Sacrifices (Part 9)
Mallika had resented Nidhi all these days. Why shouldn’t she? It had taken Nidhi barely couple of months to win Ashutosh’ heart. Ashutosh? Dr. Ashutosh? Dr. Hardstone? Win that Dr. Ashuotsh’ heart? And win it with such ease as if he wore his heart on his sleeves. He didn’t. Who knew better than Mallika? She had been trying to occupy some little corner in that heart for years now. But it was untouchable. Securely locked away in some dark, unreachable corner. At least, until now, he hadn’t accepted it. But today even that little façade had broken down. He had accepted his feelings for Nidhi. She had, expectedly, felt bitter.
But surprise had quickly overshadowed bitterness. He had said they weren’t going to be together. Ashutosh was unquestionably heart-broken by this. Yet he claimed that the decision was his own. Why? He definitely did not care about wagging tongues. That was a danger she had tried to impress upon him so many times, but he had always rebuffed her. In that maddening polite manner of his. There had been times when Mallika had thought that Ashutosh and Nidhi were drifting apart. But they always came back togther. Then why this decision now? Was it Nidhi’s doing then? Had she suddenly realized the monstrosity of the idea? Her and Ashutosh?
—
“Dr. Nidhi!” Mallika found her in the common room.
“Ji?” Nidhi braced herself for some jabbing. After all, Mallika had found her in Ashutosh’ office earlier. And in a state that would be questionable in her mind.
“Mujhe aapse kuchh baat karni thi.”
“Boliye,” Nidhi’s attitude was defiant already.
“Yahan nahin. Let’s go to the terrace.”
“Kyon?”
“Please, Dr. Nidhi. Important hai,” Mallika’s pleading took Nidhi was surprised. She wasn’t going to play her seniority card as usual? Driven more by her curiosity and surprise, than any genuine wish to humour her, Nidhi followed Mallika to the terrace.
“Ab aapko kya shikayat hai mujhse, Dr. Mallika?” Nidhi just wanted to get over with it. She didn’t want to hear Malllika beating around the bush.
“Tum aakhir chahti kya ho Nidhi? Pahle to tumne na logon ka khayaal kiya, na hi meri suni aur Ashutosh ke kareeb aa gayi. Aur aaj… aaj jab woh tumse itna pyaar karne lage hain to phir tum unhein chhod kar kyon jaana chahti ho?”
Nidhi shook her head in confusion, “Aapko kisne kya bataya hai jo aap ye sawaal poochh rahi hain? Kya hua hai, ye aapko maloon bhi hai?”
“Agar tum Ashutosh ki zindagi se ja rahi ho to iska matlab aur kya ho sakta hai? Is stage par, ye Ashutosh ka faisla to nahin ho sakta hai? Ab to woh hichakte bhi nahin hain tum dono ka rishta accept karne mein?”
“Dr. Mallika. Pata hai aapki problem kya hai? Aap Dr. Ashutosh ko jaanti ho hain, lekin kabhi samajh nahin payi. Theek usi tarah jaise ki main aapko jaanti to hoon, lekin samajh nahin pati. Jo bhi wajah ho, agar main Dr. Ashutosh ki zindagi se ja rahi hoon, to aapko to khush hona chahiye. Aap yahi to chahti thi. Phir aap mujhse ye sawaal-jawaab kyon kar rahi hain?”
“Jab maine Ashutosh ko itna samjhaya tha, tab to usne meri ek nahin suni. Na hi tumne suni. To ab aisa kya ho gaya?”
Nidhi sighed, “Agar jaanne se aapko shanti milti hai to jaan lijiye, Dr. Mallika. Aapne jo mujhe warning di thi, who sahi thi. Log is rishte ko accept nahin karenge. Aur unmein se kuchh log aise hain jo matter karte hain.”
“Kaun?”
“Mere Baba.”
“Oh!” Mallika remarked bitterly, “To is naa-manzoori ke baad Ahustosh ne tumhara saath nahin diya, ya tumne uska saath chhod diya?”
“Phir galti kar di na aapne samajhne mein Dr. Mallika. Mujhe bhi, aur Dr. Ashutosh ko bhi. Hum dono ek-doosre ka saath de rahe hain. Isliye to ye faisla kiya hai. Khair. Main chalti hoon. Kuchh dinon ki hi baat hai ab bas. Phir main yahan nahin rahungi. Agar aapko lagta hai ki meri wajah se aapse kuchh chhin raha tha to woh shikayat ab aapko nahin rahegi. Aur mera yakeen maaniye, Dr. Mallika, ki agar aap Dr. Ashutosh ki zindagi mein woh khushiyan la sakti hain, jinke woh haqdaar hain, to mujhse zyada khush aur koi nahin hoga. Lekin… uske liye aapko unhein samajhna padega.”
Nidhi left a thoughtful Mallika behind.
—
Mallika was alone in the common room, sipping a cup of tea, when Rangnath walked in.
“Ye kaise ho gaya, Dr. Mallika? Aap akeli baithi hain. Aapke admirers ki queue kahan gayi?” he teased.
“Aapko dekh kar bhaag gayi.”
“Kya baat kar rahi hain? Hamari aisi kismat kahan? Waise akele-akele soch kya rahi hain aap?”
“Agar main kuchh sochne layak soch rahi thi, to aapko lagta hai ki aapko batana achchha idea hai?”
“Yahi to problem hai na, Dr. Mallika. Aap kissi aur ko mauka hi nahin deti.”
“Koi kaise decide karta hai ki kisko mauka dena hai, kisko nahin?”
“Jahan tak muhje maaloon hai, iski koi exact diagnosis to nahin hoti, koi prescription bhi nahin hai. Bas dil ki aawaaz sunni padti hai.”
“Aur agar jiske liye aapka dil aawaaz lagaye, uske dil mein aapke liye koi jagah na ho to?”
“To phir live-happily-every-after ki jagah aapko shaayar banna padta hai. Aapne suna hai – Viyogi hoga pahla kavi, aah se nikla hoga gaan…”
“Suna to nahin tha ab tak, lekin samajh mein aa raha hai.”
“Bas uski hi zaroorat hai. Lekin “tu nahin aur sahi” to suna hoga. Woh bhi achchha jumla hai.”
Mallika laughed. But it was a sad laughter.
Just then Ashutosh and Nidhi walked into the room. Mallika noticed that they sitffened on seeing her there.
“Aao Ashutosh, Dr. Nidhi. Dr. Rangnath mujhe life ki philosophy samjha rahe the. Aap log bhi join kijiye,” Mallika’t tone was genuine, friendly and pleasant. Nidhi and Ashutosh were surprised, and a little suspicious. Was it going to followed by some jab? But Ashutosh smiled sweetly at Mallika and sat down across the sofa.
“Aap chai lenge ya coffee?” Nidhi asked him.
“Coffee. Thanks Nidhi.”
Nidhi went to the dispensing machine to get their drinks.
“Dr. Rangnath ki philosophy to kaafee rangeen hogi, Mallika. Hum log uska kya karenge?”Ashutosh continued the conversation.
“Sir. Kya chauka maara aapne aate hi! Ek hi sentence mein mujhe duniya ka sabse useless insaan saabit kar diya.”
Ashutosh laughed, “Useful aur useless context mein hote hain, Dr. Rangnath. Ab aapka jo charm patients ki beemaari nahin theek kar sakta, woh aapko ek able administrator banne mein help to karta hi hai.”
“Pata nahin aapne ek doctor ki burai ki ya ek administrator ki tareef ki. Lekin chaliye. Main taareef hi maan kar khush ho leta hoon.”
Nidhi’s mobile rang. She disconnected it and gave Ashutosh his coffee, “Main chalti hoon, Sir. Anji mujhe pickup karne aa gayi hai.”
“All right.”
“Good night, Sir. Good night Dr. Mallika, Dr. Rangnath.”
“Main aapko darwaze tak pahuncha kar aata hoon,” Rangnath said eagerly.
“Mujhe? Dr. Rangnath, aap theek to hain? Main is hospital mein almost ek saal se kaam kar rahi hoon.”
“To kya hua? Chivalry naam ki koi cheez hoti hai ki nahin?”
Nidhi, Ashutosh and Mallika looked at each other with knowing smiles. Then Nidhi burst out laughing. “Main samajh gayi, aapki chivalry kiske liye chhalak rahi hai. Chaliye. Lekin kuchh aisa mat kijiyega ki use gussa aa jaye. Main apni evening kharaab nahin karna chahti.”
“Kaise bahki-bahki baatein kar rahi hain aap, Dr. Nidhi. Chaliye to sahi.”
Ashutosh and Mallika laughed out loud after they had left.
“Dr. Rangnath incorrigible hain,” Mallika said.
“I know,” Ashutosh replied and looked at Mallika curiously.
“Kya hua? Aise kya dekh rahe ho?”
“Pata nahin. Kuchh different behave kar rahi ho aaj.”
“Change is the only constant, Ashutosh.”
“Yeah. Aur mujhe ye feel ho raha hai ki it is for good.”
“Shayad.”
“Great. Chalo – main chalta hoon. Kal subah jaldi aana hai. Tum nikal rahi ho?”
“Nahin. Meri night duty hai.”
“Okay. Bye Mallika.”
“Bye Ashutosh.”
—
Ashutosh smiled as he sat in his car. Nidhi had told him about her conversation with Mallika. They had been unable to understand Mallika’s intent behind questioning Nidhi. But now he was hopeful. The mature calmness with which she had behaved in the common room gave him hope. She might just have been happy about Nidhi’s imminent departure from Ashutosh’ life. But Ashutosh had a feeling that it was different. That Mallika was leaving her obsession and self-centred world-view behind. And she was looking at things as they were, not as she wanted them to be. If that was indeed the case, it would save her from further heartaches. Nidhi had finally managed to affect even Mallika positively! If Nidhi were around, he would have liked to pull her in a tight hug. Good that she wasn’t.
—
To be continued