“Ye nainsaafi hai, Nidhi. Tum apni rationality ki defintion mujh par bhi thop rahi ho. Ye to socho ki agar khushiya irrational hoti hain, to who sabki ek jaisi to nahin ho sakti? Warna to jismein sabki khushiyan ho, use hi rational maana jayega. Lekin… unfortunately main ye prove nahin kar sakta ki tumhari rationality ke paimane par meri marzi, meri khushiyan kitni irrational hain. Mere haath bandhe hue hain aur… Oh God! Main ye kya kar raha hoon?” Ashutosh halted his impassioned speech when he noticed that Nidhi was crying. He wiped her tears and said in a soft, assuring voice, “Ro mat, Nidhi. Don’t work yourself up like this. Aise operation se pahle nahin… Aur… Nidhi, main Baba se baat karoonga. Main na to khud bardasht kar sakta hoon, na hi tumhein aur aise ghutate hue dekh sakta hoon. Aur… woh maan jayenge, Nidhi. Woh bhi to tumse pyaar karte hain. Main unse bheekh maangoonga, apni khushiyon ki, tumhari khushiyon ki…”
“Bas, Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi interrupted, “Uski zaroorat nahin hai. Baba to maan gaye hain…”
“What?” Ashutosh was taken aback, “Baba… maan gaye hain… To tumne mujhe bataya kyon nahin? How could you not tell me, Nidhi?”
“Baba aapse baat karna chahte the. Maine hi mana kiya tha.”
“Tumne mana kiya tha? Kyon? Oh God! Nidhi… You thought… Tumhein laga ki tum pregnant nahin ho sakti, is wajah se main tumse… Tum itni bewkoof ho kya? That was really bad, and cruel of you, Dr. Nidhi Verma…”
“Dr. Ashutosh, please,” Nidhi tried to control his excitement, “Aise jaldbaazi mein kuchh mat kahiye. Ek baar future ke baare mein soch lijiye. Ye itna trivial bhi nahin hai.”
“You know what, Nidhi. You have been such a fool ki ab main tumse poochhoonga bhi nahin ki tum mujhse shaadi karogi ya nahin. Mera wash chalta to abhi tumse zabardasti shaadi kar leta, aur is operation ke consent papers par khud sign karta. Ye nahin ho sakta, lekin jaise hi tum recover karogi… Nahin… Ek shabd aur nahin. Koi bakwaas nahin sunni hai mujhe tumhari,” he didn’t let her speak, “Itna kuchh samajhti ho tum mere baare mein. Phir bhi kabhi tumhein ye realize nahin hua ki mujhse behtar ye koi nahin jaan sakta ki rishte khoon se nahin, pyaar se bante hain. Main khud adopted hoon, Nidhi. Tumhein kabhi ye realize nahin hua ki main bachche adopt karna chahunga? Aur in sabse pahle… tumhein ye realize nahin hua, Nidhi, ki agar tum mujhe mil sakti ho to mujhe duniya mein kissi aur cheez ki koi parwaah nahin hai? Agar tumhari is ek medical problem ki wajah se tum mujhe mil gayi, to main is problem ke liye oopar waale shukraguzaar hoon. Jo bhi hua, bahut achcha hua. Bahut hi achchha hua…”
Nidhi allowed herself to smile and hope. She leaned on him for a hug. He happily obliged and embraced her tightly. Nidhi pulled away after a while and said jokingly, “Operation ke pahle mera BP badh gaya to achchha nahin hoga, Dr. Ashutosh.”
Ashutosh chuckled, “Yes. You have been trained well, Dr. Nidhi Verma.”
They were still holding hands and laughing, when Anji entered, “Nidhi. Ye kapde… Oh!” she smield sheepishly on seeing them together, “Main thodee der mein aati hoon.”
“Nahin Anji,” Nidhi stopped her, “Kya baat hai?”
“Ye kapde. Tujhe change karne honge operation ke liye. Sister thodee der mein woh aayengi tujhe operations ke liye taiyaar karne ko.”
“Nidhi. You get ready,” Ashutosh said and got up to leave with Anji.
“Thank you, Anji. Main sach much aapka bahut shukraguzaar hoon,” Ashutosh said when they had come out of their room.
“Thank you? Kisliye?”
“Agar aapne mujhe Nidhi ki pareshaani ke baare mein nahin bataya hota to shayad hamari saari pareshaaniyan aaj resolve nahin hui hoti. Lekin kuchh aur kahne se pahle mujhe Baba se baat karni hogi.”
“Sure. Although it isn’t so difficult to guess,” Anji gave a knowing smile to Ashutosh. Ashutosh could not help blushing a little.
—
“Ouch!”Nidhi tried to sit up too quickly and felt an acute pain.
“Sambhaal ke, Nidhi,” Ashutosh hadn’t left her bedside since she had been operated upon, “Itni jaldbaazi mein kyon rahti ho har waqt?”
“Main bistar par pade-pade tang aa gayi hoon.”
“Poori duniya kaam kar-kar ke tang aa gayi hai. Sabko aaraam ka mauka chahiye aur tumhein woh mauka mila hai to tum uski izzat hi nahin karti.”
“Aap kab tak rukenge yahan?”
“Ek hafta ho chuka hai, Nidhi. Parson mujhe wapas jaana hoga. Hospital ka kaam itna ignore nahin karna chahiye…”
“Mujhe bhi wapas jaana hai Lucknow.”
“Pahle to tumhein recover karna hai, aur phir jitni padhai chhooti hai, use catch up karna hai.”
“Nahin Dr. Ashutosh… Mujhse ab aur kuchh nahin hoga… Main… Main wapas Lucknow jaana chahti hoon.”
“Lucknow kahin bhaaga thode hi na ja raha hai, Nidhi.”
“Aap to bhaage ja rahe hain na wapas Lucknow?”
Ashutosh smiled patronizingly, “Pagli. Ab kya problem hai? I promise, main Lucknow pahunchte hi naya mobile loonga aur use 24/7 on rakhoonga.”
“Aapke liye woh kaafee hai kya? Mere liye nahin hai. Agar mujhe ab aapke saath aur meri padhai ke beech ek ko chunna hai, to main aapko chunoongi.”
“Nahin Nidhi,” Ashutosh turned serious, “No more sacrifices. Bahut ho gaya. Isse koi khush nahin rahta. Already humne bahut sacrifices kiye hain. Aur shayad meri hi wajah se… Maine kabhi situation ko face karne ki koshish hi nahin ki. Aur tumhein bhi aisa hi karne par majboor kar diya. Mujhe kuchh confess karna hai Nidhi… Tumhare saamne, aur khud ke bhi.”
“Kya?”
“Jab main peechhe mud kar dekhta hoon, to mujhe ahsaas hota hai ki maine kabhi Baba ko manane ki koshish bhi nahin ki. Pahle hi haar maan li. Aisa isliye hua ki kahin na kahin main insecure feel karta tha. Mujhe lagta tha ki I may not be the right one for you. I am too old. Isliye main peechhe hat gaya. Aur tum… tum mujh par itna bharosa karti thi ki bina koi sawaal poochhe meri baat maanti gayi. Deep down mujhe lagta tha ki mujhse door ja kar, you will move on. Main galat tha, Nidhi, aur jab tak main tumse yahan nahin mila tha, mujhe ahsaas nahin hua tha ki tum kitna tadpi ho, kitna pareshaan rahi ho. I am sorry, Nidhi. I am really sorry. Aur ab main dubara kabhi tumhein koi sacrifice karne par majboor nahin karoonga.”
“Mujhe bhi nahin karna aur koi sacrifice. Isliye to main aapke saath jaana chahti hoon.”
“Nidhi. No sacrifice means no sacrifice. Tumhare career ka bhi sacrifice nahin…”
“Lekin…”
“Meri poori baat suno. Tumhein Lucknow aane ki zaroorat nahin hai, Nidhi. Main Delhi shift ho jaunga, jab tak tumhari padhai poori nahin hoti hai.”
“Ji?” Nidhi was shocked.
“Dr. Mathew aur meri jaan-pahchaan ke jo aur log AIIMS mein hain, who sab kahte hain ki I should join this place. To usmein koi problem nahin hogi.”
“Lekin aap to Lucknow se bahar nahin rahna chahte…”
“Tumhare meri zindagi mein aane ke baad ek baat maine seekhi hai, Nidhi, ki hamara present aur future, past se zyada important hota hai. Lucknow main apne past ki wajah se nahin chhodna chahta tha. Lekin agar mera future mere Lucknow chhodne se behtar rahega, to main kyon na chhodoon? Aur waise bhi ye permanent thode hi na hai. Kuchh saalon ki baat hai. Padhai khatam hone ke baad to tum bhi wapas jaana chahogi, hai na?”
Nidhi smiled and nodded.
“Main tumhein ab hamesha khush dekhna chahta hoon, Nidhi.”
“Aur main aaj is duniya mein sabse khush, aur sabse khushkismat ladki hoon!”
Ashutosh was overwhelmed. He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them. Nidhi blushed furiously.
—
To be continued