Rupali found herself staring the medicine cabinets mindlessly while doing the inventory. Since the footfalls were less in the night shift, she had the responsibility of taking inventory periodically and matching it with the records. It was a good way to pass time and to keep herself from falling asleep. But tonight do what she may, she wasn’t able to concentrate. For some reason, the way Paritosh had been glancing at her that morning kept coming back to her and made her uneasy. And then that invitation for the outing. Including her brothers too. She was confused. She didn’t know what the right thing to do was. She could refuse to go. But then Meenal won’t go and Paritosh may cancel the plan for himself and Maya too. She could go with them leaving her brothers behind. But weekends were precious with her family. She didn’t want to compromise on that. And the boys may actually enjoy the outing as Paritosh had suggested. Much more than she would. Didn’t they deserve some indulgence? By themselves the three of them never ventured beyond a park or an occasional movie. Sometimes she paid for their school picnics, but most of the times they had to forgo that too. So yes – she should accept the invite. Why not? He wanted her to come for his reasons. To take care of his daughter. He can very well compensate for it by letting her brothers come along too. Something continued to nag her, but she decided to settle on accepting the invitation.

She saw Mihir approach. He sometimes did that towards the closing hours. They chatted until her replacement arrived and then he dropped her to the bus stop. She was happy to see him. Despite having taken a decision about it, her mind was in an overdrive analyzing the pros and cons of Paritosh’ invitations. Mihir would be a welcome diversion from that. And one shelf not inventoried could be made up for the next day.

He smiled at her and then kissed her. His kisses still felt nothing but a lot of wetness to her. But she had learned to fight the urge to wipe it off.

“One more hour?” he asked; there was an edge in his voice.

She nodded and smiled.

His eyes looked unusually sharp today and she soon knew why.

“My folks aren’t at home,” he said, “Would you like to come home after this?”

She knew what it meant. She had known sooner or later he would ask. But she still didn’t know what she wanted. What was her future, she asked herself. As far as she could see there was nothing exciting coming up. She would continue to slog for years to bring up her brothers. If they turned out all right, she could expect some relief then. But it would be too late to think for herself. She was twenty-four now. If she had to enjoy life, then now was the time. Career, marriage, children were not for her. But perhaps she could steal a few moments of joy and recklessness. The way she had been doing with Mihir all this summer. Why not another step? A summer of recklessness and an hour of passion to be remembered fondly in the long, dull days that lay ahead of her.

“I would,” she told Mihir, “Provided I can bill you for this.” She picked out a packet a condom and tossed it to him.

He grinned, “Careful, aren’t we? Bill it, then.”

—

“Ms. Banerjee!” Maya opened the door for her on Sunday, “And they are?”

Maya’s raised eyebrows and piercing, questioning eyes made Rupali nervous, and she faltered as she said, “My brothers…”

“Please come in,” Paritosh appeared at the door and came to her rescue, “Maya, that’s Soumitra – right? – yes and the other one Sugata. They don’t look alike, but they are twins.”

“Hello Dr. Khanna. Hello, Ma’am.”

Maya nodded stiffly in response and walked into Paritosh’ bedroom.

“Mamma… Mamma…” Meenal came to Rupali and held her hands.

“We are going for an outing today, aren’t we?”  Rupali kneeled to face the child, “We will have fun.”

“Guys,” Paritosh addressed the twins, “Please make yourself comfortable. We are almost ready. We leave in another five minutes.” After ensuring that they were comfortably seated, Paritosh followed Maya to his bedroom.

“We have quite a party, Paritosh,” Maya grinded her teeth as she tried to keep a lid on her annoyance.

“I had to invite them, Maya. It wasn’t fair to expect her to leave them behind on the weekend. She’s their guardian.”

”You could have consulted me.”

Deep down Paritosh knew that he should just apologize and get on with it. But he also felt trapped and that made his quarrelsome.

“I’m trying hard, Maya, to fix things. I’m sorry that I can’t offer you the carefree teenage romance. But this is what my life is. And I can’t change it.”

“Stop playing the victim, Paritosh. All you had to do was to tell me what you were planning. Or do you not trust me to see your point of view?”

“Whatever I was planning, it was for you, for us. Now they are waiting outside. Do you want to go or not?”

Maya closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she looked at Paritosh and said stiffly, “Let’s go!”

—

Paritosh had rented an SUV for the trip. Soumitra and Sugata made themselves comfortable on the back row. Rupali sat with Meenal in the middle one and Maya sat next to Paritosh, who was in the driving seat. As soon as they started, the CD that he had inserted while bringing the car home from the rental shop started playing. It was a CD of Ghazals.

“Is everyone getting bored?” Paritosh asked after a few minutes. He had seen Maya yawn, twins looking bored and Rupali lying back with her eyes closed. “I can tune to FM radio instead,” he continued, “They would air something more contemporary.”

“Yes,” said Maya. “No,” said Rupali at the same time, then changed her response to defer to Maya, “I mean yes. Something contemporary will be nice.”

Paritosh tuned to the local FM radio. On the way they decided to take a tea break. But Meenal wouldn’t agree to get out of the vehicle; so Rupali offered to stay back with her. Paritosh thanked her and left the AC in the car on.

“Shall I get something for your, Didi?” Soumitra asked as he got down.

“No. I’m fine,” she replied.

But after a while he came back with a cup of tea for her. “Dr. Khanna insisted,” he explained, “And he didn’t let us pay for our tea either.”

She nodded.

Soumitra and Sugata sat inside the roadside restaurant with their tea, while Paritosh and Maya walked a little further. Rupali couldn’t take her eyes off them and she hoped that they didn’t notice her gaze. She couldn’t hear them, but they were talking. She finally averted her eyes, when she saw Paritosh and Maya kissing. But not for long. After a while she saw Maya going behind the restaurant, perhaps to use the bathroom and Paritosh walked back to the car. Rupali pretended to be fiddling with her phone and acted startled when he opened the car door and slid into the driver’s seat.

“So you like Ghazals?” he asked, startling her for real. He had earlier not acknowledged her request to not change the CD. She thought he hadn’t paid heed. But obviously he had.

“Baba – I mean my father – was fond of them. He would play Ghazals every evening. I got used to them.”

“Ghazals remind you of him?”

She mumbled her assent.

“My taste is Ghazals is also inherited from my father. Perhaps that’s why they make me feel calm, comforted.”

She smiled on hearing that and nodded. He watched her in the rear-view mirror and knew that she understood. He ached for something. He didn’t quite know what.

—

To be continued