“Mukundo Babu,” it was another of his visits. She was in her second semester now.

“Hmm…” he didn’t look up from whatever he was reading. This was their usual routine. They didn’t always have a lot to talk about. Because whenever they did feel like talking, they would call each other up and not wait for his trip. So, Mukundo brought his work with him and she also continued her studies or any other work, while he stayed.

“Baba was quite disappointed.”

“With what?”

“’With who’ is the right question. With you.”

“Why?” he looked up startled.

“He was quite hopeful that by this winter, you would be married.”

“And he has asked you to talk to me?” Mukundo sounded annoyed.

“I had visited Aporna Didi during my winter breaks.”

“Piyali!” Aporna, his errant ex-wife, was a distant cousin of Piyali. It was her father who had been instrumental in getting her married to Mukundo. Probably that was the reason he felt so guilty towards him and was desperate to see him settled again.

“She is a changed person, Mukundo Babu. She repents…”

“Piyali. This isn’t for you to discuss with me…”

“Why not, Mukundo Babu? Who else will talk to you? Do you let anybody do that? Aren’t you lonely? Don’t tell me you are not. If you were married and had a content life, would you still have time to entertain my whim and make this monthly trip to Mumbai?”

“Piyali!” He flung the book he was holding across the room. Piyali jerked back and for the first time in her life she felt scared in his presence. Not just scared, terrified.

He, too, was terrified of himself. He was so angry that he feared he would do something untoward. He made to leave the room. Piyali found the courage to move and leapt out of bed. “Mukundo Babu. Please wait.”

Hearing her pleading voice calmed him a bit. He stopped and looked back at her. “Is this what things have come to, Piyali? You are pitying me?”

“Oh my God! No, Mukundo Babu. Please let me explain.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to…”

“No. Please listen to me. Something terrible happened recently that I haven’t told you about.”

“What?” he frowned.

“A girl from my batch – she tried to commit suicide.”

“What? Why?”

“Don’t really know. But something must be bothering her. And she wasn’t able to talk to anyone. It was a scary experience, Mukundo Babu. Someone could be so lonely and desperate that she could think of nothing but taking her own life.”

“Are you okay?” Mukundo completely forgot about his anger and outburst and was now concerned only with her emotional well-being.

“I thought about how lucky I was. To have you in my life. As a friend, an anchor. We talked a lot, you know. After that incident. Many of us. About our fears and vulnerabilities, loneliness… And I realized how unique my situation is. How comfortable. And then I could not help thinking about you. What about you? Who did you have in your life? To anchor your life around? To share everything with? It isn’t fair that you should be lonely, Mukundo Babu.”

“Piyali,” he held her shoulders, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Why are you sorry?”

“I shouted at you.”

“Yeah,” she chuckled, “You scared the hell out of me.”

“And I’m really sorry about it.”

“I promise I won’t bother you again.”

“Don’t worry about me. I have you in my life. I have an anchor, a purpose.”

“But you don’t share your problems with me, the way I do with you.”

“I do share. Whenever I feel that you can handle it. It is true that I am patronizing towards you. I have seen sixteen more years of life than you. So, sometimes I don’t find it fair that you should be exposed to some of its cruelties before time. But you are my friend. You will always be. And till you are happy, wherever you are, I will be very happy.”

She smiled. He suppressed an urge to pull her in his arms.

“Dinner?” he asked.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

“Ahwaan is not joining us?”

“No,” she pouted.

“Why?”

“He says he feels very self-conscious in your presence,” she chuckled.

But he looked somber. “Why?”

“Oh don’t bother, Mukundo Babu. I think he is just jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“You are what any boy would want to be.”

“Huh?”

“I am not explaining that,” she looked away as if she was scared of saying something inappropriate. Mukundo looked at her curiously, but did not probe her further.

—

Three and a half years flew by. Mukundo had come to meet her just before her winter break. He was taking a short-term position with a university in Europe. He would be gone until summers.

“I will see you now only after your graduation, Piyali.”

“You won’t be here for even my convocation?”

“Unfortunately my intended research work won’t allow me come back by then, Pihu. But come on. Be happy for me. I am really excited about this opportunity.”

“Of course. I was being selfish as usual. Congratulations, Mukundo Babu.”

“Thank you. I have to leave tomorrow night. I have taken a late-night flight. Why don’t you invite Ahwaan to join us for dinner?” He did join them once in a while, though not always.

“I will ask him. But…”

“What?”

“I won’t see you at all in the next semester?”

Mukundo laughed, “And aren’t you planning to go for higher studies after this Piyali? Even you can’t ask me to travel to US every month. Let’s get used to this.”

“Not every month, but every quarter?” she asked innocently and then grinned.

Mukundo raise his eyebrows feigning shock at her proposal.

—

She was already close to tears when he opened the door for her next evening and started sobbing as soon as she was inside the room. It took quite a bit of coaxing and repeated persuasion on his part to make her speak. Ahwaan had broken up with her.

“It won’t work out according to him. He wants to get a job, then do an MBA. I want to go for an MS – possibly a Ph. D.”

“Piyali. Calm down.”

“We were together for three years. And he was just so…”

“What?”

“Cruel. I was inviting him to join us for dinner and…”

Her sobs grew louder. He told her to stop thinking about it. “It’s not the end of life, Piyali.”

“You were right, Mukundo Babu, weren’t you? All boys are bad.”

“At this age. It doesn’t mean everyone else you meet will also be bad. And then I had said something else too. Remember? Your safety net. It won’t take you too long to heal.”

“I… I might have gone beyond the safety net, Mukundo Babu.”

“What do you mean?” he grew alarmed.

She gulped hard, but could not speak.

“Oh God! You… you aren’t pregnant or something…”

“What? No! Damn it… But I did… We did…” she took a deep breath, “Sleep together.”

He shouldn’t have felt relieved at that. But he had already thought of the worse. So, that’s precisely what his reaction was. “Thank God! It’s not a big deal… What am I saying… Look. Piyali. I am not asking you to take such things casually… But you are an adult. It’s not a sin or anything… You had me scared…”

He fell silent when he realize that she had thrown her arms around him and was hugging him tight. He hesitated for a moment, then drew his arm around her. He held her head with one hand and kept the other one on her back. He planted a kiss on her head and murmured. “It’s all right. Everything is all right.” She clung even more desperately to him.  He also tightened his arms in response. He felt her shallow, uneven breath on his chest and it ignited an uncontrollable fire in him. His fingers dug into her hair and her back. He caressed her roughly as she ran her hands over his sensitive spine. He pulled her head away fully intending to kiss her. But a look at her face brought him back to his senses. What on earth was he doing? It was Piyali. He couldn’t… He shouldn’t… No one will ever accept it. And he needed to let her fly, live her own life… Damn…

—

To be continued