After having convinced himself that he should do something about his feelings for Piyali, Mukundo was no longer restless but he found himself planning one idea after another, and rejecting them all.

When Piyali came back home for Pujo, her first vacation, she asked him why he was still sending her money. Her scholarship was more than enough. “Scholarship is your achievement and I am proud of it. But that money was my commitment. More to Kaku than to you. So, I am fulfilling my commitment. You can save it for a rainy day.”  She was unable to convince him otherwise.

During the same trip, Mohima observed, “Piyali seems more comfortable around you now, don’t you agree, Mukundo? Earlier she was rather shy.”

Mukundo knew her observation to be accurate, but couldn’t have explained that it wasn’t because of her love for him, but just because an old barrier of hatred had finally been lifted. So, he came up with an explanation, “I think stepping out of home has increased her self-confidence.” Mohima bought that. She didn’t pester him about talking to Piyali.

Piyali came back couple of more times for short durations. A year passed. Then she was back for summer vacations, which would last for two months. To spend the vacations gainfully, she had spoken to a professor of Maths at the university and was going to do an internship with him. Nobody kept regular hours during summers; so she had to go to the university only once in a while to discuss the project. Mukundo offered to drive her. “I will also catch up on my work at office on those days,” he said by way of an explanation.

That day, after dropping her at the university, he didn’t stay there. He had to meet a relative staying in that part of the town. So, it was decided that he would visit them and then come back to pick her up.

When it was time, he parked on the road just outside the university gate. Piyali started walking towards him from a shaded spot she was waiting at. But the unthinkable happened before she reached him. A large tractor appeared from nowhere, driving wildly and hit his car at a breakneck speed. It didn’t halt and rushed away as Piyali screamed, “Mukundo Babu!”

—

In the ambulance, Piyali held his hands in one of hers while she used the other one to make calls to his father and her parents.

“Piyali,” she heard his faint voice.

“Mukundo Babu! Just stay with me. You will be all right.”

“I… Piyali, I love you,” he mumbled before passing out again.

“Is he all right?” she asked the medics accompanying them. Her mind was so occupied with the threat to his life that she hardly registered what he had said.

“Please keep talking to him, Ma’am. It will help.”

“Mukundo Babu! Listen to me…”

—

4 days later…

Mukundo opened his eyes and everything appeared foggy in front of his eyes as well as in his mind.

“Mukundo Babu!”

He registered that voice. The last thing he remembered hearing was also that.

“Mukundo Babu!” This time he also felt her touch on his hands, and a shape appeared before his eyes. Slowly the fog cleared.

“Piyali!” His voice sounded faint to his own ears.

“Are you in pain?”

“Yes.”

“I will call the nurse.”

“No. Stay, please.”

“You may need painkillers.”

“What happened to me?”

“There was an accident.”

“How long has it been?”

“Four days.”

“Ma?”

“She will be here soon. I had sent her to take rest for a while. Let me call the nurse now.”

“Okay.”

He drifted off to sleep again.

When he came to next, both Piyali and Mohima were in the room. He also felt better than the last time. Mohima did most of the talking, sitting beside his bed, while Piyali lingered near the window, just at the periphery of his vision. After a while Mohima noticed his eyes trying to catch a glimpse of Piyali. She pressed his hands, smiled at him and whispered so that Piyali couldn’t hear.

“Piyali never left your side in all these days.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. While Mohima had been talking, a scene had played out in his head. And he couldn’t figure out if it was a memory or illusion. Had he said something to Piyali?

“When can I go home, Ma?”

“Doctor thinks as early as tomorrow morning.”

—

When Mukundo had said it at first, Piyali’s mind was hardly in a position to pause and grasp its meaning. But after he had been operated upon and declared stable, she had all the time in the world to ruminate over it – again and again. At first, she was in disbelief. Had she misheard it? Even if not, could he have meant it in some platonic sense? But there was a certain desperation in Mukundo’s declaration that convinced her otherwise. Then for a long time she wondered how she felt about it. She finally decided that she felt very good about it. Then practical considerations started bothering her. Could it really work in the real world? And when he finally woke up, her disbelief returned. She had played out a thousand scenarios for the future in her head earlier. But now all of them seemed ridiculous. She started feeling a frenzied anxiety within her. What if she had imagined it? Or worse, what if she hadn’t?

She took a deep breath and calmed herself down before knocking and entering his room.

“How are you feeling now, Mukundo Babu?” Did she sound shrill in an attempt to sound normal?

“I am alive,” he replied somberly. She pulled up a chair near his bed. He was sitting up sprawled.

She smiled, “You look better than just being alive.”

“Did they ever catch that truck driver?”

“Yes. They did. He was inebriated. Was caught soon. Do you remember the accident?”

“Now that I have heard about it, it seems like I remember things. But I am not sure. You weren’t crying on the way to the hospital, were you?”

She spoke defensively, “I didn’t cry. I never cry.”

“And that’s a very good thing. I wanted to check if I was really recalling things, or making them up from the scenes in the movies. But adaptation of a movie scene would have meant seeing you cry,” he chuckled, “I remember you not crying. So, this must be a real memory.”

She bit her lips without being conscious of it.

“Did you think I was going to die?” he asked after a pause.

“I wasn’t thinking much until they told me that you were stable.”

Silence reigned for a while, before she asked him back, “Did you think you were going to die?”

“Did I make any death-bed confessions?” he tried to hide his question in a joke.

Silence again. Then she spoke, “Perhaps you did!”

“Did you dislike it?”

She just shook her head in reply.

“Then tell me what confession I made, Piyali.”

“You remember it, don’t you?”

“If I remember the wrong thing and I spell it out, it can be disastrous. Right now, the relationship between us is unequal. And I am more powerful here. I can’t afford to make a mistake. But you can say anything to me, Piyali. And even if you are wrong, it won’t affect our existing relationship.”

“But do you really want it said, Mukundo Babu? There must be a reason that it took you a near-death experience to say it.”

“I thought it would make you angry, or uncomfortable. So, you tell me, is it better left unsaid?”

She seemed to take forever to make up her mind and her eyes were glued to the floor throughout. Mukundo struggled to fathom what was going on in her head. Finally, she mumbled, still not looking at him, “We were in the ambulance. You were almost unconscious. But before fully losing consciousness, I think, you said that you loved me.”

—

To be continued