But the biggest problem of the evening was yet to be faced. Mouli! How would she react to seeing her daughter in this condition? His prayers were not answered. Mouli was still awake and as expected was hurt and alarmed. At first, she thought Rupali was ill and panicked.

“No. Mrs. Banerjee. No need to call the doctor. She is just… drunk,” Paritosh informed her hesitatingly, “Where is her room?”

“Upstairs. No… That would difficult. Let’s take her to the guest room on this floor itself,” she managed to think practically.

“I’m sorry,” he turned to Mouli and said, “I didn’t realize when she did this. I was supposed to look out for her.”

“What could you have done? I… I shouldn’t have taken her with me today… But… she could do better than this…”

“Mrs. Banerjee. I think I know now what is troubling her more than your illness. And I promise you that I will do whatever it takes to fix it.”

“What is it, Paritosh?”

“You needn’t bother. Good night, Mrs. Banerjee. She would be all right by morning.”

—

Rupali couldn’t at first understand why she was feeling groggy early in the morning. For a moment the memories of the accident came back to her and she panicked. But then she recognized the room, and finally her mother, sitting on a chair near her bed. She was reading something.

“Mom!” she barely managed to speak.

She could easily discern concern and pain in her mother’s eyes when she looked at her. “You are awake? I think you need this.” She got up and picked up a glass of lemonade from the table.

“Mom… I…”

“Drink it first.”

She did as told.

“Why Rupa?” the two words were more than enough to express her disappointment.

“Mom… I am… I am so sorry…” Rupali’s guilt matched Mouli’s pain.

“You have always made me proud, Rupa. You have been an achiever all your life. You can’t become a loser now, my child. You can’t let me down like this. Can you imagine how I felt when Paritosh brought you home last night? He is your boss, a friend – yes, but not your chaperon.”

“Dr. Khanna?”

“Yes. And thank God for that. Else I don’t know what could have happened.”

The conversation of the last evening came back to her in flashes. Oh God! What had she done? Had she really…. Or was it a dream… Let it be the latter, God! Frustrated, Rupali buried her head in her hands.

Mouli assumed that she was embarrassed, although not quite realizing the extent of her embarrassment.

“You must apologize to him, Rupa.”

Rupali nodded. What would she apologize to him for? For loving him?

—

Paritosh could not sleep that night. Memories didn’t let him.

He was passing through the noisy college grounds, hardly taking notice of what was going on around him, when he heard a name that always caught his attention.

“Oh my God! Stop Rupali. Please stop,” a girl was in splits and her words were punctuated by the sound of laughter, “I will die if I laugh anymore.”

Her companion, none other than Rupali Banerjee, was herself behaving as if possessed by something. She was laughing so hard that she could not keep her balance and fell to her knees without caring about her jeans collecting dust.

“You actually did that? You threw the cockroach in the staff room?” the first girl asked incredulously.

“I couldn’t help it when I saw Dr. D’Souza sitting there with her huge lunch box. She had been such a bitch in the class and I knew she was scared of cockroaches. What I didn’t know was that the entire staff is a bunch of cowards. They were all running helter-skelter, men and women alike!”

“I saw that. It was so funny,” she got into another fit of laughter as she recalled whatever she had seen, “But you are crazy, Rupali. What if someone saw you?”

“Even if they did, they should be too embarrassed about their reaction to really say anything to me,” Rupali was confident.

Paritosh suddenly became conscious that he may be observed by someone, foolishly grinning at the girls’ antics. Perhaps he should go to the staff room instead and enjoy the commotion she had created, while it still lasted. He shook his head smiling and walked away.

Yet another day… He was the faculty representative in the committee that was organizing the inter-college debate competition.

“Of course, the lavish marriages of the politicians and the rich people are a good thing for the society. At least this way, some of the money they are hoarding flows back into the economy, to the cooks and the decorators and others involved in the preparation of those lavish weddings….”

There was something so convincing in how she spoke that it made people forget the logic. You just felt like agreeing to everything she said. At least it happened to him, he thought and smiled. No! Not just him. It must have happened to the judges too. She was declared the winner. She was prancing happily towards the stage to collect her prize… that broad smile… that confident body language… she probably thought she could conquer the world.

Paritosh came back to the present. It had been a while since he had seen her like that. She was a changed person since she had come back; perhaps the result of her bad experiences in the US. But since her accident it had been worse.  And one of the reasons had been him. What had she said? “Because you have made me fall in love with you.”  He had thought that he was now old and mature enough to keep a lid on his emotions? Had he been over-confident? Had he betrayed his feelings?

—

His contemplation continued even in his office. He didn’t have a class to teach that day. His chain of thoughts was broken only when the knock came at his door. He instinctively knew it was her. He took a deep breath, calming himself down, before giving permission. “Come in.”

“Good morning, Dr. Khanna,” a visibly uncomfortable Rupali walked in.

“Please sit down, Rupali. And can you shut the door for a while?”

She did a instructed and took a visitor’s chair.

“Are you feeling fine?”

She nodded. “I’m sorry about–”

“No.” he interrupted and spoke a measured voice, “I’m sorry. It seems I have created too many troubles in your life at a time when you needed them the least.”

“It’s not like that, Dr. Khanna.”

“Tell me, Rupali. What did I do wrong? Did I do something that led you to believe that I…” he did not complete his sentence. He did not want to say those words, even in a sentence that didn’t mean them.

“No. Never,” she replied.

“Be honest. Because if I did something, I made a grave mistake. I misled you and…”

“No. You didn’t. Never. I can’t believe I behaved like that. It wasn’t something I should have ever said.”

“It isn’t something you should feel. You are too young, Rupali. You have been my student. I am too old for you. It is wrong. This is not how things work.” Paritosh wondered if he was being more emphatic than needed. He just had to convince her, not himself. He already knew…

Rupali bit her lips and did not respond to what he said directly, “I shouldn’t have been drunk like that. Not in the office. That’s where everything went wrong.  I made a mistake, Dr. Khanna. Not you. I am sorry. If there is any punishment that would undo the harm, I am ready to take it. Responsibility is mine, and mine only,” she choked on her words. Not wanting to break down before him, she got up and ran away. Paritosh stood up almost meaning to stop her. But he didn’t do that. He just looked on sadly as she disappeared from his sight.

—

To be continued