“Do you truly mean to marry me? And out of love? Not for the sake of pity or charity?”

“What would you have me do? You tell me, Sarah. Whatever I have tried to do to make you reciprocate my feelings seems to have backfired. So, now I come to you for counsel. Tell me what would you have me do to make you accept me.”

“Ask me, just ask me. But stay there. Stay afar and ask me.” I wanted to hear him when his proximity was not making me light-headed.

He sank down to his knees, out of sheer exhaustion and not for the sake of making a romantic gesture – that would have been so unlike him – “Will you marry me, Sarah Jacob?”

That was the end of me. I could not have held back even if Father Jacob, or the son of the God himself had appeared before me and asked me to do so. I walked to him, deliberately measuring my steps as I was afraid I would trip over something in my excitement.

“Yes. I will.”

He looked up at me and in that instant all his exhaustion melted away. He bolted upright and pulled me in an embrace so tight that I started struggling for my breath soon.

“Sorry. Sorry, my love. I just…” he loosened his grip when he heard me gasping for air. He looked at me for a couple of seconds and then attacked my lips. My virgin mouth could not have imagined a more violent kiss. He probed, demanded and I had no option but to give in. I had to remember to keep breathing through my nose, else I would have fainted.

He was aware of how ferocious he had been when he broke the kiss. “I should probably send you to Delhi after all. For a while at least. I am violent in love right now and I am afraid I will hurt you.”

I could think of nothing to say. No loving admonishments, no witty rejoinders. I couldn’t even meet his eyes and kept mine downcast.

“She is silent. And she is blushing. My feral cat. Crow has gotten her tongue. But for now, I don’t mind. I am happy. I am so happy that I am almost afraid of it. Are you? Are you happy Sarah?”

“Yes Sir,” I forced myself to speak for his sake.

“Protim. Protim is the name my bride-to-be.”

“Protim!” The name felt unfamiliar, but delicious on my tongue. I could get used to chanting that name, forgive me God! I was happy.

He kissed me gently then. Licking and grazing at my lips until I voluntarily opened my mouth to let him in. He explored it leisurely, giving me time to breathe every few seconds and he left me wanting for more, much more by the time he withdrew.

“I am tempted to sin,” he spoke in a hoarse voice heavy with desire, “But my God-fearing fiancée will hate me for that. I must arrange for a wedding quickly. But right now, we must go in. It’s getting chilly. Come. Come with me Sarah and never leave my side again.”

—

Protim

“So, you drive Debjani away by telling her about your little secret. But you want to marry Sarah?” Chanda had worked with our family for long, had seen me grown up and had left her beloved Kolkata to take care of my household. Her attempt at dissuading me from what she thought was wrong should not been such an oddity, but it was. Because she had never ever taken that tone with me. Despite her older years, she had always treated me as the master and given me the space and respect the position demanded. So, it took me a few moments to acknowledge the verbal outburst and prepare a response.

“You have a problem with Sarah?”

“I have a problem with you. It’s not right. Not for her. She must know…”

“Debjani did not leave because of my secret. She left because she thought I would not be rich enough because of that secret. Sarah does not care for that. There is nothing else that matters.”

“What if…”

“Gods are my witness that I am doing the right thing by her. Why should a friendless, poor orphan not have a loving home of her own? And she is one right choice I have made in years. If He does not let me do that, I defy the God and the men alike.”

“Sugarcoating is not going to change the reality. If you have such faith, tell her the truth and then see what happens!”

“That’s enough, Chanda. I heard what you had to say. Not another word on this. Especially not to Sarah. Remember that.”

Thank God that this country has so many different languages, some completely unintelligible to the speakers of others.  As I turned to leave, I realized that Sarah must have overheard parts of our conversation. Although her manners won’t let her linger around to hear it in entirety, and she had already hastened away from the room where we were, what really saved my day was that Chanda and I were conversing in Bengali.

“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to pry upon you. I just happened to pass that way… And Chanda was angry. Is something wrong?” she was uncharacteristically nervous when I caught up with her.

“No. Nothing you need to worry about anyway.”

“She.. she wanted you to marry Debjani?”

She had definitely heard the names. I decided to let her believe that that was indeed the problem. “Are you surprised?”

“No.”

“Does it trouble you?”

She looked away. “Yes. I wish I were a better match for you…”

“Do you know how much money I have?”

“What? No! And I am not…”

“You are not marrying me for money?”

“Of course not! Why would you say something like that?”

“Yes. It’s a good thing you are not a ‘better’ match for me, Sarah. Else that’s precisely what you would be doing.”

“But that’s what everyone thinks, right?”

I went forward, cupped her face and made her look into my eyes. “What really matters to you, my little fiancée? What I think? Or what everybody else thinks?”

A smile broke on her lips. The smile I could have killed for. I didn’t need her to speak out her answer. I had it. I had her.  Before I knew it happened, my lips had found hers, and she was responding feverishly. God! Hadn’t she grown into a terrific kisser already? And all the other things I yearned to teach her! But I must wait for the wedding. She won’t have it otherwise.

“Do you know how old I am for you,” suddenly I felt the need to confess at least one of my anxieties, “People will wonder what Protim Roychowdhury is doing with a girl bride!”

“Let them wonder.”

“Don’t you wonder, Sarah?”

“No. I don’t. Why should I? We don’t wonder about what has always been the way of our lives. Or what seems like that.”

We were even!

—

To be continued