“Rupali. This will change things for you. Your feelings and your decision about me may change. And I will respect that. But trust me; I had no intention of keeping you in dark. I just thought you knew.”

“What is it?”

“I’m indeed married. And my wife is in a mental health facility for more than eight years now.”

“Mental health facility?”

“Yes. And I have tried my best to be good to her. To take care of her. I intend to do so in future too.”

Rupali did not say anything. All of this was too much to digest. Paritosh explained further, “I had accepted my fate. I did not hope, did not wish for any happiness in my life. Except whenever you came in my life.”

“Whenever?”

“Yes. Whenever. Nine years ago, as a student. Then again, six months ago, as a colleague.”

“Nine years ago, you…”

“Yes. I know it sounds so… inappropriate. And…”

“You disliked me so much back then. You almost hated me.”

“I never hated or disliked you, Rupali. I had to work hard to pretend to ignore you. And… But that’s not important right now. You know my situation now. I am married, not yet divorced. Didn’t feel the need to go through with this motion earlier. Amrit, my wife, has no hope of recovering ever. She is getting worse day by day. In fact, it was when her condition got impossible for me to manage that I had to admit her to the facility. I don’t have the heart to tell you all the details now. You can read your mother’s case study. But all said and done, Rupali, this is my life. It is not clean, not pleasant. And you don’t have to accept it. I’m sorry that it came up so late. All I have to say in my defense that I genuinely believed that you knew.”

“Mom knows everything?”

“Yes.”

“And why is it that both of you know everything and I have to discover it on my own – much later. I hate you!” Rupali said and stormed off.

Paritosh looked after her, sad and disappointed. He realized that in a very twisted way, this news had brought back the pain that she had felt when she got to know about her mother’s illness.

Mouli came in soon after Rupali left, “What happened, Paritosh?”

“She is angry that I did not tell her. And justly so.”

“Don’t give up on her, Paritosh. She will come around.”

“I have hurt her. Yet again.”

“I’m sorry. This time it is my fault too. The confusion was between us, and it ended up hurting her. But that doesn’t mean she should hurt herself even more by not letting her anger go.”

Rupali walked back in right then.

“Mom? What’s going on?”

“Rupa,” Mouli turned to her daughter and spoke emphatically, “I can explain to you what had happened and why you didn’t know about all of this earlier. But there is an alternative. And the alternative is that you let Paritosh explain the same thing and put your trust in him. If today, I need to step in to build that trust, this man standing here may never ever feel confident of your trust in him. So, you have to choose now. Do you want to listen to him and trust him? Or would you have me explain and lose that chance of building that trust forever?”

“Mrs. Banerjee. Please don’t put her on the spot like this,” Paritosh intervened, when he saw Rupali looking stunned at her mother’s reaction.

“No, Paritosh. She has to be put on the spot. This is one moment where she has to take the responsibility. If she chooses right, I think you can take her responsibility for the rest of her life. But this moment in hers. I know I messed up. But not to that extent that she has to spoil her life. Tell me, Rupa.”

“Mom please!” Seeing her mother getting worked up made Rupali too anxious to respond coherently.

Against his wish, Paritosh intervened again, “She will talk to me. Won’t you Rupali? Please.” His eyes pleaded with him to say ‘yes’.

“Yes. Yes Mom. I will talk to him. Please calm down.”

“Rupali, take her back to her room. She needs rest,” Paritosh said.

“No. Both of you stay here. I can manage,” Mouli said and left them alone once again.

Rupali and Paritosh waited until she had left. Then they looked at each other.

“Rupali. Will you talk to me?” he asked sincerely.

“I just said I will.”

“I made you say that,” he smiled weakly, “Mrs. Banerjee was getting so worked up. But Rupali. How much ever we talk, things are not going to change. I am burdened with my past, and scarred by it. You don’t need to be a part of it. And you have possibilities… options….”

Tears filled up in her eyes, “You think Rohan and I…”

“He is a great guy.”

“Sure. For someone else. Not for me. And I have told him that.”

“Rupali! You shouldn’t… needn’t limit yourself because of me… Fact is that I had often wondered earlier too.”

“Earlier too? I… What did I do to–”

“I am not blaming you, Rupali. There is nothing wrong if–”

“But you are, Dr. Khanna; you are blaming me. I am not interested in him. And I am not going around looking for options. I rejected him this afternoon, even when I was convinced that I could have no future with you. What will it take for you to trust me? That was not the reason I behaved the way I did. I am truly embarrassed that I treated you like that without talking to you. But it wasn’t because of–” she choked on her words.

“I am sorry,” he came close to her and held her hands, “Seeing you so distant, I felt incredibly insecure. And the lens of insecurity turns the meaning of everything upside down. Every little thing, him knowing you since childhood, same university, the general camaraderie between the two of you, innocent things became meaningful for me. Don’t take it to heart, Rupali. I misinterpreted your behavior because I didn’t know what was causing it.”

“I know. I had come back to apologize, Dr. Khanna. And to talk to you. But seeing Mom like that had me terrified.”

“Come here. Sit down,” Paritosh said and then explained the source of the misunderstanding. He told her about him meeting Mouli for her research. How he assumed that she would have told Rupali. But she, on her part, had exercised discretion and had not told Rupali anything because he wanted to keep the matter away from his colleagues.

“I’m sorry. I should have talked to you,” Rupali said finally.

“Don’t blame yourself. It was a big misunderstanding. I should not have assumed things. Now can we both forget about it and forgive each other? Can you still accept me?”

“Don’t embarrass me with such questions, Dr. Khanna. And don’t be so humble, please. I will probably tell you someday what exactly it means to me. But today, I don’t have powerful enough words to express myself. So, just accept my acceptance as it is.”

“I absolutely accept you and everything about you as it is.”

“But tell me honestly. You had lied about… about liking me even earlier. I mean nine years ago? You really hated me then.”

His genuine reply surprised her, “Back then, I tried hard to hide my real feelings. So, if you did not come to know about them, I would think I was successful there. But hate you? Impossible! Why me, who can ever hate you?”

“You have forgotten all about it then.”

“I haven’t forgotten a single thing about you.”

“We will see about that. But for now, let’s go and see Mom. She was so worked up. She needs to be calmed down.”

“Okay.”

—

To be continued