He waited in his office while she settled Kirti in the day care and then came to meet him. The blinds to the office were down, and as soon as she arrived, he called Mrinal to tell him that he expected no interruptions for the rest of the day. Then instead of his usual chair behind the workdesk, he sat down on one of the sofas in the room and motioned for her to sit next to him.

She sat down gingerly. The thread of conversation was broken. The comfort would have to be established again, he realized. Only for a few days, he hoped. And then they would be comfortable in their relationship.

“I was quite surprised, you know,” he said, “And it still surprises me that you were Sunidhi’s friend.”

“I wasn’t,” she responded and then realizing that she had been abrupt, explained, “I mean I wasn’t among her close friends. We knew each other, of course. We were in the same class.”

“The way she had eaten my head off trying to get you a job, I would have thought you were bosom friends.”

Karishma chuckled, “I never understood her really. My life in college was weird and lonely. I was a scholarship student and didn’t really belong to the crowd there. Sunidhi was, of course, the center of the crowd, while I wasn’t even on the periphery. But she was exceptionally sweet to me. She often sought me out, even if just to say ‘hello’. I could never figure out why. When I started looking for a job and was growing desperate, I joined Facebook and started adding everybody I could recognize. She was one of the very few people who responded to my post announcing that I was looking for a job. And she wanted me to meet – well you know now – her Dada. I grabbed the opportunity.”

“How fortunate for me. The way you describe it, my sister seems to have been enamored with you before either me or my brother were. You have almost ensnared my entire family. I can’t wait to see what Baba thinks of you.” Realizing that he might be getting ahead of himself, he quickly added, “In due course, obviously. No pressure.”

“Enamored? She was perhaps just patronizing me. You seem so confident of this entire business. I am nothing like Sunidhi. I am nothing like women in your social circle. Would it not bother you?”

“That you don’t have fake eyelashes and chemically straightened hair?” he laughed, “No. It doesn’t bother me. Although if you wanted to fit in and wanted to acquire those, that would be totally your choice. But I do think Sunidhi was enamored with you. She wouldn’t burn midnight oil to acquire any skills herself. But she does appreciate them in others. I think she appreciated your academic performance.”

“That was accidental. I didn’t have money or permission to go to the parties or movies. So, I studied when I wasn’t helping my mother with household chores. Studying was my escape. It was empowering to be good at something.”

“How did you get stuck in an abusive marriage after all that? Why didn’t you think of having a career after such a spectacular academic performance?”

“The answer may disappoint you,” she replied, looking apprehensive.

“Try me.”

“It was always meant to be that way. Going to that college was a lucky accident. I managed to pass the scholarship exam. But that didn’t change the fact that I came from a background where career is not meant for the girls. Like scores of others, I did my graduation to become eligible for a good marriage. The scholarship, fancy college and good academic performances were stars to be dangled before the potential grooms and their families. After all, everyone wants an educated daughter-in-law who would bring up the grandchildren well. That’s what my parents were planning, that’s what I was working towards and that’s what I achieved. Everybody I knew did that. I had no idea I was walking into an abusive relationship. He had seemed so right, so eligible as a husband…” her voice tailed off.

It wouldn’t be easy to come to this subject again. So, Siddhartha decided to risk pushing, “It took you six years to–”

“If you googled abusive relationship and read up the most typical symptoms, that was my marriage.”

He had already done all the googling.

“Don’t you want to talk about it?”

She buried her head in her hands and recalled. How it had felt romantic in the beginning. The jealousy, the possessiveness.

You are mine. Don’t smile at him and encourage him, he ogles at you.

Don’t talk too much to her, I need your time for myself.

You are mine, and only mine.

I’m sorry I hit you. But you know how angry it makes me if I find you are not there when I need you. I need you so much. I love you so much.

Stop talking to your parents so much. They are not your family any longer. I am. They just fill garbage in your ears against me.

No, they don’t, Vikram. They want me to stay with you.

Who else will you stay with? You want a job? What do you want a job for? Don’t I earn enough for both of us? Don’t you trust me?

I’m sorry that I hit you. I don’t like doing it you know that, don’t you? But you make me do it. Why can’t you just cook a meal properly? Huh? Tell me. Can’t you do that much for me? How I work day in, day out for you.

Have a baby, Karishma. That fixes marriages. You can’t keep gazing into each other’s faces all your life. A baby keeps the relationship together.

Oh! I am so happy. You must rest and not stress yourself about anything. No need to go to your parents’ house. You are much better cared for here. I am there for you. Our house is bigger.

I am going to decorate this room for our boy. Girl? No way. I know we will have a boy. What will I do with a girl? You are the only girl I need.

Stop her from crying, that miserable creature. I can’t stand her. You have one job. To keep her quiet. Can’t you do even that. And when am I going to have my wife back? Are you still my wife? Or is it only that cunt who matters now? I am going to get rid of her right away.

Noooo. Vikram. Stop. She is so little. She will stay quiet. I will make sure. Else I will leave her with my parents. Just tonight, Vikram. Just one night.

Kick! You are so useless. So useless! Why did I ever marry you? If I weren’t so much in love with you, my life would have been so much better.

When Karishma came to, she realized that she hadn’t only been thinking about those days. She had actually been narrating them to Siddhartha. He was holding her hands tight and grating his teeth in anger.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

His expressions softened, “What are you sorry for?”

“I am so messed up. How would I ever move on from that? And to think that it was staring at me all the time. That I could have stopped it all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how he had managed to do it, but I was convinced that it was all my fault. If I tried a bit more, if I were a bit better at something – cooking, cleaning, pleasing him. If I were—I looked up relationship advice, but if there was a warning about what was really happening to me in those columns, I ignored them. It was the risk to my daughter’s life that I couldn’t finally ignore. Then I started acknowledging the problem. But it was hard. What was I to do? Where was I to go? My parents had no money and after my father’s illness were barely managing to survive themselves. I had never held a job. There wasn’t a single paisa in my name. No bank account, no cash, nothing. Even the little jewelry I owned were not with me. It was in a locker to which I had no access. Vikram would bring them when there was a function to attend, he would choose what I should wear and the next morning, it would all go back. I wouldn’t have known how to survive even for a day if I left. But that night, he really would have killed her. I gave her medicines meant for cold to keep her sleeping through the night. I was so scared. What if I had overdosed her. I stole some cash and ran away in the morning. I had no place to go except my parents’ and when I reached there…”

“They wanted you to go back?”

—

To be continued