The girl was three-year old, Nidhi was informed. Badly bruised with a limp in her left leg, howling in pain. Nidhi fruitlessly tried to calm her down so that she could administer her a pain killer, and then start a diagnosis.

“Kya hua?” Ashutosh came in along with the nurse who had gone to call him.”

“Buri tarah se injured hai Sir. Pain killer legi tabhi kuchh shaant hogi aur tabhi diagnosis ho payegi. Lekin injection dene hi nahin de rahi hai.”

“Sister. Aap please patient ko hold kijiye. Zabardasti karni pade to koi baat nahin. Injection dena hi hoga.”

“Zabardasti karni zaroori hai kya?” Nidhi’s face contorted as if she could feel the little girl’s pain herself.

“Dr. Nidhi. Bachchi bahut chhoti hai. Ise samjhaana mushkil hai ki iske liye kya achchha hai aur kya bura. Zabardasti nahin ki to aise hi pain mein rahegi. Sister, please hold her. Here. Dr. Nidhi. Injection dijiye please.”

Nidhi obeyed him and administered injection to the girl, whose howling got only worse. But soon the strong pain killer showed its effect and she grew calmer.

“Ab kya karna hai?” Ashutosh wanted Nidhi to take control.

“Bruises par dawaa lagani hai. Pairon mein fracture hai clearly. X-ray karwana padega. Par jaisi condition hai, aur bhi injuries ho sakti hain. To baaki body parts ka bhi check up…”

“Right. Ye sab karwaiye aur accordingly treat kijiye.”

“Orthopedics ki zaroorat hogi…”

“Main phone kar deta hoon. Dr. Dutta honge. Aap unki help le lijiye. Koi complication ho to mujhe bula lijiye. Otherwise jab sab control mein aa jaye to mujhe report kijiye. Main apne office mein hoon.”

“Yes Sir.”

—

Nidhi had reverted to not knocking before entering his office.

“Baitho Nidhi.”

“Pairon mein fracture tha, Sir, aur shoulders mein bhi minor injury thi.”

“Everything in control?”

“Theek ho jayegi. Lekin Dr. Dutta kah rahe the ki agar follow up physiotherapy nahin hui, to life long limp rah jayega pairon mein. Abhi to police layi ise hospital. I doubt ki aage kuchh aur uski family karwa payegi.”

“Ye hua kaise?”

“Ye police ki report hai,” Nidhi handed him a paper, “Uske father ne nashe ki halat mein pahle uski Ma ko peet-peet kar behosh kar diya. Bachchi ki neend khul gayi aur woh dar ke maare rone lagi to use bistar se utha kar neeche patak diya.”

“Itni baar dekha hai aise wahshi logon ko, Nidhi. Lekin ab bhi mushkil hota hai ye manna ki aise log duniya mein ho sakte hain.”

“Pata hai, Dr. Ashutosh. Bachpan mein Baba ko is baat ki bahut chinta hoti thi ki main darpok na rah jaun. To woh mujhe bahut pareshaan karte the. Ek baar swimming pool mein daal diya – floater ke saath, of course –  to ek baar almirah par chadha kar chhod diya. Main chillati rahi, lekin woh meri ek nahin sun rahe the. Ulta Hans rahe the. Ki main Itni darpok kyon hoon. Lekin mujhe koi injection lagna hota to khud rone lagte the, injection lagne ke pahle hi. Ek baar to woh behosh hi ho gaye the…” Nidhi laughed slightly recalling the incident and Ashutosh also joined her.

“Ek taraf aise experiences hain, Nidhi, aur doosri taraf aise cases,” he pointed towards the police report, “Inhein dekh kar mahsoos hota hai na ki tum aur main kitne lucky hain ki hamein apne Baba se itna pyaar mila.”

Nidhi nodded. “Jo log kissi ko itna dard dete hain, mera wash chale to main unka khoon kar doon. Is duniya mein rahne ke layak nahin hain woh.”

“Maanta hoon ki jo kaam iske father ne kiya hai woh bahut ghinona hai. Lekin kissi ki galti ko khud galti kar ke theek to nahin kiya ja sakta na. Zulm ko khatm karne ke liye khud zulm karna to theek nahin hai.”

“To phir zulm khatm kaise ho?”

“Pata nahin,” Ashutosh laughed slightly and turned jocular, “Maine to kabhi zulm kiye nahin.”

“Un sab logon ki aatmaayen, jinhone aapke under kaam kiya hai, aapko jhootha kah kar laanat de rahi hongi abhi.”

Ashutosh laughed, “Lagta hai jo tumhein shuruaat mein thoda bahut daant diya tha maine, uske liye mujhe kabhi maaf nahin karogi.”

“Kabhi bhi nahin,”Nidhi replied playfully.

“Tumhara ilzaam galat hai Nidhi. Zulm to mere oopar hue hain.”

“Aap par kaun se zulm hue hain?”

“Hue hain, kai tareeke ke.”

“Main nahin maanti. Aap par zulm karne ki himmat kiski hai. Aisa koi himmat waala insaan hai to main usse ab tak mili kaise nahin?”

“Roz hi milti ho.”

“Kaun? Main to nahin mili aise kissi insaan se.”

“Kyon? Aaina nahin dekhti tum roz?”

“Ji?”

“Ji.”

“Achchha mazaak hai. Maine kya zulm kiye hain aapke oopar?”

“Yahi kya kam zulm hai ki zulm kiye itni berahmi se aur aur ab itni innocently poochh rahi ho ki kya kiya.”

“Aapne to ghazalein sunni chhod di thi. Ye shayar kaise ban gaye?”

“Ye bhi aapke hi zulmon ka nateeza hai.”

“Dr. Ashutosh.” Nidhi could not hold her cheekiness any longer and turned red.

“Can I let myself go, Nidhi? Bas jo thode din hamare paas bache hain unmein? Kya main tumhein apne man ki sab baatein bata sakta hoon? Jo ki shayad mujhe nahin batani chahiye kyonki is rishte ka, hamari feelings ka future mujhe maaloom hai. Lekin phir bhi…”

“Ek baar zindagi jeene ka haq to sabko hai. Mujhe bhi hai. Aapko bhi. To phir hum ye haq kyon na claim karein?”

Ashutosh smiled at her. A smile mixed with fondness, longing, love, desire and pain. Nidhi could not meet his eyes and lowered hers. A shy smile was playing on her lips.

Just then they heard a knock, and the door opened without waiting for Ashutosh’ permission.

“Ashutosh,” Mallika came in, but froze at her place momentarily, when she saw Nidhi and Ashutosh. She hadn’t give them time to recover from the effect of their conversation. Nidhi was still smiling shyly and Ashutosh still had the lovelorn look in his eyes.

“Did I disturb?” Mallika asked awkwardly, “Kya baatein kar rahe the aap log?” The awkwardness quickly turned to bitterness in her second question.

“Kuchh nahin, Mallika,” Ashutosh replied calmly, “Jo case abhi abhi police le kar aayi hai, Dr. Nidhi usi ki report de rahi thi mujhe. Tum dekhna chahogi?”

“Nahin. Iski koi zaroorat nahin hai. The case is in capable hands.”

“Right.”

Meanwhile Nidhi and Ashutosh had silently communicated that Nidhi should leave.

“Main chalti hoon,” she said, picked up the case files and left.

“So, Mallika. What’s up?”

“What’s up? Iska jawaab to tumhein dena chahiye Ashutosh.”

“Baitho Mallika.”

“Baith kar kya karoongi. Mujhe lagta nahin ki hamare beech kuchh baat karne ko raha hai ab.”

“Kyon?”

“Woh jagah Dr. Nidhi ne jo le li hai.”

“Mallika. Maine tumse kabhi jhooth nahin bola hai is maamle mein. Aaj bhi nahin bolunga. Jo baatein hum pahle kar sakte the, woh aaj bhi kar sakte hain. Aur jo pahle nahin kar sakte the, woh Nidhi meri zindagi mein ho ya nahin, hum nahin kar sakte hain.”

“Matlab Nidhi tumhari zindagi mein hai?”

“Jhooth nahin bolunga Mallika. Mere dil mein woh hai. Lekin meri zindagi mein woh nahin hai, nahin ho sakti, aur nahin hogi.”

“Kya matlab?”

“Let it be Mallika. It’s not easy for me to let her go. But I have to. Ye tumhari wajah se nahin ho raha hai. Lekin agar isse tumhein khushi hoti hai, to achchha hai. Kam-se-kam koi to khush hai.”

“Ho kya raha hai?”

“The expected. Nidhi ki internship khatam ho rahi hai. Ek mahina bacha hai. Uske baad woh yahan nahin rahegi. Tumhein use nahin jhelna padega. Bas ek request hai tumse, is ek mahine mein uske saath koi dushmani mat rakhna. Usne tumhara kuchh nahin bigaada hai. Agar kissi ne tumhara dil toda hai, to woh main hoon. Unfotunately, main uske liye kuchh kar nahin sakta. Jo feelings mere andar nahin hai, woh nahin hain aur aage bhi bhi nahin aayengi. Lekin tum yun samajh lo ki tumhara dil todne ki sazaa mujhe mil rahi hai, kyonki apna dil mujhe apne haathon se todna pad raha hai. Ho sake to mujhe aur sazaa mat dena.”

“Ashutosh!”

“I am sorry Mallika. Main thodi der akela rahna chahta hoon.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. But I need to be alone.”

“Fine then.”

—

To be continued