat. You won’t know without talking to him.”

“Truth is that as painful as it is to have him around, I am more scared of losing even that. Mom’s situation is not helping.”

“Rupali. Darling, you are too overwhelmed. Come here. Let me give you a hug. Don’t try to sort it all out in one go. Give it time. Give him time too. Stranger things have happened in the world.”

“Thanks! Anyway, enough about me. How is it going with Aditya?”

“He says he is feeling better. I think so too.”

“That’s great.”

“I know you want to ask about us. I don’t know, Rupali. He still doesn’t seem to be ready.”

“What can I say?” Rupali smiled sadly, “Give it time?”

“Yeah,” Sunidhi also nodded with a wry smile.

—

Rupali wondered if accompanying her mother for her chemotherapy treatment hadn’t been a very bad idea. Everything about it depressed her. Especially how her mother looked. Her strong mother! So helpless and weak before death and disease. If it had been diagnosed earlier, things could have been different. Thinking of that only added to the misery Rupali felt.

Mouli had protested. She didn’t want her to go. But how could she have left her mother alone? She had to go. And she will go again, whenever needed. She would have to find a way to cope with it. Why was she so weak?

—

The door to her office was shut, but not locked. Paritosh could see the light inside. He decided to check on her. It was nine in the evening. There was no reason for her to be working so hard so early in the semester.  He knocked on the door, and on hearing no reply, opened it slowly. Her head was buried in her arms resting on the table. Was she asleep?

“Rupali,” he called her name gently to avoid startling her in her sleep. She looked up.  Paritosh frowned on seeing her condition. Her eyes were bloodshot.

“What has happened?” he asked cautiously.

“Nothing!” she grinned and her voice slurred. She was drunk. He couldn’t have been more shocked to find someone dead there! How could she be so irresponsible? She was in her office.

“You are drunk?”

She continued grinning and said, “Not at all.” She tried to get up to prove her point and stumbled. Paritosh banged the door shut and ran to her. He reached in time to prevent her from falling. But what was he to do next? If he took her out of the department building and someone saw her in this state, it won’t bode well for her career.  She hadn’t exactly made powerful friends in the institute, especially after that fateful faculty meeting. People resented her because she seemed to be well on her way to win the challenge. Why did she do this? Her mother’s worries were not misplaced.

She passed out on her chair after a while. He decided to take the chance then. He supported her half-sleeping form and took her out of the building. Nobody other than security guard noticed them. And to avoid any scandals, he casually dropped an explanation to the guard, “Dr. Banerjee is unwell. I am going to drop her home.”

By the time they reached her home, he was unable to resent her for what she had done. Pity and sadness were the only feelings he had. Why had things gone so wrong for her? Someone with so much potential, so many possibilities in life…

“Rupali. We are home,” he gently nudged her.

She opened her eyes with difficulty, but looked at him with such piercing emotions that he found it difficult to meet her gaze. “Why? Why do you take care of me, Dr. Khanna?” she asked.

“Why do you do this to yourself?”

“It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. Things weren’t supposed to go wrong. Everything was supposed to be all right after I came back.”

“Rupali!”

“Mom wasn’t supposed to fall ill. You weren’t supposed to come back into my life.”

“Me? Am I a problem for you?”

“Yes. The biggest problem.”

“Why?” Paritosh got the shock of his life.

“Because you have made me fall in love with you. And I don’t know… I don’t know what to do…” her voice trailed. She had drifted into her alcohol-induced stupor again. Paritosh stared at her, stunned. When did that happen? How? Why?

—

To be continued