Early on, Ahwaan had started asking her about how their money and property was managed at home.  Piyali could give only sketchy responses as Mukundo looked after most of it and Debangi had the signing authority. Piyali hadn’t bothered herself about it. She didn’t think much of his questions until he started pestering her for letting him manage the money. He wanted to have his own investment firm and this would help him get started. She told him that the money was managed by Mukundo, and it couldn’t be otherwise.

“But Piyali, you had only had to tell me. If you wanted him to manage the money, what objection could I have?”

“But I didn’t want him to, Mukudno Babu,” she said a quivering voice, “There is more…”

“I’m sorry. Please go on…”

Was he one of those frauds that finance industry is littered with, he wondered. It wasn’t like he had been able to do any harm to the family money, though. Why was she so guilty?

“You would ask me on phone what was wrong, and I didn’t know how to answer it. I had thought he was passionate. And that’ what had attracted me so fatally to him. But he was paranoid, Mukundo Babu. He was worried about every minute I was not in front of his eyes. He would call up on the landline to check if I was at home. He would want me to tell him everything about my phone conversations with anyone. Even with you and Ma. After a few days, he started checking my phone’s history because he suspected that I wasn’t telling him who I talked to… And then he accused me of deleting the history…  Or not informing him about a friend I had called up…”

She could see his muscles quivering in anger, but she continued talking. She couldn’t stop herself if she wanted. She had been holding it all inside her all this while, but now it wasn’t in her power to stop.

“I once asked him why he was so paranoid and why did he not trust me. He said the most horrible thing…” she paused here and hesitated.

“Go on, Piyali,” he spoke through his clenched teeth, as gently as he could manage, “There is nothing you cannot tell me. Don’t hesitate, not even for a moment.”

“He said – if you could sleep with me when we were not married, what was the guarantee that you would not sleep with someone else now? Especially…”

“Especially?”

She gulped hard, “You. He thought we have always…”

“Is that why you had stopped talking to me?” he asked sounding calm, even though a storm was raging within him.

She shook her head.

“Then?”

“I left his house the day he raised his hands on me… I continued pretending before Ma. But… I knew I would not be able to lie to you. And I didn’t know how to face you… You had trusted me blindly. You had persuaded Ma about him…” The tears that had stopped while she had talked reappeared.

“I swear, Piyali, he will go behind bars for this torture…”

The chill and determination in his voice unnerved her. “Mukundo Babu, please. I don’t want any of that. I just… just want a divorce and be done with him.”

He noticed the effect of his anger on her and took a deep breath to calm himself down. Then he held her close and said, “None of this was your fault…”

“But it was…” she replied with a downcast eyes, “I should have introduced him to you earlier. But I had kept putting it off. Because somewhere, in the depth of my heart… I knew you wouldn’t approve of him. He was nothing like you, even when he was at his best…” She lifted her eyes and looked at him before continuing, “I was really surprised when you approved the match without even meeting him…” She stopped as she noticed him averting his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, “I failed you…”

“You had said…” she stopped as she noticed the look of guilt on his face. She understood what had happened, “You did that because you thought I would accuse you of jealousy otherwise?”

“You, Piyali, had been generous and sporting about my feelings even though they were so unacceptable to you. You did not out me, nor did you embarrass me at any point of time. You would not have accused me of anything. But I wasn’t so sure of myself at that point. I have always only wanted you happiness. I had no intentions of ever telling you… And till you didn’t know, I knew I could always act in your best interest, even if it would hurt me. But knowing that you knew… It had put me in a strange frame of mind. I didn’t trust myself at all…”

“You are so humble about me, Mukundo Babu, as if I am some… But Mukundo Babu, Shikha, and you, had heard only part of my opinion. And it was quite stupid. Because I had thought that I needed a life partner who was passionate and wild, so that I could be wild with him too. What I didn’t realize was that I could be wild because you were always there, grounded, to support me if I fell, and to guide me if I strayed. I was so utterly wrong. But there is another part…” her voice trailed.

“What is it?” Mukundo asked anxiously.

She smiled at him sadly, “There is nothing profound in it, Mukundo Babu. Thing is, I cannot say anything profound. I cannot fathom depths of your wisdom, knowledge and feelings. I am an ordinary girl. I enjoy frivolous things.” She repeated her exact thoughts from that day, when she had that fateful conversation with Shikha, “A little flattery, a nice dress, a trek up the hills and camping in jungles. And apart from being superficial in my tastes, now I have also proved myself to be an idiot, who does not know right from wrong. What more? I am an invalid too,” she instinctively touched her left hand, “What would you do with someone like me, Mukundo Babu? I’m no good for you.” She felt a lump forming in her throat and turned away from him.

He went around to face her again. She wasn’t crying, but was so sad and miserable that he could not help drawing her in a tight embrace. “I will tell you everything that is wrong with your opinion of yourself,” he said as he released her still holding her close, “But right now you tell me this. Do you think I am any good for you? If yes, then try me. And if I am not the happiest person in the world with you, then you can do whatever you want with me.”

—

To be continued