“Bas Dadi Ma. Aap please aisa bol kar mujhe aur sharminda mat kijiye. Main pahle hi itni badi galti…”

Just then the nurse walked in and informed Dadi Ma that Geet’s discharge papers were ready. When she left, Dadi Ma proceeded to do the task Maan had assigned to her.

“Geet beta. Hamari ek baat maanengi aap?”

“Boliye Dadi Ma.”

“Please hamare saath ghar chaliye. Aapko bed-rest ki zaroorat hai.”

“Nahin Dadi Ma,” Geet was guilty, “Maan…”

“Maan ne apna samaan outhouse mein shift karwa liya hai. Unka kamra hamare kamre ke sabse paas hai. Aap wahin rahengi. Please Geet. Agar aapne hamari baat nahin maani to hum aur bhi guilty feel karenge. Itna naraaz mat hoiye humse.”

“Bas Dadi Ma. Mujhe sharminda mat kijiye baar baar maafi maang kar. Aap jo kahengi main wahi karoongi.”

Maan wanted her to go home. Even after all this, after she had doubted his unconditional love, after she had insulted him, after she had…. slapped him, he still cared about her. Geet wondered for a moment if she could disappear into thin air, not having to face her embarrassment and shame. But that route was not for her. Hers was a life of struggle. If she had fought for her dignity, she had to fight her shame also. She had to pay for the hurt and insult she had given to Maan.

—

“Hello. Dadi Ma? Sab theek hai na?” Maan hurriedly picked up the phone and asked anxiously.

“Geet ghar aa chuki hain beta. Aur unki tabiyat bhi abhi theek hai.”

“Thank you Dadi Ma,” Maan had to try hard not to choke on his words.

“Aap unse milenge nahin Maan?”

“Dadi Ma. Abhi use aaraam ki zaroorat hai.”

“Dinner ke liye to ghar aayenge na aap.”

“Nakul ko boliyega mera khana outhouse bhijwa de.”

—

After Geet had settled down in the room and Dadi Ma had left for her own room, Geet became restless. The room had Maan’s aura about it. She could feel his presence there. She remembered spending a night in this room with him, when he was angry with her for hiding his pregnancy from him. Even then, when she had fallen sick, he hadn’t thought twice about bringing her home and taking care of her. That’s the way he was, wasn’t he? He might be angry at her, he might think he hated her, but he could never stop taking care of her, he could never stop loving her. And she doubted him? His love? She thought he would help a criminal against her? She doubted his integrity?

She tried hard for the sake of her health, her baby’s health, but she could not sleep. Her guilt, her shame would not let her sleep. Even when she managed to take a nap, she would wake up in minutes with some dream or nightmare haunting her.

She looked at the wall clock. It was 2 am. She could no longer stay in the room. She had to see him. She would come back without disturbing him, if he was sleeping. But she just had to see him. She woke Nakul up asked for the spare keys of the outhouse and he promptly brought it for her. He did wonder why she needed to go to the outhouse this late at night, but Geet avoided his question and he was too sleepy to make much out of the situation.

Geet practically ran towards the outhouse and opened the door. She slowed down and walked cautiously, without making any noise, once she entered the place. She climbed the stairs to reach his room. The door was unlocked. She opened it slowly. The lights were on, but Maan was not in the room. She walked in and saw a shirt of his lying on the bed. It was the same shirt he had worn that day. She could not help the urge to pick it up. She held is close to her heart and kneeled down, supporting her hips on her heels. She clutched the shirt even closer and started crying silently. Despite her agitated state of mind, she found peace there and slept off resting her head on the edge of the bed, Maan’s shirt clutched close to her heart.

—

“Geet!” Maan was shocked to see her there when he came back from the bathroom. He had returned only a while back, had changed into his night dress and was freshening up, when Geet had walked into his room.

At the same time Geet woke up calling his name, “Maan!”

She was dreaming of him, Maan realized and his heart skipped a beat.

Geet became extremely embarrassed when she saw him. She had come there hoping to see him, but she had not expected to find him awake. She had not thought about how to talk to him. She was also disoriented having just woken up from sleep.

“Woh Maan. Sir. Main… Sorry. Ye shirt…” She realized that she was clutching on to his shirt and she threw it back on the bed, “I am sorry. Main jaati hoon.”

She began to leave, but Maan held her hands. He did not pull her to him as he had done that morning. He was fully aware that she was weak and needed care. Instead of pulling her to him, he walked to face her.

“Geet. Dadi Ma ne tumhein bataya hai na ki tumhein complete bed rest ki zaroorat hai. Phir itni raat ko aaraam karne ki bajai tum yahan kya kar rahi ho?”

She had to say it now, “Mujhse bahut badi galti ho gayi hai…”

Maan thought she was referring to the slap. And that reminded him of his behaviour just before that. He became very conscious of touching her. He suddenly left her hand and interrupted what she was saying, “Geet. Jo main aaj kiya uske baad…”

“Woh galat tha. Lekin uske baad to maine aap par haath utha kar ek aur galti kar di. Uske liye bhi mujhe maafi maangni hai, lekin abhi main uski baat kar bhi nahin rahi thi,” Geet’s eyes were downcast as she was recounting her mistakes.

“Kya matlab?”

Geet started crying again as she spoke, “Dadi Ma ne mujhe bataya ki… aapne Dev ki bail unke kahne par sirf do ghante ke liye karwai thi. Aur maine? Aap par shaq kiya? Sooraj par andhere ka ilzaam laga diya maine. Maine jo kiya uski to maafi ho hi nahin sakti. Aap mujhe sazaa de dijiye Maan. Mujhe koi bhi sazaa manzoor hai.”

“Geet!” Maan’s heart was tearing apart seeing her in pain like this. This was all that was needed. What did he have to lose if he had answered that one questino she had asked? ‘Kyon shaadi karna chahte hain aap mujhse?’ Just one reassurance of his love and she would have melted in his arms. Why did it all have to come to this? May be he could explain now at least.

—

To be continued