“Dr. Mallika mere saath itne achchhe se behave kyon kar rahi hain?” Nidhi was pacing up and down in his office.

Her childish pout amused Ashutosh and he burst out laughing. “Nidhi. Duniya ki saari security agencies terrorists ke plans ko le kar bhi itna fret nahin karti hongi, jitna tum Mallika ko le kar kar rahi ho.”

“Terrorists se to unhein doosron ko bachana hota hai na. Woh khud thode hi na terrorists ki naak ke neeche rahte hain. Main to Dr. Mallika ki naak ke neeche hoon!”

“Shaant ho jao, Nidhi. Mallika koi conspiracy nahin kar rahi hai.”

“Haan… I guess so… Ab unhein pata hai ki main unke raaste mein nahin rahne waali…” Nidhi suddenly became sad.

“Nidhi,” Ashutosh walked towards her, “Please aise udaas mat ho. Please!”

“Nahin. Main udaas nahin hoon. In fact… Main to soch rahi thi…”

“Kya?”

“Dr. Ashutosh. Life has not been fair to you. Aur itne saalon baad aapne khushi dhoondhi bhi to kismein? Mujhmein? Jo ki aapka saath hi nahin de sakti. Lekin ye bhi to ho sakta hai na ki itne saalon mein aapke daman mein khushiyan aayi bhi ho to aapne unhein andekha kar diya ho. Kyonki aap rishton par, pyaar par bharosa nahin karte the. Ab to aisa nahin raha. To kya aap…” Nidhi’s voice trailed as she could not bring herself to complete her sentence.

“Nidhi,” Ashutosh said plainly, “Mallika ne tumse dushmani isliye nahin chhodi kyonki use lagta hai ki tum uske raaste se hat gayi ho. Usne ye isliye chhodi hai, kyonki use ye pata chal chuka hai ki tumhari jagah meri zindagi mein koi aur nahin le sakta.”

Nidhi stared at him with moist eyes.

“Aur waise bhi Nidhi,” Ashutosh tried to crack a joke to lighten the mood, “Ye pyaar ka khel baar-baar khelne ke liye meri umra thodi zyada ho gayi hai. Mujhse nahin hoga.”

Nidhi remained silent for a while. Then she spoke firmly, “Dr. Ashutosh. Agar aap mera intezaar karenge, to main hamare rishte par give up nahin karoongi. Mujhe nahin pata ki kaise hoga, lekin ek din main Baba ko zaroor mana loongi.”

“Aap aisa kuchh nahin karengi, Dr. Nidhi Verma. Kissi obsession ko le kar zindagi kaise stagnant ho jaati hai, ye main achchhi tarah jaanta hoon. Aur aapki life waise hi stagnant ho jaye, ye main nahin bardasht karoonga.”

“Woh faisla mera hoga,” Nidhi said stubbornly.

“To tum meri baat nahin maanogi?”

“Main aapki kaun si baat nahin maan rahi? Main Baba se jhagda kar rahi hoon? Main apna career banane se inkaar kar rahi hoon? Nahin na? Phir? Ab aap aur kya chahte hain?”

“Bees din Nidhi. Bees din bache hain tumhare is hospital mein. Aur bees din hain jo main tumhari zindagi mein hoon. Iske baad main nahin chahta ki tumhari zindagi ka koi bhi faisla mujhse affected ho.”

“Agar aisa hai, to mujhe aapki baatein manne ki bhi koi zaroorat nahin hai, Dr. Ashutosh. In fact nahin manni chahiye. Mujhe jo man ho who karna chahiye.”

“Nidhi!” Ashutosh looked at her helplessly.

“Aap kyon jhagda kar rahe hain mujhse?” Nidhi complained.

“Nahin kar raha hoon. Mujhe bas tumhari chinta hai.”

“To mujhe pareshaan mat kijiye.”

“Nahin karoonga. Ab muskura do! Please.”

Nidhi obliged him.

—

Ashutosh had given his customery speech during the farewell of interns, but had excused himself from the rest of the function.

He had also cancelled his appointments for the day, but had not left for home. He stayed in his office, waiting for her to come and say good-bye.

She had not knocked. She had opened the door noiselessly and had entered it as quietly. But he knew she was there, although his back was towards the door.

He turned around in his swivel chair and Nidhi’s heart skipped a beat. What an imposing sight he presented. Sitting in that chair authoritatively. His white, full-sleeve shirt against the black chair made him stand out. His coat lying on the back of the chair aroused a bitter-sweet memory in her.

Nidhi could not control her tears. Ashutosh got up from the chair and came to her. He looked at her for a few moments and then cupped her face. He wiped her tears with his thumbs, while his own eyes were turning moist. Then before he knew it, he had given into the urge of kissing her. He kissed her face senselessly all over, stopping himself only when their lips came close. Then, as if to avoid the urge of crushing her lips, he pulled her in a tight hug. Nidhi responded with equal fervour and clutched at his back. He caressed her, gently at first and then passionately and roughly.  But he regained his control and let her go after a while.

“Nidhi,” he lifter her chin, “Aaj main tumhein koi instructions de kar, tumse kuchh bhi kah kar, hum dono ki mushkilein aur nahin badhaunga. Sach ye hai ki meri kuchh kahne ki himmat hi nahin hai. Bas kabhi meri khushi ka khayaal tumhein pareshaan kare to khud khush rahne ki koshish karna. Tumhein maaloon hai ki usi mein meri khushi hogi.”

Nidhi nodded and wiped her reamining tears, “Aapko kuchh batana tha.”

“Kya?”

“Main kal hi Delhi ja rahi hoon.”

“Kyon?”

“Lucknow mein rah kar yahan na aana, aapse na milna possible nahin hoga. Main wahin par PG ki taiyaari karoongi. Aur ye…” she handed him a paper, “mera roll number hai entrance exam ke liye. Aap shayad result dekhna chahenge.”

Ashutosh nodded with a sad smile, carefully folded the paper and kept it in his shirt pocket.

“Jao Nidhi,” he said in a quivering voice, “Jitni der karogi, utna hi mushkil hoga. Hum dono ke liye.”

“Ji,” she said and turned to leave. She stopped at the door and turned to have a quick look at him.

“Ek minute,” he stopped her and walked to her, “Apna mobile dena.”

Nidhi looked confused at his request, but gave him the mobile anyway. Ashutosh searched for his name in her address book and deleted it. Then he gave it back to her.

“Seriously, Dr. Ashutosh?” she asked definatly and gave him a challenging smile before leaving.

—

“Ashutosh!” Mallika entered his office. He hadn’t been coming to the hospital for last two days, “Tum theek to ho?”

“Haan Mallika. Mujhe kya hoga? Main bilkul theek hoon.”

“Ashutosh. Tumne use roka kyon nahin? Agar tum kahte to mujhe nahin lagta hai ki woh jaati.”

“I know, Mallika. Isliye to maine nahin roka.”

“Hmm…”

“Mallika. Nidhi surprised thi ki tum khush nahin ho.”

“Sirf Nidhi, ya tum bhi?”

“Mujhe lagta hai ki main tumhein samajh raha hoon. Lekin tum khud kyon nahin batati?”

“Nidhi ne mujhse kaha ki main tumhein jaanti to hoon, lekin samajhti nahin. Aur tum logon ke pyaar ko dekh kar laga ki maine pyaar ko bhi jaana to hai, lekin samjha nahin. Nuggests of wisdom — hum sab jaante hain, lekin khud us par amal kar nahin paate.”

“Matlab?”

“Matlab kahte hain na ki agar aap kissi se pyaar karte hain to you should let him go. Agar woh wapas aaye to who tumhara pyaar tha. Otherwise it wasn’t meant to be. Main aaj tak nahin kar payi. Lekin tumhein karte dekha to himmat kar rahi hoon.”

Ashutosh smiled, “Tumhare man mein koi kadwahat to nahin hai, Mallika?”

“Nahin. Ab nahin rahi.”

“Thank you, Mallika. Tumne aaj mere man ka ek bahut bada bojh halka kar diya. Warna zindagi bhar mujhe ye baat kachotati rahti ki meri wajah se tum dukhi ho.”

“Chalo. Tumhari ek problem to khatam kar payi. Ab ye batao ki tumhari gloominess kaise khatam ki jaye.”

“Uski koshish bhi mat karo, Mallika. Bekaar mein tumhein disappointment hogi.”

Mallika made to say something, but her mobile rang. She was needed in the ward and had to leave.

Despite staying away from work for two days, Ashutosh was not feeling rested. He was tired. But he had to go to the ward. He was getting late. He had barely pulled himself out of the chair, when his mobile rang, He did not recognize the number, but picked it up.

“Hello.”

There was no response. “Hello,” he spoke louder this time thinking that there might be a problem in the line.

He heard a sigh at the other end and fell silent. It took him back to a moment from two days ago. She had sighed when he had released her from his tight hug. There was nothing wrong with the line. His eyes became moist and he slumped back in the chair. It was her. He should tell her not to call him, not to remember him. But he did not open his mouth. He sat there motionless, speechless so long as the call was on. She also did not say anything. After about two minutes, the call was disconnected.

Tears were flowing out of Ashutosh’ eyes. But he realized that he was no longer feeling listless. He wiped his tears and got out of his chair. He went to the ward and busied himself in his work for the rest of the day.

It became a daily ritual after that. The call came. He picked it up, said ‘hello’ and then they stayed with each other in silence. He never heard her voice. But it wasn’t needed either. He saved that number in Nidhi’s name in his mobile.

Sometimes she called twice a day. Sometimes, late at night, when he was in the hospital. She, somehow, knew when he was on night-duty. He had started carrying an ear-phone with him. He would pick up the call even if he was in the middle of some work and continue with his work, instructing the nurse about the medicines, admonishing the patient about not following the suggested diet, joking and playing with the kids. And she listened. For as long as she could.