Unwilling Fighter (Part 5)

Posted 13 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

“Ramesh?”

“Hi Karishma. Why am I not surprised?”

“Thank God! This is still your number. I did not ask for your number last time we met.”

“Not your fault. You were not planning on calling me. Anyway, you can meet him right away.”

“How do you know…”

“I know everything he does Karishma, even if I don’t understand him. Don’t ask me what is going on.”

“I will come to the hotel right away.”

Karishma silently followed Ramesh to Siddharth’s suite. This meeting was not going to happen in the lobby.

Ramesh left them alone after ushering her in. The suite, as expected, was lavishness personified. Although it had a separate room to receive visitors, the meeting was happening in his bedroom.

“Karishma Gupta! What do I owe the pleasure of seeing you here?” his sarcasm was back.

“What do you want?”

“Oh! I want a lot of things. I’m not sure you can satisfy all my needs.” Karishma cringed at the obvious sexual allusion in the way he said “all my needs”.

“I have no interest in satisfying any of your needs. But what was the meaning of the charade in my office today?”

“What? Oh! That was business as usual. I am sure you know. Making movies based on the books is not a new thing.”

“And you didn’t tell them anything like I recommended the book or that I am writing the screenplay?”

“You have to get a foot in the door.”

Foot in the door indeed! Siddharth Sen would have difficulty getting a foot in the door of a struggling publishing house and would need her name to gain acceptance! But she wasn’t there to fight with him. She came back to her business. “So, you are indeed going to acquire the right for the book at the price you promised?”

“I should if all goes well.”

“And it has nothing to do with me writing the screenplay?”

“It has everything to do with you writing the screenplay?”

“What?”

“I had to tell them you were writing the screenplay. Your MD agreed that you were the best person to write the screenplay as you have edited the book.”

MD would agree to anything he thought Siddharth Sen would like to hear to sell those right.

“Why are you playing these games?”

“You know what Karishma. This publishing house desk seems to be killing the writer in you. Your vocabulary has become very limited. How many times have you uttered the same words ‘playing games’ since we have met? Anyway, I do business. I don’t play games. If a proposed deal doesn’t work out, I move on.”

“After giving high hopes to the owner of a struggling publishing house and then quashing those hopes?”

“Don’t blame me for that. If it happens, it will be your doing. And in fact, now that you are here, let’s end the suspense. Tell me if the deal is on or not.”

He had trapped her again. Of course, he won’t give her time. And once again, she did not have only herself to think of. She could not forget the elated faces of her boss – the chief editor and the MD. And how many times had they thanked her already.

“Can I work from here?”

“No. You work with me. From your old office.”

She hated that smirk.

“My mother is alone. She will shift with me. I won’t stay in your house.”

“You father…”

“..is dead.” Her voice was stony.

Siddharth just nodded; his face was expressionless.

“I will coordinate with Ramesh for the formalities and shifting,” she said curtly and walked out of the room.

There was no smirk on Siddharth Sen’s face. But Karishma assumed that it was there.

“What are you wearing for the press event tonight?” Siddharth asked Karishma. They were going to announce the movie she had been working on in a grand party thrown for press, cast and crew.

“Why should I be discussing that with you?” Karishma felt awkward, but tried to speak confidently, “I am not on the cast.”

“You are in the crew.”

“I see. Are you going around discussing the dresses of over hundred crew members for the party? No. I guess its only me who you need to boss around all the time.”

“I have asked a straight forward question,” he was annoyed.

“And I am not answering it.”

“Like hell you are.”

“Why should I?”

“Because you are going to the party with me and all the cameras will capture you too.”

“What?”

“I want to see your dress.”

“I am not going with you.”

“That is not for you to decide.”

Karishma got so annoyed that she threw away the bounded copy of script she was carrying on the ground and cried, “I am not going with you. What will you do?”

She felt his animalistic grip again as he pulled her and pinned her against the nearest wall, “You are going with me. And you do not want to know what I will do if you don’t. Now pick up the script, place it where it should be, call Natasha and ask her to deliver the dress I have selected for you.”

His grip left a mark on her wrists. It was so strong that the blood circulation had almost stopped beyond it. And there was something so dangerous in his eyes and Karishma got scared. What will he do, she tried to reason with herself. But her heart refused to be strong. He could do anything. He could rape her and still get away with it. He could even harm her mother and get away with it. That thought gave her goosebumps. She picked up the phone and called Natasha – the costume designer of the production house. Natasha came with a white saree, ready with the accessories, even shoes in couple of sizes as she wasn’t sure which one would fit her. A tailor had accompanied Natasha to adjust the blouse for Karishma.

“Smile, if you do not want nasty headlines in tomorrow’s tabloids,” Siddharth had told her before getting out of his car. She remembered grudgingly walking around by his side trying to smile and being offered a drink. And then… Everything was hazy. Where was she now? She looked around and was flabbergasted to find herself in that outhouse room she so hated. Why wasn’t she at home? She looked around and found that it was already twelve noon. She ran out of the room to find Siddharth walking towards her.

“Someone had spiked your drink,” he explained matter-of-factly, “Doesn’t look like you can hold much.”

“Why am I here? My mother will be worried…”

“She has been informed. Why don’t you go back to the room, freshen up and then we will talk.”

Karishma was feeling very angry, she did not like that he seemed to be control, but her mind was still very foggy, she had a headache and she was unable to think clearly. She went back and decided to freshen up.

“Let me drop you home,” Siddharth was still in the corridor when she came out.

Karishma was surprised. Since when did he become this chivalrous? That too for her.

“Not needed,” she replied curtly.

“I am dropping you home,” he replied. “And it is needed.”

Karishma sighed. She was tired and she spoke out her mind aloud, “I am tired… of you… of fighting you. It doesn’t make sense to me and still I am stuck in it. Why?”

He did not reply. She hadn’t expected him to reply. She followed him silently to his car. He asked her to tell driver the address. Bodyguards followed in a car behind them.

“Thank you,” she said when the car stopped in front of her apartment building and got out of the car. She was surprised when Siddharth also got out.

“Where are you doing?”

“To your home.”

“What? Why?”

“You need to learn to be a more polite host,” he replied and walked on with the air of a man who knew where he was going. Did he even know which flat she stayed in? She let him walk ahead and it turned out that he did indeed know. He walked up the stairs, instead of taking the elevator, and rang the bell of her flat. Karishma was looking around sheepishly as the few people who were around at that time did recognize who she was accompanying. Karishma did not meet their eyes to avoid answering any questions and the body guards made sure that the curious onlookers did not come in the way of the super-star.

Her mother’s eyes shone when she saw them at the door.

“Oh. Please, come in, come in. Karishma. Darling, are you all right? Siddharth told me that you had fallen sick after eating something. What did you eat?”

Karishma felt like her head was spinning. Her mother was so cool as if Siddharth coming to their home was not a big deal at all.

“What’s going on? When have the two of you met earlier?” she asked.

Her mother closed the door behind them and hugged her. “You are crazy dear,” she said, “Why were you scared of sharing it with me? Who can object to someone like him?”

“Scared of sharing what? Object to whom?”

“Come on, now. Siddharth told me everything this morning.”

“What? What have you told her?” she directed her question to Siddharth.

“I’m sorry Karishma. I know you wanted to give it time. But newspapers picked it up after yesterday’s party. And I thought it would upset Mrs. Gupta. So, it was better to come clean before her. So, I spoke to her the first thing in the morning.”

“Spoke about what?” she asked as she picked up the newspaper lying on the table nearby.

“About us getting married!”

Karishma slumped into the chair. She wasn’t sure what had shocked her more. What Siddharth said or what she saw in the newspaper. They had printed a complete love story there. Her working in the TV division, Siddharth having a crush on her, transferring her to work under him, their love story blossoming during that period, them having a lover’s tiff, her fleeing to Delhi, him following her and getting her back… And the photos of them in the previous evening’s party – her in a white saree and him in a black suit – was splashed all over the paper. One of them was of the time when she had fallen sick due to spiked drink and he was carrying her away with the help of his body guards.

“This is not true Ma. It’s rubbish,” she pleaded with her mother.

“I told you, I am not angry. You don’t need to be defensive. I would have preferred, if it wasn’t so public with all the spice media adds. But that is the part and parcel of the industry, right?”

Were those her own words or had Siddharth Sen hypnotized her mother?

“Look Karishma,” Siddharth spoke as if they had been discussing it since ever, “I know you didn’t want this and I had promised to you that things will not get out till you are ready. But someone leaked the stuff. If we try to deny it, more stories will crop up. Unnecessary scandal. It’s best that we just announce our engagement and wedding right away.”

Karishma looked from him to her mother unable to say anything. The more she wanted to get away from this man, the more he tightened his net around her. She felt like shouting at him and asking him to leave her alone. She was about to do that, when a different thought occurred to her. He was a shrewd man. If he wanted to make her life miserable, he would do it one way or the other. The thing about more scandal in media was not a statement, but a threat. If he wasn’t going to leave her alone, she could at least exact a revenge on him. And what better position to do it in than to be his wife. As an outsider, she would always be weak.

She smiled surprising Siddharth, who was getting ready with more ammunition to render her defenses or oppositions ineffective.

“Great! I never thought it would be so easy. As usual, I will let you figure out what to do and when. Right now I need to sleep. I still have a headache.”

She hugged her mother and walked to her room.

Siddharth looked after her. He wasn’t satisfied. Where did that sudden acceptance come from? She was supposed to fight and then get defeated.

To be continued

Unwilling Fighter (Part 4)

Posted 10 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

“Where were you?” he demanded. He was sitting on her bed, when she came back after a few hours from their last encounter. Both their eyes were red. His from drinking and hers from crying.

“That’s none of your business!” she had lost her meekness and it drove Siddharth mad.

“You live under my roof…”

“I won’t from now on…”

“Ramesh keeps his job,” his tone was suddenly reconciliatary, which was quite out-of-place in their otherwise fiery exchange.

“So what?” she opened her cupboard to take her clothes out.

“What are you doing?”

“Packing to leave.”

“Don’t you dare…”

“I am doing it and I would prefer some privacy.”

He became physical once again, as he grabbed her.

“You can not leave.”

“You can’t keep me here like a slave.”

“I will show you what I can do,” he dragged her away from the cupboard towards the bed.

“Let me go, Sir,” she cried.

He pushed her violently on the bed and before she could get away, he was on top of her. He covered her mouth and her cries got stifled. He was too strong for her, and despite her best efforts, she could not stop him as he literally tore clothes off her body. Then suddenly, when she had all but given up, he pulled back. He shot an angry glance at her and left.

Karishma cried piteously for several minutes, before she got up to pack and go home. To get a last glimpse of her father’s dead body. She had been away these last few hours making arrangement for her departure. She will not be coming back to these wretched people and this wretched city again. Her father had made his permanent arrangements now. He didn’t need her help, or her insurance cover! Ramesh had already informed her, and Siddharth had confirmed, that he kept his job. She had no reasons to regret leaving.

Three months later…

“Ramesh? What are you doing here?” Karishma was surprised to see Ramesh waiting when she came out of her office on a street in Daryaganj after finishing the day’s work.

“Running around publishers’ offices begging them to publish my book.”

“Huh?”

“I’m joking, of course.”

“Right. So, what brings you here?”

“I have come to meet you?”

Karishma responded with a hollow laughter, “You must be a sadist. Last time we were face to face, you had almost lost your much prized job. And you have come to meet me now.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to do it, but its my job at stake again. Boss wants to meet you.”

“You are kidding me.”

“I am not. He is in Delhi.”

“Take him to see Qutub Minar, then. It is a good shooting location. What does he want by meeting me?”

“I don’t know. But you have to meet him once, for my sake.”

“I trust you Ramesh. Tell me honestly, what is going on?”

“I wish I knew. With you, his behaviour has always been odd. I can not figure anything out.”

“I don’t want to see his face again, Ramesh. Even if I got a chance to punish him for what he did… I do not want to see him.”

“Just once…”

“I couldn’t talk to my father before he died. All because of that maniac, who was treating me like a slave, a prisoner…”

“Sorry? You father…”

“Yes. The same day. And when I started to pack to come back after, he tried to…”

“I am sorry. I really am…”

“I know. To your credit, you are very humane despite working with…”

“I should leave now…”

“Hey. Let’s have a cup of tea at least…”

“He is waiting for me to come back,” his voice was tense and sad.

“Ramesh. Wait… Would me not going create trouble for you?”

“You know his tantrums well. I will handle, don’t worry…”

“No. Wait. I will come with you. Can’t see you in trouble again because of me.”

“Karishma. I…”

“Let’s go.”

“I’m not going to his room, Ramesh. If you have a problem, just ask the reception to call him and I will tell him that…”

“No. You wait in the coffee shop. I will talk to him…”

“I am fine in the lobby.”

“As you wish.”

Karishma did not look up from the magazine she had picked up when Siddharth Sen came to the lobby and sat across her on a sofa. His body-guards stood slightly away from them. Despite his large sunglasses, many people in the lobby recognized them. Several eyes turned their way. Some people even moved towards him, but were kept away by his body guards.

“It would be better to have some privacy,” he said.

Karishma did not react.

“How have you been?” he asked.

No reaction still.

“Why aren’t you replying?” he sounded annoyed.

“Have I been summoned for these small talks? In that case, I would like to make a move,” she replied curtly looking him directly in his eyes.

“You came away without telling me.”

“I am not explaining. Good Bye!” she got up to leave.

“Wait!” his voice was forceful and she did stop, “I have come to mend things.”

Karishma sat down and sighed. “Explain to me something Mr. Sen. Do you have any confusions about my identity? I am just a simple girl with a simple life. I am not an heiress. I am not an aspiring actress. I have no stature in the society or film industry. Why do you want to play any games with me? Broken or mended, why would any relationship with me matter to you? I am a nobody. A nobody, who didn’t take you to the court for attempted ra..” she chewed her words as she realized they were in a public place, “What can you gain by playing with my life? If you are doing it even for fun, do it with somebody who is at least an equal to you. Even for an ego-maniac, a sadist that you are, what fun can destroying a nobody’s life provide to you?”

Siddharth did not flare up as she had expected him to. He just stared at her with inscrutable expressions on his face.

“I think we are done here,” Karishma said after giving him a moment to react and then left. Siddharth also went back to his suite. He did not say or do anything, but his long strides told Ramesh that he was angry and agitated. Ramesh decided to use an old trick from his book.

“Boss.”

“Yes?”

“Anita is here.” she was his favourite escort in Delhi.

“Who asked her to come?” he demanded.

“I… I did… I thought…”

“Don’t do it again. Send her back.”

“R.. Right Boss.”

The narrow street to her office was jam-packed, a sight she had never seen before. She was already late. She did not stop to ask the reason or overhear the murmurs and just made her way to the office, assuming that the crowd was made up of onlookers of some road-rage fight. Then she spotted the car and the body-guards. And she realized that the body-guards were standing at the gate of her office, stopping crazy teenagers from entering the building.

She made her way to the gate, but was stopped by a bodyguard.

“Nobody is allowed to go in. He will come out and give autographs later,” he said curtly.

“I work here. I am not a fan of your boss,” she snapped.

“You id card, please.”

“I have never shown my id card to anyone in this office. Stop being a jerk and let me go.”

“No…” before he could complete, he was interrupted by his companion, who had been busy with another group of swooning fans till then.

“Let her go,” he murmured.

“You sure?”

“Yes!”

“Karishma!” her boss practically jumped at her when she entered the office, “You are good at keeping secrets, aren’t you?”

“What secrets?”

“Aww! The innocent girl. You never told us that you were doing screenplay for Siddharth Sen and that you had recommended adoption of one of our books.”

“I…”

“But it was a great surprise. MD is so elated. It seems Siddharth Sen has made a very good offer for the film rights of the book. We and the author will be rich. But of course, you will be richer. Working for Sen Motion Pictures. And not on a boring daily soap. The next block buster… Wow!”

Karishma walked to her desk without replying. More games? What did he want? And why did everyone around her have to become a part of his games as well. How would all these people feel when they would come to know that all of this is just Siddharth Sen’s way of getting back at her. And for what? Nobody knew. Why can’t he leave her alone?

To be continued

Unwilling Fighter (Part 3)

Posted 10 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

It had been two more days of wait before she was ushered into his office again.

“Ms. Karishma Gupta,” Siddharth faked such warm enthusiasm that Karishma cringed, “Please sit down.”

“Thank you, Sir,” she took a chair and sat on the edge.

“What a coincidence. My assistant was just telling me about this writer, who used to work for us in the Films division. Had once tried to pass off somebody else’s work as his own. When we caught him, he had the balls to tell us that he doesn’t care. He will get a job elsewhere. Now, we don’t want such people in the industry, do we? Your association has just banned him. Fair thing, don’t you think so?”

Karishma gulped. Was that a hint asking her to stop sending around her resumes? Not that she was getting any responses anyway.

“Don’t you think so?” Siddharth repeated his question, when she did not answer.

“Yes Sir,” her voice quivered.

“Of course. I knew you were intelligent. So, what were we to discuss?”

“My job, Sir.”

“Ah! Yes. I am so sorry. I completely forgot about it. May be we could discuss this tomorrow.”

“Sir. Nobody has been hired to replace me yet. If I could just get that job back…”

“I’m sorry Karishma. That is not possible. We’ll have to think of something else. Why are you in such a hurry?”

She had to try hard to not react to all the humiliation. But she managed to do it and replied without choking on her words, “My insurance will run out in a month, Sir. I need it for my father’s treatment.”

“Right, right… And its a pretty expensive treatment, isn’t it.”

Obviously he remembered, but he was enjoying torturing her.

“Yes Sir,” she replied meekly.

“Hmm… We must do something then. You father should not suffer. That would be very sad. Here is the thing. I need someone to manage my office at home. Be an admin cum assistant to me, you know. Only I work from there, so I don’t hire a full team of staff. My housekeeper is looking after it right now. But she doesn’t quite understand the professional settings. Would you like to take it up?”

Karishma sounded unsure.

“I know. This is not a position that will usually earn you the same salary as a daily soap writer. But let’s say we will maintain your salary. And your insurance, of course. You will be on the payroll for the same company.”

Karishma sighed. If a demotion was what was needed to keep her insurance and salary, so be it.

“Yes Sir. I would take it up.”

“That’s great. But yeah – I forgot to add a little detail.”

“Sir?” Karishma was apprehensive again. He was hell-bent upon making her life difficult!

“You will have to stay in servant quarters.” The way he said “servant quarters” made her flush with insult. He was showing her her position. Servant!! “It is – you see – not a 9-to-5 job,” he continued, “It is a 24/7 job. I work from there all the time. So, I may need you anytime.” ‘I may need you anytime’ was again said in way that made it sound like he was he was hiring a mistress. “And there are no promised holidays or vacations. You will have to get my approval if you need one.”

What was it? A slavery contract? She could go back to Delhi. Getting a job in a publishing house there won’t be difficult. Even her old employer would take her back. But… Papa’s treatment! Her hands were tied. And her tongue was tied too for a few moments.

“Yes?” Siddharth urged her to answer.

“Can… I… tell you tomorrow, Sir?”

“Of course, you can. But if my assistant has found someone else to do the job by then…”

The ego-maniac. Karishma had no clue what she was getting into. But… But there was no other way… And surely Siddharth Sen can not afford a scandal. If it does turn out to be something totally unacceptable, she could just leave.

“I accept it, Sir. When should I start?”

“Right away. Why don’t you wait outside. My assistant will help you with the formalities and also arrange to take you to your new workplace.”

“Yes Sir. Thank you, Sir,” Karishma mumbled and went out the office without waiting to see the smirk on Siddharth’s face.

“I hope you are comfortable,” Karishma was startled by sudden appearance of Siddharth as she was settling her stuff in.

“Y.. Yes Sir.”

“My assistant thought it was better for you to stay in the outhouse. My office is downstairs; so you will be easily accessible to me all the time.”

The writer in her always analyzed his choice of words. Ramesh was the name of his assistant. And he never referred to him by his name. It was always ‘my assistant’. And then the ‘easily accessible’ phrase. What was she? Some file? Some object that he wanted to be ‘easily accessible’.

What as happening to her? Within a week, her simple and straight-forward life had turned upside down. And right now she was pretty much at the mercy of this psychopathic man. She had always thought that such things did not happen in modern times. Apparently she was wrong. She had to get out of this mess. Finding another job in the same industry was not going to happen with Siddharth Sen being after her life. He might even get her banned by the association, as he had threatened indirectly. Going back to publishing industry was not going to earn her enough. She may have to go out of her comfort zone. Probably pick up a job at one of the call-centers. She had always looked down upon those jobs. Mindless – she had always called them. But desperate times call for desperate measures. A call-center job could not be worse than the situation she was in right now. Standing in the comfortable outhouse owned by the Siddharth Sen – and yet fearing when the ground below her feet would disappear.

“There are a bunch of scripts lying on my desk downstairs. All submitted by new writers. I need you to read through them and hand over the ones you think are good. I need it done by the nine in the morning.”

Relief and anxiety hit Karishma together. At last she won’t be mopping the floors of his office. Going through the script was a job she would be comfortable with. But did he say he needed it done by nine in the morning. She quickly looked at the huge clock on the wall. It was already half past ten at night.

“How many are there?”

“15-20 – I don’t know. Go check for yourself.”

After the day spent in waiting for him, bearing his humiliation, then shifting her stuff (as he won’t allow her even a day to do it later), she had to spend the night going through the scripts. Wonderful! He does intend to make is a 24/7 job, she rued. But at least, her health insurance was safe! Ramesh had told her that she hadn’t been officially fired from her last job. They had just ‘transferred’ her to a new position. So, there were no complications there.

Karishma was woken up by some noise right outside the office door. She realized that she had fallen asleep on the desk itself. She looked around and rushed into the attached bathroom to wash her face. She came out just as Siddharth was entering through the door. He looked at her curiously, but didn’t say anything. She also ignored the awkwardness of coming out of his bathroom, hastened towards the computer and fired a printout. He kept watching her silently, as she took the printout to him.

“This is a short assessment of each of those scripts…”

“I hadn’t asked for it.”

“I have sorted them in the order of quality – as far as I could judge. Three that I thought were good are in the separate pile.”

“I hadn’t asked for the report.”

“I just thought… it would be good to explain my assessment.”

“You look disoriented.”

“I… I had fallen asleep.”

“Come back in an hour.”

“Yes Sir.” Karishma was relieved. She needed time to freshen up.

“Where is my schedule for the day?” Siddharth barked as soon as she came back.

“I… I don’t know.”

“Who will know then?”

What all was she supposed to do here, she wondered. Didn’t he already have an assistant?

“I will call Ramesh and find out from him.”

“You are supposed to do it before I come.”

She just nodded and went to call Ramesh up.

“Why is he asking you for the schedule?” Ramesh was surprised.

“I have no clue, Ramesh. What’s going on?”

He sighed, “Never mind. I am sending you the e-mail. But I don’t know what is he doing there. All his meetings are here.”

“Shift the auditions and look tests here and cancel other meetings,” Siddharth said when she informed him of his schedule.

“There are some 50+ girls coming for auditions, Sir. Shifting at the last moment…”

“If they are not any smarter than you, if they don’t know what opportunity they have got, and if they are not willing to take that opportunity, that’s not my problem.”

Karishma had to bite her lips to stop herself from retorting. Ramesh was also annoyed when she told him about changes in the plans. But he had worked too long with Siddharth to question his decisions or moods. He roped in couple of more people and between them and Karishma, they managed to call all the girls and inform them about the change of venue. Karishma felt that most of them were excited by an invitation to come to his home. Ramesh with his practised patience canceled or rescheduled other meetings. Then he also came to Siddharth’s home and worked with the security to ensure smooth entry to the participants.

“What on earth is going on?” Diksha came to the outhouse office and was surprised at the commotion there.

“Auditions for the movie, Ma’am,” one of the staff informed her.

“Auditions? Here? Since when? Karishma?” she suddenly noticed her employee, “What are you doing here?”

“She is helping me run this office,” Siddharth came to the spot and saved Karishma from some embarrassing explanations.

“What the hell, Bro? You are poaching from your own company?”

“Let’s discuss this later, Diksha. You have just come back. You must be tired. Why don’t you go and take rest.”

“I think I need to go to the office and figure out what else have you turned upside down in my absence. And Karishma, we need to talk…”

“There is no need to talk,” Siddharth spoke in such fierce tone that it silenced even Diksha.

“All right. We’ll talk then,” she pointed towards Siddharth and herself, “And I am not staying here..” She left in a huff..

“I don’t understand you Karishma? You declined an offer to act with him and then you took up this job? Why would anyone do that?” Ramesh asked her. It had been a month of bearing Siddharth’s tantrums and she interacted a lot with Ramesh. They had developed good camaraderie.

“He is a jerk, isn’t he? Why do you work with him?” Karishma’s tone was so sharp that it startled Ramesh. But he responded calmly, “Several reasons. Pay is good. Over time, I have come to understand how to work with him. So, it isn’t that bad. And if you want to be in this industry, you don’t antagonize Siddharth Sen.”

“Right!”

“Right? So, which of these is your reason?”

“None. I have already antagonized him and this is my punishment, not choice.”

“How did you manage to antagonize him? Sure – you are no stranger to the industry?”

“I couldn’t have imagined in my worst nightmare that refusing to act would be such a blow to his ego.”

“He is so mad at you because you refused to act?”

“You sound surprised. I thought you have known him for so long…”

“I have seen him crush his rivals, the way his father would never have dreamt of doing. I have seen him… sorry to say… but exploit the girls desperate to act. But trying to crush someone who is…” Ramesh stopped as he realized he didn’t have a good word in mind. But Karishma completed it for him, “who is a nobody.”

“Well. Yeah. That is too odd even for him.”

“I also never imagined that someone of his stature… But I guess pettiness has nothing to do with your stature… It’s in you…”

“What’s your plan, then?”

Her face clouded at that.

“My plan? I am… probably waiting… for my father to die…” she choked.

“Hey… Karishma… Stop crying. What is it?”

“I am not in love with this industry Ramesh. I would love to go back to my desk in a publishing house. But I can’t manage to lose insurance cover for even a day. My father is fatally ill and is undergoing expensive treatment. I am scared of stepping out of Boss’ sight even for another job interview. What if I don’t get that job and he carries out his threat of firing me again. To make sure my father is being treated, I can’t take even a day off to go see him in Delhi. Because I am at the mercy of the great Siddharth Sen. I…”

She lost all strength and leaned on him. Ramesh hugged her lightly to comfort her.

“Ramesh!!” They separated startled on hearing Siddharth shout, “Leave now!”

“Boss…” Ramesh was tongue-tied. What was his boss thinking and whatever he thought, why should he get angry?

“You are fired!” Siddharth declared menacingly and walked away.

Karishma glanced quickly at a flabbergasted Ramesh and ran after Siddharth.

“You can’t do that!” she grumbled.

“Yeah? Since when did it become your call what I can or can not do?”

“If he goes, I go too,” she said not knowing if it was a threat at all.

“I see. Someone is not bothered about her father…”

“My father would never want to be treated at the cost of an honest man losing his job…”

“Sure. And I am so worried about you leaving, right?” Siddharth was sarcastic.

“Once I leave Mr. Siddharth Sen, I have no reasons to be discreet. Media would love to gobble up controversial stories about you. How you treat your employees would be for everyone to know. A lawsuit or two won’t hurt either…”

All his sophisticated sarcasm went away. He pulled her harshly and pinned her against a wall. With an animalistic anger and threat in his demeanour, he growled, “Don’t you dare threaten me. You have no idea what I can do.”

His physical attack on her visibly shook her and she could not utter a word as he walked away. She went back to where she had left Ramesh. But he was no longer there. Just then her mobile rang. The call was from her home.

To be continued

Unwilling Fighter (Part 2)

Posted 14 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

As if all the annoyance she was already feeling was not enough, she had to wait for over an hour before Siddharth finally met her.

“What’s your problem, Karishma?” he asked as soon as she entered his office.

“Why are you asking me that? I don’t have a problem. Your casting team seems to have one though. They think you have recommended me for the look test…”

“They are right.”

Karishma took a deep breath to control her irritation. She tried to speak calmly, “You probably don’t remember me. I am not an actress; I am a writer…”

“I know who you are. I don’t waste time on people I don’t want to meet…”

“Excuse me?”

“I asked them to call you for look test. Let’s do it right away…”

“Hang on. When have you seen me act?”

“I haven’t and I don’t care. I can teach you enough acting…”

“Sir. With due respect, I have no aspirations to act.”

Siddharth laughed condescendingly, “I can understand. You are too shocked right now. And probably nervous. Come back tomorrow.”

Karishma lost her temper at that. “This is heights of presumption. I am not coming back and you don’t understand a thing. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Can I leave now?”

Siddharth looked at her curiously, “Yes, you can. But you will come back.”

Karishma did not reply and stormed out of his office.

“Where are you Karishma? How come not in the office?” Mou called her the next morning.

“I… I am at the CCD.”

“What’s wrong? Your voice is…”

“Can you come here for a few minutes Mou? Please.”

“Yeah sure. You stay there. I won’t take more than five minutes.”

“Fired? You are fired? Why? When?” Mou was aghast when Karishma told her why she wasn’t in the office.

“HR manager asked me to come early to the office today. And he just said… supposedly for performance reason.”

“Performance reason? Who decided that? Diksha Ma’am is not here. Ritesh Sir is not here.”

“I asked him that too. But he won’t offer any explanation. I begged him to let me talk to Ritesh Sir. To wait for his return. But nothing worked… He escorted me as I collected my stuff and went out of the building. What is going on?”

“I can not imagine… Performance reason? Seriously? Your episodes are getting the highest TRPs. What the hell is going on… Hey. What happened yesterday at Sid Sir’s office?”

Karishma got tears in her eyes as she recalled the last evening. She told Mou about her encounter with Siddharth in brief.

“He got you fired because you refused to take a look test?” Mou asked.

“I don’t know Mou. I can not imagine somebody of his stature stooping to this level. I mean… I am a nobody. Why should he even bother?”

“He is known to be egoistic.”

“I… I tried my best to be polite. What should I do? Mou – the worst thing is the way they have done it. Performance reasons? How will I even get another job. And you know about Papa’s health… Health insurance is gone. Even if I get a contract job or something, where will I…”

“Hey. Look – I know it is unfair. But if Sid Sir is behind this, you could try apologizing to him…”

“You think that will help?”

“Worth a try. If you don’t mind…”

“I don’t mind anything right now. I need my job and that insurance…”

“Then do it.”

Karishma tried taking an appointment with Siddharth on phone. But his assistant won’t give her one.

“I suggest you come here and wait for him. If he has time between meetings and shoots, he would probably meet you. There is no way I can fit an appointment in the calendar for you.”

She waited in his office from morning till evening for next three days. She had been given one month’s salary and her health cover was also available in that period. But she needed to do something about it before that period ran out. The expensive treatment her father was going through would not be possible without the health insurance. That was the reason she had taken up a full-time job writing for a daily soap, rather than trying some more interesting work which won’t give the same security of income and benefits.

Finally on the fourth day, she was called in his office.

“Ah! Who do I see here? Ms. Karishma Gupta? I thought you weren’t coming back.”

His taunt was not lost on her. But humiliation is not what worried her the most at that moment.

“Sir. I…”

“Yea Ma’am? How can I help you?”

“I am really sorry if I hurt you with my behavior the other day…”

“Hurt me? You think you have the power to hurt me? Heights of presumption, I must say…”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way… It’s just… Probably I wasn’t polite. I’m really sorry for that. What you had offered was… obviously… an extra-ordinary opportunity…”

“It’s gone now.”

“I know… I just… Sir. My father is seriously ill and is undergoing treatment. I need my job and health insurance to cover the bills. I apologize to you for my misbehaviour. But please don’t make my father suffer because of that. Please give me my job back. I will do anything…”

“I’m afraid that is gone too.”

Karishma bit her lips to prevent herself from crying as well as shouting in anger, “Sir. I am ready for any punishment. But this job…”

“Why don’t you come back tomorrow and we can discuss your options.”

“Y… Yes Sir. What time should I come?”

“Looks like you are already very busy…”

“N… No Sir. I will come here and wait for you.”

“Great. Now, excuse me.”

To be continued

Unwilling Fighter (Part 1)

Posted 14 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

Author’s Note: This is not a fan fiction. Characters are different, but you should be able to spot the inspiration from GHSP and MB-EIEJ. 🙂

“It can not be a coincidence,” Siddharth Sen spoke out aloud while watching last week’s recorded episodes of his production house’s serial, “Does Ritesh get creative every third week?” An idea struck him and he saw the credits of all the episodes for the week. Then he took out some more DVDs from a cupboard and checked the credits for the episodes on them too. Then he called Diksha, his sister.

“Yes Bro! Hold your complaints about the serial, okay? I’m pretty sure our ratings are going to skyrocket this week,” she said even before he had the chance to say hello.

“Ritesh doesn’t write all our episodes?” he asked her.

“He is the story and script writer.”

“That’s not the answer. I see another name being credited in each episode and it keeps changing every week.”

“Is there a problem?”

“Why do we do that? That’s the reason the story keeps going here and there.”

“Bro. We are producing twenty-two minutes of content, five days a week. Do you think it is possible for a mortal human to write all that content given our deadlines? We do not have the luxury you have in making films. One person just can not do it. But Ritesh supervises everyone who is writing, gives the overall direction to the story and personally approves the story and screenplay.”

“How many people, sub-writers should I say, does he employ?”

“Three.”

“And they take turns in writing the story for a week each?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. Bye.”

“You are not going to say anything to Ritesh, are you?” Diksha was worried.

“Of course not. This is your project. You know I won’t interfere.”

“Yes.”

“That doesn’t mean I condone creating the sub-standard content that we are creating with the serial.”

“Not again, Bro.”

“Right. Bye.”

Siddharth sighed after disconnecting the call. He had inherited Sen Motion Pictures from their father Goutam Sen and had carried on the legacy left by their father very well. They produced movies – mass-market romance and action as well as those catering to the now emerging “multiplex market”. Siddharth himself had emerged as a super-star in the industry acting in his own production house’s as well as other movies. Even at 38, his popularity was not going down. And then Diksha had come up with the idea of making TV serials. He hadn’t been comfortable with the idea, but her logic could not be defied. TV was big, risk was shared with the channel. Unlike the super-hit or super-flop economics of movies, producing serials meant continuous, assured income.

“And TV serials connect with an audience, even your mass-market movies do not connect to!” she had an argument beyond economics. It was decided that she would run the show there and he had to leave it at that. He had a weakness for her. Fourteen years younger to him, she was already a sharp woman of business. But for him, she was a kid sister. Despite sticking to his word about not interfering with her project, he did keep an eye on her all the time. It was not possible to watch the episodes as they aired. But he made it a point to record them and watch them later. He hated the content. He never watched any other serials. But there was a pattern he could not miss. Every third week the screenplay and dialogs were better. They showed a touch of realism otherwise completely absent. The characters became tolerable and the writing showed a glimmer of brilliance – something that wasn’t destroyed even by the constraints of writing for a daily soap. Earlier he used to complain about the inconsistency of the characters, but Diksha knew her business. She wasn’t worried about his snob-stand.

“My audience is happy and is lapping it up. It is already number 3 across all channels on the TRP chart. And we will be number 1 soon,” she would say.

He still continued to watch and whine – to himself when she wouldn’t listen. Until he noticed the pattern that every third week, he actually liked something about the show. Soon he had pin-pointed it to the screenplay and dialogs. After going through the credits that day and talking to Diksha about the multiple writer, he knew what, rather who, made the serial watchable every third week.

“Madame Karishma Gupta. Is you screenplay ready? We need to send it to the channel for approval.”

“Give me two more hours Mou…”

“Ms. Perfectionist. I am sorry. I can’t. I know you have a version finalized and you are working on making it better. But babes – we don’t have time for that. No. Really. But I assure you – someday you will write for a movie of Sen Motion Pictures and then you will have all the freedom to perfect your art.”

“Right. I will write for Sen Motion Pictures – why not? You have the connections you will use for me, won’t you?” Karishma smiled as she mailed her the last version of her screenplay. The improvements she was working on will go as a fan fiction on her anonymous blog as usual.

“Some day Babes. Some day, I would be acting – what I am made for. And not running around doing administrative work. And I will be paired opposite one and only one – Siddharth ‘Sid’ Sen. Wait and watch.”

“Of course, I am waiting. How else will I get my big writing break, if not by writing for your debut movie.”

Karishma and Mou shared a friendly laughter and Mou went back to her work. But she was back within next five minutes.

“Oh God! Dear perfectionist. What would it take for you to keep your desk also perfect, and clean, for a change?”

“What happened?”

“Sky has fallen. Sid Sir is coming to the office.”

“So? He must be coming to meet Diksha Ma’am.”

“Diksha Ma’am is in Paris. Her assistant is going helter-skelter ever since the call has come.”

“So, are you I see.”

“Of course, I am. Apparently he wants to see the office, meet the staff…”

“Oh God!” Sudhakar, another writer on the team sitting in the cubicle next to Karishma’s, exclaimed, “I have heard that he always complains about the story and screenplay. What if…”

“Chill Sudhakar,” Karishma spoke calmly, “Ritesh Sir is not here either. He won’t bother meeting us. And Mou – Calm down. What do you want us to do? Clean up our desks, right? Consider it done. I’m sure he is not going to check the coffee machines in the office.” Everyone laughed at that. The coffee machine had not been working for at least a week.

“Yes. Yes. It’s my fault, isn’t it, if the office budget allowed purchase of this pathetic brand only. And if the service calls are not being answered…”

“Relax Mou. We are only pulling your legs. Go out. Receive him. Nothing will happen… If anything, he might find the heroine for his next venture as soon as he looks at you.”

“Yeah. Okay. Thanks. Hope what you are saying is true.”

Karishma shook her head smiling as Mou went away still looking quite worked up.

But Mou was back again after ten minutes, “He wants to meet the writers.”

“No!” exclaimed Karishma and Sudhakar in chorus.

“Yes!” Mou mimicked their tone, “Come with me quickly.”

“But Ritesh Sir is not here.”

“He knows that.”

“Even George hasn’t come in today,” Karishma mentioned the third member of the team.

“Yes. That leaves just the two of you. Save our jobs please.”

“Shut up, Mou,” Karishma ridiculed Mou’s idea that it had anything to do with their jobs or the future of the serial, but she was also quite nervous about the idea of meeting Siddharth Sen – the Siddharth Sen – that too in absence of Ritesh as well as Diksha.

“He has left? Already?” Mou was flustered.

Sudhakar and Karishma nodded, both looking quite confused.

“What did he talk to you guys?” Mou asked.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“He basically asked things that we write in the first page of our resumes. Where we have studied and worked, where we live, and funnily enough about our families,” Sudhakar offered the explanation.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it!” Karishma said, looking annoyed with all the fuss, “These rich, bosses are like that. Doesn’t Diksha Ma’am get fits once in a while, screaming crazily and asking for random things? Like sister, like brother I guess. He unnecessarily upset the entire office. Let’s go and do our work. Cleaning the desk, my foot!”

The afternoon was crazier for Karishma.She received a call asking her to come for a look test that night.

“Look test? Look there is some confusion. I am not an actress. And I have not applied anywhere.”

“But Ma’am I have all your details here. And…”

“Where are you calling from?”

“Sen Motion Pictures…”

“Right. I am an employee in the TV division. But I am a writer, not an actress. There is some confusion. Now, please let me concentrate on my work and you call the right people.”

But her phone rang again after ten minutes. It was the boss of the woman who had called earlier asking if she can come the next day.

“I am not coming ever. Look – I already told you. I have not given any auditions. There is some confusion. You are probably looking for some other Karishma Gupta.”

“Ma’am. You have a very good chance of getting this role. You have Sid Sir’s recommendation.”

“Sid Sir’s recommendation? I have never met him. Well – I mean…” she hesitated for a moment as she recalled that morning’s meeting. But surely that had nothing to do with her acting, “Okay. I met him very briefly this morning. But it had nothing to do with acting. He is a busy man, isn’t he? He must have confused my name with someone else. Now, please excuse me and concentrate on finding the right person.”

“Karishmaaaaa….” It was Mou back to her desk fifteen minutes later.

“What the hell is wrong with the world today? Will anyone let me work? I need to read the story Mou…”

“No time darling. Sid Sir’s office had called. You have to meet him in forty-five minutes.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“This is getting crazier.”

“Crazier? So something crazy has already happened? What’s going on babes?”

“I will tell you once I know. Right now I am out of my mind. How the hell am I supposed to reach the other end of the city in forty-five minutes?”

“Take a train.”

“I hate trains. Why do you think I am paying so much to stay close to office?”

“It won’t be crowded at this hour. You can take a taxi while coming back. But please reach there in time. I shouldn’t get blamed for not telling you in time.”

“God! Now you are going to go all bureaucratic on me.”

“What to do with people who are favourite with bosses?”

“I am favourite with nobody. Anyway – I will go and end this madness.”

“What is the madness?”

“Somebody seems to think that I should become an actress.”

“What… Karishma…”

But Karishma had picked up her purse and had run out before a baffled Mou could ask her anything.

(To be continued)

Finding the Destiny

Posted 6 CommentsPosted in English, Malti-Puru, Original

Malti was stunned for a moment when the name of the chief-guest for Abhinav’s school function was announced and he gracefully walked in. She involuntarily clutched the hands of her chair.

“Mr. Puru Reddy, MD and chairman of Aeon Finances and chairman of trustees of our school,” the host introduced the chief guest. Malti came out of her reverie, when applause from the audience followed the introduction. She found eight-year old Abhinav tugging at her sleeves.

“Mommy. He is going to be giving me the award,” he informed her excitedly.

“Is it?” Malti smiled at Abhinav nervously and tried to reciprocate his excitement, “That’s great Abhi.”

The name immediaely caught Puru’s attention – Abhinav Aman. The host had announced the prize for a debate competition, or was it recitation? The principal was giving away these prizes. Puru only had to do the honour towards the end and give the important prizes and awards. Like the toppers of each class, the all-round achievement awards etc.

He recalled the conversation about that name from several years ago.

“Aman? That’s not quite a surname, is it?” he had asked her.

She had laughed slightly, “His surname was sacrificed on the altar of my feminism. We figured there isn’t a good way of deciding who surname a child should inherit. Why should it obviously be father’s? So, we decided to do away with the surname altogether. But too many forms insist on second name. So, he had to have one…”

“Ingennious!”

He looked at the child intently the next time a prize was announced for him. It was for some dancing competition. Was he imagining it or were his facial features very similar to that of the woman he hadn’t forgotten even after five years? He had managed to hear that he studied in class fourth, when the prize was annouced. Her son would be eight years old now. And class fourth sounded just right for a kid of that age. His eyes followed Abhinav back to his seat. Surely enough! It was her, sitting next to him. Malti Sharma!

Malti knew the Puru’s eyes had been more or less fixed on her since he had noticed her.

“Wait Abhi,” she told her son, “Let others leave. We will leave once the doors are less crowded.”

Malti noticed that Puru shook hands with the Principal and other people on the stage itself and took leave, refusing their entreaties to join them for dinner. He came directly to them.

“Malti. What a surprise!”

“Surprise indeed. How are you?” Malti asked as they shook hands.

“Since when are you in Mumbai?”

“Barely seven months. Abhi had to be admitted to the school mid-year. Thankfully the Principal cooperated.”

“Mid-year admission and so many prizes? Best all-rounder? Genius, eh? Like mother, like son!”

“Touch wood,” Malti said reflexively.

“You have not changed a bit. Still can’t bask in happiness without fearing that you will lose it.”

Malti laughed and did not say anything in reply. Not even her usual “I am just a realist”. Puru wondered if he is imagining it, but her laughter looked sad.

“Where is Ritesh?” he asked changing the topic. A cloud passed over her face.

“Abhi,” she addressed Abhinav instead of him, “Baby, can you get me a glass of water? You know where water coolers are, right? Run and get me some please.”

“Okay Mommy.”

Malti waited till Abhinav was out of sight. Puru was looking at her curiously.

“I don’t like to talk about it in front of him. Though he knows… And I think understands as well. We are separated. Actually… divorced now.”

“What?” Puru’s extreme surprise was obvious in his expressions, “How can… I… I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. It has been a long time.”

“Long time?” Puru was even more surprised.

“We separated three years back and divorce came through the year after. Abhi is coming… Let’s not talk about this before him, please.”

“Sure,” Puru assured her hastily, “Are you going home?”

“I have promised Abhi to take him to McDonalds today.”

“Okay. Carry on, then. And here is my card. I hope to keep in touch now. It is bad enough that I didn’t know you were here all these months.”

“Yeah. I am sorry about that. New city, new job, settling down, Abhi’s admission… I was just too…” she also handed him her card.

“I understand. I think we shouldn’t keep Abhinav awake till late. You go ahead. Good night, Malti. And take care.”

“You too. Bye.”

“Mommy. Water?”

“Oh yes, dear,” Malti had forgotten about the water as it was just an alibi to send Abhinav away. She took the disposable glass from him, had a sip and threw the glass into a nearby dustbin.

Malti’s and Puru’s eyes met once before they went their separate ways.

Puru tossed and turned in his bed as his thoughts drifted to past again.

“Forgive me for being blunt, but it does not look like you are happy in this marriage Malti. Have you ever considered moving out?”

“Don’t be absurd Puru,” she had replied confidently, “I am not a dreamy-eyed romantic. No relationship is without its share of ups and downs, or its share of adjustments. Everyone adjusts. I and Ritesh do it too. I would never do something like walking out on my marriage. Even if everything falls apart, which hasn’t by the way, I would stay put because my son deserves a stable and happy childhood. The inseucrities that have clouded my life, I can’t let Abhi be engulfed by them too. Never.”

“You sound pretty confident. I’m sorry if I offended you…”

“It’s okay Puru. I know you meant well. No need to say sorry. But no. That’s not how it’s going to be with me. My married life is fine. And Ritesh is as committed to it as I am.”

“Sure. Good luck and take care. I have to leave now.”

And at that moment, he had decided to bury his feelings and never let them come out. He had no rights to disturb her life, a life that she was so content with.

His resolve was made easier when he had heard that she was changing her job. It meant she would no longer work with him. But the news coming in at the last moment had offended him.

“You will be gone from tomorrow and you are telling me now?”

“You know how the lawyers work, Puru. I have been handing over my tasks for a while now, but they did not want me to disclose it here. My hands were tied.”

“I… and my entire team will miss you. We’d never have done those wonderful negotations, but for you and…”

“You will have a competent replacement. I am not the only negotiation specialist in the world.”

Puru had just smiled at that. There was no reason why they could not meet up socially after her job change. But they did not. Puru was hesitant because of his weakness for her. And Malti never tried from her side. After couple of months, he had come back to Mumbai and visited his Delhi office only once in a while.

But now Malti was in Mumbai. And she was divorced! Had been so for two years. Don’t start hoping, he told himself. He did not know what she has been through. He did not know what she thought of him. He did not know if they were the same people that they had been five years ago? He was the same, he thought. But she?

It took him two days to finally make the call. He had been anxious. He did not know if he was welcome in her life. He had hoped that she would call. But she had never tried to reach out earlier. She wasn’t going to do that now. If he wanted to talk to her, if he wanted to find out, he will have to take the lead.

“Hi Puru. How are you?”

“So, you have my number stored at least. You could have pressed a call button too.”

“I am sorry…”

“It’s okay. I am just joking,” he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, “I called up because I thought we should catch up.”

“Yeah,” he sensed hesitation in her voice. But his prayers were answered by what she said next, “Let’s meet up sometime.”

“Coffee?”

“Could you take time out for dinner? I have to pick Abhi up from school in the afternoons and then rush back to work.”

“Sure. Dinner looks fantastic,” he had only tried to play it safe by asking for coffee. He was happy to have leisurely conversation over dinner, “Tell me a place that is convenient to you. I don’t want you running around with Abhinav…”

“Thanks. Could you come home, say tomorrow? That way I can put Abhi to bed in time…”

“Sure. I will see you tomorrow. And listen…”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t bother yourself with cooking. I know you are already overworked. We will order something in.”

Malti smiled and Puru could feel that in her voice as she said, “Considerate as always, Mr. Puru Reddy. You haven’t changed much. Don’t worry. If I don’t get time I will order something.”

The smile lingered on Malti’s lips even after she had disconnected the call. Empathy had been his charm, always. That birthday was still the most unforgettable one for her.

“What is this?” Malti had inquires as Puru handed her a small, gift-wrapped box.

“It’s your birthday gift.”

“You remembered?” she was surprised.

“Well. Your employer had sent me your detailed resume before appointing you to work on our case.”

“Still… Can I open it?”

“Of course.”

She opened it to find a bluetooth handsfree for her mobile in it. She checked out the brand name and model and knew that it was one of the most expensive models around.

“With the amount of time you spend on phone, I am surprised your arms are not already dysfunctional,” he explained with a smile. She knew! She, herself, had thought of buying one so many times. But when did she have time for herself. Between her demanding job with Mathur and Associates, married life with Ritesh and now a toddler Abhinav to take care of, she hardly managed to squeeze out a few hours for sleeping.

“That was very thoughtful,” Malti was truly touched.

“So, what are the plans for the big day?”

“Plans? You mean for the birthday? Where is time for all that in our lives now Puru?”

“I am sure Ritesh would have planned something.”

“I don’t think he even remembers.”

“Of course, he does. How can he forget his wife’s birthday?”

“We have been married for five years now. The time for filmy romannce is gone!”

Puru looked unconvinced, but he did not insist, “Well. What would I know?”

“Yeah,” she laughed pleasantly, “Until you are married yourself, you have all the rights to be romantic and dreamy!”

“Malti. Are we ready?” her colleague’s question brought her back to present.

“Yeah. Let’s go,” she said and tried to focus on the meeting that she had to attend.

“Shall I get food?” Malti asked after they had finished their glasses of juice.

“Isn’t it going to be Abhinav’s bed time soon? What time does he sleep?”

“Well… If I don’t switch off that cartoon network, he is never going to sleep. But I generally force him to bed at nine.”

“You would be able to eat more peacefully once he is asleep. I can wait.”

“Let me put him to bed then. I am sorry, you would have to hang around alone for a while.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

Malti returned after twenty minutes.

“I should have invited you wife too. Then I won’t feel guilty for keeping you here so late,” Malti joked, “But I thought we, ourselves, were meeting after so long…”

“Even if you hadn’t thought that and had insisted on inviting my wife, I would not have been able to bring her,” Puru interrupted.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t have a wife!”

“Oh!” Malti was surprised, “I am sorry. I assumed… It has been so long.”

“Well… Some things never change.”

Malti smiled, “So, you never found anyone up to your standards?”

“May be she hasn’t found me yet.”

“As you wish to put it. I will get food.”

Their conversation while eating was mostly around their work, which shifted to life outside work towards the end.

“Movies?” Malti laughed, “Where is time for any of that. Between work and Abhi’s responsibilities, I hardly get time to breathe. I dread even social invitations from my colleagues.”

“Being a single parent has been tough, hasn’t it Malti?” his voice turned soft as he asked.

His question caught Malti unawares. She hesitated in replying for a moment, then said, “I am managing.”

“What went wrong? Between you and Ritesh I mean. You were so determined…”

“Are you done?” Malti asked pointing towards his plate.

“Yeah.”

“Let me clear the plates then.”

“I will help,” he replied not letting her clear his plate.

They carried their plates and other utensils back to the kitchen in awkward silence. After they were done, Puru wondered if he should apologize. He had still not made up his mind when they came back to the hall and sat down on the sofa across each other. To his relief Malti spoke first, “It was his decision. He wanted a divorce.”

“But why?” Puru could not help asking.

“I hadn’t let him explain completely. I think… I did not have the heart to listen to it all. But whatever he did manage to say, it meant that he was tired of my negative outlook. He thought I was scared to accept good things, happiness in life and kept terming it “realism”, which it wasn’t. He couldn’t tolerate it any more. We weren’t suitable for each other. Plus his childhood friend was back from the US and they had fallen in love with each other.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No need to be, Puru. He was right. And he was brave. He faced his feelings. I always took cover behind Abhi’s welfare. If I had dared to, I would have reached the same conclusion. I wasn’t a positive or happy person like him. I tried, but I could not be.”

“Malti. You are being too hard on yourself. Incompatibility is between two individuals. Your being incompatible with Ritesh does not mean there was anything wrong with you.”

“You are being kind, Puru. I know what I am. Anyway, care for some coffee?”

Puru realized that she did not want to talk further about it and he also did not know what to say next. So, he cooperated in her attempt to divert the conversation, “Sure. Coffee will be good.”

“Puru. Are you home? I haven’t talked to Preethi is a while. Why don’t you call her?”

“She would be in her classes Amma. I will call later.”

His mother was so dependent on him, she could not even make a call to her own daughter, if he wasn’t around. That was cute, except when… it was tiring. He was sixteen when his father, a stock broker with a small financial firm, had passed away in an accident. For his profession, he hadn’t done a great financial planning for his family. He shuddered to think of the time… Preethi had just been born.Amma was so shattered, she could hardly hold herself togehter, let alone care for the baby. He had to grow up immediately, and become the man of the house!

Preethi, his kid sister, had been in the US for last two years. He brought her up like a father. But… had he been successful? Probably no. If he had been, she wouldn’t have grown up to be so immature… The reason he was not calling her was not because she would be in classes. It was a saturday. She wouldn’t have classes. Amma didn’t realize… Or probably she didn’t even know. He sighed as he thought about that. And Preethi… He wasn’t calling her because of the e-mail he had received from her last night. About her “future plans”… or disaster as far as he could tell. Amma should know. She should make her understand. But if he told Amma, instead of being a help, she would become another source of worry for him. She would cry and curse herself and Preethi and God and probably drive herself sick! He looked around cautiously. Amma had gone back to her room.

“You need to delegate Puru,” he remembered another conversation with Malti all those years ago, “Your company is growing. You are paying people well. You have talented people. You can hire more, if required. Why do you want to do everything yourself? I am not sure why I am working with you directly. These things could easily have been handled by your legal department and probably a deputy of yours.”

“So, you don’t like working with me?” he had joked.

“You know very well, I didn’t mean that. Look – it is tempting to try and do everything yourself. After all no body can do it like you can. That’s true, but not workable in long run. Every time I have to train a new researcher, I seriously feel like I should just do my research on my own. But that would kill me. And your work is killing you, as far as I can see.”

“Point taken. I will try. But this work is all that I have. It keeps me busy. I will never be able to get away from it.”

“That’s fine. But focus on things that really need your attention, rather than day to day stuff.”

“Yes Your Honour.”

Puru smiled even as he came out of his thoughts. He had started taking off on saturdays and had no formal appointments. But there wasn’t much else to do. He wondered if flipping through TV channles sitting at home was a better way of relaxing or just going to office finishing off some work that he would have to look through on Monday anyway.

Or… If he can’t delegate Preethi’s issue to someone else, can he take help? Whose? Probably only a woman could help him out here. And there seemed to be only one really dependable woman he knew!

“Hi Puru. What’s up?” Malti picked up her mobile.

“Umm… nothing much,” he was unsettled on hearing her voice and lost track of his thoughts for a moment. Then he gathered himself togehter, “What are your plans for today?”

“My plans… well they are dictated by my little master. He has been a good boy the entire week under my promise that I will take him wherever he wants on saturday.”

Puru smiled, “So, where does he want to go?”

“I don’t know.Here he is. Let me ask…. Water park? Oh no!!”

“What happened, Malti?”

“He wants to go to the Water Park.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“My adventures are limited to legal and mental battles Puru. I am scared of water sports and the rides and all that stuff. That’s why I always avoid taking him there…”

“I have a solution.”

“Yeah?”

“I can come with you and accompany him in the sports and rides.”

“Really?” Malti sounded excited and happy, but she became cautious the very next moment, “Are you sure Puru? It won’t disturb your plans or schedule…”

“Come on Malti. I’m sure I will enjoy it too.”

“Okay.”

“I will pick you up in half an hour.”

“Thank you,” Malti said sincerely when they were standing together as Abhinav enjoyed a game with other children, “Abhi is really enjoying this outing. It wouldn’t have been possible without you.”

“No need to thank me Malti. I am enjoying it as much.”

“If I can ask, are you worried about something?”

“Why do you ask?” Puru was startled by her questions. He wasn’t expecting that.

“It’s… just a feeling… You are getting lost in your thoughts every once in a while. And then the next moment you come back as if you are trying to distract yourself from what was really on your mind while playing with Abhi… Don’t get me wrong… You are doing everything for him, but you yourself look worried…”

Puru sighed and Malti stopped speaking.

“I’m right, then. What is it?” she spoke again.

“It’s not work-related Malti…”

“I can keep secrets.”

He looked at her intently and smiled, “Yes. I trust you with that. In fact… when I had called you today, it was because I wanted to talk to you about it. But then…”

“I started blabbering about Abhi’s demands…”

“No. No. That’s not a problem, Malti. Trust me. I am really enjoying this. Something I have not done in a long time. I think I could not give to Preethi, what you are giving to Abhi.”

“Preethi?”

“My sister.”

“Oh. What is the problem?”

“She has found this guy she thinks she is head over heals in love with. She won’t listen to anyone and wants to get married right away…”

“What’s wrong with that? She is an adult. Why are you being so possessive?”

“She is seventeen, Malti.”

“Seventeen? How come? How old are you?”

“I am thirty-three. She is much younger to me. Amma had two miscarriages after me. So…”

“Actually not so much younger than it initially looked. I thought you were older.”

That amused Puru,”How old did you think I was?”

“Leave it.”

“Come on now. Tell me.”

“Close to forty I had thought. Obviously I was stupid…” Malti was embarrassed.

Puru laughed slightly, “So, I look old.”

“You look, behave and sound mature. I hadn’t thought you could actually be younger to me.”

“I am younger to you?”

“By a year – not much. Still…”

“Ah!”

“Sorry. I got distracted. Does Preethi stay with you?”

“No. And I think that was my biggest mistake. I wanted the best for her. I sent her to the US to complete her school. She was in a boarding for schooling. Now, she has just started college, staying on her own and this… Obviously she is not mature enough to be living on her own.”

“But she can’t get married at 17…”

“In US, apparently some states allow it with parental consent… And that’s what she wants from me…”

“And if you say no…”

“I am afraid she will do something stupid. I think I should go there and talk to her. But I suddenly realized that I have always treated her as a baby. I don’t even know how to start talking to her as an adult… Much less as a woman…”

“Ask your mother to talk to her. There is always…”

“I haven’t told Amma yet.”

“No? Why… Oh! You think she will… freak out?”

Puru nodded.

“Stall it, then. Don’t say no, don’t confront. But find some way of stalling this marriage nonsense. People are fickle at that age. She would realize herself in a matter of months or days, as she sees more of the world, that she doesn’t want to get married this early.”

“How do I do that?”

“Let me think.”

Abhi came back just then and they decided to grab something to eat at a fast food joint in the park before heading back home.

“I have an idea,” Malti suddenly said.

“What?”

“Abhi. You seem done? You want to use that swing for a while?” she asked her son. She wanted to send him away.

“Was he full?” Puru was concerned.

“No. But it’s better if he does not eat much of this junk food. I will give him his regular food once we are home.”

“So, what is the idea?”

“Can you call her now?”

“It would be late night there. But knowing her lifestyle, she is probably awake.”

“Good then. Listen….”

“Anna?” Preethi’s uncertain voice came from the other side as she picked up Puru’s phone. His phone was on speaker and Malti nodded to Puru asking him to go on as per the plan.

“Preethi. Did I wake you up?”

“No. I was awake. But I didn’t think you would call now. I was waiting all day though. Did you read my e-mail?”

“Yeah. About that…”

“Look Anna. I know you don’t understand these things. You have never been in love, have you? But you have to do this for me… Otherwise…”

“Wait Preethi. I just want your happiness, but why are you in such a hurry? You are only seventeen.”

“Because we are just wonderful together. And I know all the caution about immaturity etc. I am not as immature as Amma thinks, because she would never let me be on my own, when I am there. Tell me when can you come here…”

“Listen darling. I am not against your marrying whosoever you want. I am not asking you to leave him. Just do me one favour?”

“What?” Malti discerned a slight sigh of relief in her voice, when Puru did not oppose her.

“You know Amma has big dreams about your wedding…”

“So?”

“So. I want that the wedding to happen in India.”

“Oh!”

“There is just one glitch. Until you turn eighteen, wedding in India is not legal. So, all I am asking of you is to wait for one year. Then we will have a grand wedding here. Getting Amma to agree will be my responsibility.”

“I… I don’t know. I will ask Dave and then let you know.”

“Take your time in deciding. I want you to be happy. But Amma is my responsibility too. Just keep her happiness in mind. That will make it easier for me. But whatever happens, don’t do anything stupid. Okay?”

“Okay Anna. Thank you…”

“Good night, Preethi. Go to bed, now. It is almost morning there.”

“Bye Anna.”

“Bye.”

“I think that was encouraging,” Malti said after the call was disconnected.

“Well… I had the best negotiator in the world guiding me,” Puru said although it was clear that his mind was not completely at peace yet.

Suddenly Malti pressed his hand, “It will be all right Puru. Trust me.”

“Thanks.”

“And when she calls, if you are not sure how to respond, just stall. Okay?”

Puru nodded his head with a smile, “Can I give you a job offer to join my company?”

“Ah! That would be a bad idea.”

“Why?”

“As a negotiator, I can’t work alone. I need a team of specialist lawyers, researchers and others behind me. Assembling and paying that entire team is a job best left to a legal company. They would be an overkill in a finance company. You are better off hiring my company when needed, than hiring me.”

“Got it!”

“Shall we go now? If we let Abhi roam around for longer, he will surely fall ill.”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

Abhinav had bonded very well with Puru during their outing. And Malti was surprised to see how well Puru was handling him. He definitely had a way with kids.

“When will you take me for camping Uncle?” Abhinav asked enthusiastically on their ride back.

“Abhi!” Malti chided him for taking liberties with Puru, “He has a company to run darling.”

“But he himself promised me, Mommy.”

“He is right Malti,” Puru intervened, “I promised him. And Abhinav, I intend to keep that promise. Your summer vacations are starting soon, right?”

“Puru!” Malti looked serious and worried.

“What happened?” Puru asked hesitantly, “Is there a problem?” Did she not like him being around her son?

“Abhi. You want to watch some of your DVDs?” Malti took out a small portable DVD player and the Abhinav’s cartoon DVDs from a bag.

“No Mommy. Not now.”

“Let’s stop for an ice-cream,” Puru said. He realized that Malti wanted to talk about something, but not when Abhinav was listening.

“Yay!” Abhinav was excited.

“Here,” Puru handed him a 100 Rs. note, “You are a big boy, right? Go get an ice-cream for yourself.”

Abhi ran towards the booth from where icecreams were being sold. The place and the booth was mostly deserted. So, they didn’t have to worry about Abhinav’s safety.

“What is it, Malti?” Puru turned towards her and asked.

“He is a child, Puru. Anything older people tell the kids, they take it to heart. Abhi has obviously enjoyed his time with you. I haven’t seen him so excited very often. If you promise something, he will really take it to heart. And then…”

“And then?”

“You have your responsibilities. I don’t expect you to run around all the time taking care of Abhi…”

“Malti. You can be upfront. Do you have a problem with me being around Abhinav?” Puru asked her sharply.

“Of course not, Puru. But I have to be careful. He should not start taking you for granted. He was very young, but he has felt the loss of his father. In one of those vulnerable moments, he still wonders if his Daddy left us because of him… Tomorrow I can’t answer if he asks why Puru Uncle did not take him for camping or for whatever promise he has extracted out of you in these playful moments…”

“Malti,” Puru spoke calmly, “When I promised to take him to camping, I meant it. And I fully intend to keep that promise up, if you will allow me. But I understand your concern. And here is my promise to you. I will never hurt your son. Never!”

The sincerity in his voice made Malti emotional. She felt a lump forming in her throat and also regretted saying all she had just said to him. She knew how caring he was. She shouldn’t have…

Puru realized that Malti was about to cry. “Don’t,” he said, “Don’t cry. He is coming.”

Malti blinked back her tears and turned to look at Abhinav. He seemed to be struggling with all the icre-cream cones he was carrying. Both Puru and Malti got out of the car and rushed towards him to help.

“How much icecream did you buy Abhi?” Malti asked.

“Butter-scotch – your favourite for you Mommy,” he said innocently. Malti felt overwhelmed with this gesture. While Puru took all the cones from his hands, she bent down and kissed his forehead.

“And who are the three chocolate cones for?” Puru asked as he handed over the butter scotch cone to Malti.

“I did not know your favourite. So, I brought my favourite for you.”

“I like chocolate. So, one chocolate for me, another one for you,” he handed one back to Abhinav, “And for whom is this last one?”

“For me,” Abhinav replied matter-of-factly.

“Why two for you? That’s not fair,” Puru teased him.

“Because I am the kid. Kids get more ice-creams and chocolates.”

Malti and Puru laughed at his clever reply and Puru handed another cone to Abhinav.

“Come inside. Have some coffee or tea before leaving,” Malti invited Puru when he dropped them at their home. Abhinav had already ran away with the keys to get into the house and open all the souvenirs he had bought at the park.

“No. Some other time. You go and feed Abhinav. I will call you later.”

“Puru,” Malti said looking embarrassed and hesitant, “I’m sorry. About what I said… I am probably paranoid. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Malti! No need to talk about that. It’s okay. And thanks for helping about Preethi.”

“She will be all right. Just let me know if she calls or writes.”

“Sure. Bye Malti.”

“Bye Puru.”

Malti had a hard time focusing on Abhinav’s chatter after that. She did not know why she was feeling so disoriented. But she was. She finally managed to engage Abhi with his coloring book and sat down on a chair near the window to have some me-time. She looked out and kept thinking. She couldn’t have recounted what she was thinking about though, when Abhi came running to her asking her to switch on the TV for him.

“You know how to do that Abhi. Do it yourself,” she told him.

“The main switch is off Mommy. I can’t reach there.”

“Okay. I will help you.”

After she switched the TV on, she felt guilty about having spent last few hours lost in her thought, instead of giving that time to Abhi. She decided to watch cartoon with him to make up for it.

“Malti? What happened? Is something wrong?” Puru not only got surprised, but also panicked at Malti’s call.

“No. Nothing is wrong. What happened? Why are you so worked up?”

“Uh.. Sorry,” he felt embarrassed, “Just that… you never call. So, I got worried. I am sorry.”

Malti fell silent for a moment on hearing that. Then she said, “I’m sorry. I must have come across as so selfish. I…”

“Come on Malti. It’s okay. I over-reacted. Anyway. Tell me, what’s up?”

“I… I just called up to say thanks for going with us on that outing. It was wonderful. Abhi can’t stop talking about it. He really enjoyed it…”

“And you?” Puru asked playfully.

“Me too. Of course. That goes without saying. And Puru…”

“Yeah?”

“I have a day off tomorrow and Abhi is going on a day trip from school. So, I was wondering if you were free for lunch.”

Malti couldn’t see the broad smile forming on Puru’s lips as he heard that. But the smile disappeared when he looked at his calendar. He had an appointment at 2 and there was no way he could have cancelled it. It was with an infamous politicians and one couldn’t afford to irk such people. What should he do?

“Of course. I am Malti,” he hoped he didn’t sound more eager than was appropriate, “Just that I have to be back by two. So, I might not be able to come to your home. Can we meet in a restaurant close to my office?”

“Umm… Okay. Sure. But the treat is on me. A thank you treat, you can say.”

“Sure. Let’s meet at 12 in my office and then we will walk down.”

“I was looking up at some kid-safe camping sites,” Puru told her during the lunch.

“You were?”

“I found some. They are not far from the city. And there are agencies that help you plan and setup the entire thing. It should be comfortable and fun.”

“You need to get married and have babies, Puru. You are so good with Kids.”

Puru smile very slightly, hoping not to show his disappointment that she didn’t seem to understand his feelings.

“As soon as she find me…” he said in low voice.

“That is some excuse. Be a man and take charge.”

“Should I?”

“Of course. What kind of question is that.”

“All right. I will try.”

“Puru. I was about to call you. I am so sorry. I have just sprained my legs. I can’t go for camping.”

“What happened? Show me… Oh God! What did you do?”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t even a slippery surface. But…”

“We should take you to a doctor.”

“It’s nothing major. I should be fine by morning. Just that I can’t go now. Oh God! Look at Abhi. He is so disappointed. I am so sorry darling. If it were anything else, I would not cancel it. But I can’t go camping with a sprained leg. Come here. Come to Mommy…”

Abhinav did go to her and let her hug him, but he was still listless and disappointed.

“How bad is it hurting Malti? Will you be able to manage on your own. Or should someone stay with you?”

“Oh no! It’s not that big a problem. Don’t worry about me.”

Puru thought for a moment, “Is it okay, if Abhi goes with me?”

Malti was taken aback at the proposal. She hadn’t thought about it. How could she send Abhi with anyone alone? She was about to say ‘no’ emphatically, when she looked at her son’s fallen face again. If he had both his parents with him, going with his father would have been most natural thing to do in this situation. Unfortunately, he didn’t have his father. But… at least today… he did have Puru. She looked back at Puru, “Are you sure?”

“I am very sure. Just tell me what all should I take care of and…”

“Will you go with Puru Uncle, Abhi?” she asked Abhinav before replying to Puru.

Slowly colour returned to the child’s face, as he realized that his mother was seriously considering the proposal. He hadn’t expected her to. He grinned, “Yes Mommy.”

“But you must not trouble him. Okay? No fuss for eating, sleeping, anything. You will behave yourself, right?”

“Yes. I will. Promise.”

Malti kissed him on his forehead, then turned to Puru and told him about everything she had packed for Abhi, what time should he be fed and other precautions. “Just call me if he creates any troubles. I hope there will be signal…”

“He is a fine kid Malti. I will bring him back happy and safe. Trust me.”

“Of course,” she smiled, “I trust you. And thanks. Seeing him so disappointment was making me feel so guilty.”

“Now, just lie down and take rest. Order pizza or something for dinner. Don’t try to cook.”

“Yeah,” Malti nodded.

She managed to limp forward and close the door behind them. Then she lied down on the living room sofa. Not wanting to see her son so disappointed, she had sent him with Puru. But now she was feeling nervous. How many years had it been that Abhi hadn’t spent a single day away from her. After separating from Ritesh, she had taken him even on business trips with her. Thankfully, there weren’t so many of them that his studies would be affected. Now, for the first time she had handed over the responsibility to some one else.

She took a few deep breaths and tried to calm her nerves down. ‘He has gone with Puru,’ she told herself, ‘Someone infinitely more responsible and caring than his own father. He would be fine.’

But the thought scared her the next moment. This dependence, this trust, these feelings for Puru could become her undoing. She had walked away from him all those years back by changing her job and had never contacted him since then. But now, he had smoothly glided back into her life. And she had helplessly let him do that. Where was this going to lead her? It will just leave her pining for what can never be hers. The thoughts of future were too painful. She drifted into the past instead.

Aeon Finances sold financial products to individuals and did so with the help of its franchisee operations. But in every city, there would be a small-time broker running a shop under the same name and would create a problem with trademarks. They had hired the firm Malti worked for to sort this out for them when they started their Delhi operations. It was routine negotiation for Malti and within a month it had been settled outside the court for a lump-sump payment to the broker.

But real trouble broke two days after this settlement was done. The news of the generous settlement Aeon finances had given to the broker leaked and suddenly there were a flurry of claims about the prior use of trademark Aeon Finances wanted to use for its franchisee. Malti and her team had to come rushing back to Puru’s office to see the details.

“This is absurd!” Puru had exclaimed, “I have never seen anything like this before in any other city. So, many people could not be using the same name since forever.”

“This is Delhi,” Malti had said coolly, “You have been working mostly in Southern and Western parts of the country before this, if I know correctly.”

“Right. But what are we supposed to do with this? If we keep negotiating with each one of them, well my operations would shut down even before starting.”

“I have an idea. But give me a day to discuss it with my team. It will need some planning.”

Puru had nodded and had tried to appear calm. But she could see that he was agitated, almost nervous.

“You are not convinced?”

“I hate it when I don’t have control over things.”

“Let me handle it for you and relax. We’d find a way out,” Malti had said. He had looked surprised for a moment, but had smiled afterwards.

“We have another claim of prior use,” Puru had thrown a file in exasperation before Malti the next day she came to his office.

“I know. And we will take this one to the courts.”

“Courts? Are you crazy? This will never be settled then…”

“A fast track court. And we will defeat them.”

“You are so sure?”

“Because this claim has been filed on our insistence.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Here is the plan…”

And she had explained it. This claim was filed by someone who was unofficially working for Malti’s firm. They would take it to the court, have him lose it and leak just the right kind of news for others.

“What kind of news?”

“That this guy indeed was using it from before, but we had managed to prove it in the court that his papers were fake. These people filing the claims are small-time thugs looking to make quick money. If they see that the quick money is not coming their way, they will chicken out.”

“Will it work?”

“Worth a shot.”

With minor glitches, it had indeed worked. Finally they were left with only two claims, which seemed genuine and they had been able to settle it with compensation. Over three months that Malti worked with Puru on this issue, not only had they begun to admire each other professionally, but had also developed a good friendship. Following the success of this project, Malti’s firm was hired to carry out more negotiations for Aeon Finances.

But Malti saw a problem cropping up when she realized that she had started desiring more than friendship from Puru. That was a disastrous thought. She was married with a two year son to take care of. Not something she could risk destroying. And that’s when she had decided to change the job and let go of it.

‘It was a perfect plan and had appeared to work,’ Malti thought as she returned to present, ‘Only destiny always has its own plans for us.’

Just then her phone rang. It was Puru to ask after her health and to inform her that they had reached the camping site and Abhi was doing fine. She figured that he was so excited and happy that he hardly spoke to her on phone.

After Puru had dropped an excited Abhi home after their camping night, they hadn’t talked to each other. It had been almost a week and Puru was hoping, rather wishing, that she would call. He, himself, was dying to call, but did not know what alibi could he use. Were they friends enough that they could call and meet without any reason? Probably. But since Malti never took a step forward, Puru did not feel confident. The only time she had called and invited him was to thank for the accompanying them on the outing. But this time she seemed determined to not do even that for camping.

Finally he gave up on waiting. He decided to take her advice that she had given unknowingly, “Be a man and take charge.” After finishing his work he drove towards her house. It was 8.30 in the evening when he reached there and he hoped she would be back from work. But the call bell went unanswered. He was about to return disappointed, when on some urge, he tried the door. It was open. He opened it slightly and called Malti and Abhinav. There was no answer. So, he gingerly walked in. He looked around and the house seemed empty. He got worried. Where had they gone leaving the door unlocked like this? He found the door keys on a table and picked it up. He came out and decided to call her after locking the door. He was still locking the door, when an elderly lady came out from the neighboring flat.

“Excuse me?” she addressed Puru when she saw him locking Malti’s door, “Who are you?”

“I am Malti’s friend. I had come to meet her, but she is not here and the door was open. So, I am locking it. Do you know where she is?”

“She had left her door open? Poor thing, she must be traumatized.”

“What happened?”

“Her son had an accident. She has driven him to the hospital.”

“What?” Puru panicked, “What happened? How bad was it?”

“A car was driving towards him uncontrollably. He managed to avoid the car by running away, but hit a pole in the process…”

“Which hospital have they gone to?” Puru felt sick with worry.

“Apollo is nearby…”

Puru did not let her complete the sentence and rushed out.

“Malti!” Puru found her near the emergency room as the receptionist had told him, “How is he?”

“I… I don’t know. They are still treating him…”

“Why the hell did you not call me? Do you have to do everything on your own? Is it insulting for you to take a friend’s help. How can you….” he stopped at once. Malting was staring at him in pain and confusion. He realized that instead of comforting her, he was scolding her for what must seem like pointless to her.

“I am sorry,” he said in a low voice, “I just lost it. I had gone to your home and found it unlocked. Nobody was inside, I panicked. Here is your key.”

Malti took the key, but barely managed to say ‘thanks’ and started sobbing.

“Hey, Malti. It’s okay. Everything will be all right. Come here… sit down.”

“If something happens to him, what will I do? What will I do with my home, with myself, with anything else?” she spoked through her tears as she crushed the key in her palms.

“Nothing will happen. He will be all right. See, he escaped a bigger accident, right? He avoided the speeding car. This won’t be worse. He will be fine. You must calm down.”

She wiped her tears and asked in a voice still heavy from crying, “How did you know I was here?”

“Your neighbour told me.”

“Thanks for coming. I was…”

“There is no need for thanks Malti. You sit here. I will be back in a minute.”

He came back with a bottle of water and two cups of tea. He made Malti have some tea. Soon the doctor treating Abhinav came out and told them that they were able to stop the blood flow from Abhinav’s head. The wounds would take some time to heal, but there was no long term injury.

Malti and Puru sighed in relief.

“Can I see him?” she asked.

“We are shifting him to the ward. He is under sedatives now. Probably in a couple of hours. You can take him home tomorrow evening.”

“Thank you doctor.”

Despite Puru’s repeated request, Malti had refused to go home and take rest. At night only one person could stay with Abhinav and Malti insisted on staying. Puru had to let go. When they brough Abhinav home the next evening, Malti was completely exhausted.

“Are you okay?” Puru asked when she came back to the living room after putting Abhinav to bed.

“Yes… No… I am not… I am so scared…” She looked so vulnerable and broken down that Puru could not hold himself back. He went ahead and hugged her. She also willingly leaned on him for support and cried silently wetting his shirt. Neither of them realized when the hug of need and care from Malti’s and Puru’s side respectively turned passionate. Malti’s clutch on his back became harder and his reassuring pats on her head became rough caresses.

They were brought out of their reverie by Abhinav’s voice from the bedroom. “Mommy. I am in pain…” Startled out of her sense, Malti not only stepped back, but also pushed Puru away as violently as her exhausted and weak body allowed her. Their eyes met for a moment but he could not read anything in her eyes. Then she rushed inside to attend to her son.

When Malti came back after giving Abhinav the pain-killers the doctor had prescribed, the living room was empty. Puru had left. She sank down on the sofa and buried her head in her hands. Her mind was a whirlwind of confused thoughts. What had just happened between them? And what had she done? If their feelings were mutual… No… That wasn’t fair to him… He deserved better than her… But even if that was the case, this wasn’t how she should have told him that… She had pushed him away… Like… As if it was his fault… If it was a mistake, she was equally responsible… She had ended up insulting him… She knew she didn’t do it intentionally… She was just very confused and startled… But the harm was done… What was she to do now?

Malti had taken two days’ leave to attend to Abhinav. When she went back to work, she was taken aback by the news of the next assignment she had to take up. As if things were not complicated enough, she was now supposed to work on a negotiation with Municipal Corporation for Aeon Finances. The only relief was that Puru did not seem to be involved in the process at all. She thanked her stars that he had started delegating. But what was she to do about her aching heart? And Abhi’s?

Abhi asked her about Puru again that night.

“Mommy. Why is Puru Uncle not coming to meet me? He had promised he will come every day till I was well.”

“He got busy darling. He has work to do. And now you are well enough.”

“Is he angry with me?”

Abhi’s insecurity hurt her like daggers. Why Ritesh, why? You were tired of me, fine. But what about your son? You could have seen him once in a while, at least. Ritesh’ mother had a soft corner for her grandson. After their spearattion, she kept coming for a while to meet Abhi. Sometimes she would even take him with her to meet Ritesh. But after Ritesh remarried, she became too busy with her new daughter-in-law and in another year she had another grand child to shower her love over. Ritesh never bothered and that was something Malti could never understand. She snapped her attention back to Abhi and shrugged off the questions and regrets of past.

“Abhi, you are such a sweet boy. Nobody can ever be angry with you. Puru Uncle is just busy with his work, but he has told me that he would come to meet you in a day or two.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” she said confidently. She had to go to Aeon Finances the next day for work. She would meet him, negotiate with him and beg him, if needed. Her son need not be punished for her mistakes.

“He is in a meeting, Ma’am,” his assistant informed Malti, when she went to meet him.

“I will wait.”

“Can I have your card, Ma’am? I will send it to him,” the assistant had an inkling that Malti was a friend since she had seen her going for lunch with Puru once. So, she decided to inform Puru anyway.

Hardly a minute had passed, when Puru appeared in the reception. He was panting as if he had come running. He had obviouly left his meeting mid-way.

“Malti. You could have told me you were coming….”

“I… I just…”

“Come. Let’s go inside,” he directed her to his office and asked, “Are you all right?”

“I had come to talk about Abhi…”

“What happened to him? Any complications in recovering…”

“He is recovering fine… But wouldn’t it be unfair to him if he suffered because of no fault of his. He is missing you. He asks about you everyday. Whatever happened between us…”

“I’m also dying to meet him,” Puru interrupted, “I just thought… Let’s go now.”

“Now? But your work? And you have left a meeting mid-way…”

“I have learned to delegate. There is nothing unhandleable today. Let’s go. How have you come? In your car?”

“No. I came by company’s vehicle.”

“Company’s vehicle? Why?”

“I was here for work. We are handling the negotiations with Municipal Corporation about the land…”

“Oh! I had no idea. Fine then. We can use my car.”

Abhi immediately seemed much more recovered when Puru reached there.

“Puru Uncle. Why didn’t you come yesterday? And where are my chocolates?”

“Here,” Puru took out couple of chocolate bars from his pocket and Malti wondered when did he buy them. They hadn’t stopped on their way home.

“Abhi. Don’t ask him too many questions. I had told you he was busy,” Malti chided Abhinav.

“Let him be Malti. He is right in asking questions. I broke my promise.”

Malti smiled, “Have you had your lunch Puru?”

“Actually… no.”

“Let me feed Abhi. Then I will cook something quickly.”

“Okay. Just put some khichdi or something on the stove. That will do.”

“Fine.”

The medicines Malti gave Abhinav after his lunch made him sleepy. By the time Malti and Puru finished their lunch in Abhinav’s room, he was fast asleep. They came out of the room and sat down in the living room.

“Whom does he stay with when you are in the office?”

“The maid who left after we came. She stays with him until I come back.”

“Safety?”

“She is through a reputed agency and then I have these security cameras in all the room,” she pointed towards the one in the living room.

“Oh my God! You mean, we are being filmed all the time in your house,” Puru said with an obviously exaggerated sense of shock.

Malti laughed at that, “No. I switch them off the first thing when I come back.”

“Thank God,” his sigh was as mock as his shock earlier. Then he turned serious, “I would stay with him during the day time until he recovers fully.”

“What? No way. What about your work? This is not needed…”

“I want to… And I can work from here so long as there is Internet connection.”

“That is there. But…”

“Please Malti…”

Despite trying hard to hold them back, tears came to Malti’s eyes, “How would I ever pay you back for all you are doing for us?”

“You don’t need to. But if you want to you can.”

“How?”

“By forgiving me.”

“Forgiving you? For what?”

“For the other night. I crossed the line and at the wrong time. You were weak and vulnerable. I know what it must have looked like, but trust me Malti. I would never think of taking advtantage of you…”

“Is that why you had left?”

Puru nodded looking very embarrassed.

Malti was surprised and she felt the urge to confess what she had been feeling guilty about. But she stopped herself. If he hadn’t realized what her feelings were, it was better for him to not know. Right now just telling him that she did not hold him responsible was enough.

“It was a momentary weakness, from both of us Puru. You shouldn’t blame yourself for that. Nature has just wired us that way. But we can forget it and move on, can’t we?”

Too many questions came to his mind when she said that. He decided to clarify one by one.

“You are not angry at me?”

“No. I mean… if it was a mistake, it was as much mine as yours.”

Then why hadn’t she called him after that? Not even to ask why he went away? And what the hell it was about forgetting and moving on? He couldn’t forget. He didn’t want to forget. ‘Go slow, Puru!’ he thought and stopped himself from barraging her with questions.

“And Puru,” she spoke again, “You don’t need to give up your work and spend your days with Abhi to apologize for what was not your fault…”

“Malti. I might be a ruthless businessman and I like that image of mine. But this wasn’t a business proposal. I am not staying with him to get something in return from you. I am doing it because I want to. Because I am fond of your son. I care for him.” ‘And you,’ he had wanted to add, but didn’t.

“I know,” Malti smiled in embarrassment, “I am sorry.”

“It’s all right.”

“You didn’t tell me about Preethi?” Malti asked Puru the next day after she came back from the office. Abhi was feeling much better. He watched cartoons, while they had their tea.

“She is no longer talking about marriage…”

“Meaning?”

“I don’t know. She had said she will let me know. You remember that? But after that she has never mentioned the topic.”

“You didn’t ask?”

“I… I just didn’t want to start the topic, if she isn’t doing that.”

“May be she has given up on the idea after all.”

“I am trying to pursuade her to come here for a while. It would be easier to talk then.”

“Yeah.”

“Malti?”

“Hmm?”

“You have never told me about your family. I mean your parents…”

Malti’s reaction was a mix of surprise, hesitation, embarrassment and pain.

“My parents are dead,” she said slowly.

“I am sorry,” Puru said genuinely, although this information had not surprised him. Given that she never talked about them in her day to day life and they didn’t seem to have anything to do with her affairs, it was almost obvious that they were dead.

Malti did not say anything in reply and kept staring at her tea cup. They fell into the grip of an awkward silence for a few moments. Then she spoke, “You want to know more?”

“I do,” Puru said eagerly. While it was clear that something painful was going to come out, getting her to talk seemed like a good idea. And he did want to know her better.

“Ours was what you would call a average middle class family in Rai Bareilly. I had an elder sister and a younger brother. Though not pampered, I remember my childhood to be a fairly happy one. Until… until my sister was married. I was fifteen then. And her wedding was probably the last happy thing I remember in my family. We were all so excited… and then so emotional when she was going away from us. And then everything started going haywire. My sister’s in-laws won’t let her visit us. They demanded gifts and dowry… They wanted Papa to give them a car for Diwali. There was no way we could have managed it. We begged to be allowed to see Didi, to talk to her, to bring her back. They wouldn’t allow it… Sitting here today, it seems impossible that my parents didn’t take a legal recourse. But somehow, in that setting, in that society, taking legal action against your daughter’s family was unthinkable. Next time we saw her, almost one year after her marriage, she was dead. Supposedly an accident at home. But we knew the truth. Just one of those thousands of dowry killings that were passed off as accidents in the kitchen. Mummy and Papa were devastated. They felt so guilty that both of them went into depression. Our house was not cared for. Me and my brother lived like orphans. I tried to keep things together as much as I could, but I… I had my limitations. My brother was three years younger to me. And he started hating the environment at home. A year after Didi’s death, he ran away. My parents did not even try to find him. They did not let me go to police either. And then… Mummy died first. She committed suicide. I was in school and Papa was at office. Few months later, it was Papa… Heart attack… It happened at his office. I could not even talk to him one last time… I was eighteen by then. The insurance money came to me. It was enough to support me. I sold the house with the help of my neighbours and used that for my studies. What happened with Didi had prompted me to study law. But I did not end up becoming criminal lawyer after all. Ritesh came in…” Malti stopped here.

“Go on, Malti. Tell me,” Puru encouraged her to continue.

“In college I was a serious girl, focused on my studies and my career goals. Anything outside that did not matter to me. I did not waste time on movies or entertainment. My extra-curricular activities were strictly limited to the ones that could help me in my career. And I always prepared myself for the worst. If I wasn’t prepared sufficiently for a paper, I imagined that I would fail in it. If I did well in one exam, I worried that the next one will not be as good. And I worked harder… I didn’t take much pleasure in a good news, because I was afraid it will go away. If I topped in an exam, I stayed inside my room to avoid getting complemented. I felt like it would be jinxed… And then I happened to meet Ritesh. It was through a common friend – the few that I happened to have. And he was… he was different. He believed in enjoying life. I was a good student and most of my friends at college were in awe of me. They’d never make fun of my lifestyle. But Ritesh was unreserved. He questioned my inability to be happy, to enjoy what I had at present in the fear of losing it in future. And he motivated me to move on from my past. So what if bad things had happened. I did not have to cling to them. It won’t insult Didi if I took up corporate law instead of criminal law, if it helps me break free from bad memories. And I fell from him. Because he was so different from me. Because going with what he suggested did often make me happy, free, light headed. And I fell so hard that the day he proposed to me, I didnot even step back to ask why he had fallen for me. I just said – yes. I should have asked… Even if he did not realize, I might have realized that it was the idea of being in love that he was in love with. I followed him and it made him feel good, feel strong. He was not in love with me… I should have known…”

“Malti!” Puru interrupted.

“Sorry!” she wiped the tears that had flooded her eyes without her realizing, “This wasn’t what you had asked.”

“Just one thing. I have said it earlier too. Stop being so hard on yourself. It’s okay to be what you are. You are not obliged to fit into anyone else’s idea of who you should be. You are made by circumstances as much as by yourself. Given what you have gone through, it is not surprising that you are cautious, slightly skeptical, not so happy-go-lucky as some other people can be. But that’s fine. That’s perfectly fine. You keep asking me why I haven’t married yet. I will tell you today. You know my story. If you have seen any media coverage you probably know. I was sixteen when my father died. And there was not a penny in the savings. I have no clue what he was thinking. And Amma was out of her wits. Preethi was just a baby. I had no option but to take responsibility. I took it up then. And the result is that now I am already tired of taking responsibilties. Most of the women I meet, or whom Amma keeps choosing for me are so needy, so dependent… I just can’t have another person dependent on me. Between Amma, Preethi and my company I am done! Do I sound like a coward? Yes. Does that make me look weak? Hell – yes! But this is what I am. And what anybody else thinks, I don’t care. You shouldn’t care either.”

Malti was staring at him looking spell-bound. Then she smiled and said genuinely, “Wow!”

“Sorry,” Puru grinned in embarrassment, “I got carried away.”

“Now, at least you won’t have me nagging you to get married. So, you can be at peace.”

Puru smiled and then got up to leave, “I should leave now.”

“Stay for dinner.”

“Amma is expecting me. Apparently there are guests at home.”

“Ah! Okay. Can’t hold you back then.”

“Let me say bye to Abhi. And take care.”

“Sure.”

More than what she had said about her parents and siblings, Puru recalled what she had said about Ritesh. ‘I didnot even step back to ask why had he fallen for me… I should have asked… Even if he did not realize, I might have realized that it was the idea of being in love that he was in love with… He was not in love with me… I should have known…’ He thanked his stars that he had not said anything about his feelings in a hurry to her. She would not believe another “I love you” from someone easily.

Malti was going through a confusing tug of war in her mind. He did not want any more responsibilities. So, obviously he would never want her. What can be a bigger responsibility than that of a child? She should be at peace after hearing that. There would be no complications between her and Puru. Plus, it wasn’t like even if he had wanted, she could have burdened his life with someone as messed up as herself. He deserved better. So, it should all feel perfect. But why was there a tinge of disappointment and even hurt somewhere inside her?

“What’s going on?” Malti entered Abhinav’s room to find him and Puru enthusiastically peering into something on Puru’s laptop.

“Mommy. We are seeing the photos of the best universities in the world,” Abhinav explained enthusiastically.

“I see.”

“And we are figuring out where Abhi would like to study when he grows up. Right Abhi?” Puru added in a similar enthusiastic tone.

“I would say it’s a bit early for that. But good… Being early won’t hurt.”

“Mommy. We have a surprise for you,” Abhinav suddenly remembered something else.

“Yeah? What is it?”

“I will get it,” he got down from the bed and rushed out. Malti looked on fondly.

“Look Malti. These places are really so gorgeous.”

“Yeah. Most universities have these beautiful old buildings.”

“Yours had one too?”

“Yep.”

“Wow!”

“You look so fascinated with them.”

“You aren’t?”

“Umm… I was… Until I went to one of them. I have never seen anyone so fascinated about universities after having been through them.”

“Well – that might be the reason?”

“Excuse me?”

“I never finished my graduation. Never went to a university.”

“What?”

Puru shrugged his shoulders with a slight smile.

“Wow! I could never have guessed that.”

“Guessed what? That I am an uneducated idiot?”

“Come on. That’s not how it is. And how does formal education matter now? You have been so successful without that.”

“It does matter Malti, I think. You wouldn’t want someone like that, someone like me to be your son’s father, would you?”

Malti smiled silently for a moment, then said, “I wish my son’s father was even a bit like you.”

“Mommyyyy…” Abhinav ran back almost shouting in excitement, “Happy Mother’s Day.” He handed her a huge box of chocolates and a card.

Malti’s eyes widened in surprise, “Oh my God! Thank you darling, thank you so much.” She hugged him tight.

“You are welcome.”

“But who told you about it?”

“Puru Uncle.”

Malti looked at him, clearly getting emotional, “Thanks! This was… very thoughtful.”

“I’m sure that when he grows up and starts understanding the world, he would be very proud of his mother,” Puru said, “I won’t need to guide him then.”

“So, I guess you could not finish your studies because you started working to support your family,” Malti asked him later, when Abhinav got busy with his cartoon shows on TV.

“Pretty much that… Followed my father’s footsteps and started with stock-broking. Then learned a lot on the field and started this company. But I have been very insecure because of that. If I hadn’t been able to build this company, where would my family be? Earning a decent livelihood would have been impossible.”

“You have built it now. They would be so proud of you. You should be too… Bill Gates is also a college drop out by the way,” Malti said light-heartedly.

That made him smile, “So, you really don’t think it matters?”

“I don’t. And I am finding it funny that you would feel bad about it at this stage. You should be flaunting it. You employ so many educated people, MBAs and all in your company now. You pay their salaries!”

They were meeting with the mayor for the land negotiation and hence Malti and her team thought that Puru’s presence in the meeting will be essential. She briefed him on the current proposals from both sides and also what they were expecting to achieve.

The mayor walked in half an hour late and on being introduced to Puru and everyone else on the team passed a snide remark, “Has it come down to this Mr. Reddy? You need to put a woman to shield you when you talk to us?”

“Excuse me?” Puru was surprised, then furious at the remark.

Mayor realized that his remark was not taken well and tried to do the damage control, “I was only joking Mr. Reddy…”

“No. You were not. And this is how the mayor of our city treats the women? Let me tell you, she is a thousand times better qualified than you and any of your political bosses.”

“Puru! Let it go,” Malti tried to control him.

“I am not negotiating with this guy,” Puru was unstoppable, “If they don’t agree to our terms, we will build our office in some other city.”

“For God’s sake Puru. Calm down,” Malti said. Others present in the meeting did not know what to do and were just staring at Puru, Mayor and Malti.

“You are over-reacting Mr. Reddy,” even Mayor got angry, “We have many takers for the land…”

“Of course. But just how much of your election fund is supported by the companies in Mumbai? And you do know the people who can affect decisions in those quarters. And yes – good luck with your career, if I go public in the media with this brilliant comment of yours. Let’s go.”

Puru walked out of the room without giving anyone else a chance to speak. Others from his company had to follow him.

“I am extremely sorry for this Mr. Mayor. We will get this sorted,” Malti tried to do some damage control before following him.

“What the hell is wrong with you Puru?” Malti was furious and shouted at him in his office, “You are not so naive. This keeps happening all the time.”

“Then it shouldn’t happen. At least it wouldn’t happen when I am there.”

“Don’t you understand, even this mistake of his was a leverage for us. Sooner or later we might have used the same threat of media that you gave him. Or the issue of election funds. But this is not how it is used. This is not how business is done. Do I have to tell you that?”

“Everything is not business.”

“Really? This is not business? What is it then? Explain please.”

“Let it be. You won’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“This is about you and this is about me. This is about the fact that I can’t and won’t let anyone insult you. Ever! So long as I am around, nobody can come in your way or harm you. And whether you like it or not, whether you accept me or not, whether you understand any of it or not, I am not going to stop being around you. Do you understand me? Even if not, it doesn’t matter.”

Malti was too stunned to react to it. She had never seen him like he had been today. First so angry, then so passionate. He wasn’t known to be a person who ever raised his voice. His ways of working may be ruthless, but he always did it while maintaining his calm and cool. With her, he had never been anything, but gentle, caring and friendly. What had made him behave like this.

And that’s when she realized the full import of what he had said. He wouldn’t let her be insulted or harmed. He wouldn’t stop being around her. One did not need to be rocket scienist to understand what he had just said.

“What did you say?”

“You heard it. And you probably don’t want to believe it or accept it.”

“You have gone crazy.”

“I feel perfect with this feeling.”

Suddenly an alarm went off in her mobile, “I have to pick Abhi up from his summer classes now. I will talk to you later,” she said.

“I will come with you.”

‘Whether you accept me or not, I am not going to stop being around you,’ she recalled. She sighed and nodded.

They picked Abhinav up and left him at home with the maid.

“You want to talk? Or you have to go back to work?” Puru asked as they drove away from her home.

“Thanks to your outburst this morning, I don’t have much work left. If you are free, let’s go to a coffee shop.”

“I am not apologizing for what I did.”

“Right.”

“No. He is not going to apologize and he has all the intentions of going to the media… Sorry… It is out of my hands… He is my client. I can advise him, not dictate… Right… Thanks….” Malti had a tough time keeping exasperation out of her voice as she answered the call from the mayor’s office. They were about to enter the coffee shop, when the call came.

“I hate you for doing this, Puru,” Malti told him in a tired voice.

“I’m sorry.”

“I thought you were not going to apologize.”

“I am not apologizing for what I said to him. But if it affects your reputation, your career, that is not what I want. I will talk to your manager myself.”

“You said it was not business. So, now I am asking not as a lawyer, but as a friend, what is wrong? What has been bothering you? He had pretty much apologized immediately. Why did you flare up after that? What do you want?”

“This is not how I had planned to explain it.”

“What had you planned?”

“I had no plans, especially after I heard about your experience with Ritesh. I know you would not be willing to trust.But you asked me what I want. Is it so difficult to guess? I want you, Malti.”

“Puru!”

They were interrupted by the waiter at that point and awkwardly placed their orders for coffee before continuing.

“That’s what it is,” Puru said, “Will I get what I want?”

“You are being ridiculous. You are making the same mistake that Ritesh did.”

“It is unfair that I should be made answerable for what Ritesh did. But why do you say that? What mistake am I making?”

“What mistake?? Puru! You have not married till date because you did not want more responsibility. And now you want me. A divorcee with an eight year old child to take care of. There can not be a responsibility bigger than a child in the world. Is it really unfair if I think you are out of your mind?”

“When you drive yourself crazy balancing between your demanding job and caring for Abhi, always ignoring your own needs, do you feel like you are taking care of an unwanted responsibility?”

“What kind of question is that?” Malti fumed, “Abhi is not unwanted, nor is he a responsibility for me. He is my life. He is…”

“Right. He is not a responsibility. He is joy, sheer joy of life. Can’t you share that joy with me?”

Malti was speechless for a moment. Then she said weakly, “You are great with kids, Puru. Get married, have your own kids. You will be happy.”

“I want only one kid. And he is already with you.”

“Your deserve better, Puru,” her voice was still weak and sad.

“Let me decide what I deserve. If you really want me to not mention it ever again, this is all you have to do. Tell me that you… you don’t like me. I am not challenging you. I really want to know. If you don’t want me in your life, you just have to say it. I will never talk of it again.”

“I don’t want to lose your friendship,” Malti got tears in her eyes as she said it. She was genuinely scared.

“You won’t lose that ever, irrespective of what you decide. If anything ever changes, it will only be to add to our friendship, not take anything away from it. Please don’t cry, Malti. Don’t work yourself up like this. You don’t have to answer now. Take your time. As much time as you want. I won’t mention it again, until you do. Is that okay?”

Malti discreetly wiped her tears and nodded.

“Let’s have coffee and then I will drop you home. Take off for the rest of the day.”

“Malti,” Puru stopped her as she was about to get out of the car in front of her home, “Just one thing. I know and completely understand that you are cautious about happiness. You fear that it will go away. And that’s natural. Give how you lost your family, and then Ritesh… I can’t say that happiness never goes away. That’s obviously not true. But I can promise this. If you can find happiness with me, then till I have alive, that happiness is not going to go away.”

Malti nodded and got out. Puru looked on until she disappeared from his sight and then drove away.

Malti asked the maid to make noddles for Abhi and went to him herself. He was doing his summer homework. He was disciplined in those respects. She never had to force him to complete his homework, even during normal school days.

“Mommy! You came back early today.”

“Yeah. I didn’t have any work.”

“Did Puru Uncle drop you? I think I heard his car.”

How perceptive he was! And especially for Puru.

“Yes, he did.”

“Why didn’t he come home?”

“He had work, darling. He will come some other time.”

“Okay. I am almost done with my homework quota for today. Can I watch TV for half an hour extra? Please!”

Malti smiled affectionately, “Okay. Finish the homework and we will watch it together.”

“Abhi,” Malti asked him during a break in the cartoon programme, “You like Puru Uncle?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“He is nice. He has promised to take me to the zoo on this weekend.”

Malti smiled and sighed. If Abhi’s welfare was her first concern in life, then Puru seemed the answer to all her prayers. And about herself, there wasn’t much to be said. Should she let go of her fears then? Should she go ahead and grab what was practically being served on a platter to her? Or should she be cautious as she naturally was and avoid trying to get so much that its loss would be devastating. What should she do?

Malti did not tell Puru the snide remarks she heard from Mayor’s office about her relationship with him, when she met them to discuss the issue again.

“They will come around I think,” she told him in his office.

“Okay. Thanks. And Malti. If it has become difficult because of what I did, feel free to drop it. It’s…”

“Let me try first. The situation is not as doomed as it might have appeared at first. Now that all the threats have been made, we might as well gain out of it.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah,” she said and fell silent.

“I should leave now. Need to finish some work at office as well,” she finally said after a few moments.

“Malti. You wanted to say something? I was waiting…”

“No… I mean yes… It’s…”

“The negotiator is tongue-tied. That’s funny,” Puru teased.

“Negotiation is easy.”

Puru turned serious, “Tell me, Malti. You don’t need to hesitate before me.”

“When did it happen? I can’t believe you ever thought about me… How? When?”

Puru sighed and smiled before replying, “You would hate me, if I told you the truth.”

“Tell me.”

“Since we worked together in Delhi.”

“What? You are joking, right?”

The extent of her surprise made Puru chuckle. But he replied sincerely, “I am not joking. I am not lying. ”

“But why? Why me?”

She needed an answer to that question. It was the root of her insecurities. Puru also knew that.

“Well… It will be difficult to give you a crisp list of reasons. But among other things the fact that you were so dependable… Nobody had ever told me earlier – ‘Let me handle it for you and relax’. One of those expressions that never go out of my mind.”

Malti just stared at him without replying. So, he spoke again, “Malti. I am too old and have seen too much of the world to be in love with the idea of being in love. And my feelings for you have remained the same, even though for most part of last five years and more, I had no hopes that I would even meet you again.”

Malti smiled as if she had finally registered what was being said.

“What is it?” Puru asked.

She downcast her eyes as she replied, “This is crazy… Unbelievably crazy… Five years ago… To think that it was the same time when I was struggling with myself. Struggling between my feelings for you and my responsibilities towards my marriage. And finally I had changed my job, just to stay away from you. Otherwise I would have done something stupid. And I stopped myself everytime I felt like dialing your number…. Then and even after I met you again. Here in Mumbai…”

She hadn’t been looking at him and did not realize when he got up from his chair and walked around the table to come near her. She suddenly felt his hands on her shoulders. She got up taking the hint.

“Did I just hear what I think I did?” he asked in a heavy, throaty voice she had never heard him talk in, but the woman in her knew just what it meant. She shivered, as his hands caressed her arms. Then he cupped her face as he said in the same voice, “Don’t be angry. I can’t help it.” He closed in on her and kissed her on her lips passionately. There was no holding back even her now. She put her hands around his neck and kissed him back as passionately. She was panting by the time they parted. But Puru was strong and in control.

“I should have known this earlier,” he said, “If I had known… Anyway. Now our fates are sealed, Malti. I am not going to let you run away from me.”

She smiled nervously and stepped back to gain control of herself. “I have to go back to the office,” she said in a meek tone that was quite uncharacteristic of her.

“I will meet you for dinner.”

She nodded and left.

Puru noticed just a hint of make-up, more than usual, on Malti’s face when she opened the door for him. He was about to complement her when Abhinav also came running.

“Puru Uncle. You must see my new paintings. My teacher said they were very good.”

“Really? I must see them then,” he shot a meaningful glance and smile at Malti who was still holding the door and went in with Abhi.

Malti left him them alone and went back into the kitchen, where she was before he had come. She was cooking a full meal.

“My negotiator-lawyer had a change of profession, I see,” she was startled by his voice.

“You scared me!”

“What charming welcome!”

“Huh?”

“Those are the first words you have said to me this evening since I arrived. No hi, no hello, no welcome kiss…”

“You have fared no better Mr. Reddy. Your first words were something about my profession. What did it mean, anyway?”

“You are on your way to become a full time chef, it seems.”

“Dream on! Enjoy your luck for one evening.”

Puru had come close to her by then and planted a quick, soft kiss on her head from behind, “That I will do. And not just for this evening, but for all my life now.”

“Where is Abhi?”

“Yeah. I had come to ask you if you had already fed him.”

“I had. Why?”

“Because he has fallen asleep.”

“He has?” Malti turned and looked at him surprised, “How come? He doesn’t sleep until I read to him.”

“You are forgetting the night he spent with me camping. Anyway, I discoverd this trick by mistake. I offered to read to him and before I realized, he was asleep.”

“Wow! Looks like if he has you, he won’t need me at all.”

“What rubbish! What makes you think so?” Puru said seriously.

“I was joking, Puru.”

“Tell me honestly, though. Do you feel comfortable with me being around him? Do you feel he is safe?”

“Of course, I do. If I didn’t, I’d never have gone so far. And… not only do I feel comfortable when you are with him, I feel happy. He needs a father figure…”

“A father… He needs a father and I will try my best. I will try to be as good as his Mommy is.”

Malti’s eyes became moist.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. I am… just happy. So happy that…” she hesitated in completing what she was saying.

“So happy that you are scared?”

She nodded a yes.

“The fear, I promise, will go away,” he said as they gently hugged.

“The food was delicious and you cooked so much.”

“It has been ages since I cooked a full meal. Otherwise, I generally just cook whatever Abhi wants and then stuff myself with leftovers and something quick.”

“Well. That will change too.”

“Too many changes.”

“For good.”

“Yeah,” she smiled, “By the way, did you hear anything from Preethi?”

“Oh yes! She is coming here next month. Earlier she wasn’t willing to come before winters, but suddenly she decided she wants to. And I was really happy about that. We can talk face to face. I don’t know what she is up to.”

“That’s great.”

They were done with clearing the table by then.

“Malti.”

“Hmm?”

“Will you talk to her when she is here? I am worried about her, but I don’t know if I will be able to get her to talk. I have been a strict guardian and somewhere…”

“I will talk. Don’t worry.”

“Thanks.”

“But there was someone else I was thinking about…”

“Yeah? I wish you would concentrate on me now. You have evaded me for so long,” he teased her.

“Shut up. I was talking about your mother,” Malti sat down on the sofa and Puru also sat down next to her. This gesture of familiarity made Malti smile inwardly.

“What about my mother?” Puru asked carelessly as he put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him.

“How would she react? To me?”

“I don’t know,” Puru replied non-chalantly as he laced the fingers of his other hand with hers.

“I am serious Puru,” Malti got anxious.

“Okay. Then listen to me carefully,” he finally spoke seriously to Malti’s relief, “My best guess is that she won’t be elated. In the worst case, she would throw tantrums. But in any case, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“How can I not worry about it? Of course, I have to…”

“No,” he was firm, “I have done my duty towards my family Malti. As best as I could. They didn’t have to suffer after my father’s death. Not for long, anyway. And I will continue to do that in future. There is a part of me that will always work for the well-being of Amma and Preethi. But you Malti… You are that part of my life that is only mine. Nobody else will have any say in it. And if anybody tries to, fighting them off is my responsibility. I promise that you and Abhi will never have to worry about anyone else. I don’t want you to. I need you to be on my side.”

Malti was looking at him with expressions that could only be called fascination.

“What is it?” he asked.

She nodded her head with a smile, “After what happened today, where else can I be, but by your side, Puru? And although we may have to discuss the nitti-gritties…” she paused here and laughed slightly at the formality of her expression, before continuing, “But what is it that I am seeing in you since yesterday? What has come upon you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I have never seen you so… worked up… The way you reacted at mayor’s office. And then again now… You don’t lose your cool like that normally, do you? If a third person heard you, they would almost think that some danger is looming over me that you are trying to protect me from.”

“Like it or not, but you do that to me… It’s just a coincidence that it never got expressed earlier. But… do I annoy or scare you?”

“It affecting work did annoy me yesterday. But not otherwise. It’s actually quite s…” Malti paused. The word she had in mind was ‘sexy’, but she felt too shy and hesitant to say it. They still had a long way to go and they were not so intimate yet. She searched for a substitute in her mind and the best she could come up with was “… different and interesting”.

But it seemed Puru had guessed her original thought. He looked at her with such desire, passion and longing that for a moment she thought he will drag her to the bed right away. But she saw him taking a deep breath. Then he leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I will leave now. I don’t want to, but…”

“Then stay,” Malti said without thinking.

“We need to give Abhi time to adjust to us.”

She nodded, not wanting to appear as desperate as she felt. Already the invitation to stay sounded too forward. She walked with him to the door. She said before he stepped out, “Abhi adores you.” If she had any doubts about that, she woudld never have considered how much she needed and wanted Puru..

“I know. But there is a journey to be made – from uncle to father.”

“Yeah. Good night, Puru.”

“Good night, Malti.”

“Puru!”

“Yeah?”

“Have you told them? About… us?” Preethi had come home and Puru thought it was the best time for Malti to meet his family.

“Why are you so nervous, Malti?”

“Just tell me… Please.”

“I haven’t. But I will. Before you come.”

“So, you will drop the bomb just before I come?”

“Malti! All right.I will tell them as soon as I go home. But please. Stop being so nervous. If you worry like that, I will cancel the entire plan.”

“Come on Puru. Who is the one really getting worked up here? My nevousness is natural.”

“Then the natural solution would be to not have you meet them.”

“Come on.”

“I am quite serious.”

“I see. How would you marry me, then? Or do you…”

“I will live in sin and if you don’t want that, better relax. You are not going to give a test or anything.”

“Okay. There is no point arguing with you my dear knight in shining armour,” Malti said playfully, “Go now and please do tell them before I come.”

“I will. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Malti had to make a little shopping trip. Since separating from Ritesh, he collection of Indian outfits had dwindled slowly. She mostly wore western formals to work and jeans or long skirts otherwise. Trying to discuss with Puru a suitable outfit for meeting his mother would have been futile. So, she had to figure that out herself. She bought a simple, but elegant cotton salwar-kameez in subdued gray and white.

Puru met her at the gate itself. It was half past six. It was decided that she should come a bit early so that they had time to mingle and talk before the dinner.

“You were waiting for me here?” Malti was pleasntly surprised to see him waiting.

“I knew that irrespective of what I told you, you would be nervous and I didn’t want you returning from the gate… Where is Abhi? Has he fallen ill? Why didn’t you call me? And…”

“Calm down. He is fine. The maid is staying with him.”

“Why didn’t you bring him? I… I probably didn’t say it explicitly, but wasn’t it a given…”

“I know. It’s not about you asking. It’s just that… I didn’t know how he would… I mean he might not be comfortable in a new setting, with new people. I thought it was the first time…”

Puru’s eyes pierced through her. He knew and she knew that he knew. She was nervous about meeting her future mother-in-law with an eight year old child.

“What the…” Puru felt angry, but controlled himself. “Come in,” he said as he gave Malti’s key to the security person to park her car. Puru’s stiffness was obvious and Malti felt helpless. She felt like she had let him and Abhi down. She looked at him hoping to say something, but he was looking straight ahead as they walked towards the main house.

Before she knew it they were in the hall, and Puru’s mother and sister were there. Puru introduced them and they greeted each other.

“I hope you didn’t have problems in reaching here. Puru should have picked you up,” Amma said.

“Oh no! He had work to do. He couldn’t have chauffered me around. It was very easy to reach.” Inwardly Malti was amused at the idea that Puru should have picked her up because she might have had trouble finding the place.

They started talking about her job, Preethi’s studies and other general things, while one of the maids served coffee and snacks.

“Coffee is nice,” Malti said genuinely.

“It’s filter coffee. You don’t generally get it here.”

“Right. In fact, I have only heard about filter coffee in the ads for instant coffee,” Malti said and her little joke made everyone chuckle.

Just as Malti thought the atmosphere was becoming relaxed, Puru surprised her, “Malti. Abhi would be done with his friend’s party, right? I will go and pick up him up.”

Malti stared at him and then realized what he was trying to do.

Malti stuttered a bit while replying, “I… I don’t know… And the maid is… there for him…”

“But it’s quite late for kids’ party. I am going,” he said and left Malti flustered. She didn’t know what to say and she also saw Amma stiffening at the mention of Abhi.

Preethi broke the awkward silence as she asked, “Till he comes back, we can enjoy by ourselves. Do you play cards?”

“Yes. Of course,” Malti was not particualarly fond of cards, but at that moment she would have welcomed any distraction.

“Amma, would you join?” Preethi asked her mother.

“No, You two play. I will check on the dinner in the kitchen.”

“We can help you,” Malti offered.

“No. Don’t worry. The cook is there. I will just oversee it. Anyway, it is Andhra food. You would not know how to cook that.”

“No,” Malti smiled in embarrassment.

“I thought so. But you do eat it, right? Puru told me…”

“Yes. I am quite fond of South Indian food actually…”

“Andhra food is spicy. Is that fine with you? Or should I ask the cook to keep it less spicy.”

“No spicy is perfectly fine,” Malti said wanting to fit in, but she wondered how would she feed Abhi. He couldn’t eat spicy food at all. She prayed that the maid had fed him before Puru reached to pick him up.

“Mommyyy,” Abhi ran excitedly to Malti, the chocolate Puru had bought for him still in his hands, only half-eaten, “Why didn’t you tell me Puru Uncle was going to suprise me?”

“If I had told you, it won’t have remained a surprise, right?” Malti smiled at him carrying on Puru’s harmless lie to the kid.

“True.”

“And now Abhi is going to guess who is Naanamma here and who is Preethi Auntie,” Puru said playfully. Malti found Amma and Preethi looking at Puru in surprise. She guessed that they had probably never seen him with a kid.

“This is easy to guess. She is Preethi Auntie and she is Naanamma,” Abhi pointed towards Preethi and Amma respectively.

“And what exactly is Naanamma?” Malti asked.

“It means Grand Mother,” Abhi explained eagerly.

“In Telugu,” Puru added and sat down beside Malti on the sofa, with Abhi on his lap.

“Such a sweet kid,” Preethi said, “Come to me.”

“Go and say hello, Abhi,” Puru told him.

Abhi went to Preethi without hesitation.

“So, what’s your name, darling?” Preethi asked him to start the conversation.

“Why are you asking me? Puru Uncle called me by my name so many times,” Abhi replied making everyone laugh. Malti couldn’t help, but notice that Amma had only forced a smile on her face. She wasn’t really happy.

“Right,” Preethi said continuing to maintain a facade of seriousness, “What to do. I am not as intelligent as you are. But I really like the chocoate you are eating. Can I have a piece?”

“Are you my friend?”

“Of course, I am.”

“Then you can have it,” Abhi replied once again making everyone laugh.

“Had he eaten something before leaving?” Malti asked Puru in a low voice, while Preethi played with Abhi and Amma went to check on the dinner.

“No. I asked the maid to not feed him. He had some snacks on the way. He will eat with us.”

Malti just nodded, not saying anything, hoping that she would find something that Abhi will be able to eat.

They all moved to the dining table to have dinner.

“What is there for Abhi?” Puru asked casually.

“Doesn’t he eat regular food?” Amma replied, “He is old enough.”

“But this is too spicy Amma,” Puru said.

“I… I didn’t realize… May be he can have curd rice.”

Malti fidgeted. She was sure Abhi would not have curd rice, but she wasn’t comfortable with how Abhi’s food was becoming an issue.

“Amma… He hasn’t grown up in a Telugu household. How could you…” Puru’s anger was taking the same intensity that Malti often saw in him when it concerned her and Abhi.

“Puru! Puru, please,” she intervened, “It’s not a big deal. He loves noodles. There would be some noodles in the kitchen, right?”

“Yes, yes, there is,” Preethi said. She was the one who had asked the cook to get noodles, as she liked them.

Malti sighed in relief, “That would work very well.”

“I will ask the cook…” Preethi started to get up.

“No Preethi. Amma, if you don’t mind, I will make the noodles myself. Need to make it watery and less spicy for him,” Malti asked.

Amma looked at Puru and then nodded to Malti, “Sure.”

“I will show you the ktichen,” Puru said and got up wanting to get some time with her alone.

“I am sorry,” both of them said as soon as they were alone on their way to the kitchen. Puru smiled wryly, “Later I guess. Let’s cook the noodles first.”

“You should go back. I will cook it and get it. It’s better if one of us stays with Abhi.”

“Okay. Here is the kitchen. Ask the cook for anything you need.”

“I will. Thanks.”

“It’s late Malti. I would drop you home. I will send your car with the driver tomorrow morning,” Puru said after the dinner was over. It wasn’t really needed. But Malti realized that it was an alibi because he wanted to talk to her. So, she nodded. Their drive was mostly spent in listening to Abhi’s constant, excited chatter. But he was tired and slept off soon after they came back.

“Sorry about the dinner fiasco. I didn’t realize…” Puru said after Abhi was asleep.

“Oh! Don’t even bother about it. It was nothing.”

“What is it, Malti?” Puru guessed she was struggling with something by looking at her anxious face and downcast eyes.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Puru, by not bringing Abhi with me. In my moment of nervousness, I let you and Abhi – both down…”

“I am not hurt Malti. Why do you say that?”

“You were angry. I could sense that.”

“Not at you.”

“Then?”

“I don’t know. Probably at myself.”

“Why?”

“Tell me something honestly, Malti. If it was any other social occasion, would you have left Abhi behind?”

“No,” Malti replied after a pause knowing where this was going.

“Weren’t you feeling guilty about leaving him behind?”

She choked and couldn’t speak out her reply. She just nodded her head to say yes.

“That is what I did not like. I know what Abhi is to you Malti. And you have always been a great mother, despite being alone. I would hate myself, if I ever came in the way of your relationship with Abhi or your duties towards him.”

Tears started flowing out of Malti’s eyes by then. Puru moved forward and said while wiping her tears, “And this is for purely selfish reasons Malti. Firstly I know very well that I can not have you, if you ever felt like you were losing Abhi. I won’t delude myself on that count. He has come in your life before me. Second, I know how a child feels if his parents are not able to do their duties towards him. That is not a pain I would ever want him to suffer.”

Malti broke down completely at that. She hugged him tight and sobbed uncontrollably. He gently patted her head, until she calmed down.

“Why this conflict, Malti? You know that I love him. Probably I can’t do it as much as you do. But…”

“I know. It’s not about you. I just… I am sorry. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

“Shall I leave now? Will you be okay?”

“Yes. Don’t worry about me.”

“You are meeting Preethi for lunch on Saturday?”

“Yeah. Will you take Abhi with you somewhere? I would like to spend some time with her.”

“Sure.”

“And Puru…”

“What happened?”

“Don’t try to coach her too much on what she should or should not say to me. Let it be natrual.”

Puru looked surprised, “How did you know…”

“It was obvious, Puru. Whenever you were around, Amma and Preethi both seemed to look at you for approval everytime they said or did something.” Malti paused and spoke again when Puru did not say anything, “I know that you just wanted to protect me, to make sure that they didn’t inadvertently hurt me. But you can’t compartmentalize your life like that. You can’t have them in a separate compartment and me and Abhi in a separate one. It won’t work that way. I know Amma won’t accept us quickly. Probably she never will. But we have to live with that. If you try to stand like wall between us, she would always have a grudge against me. Let’s not do that. Let’s not give her more reasons to hate me than she already has.”

“Nobody hates you.” Puru had a despearation in his voice.

“No. She doesn’t hate me. She hates the woman who has bewitched her son despite being a divorcee and forced the responsibility of her child on him,” Malti laughed to assure him that this point of view did not affect her.

“Bewitch me? Yes – that you have done!” Puru also smiled.

“And I don’t claim Puru that I will, somehow, be able to win her heart. It’s unlikely. I am unlikely to be the ideal daughter-in-law she had in mind. So – yes. I need you to be by my side, to protect me. But not necessarily by antagonizing her even before she has said or done anything wrong.”

“Fine. I will do whatever you want. But I will never stand on the sides, if someone insults you or harms you. Even if the person is my own mother.”

“I know. But don’t punish anyone for the crime they have not committed.”

“Yes. Your Honour!” Puru smiled.

“Where is Abhi?” Preethi asked when she came to Malti’s home for lunch on the Saturday.

“He is out with Puru.”

“He is quite comfortable with Anna, isn’t he?”

“Oh yes. Puru is a natural with kids.”

“I hadn’t imagined that about him.”

“Really? But you are much younger, aren’t you? I thought he was a like a guardian to you.”

“Yes. A serious, if not tough, kind of guardian.”

“He really cares for you.”

“He does.”

“He has been really worried about you recently.”

Preethi looked anxious, “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, Preethi. And I am your friend.”

“He told you?”

“He needed help.”

“Why from you?”

“Because he thought, and rightly so, that sometimes a woman understands another woman better.”

Preethi sighed.

Malti spoke again, “Preethi. You can trust me.”

Preethi gave a half smile, “Trust you? To not tell Anna what I confide in you?”

“Trust me to do what is best for you. Why would you want to hide something from him?”

“May be because I have done something horrible?”

“Made a mistake, you mean? We all make mistakes.”

“But not everyone can forgive every mistake.”

“If you are in any legal trouble, you have a lawyer sitting before you to help you. If not, then there is no reason why you can’t move on from a mistake. But if you share with right people, it will help you get over it and not make the same mistake again. Tell me Preethi, what’s up with Dave?”

“How do you know his name?” Preethi was taken aback, “I never told Anna…”

“I was there when he was talking to you. After getting your e-mail… You said something like you would talk to Dave and get back…”

“Oh!”

“So, what happened?”

“He didn’t want to get married.”

“After Puru had agreed?”

“It’s complicated, Malti.”

“Your brother and I, both have seen our share of complications in life. Speak it out.”

“I was alone. I didn’t know what to do… I did something horrible…” Preethi started breaking down. The mask of arrogant teenager started coming off and Malti saw a scared child there. She reminded him of how Abhi used to get scared of the lizards, when he was younger.

“You are not alone, now,” Malti pressed Preethi’s hands.

“Don’t tell Anna please,” Preethi’s eyes became moist.

“If I tell him, consequences are for me to bear. Not you – I promise.”

“I was pregnant,” Preethi said in a trembling voice. Malti had not imagined that. She was so shocked that she was about to withdraw her hands back from Preethi’s. But she controlled herself in time. Reacting like that will do no good to Preethi’s already down morales.

“Are you still…”

“No. I had an abortion. And I don’t know what was more horrible. Getting pregnant or having an abortion.”

“You wanted to get married because you were pregnant?”

Preethi nodded.

“But if Dave wasn’t agreeing anyway…”

“He had challenged me that if could get my family to agree, he would marry me.”

“And he thought they would never agree.”

Preethi nodded.

“I am sorry Preethi,” Malti said after a pause trying to collect her thoughts as best as she could, “I… I did not think you could be in such trouble. I thought it was just… some teenage tantrum of yours. I should have adviced him to talk to you seriously… I just…”

“Why are you blaming yourself? You didn’t think that I could be so stupid… Why should anyone think so?”

“Preethi. It’s over now. But the first thing I need to know is whether you are okay? I mean physically. Where did you get your… abortion done? Have you seen a doctor since?”

Preethi nodded in negative.

“We must see a doctor…”

“No! I can’t have Anna or Amma knowing.”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

“They will not talk to me again.”

“Preethi! Listen to me. They will do no such thing. I take Puru’s responsibility. And if he doesn’t think we should tell Amma, we won’t tell him.”

“How can you be so sure about Anna?” Preethi was crying.

Malti walked to her and gave a side hug, “I have some influence over him. Trust me.” Preethi looked at her and nodded. She had realized this much that her brother was madly in love with this woman; so her confidence might not be misplaced.

“Come now. Let’s eat something.”

“I should leave now,” Preethi said after they were done eating.

“Puru would be here soon. You can leave with him. I am not sure you should go alone.”

“I am fine. I… am not sure… I can face him right now.”

“Fine. Whatever is comfortable for you. I will find out about a good doctor and take you there as soon as I get an appointment.”

Preethi nodded.

After she left, Malti got time to think over the entire thing again. She realized that she shared Preethi’s dilemma. What was worse? That Preethi got pregnant at such a tender age? Or that a baby was aborted? The idea of abortion sent a chill down her spine. She thought of Abhi and felt a desperate need to see and hold him. As if God answered her prayers, she heard Abhi’s voice on the stairs. She rushed out and ran into Abhi and Puru as soon as she opened the door. She kneeled and hugged Abhi tight surprising Puru. Abhi did not find anything amiss and started talking about what all he did with Puru Uncle while still in her embrace. Puru, however, noticed that something was not quite right with Malti. Her eyes were almost moist.

“He is all right, Malti,” he said softly.

“Yeah,” Malti felt embarrassed and let him go, “So, you bought balloons again Abhi? Puru Uncle is spoiling you.”

“Tell Mommy that only one week of summer vacation is left for you and after that there won’t be much time to get spoiled,” Puru replied instead of Abhi.

“Do you want to eat something Abhi?”

“No. I had samosas a while back. Puru Uncle. Give me the DVDs. I want to watch Tom & Jerry.”

“You bought DVDs also? There are already so many…”

“It’s all right Malti.”

Abhi started watching cartoon. Malti told him to call her if he needed something and went to her room with Puru.

“You are okay?” Puru asked.

“Yeah.”

“How did the lunch go?”

“Puru. If I asked you to trust my judgement on something, go by my decision on it, would you do that?”

“What has happened?”

“Answer me first.”

“I don’t need to answer that Malti. Even if I don’t agree to it, if you asked me to do something, I will do it.”

“And I won’t ask you to do something, if I didn’t think it was right.”

“What’s up with Preethi? It’s about her, isn’t it?”

“Yes. She has made some mistakes Puru.”

“What has she done? Is she already married or something?”

“No. No. That guy gave up on the marriage.”

“Thank God. Then what was going on in the first place.”

Malti sighed and decided to speak it out in one go, “Preethi had gotten pregnant. But she has had an abortion since.”

Puru looked shocked. And then grew bitter, “Wow! And here I was wondering whether my kid sister even knew the meaning of marriage, while insisting on it.”

“Puru. She acted immature, but she is not a child.”

“Of course, not,” he started to move away from her in irritation.

“Puru, please talk to me,” Malti held his hand. He stopped but did not look at her. She moved closer and faced him, “Please.”

“I did it all wrong, didn’t I, Malti? I should have listened to Amma and never let her go to the US. I failed miserably as her guardian.”

“No. She is young enough to need your support in tough times, Puru. But she is old enough to be responsible for her actions. Don’t blame yourself.”

“The world, my life often doesn’t make sense to me.”

Malti felt his pain, frustration and loneliness. He didn’t express it in so many words very often. She left his hand and put her arms around his neck. Then she tiptoed and gave a light, quick peck on his lips. “What about me?” she asked in a whisper.

“You are my only relief,” he embraced her.

“Then let me take care of what doesn’t make sense to you.”

“I need you Malti. I… want you,” he broke the embrace and looked directly into her eyes.

“You have me.”

“Now?”

“Whenever you want.”

“Now!” he finalized, bent down and kissed her passionately. Her response to his kiss was more than encouraging. He took her to the bed and pinned her down under him. He teased and kissed her all over making both of them ecstatic. Suddenly, he realized something. “I don’t have protection,” his voise was hoarse with desire. But he still did not want to regret it later. Malti stretched out her hand and opened the drawer of the side stool. A new packet was lying there. She had been expecthing this! And was prepared. The realization drove him completely crazy. He grabbed the packet, hastily took out and put up the protection and literally pounced on her. She was equally drowned in the desire and enjoyed his passionate and rough love-making. They had felt the sexual tension for quite sometime now and it wasn’t a surprise that they were quickly driven to the climax. But that didn’t mean it hadn’t been pleasant and gratifying. It had been exceedingly so. Malti curled up under the covers and Puru also curled up behind her, putting his arms around her waist. After lying like that for a couple of minutes, he kissed her on the shoulder and said, “I will be back in a minute.” He went to the bathroom. She closed her eyes and did not realize that he was back until he kissed her closed eyelids. She opened her eyes and saw the he was ready for another round of love-making. She didn’t mind! He threw the cover off her and slowly got rid of the clothes that were still on her body because their need earlier had been too urgent to take all of them off. The process was slow this time as they explored each other’s bodies.

“You are addictive and I am addicted now,” Puru whispered in her ear when they were lying on the bed completely spent.

“Do we need to cure the addiction, then?” she teased him.

“There is no cure, your honour. The only humane treatment for this addict is to keep giving him his dosage.”

“That’s a very biased trial.”

“Love is blind. Like justice!” he replied and silenced her protests by his kiss.

“Whatever happened to Abhi?” Malti suddenly wondered and sat up.

“Let’s check on him.”

They got dressed and came out to see that Abhi had fallen asleep on the sofa and the DVD was still running. They smiled at each other. Malti moved forward to pick him up, but Puru stopped her and did that himself. They settled Abhi on his bed for his nap.

“Mommy. Why didn’t you pick me up from school?” Abhi complained as soon as Malti entered home after work.

“Puru Uncle picked you up, right? What’s the problem?” Puru often used to pick Abhi up these days.

“Earlier you used to pick me up all the time.”

“Earlier he was not there, Abhi. But why are you so angry? You like being with him, don’t you?”

“No.”

“Why? Did he not give you chocolates today?” Malti asked smiling. She had been telling Puru to not give into every demand by Abhi. That would spoil him. She thought he might have tried doing that.

“I did not ask him for chocolates.”

“Did he scold you?”

“No!” Abhi replied sharply and went away from her looking frustrated. Malti was confused. What had come upon Abhi? Puru was to come soon as they had decided to go out for dinner. Why was Abhi acting up all of sudden?

Malti decided to talk to him after freshening up, but could not do that as Puru had arrived by then.

“Abhi. Here is your chocolate. That’s what you were angry at me about, right?” Puru said as soon as he came in.

“He has been acting up since then?” Malti asked.

“What happened? Is he still in a bad mood.”

“I don’t know what has come upon him? And why isn’t he coming out? He used to run outside just on hearing your foot-steps.”

“Let me see,” Puru went to Abhi’s room and they came out together. Abhi was holding the chocolate Puru had brought, but was still looking listless.

“Come. Let’s get you ready,” Malti said, “We are going out.”

“Mommy. You sit with me on the back seat,” Abhi demanded when they were leaving for the restraurant.

“Puru Uncle can not drive sitting alone in the front Abhi.”

“I can’t sit alone at the back.”

“Okay. You sit in front. I will take the back seat.”

“Nooo” Abhi cried, “I want to sit with you.” He was usually not a stubborn kid. Malti and Puru were surprised.

“Abhi. These are bad manners,” Malti chided him.

“I have a solution,” Puru said, “Mommy will drive and Abhi will sit with her in the front. All right, Abhi?”

But Abhi seemed hell bent upon making trouble, “Mommy will drive our car, not yours.”

“Abhi,” Malti lost her patience, “What has come upon you? Why are you behaving like this.”

“Malti. Calm down,” Puru said, “Let’s just do what he says. He is in a bad mood today.”

Malti nodded. She brought out her car and they left. Abhi continued with his tantrums even in the restaurant. He wanted Malti’s attention all the time. He won’t eat unless she fed him. He won’t go to the restroom with Puru.

The worst came when they came back home and Abhi insisted on sleeping with her. Malti had no option but to let him sleep in her room.

“Did he use to sleep with you earlier?” Puru asked after Abhi was asleep.

“No. He has been sleeping in his own room snice he was four. I have tried hard that he should not become clingy because of my loneliness. And now…” she looked tired, “I’m sorry Puru. His behaviour towards you was…”

“Hey. Come on. Let’s not go down that path, okay? He is our responsibility, not just yours.”

Malti nodded.

“It was just a bad day,” Puru spoke again, “I’m sure he will be all right by tomorrow.”

“Hope so.”

“You look tired, Malti. Go to sleep. I will leave now.”

But Abhi’s behaviour did not improve in the days to come. He had become hostile to Puru and even otherwise was extremely clingy towards Malti.

It was a saturday and Puru was at Malti’s place, when Abhi started throwing tantrums once again. Finally Puru’s patience was also exhausted.

“Let me talk to him, Malti. Something is going on in his mind.”

“But he doesn’t talk!”

“Let me try. Come with me, Abhi.”

“I don’t want to go with you,” Abhi reblled.

“Don’t make me force you,” it was the first time Puru was sterm with him and the child cowered. He went to his room with him.

“Do you love your Mommy, Abhi?” Puru asked him.

He nodded.

“When you love someone, you do not hurt them. Right? But you have been creating lots of trouble for her recently. Why?”

“She does not love me now.”

“Why do you say so?”

“She will marry you and send me to the boarding.”

Puru got the shock of his life. Where did that come from?

“Who told you that?”

“That is what happened to Paresh. His father married and sent him to boarding.”

“Paresh was in your class?”

“Yes. He did not join after summer vacation. He was sent away.”

“Nobody is sending you to boarding, Abhi. Do you understand that?”

“You will not marry Mommy, then?”

“Me marrying your Mommy does not mean that we will send you to boarding, Abhi. Not everyone’s parents are like Paresh’. We both love you so much. We will never let you go away from us. Never!”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Let’s go and talk to your Mommy. She has been so worried about you. And say sorry, okay?”

Abhi nodded in consent.

They found Malti pacing up and down in the living room, when they came out. She looked at them anxiously.

“Give her a hug,” Puru nudged Abhi. Abhi ran towards her with open arms and Malti picked him up, while embracing him tight.

“I am sorry Mommy. I was being a bad boy.”

“No problem, darling. But why were you so upset with Mommy?”

“Because he thought that you and I will get married and send him away to boarding,” Puru replied.

“What?” Malti was shocked, “Who told you that? I will never, ever send you away. Do you understand?” Malti hugged him again.

“You will suffocate him Malti,” Puru said playfully, “Let go. He understands. Don’t you Abhi?”

Abhi nodded.

“Who told you that we were marrying, Abhi?” Malti asked, once she had calmed down. They hadn’t yet discussed this with him.

“Nitesh. He is Paresh’ cousin.”

“Who was sent to the boarding?” Puru asked.

“Yes.”

“How did he know?”

“When I told him about Puru Uncle and how he came to our house almost daily, he said that means you were marrying.”

Malti and Puru could not suppress a smile. Kids!!

“Okay Abhi. We will marry. But we will never send you away. Do you understand?” Malti said.

“Yes Mommy. And Mommy…”

“Yes darling?”

“If you marry Puru Uncle, will he become my Daddy?”

Malti looked at Puru and blushed. Then she turned to Abhi, “Wouldn’t you like that Abhi? He is already like your Daddy.”

“He picks me up from school.”

“And takes you camping, for outings…”

“Yes.”

“So, are you happy now?”

“Yes Mommy.”

“Kids! They are unbelievable,” Malti said when they were alone and Abhi was busy with his toys.

“Why?”

“Why? How quickly did they figure out our relationship. Even adults won’t be so quick.”

“Well, yeah. They understand more than we expect them to.”

“Puru.”

“Hmm?”

“Me and Abhi are really lucky… To have you…”

“Not more than me,” he replied, put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, “I have both of you.” He bent down to kiss her.

“Abhi is awake,” Malti stepped back and warned him.

“He will be busy for hours with his building blocks. You know his latest fascination,” Puru went ahead and bolted the room’s door.

“Well…”

“And now that he knows I am his Daddy, I must do my duty towards his Mommy,” he had Malti in his arms again.

“You are wicked.”

“You bet,” he said as he led her to the bed.

– The End –

Desires of Imperfection

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in Ashni (KTLK), Fan Fiction, Hinglish

“Dr. Nidhi,” Mallika stopped her just as she was about to leave after her duty.

“Ji Dr. Mallika?”

“Aapki duty…”

“…khatam ho gai hai,” Nidhi said hastily, “Main Dr. Kabir ko handover kar diya hai.” She was scared that Mallika would find some reason to scold her. So, she felt the need to explain at the outset that she was not shirking her duty and was leaving only after it was over.

“I know. Mujhe aapse kuchh baat karni hai… Not about work.”

“Ji kahiye.”

“Yahan nahin. Let’s go someplace quiet.”

Nidhi raised her eyebrows as Mallika turned to go to the terrace, but she followed her anyway.

“Dr. Nidhi. Mujhe ghuma-phira kar baatein karne ki aadat nahin hai. Isliye saaf-saaf kah deti hoon. Aap jo Dr. Ashutosh ke saath karne ki koshish kar rahi hain, wo sahi nahin hai.”

Nidhi was flustered for a moment. What was that about? “Kya matlab? Main… kya karne ki koshish kar rahi hoon aur kya sahi nahin hai?”

“Aapka Ashutosh ke kareeb jaane ki koshish karna…”

“Dr. Mallika,” Nidhi shouted, “Aapko hosh bhi hai ki aap kya bol rahi hain? Pahli baat to main aisa kuchh kar nahin rahi hoon. Doosri baat ki kar bhi rahi hoti to aapko uske baare mein bolne ka koi haq nahin hai…”

“Ashutosh mera dost hai. Barah saalon se jaanti hoon use Nidhi. Agar uske saath kuchh galat hoga to mera haq hai ki main woh hone se rokun.”

“Dr. Ashutosh koi…” Nidhi started to give a stinging reply, but held herself back, “Jawaab dena mujhe aata hai Dr. Mallika. Lekin main itni kadwi baat apne munh se nikaalna nahin chahti. Behtar hoga ki aap mujhe majboor na karein.”

“Dr. Nidhi. Mard bahar se to bahut tough dikhte hain. Lekin unke andar hazaaron insecurities aur weaknesses bhari hoti hain. I am afraid ki unmein se kuchh ko aapne Ashutosh ke andar kured diya hai. Aur jaane-anjaane he has started falling for you. But if you care for him, or at least pretend to care for him, then you should stop this. Aap dono ka koi mel nahin hai.”

Nidhi was amused and said sarcastically “Jab aapne itne assumptions apne man mein bana hi liye hain, aur kuchh bhi bolne se aap nahin hi chookengi, to mujhe ye bhi bata hi dijiye ki kyon mel nahin hai hamara? Aaj kaam aaye na aaye, shayad future mein kabhi ye knowledge mere kaam aa jayegi.”

“Zaroor aayegi Nidhi. Life partner hamare baraabar ka koi hona chahiye, jise agar hum kabhi sahara dete hain, to zaroorat padne par usse sahara le bhi sakein. Tum Ashutosh ke saamne bachchi ho Nidhi. Too immature, too weak. Tum kabhi unke saath kadam se kadam mila kar nahin chal paogi, unki pareshaaniyan, unke issue nahin samajh paogi. To behtar yahi hoga ki apne youth aur apni khoobsoorti ke dum par tum Ashutosh ke kareeb pahunchne ki koshish na karo. Ye disastrous hoga, tum dono ke liye,” Mallika walked out after saying this. But her little speech did affect Nidhi.

Nidhi was walking back from the terrace lost in thoughts, when she heard his voice, “Dr. Nidhi.”

“Y… Yes Sir,” she stammered.

“Kya baat hai? Koi pareshaani hai? Aisa kaise ho gaya ki aap muskura nahin rahi hain, chahak nahin rahi hain?” Ashutosh asked playfully.

Nidhi wondered for a moment. This playful Ashutosh was indeed very different from the the Ashutosh she was introduced to in her initial days at the hospital. This Ashutosh was much more relaxed and lively. She had admitted to herself that her opinion of Ashutosh had undergone a sea chance since her first day at the hospital. But was it her opinion that had changed? Or had he himself changed? Why?

“Dr. Nidhi. Aap theek to hain?” Ashutosh asked with concern, when he saw Nidhi staring at him without saying anything.

“Yes Sir. Main bilkul theek hoon.”

“Preoccupied hain?”

“Main kuchh soch rahi thi. Lekin koi problem ki baat nahin hai.”

“Aapki duty khatm ho gayi hai?”

“Ji.”

“To agar aap free hain to coffee peete hain. Aur saath mein ye bhi pata lagate hain ki kya baat aapko pareshaan kar rahi hai?”

But Nidhi was back in element by then, “Coffee to zaroor peete hain. Lekin aap ye mat sochiyega ki aapko koi aisa secret pata chal jayega jisse mujhe pareshaan kiya ja sakta hai. Mujhe to aap bhi kabhi pareshaan nahin kar paye. Koi aur kya karega?”

Ashutosh laughed, “Aapne to mera plan banne se pahle hi us par paani pher diya.”

Mallika saw them walking into the canteen. Nidhi noticed a fuming Mallika and flinched a bit, but Ashutosh didn’t notice her.

Priyanka came bustling into the common room where Nidhi and Rangnath were sitting.

“He bhagwaan! Ab aap hi mujhe Dr. Ashutosh se bacha sakte hain,” she prayed dramatically.

“Kya hua Priyanka?”

“Late ho gayi yaar. Meri duty Dr. Ashutosh ke saath lagi hai. Aur mujhe ye wedding dresses ki naap deni aaj zaroori thi. Woh to mujhe maar hi daalenge.”

“Itne bure bhi nahin hain Priyanka. Explain kar dena, kuchh nahin kahenge.”

“Ab Dr. Nidhi ne kaha to theek hi kah rahi hongi Dr. Priyanka. Ghabraiye mat,” Rangnath interrupted.

“Dr. Rangnath!” Nidhi glared at him,

“Mera matlab hai ki Dr. Nidhi sahi hi kah rahi hain. Dr. Hardstone kaafee badal gaye hain pichhle kuchh mahinon mein. Hansne-muskurane lage hain, jokes bhi maarte kabhi-kabhi aur daantne ki propensity bhi kam ho gayi hai unki. To aap befikra ho kar jaiye.”

Priyanka had finished putting her bag and other stuff in the locker by then and had gulped down one glass of water, “Main chalti hoon. Unka character analysis karne ka time nahin hai mere paas.”

Nidhi turned to Rangnath after Priyanka had left, “Dr. Rangnath, kya Dr. Ashutosh sach much badal gaye hain? Matlab pahle woh aise nahin the?”

“Bilkul badal gaye hain. Mujhe behtar kaun jaanta hai? Aaj kal kahin gandgi dikhti hai hospital mein, to shanti te use saaf karne ko bolte hain. Pahle to saare staff ki shaamat aa jati thi. Badi khushkismat hain aap…”

“Ji?”

“Mera matlab hai ki aapka batch bada khushkismat hai. Aapko iske pahle interns ki halat dekhni chahiye thi. Real Dr. Hardstone ko to aapne hardly dekha hai. Dekha hai – shuru ke dinon mein. Par phir to…”

“Shuru mein main galtiyan bhi to bahut karti thi, to unhein daantna hi padta…” Nidhi murmured, more to herself than to Rangnath.

Rangnath laughed funnily, “Of course. Yahi wajah hogi. Ab to aap hi nahin, saare interns, aur saare staff members experts ho gaye hain. Dr. Ashutosh ko khush rakhne mein.”

“Aap jo kah rahe hain, woh to kahna nahin chahte. Saaf saaf bataiye ki kya kahna chahte hain?”

“Surajmukhi ke phool ke baare mein jaanti hain aap?”

“Ji haan,” Nidhi said impatiently.

“To ye bhi pata hoga ki woh suraj ki direction mein ghoomta rahta hai.”

“Iska mere sawaal se ya Dr. Ashutosh se kya matlab hai?”

“Aisa hai ki Dr. Ashutosh bhi aaj kal surajmukhi ke phool ho gaye hain. Ab kaun se suraj ki taraf ghoomte hain, ye mujhse mat poochhiye. Chhote munh, badi baat hogi. Lekin haan. Pediatrics department ke saare doctors, staff, nurses wagerah-wagerah ko us suraj ke saamne roz surya-namaskaar zaroor karna chahiye. Unki wajah se unke hardstone boss aaj kal kaafi tolerable ho gaye hain.”

“Dr. Ranghnath. Aap doctor kaise ban gaye? Writer hona chahiye tha. Aur aap ekdum classics ke writer bante. Jo kissi ko samajh mein nahin aata, lekin jiski sab taareef karte.”

“Uda lijiye mazaak. Ab kismat ka rona rone ki meri aadat nahin hai. To kya bataun ki doctor kaise bana. Chaliye khair. Dr. Hardstone, softstone bhale hi ho gaye ho, pighalne waali ice-cream abhi bhi nahin hue hain. To mujhe kaam par wapas jaana chahiye. Bye. Phir milenge… chalte-chalte.”

“Bye Dr. Rangnath,” Nidhi said smilingly. It was difficult not to be amused by Rangnath’s antics. She looked at her watch. Her break was over and she also walked towards the ward.

“Doctor Sahib. Mera bachcha theek to ho jayega na?” Nidhi was interrupted during her ward visit by a woman.

“Ji aap kiske saath hain?” she asked patiently.

She pointed towards the bed besides which Nidhi was standing. Nidhi was surprised, “Aap iski Maa hain?”

The woman nodded.

“Lekin ye to orphanage, mera matlab hai anaath ashram mein tha.”

The woman started crying, “Kya karti main? Iske pita ko guzre chaar saal ho gaye hain. Main chhote mote kaam kar ke guzara karti hoon. Aur ye din bhar yun hi idhar udhar bhatakta rahta tha. Kissi ne kaha ki anath ashram mein daal do. Achchhe se pal jayega aur wahan iski padhai likhkai bhi ho jayegi. Iske kal ka soch kar maine ise khud se alag kar diya.”

Nidhi was pained to hear her story. She noticed Ashutosh overhearing their conversation. His face was tense. He didn’t come to them and walked out of the ward. Nidhi returned her attention to the woman, “Aap chinta mat kijiye. Ye bilkul theek ho jayega. Beemari kabhi-kabhi zyada dinon se ho to gahri ho jaati hai. To thoda samay lagega. Lekin ye theek ho jayega.”

After doing her rounds she went to Ashutosh’ office, “May I come in, Sir?”

“Please come in Dr. Nidhi. Ah! I was waiting for my tea,” he smiled. Whenever Nidhi came to him for no other reason, she brought tea as an alibi.

She smiled and sat down without waiting for his invitation. Ashutosh didn’t mind that she was carefree around him. He liked it!

“Aapne us orhpanage waale bachche ki Ma ki baat suni?”

Ashutosh stopped smiling, “Haan. suni.”

“Mujhe aisa kyon laga ki aap usse gussa ho gaye?”

“Shayad isliye Dr. Nidhi ki main gussa ho gaya tha.”

“Kyon gussa ho gaye aap? Woh to apni taraf se bachche ke bhale ki hi soch rahi thi.”

“Haan. Lekin phir bhi main gussa ho gaya. Kyonki… shayad main zindagi se hi gussa hoon.”

“Aur aisa kyon hai?”

Ashutosh didn’t reply immediately. He looked at her for a moment and then said with a sad smile, “Aapko kya lagta hai? Log kyon gussa hote hain zindagi se?”

“Mujhe to samajh nahin aata. Ab jinke paas khane ki kami ho, sar ke oopar chhat na ho, woh log zindagi se gussa ho to samah mein aata hai. Woh aurat jise apne bachche ko orphanage mein daalna pada kyonki woh use paal nahin sakti thi, woh zindagi se gussa ho to samajh mein aata hai. Lekin aap kyon gussa hain? Aapke paas kis cheez ki kami hai? Aur agar koi cheez nahin hai aapke paas to use paane mein kya dikkat hai?”

Ashutosh looked hurt and angry at her question, “Rahne dijiye Dr. Nidhi. Aap nahin samjhengi… Aur achchha hi hoga agar aapko samajhne ki zaroorat bhi na pade apni zindagi mein.”

“Lekin main samajhna chahti hoon. Kya aap meri help nahin kar sakte?”

“Nahin,” Ashutosh’ curtness surprised Nidhi, “Kuchh cheezein experience se hi seekhi jaati hain. Aur woh abhi aapke paas nahin hai.”

Nidhi was flustered and didn’t know what to do for a while. Then she muttered, “Main chalti hoon,” and left his office.

Ashutosh looked after her sadly.

‘Dr. Mallika theek kah rahi thi,’ Nidhi thought to herself while sititng in the common room after doing her rounds for the night duty, ‘Main Dr. Ashutosh ke saamne bahut immature hoon. Woh to aisa hi samajhte hain. Main bekaar mein hi unse zyada sawaal poochhne lagi. Woh mujhe kyon kuchh batayenge bhala? Bekaar mein maine apni insult bhi karwai aur unka bhi mood kharaab kiya.’

She had been on the duty on the shift before that too and was very tired. She sat on the chair and closed her eyes as she thought about all this.

“Dr. Nidhi,” Ashutosh’ voice brought her out of her reverie and she jumped out of the chiar.

“Sir, aap? I am sorry… Main so nahin rahi thi…”

“Calm down. Baithiye. Please,” Ashutosh said courtesouly and sat down a chair himself.

“Ji…” Nidhi was still flustered, but she sat down.

“I’m sorry,” both of them said in chorus. Ashutosh laughed at that, while Nidhi just stared at him in surprise.

“Aap kyon sorry bol rahi hain?” Ashutosh asked.

“Jo din mein hua uske liye. Mujhe aise intrude nahin karna chahiye tha… Lekin aap kyon…”

“Jo din mein hua uske liye,” Ashuosh replied, “Mujhe aapse aise rudely baat nahin karni chahiye thi.”

“Nahin,” she replied hastily, “Aapko sorry bolne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Maine aapki baat ka bilkul bhi bura nahin maana. Aap theek hi kah rahe the…”

Ashutosh laughed again, “Yeah. Dr. Hardstone ki daant ki to aadat ho jaani chahiye sabko, right?”

Nidhi’s eyes widened in surprise, “Aapko pata hai?”

“Kya?”

“Ye nick name… Dr. Hardstone…”

Ashutosh laughed out loud this time, “Come on Dr. Nidhi. Aapko sach mein lagta hai ki is hospital mein, at least is department mein kya chalta hai woh mujhe pata nahin hai…”

“Nahin… I mean…” Nidhi’s voice trailed as she couldn’t think of what to say and she looked embarrassed.

“Khair. I thought I owed an answer,” Ashutosh became serious.

“Kaisa answer?” Nidhi asked.

“Us question ka answer jo aapne mujhse din mein poochha tha. Aap sach mein jaanna chahti hain?”

“Haan… Main jaanna to chahti hoon… Lekin agar aapko sahi lage tabhi…”

“Dr. Nidhi. Us aurat ki baaton ne mujhe apni zindagi ka jo sabse pahla lamha yaad hai, usmein wapas pahuncha diya. Aur woh lamha, uski yaadein bahut achchhi nahin hai. Orphanage ke cluttered rooms, zameen par bichhe hue naam-matra ke bistar, khana khane ke liye line mein lagna… Halanki ab peechhe mud kar dekhta hoon to lagta hai ki jo log wahan par the hamare liye, unke intentions to achchhe hi the. Lekin phir bhi dus logon ka staff sau se zyada bachchon ke liye maa-baap ki kami kahan door kar sakta hai? Woh akelapan jo maine tab mahsoos kiya tha, woh jaise mere dil mein ghar kar gaya hai Dr. Nidhi. Aur kabhi nahin nikla…”

“Aap orphanage mein the?” Nidhi was shocked.

“Yes… Aur Baba mujhe wahan se ek din le aaye the. Woh bhi akele the, aur main bhi. Unhone mujhe bahut pyaar diya, mere akelepan ko door sa kar diya. Hum dono ne saath mein ek duniya banai… Aur phir ek din maine Baba ko kho diya. Doctor hoon, iske liye emotionally taiyaar tha… Lekin jaate-jaate Baba ne apni ek sabse important nishani mujhse chheen li. Use kuchh ajnabiyon ke haath de diya. Aisa laga ki woh mujhe ahsaas kara gaye ki main unka apna nahin tha. Bachpan ki jo tanhaiyan itne saalon se unke pyaar mein dab gayi thi, woh phir bahar aa gayi. Janm dene waalon ne to kabhi rishte nibhaye nahin mere saath, phir Baba ne bhi… Rishton par se phir se bharosa uth gaya mera. Aur bas…”

Suddenly he stopped and smiled sadly, “Main aapko bore kar raha hoon shayad.”

“Nahin. Aisa kyon kah rahe hain aap,” Nidhi said earnestly, “I am really sorry Dr. Ashutosh. Mujhe mahsoos ho raha hai ki mera sawaal aapko kitna bura laga hoga. I am really sorry for that. Aur aapke Baba ki nishani… Kya use wapas paane ka koi tareeka nahin hai?”

“Koshish kar raha hoon. Aur ek din use pa kar hi rahunga. Jis din mil jayegi, shayad main apni life se better cope kar sakoonga.”

“Main pray karoongi ki woh aapko zaroor mile. And I am sorry. Jaane-anjaane maine aapko bahut hurt kiya.”

“No. No Nidhi,” Ashutosh addressed her by her first name for the first time, “Uski zaroorat nahin hai. Kyonki jaane-anjaane tumne mujhe khushiyan bhi bahut di hain. Aur bahut kuchh sikhaya bhi hai.”

“Maine?” Nidhi laughed slightly with embarrassment, “Aap shayad mujhe achchha feel karane ki koshish kar rahe hain. Maine aapke liye kya kiya hai? Aur main aapko sikha kya sakti hoon bhala?”

“Wahi jo main bhool gaya tha. Apne aaj mein jeena, khush rahna aur logon par bharosa karna?”

Nidhi stared at him in disbelief.

Ashutosh had to speak again when he noticed her, “Ab aankhein itni badi badi kar ke mat dekhiye. Kahin nikal na aayen?”

“Na… Nahin… Main to… bas…” Nidhi muttered nervously, “Main ward mein jaati hoon. Round lene ka time ho gaya hai.” she rushed out of the common room and Ashutosh smiled after her. Gosh! How adorable and cute she was.

Nidhi had to take a few deep breaths after reaching the ward to calm her nerves down. She took the round, but hesitated before going to the common room. What if he was still there?

‘Pagal ho gayi hai kya Nidhi? Tu Dr. Ashutosh se dar kyon rahi hai?’ she chided herself.

But the counter-argument came to her mind too, ‘Jaise unhone baat ki… usse to yahi lagta hai ki Dr. Mallika ki baat sach. To phir…’

‘To phir kya?’

‘To phir… ye sahi nahin hai na. Main unke liye sahi nahin hoon.’

‘Kyon nahin? Agar itne saalon baad unhein tere saath khushi milti hai to galat kya hai. Aur phir tu bhi to…’

‘Main kya sochti hoon isse farq nahin padta. Main unke liye bahut immature hoon. Aab aaj bhi maine kaise insensitively unse sawaal kar diye. No. No. It won’t do…’

‘To tu unhein wapas andheron mein dhakel degi?’

‘Nahin!’

‘Phir?’

‘Phir pata nahin. Main kuchh karoongi…’

What would she do? She kept thinking as she walked back to the common room.

“Anji….” Nidhi went to her place after having breakfast in the morning.

“Dr. Nidhi Verma. Aapko meri yaad kaise aa gayi aaj? Aur bahut galat time par aayi hai. Mujhe kaam par jaana hai.”

“Kya yaar! Kuchh advice chahiye thi tujhse.”

“Haan. Bol. Main to waise bhi hamesha se teri agony aunt rahi hoon.”

“Pata hai. And very effective too. Lekin is baar meri nahin, kissi aur ki problem tere paas le kar aayi hoon,” Nidhi lied successfully.

“Pagal hai kya? Kissi aur ki problem kyon apne sar le li…”

“Are yaar. Maine kaafi boast kar diya na uske saamne ki meri best friend in sab maamlon mein kitni sahi hai. Ab to tujhe hamari dosti ki khatir, meri help karni hi padegi. Please Anji…”

“Theek hai. Theek hai… Bol fatafat.”

“Yaar. Mere saath ek intern hai. Sonali. Uska ek achchha dost hai. Aur ye dost usse pyaar karta hai. Unki koi baat nahin hui hai kabhi, lekin ye obvious hai. Sonali uski bahut care karti hai, shayad pyaar bhi karti hai, lekin uski kuchh constraints hai, family ko lekar. So, woh kabhi uske saath relationship mein nahin ja sakti. To use apne friend ke liye kya karna chahiye, taki Sonali ke chale jaane se, use taqleef na pahunche…”

“Ye kaisa sawaal hai yaar Nidhi? Iska koi solution hota to duniya mei itni sob love stories kyon hoti? Uska dil to tootna hi hai. Ya phir Sonali ko apni jo bhi family constraints hain, unse ladna padega.”

“Woh possible nahin hai Anji. Kuchh to soch…”

“Pata nahin Nidhi. May be she can try to hook him up with some other girl…”

“Kya?”

“Ab mujhe aur nahin pata. Mujhe jaana hai. Bye…”

The idea had sounded outrageous at first and Anji herself had not appeared convinced about it. But when Nidhi thought about it in the context of her problem, it felt like the perfect thing to do.

She had a new mission in her life now. To get Ashutosh to fall in love. With someone other than herself. With someone his equal. But how?

“Dr. Rangnath. You should be the best person to asnwer this?”

“Kya?”

“Meri ek friend news reporter hai aur apni ek story ke liye woh survey kar rahi hai.”

“Okay?”

“To uske liye use logon ki opinion chahiye ki jo love marriages hoti hain, to woh log typically apne life partners se pahli baar kaise mile hote hain? Kahan par?”

“Umm… college?”

“Uske baad?”

“Workplace?”

“Aur?”

“Pubs. Discos….”

“Un sabse kahan kaam banega,” Nidhi murmured.

“Ji?”

“Kuchh nahin. Aur bataiye. Suppose jo log parties wagerah attend nahin karte, pubs, discos nahin jaate… Unki bhi to love life ho sakti hai na?”

Rangnath eyed her curiously, “Ye aapki reporter friend ka question hai?”

“Haan. Aur kya? Bechari ki deadline hai na. To main help kar rahi hoon. Kuchh aisi jagahon ke naam ho jo kissi ne pahle na soche hon, to uska article ekdum chamak jayega. Hai na?”

“I think log functions aur professional get-togethers par bhi milte hain. Jaise ki conventions, seminars, society get-togethers. Aur haan… Main ye kaise bhool gaya? Shaadiyon mein.”

“Shaadiyon mein?”

“Haan. India mein jo log kahin aur nahin jaate, parties, pubs etc. woh bhi shaadiyon mein to jaate hi hain. Woh to ekdum gold mine hai. Sab ladkiyan kitna saj-dhaj ke aati hain… Aisa lagta hai…”

“All right Dr. Rangnath. I don’t think ki shaadiyon aur ladkiyon ko aapke nazaron se dekhna mere liya khaas achchha hai. Main chalti hoon. Bye.”

“Dr. Ashutosh. Aap Priyanka ki wedding mein kya pahanne waale hain?” Nidhi asked during one of her tea-trips to Ashutosh’ office.

“Kya?” Ashutosh was completely taken aback by her question and then it looked like he was struggling to suppress a chuckle, “Aap mujhse thoda galat sawaal poochh rahi hain. Ya aap sawaal galat insaan se poochh rahi hain. Shaadi mein kya pahanna hai, nahin pahanna hai, ye sawaal ya to auraton ke liye important hota hai, ya youngsters ke liye. I am a little old for this. And most likely, main shaadi mein ja hi nahin raha hoon.”

“Are! Kyon nahin ja rahe hain?”

“Well… agar saare log shaadi mein chale gaye to yahan par kaam kaun sambhaalega?”

“Main maanti hoon Dr. Ashutosh ki aap bahut achchhe, competent aur experienced doctor hain. Lekin aapko nahin lagta ki it is a bit presumptuous on your part to think ki aap poora department bina kissi aur doctor ya staff ki madad ke bina hi chala lenge.”

Ashutosh laughed, “Maine ye to nahin kaha…”

“Exactly. Sab log ek saath hospital chhod kar nahin jayenge. Dr. Rangnath ne iska intezaam kar liya hai. Ek group shaadi ke liye, aur ek group agle din reception ke liye ja raha hai.”

“Okay…”

“Okay? Okay kya? Iska matlab ye hai ki aap ja bhi sakte hain, aur jayenge bhi.”

“Main aise celebrations, parties enjoy nahin karta Dr. Nidhi.”

“Enjoy nahin karte the. Lekin aapne khud hi accept kiya tha na ki ab aap apne aaj mein khush rahna seekh gaye hain? To ab aap enjoy karenge.”

“Dr. Nidhi…”

“Nahin. Main nahin sunne waali,” Nidhi was aware of her powers over him and was willing to exploit it fully, “Aap zaroor aayenge. Ab bas ye bataiye ki aap pahanne kya waale hain?”

“Ab agar mujhe aana hi hoga to pahan loonga kuchh bhi. Ismein itna fret karne waali kya baat hai?”

“Phir to aap apna ye hardstone trademark suit pahan lenge?”

“Ismein koi burai hai?”

“Nahin. Burai nahin hai. Lekin mujhe lagta hai ki in kapdon mein aate hi aap bilkul hospital waale mood mein aa jaate hain. Ab shaadi mein aisa kiya to kaam kaise banega….”

“Kya kaam banwana hai aapko mujhse?”

“Kuchh nahin. Kaam kya banwana hoga… Bas aapko shopping karwani padegi. Ab Chowk aur Ameenabaad mein ghoom-ghoom kar shopping karne ka to time aapke paas hoga nahin. Main aapko aaj shaam aath baje Sahara Mall mein milungi.”

“Kya?” Ashutosh was aghast. What was she doing? “Dr. Nidhi… Look… Main…”

“Agar aap nahin aaye to main apni pasand se size ka andaaza laga kar kuchh khareed doongi. Phir fit na aaye ya achchha na lage to mujhe mat kuchh kahiyega. Main chalti hoon. Bye.”

She dashed out of his office without giving him any chance to protest. For several seconds after she left, Ashutosh had a lost look on his face. As if he didn’t know what to do about what just happened. Then he shook his head, sighed and tried to go back to his work.

Nidhi was anxiously pacing up and down in front of the shop in the mall. It was 8.15 already and Ashutosh hadn’t come. ‘8.30 closing time hai. 8.45 se zyada to nahin khula rakhenge ye log,’ she murmured angrily, ‘Saari mehnat bekaar hone waali hai Nidhi.’

She almost jumped when her mobile rang, “Yes Sir… 4th floor par… aap please lift le lijiye parking lot se. Escalators se aane mein zyada time lagega…. Ji…”

“So, Dr. Nidhi. Kya karna hai?” Ashutosh asked when he spotted her.

“Pahle to shop ko band hone se rokna hai. Jaldi chaliye,” she dashed inside and Ashutosh had to follow her hurriedly. She located a sales man and asked him, “Bhaiya. Maine abhi select kar ke aapke paas rakhwaye the na…”

“Ji Madam. Aaiye…”

He took them to the men’s ethnic section of the shop and pointed to a pile on a counter.

“Haan. Yahi hai,” Nidhi said excitedly and started showing stuff to Ashutosh.

“Sherwani?” he asked looking incredulous.

“Haan. Kyon? Koi problem hai?”

“These are too showy, too bright Dr. Nidhi. Main ye sab nahin pahanta hoon. Chaliye yahan se…”

“Nahin pahante the. Aur inmein sab bright aur showy nahin hain. Ye dekhiye…” she picked up a sherwani in light cream color with a thin strip of zari work around the neck and thread work on the rest of the outfit.

Ashutosh could not retort, but he made a face as if he was annoyed. Nidhi was not to be fazed by that though, “Try kijiye.”

Ashutosh went to the changing room. But when he came out he was back into his old clothes. Nidhi was disappointed to not see him in the sherwani. Since he did not show it to her while wearing, she expected him to reject it. But part of her disappointment went away when she heard him say, “Size theek hai.”

“Great. Chaliye phir isse pahle ki ye log billing counter band kar dein, billing karwa lete hain.”

“Aapne zidd ki, to maine ye khareed liya hai Dr. Nidhi,” Ashutosh said after they came out of the shop, “Lekin iska matlab ye nahin hai ki main shaadi mein aane waal hoon ya ye pahanne waala hoon.”

“Dekhenge. Abhi to problem ye hai ki mere paas meri car nahin hai aur aapko mujhe drop karna hoga. Raaste mein aapki sherwani ke saath jaane ke liye mojdi bhi khareedni hai. Ek shop hai….”

“Drop to main aapko kar doonga. Lekin aap apni car le kar kyon nahin aayi, jab aap raat mein bahar nikli thi? Agar main nahin aata to?” Ashutosh questioned her.

“To is bechari, abla naari ko Lucknow ke auto waale bahut lootate. Dogune, chaugune paise maangte.” Nidhi said dramatically and it made Ashutosh laugh.

“Mazaak apni jagah hai. Lekin Lucknow itna safe shahar nahin hai. Raat mein akele aapko bina apne vehicle ke nahin nikalna chahiye.”

“Samajh gayi. Ab chalein? Warna woh jooton waali shop bhi band ho jayegi.”

Ashutosh sighed. She was single mindedly focussed on his wedding party attire for the evening. Nothing else was going to affect her. “Chaliye,” he said and they walked towards his car.

But Nidhi’s antics for the day were not done.

“Beauty or brains?” she said suddenly while they were driving.

“Brains,” Ashutosh replied reflexively and then realized that he had no clue about where that came from, “Ab ye kya ho raha hai?”

“Kuchh nahin. Boriyat mitane ke liye chhota sa game.”

“To aap mere saath bore ho rahi hain?”

“Meri chhodiye. Aap bataiye ki aapko kaise logon ki company pasand hai?”

“Kyon?”

“Ab aapko koi security threat mahsoos hota hai kya apne baare mein kuchh bhi batane mein? Bas aise hi poochh rahi hoon, baatein karne ke liye…”

“Okay Baba. Mujhe kaise logon ki company pasand hai? Kabhi socha nahin, lekin I think I like intelligent people. Woh aapne suna hai – Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. To main woh people-discussion waalo logon se door rahna pasand karta hoon. Oopar ke dono theek hain.”

Nidhi giggled at this and Ashutosh also smiled.

“Aap vegetarian hain ya non-vegetarian?”

“I don’t mind non-veg. India ke bahar rahne ke baad avoid karna mushkil hai. Lekin main zyada khata nahin hoon.”

“Aur aapka favourite holiday destination?”

“Mujhe aisa lag raha hi ki main kissi matrimonial consultancy ke office mein baitha hoon?”

Nidhi laughed nervously, “Aap bhi na… Achchha mazaak kar lete hain.”

But she decided to step back after this. She did not want him to suspect what she was trying to do.

“Woh shop… wahan runka hai,” she cried as she spotted the shoe shop for buying mojdis.

Ashutosh reluctantly stopped, bought the mojdi she selected and then drove to her home.

“Good night Dr. Ashutosh. Kal shaadi par milte hain.”

“Aap hospital nahin aa rahi hain?”

“Meri kal duty nahin hai.”

Ashutosh nodded and drove away as Nidhi looked on. She felt happy and sad at the same time.

“Oh my God! I am going to faint,” Sonali pretended to sway as if she was feeling dizzy.

“Oye. Drama Queen. Kya hua?” Nidhi asked.

“Dr. Ashutosh ko dekh Nidhi. Pahli baat to woh shaadi mein aaye. Aur us par se ye sherwaani. God! Koi itna handsome kaise lag sakta hai yaar. Inhein doctor kisne bana diya. Model ya actor hona chahiye tha.”

Nidhi looked in the direction Sonali pointed too and realized that she agreed to Sonali’s sentiments. She did not say anything though and controlled her urge to go to him at once. Now that he was at the wedding, Nidhi was at a loss. What to do? Sure he will turn all female heads towards him, but what after that?

“Kya taaka-jhaanki chal rahi hai kudiyon?” It was Priyanka’s happy-go-lucky bua ji.

“Aap bhi aa jaiye Bua ji. Hamare boss ko dekhiye aur nayan-sukh ka laabh uthaiye,” said one of the other colleagues of Nidhi and Priyanka.

“Kaun se boss? Dr. Ashutosh? Hum bhi dekhin kaun hain woh. Priyanka to badi pareshaan rahti hain unse… Are woh cream sherwani mein kaun hai?”

“Wahi to hain Dr. Ashutosh?”

“Kya baat kar rahi ho?”

“Bilkul sahi baat kar rahi hoon.”

“Yaar. Itna sona dikhne waala insaan itna khadoos kaise ho sakta hai?”

Nidhi was hearing the conversation of the women and feeling proud about it. She couldn’t explain why though. If people were gushing about Dr. Ashutosh why did she need to feel proud?

Anyway! She shruged and tried to get back to the task she had set for herself. But how? She turned her attention to the conversation again.

“Aur tum log kah rahe ho ki is insaan ki shaadi nahin hui?” Bua’s curiosity was insatiable.

“Nahin hui Bua ji.”

“To karwa dete hain.”

“Kaise Bua Ji?” Nidhi was suddenly interested.

“Dr. Ashutosh ki shaadi mein tujhe itna interest kyon hai?” Sonali teased Nidhi.

“Main bata rahi hoon, Dr. Ashutosh ki shaadi ho jaye, unke subordinates ke liye isse zyada achchhi khabar kuchh ho hi nahin sakti. Shayad thode soft ho jayen aur haan – hospital mein thoda time bhi kam bitayenge,” Nidhi was ready with an alibi.

“Idea to dhansu hai. Waise Dr. Rangnath kah rahe the ki in dinon woh already thode softened ho gaye hain. Lekin thode aur ho jayen to bura nahin hoga.”

“Exactly. Bataiye Bua ji. Dr. Ashutosh ki shaadi kaise karwai jaye? Dhyaan rakhiyega, unhein impress karna thoda mushkil hai.”

“Achchha. Kaisi ladki sahi rahegi unke liye?”

“Unke liye… Umm… Intelligent aur smart honi chahiye. Khoobsoorat ho to kissi ko koi objection to nahin hi hoga. Aur haan – mature honi chahiye. Mere jaisi ladkiyan nahin chalengi, uchhal-kood machane waali. Wagerah… wagerah… Ab mere paas isse zyada unki koi matrimonial profile nahin hai.”

“Are to hain na.”

“Kaun?”

“Meri nanad hai. Suhani. Chartered Accountant hai. Ekdum corporate woman. Tip-top. Priyanka se badi banti thi uski bachpan se hi, halanki badi hai usse kaafee. Dono hi padhne-likhne waali ladkiyan thi na. Abhi aayegi thodee der mein. Kah rahi thi ki kuchh zaroori deadline aa gayi hai office mein, isliye der ho jayegi.”

‘Chartered Accountant? Phir to intelligence ki koi kami nahin hogi,’ Nidhi thought to herself, ‘Baaki to dono milenge, tab hi pata chalega.’

“To Bua ji,” Nidhi addressed her, “Chaliye. Main aapko Dr. Ashutosh se milwati hoon.”

Ashutosh was talking to a group of people from the hospital, when Nidhi approached him.

“Good evening Dr. Ashutosh.”

“Dr. Nidhi. Good evening,” Ashutosh beamed on seeing her, “Main soch hi raha tha…”

“Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi interrupted him, as she didn’t want him to reveal anything about their little shopping trip for the sherwani he was wearing, “Mujhe aapko inse milwana tha. Ye Priyanki ki Bua hai…. Oops! Bua ji. Mujhe aapka naam to maaloon hi nahin hai.”

“Are koi problem nahin hai. Mujhe apna naam maaloon hai. Main Namrata. Namrata Singhania.”

“Namaste Mrs. Singhania. Main…”

“Dr. Ashutosh Mathur. Sabhi jaante hain.”

Ashutosh laughed slightly, “Nahin. Main koi celebrity nahin hoon.”

“Aap baithiye na,” Namrata pointed towards the chairs lying by and sat on one of them herself. Ashutosh and Nidhi followed the suit.

“Aap enjoy to kar rahe hain na?” she asked after they had sat down.

“Ji, main to aane waala nahin tha, lekin…”

“Lekin,” Nidhi interrupted hurriedly, “aa kar realize hua ki nahin aate to kitna fun miss ho jaata. Hai na Dr. Ashutosh?”

Ashutosh looked at her and then agreed to her, even though feeling confused. What was Nidhi up to?

“Aap log baatein kijiye. Main aapke liye cold-drinks le kar aati hoon,” Nidhi said, got up and left, despite Ashutosh’ insistence that he did not want cold-drinks.

“To Dr. Ashutosh. Aap Kotnis General Hospital mein kitne dinon se kaam kar rahe hain?”

“Dinon se nahin Mrs. Singhania, saalon se. Aath saalon se.”

“He he. Of course. To aapne kabhi Lucknow se bahar jaane ki nahin sochi?”

“Nahin. Main yahin comfortable hoon.”

“Family hogi aapki yahan.”

Ashutosh’ face darkened, “Ji nahin. Meri koi family nahin hai. Na yahan, na kahin aur.”

“Oh! Aisa kyon…. Are… Suhani aa gayi. Rukiye main aapse milwati hoon…”

Ashutosh looked at her puzzled, as she shouted and waved her hands to draw Suhani’s attention to herself. Another introduction? What was going on? Ashutosh wonderd while Suhani approached them.

“Hi Bhabhi,” Suhani said pleasantly, “Aaj to mujhe Bhai ko bolna padega ki apne aankh-kaan khule rakhein. Kahin aap haath se na nikal jayen.” She started with the usual sis-in-law banter.

“Meri umar chali gayi haath se nikalne ki Suhani. Achchha inse mil. Dr. Ashutosh Mathur. Priyanka ke boss hain.”

“Hello Dr. Ashutosh,” Suhani extended her hands, “Nice to meet you.”

“Hello. Nice to meet you too.”

Nidhi bustled in with the cold-drinks by then, “Bua ji… Ye aapki nanad hain?”

“Haan. Suhani. Ye Dr. Nidhi Verma hain. Priyanka ke colleague.”

Suhani and Nidhi exchanged pleasantaries and Nidhi felt satisfied on looking at the tall smart woman, she had just been introduced as Suhani.

“Are… Main to bhool hi gayi. Bua Ji,” Nidhi exclaimed after her introduction with Suhani, “Aapko auntie bula rahi hain. Kuchh kaam hai. Suhani ji. Aap aur Dr. Ashutosh baatein kijiye. Ye lijiye cold-drinks. Hum abhi wapas aate hain.” She handed one glass cold-drink each to Ashutosh and Suhani and dragged Namrata away from there.

Ashutosh was completely puzzled at what was happening, while Suhani started laughing.

“Aap hans kyon rahi hain?” he had to ask.

“Let me guess. Aapki shaadi nahin hui hai,” Suhani said, still laughing.

“Well. Aapka guess sahi hai. Lekin mujhe nahin lagta ki usmein kuchh bhi laughable hai,” Ashutosh said patiently.

“Nahin nahin… Of course, usmein koi problem nahin hai. Problem ye hain – meri ye Bhabhi. Aapki shaadi nahin hui hai, isliye woh aap par attack kar baithi.”

“Aapki Bhabhi?” Ashutosh wondered if Suhani was so casually hinting at something scandulous about her sister-in-law.

“Are. Apne liye nahin bhai. Mere liye. Inhein samajh mein nahin aata ki logon ko shaadi nahin bhi karni ho sakti hai. Inka wash chale to baalig hote hi sabki shaadi karwa dein. I think inhone aapki achchhi khaasi grilling ki hogi. Main uske liye maafi maangti hoon.”

Ashutosh smiled finally, “Achchha. To ye baat hai. Well – main samajh sakta hoon aapki situation. Thankfully mere aas paas family waale nahin hai mujhe grill karne ke liye. Lekin phir bhi…”

“I know. Chaliye. To isi baat par, cheers to not marrying…” Their cold-drink glasses touched each other and they took a sip.

“Waise. Aapki Bhabhi apna target fix kaise karti hain? Unhein kaise pata chala ki main…”

“Network aur social skills. Aapke to itne colleagues yahan hain. Unmein se hi kissi se pata lagwaya hoga. Aapko introduce kisne karwaya.”

“Woh to Dr. Nidhi… Dr. Nidhi?” His tone suddenly changed from casual to that of surprise, “Nahin. I don’t think Dr. Nidhi…”

“Aap meri Bhabhi ke influence ko underestimate mat kijiye.”

Ashutosh smiled unsurely and then they switched to different topics of their professional lives, Lucknow roads and politics etc.

Nidhi observed them from a distance and saw Ashutosh engaged in a chat with Suhani happily. She felt strange and walked away.

Suahni took leave from Ashutosh after a while to meet Priyanka and Ashutosh set out to find Nidhi.

It took him a while to find her. He saw her walking out of the wedding venue and decided to follow her. She walked towards the road and suddenly exclaimed, “Oh God! Car kahan gayi?”

“Kya hua Dr. Nidhi,” he approached her hastily.

“Sir aap? Pata nahin… maine car yahin khadi ki thi…”

“Woh traffic waale tow kar ke le gaye hain,” a shopkeeper shouted from across the narrow road.

“Ye no parking zone hai? Kahin to sign nahin bana hai?”

“No parking zone sign se nahin, police waalon ki marzi se bante hain Madam,” the shopkeeper replied.

“Ab kya karoon?” Nidhi looked at her watch, “Itni der ho gayi hai. Abhi kahan se…”

“Main aapko drop kar deta hoon,” Ashutosh said, “Aap subah police station ja kar car le aaiyega.”

“Lekin mujhe abhi hi jaana hai. Main taxi le leti hoon.”

“Haan to main aapko abhi hi le jaunga.”

“Nahin. Aap kyon party chhod kar chalenge.”

“Mujhe party mein aane par aapne majboor kiya tha Dr. Nidhi. Agar aap chhod kar ja sakti hain, to main to ja hi sakta hoon.”

“Lekin…” Nidhi started to say, but stopped and sighed. She could really not think of an argument.

“Chaliye,” he directed her towards his car.

“To mujhe zabardasti yahan bula kar, mujhe andar chhod kar, aap itni jaldi party chhod kar kyon bhaag rahi thi?”

“Aise hi. Main subah se thi na Priyanka ke saath. Thak gayi thi. Aur mujhe laga ki aap party enjoy kar rahe honge. Isliye aapko kuchh nahin kaha.”

“Aisa kyon laga aapko?”

“Kya?”

“Ki main party enjoy kar raha hoon.”

“Galat laga kya?”

Ashutosh turned his head towards the passenger’s seat, looked at her intently and sighed. She could feel his gaze on her, but did not look back at him.

“Achchha lagta hai na shaadiyon mein,” Nidhi spoke after a while, “Naye naye logon se milne ka mauka milta hai.”

“Kin-kin naye logon se mili aap?”

“Suahni ji, for example. Bahut intelligent aur smart hain. Aur ekdum down to earth bhi. No airs about her. Nahin?”

“I think so…”

“Mera wash chale to main to unse dosti karna chahungi.”

“Aapka kissi se dosti karne ka man ho, to aap kar hi lengi. Aapki dosti kaun thukrayega?”

“Aur aap?”

“Main kya? Aapki dosti to maine bhi nahin thukrai.”

“Meri nahin. Suhani ji ki.”

“Look Nidhi,” Ashutosh decided to come to the point, “Mujhe nahin pata ki tum kya karne ki koshish kar rahi ho. Lekin abhi naye dost banane ko lekar mere andar itna enthusiasm to hai nahin ki I go out of my way to do it.”

“Main kuchh karne ki koshish nahin kar rahi hoon,” Nidhi mumbled like a scared kid. It made Ashutosh smile.

“Of course not. Kahir chhodiye. Doosron ke baatein kar ke bore nahin hote hain. Aap bataiye ki aap party se kyon chali aayi? Aapko to bahut achchha lagta hai ye sab.”

“Bola to – thak gayi thi.”

“Thaki hui lag to nahin rahi hain.”

“Ab iska kya jawaab hai.”

“Kahin thakaan mental to nahin thi?” Ashutosh asked meaningfully.

“Pata nahin,” Nidhi replied and then they both fell silent. They only spoke to wish each other good night, when the car pulled up in front of her home.

“Dr. Nidhi,” Ranganth called her.

“Yes, Dr. Rangnath?”

“Woh Dr. Amraan ke saath hamein WHO ke project ke liye kuchh logon ko aas paas ke gaon mein bhejna hai na, to usmein aapko bhi jaana hai.”

“Theek hai. Kal subah jaana hai na?”

“Haan. Ye raha program. Teen-teen logon ke group mein jaana hai, alag-alag areas cover karne ke liye.”

“Achchha. Theek hai. Main time par aa jaungi.”

Nidhi took the paper from him and looked at her group. The other two names in the group made her smile. Dr. Ashutosh Mathur and Dr. Varsha Rao. Dr. Varsha Rao was in the gynacology department and often consulted Pediatrics on the issues with newborn babies. She shared a good rapport with Dr. Ashutosh and…

Yes! All she had to do was to make sure that she stayed away from them and let them spend more and more time together. Who knows! She might be the one. She jumped with joy at her little plan.

“Sir. Main bachchon ka checkup kar loon. Aap aur Dr. Varsha adults ka kar sakte hain.”

“Okay Dr. Nidhi,” Ashutosh smiled, “Dr. Varsha. Inko jahan bachche dikhte hain, ye pagal ho jati hain. Bachchon se inhein door rakhna namumkin hai. Aaiye – bade bachchon se hum hi nibatte hain.”

Varsha also smiled, “Sure Dr. Ashutosh. Chaliye.”

Varsha went to check the women, while Ashutosh was soon done with the men.

“Aankhein band, aankhein band…. aur ye machchar ki chutki…. Sui, sui kahan hai? Aankhein kholo…. Ho gaya na… Kuchh pata bhi chala…. Phir? Bekaar mein dar rahe the. Chalo – ab iske baad kaun aayega? Aa jao, aa jao. Machchhar ki chutki se bhi bhala koi darta hai kya… Yes. Aap aa jao… Naam kya hai aapka? Savita… Bahut pyara naam hai…”

She was taken aback when she found Ashutosh watching her fondly, “Sir Aap? Maine dekha hi nahin. Kab se khade hain aap yahan?”

“Thodi der ho gayi. Aap bilkul mashgool thi.” He did not tell her that he had silently indicated the kids who saw him to not let Nidhi know.

“Sorry…”

“Are nahin. Sorry ki kya baat hai. Sabka check up ho gaya?”

“Bas chaar-paanch bachche bache hain.”

“Chaliye. Main bhi aapki madad kar deta hoon. Jaldi nibat jayenge.”

“Aur Dr. Varsha?”

“Unka bhi check up ka kaam khatam ho gaya hai. Lekin woh auraton ke saath baithi hain thodee der, unki aur health related problems dekh rahi hain aur thoda educate kar rahi hain.”

“That’s so nice.”

“Yep.”

Nidhi was in a fix. She had wanted to keep Varsha and Ashutosh together. But he was there with her now. Even if she got away from him with the alibi of helping Varsha, it wouldn’t help her ultimate goal.

Varsha was going to drive on their way back. Ashutosh was taking the back seat, expecting Nidhi to sit in the front. But she stopped him.

“Sir. If you don’t mind, aap aage baith jayenge.”

“Kyon? Kya hua?”

“Mujhe shayad neend aa jayegi, main thak gayi hoon. To aage baith kar sona theek nahin rahega… Isliye…”

“Okay,” Ashutosh said, but eyed her suspiciously. She averted her eyes and got into the car.

Nidhi didn’t sleep at all in the car, but she kept her eyes closed whenever she thought Ashutosh or Varsha might be looking at her.

“Dr. Nidhi? Should drop you home directly?” Varsha asked her when they were about to enter back in the city.

“Yes Ma’m.”

“Aapki car nahin hai hospital mein?” Ashutosh asked.

“No Sir. Subah driver ke saath aayi thi. Woh wapas le gaya. Baba ko kaam tha.”

“Okay. To mujhe hospital mein aapse thoda kaam hai. If you don’t mind hum hospital hi chalte hain aur phir main aapko drop kar doonga.”

“Okay Sir,” she said weakly, thought quite surprised at his request. What did he have to discuss with her?

She walked silently with him to his office. It was past normal working hours and only the night duty staff was there in the hospital. The usual hustle-bustle was missing. Nidhi wondered why she was so keenly aware of the emptiness of the hospital. She has done night duties so many times. When she entered his room, she realized what was different. She was alone with him the office and there weren’t many people around. It made it more private than usual. And she was scared that she will be forced to face and own certain things, her feelings, which she wasn’t ready to do, which she didn’t think she should do.

“Yes Sir?”

“What’s going on Dr. Nidhi?”

“Ji?”

“Kuchh to khuraafaat aapke man mein chal rahi hai…”

“Nahin. Nahin Sir. Aisa kyon laga aapko?”

“Kyonki aaj aap bilkul bhi so nahin rahi thi. Lekin sone ka bahana zaroor kar rahi thi.”

“Main so rahi thi…”

“Nahin. Aap sirf apni aankhein band kar rahi thi jab aapko lag raha tha ki main aapko dekh raha hoon. Ab ye bataiye ki aap aisa kyon kar rahi thi?”

Nidhi gulped and did not say anything.

“Aur meri baat hui thi Ms. Suhani Sighania se bhi, baad mein…”

Nidhi did not say anything, just looked at him curiously.

“Unhone mujhe bataya ki unki Bhabhi se aapki kya baatein hui thi.”

Nidhi stood rooted to her place and did not say anything again.

“Dr. Nidhi. Aapko ye bachkaani koshishein band karni hongi. Aap samajh rahi hain meri baat? This is not how things work.”

Tears clouded her eyes and she could not say anything. She nodded and rushed out of his office. Ashutosh realized that she had started crying. He ran after her, but was interrupted by a nurse who was giving him some message from the administration. By the time he came out, he could not see Nidhi anywhere. He enquired at the reception and they said that she called for a taxi and went home.

He felt very bad. He could have handled it better, instead of hurting her like that. He thought of calling her up and picked up his mobile several times during the evening to do that. But hesitation crept in and he did not call her.

Nidhi spent the night in a bad mood. When asked by Baba and Dadi Bua, she told them that she was tired after the day’s expedition and kept to her room most of the time. She did not come out for dinner and asked it to be sent to her room.

‘Tujhe unse door hi rahna hoga Nidhi,’ she told herself, ‘Tu kuchh bhi kare, unke liye sahi nahin hota. Is baar bhi unhein sab kuchh bachkaana lag raha tha. Bachkaana hi hai shayad. Tujhe aisa kyon laga ki tu unki life badal sakti hai. Tu pagal hai Nidhi. Aur bilkul immature. Leave him alone.’

Though saddened by the conclusion, she found some peace after arrivng at it and drifted off to sleep.

Ashutosh checked the duty chart the next day and went to Rangnath’s office.

“Dr. Rangnath. Dr. Nidhi Verma ki aaj duty nahin hai kissi bhi shift mein?”

“No Sir. Jo doctors kal field mein gaye the, unka aaj off day hai. Aapko bhi chhutti le leni chahiye thi…”

“No. I am fine. Thanks.”

“Koi khaas kaam tha Sir? To main unhein phone karwata hoon…”

“Nahin. Uski koi zaroorat nahin hai. Main baat kar loonga. Thank you Dr. Rangnath,” Ashutosh walked out of his office. Rangnath smirked behind him and whistled to the tune of the song ‘tujhe na dekhoon to chain mujhe aata nahin hai’.

Nidhi was listlessly flipping through TV channels, when her mobile rang.

“Hello Sir.”

“Dr. Nidhi. Mujhe aapse kuchh baat karni thi… actually milna tha… Agar aap bahut thaki hui nahin hai to…”

“No Sir. Main bilkul thaki hui nahin hoon. Main… Main hospital aa jaun?”

“Nahin. Hospital nahin.”

“Ji?”

“I mean, main bhi hospital mein nahin hoon. Kahin aur mil sakte hain?”

“Ji. Jaisa aap kahein.”

Ashutosh was hoping that she would propose a place, but she didn’t.

“Main aapko aapke ghar se pick kar loon?”

Nidhi was quite surprised and confused, but she agreed, “Theek hai, Sir. Kab?”

“Bees minute mein.”

“Okay Sir.”

Nidhi nervously got inside his car, as he pulled up in front of her home. Then they drove away immediately. They sat in silence for a while.

“Kal aap bura maan kar chali aayi,” he said as he stopped the car on the side of a deserted road, “Hamari baat poori nahin ho payi.”

Nidhi looked down and did not say anything.

“Main ye jaanna chahta hoon ki aap ye sab kyon kar rahi thi?”

“Meri bewkoofi thi, Sir. I am sorry.”

“Nahin. Ye mere sawaal ka jawaab nahin hai. Bewkoofi karna aapka aim to nahin tha Dr. Nidhi. Jitna jaanta hoon aapko, aapke man mein kuchh achchha hi raha hoga. Kya tha wo?”

Nidhi remained silent.

“Main aapse kuchh poochh raha hoon Dr. Nidhi?”

“Kya maine khud ko already sufficient bewkoof nahin banaya hai, jo ab aap mujhse aur kuchh bulwana chahte hain?” Nidhi felt irritated at being cornered.

“Nahin,” Ashutosh said in an extremely soft voice, “Aapne khud ko bilkul bewkoof nahin banaya hai. At least meri nazaron mein to nahin, if that matters. Main aapko bura mahsoos karwane ke liye kuchh nahin poochh raha hoon. Main isliye poochh raha hoon… kyonki mere paas aur koi tareeka nahin hai ye pata karne ka ki aapke man mein kya chal raha hai. Aur mere liye ye janna zaroori hai.”

“Kyon?”

“Kyonki jo bhi aapke man mein hai, shayad kuchh bahut khoobsoorat hai. Aur main use khona nahin chahta.”

“Khoobsoorti ke saath immaturity aur bachpana bhi hai mere man mein. Unka kya karenge aap?”

“Unhein bhi enjoy karoonga. Halanki mujhe lagta nahin ki unki quantity zyada hai aapke dimmag mein,” Ashutosh smiled.

“Jab aap khoobsoorti ko, khushiyon ko apnaane ko taiyaar hain, to why not go for the best? Go for someone who can match upto you.”

“Yahi karne ki koshish kar rahi thi aap?”

Nidhi nodded.

“Dr. Nidhi. Insaan ko perfection ki nahin, khushiyon ki zaroorat hoti hai. Main bhi to perfect nahin hoon. Aap mere liye kuchh perfect kyon dhoondh rahi hain?”

Their eyes met once after this, but Nidhi averted hers again.

“Aur ek baat jaan lo Nidhi,” he spoke again in a low, heavy, intimate voice, “Feelings transferrable nahin hoti hain. Agar mujhe gulaab ke phool mein khoobsoorti nazar aane lagi hai, to iska ye matlab nahin hai ki gende mein bhi nazar aayegi. Ye jaante hue bhi ki gulaab mein kaante hote hain. Sawaal sirf itna hai ki kya woh gulaab mere garden mein khil sakega, ya wahan ki hawa use raas nahin aayegi aur woh murjha jayega. Agar nahin khil sakega, to woh jahan khil sakta hai use wahi rahna chahiye. Lekin main apne garden mein gende ke phool nahin laga sakta. Door se gulaab ko dekh kar khush rah sakta hoon.”

Ashutosh stopped for a moment and saw her gulping hard.

“Aap meri baat samajh rahi hain?” He asked.

Nidhi nodded.

“Chaliye. Phir main aapko ghar chhod deta hoon. Thakaan to ho hi gayi hogi kal din bhar ghoom kar,” he restarted the car and took a U-turn.

“Nidhi,” he called her after she got out of the car, “Tum pareshaan to nahin ho gayi meri baaton se?”

She nodded in negative with a slight smile.

“Pareshaan hona bhi mat,” he also smiled and drove away.

Nidhi walked to her room as if in a dream. The entire conversation played in her mind. And then she smiled, smiled broadly as she realized the implication. He wanted her. He wanted only her. Her shortcomings did not matter!

And she decided to throw the caution out of the window.

Ashutosh went back to the hospital after dropping Nidhi and reached home after 10 at night. He was surprised to find a flower pot lying on the table in the hall.

“Kaka. Ye paudha…”

“Ek ladki de gayi thi shaam mein… Maine poochha to bola ki Dr. Ashutosh ke liye hai aur unhein pata hoga. Naam tak nahin bataya. Kaun thi tumhein kuchh pata hai kya?”

Surprised Ashutosh went closer to the table and looked that plant. It was a rose plant. It took him a moment to realize it’s significance and then he started laughing. Kaka was surprised to see him laugh.

“Kya hua Ashutosh?”

“Kuchh nahin Kaka. Sach much pagal hai ye ladki.”

“Hai kaun?”

“Nidhi. Dr. Nidhi Verma. Is paudhe ki dekh-bhaal achchhe se honi chahiye Kaka. Murjhaye nahin.”

“Theek hai. Woh to ho jayega. Khana laga doon?”

“Haan Kaka.”

After Ashutosh retired to his room post-dinner, he had no control over his happiness. He was smiling broadly and almost felt like jumping with joy. He controlled his urge to call Nidhi up given that it was so late at night. And was the night long for him!!

Ashutosh reached hospital even earlier than usual the next day. He checked his watch after parking the car. It was still quarter to eight. Nidhi won’t be in before nine. Why had he come running this early? But he couldn’t hold himself back at home.

He didn’t know that Nidhi was already there and was watching him walk to his office through the corridor. She was excited and nervous. She was dying to meet him and yet was not sure how to face him. What will she tell him? What will they talk about? How would he behave now that he knew…

She went up to his office door, stood there for couple of minutes wondering what to do, then came back. She went there again, hesitated, leaned forward to knock, made to withdraw, but had already knocked. Startled by herself, she stumbled and held the door to stop herself from falling, making some more noise in the process.

Ashutosh walked to the door on hearing the noise wondering who could be there this early in the morning. “Kaun hai?” he asked as he opened the door and found Nidhi there still disoriented due to her little accident.

“Dr. Nidhi? Aap?”

“Yes Sir… Sorry Sir…” she mumbled while smoothening her dress nervously, “Main phisal gayi…”

“Come in. Aapko chot to nahin lagi?”

“N… No Sir,” she came inside his office.

“Koi kaam tha?” he asked casually, but it made her fluster. She suddenly became conscious that she was there for no reason.

“No Sir. Koi kaan nahin tha. Main to ain-wain hi aa gayi thi… Main jaati hoon.”

“Ruko. Nidhi,” Ashutosh stopped her, “Ab tum ain-wain aa gayi ho to ain-wain ruk bhi sakti ho. Duty shuru hone mein to abhi time hai.”

Nidhi smiled nervously and nodded. Him shifting from Dr. Nidhi to Nidhi told her that this was their personal time now. On his indication she sat down on a chair and noticed that he did not sit on his chair on the other side of the table, but took another visitor chair for himself.

“Thanks for the flower-pot by the way,” he said.

“Aapko pata chal gaya tha ki maine…” she started asking and then stopped feeling foolish.

“Log kabhi ‘Get well soon’ ka bouquet to bhijwa dete hain, lekin poora plant bhijwane waale log thode kam hi hain meri zindagi mein. Aur phir…”

“Aur phir?”

“Kaka ne bataya ki koi pagal-si ladki de gayi thi. To…”

“Main aapko pagal lagti hoon?” Nidhi forgot her nervousness and pouted.

“Pagal hi ho. Warna duty se ghante bhar pahle yahan kya kar rahi ho?”

“Phir to aap bhi pagal hue. Kyonki aap bhi wahi….” she bit her lips wondering if he would get angry at that, but was pleasantly surprised to find him laughing.

“Right. Company ka asar to hota hi hai Dr. Nidhi Verma. Main bhi ho gaya hoon pagal. Lekin ye batao,” he turned serious, “Tumhein kya lagta hai, woh gulaab khilenge mere garden mein?”

“Aapka kya khayaal hai?”

“Mujhe to dar lagta hai. I may not be a great gardener.”

“Koshish karne mein kya harz hai?”

“Gulab ko chot pahunchi to? Woh murjha gaya to?”

“Ek na ek din to murjhana hi hai. Lekin jis garden mein kismat ne use bheja hai, use enjoy karne ki koshish na karna to bewkoofi hogi.”

Ashutosh smiled, “Theek hai phir. Koshish karte hain.”

Nidhi smiled happily, but they both fell silent after that. She felt that Ashutosh’s eyes were fixed on her, while she kept hers downcast. But after the while, silence made her awkward. She also wondered if Ashutosh would have some work.

“Main… chaloon?” she asked.

“Kyon chuppi se dar lagta hai?”

“Nahin,” she laughed slighlty, “Lekin aapka time barbaad ho raha hoga, mujhe laga. Aapko kaam hoga…”

“Breakfast kiya hai tumne?”

Nidhi nodded negatively.

“Maine bhi nahin kiya. Hospital ka time shuru hone se pahle kar lein?”

“Ji…”

They went to the canteen and ordered breakfast.

“Nidhi,” Ashutosh spoke after a while.

“Ji?”

“Kya ho gaya hai? Ji aur Nahin ke alaawa kuchh bol hi nahin rahi ho?”

“Ji?”

Ashutosh smirked and Nidhi hit her forehead smiling, “Aisa nahin hai. Bas… Kuchh samajh hi nahin aa raha…”

“Aakhir aisi kya baat hai jo Dr. Nidhi Verma ko samajh mein nahin aa rahi hai,” Mallika surprised them by suddently coming near their table.

Nidhi was taken aback. She hadn’t thought of Mallika and her warning since yesterday. But Ashutosh was calm. He ignored her question.

“Baitho Mallika. Tumne breakfast kiya?”

“Maine to kar liya hai Ashutosh, lekin Dr. Nidhi bhool gayi hain lagta hai. Kyon Dr. Nidhi? Cheezein bhoolne ki aapki purani aadat hai, nahin?”

“Ji?”

“Don’t worry Mallika,” Ashutosh said calmly, “Apna stethoscope nahin bhoolti hain ye aaj kal. Kyon Dr. Nidhi?”

Nidhi smiled, “Yes Sir. Sir, I am done. Main chalti hoon.”

“Yeah,” he said and nodded.

“Mallika. Chai ya coffee logi?” Ashutosh asked her after Nidhi left.

“Kuchh loongi nahin Ashutosh. Lekin ek advice doongi zaroor.”

“Kya?”

“Tumhein Dr. Nidhi ko aise sar par nahin chadhana chahiye.”

“Kya ho gaya Mallika?”

“I think she is getting wrong signals.”

“Wrong signals?”

“Yes. Ab main aur tum koi bachche nahin hai Ashutosh. Tum samajh sakte ho. Lekin Dr. Nidhi bahut young hain. Ye age bahut vulnerable hoti hai. Log aasmaan se taare todne ke sapne dekhte hain. I think she almost hero-worships you. She has a crush on you. Agar tum unke saath zyada dosti badha rahe ho to unki galti nahin hai ki she is getting the wrong signal.”

“Mallika,” Ashutosh said politely, but impatiently, “Don’t worry. She is not getting any wrong signals. Chalo. Ward mein jaane ka time ho gaya hai. Main chalta hoon.”

Although Ashutosh had rubbished Mallika’s concern before her, what she had said about hero-worshipping had stuck to his mind and refused to let him feel comfortable. Thankfully Nidhi’s duty was not with him that day, else he would have found it difficult to even work properly.

He was pacing up and down in his office when Nidhi came in the evening.

“Dr. Ashutosh?”

“Nidhi… Hi!”

“Kya hua? Koi problem hai kya?”

“Nahin to. Kyon?”

“Aap aise chahalkadmi kyon kar rahe hain?”

“Tum kab se ho yahan?”

“Zyada der se nahin, lekin aapne darwaza khulne ki bhi aawaaz nahin suni.”

“Tumhari duty khatm ho gayi?”

“Ji.”

“Tumse kuchh baat karni thi.”

“Ji. Boliye.”

“Woh…” Ashutosh started saying, then felt foolish and stopped. What would he tell her? That she should not hero-worship him? That was odd. He changed the subject and smiled, “Main ye poochh raha tha ki abhi agar free ho to kahin chalna chahogi?”

“Kahan?”

“Pata nahin. Maine socha nahin…”

“Itni chahalkadmi karne ke baad bhi socha nahin?”

“Kya?”

“Aap mujhse yahi poochhne ke liye itne pareshaan ho rahe the na?”

“Nahin to… well… Haan… Actually yahi tha. Main samajh nahin pa raha tha ki… tumhein… kahan le jaun…” Ashutosh lied.

“To mujhse poochh lete. Itna pareshaan hone ki kya zaroorat thi?”

“Right,” Ashutosh smiled foolishly, “To batao. Kahan chalna hai?”

“Aapko icre cream pasand hai?”

“Well… I don’t mind…”

“To phir hazratganj mein ek Naturals ki shop khuli hai recently. Maine bahut suna hai uske baare mein… Wahan chalein?”

“Okay. Chalo…”

The ice cream parlour was small and crowded by the school and college going youngsters.

“Wow… This is…” Ashutosh was about to say ‘bad’, but checked himself in time, “crowded…”

“Haan,” Nidhi got the drift and said, “Rahne dijiye. Kahin aur chalte hain. Yahan aage ek coffee shop bhi hai.”

But Ashutosh could see her disappointment, “Nahin. Rahne kyon dein? Aisa karte hain yahan se poora packet le lete hain aur ghar ja kar khate hain. Zyada time nahin lagega pahunchne mein…”

“Ghar?” Nidhi appeared unsure.

“Nahin… koi zaroori nahin hai. Agar tum comfortable nahin ho to hum yahin…”

“Nahin, nahin… Aisa kuchh nahin hai. Chalte hain…”

“Sure?”

“Ji.”

“Achchha batao phir, kaun sa flavour lena hai?”

“Koi bhi… aap apni pasand se le aaiye. Maine kabhi koi khayi nahin yahan ki.”

“Theek hai,” Ashutosh said and got out of the car to get the ice cream.

Kaka almost took the hint when Ashutosh brought Nidhi home. After serving them the ice cream, he said that he had to buy some grocery and went out of the house.

“Bahut achchha hai ye. Litchi flavour tha?”

“Haan. Aur ye bhi taste karo. Chiku bhi pasand hai mujhe…”

“Achchha… Dekhoon to…”

She tasted ice-cream from the other bowl and made a face, “Nooo… ye achchha nahin hai.” She looked so cute while making the face that Ashutosh just stared at her fondly.

“Kya hua?” she asked feeling conscious of his stare.

“Kuchh nahin,” he shook his head, “To tumhein chiku pasand nahin aaya?”

“Nahin… Theek hi hai,” Nidhi realized tha the had said he liked Chiku, “But litchi bahut hi achchi hai to uske aage shayad pasand nahin aaya. I’m sure dubara khaungi to achchha lagega.” She took another spoolful of ice cream in her mouth. She unconsciously made a face again, but said, “Achchha hai.”

Ashutosh could not control his laughter at that and he laughed out loud. Nidhi looked at him mesmerized.

“Pata hai,” she said, “Jab maine Kotnis join kiya tha to sab log kahte the ki aap hanste nahin hain kabhi. It was a pity kyonki aap hanste hue bahut achchhe lagte hain.”

“Aur jab tumhein koi aisi cheez khani pade jo tumhein napasand ho to, to jaise tum pout karti ho na, woh karte hue bahut achchhi lagti ho.”

“Ji?”

“Ji. Jaise ki Chiku flavour ki ice cream.”

Nidhi blushed with embarrassment.

“Lekin Nidhi,” Ashutosh turned serious, “Tumhein mere liye kuchh aisa karne ki zaroorat bilkul nahin hai, jo tumhein pasand na ho. Ice cream ka flavour to chhoti si baat thi. Lekin kuchh aur ho tab bhi… Main is relationship se ye bilkul nahin chahta. Tum samajh rahi ho na?”

“Aap itna pareshaan mat hoiye. Aapne kah diya, to samajh lijiye main maan liya.”

Ashutosh smiled uncomfortably, “Main koi hero nahin hoon Nidhi.” He used the word that was clouding his mind the entire day.

“Mere liye to hain. Aur jo abhi aapne kaha usse to definitely ban gaye hain,” Nidhi replied with a confident smile making Ashutosh fidget. Was it all a mistake? Then he looked at her smiling face and could not help smiling back at her.

“Dr. Ashutosh!”

“Hmm?”

“Aapne mujhe kabhi bataya nahin ki aapke Baba ki woh kaun si nishani hai jise aap wapas paana chahte hain.”

“Jab mil jayegi tab bata doonga.”

“Nahin. Mujhe abhi janana hai.”

“Kyon?”

“Kyonki woh aapke liye itni important hai.”

Ashutosh looked at her for a moment and then said, “Theek hai. Chalo. Dikha deta hoon tumhein.”

“Lekin kaise dikhayenge? Woh to aapke paas nahin hai na…”

“Khushkismati kaho ya badkismati, lekin mere paas nahin hote hue bhi main use dekh sakta hoon. Aur jinhein woh diya gaya hai unke haathon uski halat dekh kar apna khoon bhi jalata rahta hoon.”

“I am sorry.”

“Uski zaroorat nahin hai. Chalo, abhi chalogi?”

“Ji,” Nidhi almost leapt out of the chair she was sitting on.

As the car left the city crowd behind and went forward on Rai Bareilly road, Nidhi felt uneasy. But Ashutosh did not notice it. He was excited at the prospect of showing it to Nidhi, of sharing what was closest to his heart with her.

Nidhi knew he wasn’t going to tell her what this thing was. So, she asked something else.

“Baba woh nishani aapko na dekar, kisse de gaye the?”

“Apni naatin ko. Jisse woh zindagi mein kabhi mile bhi nahin the.”

Nidhi felt like she would faint. She stayed silent. This time Ashutosh noticed her discomfort.

“Kya hua Nidhi?” he asked.

“Kuchh nahin,” she replied forcing a smile on her face, desperately clinging to a hope that it wasn’t what she was thinking about.

“Aapne kabhi us ladki se milne ki koshish ki? Ise wapas lene ke liye?”

“Main kyon milta usse?” Ashutosh was agitated, “Main usse nafrat karta hoon Nidhi. Itni nafrat kissi ne aaj tak kissi se nahin ki hogi. Woh mere aur Baba ke beech mein aa gayi.”

Nidhi’s heart sank. But she tried to make a case, “Lekin usmein uski kya galti thi? Aapke Baba apni marzi se…”

“Uska hona hi uski sabse badi galti hai. Mujhe gussa mat dialo ye ulte-seedhe sawaal kar ke…” Ashutosh was boiling in anger.

“I am sorry,” Nidhi said meekly.

He realized his folly and smiled, “No. I am sorry. Main tum par kyon gussa ho raha hoon. Bas paanch minute aur hum pahunch jaayenge wahan…”

All her hopes went down the drain, when the car stopped in front of the house. Ashutosh undid his seat-belt excitedly and made to open the car door, when he noticed that Nidhi wasn’t moving at all.

“Kya hua? Bahar to niklo,” he said.

“Ye ghar aapke Baba ki nishani hai?” Nidhi asked somberly.

“Haan,” Ashutosh replied with a softness in his voice that was quite unusual for him.

“Ye ghar… mere Nana apni will mein mere naam kar gaye the. Sanjivini ji shayad aapki lawyer hain,” she said without looking at him.

Ashutosh was devastated. “Tum… Tum mazaak kar rahi ho?” he managed to ask.

She nodded his head in negative. He put his seatbelt back on and started driving back. His rash driving and angry countenance told Nidhi everything. There was no question of reconcilliation. His hatred was bigger than his love.

As Ashutosh walked back into his house, his eyes fell on the rose plant in the garden. It was flourishing in the same pot in which it had arrived. Kaka had been true to his promise of taking care of it. But that plant no longer evoked the feeling of love in Ashutosh’ heart. It only evoked anger, sense of betrayal and hatred. He picked up the pot and threw it with force in anger. The mud pot broke and some of the flowers and the leaves were crushed. Ashutosh stepped on it to cause it even more harm and walked in.

Kaka was in his room and didn’t notice him coming. He walked to the kitchen to get some water from the refrigerator. Something made him open the freezer compartment. Some leftover Naturals icecream was kept there in a box. He took it out and threw it is the dust-bin. He took out a water bottle next, but instead of drinking it, he poured it over his face and hair. His anger was burning him, almost literally.

He, then, walked to his room and locked it. He threw his coat on the floor in anger and broke down.

“Kyon? Kyon aisa hota hai mere saath,” he cried out loud, “Kya koi rishta bina meri zindagi ka kaanta bane nahin rah sakta? Kya koi rishta mujhe dhokha diye bina, chot pahunchaye bina nahin mil sakta? Kyon? Nidhi hi kyon?”

Nidhi threw herself on the bed after reaching her room and cried piteously. She felt miserable. Then her sense of misery started changing into anger. What did it mean for him to be angry at her? To be hating her? What was her fault? Then even her anger subsided. And she felt the pain. Pain of a young boy crying in an orphanage, scared of his loneliness, hoping against hope for rescue, warmth… And her eyes filled with tears again. This time not for herself.

She called up Dr. Rangnath and took leave for the next day. She drove to the house early in the morning and spent time till late afternoon in cleaning it up to the extent she could.Exhausted she took a shower and then called Ashutosh. He did not pick up the call. Disapointed she left the house and drove to his house.

When Ashutosh entered the house in the evening, he saw a bunch of papers kept on the dining table. Kaka was not around. He picked them up out of curiosity. He knew the handwriting on the note kept on top of the papers.

“Ghar ke papers hain. Main Sanjivani ji se baat kar loongi taaki woh transfer ki formalities poori kar dein. Agar mujhe pata hota ki woh ghar kissi ke liye itna maayne rakhta hai to maine ye kaam bahut pahle kar diya hota. Kaash aapne ek baar baat karne ki koshish ki hoti. Shayad maafi maangne ka haq aap mujhe denge nahin, lekin phir bhi. I am sorry!”

Ashutosh slumped on one of the chairs! He had to admit to himself that he had missed her badly in the hospital. Rangnath could not tell him why she had taken the leave and he had been worried and restless. Was she all right? She had looked terrible yesterday when he had dropped her at home.

And amending the relationship was that simple… Could he try now? But he recalled their conversation from yesterday…

“Aapne kabhi us ladki se milne ki koshish ki? Ise wapas lene ke liye?”

“Main kyon milta usse? Main usse nafrat karta hoon Nidhi. Itni nafrat kissi ne aaj tak kissi se nahin ki hogi. Woh mere aur Baba ke beech mein aa gayi.”

“Lekin usmein uski kya galti thi? Aapke Baba apni marzi se…”

“Uska hona hi uski sabse badi galti hai.”

He had acted most immaturely. Her hero had fallen from the pedastal. Even if he went ahead and apologized, she won’t be able to accept him again, ever! And this time, he could not blame the fate. It was his own doing.

He got up from the chair and picked up the papers. The house keys were also lying near the papers. He picked them up too and walked out. He got into the car and almost absentmindedly drove to the house. His reverie was broken after he stepped inside the house and looked around. The interiors had been cleaned and furniture placed properly. Is that what she was doing the entire day? Tears came to his eyes and he sunk down on the floor.

What had he done?

“Dr. Rangnath. Main ek saal ke sabbatical ke liye apply kar raha hoon. Jaldi hi approve ho jayega. Dr. Mallika will be the in-charge of the ward. But the ward will need one more doctor. So, you should start looking for that…”

“Sure Sir. Lekin aap sabbatical…”

“I will see you later,” Ashutosh said sharply and turned to leave avoiding Rangnath’s obvious question. But he ran into Nidhi who was standing at the door looking quite stunned. She had overheard their conversation.

Ashutosh looked unsettled for a moment on seeing Nidhi. But he immediately put his mask back and said, “Dr. Nidhi. Please see me in my office.”

Nidhi and Rangnath stared at each other after Ashutosh left.

“Dr. Nidhi. Ye Dr. Ashutosh achanak sabbatical par kyon ja rahe hain. Koi problem hai?”

“Mu… mujhe kya pata,” Nidhi lied unconvincingly, then handed the papers she had brought for Rangnath and left the office absentmindedly.

“Aapne mujhe bulaya tha Dr. Ashutosh?” she entered his room feeling uncomfortable and nervous.

“Yes. Ye aap rakh lijiye. Inki zaroorat nahin hai,” he handed her the house papers back, “Sanjivini Ji ne mujhe phone kiya tha. Main unhein bhi bol diya hai…”

“Zaroorat to hai na Dr. Ashutosh. Is ghar ki wajah se aapne itne saal dard aur kadwahat mein guzaare hain. To ab jab ye aapko mil gaya hai to ise chhod kar kyon ja rahe hain aap? Sabbatical par kyon ja rahe hain?”

“Kuchh cheezein main deserve nahin karta Nidhi,” Ashutosh said sadly, “Mera chale jaana hi achchha hai.”

“Paheliyan kyon bujha rahe hain aap? Aise kaise sab kuchh chhod kar ja sakte hain aap? Aap itne irresponsible kaise ho sakte hain?”

“Nidhi. Ye ghar to tum mujhe de dogi. Lekin jo tanhaaiyan maine khud apne liye paida ki hain, unke saath main is ghar ka karoonga kya? Apne andhe gusse aur nafrat mein maine jo tumhare saath kiya, uske baad… main tumhara hero to nahin rah gaya na, Nidhi? Jis pedastal par tumne mujhe bitha rakha tha, wahan se to main gir gaya. Tumhein to maine kho diya… Phir…”

“Aap samajhte kya hain apne aap ko? Bhagwaan hain aap? Ki mere man ki baat khud-ba-khud jaan lenge?” Nidhi was furious, “Aur aapko lagta hai ki main aapko perfect insaan samajhti rahi hoon ab tak? Hero-worshipping karti rahi hoon? For God’s sake Dr. Ashutosh. I know you too well to do that. Jab mujhe nahin bhi pata tha ki aapke Baba ki nishaani kya hai, tab bhi mujhe ye rational nahin lagta tha ki us ek cheez ke around aapki poori life ghoomne lage, aap logon par, rishton par bharosa karna chhod dein, apni professional life mein itne sakht ho jayen ki log aapse darne lagein… No. Dr. Ashutosh. You were never perfect. But what I do know is that nobody is perfect. Maine aapki achchhaiyan dekhi Dr. Ashutosh, aur kamiyon ko accept kiya, samajhne ki koshish ki. Jaisa ki, at least mujhe laga tha, aapne mere liye kiya tha. Lekin… Khair rahne dijiye. Aapko kuchh batane ka fayda kya hai? Aapke liye to bas aapka apna faisla sabse zaroori hota hai na. Kissi se baat karna, kissi ki rai jaanana to aapne seekha hi nahin hai. To theek hai. Lijiye apne faisle. Jee lijiye apni zindagi. Main aapko disturb karne ab nahin aaungi. And for God’s sake, ye ghar, jismein itni nafrat bhari hai, mujhe nahin chahiye.”

She walked out in anger.

Ashutosh was too stunned to react for a while. Then he came to his senses and ran out. She was in the ward taking rounds. He went in. She pretended not to notice him. He felt foolish and could not think of a way of interacting with her. So, he came out.

She did not realize that he had seen her going to the common room after her rounds. He followed.

“Nidhi. Tumse baat karni hai.”

“Mujhe aapse koi baat nahin karni hai.”

“Please ek baar…”

She looked at him in anger and ran away from there. He saw her going to the terrace and awkward as it was, he still followed her.

“Kya chahte hain aap? Aapne mujhe sufficiently hurt kar diya hai Dr. Ashutosh. Aur kuchh sunne ki himmat nahin hai mujh mein.”

“Main… main… I have been an idiot Nidhi. Lekin please mujhe ek mauka do. Please. Jaise itni kamiyaan accept ki hain tumne meri, please ye ek galti bhi accept kar lo.”

“Main itni resilient nahin hoon, Dr. Ashutosh. Baar-baar distrust aur…” She fell speechless as she saw what Ashutosh did next. He fell down on his knees in front of her.

She instinctively stepped back, “Ye aap kya kar rahe hain?”

“Tumhein mujhe jo sazaa deni hai do Nidhi, mujhe jaise test karna hai karo, lekin jin andheron se tumne mujhe nikala hai, please unmein wapas mat dhakelo. Mujhe ek mauka do Nidhi…” He started folding his hands in desperation.

Nidhi also dropped down in front of him and stopped him by holding his hands.

“Don’t do this, please,” she was in tears.

“Meri udaasi aur akelepan ke liye meri insecurities zimmedaar thi Nidhi. Meri kismat nahin. Aur ek baar phir apni insecurities ke wash mein aa kar, maine apni zindagi ka sabse khoobsoorat tohfa khone waala hoon. Use bacha lo, Nidhi. Please. Tumhare alaawa koi meri zindagi ke andhere ko roshni mein nahin badal sakta.”

“Ab aap mujhe pedastal par chadha hain,” Nidhi smiled through her tears.

“Main sirf sach bol raha hoon.”

They got up and hugged each other.

“Ashutosh!” Mallika’s voice brought them back to the reality and they hastily separated. Nidhi was embarrassed and uncomfortable. She looked at Ashutosh. He indicated silently for her to go away. She did that.

“Ye kya ho raha tha Ashutosh? Tum…”

“Tumhara andaaza sahi tha Mallika. Main aur Nidhi ek-doosre se pyaar karte hain. Despite all the odds, despite everything that may not look right to others. Lekin tumhara doosra assertion galat tha. She does not hero-worship me. In fact, she understands my problems, my weaknesses more than anyone else. You don’t need to worry about me.”

He walked past her to go back to his office and withdraw his sabbatical application.

– The End –

Right and Wrong

Posted 13 CommentsPosted in English, Mathew-Protima, Original

“Mamma…. Mamma…” Thirteen year old Netra came home running. Protima was working from home that day as she was feeling feverish.

“What’s up girl?” Protima replied from her desk, “What has been so exciting in the school? In our days we used to be so bored.”

“Did you know that the blood-group of a child can be predicted by the blood-group of parents,” Netra dropped the school bag on her bed and came running to her.

“So?”

“So – we were playing this game of predicting our own blood groups from our parents’ and I realized that I don’t know either yours or Daddy’s blood group. I want to know.”

Protima’s face turned pale on hearing this and she stared at her daughter.

“What happened Mamma?”

“Netra, get your food from the fridge and finish it. I will be with you in a minute…”

“But I just wanted to…”

“I have to talk to you. Let me just finish this e-mail, please.”

“Okay!” Netra was annoyed, but she obeyed her mother.

Protima took couple of deep breaths to calm her nerves down after Netra left. The day had come! She will have to tell her the truth.

Netra was just finishing eating, when Protima came and sat beside her on the dining table.

“What’s up Mamma? Is everything all right?”

“Yes. Of course,” Protima tried to smile, “Are you done eating?”

“Yes.”

“Netra. You know that I love you. More than anything else in the world, more than my life.”

“Why are you talking like that Mamma?” Netra could sense her anxiety.

“Because it should not matter to you that you will not be able to predict your blood group with mine or your Daddy’s.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are adopted, Netra.”

Protima paused. It was Netra’s turn to go pale.

“You… you are joking, right?” she asked.

“No. I won’t joke about something like that. But it really doesn’t matter, darling.”

Netra got up, went to her room and locked it behind her. Protima looked on helplessly. “You would have handled it better Mathew,” she murmured, “How would you have done it?”

She waited for ten minutes for Netra to come out. Then went to her room and knocked on the door.

“Netra. Baby, please. You are scaring me. Please open the door.”

Netra opened it and Protima followed her into the room.

“What are you thinking? Talk to me. Please, Netra.”

She remained silent.

“Have you ever felt like you didn’t have a mother?”

“No Mamma. It’s not that. Just… I’m so confused and angry. And I know it’s not fair to be angry on you. Why was I adopted? Who are my real parents?”

“You mean your biological parents. We are your real parents. I don’t know who or where they are. You were not with them when I brought you.”

“So, there is no Daddy really, right? You had made up a story.”

“No. That’s not true.”

“How come he has never come to see me or you in all these thirteen years? I never asked you Mamma, but the question has been bugging me for quite some time now.”

“You want to know?”

“Of course, I want to know. I am feeling so lost right now.”

“Let me tell you a story…”

“Not a story Mamma.”

“It’s a real one.”

“Okay.”

“The admission letter has come. You have to go to the boarding in Mussoorie. You leave in a week’s time.” Seventeen year old Protima was informed by her Maasi.

“And he doesn’t think he needs to talk to me about it, right?” she had replied defiantly.

“It is your own doing Protima. You have gone beyond control. It took you two years to pass class tenth. Then again you were thrown out of the school for God-forbid-what reasons. And I can’t be here all my life trying to stop you from wayward ways.”

“Of course not. You have to go back, get married and then make babies. A few more morons like me, right?”

“Mind your language, girl! No wonder your father was left with no option.”

“He is too busy mourning his drunkard wife to mind me or my business.”

“I don’t want to talk to you. One more week and then I am done. You don’t have respect for your dead mother or your own father. Why should I expect to get any decent treatment from you?”

“You are right. You are wasting my and your own time.”

“Pratima Ganguli, eh?” some older students came to her in the boarding school as she was arranging her stuff on the table.

“It’s Protima. Protima Ganguli.”

“So touchy!! And if we refused to call you that.”

“Then as far as I am concerned, you are not talking to me.”

“Really Pratima?” one of them picked up a paper-weight from her table and started playing with it.

“Give it back,” Protima shouted.

“And if I don’t,” she smiled coquettishly.

Protima went forward and slapped the girl startling them all. While they were still staring at her in astonishment, she grabbed the paper-weight back and kept it on the table.

“Mind your own business,” she barked at them.

“You will pay for this,” another girl in the group said and they went back.

“Are you Pratima Ganguli?” a girl came into the room and asked.

“Protima Ganguli.”

“Whatever. The warden is calling you.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know. Go and find out. You must have broken some rule.”

“Rules – my foot,” Protima murmured and got up to go to the warden’s office.

“Pratima, what is that I am hearing…” the warden started to speak.

“I thought this was a place for educated people. Why can’t a single person pronounce my name correctly?”

“Excuse me?”

“My name is Protima, not Pratima!”

“All right,” the warden sighed, “Protima. Did you slap a girl today?”

“Yes.”

“You know that was wrong?”

“No. It wasn’t.”

“Really? Why not?”

“They were threatening me. Defending myself was not wrong.”

“If someone troubles you, you should come to me. You can’t go about picking up physical fights like that.”

“It is your duty to ensure that nobody troubles me. What good will you do by coming in, when they have already troubled me? Now, if you would please excuse me. I am tired from my journey.”

“Listen to me. Pratima… Protima…”

But Protima had left leaving a baffled and angry warden behind.

She was indeed tired and slept off for few hours. When she woke up the other two beds were also occupied.

“Hi,” one of the girls greeted her, “You are the new girl, I presume. The one who slapped Sugandha?”

“Am I famous for that?”

“Like hell you are girl. Your name is…”

“Protima Ganguli and for God’s sake, do not call me Pratima.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“What’s your name?”

“Tara Mehra.”

“If I called you Tora, would it be the same thing?”

“Oh my God, you are so funny,” Tara laughed out loud, “But point taken. I won’t call you Pratima. You are Protima. And this is Mary Joseph,” she pointed to the third girl in the room.

“Hi Pra… Protima.”

“Hi Mary.”

“You must be in class 11th?”

“Yes.”

“Which section?”

“B.”

“Cool. Then we can go to the classes together.”

“Protima. Get up. You will get late for the morning exercise. Protima…” Tara shook her.

“What the fu… What are you doing? What time is it?”

“5.45 already. We have to be on the ground by 6.”

“Are you crazy? Who gets up at this time? That too in a cold place like Mussoorie?”

“Haven’t you seen the daily schedule. Get up.”

“I am not going.”

“It’s not your choice.”

“I don’t care.”

“What should I tell the teacher?”

“Nothing. Tell them you don’t know about me.”

“You are too much. Fend for yourself. Come Mary. We have to rush.”

“Protima,” warden came looking for her after ten minutes, “Get up darling. It’s time for morning exercise.”

“I don’t want to exercise.”

“But you have to. It is required for physical fitness.”

“I am perfectly fit.”

“Enough of this drama. If you want to stay at this place, you follow the rules like everyone else does, get it? It’s your first day, I will talk to the PE teacher. He won’t punish you for being late. But that’s it. You are getting up now.”

“What will you do if I don’t get up?”

“You will be punished.”

“Cool. Punish me, if you can.”

“What on earth is wrong with you?”

“I don’t know. Please let me sleep,” she pulled up her blanket over her face.

Warden did not know what to do next. She decided to report to the principal.

“Hello new birdie!” a well-built boy approached Protima as she was walking to the classes with Tara and Mary.

“Let her be Rohit. Do you want to be reported to the principal?” Tara tried to shew him away.

“Awww… why sweetheart, are you jealous? I can handle two of you together.”

“No thanks! My days are not that bad.”

“Let him be Tara. What do you want from me?”

“Let’s get introduced.”

“My name is Protima Ganguli and when you learn to pronounce it right, you can come back for the rest of the introduction.”

“Uh oh… Not so fast sweety,” he was surprised when Protima held his hand, with which he was going to pat her back and tore out a sticker from there. The sticker said “I am available”. He was planning to put it on her back.

“Grow up Kiddo,” Protima told him, “I have done these things at least three times more often than you have. Think of something more intelligent”

Tara and Mary giggled making the boy go red in face. They moved on.

“Excuse me Ma’am,” a boy approached Protima during the break. He had a rose in his hands, “Please accept this from your slave.”

Protima sighed and asked, “Are you a new student?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“I am no Ma’am. My name is Protima. Take this rose back to the person and tell him that if he has the guts, he should come and give it to me directly.”

“But…”

“Go.”

“I like girls with attitude,” another boy came to her with the rose. From his demeanour it was clear that he was the older student who was ragging the new ones.

“So?”

“So. I like you.”

“So does almost everyone on this ground right now.”

“But you will accept the rose from me.”

“No. I won’t.”

She got up and started to move away.

“Come on darling. You don’t know who I am.”

“I don’t want to know more about losers.”

He got irritated, held her hands and pulled her towards him, “You will take this rose, do you understand?”

Protima lifted her right foot and without any warning, hit his crotch with her knees. He cried out in pain.

It took everyone a few seconds to realize what had happened. Then all the students, boys and girls alike, started laughing, while two of the faculty members who had seen them from afar ran to them. One of them took the boy away to help him, while the other grabbed Protima’s hand and took her to the principal’s office.

Principal sighed as he heard her name. He had already gotten complaints from the warden and the PE teacher since yesterday.

“What’s the problem child?” Father Rogers, the principal, asked her.

“I have no problem.”

“Then why are you going around hitting people left and right?”

“I am not hitting people left and right. That boy was harassing me.”

“Teachers have seen the two of you. He was only offering a rose. It’s okay to be offended by that and not accept it. You could have complained about him to me or to any of the other staff members. But hitting someone is not right.”

“Then do what you want to do with me. Send me back.”

“This is a place of learning child. You will learn too, right from wrong, good from bad.”

“I am not so sure. Can I leave now?”

“Wait a minute. I want you to meet Brother Mathew.”

“What for?”

“He will be your counsellor.”

“And do what?”

“Help you adjust.”

“I don’t want to…”

“Come with me,” he did not give her a chance to complete her protest. She was a handful, but he also had the experience of several years in managing students of all kinds, including the problematic ones.

He made her wait outside Mathew’s office for few minutes, while he talked to him. He came out and asked her to go in. Mathew’s office looked like a psychiatrist’s office to Protima and she chuckled loudly.

“You are finding something funny here Protima?”

“Nah! Just familiar. I have been to many a psychiatrists and so I can tell that you are a psychiatrist in disguise Brother Mathew,” she pronounced the word brother with so much sarcasm that it was not lost on Mathew.

He smiled, “You don’t have to call me Brother, if you find it so unnatural. My name is Mathew.”

“How on earth did you pronounce my name right?”

“Well. I know a bit of Bengali as I have lived in Kolkata for a few years.”

“And so you pronounce even Kolkata right. I am impressed. So tell me, how are you going to fix me?”

“Do you think you need to be fixed?”

“Everyone thinks so.”

“But I am asking what you think.”

“Does it matter what I think.”

“Of course, it does.”

“To whom.”

“When it is about you and your life, what you think is what matters most.”

“To nobody.”

“It matters to God!”

“Oh right! That’s the difference between you and the psychiatrists. At least they don’t bring God in between.”

“So, you don’t believe in God?”

“Have you seen God?”

“Yes.”

“Wow! Where? How?”

“God is in everyone.”

“Really,” Protima laughed innocently, “If he is in me, he must be a pretty bad sort of a guy.”

Mathew also laughed, “That was witty. It’s okay. You don’t believe God is looking after you. In that case, you have to believe in yourself, your life choices.”

“Is there a point in living for yourself?”

“If there isn’t, you can live for others.”

“Others don’t care.”

“That’s not true. There is always someone…”

“There is no one. Can I leave now?”

“I would like you to stay.”

“I am leaving.”

“Promise me you will come to me tomorrow after the class.”

“I promise nothing.”

“But I will wait.”

“Protima. You will have to stay in a single room for a few days,” the warden informed her.

“Why?”

“Because you need some time for adjustment.”

“What adjustment?”

“Don’t act so innocent. You have been acting violent towards your fellow students. Until we are sure that you have gotten over it, we can’t have you live with others.”

“Just for your information, I am happy to have a room to myself. I like my privacy very much. But I didn’t hit my roommates or anyone else who hadn’t bothered me.”

“We will evaluate that in time.”

“Great. Thanks.”

At Mathew’s request, no one bothered her for the morning exercise the next day. Her violent nature had been made famous by the victims of the previous day and nobody bothered her during the classes. After the classes, she almost absent-mindedly walked into Mathew’s office.

“I am so glad you came,” he looked genuinely happy.

“I had nothing to do.”

“You don’t want me to feel victorious. That’s fine. I won’t!”

“Huh?”

“You said you came because you had nothing to do.”

“Well…” she appeared confused and sat down on a chair without waiting for an invitation from him.

“So, how was your day?”

“I didn’t hit anybody, if that’s what you want to ask.”

“No. I just asked how was your day? Why would you hit anybody?”

“I have hit people. That’s why I was sent to you.”

“You were sent to me because you needed to talk to someone. And then you hit people because they troubled you, right?”

“So, does that make it right?”

“Did you do it because you thought it was right?”

“No.”

“Then? Did you have no other choice?”

“I guess I did.”

“Then why did you hit them?”

“I don’t know…”

“Try to think. Not necessarily now…”

“I was successful. Nobody troubled me today.”

“So, are you happy today?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“This is not what I want in life.”

“What do you want in life?”

“Too many things, I guess.”

“What could happen different today so that you will feel happy?”

“Today?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on. Are you not happy just like that? There is something you would want to do that will make you happy.”

“Umm… I want to have four scoops of chocolate ice-cream today.”

“Okay. Let’s go and have four scoops of ice-cream.”

“What?”

“What happened?”

“Four scoops of ice-cream. Don’t you think it is crazy?”

“What’s wrong in being crazy once in a while.”

“It’s cold.”

“So, you said that because you thought I won’t agree to it.”

Protima looked a little embarrassed, “I guess so…”

“Why would you want my disapproval?”

“I don’t know. I will leave now.”

“You are free to come and go whenever you want. I hope to see you after classes tomorrow.”

“I don’t know if I will come.”

“I will wait.”

“So Protima. What will make you happy today?”

“Going out shopping.”

“Then do that.”

“I don’t want to go alone.”

“Take a friend with you.”

“I have none.”

“Well. You are new here. Make new friends.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Who do you want to go out with then?”

“You.”

“So, is this another way of making me say ‘no’ to something that will make you happy?”

“No. I want to go out with you.”

“All right.”

“You will come with me?”

“Yes. But not right now. I have to see a few more students. In evening at five. Get permission from your warden.”

“She won’t give me the permission.”

“I will talk to her.”

“I hope you are carrying the money, Protima.”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Because I can’t be a gentleman with you and pay for what you buy. I don’t have the kind of money you would need.”

Protima found it funny and laughed out loud, “Is that your pick-up line for girls? Does it work?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oops! Sorry. Brother Mathew,” she had the same sarcasm in her voice while saying ‘Brother’ as she had earlier, but Mathew did not react.

“How do these look?” Protima picked up a pair of ear-ring.

“Good.”

“And these?”

“Good.”

“And these?”

“They are good too.”

“They are horrible.”

“I see.”

“You are not helping.”

“Protima! Of course, I can’t help. What were you thinking? Why did you want to come with me?”

“Forget this then. Take me to some place of your choice.”

“Some place of my choice?” Mathew smiled patronizingly, “I’m sure going there is not going to make you happy.”

“Try me.”

“Will you go to a church?”

“Are you trying to convert me?”

“I am only telling you the place of my choice.”

“Really? That’s where you would go on a beautiful evening.”

“That’s where I would go to find peace and happiness.”

“Church is just a building.”

“Yes. Things are just things. But what you make out of them is what affects you. People are just people. Whether you make them friends or foes is what is going to decide how you feel around them.”

“Then you don’t really need a church to find peace, do you?”

“No. You don’t. We all have our choices. A baby finds peace in its mother’s arms. Someone else finds it in their lover’s embrace. Some might find it in their warm bed. You have to find yours.”

“You find yours in church?”

“And at a lot of other places. Actually I am at peace almost everywhere.”

“A mighty peaceful person you must be.”

“Not a bad thing, is it?”

“No. I guess not. How did you convince the warden to give me permission to come out today?”

“I told her that you will go for morning exercise like every one else from tomorrow.”

“What? When did I say I will.”

“You didn’t.”

“Then why did you tell her that?”

“I just gave her my word. You are not bound to keep it.”

“Why would you give word on my behalf.”

“I just did what I had to, to make you happy.”

“Make me happy today, and unhappy tomorrow?”

“If it does not make you happy to go for morning exercise, you don’t have to. No one will pester you.”

“But you will lose your word.”

“That’s not your problem.”

“So, how was your day Protima?”

“I’m sure you got the report.”

“Yeah. I got the report of what you did. You went for the exercise and followed every rule. But how did it go for you?”

“Okay, I guess.”

“Were your roommates being mean to you?”

“I stay in a single room.”

“That’s a temporary arrangement. I mean you roommates from your original room.”

“No. They are being rather nice.”

“Then do you think you are ready to shift back with them?”

“I like my privacy.”

“Is there something so private that you don’t want to share with your friends?”

“They are not my friends. We are hardly acquainted.”

“They are not your foes, either. They can become your friends, if you share.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“What do you want to do then?”

“Can I just sit here for a while?”

“Sure.”

“Do you only have religious books in your shelves here?”

“No. There are all kinds of books.”

“Really? Romance?”

“Not Mills & Boons. But you can find something like ‘Gone with the Wind’.”

“Okay.”

Protima read for a while and then made to leave.

“Protima. You don’t need to come to see me now.”

“Why?”

“You look fine. You are settled and adjusted.”

“I see. So, you succeeded with your tricks with another problem-student. Another feather in your cap?”

“You were not a problem and I was not tricking you. What makes you feel like that?”

“Why can’t I come to see you then?”

“You can, if you want to. But you don’t have to.”

“Please keep my slot free, then.”

“So, what has made you or makes you so angry with people, with everything?”

“I thought you no longer needed to be the counsellor.”

“I am not being the counsellor. I am just curious to know. You don’t have to tell me.”

“Will you tell me about yourself?”

“I have a simple life. Ask away.”

“Why are you in the church?”

“My whole life has been there because of the church.”

“How so?”

“I was abandoned as a newborn on the church steps.”

“Oh! I am sorry,” Protima seemed very affected and disturbed by that information. She did not immediately ask anything else.

“What happened?” Mathew asked.

“Don’t you feel… angry at the people who abandoned you?”

“Do I? No.”

“Why not?”

“They must have had their reasons.”

“Have you never felt angry?”

“I never lacked love. Church and the people here ensured that. There were others like me – abandoned, orphaned, disowned… We grew up together. We were like a family.”

“So, all of them work for the church now.”

“No. everyone had their own calling. A couple of others are in the church. Most others have taken up other jobs, professions.”

“So, you weren’t under compulsion to join the church?”

“Of course not! How can anyone be forced to do God’s work?”

“This was your calling?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I felt like giving back, what I had gotten.”

“By helping people like me.”

“If I am able to, that’s one way.”

“But I am not abandoned. Not in the literal sense at least…”

“But you feel abandoned?”

Protima nodded.

“Feeling abandoned is worse than being abandoned Protima. Is that what makes you so angry?”

“Probably. I have… never really thought about it.”

“Then think. Unresolved issues clutter our mind and don’t let us do the constructive things. It’s better to understand what is bugging us and then let go of it.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“It may not be as complicated as you make it out to be.”

“What do you do apart from church work and teaching and counselling in the school?”

Mathew thought for a moment, “Tomorrow is Sunday. I will be in the church in the morning. Why don’t you accompany me to my work after that?”

“Okay.”

“So, you run this community school for poor children?”

“Church does, actually. I only manage it. Many teachers volunteer here. Apart from overall management, I also look after the Sunday school.”

“Conversions, then?” Protima was a bit sarcastic.

“Spiritual upliftment. People do not need to convert for that.”

“I see.”

“Did you see what their lives are like, Protima? They live from hand to mouth. They die of simple and easy to treat diseases. The children are malnutritioned. Church works here, but there is never enough. The basic amenities of life that you, and even I, have always taken or granted, are luxuries for them. They don’t… they can’t worry about problems like depression, abandonment, anger. Definitely not about unmatched ear-rings or uncomfortable sunglasses. They have such real problems to face.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Don’t you feel that your problems are much simpler, less daunting compared to what these people face?”

Protima looked at him strangely, almost as if she was offended. Mathew could not understand her expression. He did not say anything.

She spoke after a while, “So, because I don’t have a problem of food, shelter, clothes and health, my problems are not real? The pain I feel is not supposed to hurt? My tears are not important?”

“Protima!” she had taken him by surprise with her questions.

“Good night,” she said and walked towards her hostel as they had reached back to the school.

“Thank God, you came Protima. I was about to send you an apology note through someone.”

“Apology note?”

“You must be angry at me. For the other day…”

“Why did you think I would be angry?”

“Why else did you not come to see for a week?”

“You had said I don’t need to if I don’t want to.”

“And till that day you had wanted to. Look I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, if you said the right thing?”

“Because I said the wrong thing. I am sorry, I hurt you.”

Protima remained silent. He spoke again, “I thought about what you said all night. And I realized how wrong I was. I ask for your forgiveness.”

“I am not Father Rogers. What could my forgiveness mean to you?”

“Going to the church’s confession box is either for cowards, when you don’t have the strength to apologize to the one you have wronged, or for those with no other choice, when you can’t apologize to the wronged person. Right now, your forgiveness will be God’s forgiveness to me.”

“You might have hurt others in past. What about them?”

“I may not have. I don’t remember ever doing that comparison before anyone else. But to account for the case that I might have done that inadvertently, I will go to Father Rogers as well.”

“I am not angry at you. You may not have been right in discounting the problems of the rich, but there was some thing to think about.”

“What did you think about?”

“When someone is hungry, he really can not force his body to do something. When someone is angry, it is in his power to forget it and move on.”

“That’s a very mature thought.”

“Not easy though.”

“I agree. But you have help.”

“How can you help me?”

“Why don’t you tell me what your problem is?”

Protima sighed, “I am jealous of other people, people who are happy. My batchmates… my friends if you like… They liked going back home after school. Their mothers waited for them. Their fathers looked after them, tracked their progress, talked to the class-teachers if they had any problems… Even here, everyone looks forward to the vacations, so that they can go back home. I don’t…”

“Why not?”

“Mom was never there. Dad was too busy. Mom had drinking problems. She died… Five years ago… She was driving, drunk… Crashed…”

“I am sorry, Protima,” Mathew genuinely was.

“I think I didn’t feel anything… She had never been there anyway… It was not like anything changed…. Well… Dad did… Even though he was busy, he used to ask after me, when he was around… But after Mom died, it seems like he is grieving till date. I think he has taken to drinking as well… I don’t know. He almost never sees me…”

“It has been a long time. Why did you come to the boarding now?”

“My maasi was staying with us most of the time. To look after me… But she found me impossible. I still failed class tenth twice. Managed to pass somehow the next year. But then was thrown out of school in class 11th.”

“Why?”

“For violent behaviour, drugs…”

“Drugs?” Mathew looked worried.

“I was only showing off,” Protima smiled sadly.

“Okay. Why violence?”

“I don’t know… I got angry, if someone bothered me. Even a little bit. Like it happened here too… And I didn’t have Mom or Dad to talk to the class teacher. Do I sound stupid?”

“No. You don’t.But tell me something, Protima. Has it always been like this with your parents?”

“Whatever I remember is like that…”

“Try to think Protima. There might have been better times, happy times. Close your eyes and think… Of a time when you were happy. Come on…”

She obeyed and closed her eyes.

“Think Protima…”

“It was my birthday. Mom had got me new bicycle. I was very happy. All my friends were there. We were waiting for Dad to cut the cake… And he came… He had brought me a puppy… I had always wanted one…” she opened her eyes. She had tears in them, “But by my next birthday, it had died…”

“Hey,” Mathew walked towards her and patted her head, “It’s all right. Calm down.”

She suddenly got up and hugged him tight. Mathew was taken aback. Surprise, bordering on shock, showed on his face. He did not hug her back and waited until she withdrew.

“I’m sorry,” she said embarrassed.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I guess.”

“Sit down Protima.”

She obeyed.

“Your parents aren’t bad people, you realize that, right? You had happy times with them. Remember more of those. Something must have gone wrong and you were probably too young to understand it.”

“But everyone has problems. Does it mean they could abandon their daughter?”

“I don’t know. I can only guess. May be they were not strong enough. But you should forgive them for that. They are not bad people.”

“I guess you are right.”

“And you really have resources to make sure that you life, your dreams do not suffer because of this. You don’t lack money. Have dreams and go after them!”

Protima finally smiled through her tears, “Thank you.”

“Father Rogers. You wanted to see me?” Mathew entered Father’s office after getting permission.

“Yes. Mathew. Please sit down.” He waited for Mathew to sit down, then spoke again, “How has been the progress of this student, Protima Ganguli?”

“It has been good. Don’t you think so? She topped the class in the half-yearly exams. And her participation in sports is also encouraging. She might bring a medal or two in sprint events in this year’s inter-school competition.”

“Yes. But no other student has needed counselling for so long. It has been months…”

“She does not need counselling any longer.”

“But she sees you everyday.”

“She comes of her own accord…”

“Mathew. I will be direct. Is there something going on? People are talking and these children are my responsibility.”

“Father! What are you talking about? They are my responsibility too.”

“I know… I have always trusted you. But this closeness…”

“Trust me father. She is just… she feels abandoned by her family and if I can give some support that helps her…”

“I trust you Mathew. But can I trust her? What makes her come to you everyday. What if she is…”

“Father. She is a child. Even if she has a little crush, it is harmless. She will get over it.”

“I just thought I should let you know. Any scandal will not be good for either you, her or the school.”

“Rest assured Father.”

“I leave the rest to your judgement.”

“Thank you Father. You don’t have any reasons to be worried.”

“Do you know what will make me happy today?”

“What?”

“Going to your home.”

“My home?” Even after all these months of watching her, she managed to surprise him with her requests every now and then.

“Yes. Will you take me?”

“It may not be a good idea, Protima.”

“Why not?”

“It’s… Why do you want to go to my home?”

“So, finally you are going to say ‘no’ to me?”

“Come on, Protima. I thought you were over all of this.”

“What’s wrong?” she became serious, “Is there a problem? Have I done something…”

“No. No,” he had worked hard on sorting her out. He could not let her slip back to the feelings of insecurity and abandonment. So, he had to assure her, “Let’s go.”

“Great. What time?”

“Let’s leave at four. But you must be back in an hour.”

“I will Brother Mathew. I won’t let your reputation be tarnished. Don’t worry,” she giggled and Mathew felt uncomfortable. But he did not say anything.

“So. This is my humble abode,” Mathew said as they entered his house, “Don’t know what treasure you expect to find here.”

“Well there is wine and this looks nice, vintage…” she picked up a wine-bottle she located.

Mathew took it away from her hastily, “You are not old enough for this.”

“Well… I turn eighteen today. Old enough, you see.”

“It’s your birthday, Wow! Happy birthday.”

“So. Wine?”

“No. That’s not the way to celebrate a nice day.”

Protima smiled, “Right. I know you won’t let me drink it. I brought something for you.”

“For me?”

She took out a pen set from her handbag and handed it to him.

“I can’t take it. And it’s your birthday. You are the one who should be getting gifts. But…”

“You can’t do anything for me, that you can’t do for every student. Obviously, you can’t keep giving gifts to everyone. So, I need a way to celebrate it. That’s why a gift for you.”

“Nice play on words. But you know I can’t accept a gift from a student.”

“That’s why I wanted to come here. I am not in the school.I am your guest, not a student.”

“Protima…”

“Please,” she sounded so sincere and desperate that Mathew could not refuse her any longer.

“All right,” he said unwillingly, “But just this one time. Not again.”

“Fine. I will leave now.”

“Wait. You are my guest. Have some tea before going.”

“Okay. You will make it yourself?”

“Yeah. I do everything myself.”

It was her second year in the school.

“Can I ask you something Protima?”

“Of course.”

“Why do you come to see me every day?”

“Does it bother you?”

“Don’t dodge the question by asking something that will make me defensive.”

“You know my tricks well, then.”

“It has been over one year!”

“Right.”

“So. Why?”

“I… just need to… Else I will fall back to my old ways.”

“Why would you? Don’t you like how your life is now? You are doing well, you have friends, teachers like you, you are popular… Why would you fall back to your old ways?”

“Because I don’t do things right for popularity or friends or success. I do it because you want me to…”

“Protima. This is your life.”

“I know. Do I bother you?”

“No. Absolutely not. I feel really happy when you do well.”

“Yeah. When any of your students does well, right?”

“Right.”

She had hardly spoken anything that day, which was not unusual. She often came to his office, read few pages from a book, walked around and then left with a ‘bye’. But it was her restlessness that was making Mathew wonder. She was unable to concentrate on the book she had picked up. Her posture was tense. He finally had to ask.

“What is going on? Is there something you want to tell me?”

“You had asked me a few days back, why I came here everyday.”

“Yeah. So?”

“I come here because I love you,” Given her earlier discomfort she was surprisingly direct and unhesitant in saying this.

Mathew was unsettled, but he managed to pretend calmness, “That’s great. You should. I love you too.”

“The way you love the rest of the mankind?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah. But that’s not what I meant.”

Mathew sighed, “Right… Well… It’s not such a huge problem. You will get over it. You just…”

“Why should it be a problem? And I don’t need to get over it.”

Mathew smiled patronizingly, “You need to and you will. These confused feelings are not uncommon in people at your age…”

“I am older than most of your students. Remember I had to repeat classes.”

“Right… Older… By two years?” he was still smiling the same way.

“I am eighteen. Old enough to get married, have and raise a baby and elect our country’s government.”

“Yes. Unfortunately, it seems we are never too old to not make a mistake.”

“I am not making a mistake and I will prove it to you.”

“How?”

“You will see.”

“Protima. I am not going to let you spoil and waste your life.”

“For the first time I have found meaning in it.”

“You must stop seeing me.”

“Fine. Tell me to go away when I come next. I think it’s time for you to see your next student. Bye.”

Mathew was quite lost. He somehow gathered himself together and met with his other students, then left for his home earlier than usual. Should he have listened to Father Rogers’ advice? Had he been over-confident? Had he become weak and given her the wrong signals? His confusions and mental struggle became worse as time passed. He could not sleep at night, a very rare thing for him, and found himself down with fever in the morning. He called up at the school asking the administration to put up a notice of his absence on his office noticeboard.

Protima was panting by the time she reached his house. On seeing the notice in his office, she had panicked. What could have happened to him? She was surprised and relieved to see that the door of his house was not locked from inside. She rushed in. The house had only two rooms. She did not have difficulty in locating his bedroom. The door was open again. She rushed in.

He was lying on the bed, his eyes closed. She went close to him and touched his forehead. He was running high temperature. But he realized that someone was there. He opened his eyes.

“Protima?” he spoke weakly.

“What have you done to yourself? I don’t even know what to do? Did you take medicines?” she was almost choking on her words.

“You shouldn’t be here. I am fine. Go away.”

“No. Not until you are better.” She looked at the medicines lying on the table nearby, “You have already taken paracetamol?”

“Yes.”

“I will use cold water strips then,” she replied and went out to get water. She found a towel in the house and decided to use it for the strip.

Mathew was too weak to resist strongly. After a while, with the help of cold strips, his temperature came down.

“You should leave now, Protima.”

“Did this happen because of me? Because of what I said yesterday?”

He did not say anything.

“I think I got my reply,” she said sadly, “I am sorry. You don’t want me to come to you. I won’t come. I promise. But please let me make sure today that you are okay. Have you eaten anything?”

“No. I could not…”

“What can I get you?”

“It’s not needed…”

“Please. I am not good at these things. I won’t know on my own. Please help me.”

“Fine. Get me some milk and bread. There is shop right at the end of the street…”

“I know. I will be back in five minutes.”

She got the bread and milk, toasted the bread although burned them slightly in the process, boiled the milk and served him.

“Can I come back in the evening…” she began to ask when he had finished eating.

“No. I am fine. There is enough bread and milk. I will help myself.”

“Okay,” she was unwilling, but could not pester him. She looked at him longingly and left.

They hadn’t met each other for last four months, not since she had left him in his house after feeding him bread and milk. Her exams for class 12th were over and it was time to leave the school. She was packing her stuff, when she got a note from Mathew. It was written formally on his letterhead asking her to meet him that evening. A small smile formed on her lips, but she also wondered what they would talk about.

She knocked and walked into his office. She stood silently.

“How did your exams go?”

“Fine, I think. The results will tell…”

“You had done well in mock-tests.”

“Your tracked my results?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I have always wanted you to do well. I always will want so.”

“Thank you.”

“What are the future plans?”

“College in Mumbai, I think. Dad told me recently that we are shifting to Mumbai. His business headquarters had anyway shifted to Mumbai from Kolkata.”

“Good. Mumbai is a great city. A land of opportunities.”

“Hopefully.”

“I wanted to give you something.”

“What?”

“I know you don’t believe in God. But still, keep it as a symbol of goodness in life. You might find peace in it when you need it the most.” He handed her a cross with Christ. It could be used as a pendant.

She took it and clutched it hard in her hand as if ensuring it won’t go away, “Thank you. It means a lot.”

“All the best, Protima. And you have moved on, right?”

“No. I haven’t. I never will.”

“You must.”

“I won’t. And I think one day you will come to me.”

“I won’t Protima. Don’t wait for me. Live you life.”

“That I will do. I think… I have learned to live my life.”

“Remember, our lives are different. Our paths are different. They crossed for a while, to fulfill some purpose. But from now on…”

“I can see what purpose it served in my life. What did it serve in yours?”

“It taught me that just because people are well-fed and well-clothed, it does not mean their problems and pains are not real.”

Protima was surprised that he referred to an incident from long ago. She smiled wistfully, “Let’s see who wins my little challenge.”

Mathew also smiled, “If I win, Protima, you don’t lose either. It will be the real win for you too.”

“Same here. You won’t lose if I win.” She moved forward and kissed him on the cheek, “Bye Mathew.”

He wasn’t unsettled with it, but he did not reciprocate the physical gesture. “Good bye, Protima. Take care of yourself. There should be no looking back in your life.”

Netra was listening to the story with the wonder and curiosity of a child.

“And then, Mamma?” she asked eagerly.

Protima smiled, “And then I came to Mumbai. I had hardly started college, when your grandfather, my Dad came to me one day and said that I should get involved in business with him and work with him after my classes. I did not know why it could not wait until I finished college, But I did what he wanted. I wanted to keep busy and keep working. I realized why he did that when soon after I finished my BA, he had to step away from active management. He was suffering from heart problems. Open heart surgery was not so safe and prevalent then. He succumbed to his illness soon. You are probably not interested in this part, but it might be a life lesson for you too. So, I am telling you. Before dying he explained to me what had happened to him after my Mom’s death. Mom wasn’t the one driving the car when she had died in the accident. It was him. She was drunk and they were having some argument. Something went wrong with the car and he lost control. He asked Mom to jump out of the car as it was going to crash. But she was too drunk to follow his instructions. He jumped out and was saved. But he could never get over the guilt of not being able to save her. He had started ignoring me because seeing me always overwhelmed him with guilt. And he also told me the reason why Mom had taken to drinking.”

“Why?”

“Because she had contracted AIDS. Possibly through blood infusion or unhygienic syringe during her hospitalization a few days back for a minor surgery. Again, the awareness was not there and anyone who came to know about it questioned her character! She went into depression and started drinking. Sorry for these depressing stories darling. But it just came out…”

“It’s fine Mom.”

“Coming back to me. After Dad died, I just threw myself into my work. That was my life, apart from the occasional visits to the church, untill…”

“Untill?”

“Untill I heard about you in the church one day. When I saw you and came to know that…” she hesitated and paused.

“That I was abandoned at the church?” Netra completed the sentence for her.

Protima nodded, “I felt that you were a part of him Netra, who was sent to me by… God, I guess. Mathew’s God, even if I was not sure of His existence.”

“You never met each other after you left the school?”

“No.”

“Does he even know about me?”

“Of course, he does. I have always sent him letters, telling him everything about myself and you. He has your photographs. He never replied, but he always sent a card on your birthday.”

“I have never seen one…”

“I saved them all, but I did not show them to you earlier. Because I did not want to raise your hopes. I was waiting for the day, when you would know the story and understand. I think today is the day. Wait a minute.”

Protima went to her room and came back with a cardboard box. It had thirteen birthday cards. Netra looked at them and touched them one by one, getting emotional.

“Netra,” Protima addressed after she had looked at all the cards, “The one good thing my Dad did before dying was that he told me what had gone wrong with him and Mom. Because of that I could honestly assure him on his death-bed that I was not angry with him. It also helped me forgive them, truly forgive them. Like Mathew had said, they were not strong enough, but they were not bad people. Today you know everything you can about yourself, me and Mathew. It’s true that biologically we have not given birth to you. You also did not have the perfect, complete family life a child deserves. But if the best reason for a child to come in the world is the love her parents share, then nobody was born with a better reason than you. You are with us because of the love we shared. Even if you Daddy has not been physically there for you, I assure you that he loves you and always looks after you in his own ways.”

“This is surreal Mamma. You loved him so much that you waited for him all these years and never thought of…”

“Love, I realize now, is not good enough a word Netra. It is something that you can only feel. A spiritual connection is probably the closest thing in words to describe it, but it is loaded too. And no – I am not waiting for him. I stopped doing that long back. I know, now, that he was true to his word. But I don’t regret my decision either. I am very happy with my life.”

“Mamma…” Netra was overwhelmed.

“Do you hold grudges against me Netra? Or him? If there is something I could have done for you and I haven’t, if you have ever felt that you lacked a mother’s love, let me…”

“Stop it, Mamma,” finally tears had started flowing from Netra’s eyes, “I love you. And I know that no one can love someone like you do. I am the happiest and luckiest child in the world.” She hugged her mother.

“I love you darling. I love you a lot,” Protima was also teary-eyed as she hugged her daughter back and patted her lightly.

Four years later…

“Mamma. Class 12th exams are over and I am planning to go on a trip to Mussoorie and nearby places with my friends.”

Protima smiled. “I know where you are going and why. He is now Father Mathew. They have promotions too, you see,” she joked.

“Mamma!”

“Here. Take this,” she took out the chain she was wearing with the cross pendant. “The way people used to carry a piece of jewelry for identification in old days.”

“You are too much Mamma.”

“You will need permission to enter the school campus to meet him. So, you will need to call him beforehand…”

“No. That won’t do. I want it to be a surprise…”

“Then you have to catch him in the church… I don’t know what time is the best, except on the Sundays. Or get up at five in the morning. And find him in the public park for his morning walk.”

“Five in the morning? In Mussoorie?”

“Well…”

“All right. He must be God’s son. What else would explain having to do so many penances to reach him,” Netra joked and the mother-daughter duo laughed.

Protima did not have any photo of Mathew, but there weren’t many people in the park that early in the morning. Netra joined an elderly gentleman in his walk.

“Father Mathew?” she asked.

“Yes child. What brings you…” he stopped as he looked at her.

“Do you recognize this?” Netra held out the pendant she was wearing for him to see.

The look of surprise on his face changed to a smile, “It was not needed. I recognize you, Netra.”

She also smiled back.

“Come. Let’s sit down,” Mathew said.

“It’s so cold here. I have spent all my life in Mumbai. I can’t bear this. Can we go indoors somewhere?”

“The church is nearby, but I don’t know if you…”

“Why not? I have been brought up as a Christian?”

“Really?” Mathew looked at her in surprise.

“You didn’t know?”

“Protima never told me. She didn’t need to do this…”

“But she did, Daddy… I am sorry. Can I call you Daddy? After all Father and Daddy mean the same thing, right?”

Mathew laughed out loud, “No. They don’t mean the same thing. But yes – you can call me Daddy.”

They walked into the empty church and sat down on the chairs in the back row.

“How did you recognize me?” Netra asked, “By the photos Mamma sent?”

“You have changed your hair-style since the last photo she had sent. But see. Someone gifted me this recently. An old student,” he took out a large screen smart-phone from his pocket, “And he taught me something with which I can see your latest photos.”

Netra looked on curiously, as he, with lots of effort, tapped the phone screen to finally reach Facebook application, searched for her profile and went to her photos page. Then she broke into an amused laughter, “You have been stalking me on Facebook.”

“The joys of technology child. If it had been there in our times…”

“Would you have written to Mamma then?” she became serious.

“No. I had held on to the hope for a long time that she would move on and live her life normally.”

“And?”

“And she wasn’t normal. She was a little crazy. After you came, I knew this was how it was supposed to be. It was God’s will. You were God’s child.”

“You never came to see me.”

“I am sorry. Forgive me for that, if you can. But going away from here might have tempted me to abandon my duties to so many others who needed me. You had your mother. And I knew that she would have ample love for you. Was I wrong?”

“No.”

“But you should know that I love you.”

“Like you love everyone else who needs you?”

Mathew laughed slightly, as he remembered how Protima also used to ask in various ways, if he treated her in the same way as all the other students. Then he replied with a smile still on his lips, “No. You are special. And I am sure God will not mind my bias for you.”

“I am here for three days. Can I… stay with you?”

“Of course. For as long as you like and as long as you have time.”

“I wish I could stay longer, but I have enrolled in a vocational course for summers. So, I will have to go back. But for these three days, can I… can I ask you to step away from your duties and spend time with me. If it is not…”

“Yes. You can Netra. And your time starts right away. Let’s go home.”

Over next three days, Netra went to the places in the city she remembered from Protima’s story with Mathew – the market, the slum of poor people, the church, his office, various places on the school. They also spent a lot of time in the quiet, scenic places in Mussoorie trying to know more about each other. Netra soon realized that although Mathew worked hard to keep his emotional side in check, he was as eager to know about Protima and Netra, as they were about him. She felt nice. He showed her the pen Protima had gifted him all those years back. “I sign all your birthday cards with this,” he said.

“Really. You still get refills for such an old pen.”

“It’s an ink-pen Netra. And yes – you still get ink. Though kids these days don’t like to touch ink-pens I have seen.”

Netra grinned foolishly.

Soon, it was time to leave.

“Won’t you come to see her at least once, Daddy?” Netra asked before leaving.

“So, you have come here to fight the battle on behalf of you mother, eh? You want me to lose?” Mathew joke.

“Is there a battle?”

He smiled fondly, “No. There is none. I was joking.”

“I know.”

“I will come. At least once.”

“Can I call you?”

“Of course. Whenever you want. Why didn’t you call earlier? Did Protima ask you not to?”

“No. I never asked her, I had never met you. I wasn’t sure what would I talk over phone.”

“I will wait for your call.”

Ten years later…

Tired Netra came downstairs to open the door for the visitor and was extremely excited to see him.

“Daddy!” she cried and hugged him, “Thank you so much for coming. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming….”

“Where is she?”

“In her room. Please come.”

“Mamma. Look who is here?” Netra went by Protima’s bedside and gently held her hand.

“Who? Mathew? No. I am hallucinating,” she said lying on the bed. She had developed respiratory problems and could not move around much.

Mathew moved forward and sat down beside her on the bed, “That’s what I had thought thirty-five years ago, when I was down with high fever and you had walked in, to look after me, Protima.”

Protima was speechless for a few moments. Then she opened her mouth as if to say something, but ran short of words. In her excitement, she tried to get up, but Netra stopped her, “Easy Mom.”

“I am fine Netra,” she did finally sit up with Netra’s and Mathew’s help.

“I will be back in a bit. Just call me if you need me,” Netra said and went out leaving them alone.

“Say something, Protima,” Mathew said with a smile.

“I won,” she said playfully.

“Yeah. But I did too, right?”

She nodded, “Thank you for coming. But how did you manage?”

“I am sixty-five now. I retired from my church duties.”

“Then you will stay, right?” she looked so desperate that Mathew could not keep the surprise from her for long.

“Yes.”

“Thank you,” she got tears in her eyes, “I am so tired and weak. And Netra is alone.”

“I am here. And you have brought Netra up to be strong. She is fine. Don’t worry,” he got up, sat near the headboard of the bed and gave her a slight side hug. “I am here,” he said again.

She closed her eyes with smile on her lips. The last six months or so of her life were going to be spent in the company of her love. She couldn’t have lived a better life!

Netra, who had stopped at the door seeing them talking, wiped her tears and came in with the tea-tray.

– The End –

Unaware Saviour

Posted 10 CommentsPosted in Chandrima-Jerry, Hinglish, Inspired

Jerry opened the door on hearing the knock.

“Yes?” He asked seeing a teenage girl standing there.

“Sir. Aapke liye khaana le aaun?”

Her pronunciation was a relief to him. It was the normal, urban Hindi he was used to hearing. Otherwise the Rajasthani Hindi he had been hearing since he had landed in the village had made him feel like he had come to some other country. He often had to ask them to repeat something two to three times before he could understand it.

“Umm… Haan. Theek hai. Main kha sakta hoon abhi.”

“Ji.”

“Suno. Tumhara naam kya hai?”

“Sab log mujhe Chanda bulate hain.”

Something in her reply amused him, “Sab log tumhein Chanda bulate hain. Iska kya matlab hai? Ye tumhara naam nahin hai? Bas log bulate hain?”

“Jo log bulate hain, usi se to matlab hai na. Hum kaun hain, isse kissi ko kya farq padta hai?” the statement looked too philosophical coming from the mouth of someone so young. Jerry shook his head smiling and closed the door as she went back to get his food.

He wanted to talk more to her, when she brought him his food, but she had hardly kept the food on the table when someone called her and she rushed out.

“Ab aapke shaharon waala intezaam to yahan nahin ho sakta, Doctor Sahab,” the sarpach, in whose house he was put up, was having tea with him in the evening, “Lekin agar hamare layak koi bhi seva ho to khul kar bataiyega.”

“Aap unski chinta bilkul mat kijiye. Mujhe koi pareshaani nahin hai. Sab intezaam badhiya hai.”

“Kissi cheez ki zaroorat ho to mujhe bata dijiyega. Aur aapke khaane-peene ka khayaal rakhne ke liye Chanda hai.”

“Ji. Waise woh aapke parivaar se hi hai?” Jerry could not suppress his curiosity.

“Bhatiji hai meri. Thodi bigdail aur nakchadhi hai, lekin seekh rahi hai. Agar koi gadbad kare, ya sahi se kaam na kare to mujhe bata dijiyega. Khabar loonga uski.”

“I’m sure uski zaroorat nahin padegi,” Jerry did not like how he talked about Chanda, but he had to be civil to them.

He had to stay in the village for one month. He was associated with an NGO and they had launched a new heath programme. He was there to oversee that. As a doctor, he was supposed to train the local people to identify and treat some common diseases and also do an early detection of diseases which might need specialist treatment, so that the patients could be taken to the hospitals in the nearest city in time. His stay had been arranged in the Sarpanch’s house through the NGO’s connections.

“Tumhein kitni baar samjhaya hai ki jab istemaal karna na aata ho to meri cheezon ko haath mat lagaya karo,” Chanda was shouting at a ten or eleven year old boy, who seemed to be taking pleasure in irritating her, “Dimaag naam ki cheez nahin hai kya?” Jerry saw the scene and stopped at a distance from them. He was returning to his room after having tea with the Sarpanch. His room was located slightly away from the main house.

“Jiji. Dekho ye phir se mujhe daant rahi hai,” the kid called another girl, who was about the same age as Chanda. She came running to the spot.

“Chanda. Tu pagal hai kya? Maa ne tujhe kitni baar kaha hai ki Bua ke bachchon se aise baat mat kiya kar.”

“Kyon na kiya karoon? Ganwaaron jaisi harquatein karte hain…”

“Chanda. Woh mehmaan hain hamare. Unke jo jee mein aayega karenge. Mere saamne jo bolna hai bol le tu. Lekin agar Maa ko bol dega ye ja kar to tujhe achchhi tarah se pata hai ki tera kya haal hoga. To behtar hoga tu sudhar ja. Chal Munna,” the girl held the boy’s hand and walked away from Chanda.

Jerry realized that she was going back to the house and he would be on the way. So, he hastily started walking towards his room and ran into Chanda. She was fuming, was hardly aware of her surroundings and if Jerry would not have been careful, they would have hit each other.

“Tum theek ho, Chanda?” he asked with concern.

“What the fuck do you want now?” she shouted and then realized who she was shouting at. Jerry wasn’t affected by her shouting because he was more surprised by her fluent English.

“You don’t belong to this place, do you? Kya hua hai? Mummy-Daddy ne summer vacations bitane ke liye bhej diya hai kya? Achchha nahin lag raha yahan?” he smiled.

“Main yahin rahti hoon,” she said coldly and tried to get over her anger, “Aur maine jo kaha, uske liye sorry. Mujh pata nahin chala ki aap the…”

“It’s okay.”

“Chachi ne aapse poochhne ko kaha tha ki aap raat ka khaana ghar par aa kar khayenge ya aapke kamre mein le aaun?”

“Tum laogi?”

“Ji.”

“Agar taqleef na ho, to kamre mein hi le aao.”

“Theek hai. Main chalti hoon.”

“Suno.”

“Ji.”

“Yahan kahin cold drinks milegi? ”

“Market tak jaana padega. 3-4 kilometer hai yahan se. Koi vehicle milna mushkil hai. Chal na payen to behtar hoga Chacha ko bol dein. Woh kissi ke saath motorcycle se aapko market bhijwane ka intezaam kar denge.”

“3-4 kilometer chal sakta hoon main. Itna boodha nahin hua hoon.” he smiled.

“Waise ye dhyaan rakhiyega ki unse poori bottle maangiyega. Dus rupye ki bottle pandrah rupyon mein denge. Lekin agar woh nahin lenge to woh bottles khol kar rakhte hain. Aur phir chhote plastic ke cups mein teen-teen rupyon ka dete hain. Koi fizz rahta hi nahin hai. It’s so pointless.”

“Thanks for the tip. Main to kamre mein laane ki soch raha tha.”

Chanda smiled sarcastically, “Kamre mein? Bhaap ban kar ud jayega is garmi mein. Ye koi five-star hotel ka mini-fridge laga hua kamra lag raha hai aapko? Is poore gaon mein kissi ke paas fridge nahin hai. Good luck drinking hot-hot cold-drink.” She walked away after that intriguing Jerry. She obviously did not belong to this place. But she said she lived there. How? Why?

He looked at the watch and decided to walk to the market right away.

“Itna saara khaana? Main akele aaya hoon yahan, dus logon ki family le kar nahin!” Jerry exclaimed when Chanda brought him food in the evening.

“Sorry. Is baare mein kain kuchh nahin kar sakti. Khaana kam karne ko kahungi to… Khair chhodiya. Main chalti hoon.”

“Tum mere saath kyon nahin kha leti? Itna saara khana hai. Aur ye plate bhi hai extra.”

“Nahin. Main nahin kha sakti,” she was unnaturally cold again, “Agar aapko kuchh aur nahin chahiye to main chalti hoon.”

“Achchha ruko. Ek cold-drink to pee sakti ho,” he walked towards the window. A thermocol lined ice-box was lying there. He opened it and asked her, “Coke ya Fanta?”

For the first time, he saw a warm smile on her face, “That was ingenious. Aap poora ice-box hi utha laye.”

“What do you want?”

“Coke.”

An opener was lying on the table. Jerry used it to open two bottles of coke. One for each of them. Her resisted the urge to ask her more about herself, lest she became uncomfortable again. He just watched as she greedily gulped down the coke.

“Achchha tha.”

“Tum jab chaho le sakti ho yahan se. Din mein mera kamra to tumhi saaf karti ho na.”

Her face clouded and the smile disappeared when he said that. She just nodded and made to leave. Suddenly she remembered something.

“Aapke paas koi mirror hai?”

He looked around and took a small mirror out form the drawer. “Kya hua?” he asked as he handed her the mirror.

“Lips par color to nahin laga hai, ye dekh rahi hoon. Warna log poochhhenge…”

“Nahin. Coke se nahin lagta. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you,” she handed the mirror back to him and left.

Jerry looked at the food, everything soaked in at least a ton of ghee and sighed. He will have to buy some bread to survive and get some tissue paper for the times he did want to eat those rotis!

He had to pass through their huge “aangan” to go the bathroom in the morning. When he was coming back, he saw Chanda finishing the brooming of the place. Next, she needed to sprinkle water on the muddy surface to keep the dust in check through out the day. She was struggling with a huge brass pot filled with water. She could not lift it and was trying to drag it. He looked around and saw that no one was there to help her.

“Let me help you,” he rushed towards her, “Itna bhaari ghada kaise uthaogi tum?”

“Don’t. Are you crazy?” she looked around scared and was relieved to find that no one had seen was them.

“What happened?”

“Let me be. Kissi se dekh liya to shaamat aa jayegi. I am supposed to do this. Please…”

He backed off, feeling very uncomfortable. He kept looking back at her while walking towards his room. She was panting and sweating trying to finish her work. It wasn’t her cup of tea. Was she being forced? Where were her parents? What was going on? Could he ask her? Or someone else?

Jerry came back in the evening and saw Chanda sitting on a ground at some distance from his room. She had a bamboo stick in her hands, with which she was absentmindedly hitting the ground repeatedly. He was very tired after a full day spent in trying to train village youngsters. But he still walked towards her.

“Hi Chanda.”

She was startled and stood up immediately, “Oh! Aap hain.”

“Sorry. Maine tumhein dara diya.”

“Nahin. Aapki koi galti nahin hai. Mujhe darane ke liye aaj kal zyada kuchh karne ki zaroorat nahin hoti.”

Jerry was about to ask something when someone called her.

“Chachi bula rahi hain. Main aapke liye chai le kar aati hoon. Aapke liye paani ki bottle ice-box mein rakh di thi. Agar ice bacha hoga box mein, to paani thandha hoga,” she told him and ran away to attend to her aunt.

The cold water was a huge relief to Jerry. He was pouring some of it on his face too, when Chanda came back with some tea and snacks.

“Bahut thak gaye hain aap?”

“Tumne training lene ke liye volunteer kyon nahin kiya?”

“Aap kyon kar rahe hain itni mehnat? Yahan ke logon ki madad karne ke liye?”

“Haan…”

“Aur mujhe yahan kissi ki madad karne mein koi interest nahin hai.”

Jerry was taken aback at her curt and rude reply. He could not make up his mind on whether to ask her the reason for that.

“Lagta hai heat has gotten to you too. Tum ek cold drink kyon nahin le leti?” he said trying to change her mood.

“Nahin. Main theek hoon,” she said and made to walk out.

“Ruko Chanda. Please baitho yahan thodi der. Please.”

“Chachi gussa karengi.”

“Unhein bol dena ki maine roka tha. Kamre ki safai karwani thi.”

She nodded, but still looked reluctant.

“Tumhare parents kahan hain?”

“Kyon poochh rahe hain aap?”

“Bas janana chahta hoon. Aakhir ye chal kya raha hai? Yahan rah kar to tumhari itni sophisticated upbringing nahin hui hogi?”

“Ya aap offended feel kar rahe hain ki main aapke is charity ke attempt ko utni value nahin de rahi, jitna sab de rahe hain, ya jitna aap khud bhi dete hain.”

“Itni kadwahat kyon? Tum yahan apni marzi se nahin rah rahi ho?”

“Aap jaante hain, mujhe kyon is jagah ke logon ka bhala karne waali kissi cheez mein koi interest nahin hai?”

“Kyon?”

“Kyonki ye log khud apna bhala nahin karna chahte. Oopar uthna hi nahin chahte.Kyon bahar se logon ko aakar, yahan anpadh logon ko training deni pad rahi hai? Kya is gaon mein log padh-likh nahin sakte? Haan – hain aise log jinke paas nahin hain paise aur nahin padh sakte. Lekin ye mere Chacha ji. Sarpanch hain gaon ke. Aise hi nahin hain. Inke paas itne paise hain, jitne I am pretty sure aapke paas nahin honge. Maine inse koi bada kharcha karne ko nahin kaha tha. Main National Open School se 12th ka exam de sakti thi. Khud medical entrance ki preparation kar sakti thi. Nominal fee thi. Lekin nahin karne diya. Ye sab inke ghar ki bahu-betiyon ke liye nahin hain. Aur ladke to saare itne kamaal ke nikalte hain ki… Padhai-likhai to unki izzat par batta lagati hai. Bas laathiyon aur bandookon ki bhasha samajhte hain. Main doctor ban kar yahan ke logon ka bhala kar sakti thi. Lekin woh nahin karne dete. Ye adhkachri training le kar kyon karoon? Malaria se, small pox se, normal fever se bhi mar jaate hain. Aur khush hain phir bhi. Nahin sudharni inko apni halat. Bas iski zameen chheeno, usko dhamkar kar aao, use thikane lagao… Aur jab entertainment ki zaroorat ho to ghar ke kissi bachche ko pakad kar unki shaadi karwa do. To mar jayen sab ke sab, meri bala se. Main khud hi kaun sa zinda hoon yahan?”

“Tum yahan kaise aa gayi? Tumhari parvarish kahan hui hai? Parents kahan hain tumhare?”

Chanda looked up at him. It appeared like she had suddenly realized where she was and what she was doing. She got up and ran away without answering any further question. Jerry was lost in his thought. He could make guesses about what would have happened to her. But he could not know for sure. But her young soul was clearly rebelling. Probably nothing could be worse for the rebellion of the young blood than for it to be in surrounding where no one identified or acknowledged it. He could feel her frustrations. What he did not know was why had she landed in this situation?

The youngest son of Sarpanch brought him the dinner that night.

“Chanda nahin aayi?” he asked eagerly.

“Chanda jiji ki tabiyat kharaab hai.”

“Tabiyat kharaab hai? Kya hua?”

“Unhein chakkar aa rahe the. So rahi hain.”

“Chalo mere saath. Main dekhta hoon. Ek minute. Maine dawaiyaan aur instruments le loon.”

“Doctor Sahab?” Sarpach had just finished his dinner and was surprised to see Jerry at the house.

“Ji. Aapke bete ne bataya ki Chanda ki tabiyat kharaab hai.”

“Tabiyat kharaab hai?” Sarpanch was surprised and looked at his wife, who was standing behind the curtain.

“Are – bekaar mein apne natak se usne aapko pareshaan kar diya Doctor sahab,” his wife said, “Kaam karne ka man nahin hoga to bahana bana kar so gayi hai. Chulhe par chaar rotiyan jo senkne ko kah diya tha maine. Maharani ke nakhre shuru ho gaye. Na jaane sasuraal ja kar kya karengi ye?”

“Phir bhi. Main ek baar dekhna chahunga,” Jerry replied with cold civility.

“Haan. Jab aap aa hi gaye hain to dekh lijiye ek baar,” Sarpanch said and led him inside.

The rooms in the house were small, stuffed and hot. Hardly a place where one could remain healthy, Jerry thought to himself.

Chanda was sleeping on the bed and her pale face was enough to tell Jerry that she was not pretending sickness. He took his pulse and blood pressure.

“Blood pressure alarmingly low hai. Isliye chakkar aa rahe honge? Main ja kar dekhte hoon ki mere room mein dawaiyan hain ya nahin. Lekin aap please tab tak thoda namak aur cheeni ka ghol banwayenge?”

“Ji. Shubhra. Ja ghol bana kar la,” Sarpanch addressed one of his daughters and she obeyed. With the help of other women in the house, Chanda was made to sit up and have some of the drink. Meanwhile, Jerry found a tablet that could help bring her BP up a bit and gave that to her. He came back from the house with a heavy heart. He did not have dinner and spent the night rather restlessly.

He was wide awake when Chanda brought him tea and breakfast early morning.

“Tum?” he hastily took the tray from her hands, “Tumhein abhi kaam karne ki kya zaroort thi? Don’t tell me tum aangan mein jhaadu-pochha kar ke bhi aayi ho.”

“Thank you. Kal mera treatment karne ke liye.”

“Treatment abhi poora nahin hua hai. Tum mere saath aaj shahar chalogi. Tumhare kuchh tests karwane hain.”

“Main kahin nahin jaungi.”

“Maine tumhare Chacha se baat kar li hai.”

“Usse kya hota hai?”

“What do you mean?”

“Mujhe pata hai ki aap jo kar rahe hain, mere bhale ke liye hi kar rahe hain. Lekin please samajhne ki koshish kijiye. Ye aapki duniya nahin hai, aap ise nahin samajhte hain. Aapke haathon raksha mein hatya ho jayegi. Meri zindagi aur mushkil hi ho jayegi.”

“Saaf-saaf batao baat kya hai? Kissi ne kuchh kaha hai?”

“Aap… Listen… Aap please mujhe dekhne dubara mat aaiye. Yahan log aise hi beemaar padte rahte hain aur theek hote rahte hain. Aur khaas kar ke auratein baat-baat par doctors ke paas nahin jaati, dawaiyaan nahin khaati. You are not supposed to be that weak.”

“Weak? Beemaari mein ilaaj karwana weakness kahan se ho gayi…”

“Maine kaha na aap nahin samjhenge…”

“Mujhe nahin lag raha ki tum bhi samajhti ho…”

“Samjhoon ya nahin, manna meri majboori hai. Aap aaj hain, kal chale jayenge… Lekin mujhe yahin rahna hai. Samjhe aap? Door rahiye mujhse aur meri problems se. Unhein aur mat badhaiye.”

“Theek hai. Main tumhari baat maanoonga. Lekin do sharton par.”

“Kya shartein?”

“Ek to tum mere saath baith kar abhi dhang se breakast karogi. Mujhe pata hai kal tumne dhang se kuchh khaya-piya nahin hai. Aur doosre Tum mujhe honestly apne baare mein sab bataogi.”

Chanda sighed, “Theek hai. Yahi sahi. Agar aapka koi writer dost hoga, ya kabhi aapko hi shauk hua, to shayad meri life par koi story ya novel hi likhi chali jaye.” She was very bitter when she said that, but Jerry decided to ignore it. He uncovered the plate covering his breakfast. It had aaloo paranthaas.

“Aaloo paranthe pasand hain tumhein?”

“Meri pasand-napasand main bhool chuki hoon.”

He handed her two paranthas in a plate and took one for himself.

“Kya janna chate hain aap mere baare mein?”

“Pahle breakfast khatam karo.”

“Ye tumhari real family hai?”

“Agar real family ka matlab blood relation hota hai, to haan.”

“Tumhare parents kahan hain?”

“They are dead.”

“I am sorry. To isliye tum…”

“Chandrima Rathore. Chandrima Rathore naam hai mera. Ya tha. Ab kya farq padta hai? Meri Mummy Bengali thi. Unki aur Daddy ki love marriage thi. Aur dono taraf ki families ne unse rishta tod liya tha. Hum log Lucknow mein rahte the aur khush the apne chhote se parivaar mein. Lekin 6 saal pahle, sab badalne laga. Mummy ki death ho gayi. Cancer se. Mera khayaal rakhne ke liye koi ho, isliye Daddy ne doosri shaadi ki kuchh dinon ke baad. Lekin unke liye woh ek disastrous decision tha. Un dono ki kabhi nahin bani. Woh itne tense rahne lage the ki he took to drinking. Aur ek din buri tarah pee kar woh car le kar nikal gaye. Phir nahin laute… Hamein accident ke baare mein agle din pata chala…” Chanda paused after this and Jerry also did not break the silence.She spoke again after few moments, “I was fourteen then. Had just finished my tenth standard exams. My step-mother wanted to have nothing to do with me after Daddy’s death. So, his family stepped up and brought me with them. I should be grateful. At least mere sar par ek chhat hai. Lekin… this world is not mine. I am and will always be an alien here, someone they have to work hard on to make her assimilate. But do I want to assimilate… Or does it matter what I want… I wish I was there with Daddy in that car…”

At this stage, she broke down and started sobbing. “Maine aisi kya galti ki hai? What is my fault that I have to go through this?” she spoke through her sobs. Jerry went forward and hugged her, “Nothing. Calm down. It will be all right…” he muttered things to soothe her.

He broke the hug after she had calmed down a bit, but noticed some marks on her palms.

“Ye kya hai?” he was alarmed.

“Kuchh nahin,” she folded her finger to try and hide the marks.

“Dikhao mujhe. What is going on?” he forced her palm open again, “You have been beaten?”

She did not say anything.

“Ye fresh lag rahe hain. Kal kuchh hua tha?”

“Talk to me Chandrima. For God’s sake,” he shook her when she did not reply, “Is this their way of bringing you in line?”

“This is fate’s way of bringing me in line.”

“No. Fate, destiny never want anyone to be abused. What is going on?”

“They want to marry me off. I protested. So…”

“Marry you? How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“It’s illegal.”

“So, what do I do? Go to the police? Yahan ke thane ke in-charge meri Chachi ke bhai hain.”

“Oh my God!” Jerry felt hopeless and sank into his bed.

“Sir. Maine apni shart poori ki. Ab aapko bhi apni poori karni hogi. Please stay away from my affairs. It only makes things worse for me.” She turned away from him and walked towards the door. Jerry noticed more marks on her arms. How had he not noticed them earlier, he wondered. The beatings and abuse were clearly not a one-time thing.

His work was over. He was to leave the village the next day. He was uneasy.He came out of the room and went on a walk to a nearby grove – a rare sight in the dry village. He saw her sitting against a tree from behind.

“Chandrima.”

She did not respond. So, he walked closer. The sight was plain horror to him. She had cut her wrist. The blood-stained blade was lying nearby. She had lost consciousness.

He felt for her breath. She was alive, though sinking fast. He quickly tied her wrist with his handkerchief to contain the blood flow. He picked her up in his arms and rushed towards his room. He treated her and soon had her out of danger. Though the recovery would take time.

“Doctor Sahab,” he heard Sarpanch’s youngest son calling for him. He opened the door.

“Chanda jiji yahan hain kya? Ma unhein bula rahi hain.”

“Haan. Lekin usne…” he was about to tell him about her suicide attempt, but stopped himself because the boy was too young, “Uski tabiyat kharaab hai. Kissi bade ko bhejo yahan.”

“Kya hua?”

“Ma ya Papa ko bhejo yahan,” he repeated his instruction to the boy ignoring his question and shut the door.

She had just gained consciousness when Sarpanch and his wife walked into his room. He did not get a chance to talk to her.

“Kya hua hai?” Sarpanch asked and then looked at her bandaged wrists, “Kalai kaati thi tune?” He was enraged.

“Chal yahan se. Ghar par baat karte hain,” his wife told Chanda.

“Nahin,” Jerry intervened in a firm voice, “Abhi ye bahut kamzor hai. Yahin rahne dijiye.”

“Aapko taqleef karne ki zaroorat nahin hai Doctor Sahab. Hum nibat lenge…”

“Koi zaroorat nahin hai nibatne ki. Aap logon ki ye nibatne ki koshishon ne hi iski ye halat ki hai.”

“Kya kahna chahte hain aap?” Sarpanch asked sharply.

“Main aapse bahas nahin karna chahta. Lekin abhi ise yahin rahne dijiye.”

“Dekho doctor. Hamari ladki hai, hamare ghar ka maamla hai. Tum dakhal mat do.”

“Abhi ye meri patient hai. Aur iski welfare ke decisions mere hain.”

“Tum hadd se aage badh rahe ho. Ye hamari zimmedaari hai.”

“Zimmedaari! Bojh kahiye na Sarpanch ji. Bahut khushi se to nahin hi utha rahe hain aap ye zimmedaari.”

“Main khushi se uthaun ya dukh se, tum kya kar loge?”

“Main khushi se Chanda ki zimmedaari uthana chahta hoon. Main use apne saath le jaana chahta hoon.”

“Kya?” Sarpanch and his wife exclaimed in chorus. This was so unexpected that they could not respond for a moment.

“Ye nahin ho sakta,” Sarpanch spoke finally.

“Aapko kya problem hai?”

“Tumhari samajh mein kuchh aata hai ya nahin? Jawaan ladki hai. Kis haq se de dein tumhein? Byaah karoge kya isse? Nahin na? Phir? Yahan ye shahri chonchle nahin chalte…”

“Karoonga.”

“Kya?”

“Shaadi karoonga Chanda se. Aur le jaunga apne saath. Ab to koi problem nahin hai aapko?”

Sarpanch looked thoughtful. His wife nudged him, “Are isaai se shaadi kar doge kya? Kaisi baatein soch rahe ho. Uthao ise aur chalo yahan se…”

“Main isaai nahin hoon,” Jerry replied, “Jerry mera nickname hai. Matlab dost mujhe is naam se bulate hain. Mera naam Joravar Singh hai. Mera native place, matlab pushtaini gaon, Jaipur ke paas hai. Koi dikkat nahin hai is maamle mein.”

“Tum wakai isse shaadi karna chahte ho.”

“Haan. Lekin, main pahle usse kuchh baat karna chahta hoon. Akele mein.”

Sarpanch and his wife looked at each other, then nooded and went out of the room.

Chandrima was bewildered at all that had just passed in front of her and stared at Jerry. She did not speak a word.

Jerry went and sat beside her on the bed.

“I’m sorry. Unhein chup karwane ke liye mere paas koi aur raasta nahin tha. Lekin tumhein ghabraane ki koi zaroorat nahin hai. Pahli baat – tum yahan se mere saath tabhi chalogi, agar tumhari marzi hogi. Doosri ye shaadi waali baat serious nahin hai. I mean, we both know, it’s ridiculous. Tum waise bhi minor ho. Agar koi rituals hote bhi hain, to bhi ye shaadi legally valid nahin hogi. Bas yahan se tumhein nikaalne ka zariya hogi. Meri baat samajh rahi ho? No harm will come to you, trust me. Main bas ye chahta hoon ki tum mere saath Delhi chalo, apni padhai poori karo, saare sapne poore karo. Aur in sab mein tumhein support karne ki zimmedaari meri hogi. Main jaanta hoon ki main tumhein bahut bada faisla lene ko kah raha hoon. Aur iske liye tumhari health better honi chahiye thi, aur tumhein aur samay milna chahiye tha. Lekin unfortunately we don’t have that luxury. Isse pahle ki tumhare Chacha-Chachi wapas aayen, tumhein mujhe apna faisla batana hoga. Batao. Chalna chahti ho mere saath? Mere baare mein tum shayad zyada jaanti nahin ho…”

“Jaanti hoon. Maine aapke papers dekhe hain. Aap Apollo Hospital mein hain – pediatrician.”

“Haan. Mere ghar mein aur koi nahin hai. Mere parents ki death ho chuki hai. Mere main ghar se thoda alag, lekin same compound mein ek outhouse hai, jahan tum aaraam se rah sakti ho. Koi problem nahin hogi. Mera housekeeper bhi apni family ke saath usi compound mein rahta hai. Uski 9 saal ki ek beti hai. I’m sure tumhari achchhi jamegi. Batao. Chalna chahti ho mere saath?”

“Ji,” she gave her reply in a mono-syllable.

A simple ceremony was held the same night for their wedding and they took a bus out of the village the next morning. Chandrima was uncomfortably wrapped in a Saaree.

Jerry told her after they got down at the bus-stop in the nearest town, “Let’s buy you some comfortable clothes. Aur ye sindoor washroom mein ja kar pochh lo. No point in attracting any attention. Yahan kissi hotel mein ruk kar fresh ho lete hain. Then we will hire a taxi to Jaipur and will take a flight from there to Delhi.”

She bought a jeans and couple of tops, he booked separate rooms in the hotel for them there as well as in Jaipur. Next day they landed in Delhi. She was settled in the outhouse, introduced to the housekeeper and his family and Jerry drove her to a mall so that she could buy personal stuff she needed to settle in.

The new session at school started in a month. She enrolled in class 11th to continue her studies. She bonded very well with Nimita, the daughter of the housekeeper Hiralal and Jerry often saw them playing together after school. Chandrima was usually very serious and composed in his presence. But he got all the news about her from Nimita. What pranks she played on her teachers and friends, what games they played together, who were her best friends and how she was doing in her school. Those stories presented the picture of a usual, lively teenager, who liked to enjoy her life.

“Are you comfortable here Chandrima? If there are any issues, anything you need, you know you can tell me,” he asked her over breakfast on a Sunday morning. He did not have to go to hospital that day and hence they were having breakfast together.

“I am very happy,” there was no hesitation in her reply.

“That’s good to hear. Still… I don’t want to feel you like you are staying in a hostel or something. This is your home and I want you to have all the support a family can give. You must come to me, whenever you need to talk. About anything, school, bullying, boys, heart-breaks – whatever!”

She blushed at that and smiled shyly, “Sure.”

She talked to him more often after that. About her teachers, friends, school. She came to him when she won a competition or when the exam results came out. She took his help in preparing for medical entrance examination and discussed her options at length after the results came out.

Seven years later…

Jerry found Chandrima sitting in the hall of his house reading a magazine, when he came back from the hospital one saturday afternoon. She had completed her MBBS internship and was waiting for her PG entrance examination results. So, her days were free.

“Chandrima. Good that I found you here. Mujhe tumse kuchh baat karni thi,” he said.

“Aap thake hue honge, main kuchh laun aapke liye? Chai? Cold drink?”

“Nahin. Baitho. Hiralal le aayega.”

“Koi khaas baat hai?”

“Haan. Meri Mr. Mehra se baat ho rahi thi. You know, Rohan ke father.”

“Okay?” Jerry knew Mehras and Rohan had studied in the same college as Chandrima. He was three years senior to her and had just returned after his PG in UK. Rohan and Chandrima were good friends.

“How do you like Rohan? Or rather how do you two like each other?”

“Ye… aap… kyon poochh rahe… hain?” she stammered.

“Well… you can guess. Mr. Mehra thinks Rohan likes you very much and if you like him too, you should know you have my consent!” Jerry smiled.

But her reaction completely baffled him. Her eyes filled with tears and she bit her lower lips hard.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

She got up and ran away from there towards the outhouse.Jerry watched in astonishment and followed her after a while and found her in her bedroom.

“Are you scared of me?” he asked.

“No,” there was no hesitation in her reply.

“Kya maine kabhi tumhein kuchh aisa karne ke liye pressurize kiya hai jo tum nahin karna chahti thi?”

She nodded in negative.

“Phir tum aise kyon behave kar rahi ho? If you don’t like him, or if you have someone else in your life, or if you don’t want to get married for whatever reason, main tumhein force to nahin karoonga.”

“I know.”

“Phir kya problem hai?”

“Is this what you want though?”

“What?”

“For me to get married?”

“I just want you to be happy.”

She did not say anything.

“You are worrying me Chandrima. Come on, now. Tell me. Kya baat hai?”

“Kuchh nahin. Just…”

He suddenly noticed a saaree lying on her bed. Although he hadn’t seen it in so many years, he remembered it. It was the same saree in which she had left her native village seven years ago. He also saw some red powder, which looked like sindoor to him.

“What is that? Are you planning to run away with someone and get married?”

“What? What are you talking about? Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. May be the freedom you get here is not enough any longer? May be I am proving to be some tyrant in the name of a guardian?”

“Aise baat mat kijiye, please. Kya maine kabhi aapko disappoint kiya hai? Kuchh aisa kiya hai jisse aapko sharmindagi ho?” She had tears in her eyes again.

“Nahin. Nahin. Listen. Don’t cry. Mujhe Achchha nahin lagta tum pareshaan hoti ho to. Main mazaak kar raha tha. Lekin ye sab tumne kyon nikaal rakhe hain?”

“Woh… Nimita ko chahiye the. Uske school ke kissi function ke liye.”

“Itni purani Saaree? Use chahiye to uske liye nayi khareed do. Tumhare paas paise hain na?”

“Ji. Khareed doongi.”

“Aur suno. Mujhe nahin pata ki tumne kyon aise react kiya, aur I can see ki tum mujhe nahin batana chahti ho. Lekin main intezaar karoonga, jab tum khud aa kar mujhe bataogi, jo bhi tumhare man mein hai. Till then forget about anything I said that disturbs you. And please try to smile. Tumhein…” he paused before continuing, “Tumhein dukhi dekhta hoon to I feel like a loser. Tumhein rulane ke liye to wahan se nahin laaya tha main?”

“Main khush hoon. Main yahan… aapke saath bahut khush hoon.”

He nodded and left.

“Hiralal. Mera kamra saaf kyon nahin kiya?” Jerry had gone out for some work early morning on the next day which was a Sunday and was surprised to find his room unkempt when he came back in the afternoon.

Hiralal came running and it looked like he was totally clueless about it. Then he said in a shaky voice, “Lagta hai bhool gaya… Main abhi kar deta hoon.”

“Bhool gaye?” Jerry was incredulous, “Poora ghar saaf kiya aur mera kamra bhool gaye. Kaisi baatein kar rahe ho Hiralal. Khair jaldi karo.”

“Ji. Bas paanch minute.”

Jerry was going out of the room leaving Hiralal to clean it up when he notice him keeping the book he was reading on the table, “Ye book table par kyon rakh rahe ho? Jo book main padh raha hota hoon, woh hamesha side-table par rahti hai.”

“Ji… Ji…”

“Tumhari tabiyat to theek hai?” Jerry looked concerned.

“Ji Doctor Sahab, bilkul theek hai.”

Jerry shook his head in exasperation and walked out. When he came back a few minutes later he heard Hiralal talking to his daughter, “Nimita. Zara outhouse ja kar dekh Chadrima didi ki tabiyat to kharaab nahin hai.”

“Kya hua Chandrima ko?”

“Nahin. Bas aise hi. Aaj subah se dekha nahin to socha pata karwa loon.”

“Nashta nahin kiya usne?”

“Maine to nahin dekha.”

Jerry looked on curiously as Nimita went out to check on Chandrima. Then feeling something was off, he decided to join Nimita and went after her.

Instead of knocking at her room door, Nimita shouted her name from outside, as was her habit, “Chandrima didi.”

“Nimita. Achchha hua tu aa gayi. Zara meri help to kar, ye pleats theek karne mein…” Chandrima opened the door hastily, but froze as soon as she saw Jerry also standing there. Jerry himself was surprised to see her wearing the Saree he had seen on her bed yesterday. Her hair was tied tightly in a bun and the sindoor was clearly visible in the middle.

“Nimita. Tum jao abhi,” he ordered the girl and she left clearly feeling the tension in the air.

Jerry entered the room and closed the door behind him.

“Nimita ke school ke function mein tum perform kar rahi ho?” he asked her hardly able to conceal his anger.

“Aap gussa kyon ho rahe hain? Saaree nikali thi aur mera man hua to maine saaree pahan li. Ismein kya problem hai?”

He grabbed her arms and dragged her in front of the dresser. “Aur ye sindoor bhi bas tumhein lagane ka yun hi man ho gaya, right? Tumhari problem kya hai? Agar koi hai tumhari zindagi mein to tum mujhe batati kyon nahin? Yun chori chhipe kuchh karne ki kya zaroorat hai?”

Chandrima turned pale and was tongue-tied. She stared blankly at him.

Jerry completely lost his temper. He shook her violently as he shouted at her, “What the hell is wrong Chandrima? Aakhir aisa kya kiya hai maine ki tum mujh par itna bhi trust nahin karti? Kab tumhein apni zindagi jeene se roka hai maine? Kaun hai ye ladka? Kaun hai tumhari zindagi mein ki tumhein mujhse yun jhooth bolne ki zaroorat pad rahi hai? Mujhse chhipne ki zaroorat pad rahi hai? Aakhir tum mujhe kuchh batati kyon nahin ho?”

“You are hurting me,” Chandrima cried.

Jerry came to his senses and let her go. But his anger was not satiated.

“For once, I feel like hurting you,” he hissed, “And you know why? Because for the first time, I have been so hurt by someone… Forget it. You won’t understand. Just tell me. Who is the bastard?”

“Please,” Chandrima sank down on her knees and broke down, “Please don’t hurt yourself. I have never let you down. I never will. Aaapko mujh par gussa aa raha hai na? To aapko mujhe jo sazaa deni ho dijiye. Jaise mujh par gussa nikalna ho nikaliye. Meri zindagi aapki di hui hai. Aap meri jaan bhi lena chahein to le sakte hain. Lekin meri wajah se aapko koi pareshaani ho, ye main nahin dekh sakti.”

This softened Jerry. He tried to think of some explanation for her behaviour, “Are you in some trouble? Kya tumhein koi pareshaan ya blackmail kar raha hai?”

“Nahin.”

“Then tell me the name, for God’s sake Chandrima. Don’t try my patience. Kahan ja rahi thi tum?”

“Mandir.”

“Kyon?”

“Kyonki aaj seventh anniversary hai… hamari shaadi ki…”

“What?!” Jerry was crestfallen, “Kya kaha tumne?”

Instead of replying she started sobbing again.

“Tum us shaadi ko… Maine tumse kaha tha ki it didn’t mean anything. You were sixteen for God’s sake. It was illegal.”

“Not invalid, unless I ask for it. Lekin legality point nahin hai. Mujhe pata hai ki aap ise nahin maante hain, aur isliye main apko nahin batana chahti thi. Aapke oopar kuchhh thopne ka mera koi iraada nahin tha. Aap please bhool jaiye ye sab…”

“Tum ye kyon kar rahi ho? It makes no sense…”

Chandrima looked at him helplessly. “I am sorry,” she said sincerely, “I really am. Lekin…”

Jerry got up and walked out of her room. She threw herself on the bed and cried her heart out.

“Uncle,” Nimita came to his room. He was sitting on an armchair with his head buried in his hands.

“Nimita. Kuchh kaam tha?”

“Ji…” she hesitated for a moment. Jerry suddenly realized how grown up she was. Whem her father had first come to work for him, she was five years old. Her had promised Hiralal to take care of her education and upbringing. She was sixteen now. He was reminded that Chandrima was of the same age when he had met her seven years ago.

“Kya baat hai?”

“Aap Chandrima didi ko ghar se nikaal denge kya?”

“Ye tumse kisne kaha?”

“Woh khud hamesha kahti thi, ki agar aapko pata chala to…”

“Aur kya, kya bataya hai tumhein usne?”

“Na… nahin… kuchh bhi nahin,” she got nervous as she thought Jerry was angry.

“Baitho Nimita. Please help me.”

She gingerly sat down across him on a chair.

“You are old enough to understand everything, right?” he asked.

“I think so.”

“Tumhein pata hai ki Chandrima ke saath kya hua tha aur main use yahan kyon le kar aaya tha?”

“Ji.”

“Tumhein kya lagta hai, kya maine kuchh galat kiya tha?”

“Nahin. Bilkul nahin. Aap aisa kyon kah rahe hain?”

“Kyonki main tumhari madad maang raha hoon, isliye samajhna chahta hoon ki tumhara perspective kya hai.”

“Main kya madad kar sakti hoon.”

“Chandrima se sabse zyada close tum ho, right?”

“Haan.”

“Jab tum chhoti thi to mujhe uske baare mein sab kuchh bataya karti thi. Woh kya karti hai, kaise rahti hain, kya shararatein karti hai. Hai na?”

Nimita grew emotional as she nodded.

“Lekin phir… I think pichhle kuchh saalon se mujhe uske baare mein kuchh bhi nahin pata hai. college aur padhai ke alaawa. Shayad tum kuchh jaanti ho jo mujhe pata hona chahiye. Bataogi mujhe?”

“Mujhe nahin pata aap kya janna chahte hain. Lekin… woh aapko bahut maanti hain… Aaj aapka kamra isliye saaf nahin hua tha kyonki jab se woh yahan aayi hain, zidd kar ke aapka kamra hamesha woh khud saaf karti hain. Papa ko nahin karne deti. Aaj woh aayi nahin yahan – isliye Papa ko laga ki unki tabiyat to kharaab nahin hai. Aapke kapde bhi khud dhoti hain, dry cleaning mein bhi dene ho to khud dene jaati hain. Har saal aaj ke din mandir jaati hain. Aur aapke khilaaf mazaak mein bhi kuchh nahin sun sakti…”

“Kab se chal raha hai ye sab?” Jerry interrupted. He felt like he couldn’t hear more.

“Jab se woh yahan aayi hain.”

“Theek hai. Tum abhi jao.”

“Ji,” Nimita left, but stopped at the door, turned back and said, “Unhone aaj subah se kuchh nahin khaya hai. Woh mandir ja kar hi khaati hain, aaj ke din. Aur abhi bistar par padi ro rahi hain.”

“Main dekhta hoon,” Jerry replied calmly, but a storm was brewing inside him.

He took his car out, called on her mobile, asked her to come out and took her to the temple. He led her directly to the dining table, after coming back and forced her to eat her usual diet. Then he asked her to meet him in his room.

“Darwaza bhida do,” he told her when she came to his room.

“Baitho,” he indicated towards the chair on which Nimita had sat earlier in the day.

But she did not sit down, “I am sorry. Meri wajah se aap itne pareshaan ho rahe hain. Lekin… aapko is baare mein sochne ki koi zaroorat nahin hai. Main kuchh bhi aisa nahin karoogi jisse…”

“Baitho Chandrima,” he interrupted and insisted. She obeyed him, but remained on the edge of the chair.

“Har wo cheez,” he spoke again, “jisse tumhari zindagi ke faisle affect hote hain, uske baare mein sochne ki mujhe zaroorat hai. Tumhein pata hai, jab main tumse pahli baar mila tha to tumhari umra mujhse exactly aadhi thi.” He paused to see if she reacted, but she did not. He continued, “You were a kid back then. And very vulnerable. Helpless. Main tumhein apne saath laaya and you saw me as a savior, a hero perhaps. But you must get over it. Your life can’t be stuck on me Chandrima. You have to live your life and someone sixteen years older to you can’t be the right life partner for you. I am not asking you to get married right away or anything like that. But, you have to outgrow this hero-worshipping. You must. This is not healthy.”

“Maine aapko kaha na. Agar aap chahein to meri jaan le sakte hain. My life belongs to you, lekin meri feelings ko insult karne ka aapko bhi koi haq nahin hai.”

“Meri baat samajhne ki koshish karo Chandrima… Main koi insult nahin kar raha hoon…”

“Your parents were separated when you were young. So, you have a commitment-phobia. You can’t form close relationships; that is difficult for you to do. Although aapke friends bahut hain. You smoke a lot, but you are extremely conscious of your image as a doctor. You don’t want to be a bad role-model for anyone around you, including me or Nimita. So, you always smoke secretly.And… I know you too well to hero-worship you. And I am no longer the vulnerable, helpless child. I am not half your age either.”

She had manage to disorient him by spewing out one thing about him after another. But he gathered himself together and smiled slightly, “So, you are well prepared to be a good psychiatrist, I can see that. And yes – you are not half my age now. I am not growing at twice the rate than you are. But…”

“To you I am still the vulnerable, helpless child?”

“I hope not. Agar aisa hua to, I would have failed miserably.”

“You haven’t.”

“Tum kya chahti ho? You want to spend your life with an old, commitment-phobic man with smoking problem.”

“Main woh karoongi, jo aap chahte hain.”

“Lekin tum kya chahti ho? Main tumse ye poochh raha hoon.”

“Main bas kuchh aur bol kar aap ko dukhi aur pareshaan nahin karna chahti hoon. I think mujhe chalna chahiye.”

“Nahin Chandrima. Bhaago mat mere sawaalon se. Jawaab do.”

“Main aapka saath dena chahti hoon, jaise ki aapne mera diya hai. Aapke akelepan ko door karna chahti hoon. Aapko khush rakhna chahti hoon. Lekin irony ye hai ki mera ye chahna hi aapko dukhi kar raha hai. To agar aap meri chahat poori karna chahte hain, to uska ek-matra tareeka ye hai ki aap bhool jayen in sab ke baare mein.”

After that she did not wait for his permission and left the room.

“Kahan the aap do dinon se?” Chandrima shouted on Jerry when she saw him entering the house.

“Main andar aa jaun pahle?”

“Aap itni irresponsible harquat kaise kar sakte hain? Kissi ko to bata kar jaana tha. Phone bhi off tha. Aapke saare friends ko phone kiya humne. Sab ghabraye hue hain. Hum police ke paas jaane waale the. Lekin thankfully hospital se pata chala ki aap leave le kar gaye hain. Yahan Nimita ne ro-ro kar apne bura haal kar rakha hai, school bhi nahin ja rahi…”

“Aur tum?”

“Aur main? Kya sunna chahte hain aap mere baare mein? Ye kya aapka tareeka tha mujhse sazaa dene ka? Mujhe jeete-jee guilt se maarne ka? Soch kya rahe the aap?”

“Andar chalo. Batato hoon.”

Still furious, she followed him to his room.

“Main ye soch raha tha,” he said and paused before continuing, “ki mera kamra theek karne ki Hiralal ki aadat chhoot gayi hai. Woh kitabein, papers, medicines, sab galat jagah par rakh deta hai.To agar ye kaam tum kar deti, to meri life phir se aasaan ho jati.”

“Ji?”

“Karogi?”

Chandrima was confused at first, then extremely happy. She almost had tears in her eyes and she bit her lips to stop herself from smiling too broadly.

“Ji. Aap fresh ho jaiye. Main Nimita ko bata doon, phir kar deti hoon.”

She sprang out of the room and Jerry smiled after her.

“Come in,” Jerry said on hearing a knock at his door.

“Aap chai piyenge?” she had already brought the tea.

“Yeah. Aao. Baitho.”

She handed him a cup and sat down on a chair.

Jerry noticed that she was trying hard to stop herself from breaking into a blushing smile in his presence.

“Aap kahan gaye the? Aur kyon?” she asked.

“Kuchh plan kar ke nahin gaya tha. Zyada door bhi nahin gaya tha. Ourskrits par ek resort mein check-in kiya tha.”

“Lekin aise kyon chale gaye the aap? Meri wajah se?”

“Apni wajah se. Main bahut zyada confuse ho gaya tha. Maine suljhane ki koshish ki, apni uljhanon ko. Lekin… Yahan rah kar, sab logon ke beech, patients, colleagues, friends… apne man ke andar jhaankne ka mauka milta hi nahin hai. Isliye maine hospital se leave li aur nikal gaya. I needed some me-time.”

“Aur kya pata chala aapko apne me-time mein?”

Chandrima’s face fell at what he said next, “Confusions khatam nahin hue mere, Chandrima. Mujhe abhi bhi nahin pata hai ki tumhari feelings… sahi hain ya nahin.” She averted her eyes. But the same eyes shone, when he added, “Lekin apne baare mein main itna jaan gaya hoon ki mujhe tumhari aadat ho gayi hai. Kabhi acknowledge nahin kiya maine, kyonki kabhi is baare mein socha nahin. Lekin in do dinon mein hi mahsoos hua ki tum meri day to day life ka kitna bada hisaa ho. Aur tumhare mere saath hone ki wajah se meri transitory relationships, lack of meaningful friends – in sab cheezon se mujhe pareshaani nahin hoti. I would hate to lose you Chandrima. Lekin isse zyada main abhi kuchh promise nahin kar sakta…”

“Isse zyada aapko kuchh bhi karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Aap mujhse naaraaz nahin hain, meri wajah se pareshaan nahin hain, mujhe aur kuchh nahin chahiye. Nahin – actually ek cheez chahiye. Aapko mere liye apni zindagi rokne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Lekin please, please mujhe kabhi kissi se shaadi karne ko mat kahiyega. Agar meri wajah se aapko koi problem hui to aap bas mujhe bol dijiyega – main chali jaungi aapki zindagi se. Lekin us raaste se nahin…”

“Tum kahin nahin jaogi. Chai piyo apni,” Jerry said most casually, making her smile.

“Aur haan,” he spoke suddenly after a while.

“Ji?”

“Agar tumhein Saree pahanna ka shauk ho, to please ek nayi khareed lena. Woh bahut purani ho gayi hai and it looks really cheap.”

Chandrima laughed slightly, “Ji. Khareed loongi.”

Chandrima was a different person from that day onwards in Jerry’s presence. She was more like the girl from the stories Nimita used to tell him about her. She seemed to be almost dancing around when she walked, she joined him for breakfast and meals, whenever he was at home, talked about her day to day affair more often and most surprising of all, she had started taking liberties with him and would even boss him around. If one day he found the curtains of his rooms changed, then on the other a flower pot had appeared there.

“Hiralal. Sabzi mein namak kam hai,” he told the housekeeper during dinner once.

“Maine kaha tha kam daalne ko.”

“Kyon?”

“Aapke last 5 check-ups mein aapka BP badhta ja raha hai. And prevention is better than cure.”

“Lekin – this is taste-less.”

“Aadat pad jayegi. Main bhi wahi kha rahi hoon. Aapko akele nahin diya hai.”

At another time she handed him a small bag from a chemist’s shop.

“Ye kya hai?”

“Nicotine patches.”

“What?”

“Aap smoking chhodna chahte hain, right?”

“Mujhse nahin hoga, Chandrima.”

“Of course, hoga. Main hoon na karwane ke liye.”

Her attire at home had also changed. Jerry noticed that she was wearing salwaar-kameez more often than jeans and skirts that she usually preferred. And she looked a lot more grown up in the Indian attire, he could not help observing.

“Tumhara result aa gaya?” Jerry walked into her room. He had come straight from the hospital and hadn’t even kept his bag in his room. Her PG entrance results were expected that day.

“12 baje website par daalenge woh log.”

“5 minute bache hain…”

“Main pichhle ek ghante se refresh kar rahi hoon. Ki kahin pahle daal dein.”

“Relax. Tumne bahut mehnat ki hai…”

“Aa gaya…”

“Kya?” Jerry also leaned in front of the computer. The page took a few seconds to load. Chandrima literally jumped on seeing her rank. She would easily get admission in the college and discipline of her choice.

“Oh my God… Thank God… I am so happy…” In her excitement, she suddenly jumped on Jerry and hugged him. He was taken by surprise; so he stumbled a bit and did not reciprocate. Chandrima realized what she had done in her excitement and stepped back looking embarrassed.

“Didi,” it was Nimita’s voice they heard before they could say anything to each other. As they tried to make the expressions on their faces normal, Nimita barged in, “Result aa gaya?”

“Haan Nimita,” Chandrima hugged her and said, “Aa gaya aur aisa aaya ki tujhe teri treat bhi milegi.”

“Sach? To aapko apni pasand ki branch mein admission mil jayega.”

“Yesss!” she could not hide her excitement.

“Congratulations Chandrima,” Jerry finally said.

“Thank you,” she said and lowered her eyes, as she remembered her audacious act for a few moments before.

“Main chalta hoon,” he said and walked out.

“Uncle?”

“Yes Nimita.”

“Chandrima didi mujhe aaj raat treat de rahi hain. Aap bhi hamare saath chalenge?”

“Main? Main kya karoonga… Tum log jao, enjoy karo.”

“Please chaliye na. Agar unhone kanjoosi ki to paise to aapko hi dene padenhe na. Please, please chaliye.”

Jerry thought for a moment, then agreed, “Theek hai. Chalte hain.”

The restaurant they went to was in a mall. While coming back after dinner, Jerry suddenly stopped in front of a store.

“Kya hua?” Chandrima asked.

“Ye dress…” he pointed towards a white salwaar-kameez put up in the show-case of a store. It had a thin golden border, and white thread work on body, “kaisi lag rahi hai tumhein?”

“Achchhi hai. Kyon?”

“To try kar ke dekho. Agar sahi aaye to khareed lo.”

“Ji?”

“Ab tumne itna achchha perform kiya exam mein. Koi gift to milna chahiye tumhein.”

Chandrima looked from Jerry to Nimita and back not knowing what to do.

Nimita grinned, “Chaliye na didi. Pay aap karenge na Uncle? Inki pocket-money to nahin kharch hogi.”

“Nahin,” Jerry smiled, “Main pay karoonga. Aur Nimita. Tumhein bhi kuchh pasand aaye to le lo.”

Nimita dragged Chandrima in.

After returning home, Chandrima kept caressing and hugging the dress till late at night. She was unable to sleep.

“Kya baat hai? Itna elaborate khaana kyon ban raha hai, Kaka?” Chandrima asked Hiralal. She had come to the ktichen to get some snacks for herself having just returned after her classes and ward duties.

“Doctor Sahab ka phone aaya tha. Unki koi colleague khane par aa rah hain.”

“Oh! Kaun?”

“Shayad nayi aayi hain hospital mein. Mujhe zyada pata nahin.”

“Achchha.”

Chandrima was introduced to Dr. Meera Joshi during dinner. She had recently joined Jerry’s hospital and was still settling down in a new city and job.

“And this is Dr. Chandrima Rathore,” Jerry gave her introduction, “Currently doing her PG. Specializing in Psychiatry.” He explained her presence with him by her being a tenant of his outhouse, as he had done with most of his friends, colleagues and acquaintances. But for some reason the introduction as tenant made Chandrima uncomfortable that day. She fidgeted and Jerry noticed it as well. She tried to deny it to herself, but even Meera’s presence was bothering her. Jealousy? She wondered, but tried to shake the feelings off. Jerry was observing her more closely than she was aware.

Unable to sleep at night, she decided to take a walk in the lawn. Before going out, on an urge, she changed into the white salwaar-kameez Jerry had bought for her a couple of months back. While walking she was startled by somebody calling her from behind.

“Kaun hai?” she cried in fear.

“Hush. Main hoon. Dar kyon rahi ho?” It was Jerry to her relief.

“Sorry. Main… I didn’t expect you.”

“Ye dress… Bahut achchhi lag rahi hai tum par.”

“Ji?” she was surprised by the sudden complement, but replied calmly after that, “Thank you.”

“Aise akele raat mein kyon pahni hai. Kabhi din mein pahan kar nahin dikhayi.”

“Bas… Aise hi… Kabhi koi mauka hi nahin tha.”

“Waise ab tak soyi nahin?”

“Neend nahin aa rahi thi.”

“Kyon?”

“Pata nahin. Aapko kyon nahin aayi?”

“Kyonki main kuchh soch raha tha… Tumhare baare mein…”

“Mere baare mein? Kya?”

“Chandrima. About Dr. Meera. I wanted to tell you ki woh mere ek friend ki sister hain. Shahar mein nayi hain, aur mere friend ne mujhe unki help karne ko kaha. Bas isliye maine unhein yahan invite kar liya tha…”

“Aap ye sab mujhe kyon explain kar rahe hain?”

“I could see ki tumhein bura laga…”

“Ye aapka ghar hai. Aap jise chahein la sakte hain. Main kyon bura maanoongi,” she said, but her tone showed that she was not speaking with conviction. Also, she could not meet his eyes while saying all this.

“Aisa hai to nazarein mila kar kyon nahin kah rahi ye baat?”

“Aap baal ki khaal nikaal rahe hain…”

“Really?”

“Mujhe koi haq nahin hai bura mahsoos karne ka. Ye baat hum dono jaante hain. Phir ye conversation kyon ho raha hai hamare beech?”

“Kyonki mujhe realize ho gaya hai ki mere indecision se tumhein kitni taqleef ho rahi hogi. And I wanted to apologize…”

“Aap kyon pareshaan ho rahe hain phir se? Meri life bilkul perfect hai. Main aapke kissi decision ka intezaar nahin kar rahi hoon. Aapko pata hai na ki main aapke saamne decision lene ka koi mauka aane hi nahin dena chahti thi. Bas haalaat hi kuchh aise ho gaye ki…”

“Ki Bhagwaan ne mere jaise commitment-phobic insaan ke liye ek itni committed ladki bhej di.”

Chandrima stared at him wide-eyed.

“I am sorry. I am sorry, Chandrima. Itne saalon se tumehin aur tumhari feelings ko na samajh paane ke liye. In fact, tumhare liye even apni feelings ko na samajh paane ke liye. Maine kabhi hamare rishte ko koi naam dene ki koshish nahin ki, zaroorat nahin samjhi. Kabhi mahsoos hi nahin kiya ki tumhari wajah se, I always had someone to come back home to, even if only to ask how was your day or how were your studies progressing. I just took you and your presence for granted. Because you were always there for me. Unconditionally. I never had to do anything for you. All these years of neglect, ignoring, taking as granted… Aur phir jab reality mere saamne aayi, jab mujhe khud se kuchh difficult questions poochhne pade, then I was indecisive. Pahle to it was about you and me. Is it right for us? Lekin jab maine sirf apne dil ki baat sun kar, in sab sawaalon ko ignore karne ki soch bhi li, tab bhi ek doosra sawaal mere saamne uth khada hua. Log kya kahenge? Everyone who has seen you under this roof, all these years. Aur isliye apne man ki baat, tumhare man ki baat pata hone ke bawjood maine kuchh kiya nahin.”

“Bas kijiye,” Chandrima was teary-eyed, “Aap baar-baar ye kyon kah rahe hain ki aapne mere liye kuchh kiya nahin. Agar Daddy bhi hote to shayad mere liye utna nahin karte jitna aapne kiya. Ho sakta hai ki jis din maine apni wrist kaati thi, us din mujhe aapki jagah koi aur marne se bacha leta. Lekin shareer ko bachane se kya hota. Meri to spirit mar gayi thi, hopes mar gayi thi. Mujhe sirf physically nahin, mentally aur emotionally bhi aapne dubara zinda kiya hai. Meri saari zimmedaariyan uthayi. Aur aapke itna sab kuchh karne ke baad agar sirf mere aapke aas-paas rahne se aapko zara bhi achchha lagta hai, aapka akelapan thoda bhi door hota hai, to meri to zindagi safal ho gayi. Aapko mere liye aur kuchh bhi karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Logon ke koi sawaal face karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Main yahin hoon, aur marte dum tak yahin rahungi. Aapko kuchh karne ki zaroorat nahin hai…”

“Tumhare liye nahin hai zaroorat shayad. Mere liye hai. Allow me Chandrima. To make it right in the future and to try and make up for all these years.”

“Main sapna dekh rahi hoon, right?”

Jerry smiled, came forward and drew her in his arms.

“Agar ye sapna hai,” he said, as their arms tightened around each other, “To main ise kabhi tootne nahin doonga.”

– The End –