“Ashu. Kahan tha tu? Tujhe mahsoos hota hai ki doosre logon ko chinta hoti hai? Phone kyon nahin lag raha tha tera?” Ashutosh came back only in the evening.
“Main Kaka ko bata kar gaya tha, Armaan. Shaant ho ja.”
“Aur phone ko kya hua?”
“Phone maine phenk diya hai aur number disconnect karwa diya hai.”
“What? Kyon?”
“Zaroorat nahin thi.”
“Aur hospital ki emergencies?”
“Hospital mein bhi phone hai aur ghar mein bhi. Aur kahin main jaunga nahin.”
“Aur baaki logon ka kya?”
“Tu to yahin hai Armaan.”
“Aur Nidhi?”
“Nidhi meri zindagi mein nahin hai.”
“Tu ye maanta hai, shayad woh nahin. Kal shaadi mein woh tera intezaar kar rahi thi.”
“Pagal hai.”
“Zaroor hai. Tabhi to subah-subah yahan bhi aayi thi.”
Ashutosh was not surprised.
“Tu expect kar raha tha. Isliye gayab tha?”
Ashutosh didn’t reply and made to go inside his room.
Armaan sighed and handed him the package, “Ye de gayi hai tere liye.”
Ashutosh took the package with deliberate indifference. But once inside his room, he held it close to his heart and put his arms around it. He didn’t know what was there inside the package. But whatever it was, he was trying to feel her in it. His face contorted with the pain he didn’t betray in anyone’s company.
He carefully kept the package on the bed and sat beside it. His hands trembled as he opened it. A file, a box of CDs and an envelop came out successively. He tore opened the envelop. Expectedly, there was a letter inside.
“Dr. Ashutosh,
I am afraid, main aapko aaj tak koi khushi nahin de payi. Kal pata chala ki aapki ek khushi jis taale mein band thi, uski chaabhi mere paas hai. Isliye woh aapke hawale kar rahi hoon. Aapke Baba ki aakhiri nishaani woh makaan hai jo mere Nana mere naam kar gaye the. Paper work ke baare mein mujhe nahin pata. Isliye Jo bhi papers mere paas the woh aur ghar ki chaabhi aapko de rahi hoon. Ghar ke transfer ke papers mere sign lene ke liye kahan bhejne hain, ye aapko pata hoga kyonki aapne mera result dekha hoga. Naam aur department likh dene se yahan letters pahunch jaate hain.
Aur ab jab ye ghar aapko wapas mil gaya hai to shayad aap apne kuchh purane shauk phir se enjoy karne lagein, isliye kuchh ghazalon ki CDs chhod kar ja rahi hoon. Abhi mere paas itni hi thi.
Aapki
Nidhi”
Dr. Ashutosh Mathur cried that night. He wailed. And when he had exhausted his tears, he put one of the CDs in his laptop, played the ghazals and drifted off to sleep without even changing out of his day clothes.
Armaan and Kaka looked at each other questioningly when they heard the sound of Ghazals from his room.
—
“Nidhi. Bua ki jaan pahchaan mein Agra mein ek achchhi family hai. Unka ladke ne IIM se MBA kiya hai. Aaj kal Delhi mein hi posted hai,” Baba told Nidhi later in the day, “Hum soch rahe the ki tum Delhi mein usse ek baar mil leti.”
“Main usse mil kar kya karoongi?”
“Agar tum log ek-doosre ko pasand karo to hum shaadi ki baat chalayen.”
“Meri shaadi ki baat kahan se aa gayi, Baba? Mujhe shaadi nahin karni hai.”
“Kyon nahin? Ye Bilkul sahi umra hai…”
Nidhi sighed. Why was Baba feigning ignorance? But if he was, she would also play the game. She evaded the issue, “Abhi padhai chal rahi hai meri, Baba. Aur kissi ke liye time nahin hai mere paas. Main jaati hoon, mujhe packing karni hai. Thodee der mein train hai meri.”
“Tum aaj hi wapas ja rahi ho?”
“Haan Baba. Aur classes nahin chhod sakti. Waise aap agle mahine aa rahe hain na?”
Baba nodded. Since Nidhi wouldn’t come to Lucknow, he had been visiting her in Delhi every month.
—
“Dr. Armaan. Sorry to disturb you. Lekin Dr. Ashutosh ka phone ab bhi unreachable hai. Kya woh ab tak…” Nidhi had tried calling Ashutosh after reaching Delhi.
“Ashutosh wapas aa gaya hai, Dr. Nidhi. Aur woh theek hai. Lekin usne kaha ki usne apna phone phenk diya hai aur number disconnect karwa diya hai.”
“Oh!” A medly of emotions came upon her – surprise, deisappointment and hurt.
“Aur ek naya obsession le kar aaya hai, Dr. Nidhi? Itne saalon se usne ghazalein nahin suni. Lekin pichhle do dinon mein shahar ke saare music shops ke chakkar laga aaya hai aur jitni CDs mili sab le aaya hai. Aur Jo abhi tak nahin mila hai, unke peechhe pagal hua ja raha hai.”
Nidhi smiled on hearing that, “Aap chinta mat kijiye, Dr. Armaan. Ye achchha sign hai.” He wanted to push her away. But if he was discovering some joy in something, she could find a reason to be satisfied.
—
The courier reached to him at the hospital. Sender’s name only said “Pediatrics Department, AIIMS”. He impatiently opened the package to find a huge box of CDs inside it along with a small note.
“Dr. Armaan se pata chala ki aap ghazalon ki CDs khareed rahe the. Ismein almost woh saaraa collection hoga jo aapne pahle suna hoga. Aur inmein se kai ab stores mein nahin milte.”
Ashutosh cried once again!
—
Nidhi was crying too. Not being able to hear Ashutosh’ voice over phone had practically cut her lifeline. And as if that was not enough, Baba had added to her misery by calling her about meeting Rohan, the boy Dadi Bua had in mind for her.
“Tum apni zidd nahin chhodogi, Nidhi?” he had said.
“Kaisi zidd Baba?”
“Dr. Ashutosh ki…”
“Maine kaun si zidd ki, Baba? Jo aap nahin chahte, woh to maine nahin kiya. Lekin ab to aap zidd kar rahe hain na. Main shaadi ke liye taiyaar nahin hoon, Baba. Aap please mujh par pressure mat daaliye.”
What was she to do with herself, her life? Everyone meant well for her. Baba as well as Dr. Ashutosh. And yet, both of them were hurting her. She couldn’t even hurt them back for a revenge. She loved them both.
—
How could a simple decision about accepting or declining an invitation for a guest lecture be so agonising? But it was so for Ashutosh. The e-mail with the invitation had come from Dr. Mathew, whom he had known for several years. Mathew had recently joined the pediatrics department at AIIMS and wanted Ashutosh to give a lecture in his class. Typically such requests were honoured in the profession. But this was for AIIMS. And it meant…
He re-read the e-mail. It was for the first year students. Nidhi would be in her second year now. He would be able to avoid her, he told himself, and sent his acceptance.
—
“Ashutosh. That was a great lecture. You should be in an insittute like this. Achchhe teachers ki bahut zaroorat hai is profession mein. Being a good teacher, along with being a good doctor is so rare. Students tumhein sach mein sun rahe the, yaar. It was too good,” Ashutosh was in Mathew’s office after delivering the lecture.
“You are going overboard, Mathew. Maine koi aisa aasmaan se taare todne waala kaam nahin kiya hai.”
“Ashutosh. Main din-raat students se deal karta hoon. Trust me I know their reactions. Stop being so humble yaar. Lucknow mein kya kar rahe ho tum? Come to Delhi. AIIMS will more than welcome you.”
“Sab log Delhi hi aa gaye to Lucknow ka kya hoga, Mathew? Main wahin theek hoon.” Lucknow and Baba were connected. Ashutosh could not imagine settling down anywhere other than Lucknow.
“Achchha suno. About the lunch…”
“May I come in, Sir?” someone knocked at the office door interrupting them.
Ashutosh froze on hearing the voice.
“Please come in. Who is this… Oh. Dr. Nidhi Verma. Please come. Are… Main aapko batana kaise bhool gaya, Dr. Nidhi ki Dr. Ashutosh yahan aaye hain? Aap logon ko to introduce karwane ki zaroorat nahin hai.”
Ashutosh and Nidhi stared at each other. Nidhi in surprise, and Ashutosh in embarrassment. He couldn’t have said why he was embarrassed though. Was it for coming to AIIMS, or was it for not informing her?
—
To be continued