Mish' Fiction

Ashutosh was happy. Being in love and knowing that his love was respected and reciprocated was enough to elate him. The future worries could be kept aside. At least for the time being. Happiness could go away. But today he didn’t want to be bothered about that. Today he wanted to be happy. He called Kaka.

“Kya baat hai beta.”

“Kaka – ye phool…” he pointed towards the bouquet Nidhi had brought.

Kaka sighed. He thought he would again have to throw them away.

“Inhein ek flower vase mein daal dijiye. Paani dal kar, taki murjhayen nahin jaldi,” Ashutosh surprised Kaka with his request. But it was a pleasant surprise. Kaka went out of the room grinning.

Rahul and her mother Rohini, whom Ashutosh had given the job of cook at his house, were there in the hall. Rohini saw Kaka and asked, “Kya baat hai Kaka? Bahut khush lag rahe hain?”

“Khush hone ki to baat hi hai. Aaj pata nahin kitne dinon baad Ashutosh ne phool phenke nahin, balki unhein phooldaan mein lagane ko kaha, taki murjhaye nahin.”

“Ye to wahi phool hain jo Dr. Nidhi le kar aayi thi.”

“Dr. Nidhi?”

“Haan. Woh Dr. Ashutosh ke saath kaam karti hain na aspataal mein.”

“Achchha! Phir to use aksar ghar bulana padega.”

—

Ashutosh took out some old records of Ghazals. He tried to play one of them, but it got stuck. He thought for a moment, then called Nidhi up, “Dr. Nidhi. Aapne kaha tha na ki aapne apni Mummy ka collection digitize kar rakha hai.”

“Ji.”

“Aap mujhe CDs par de sakti hain.”

“Zaroor. Main le aaungi.”

“Aapko pareshaan hone ki zaroorat nahin hai. Aap hospital se kissi ke haathon bhijwa sakti hain.”

“Kya main aapse milne nahin aa sakti aapke ghar?”

Damn! He had hurt her. “Nahin Nidhi. Mera aisa koi matlab nahin tha.”

“Phir main aa rahi hoon,” she gave her decision and disconnected the call.

Wow! She was ordering him around. Ashutosh laughed out loud.

“Confirmed!” Armaan walked into his room.

“Kya confirmed?” Ashutosh was surprised, but was still laughing.

“Ki pyaar mein achchhe achchhe pagal ho jaate hain. Akele mein baithe baithe kyon hans rahe ho dost?”

“Aise hi Armaan. Kuchh funny si baat yaad aa gayi thi. Tumhein aaj jaana nahin hai kaam par?”

“Nahin. Aaj maine apni chhutti kar rakhi hai. Socha ki aise to tum milte nahin ho. Beemaari ke bahane ghar par ho to thoda time bitaya jaye.”

“Achchha socha tumne.”

—

“Ji aap?” Hiraman Kaka opened the door in the evening.

“Main Nidhi. Dr. Ashutosh ke under kaam karti hoon. Unse milna hai.”

“Oh Dr. Nidhi? Aaiye na. Main abhi Ashutosh ko batata hoon.”

“Nahin, nahin. Aap mat bataiye. Main unhein surprise deti hoon. Woh mujhe abhi expect nahin kar rahe honge.”

“Theek hai,” her bubbliness and infectious smile warmed Kaka’s heart too.

—

“Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi peeped in standing at his bedroom door. Armaan and Ashutosh were there in the room.

“Dr. Nidhi. Aap? Is waqt?” Ashutosh was really surprised.

“May I come in?”

“Haan. Haan. Aaiye na.”

“Aapke kamre mein CD player hai?”

“Nahin to. Kyon?”

“Achcha aapka laptop to hoga?”

“Haan.”

“Dijiye mujhe,” Nidhi took the laptop and started inserting a CD into it.

“Ye CD?”

“Jo aapne mangwayi thi.”

“Lekin maine to aaj hi din mein aapse kaha tha. Aapne CD kab bana li?”

“CD to bahut pahle se bana rakhi thi. Lekin aapne kabhi maangi hi nahin.”

Ashutosh looked at Armaan in surprise. Armaan was giving him an amused smile.

None of them said anything while Nidhi inserted the CD, opened the media player and started playing the songs. She adjusted the volume so that it could play in the background and they could talk.

“Haan. Ab bataiye. Aapki tabiyat kaisi hai?”

“Subah hi to aap dekh kar gayi thi?”

“Dr. Armaan. Aap kaise hain?” Nidhi was completely at home, Ashutosh thought and smiled inwardly.

“Main badhiya hoon Dr. Nidhi. Ashutosh ke saath main bhi chhutti maar raha hoon.”

“Aap inke dost hain aur agar aap bhi inki tarah hi kaam karte hain to chhutti maarne ka poora haq hai aapko.”

Armaaan laughed, “Nahin, nahin Dr. Nidhi. Ashutosh ki tarah koi aur kaam nahin kar sakta.”

“Waise Sir. Ye flower vase kis zamane ka hai? Ek to itna crude aur showy design hai, us par se ganda sa ho rakha hai,” Nidhi pointed towards the vase holding the flowers she had brought in the morning.

Ashutoh was speechless for a moment. For the first time he realized what her Baba had meant when he had said that she is “betakalluf”. Armaan’s chuckle made him realize that he was staring at Nidhi in shock.

“Haan… Woh… Dr. Nidhi. Darasal kaafee dinon se ghar mein flower vase use nahin hua tha. To jo purana pada tha Kaka ne wahi nikaal diya.”

“Phir to naya khareedne ki zaroorat hai. Waise aapke kamre ke parde bhi bahut dull se hain. Inhein badal denge to aap jaldi theek ho jayenge,” Nidhi went towards the window.

Ashutosh was so taken aback that he didn’t know how to react. Armaan laughed out loud and said, “Aap log home redecoration ke plan banaiye. Main thodee der kuchh kaam nibta loon.” He left the room.

Ashutosh relaxed once he was left with her alone. Now, he could enjoy her antics without being conscious of anyone else’s reaction.

“To aur kya kya badalne ka plan kar liya aapne meri zindagi mein?” he asked Nidhi, “Waise main khud bhi kaafii dull insaan hoon.”

It was Nidhi’s turn to be embarrassed. She figured that she was being too imposing, “I… I am sorry.”

“Sorry?” Ashutosh smiled, “Us din is sawaal ka jawaab nahin diya tha tumne. Ye formalities zaroori hain kya?”

All the nervousness that she hadn’t felt all these days, not even since the morning when she had overheard Ashutosh’ conversation with Armaan, suddenly enveloped hai.

Her face flushed and she stammered, “Pa… Pata nahin. Main… Main chalti hoon.”

“Thodi der ruk jao Nidhi,” his heavy, intimate voice stopped her, “Baitho yahan,” he indicated to the edge of the bed.

Nidhi walked to the bed and sat there gingerly.

“Itna ghabra kyon gayi achanak?”

“Aisa kuchh nahin hai,” she said, but her voice said otherwise.

“Nidhi. Tumhein mujhse ya apni feelings se ghabrane ki koi zaroorat nahin hai.”

“Main samjhi nahin.”

“Achchha. Sach, sach batao. Kya tum mujhe lekar confusion, insecurity, uncertainty nahin feel karti?”

She nodded.

“Main bhi feel karta hoon. Aur ye feelings jaate-jaate hi jayengi. Samay lagega. Tab tak tumhari koi obligation nahin hai, tumhein koi decision nahin lena hai. Explore these feelings aur jab confusions sort out ho jayen, tab decide karna.”

“Aur aap?”

“Mujhe bas ye assurance chahiye ki tumne soch samajh kar, apne future ke liye sahi decision liya hai. Koi jaldbaazi nahin ki hai. Phir jo bhi tumhara decision hoga, usmein main tumhare saath rahunga.”

Nidhi was overwhelmed. She wanted to tell him her decision right there. If she had someone who cared so much for her, what decision could she take? But she did not say anything. He needed the assurance that she had decided it with cool mind. And she would give him that assurance.

She nodded and asked innocently, “To kya main ye ghastly vase change kar sakti hoon?”

Ashutosh laughed out loud, “Haan. Tum jo chahe kar sakti ho. Aur change karne ke baad iski ek achchi si photo bhi apne camera se le kar rakh lena. Phool to murjha jayenge aaj nahin to kal. Photo mein hi nishani rahegi.”

She smiled happily.

“Achcha batao chai piyogi ya coffee.”

“Chai. Aur kuchh snacks bhi chahiye. Bhookh lagi hai.”

Ashutosh smiled with amusement. She was back to her carefree self, “Main Hiraman Kaka ko bulata hoon.”

“Rahne dijiye. Main khud jaa kar unhein bol aati hoon.”

“Okay.”

—

Nidhi took sometime to come back. When she came, she came with the tea and snacks in a plate.

“Aap kyon le aayin ye sab? Kaka ko bas bol deti.”

“Aap chai pijiye aur bataiye ki kaisi bani hai?” she kept the tray on the table near the bed.

“Kaka ki banayi chai main to roz peeta hoon. Aap bataiye…” Ashutosh stopped. Of course, she wouldn’t ask him to taste it if it was made by Kaka. “To aap aaj button daba kar chai nahin layi hain. Lekin aapke Baba ne to kaha tha ki aapko sirf coffee banani aati hai.”

“Haan. Pahli baar chai banayi hai,” she handed him a cup, “Lekin aap ghabraiye nahin. Kaka se poochh poochh kar banayi hai. Zyada buri nahin hogi.”

“Bahut achchhi bani hai,” Ashutosh sipped and smiled.

—

To be continued

Ashutosh had caught viral in the afternoon. He was not around that night when Nidhi was on duty. She felt anxious. Absent-mindedly she walked towards his office. Dr. Rangnath was not in the hospital either. So, she had no interruptions. She went in and touched things in the room. His pen, laptop, the table, that chair… She sat down on his chair and stared at the things in front of her. She opened the drawer and was surprised at what she saw there. A smile formed on her lips.

—

Ashutosh was too old to be under any illusions. He might not have accepted it to himself before Mallika had burst out accusing him of loving Nidhi. But after that he had not even an iota of doubt about his feelings. He was lost in the thoughts sitting in his garden when Armaan came there.

“Tabiyat kaisi hai Ashutoh?” Ashutosh had been in the bed since yesterday. He was bored and seeing that the sun was shining bright, had decided to step out in the garden for a while.

“Abhi teen dinon tak to kaisi hi rahegi Armaan. Tumhein pata hi hai.”

“Phir bahar kyon nikal aaye?”

“Body ke saath saath dimaag bhi beemaar na ho jaye isliye. Andar bore ho raha tha.”

“Hospital aur patients ko miss kar rahe the?”

“Armaan! Tum bhi Dr. Nidhi ki tarah baatein kar rahe ho.”

“Ya Dr. Nidhi ko miss kar rahe the?”

“Kya matlab?”

“Matlab ye mere bhai ki main bhi andhaa nahin hoon. Mujhe dikhta hai ki kaise tumhare hospital jaane ka time Dr. Nidhi ki duty timings se match karta hai, kaise tumhare office mein waqt-bewaqt chai aati rahti hai aur kaise kaam karte samay bhi tum dono ki nazarein ek doosre se hatti nahin hain.”

“Kya kahna chahte ho Armaan?” Ashutosha asked in a tired, defeated voice.

“Ye kahna chahta hoon Ashutoh ki tumhari zindagi mein ek aisi ladki ki zaroorat to tumhare khalipan ko, udaasi ko door kar sake. Aur I don’t think I am wrong in saying that Dr. Nidhi hi woh ladki hain.”

“Taali ek haath se nahin bajti Armaan.”

“Tumne kabhi usse baat ki hai? Jitna maine use dekha hai, woh bhi tumse pyaar karti hai.”

“Armaan. Tumhein pata hai. Aaj kal main ek saath hi kitne alag alag emotions se joojh raha hoon. I am happy, I am scared and I feel guilty.”

“Kya matlab?”

“I am happy Armaan kyonki Nidhi ka aas paas hona mujhe khush rakhta hai. Uski liveliness, innocence mujhe affect karti hai, aur bahut positively affect karti hai. Lekin tum jaante ho Armaan ki main khushiyon se darta hoon. Khushiyon ke chhinne se bahut darta hoon. Aur is case mein sirf apne liye nahin, uske liye bhi darta hoon. Ho sakta hai ki woh mujhe idealize karti ho aaj. Lekin is rishte ka future kya hoga? Woh mujhse bahut chhoti hai. Almost a different generation.”

“Tumse chhoti hai Ashutosh, minor to nahin hai. Naabaalig nahin hai. She is an adult. And if she reciprocates your feelings, there can be nothing wrong in it.”

“Yahin to mujhe guilt mahsoos hota hai Armaan. Do you understand what it means for me to be in love with her? That I am in love with a woman… a girl half my age. Kitni ungliyan uthengi is rishte par? Uske ghar waale kya sochenge? Aur kya woh itni mature hai ki mujhe pyaar kar ke usne apne liye sahi faisla liya hai? Haan Armaan. Main Nidhi se pyaar karta hoon. Aur mujhe sirf andaaza nahin hai, balki pata hai ki woh bhi mujhse pyaar karti hai. Lekin is rishte ka koi future nahin hai Armaan. Koi future nahin hai. Main bas khush hoon ki woh mere aas paas hai. Aur main sirf uski khushi chahta hoon.”

“Aur kal ko use kissi aur ke saath dekh paoge?”

“Agar woh khush rahegi to dekh loonga Armaan. Aakhir pyaar koi len den to nahin hota. Chalo andar chalte hain. Doctor hoon. Sehat ko itna bhi ignore nahin kar sakta.”

They got up from their chairs and turned to go back to the house. But were shocked to see Nidhi standing there with a bouquet in her hands. They all stared at each other awkwardly for a moment. Then Armaan took control.

“Hello Dr. Nidhi.”

“Hello Dr. Armaan. Good morning Sir,” she greeted them both.

“Good morning Dr. Nidhi. Baithiye na. Kaise aana hua?” Ashutosh asked.

“Aap log baatein kijiye. Main zara Amma se apni special chai banwa loon. Woh India mein hi milti hai sahi,” Armaan said and left.

Ashutosh and Nidhi were uncomfortable, but they started talking.

“Sir. Pata chala ki aapki tabiyat kharaab hai. Isliye main dekhne chali aayi. Abhi meri duty ka time nahin hua hai.” she explained hastily so that he shouldn’t think she was shirking her work.

Ashutosh smiled at that, “Baithiye na.”

“Ji.” She gave him the bouquet before sitting down. Ashutosh’ countenance stiffened for a bit, but he relaxed immediately and Nidhi didn’t notice.

“Aap bahut kamzor lag rahe hain,” Nidhi said.

“Khoobsoorti ki tarah shayad kamzori bhi dekhne waalon ki aankhon mein hoti hai,” Ashutosh joked.

“Baatein achchhi bana lete hain aap. Lekin viral mein aapko aise bahar nahin baithna chahiye.”

“Dhoop achchhi nikli thi. Isliye…”

“Dhoop achchhi cheez hoti hai Dr. Ashutosh. Lekin dhoop ke kinare andhere hote hain. Aur thandh hoti hai. Hawa to dhoop mein bhi chalti rahti hai. To viral mein ye bilkul achchhi nahin hoti.”

Ashutosh laughed, “Lagta hai hum yahan baithe rahe to dhoop, hawa aur viral par aapka sermon chalta rahega. Chaliye andar hi baithte hain. Main waise bhi jaane hi waala tha.”

They walked back to his room. Suddenly Nidhi chuckled for no apparent reason.

“Kya hua? Achanak aap itni amused kyon ho gayi?”

“Kuchh nahin. Aapki baat yaad aa gayi jo abhi aapne kahi thi. Kamzori dekhne waalon ki aankhon mein hoti hai. Kitni funny sound karti hai.”

“Bol to maine yun hi diya tha – baat banane ki liye. Lekin sach hai. Jab insaan kissi ki or care ki nazron se dekhta hai to shayad uski taqleefein, uski beemaari, uski kamzori zyada jaldi dikh jati hai.”

Nidhi bit her lips and did not say anything.

“Aapne powder lagaya hua hai, lekin mujhe bhi aapki aankhon ke kaale ghere aur puffiness dikh rahe hain. Soyi nahin hai aap theek se? Chinta ho rahi thi aapko?”

“Ji,” Nidhi said weakly.

“Dr. Nidhi. Maine Dr. Mallika se aapki baatein kal sun li thi aur main isliye aapse baat karna chahta tha, aapko samjhaana chahta tha ki…”

“Kuchh aur mat samjhaane ki koshish kijiyega,” Nidhi interrupted, “Main kal aapke office mein gayi thi. Aadatan. Aur wahan mujhe ye mila.” She showed him a gift-wrapped packet.

“Ye to mere drawer mein tha!” Ashutosh exlaimed.

“Ji. Maine khola tha. Koi aitraaz hai aapko?”

Ashutosh sighed, “Aur aap ye utha kar bhi le aayin?”

“Mere liye birthday gift tha, to meri hi cheez hui na. Aapne nahin di intne dinon tak, to mujhe khud leni padi. Kya hai ismein?”

“Aapki hi cheez hai, to khol kar dekh lijiye.”

Nidhi unpacked it to find the lens she had thought of asking Baba to gift her on her birthday. But she hardly got time to talk to him.

Her eyes widened in surprise, “Aapko yaad tha?”

“Aap bhi to kuchh bhoolti nahin hai? Lekin Dr. Nidhi…”

“Maine bhi Dr. Armaan se aapki baatein sun li hain,” she interrupted him.

Ashutosh sighed again, “I feared that.”

Nidhi was surprised that she didn’t feel nervous. She was feeling rather confident, “Mujhe to dar nahin lagta.”

“Yes Nidhi. You are a brave, young woman. Tumhein dar nahin lagta. Aur main nahin chahta ki khushiyon ko jo dar mujhe satata rahta hai, woh tumhari zindagi mein bhi andhera kar de.”

“Aapke Baba ki woh kya nishaani thi jo aapse chhin gayi thi?” Nidhi changed the topic apparently. But Ashutosh knew she was very much on the topic.

“Dekhna chahti ho?”

“Ji.”

“Theek hai. Tabiyat theek hote hi tumhein dikha doonga.”

Nidhi smiled, “Main chalti hoon. Hospital ka time ho raha hai. You take care.”

“You too Nidhi. Bye.”

—

To be continued

“Dr. Nidhi?”

“Sir aap?”

“Aapka kaam ho gaya? To chaliye.”

“Ji. Main bas nikalne hi waali thi. Mujhe lagta hai is bachchi ko hidden injuries hain. Hospital le jaana padega.”

“Theek hai. Mere saath hospital ka driver aaya hai. Woh ise le jayega aapki car mein. Aap mere saath chaliye.”

“Ji.”

Ashutosh’ face told Nidhi that he was angry with her for having come alone.

After they sat in the car, she offered an explanation, “Meera ki tabiyat bahut kharaab thi.”

“Aur poori duniya mein koi aur doctor nahin tha uske liye? Koi nahin tha jise aap bhej deti ya apne saath le aati?” Ashutosh spoke in a controlled voice.

“Dr. Ashutosh!”

“Bahane mat banaiye aap. Kahin phans jaati aap, kuchh ho jaata to kiski responsibility hoti? But why would you care? Aapko to bas sab kuchh apni marzi se karna hai na? Kissi se poochhne ki zaroorat to hai nahin?” he started blasting her.

“Aap the nahin. Main kisse permission leti?”

“Mere alawa hospital mein koi nahin hai?”

“Dr. Mallika hain. Aur unse maine permission li thi. Lekin jo unhone kaha woh main dohra nahin sakti.”

“Kabhi kuchh soch samajh kar kaam kar sakti hain aap?” Ashutosh was not pacified.

“I am sorry. Aapko mere liye itni door aana pada.”

“You should be sorry. Aapko pata hai ki aapki wajah se main… hum log kitne pareshaan the? Ghante bhar se main aapko dhoondh raha hoon. Kuchh ho jaata… Lekin aapko kyon fikr hone lagi? Aapko to bas apne man ki karni hai na?”

“Aap itna gussa kyon ho rahe hain?”

“Ye aapko samajh mein nahin aayega. Kyonki doosron ki koi fikr nahin hai aapko. Agar aapko kuchh ho jaata to kiski responsibility hoti?”

“Meri hoti. Aapko ya kissi aur ki mere liye pareshaan hone ki zaroorat nahin hai. Aur waise bhi aap kyon pareshaan the? Kyon dhoondh rahe the mujhe? Aapko kya farq padta hai? Mar jaati main zyada se zyada. Aap log to khush hi hote. Mujhe pata hai ki aap log mujhe kya samajhte hain? Immature, Irresponsible, inefficent. Aapko kaun si parwaah hai meri?” she also lost her cool now.

“Ye kaisi bachkani baat hai Dr. Nidhi? Maine aapse pahle bhi kaha hai…” Then he realized that he had been blasting her non-stop and now she had also lost her cool. So, he stepped back, “Khair chhodiye. Gussa mat kijiye. I am sorry. Mujhe aapko itna daanta nahin chahiye tha. Lekin main ghabra gaya tha.”

Nidhi did not reply.

“Ab ghabrahat to hoti hai na?”

“Mere liye ghabrane ki kissi ko koi zaroorat nahin hai.”

Ashutosh smiled, “Theek hai. You are an independent adult. Kissi ko haq nahin hai ki aapke faisle par sawaal uthaye. Ab gussa chhod dijiye. Aise gussa ho kar apna birthday spoil mat kijiye.”

Nidhi looked surprised.

“Bhool gayi thi aap?”

“Ji. Lekin aapko kisne bataya?”

“Baba ne. Woh aaye the hospital. Isliye main aapko ghar pahunchane ja raha hoon.”

“Thank you.”

They pulled up in front of her home. Ashutosh said as Nidhi got down, “Waise aapne galat samjha ki mujhe aapki parwaah nahin hai. Mujhe aapki bahut parwaah hai.”

Nidhi could not help blushing at that. Baba saw them and invited Ashutosh to come in. But he had to return to the hospital. Dadi Bua force fed him a sweet though.

—

Ashutosh was surprised when Nidhi came into his office to take his signatures on some papers.

“Dr. Nidhi? Aap aaj wapas kyon aa gayin. Aapko apni family ke saath birthday celebrate karna chahiye tha.”

“Ji main celebrate karne ke baad aayi hoon. Aur yahan itna kaam tha. Main ruk nahin saki.”

“Aap theek to hain?”

“Ji.”

“Aur upset to nahin hain mujhse?”

“Nahin Sir. Main upset nahin hoon. Aap…”

“Haan. Upset to hamesha main hota hoon. Hai na?” Ashutosh asked laughingly.

“Ji Sir,” Nidhi also laughed.

“Achchha. Ye to bataiye Dr. Nidhi ki aap to apne is profession ko bilkul pasand nahin karti thi? Bhaagna chahti thi isse? Phir itni involved kaise ho gayi ki apni birthday ke din, mere chhutti dene ke bawzood hospital se door nahin rah saki?”

“Pata nahin Sir, kab aur kaise ho gaya. Lekin ab achchha lagta hai. Kaam kar ke sukoon milta hai, khushi milti hai.”

“Pata nahin kab aur kaise…” Ashutosh spoke in a voice as if talking more to himself that to her, “Aisa hi to hota hai na. Hamein pata bhi nahin chalta aur kuchh cheezein, kuchh log hamare kareeb aa jate hain. Itne kareeb ki hamari life unke bina incomplete lagti hai. Lekin agar koi poochhe to hamein pata hi nahin hota ki kab aur kaise ho gaya.”

Nidhi felt the goosebumps on her skin and redness and hotness on her cheeks again. She wondered if Ashutosh could see her reaction or if she should let him see it. She couln’t be sure. What if she was misreading his feelings. What about the things Dr. Mallika said about her being irresponsible, immature and what not? After all, she was an old friend of Dr. Ashutosh and did seem to be the person closest to him.

“Dr. Nidhi? Kahan kho gayi aap?” Ashutosh’ voice brought her out of her trance.

“Nahin… Kahin nahin Sir. Main chalti hoon. Kaafi kaam hai ward mein.”

“Theek hai.”

—

“Dr. Mallika. Aapne mujhe bulaya?”

“Yes Dr. Nidhi. Socha saath mein coffee pi jaye.”

“Achchha!” Nidhi knew that wasn’t her motive.

“Waise zara apna haath to dikhaiye Dr. Nidhi. Aapki luck line zaroor bahut strong hogi. Kabhi lottery lagi hai aapki?”

“Nahin,” Nidhi said dryly and walked towards the coffee machine.

“Dr. Ashutosh ki personality bahut hi charming hai, magnetic hai” Mallika came to the point, “Unki taraf attract hote logon ko der nahin lagti.”

Nidhi got the coffee and sat across her on a chair. She did not react to what Mallika had said. So, Mallika continued, “Aur phir woh ameer bhi to bahut hain?”

“So?”

“Anyway. Ye to aap jaanti hain.”

“Ye aap mujhse zyada jaanti hain shayad.”

“Haan. Ashutosh ko mujhse zyada koi nahin jaanta. Isliye tumhein samjhaane ki koshish kar rahi hoon. Don’t waste your time Nidhi. Warna ek din pachhtaogi.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Samajh jaogi. Lekin tab tak bahut der ho chuki hogi. Tum kabhi bhi is age-gap ko khatam nahin kar sakti Nidhi. And if you tried, which I think you will, then…”

“Aap ye sab kyon suna rahi hain mujhe?”

“Agar tum galat raaste par chalo, to mera haq hai ki main tumhein rokoon.”

“Ji nahin. Maine ye haq aapko kabhi nahin diya hai. And you don’t have to worry about me Dr. Mallika. Lekin achchha kiya ki aapne ye baat seedhe seedhe kar li. You are right. I like Dr. Ashutosh. And I don’t care ki woh mujhse pyaar karte hain ya nahin, kabhi bhi karenege ya nahin, ya phir woh mujhse kitne bade hain. Kyonki pyaar koi business nahin hota. Len den nahin hota. Aapne apni life mein pyaar ke badle hamehsa kuchh paane ki koshish ki hai. Shayad isliye itni disappoint hui hain.”

Nidhi walked out of the room only to see Ashutosh standing near the door. She didn’t stop; she was confused.She found a lonely place and tried to think over what had happened. What the hell had happened to her? Why did she lose her cool before Mallika? And what if Ashutosh had heard her? What would he think? Would he like it? Would he laugh it off as her immaturity? Would he be disgusted with her? She didn’t know.

She decided to take refuge in work. She went to the ward and started checking on the patients. Suddenly she found Ashutosh in front of her while checking the patient’s chart.

“How is he?” Ashutosh asked about the patient.

“Improving Sir. 3-4 dinon mein discharge kar sakte hain.”

“Good.”

“Sir?” she had to ask.

“Aap abhi abhi aaye hain na?”

“Haan. Kyon?”

“Nahin. Bas aise hi.”

She moved to the next bed and did not see Ashutosh smiling after her.

—

To be continued

Amidst all this, the media was insatiable. Dr. Rangnath tried his best, but after things settled down a bit, they thought it was better for Dr. Ashutosh to give a statement and satisfy them. Tired and exhausted, he did even that.

Then he walked into the common room, where all the doctors and interns were sitting. They all had gotten some time to relax after a while.

“Sab kuchh theek thaak hai?” he asked.

“Yes Sir.”

“Kuchh khaya piya aap logon ne?”

“Yes Sir. Aap fikr mat kijiye. Yahan sab theek hai.”

“Great. Main apne office mein hoon. Koi issue ho to mujhe bata dijiyega.”

“Ji Sir.”

Nidhi wondered if the last bit was meant for her. She decided to risk it and reached his cabin with tea.

“Thank you Dr. Nidhi. Lekin aap meri aadat bigaad rahi hain.”

“Ji?”

“Aapke chai laane ki aisi aadat pad gayi hai ki kitni bhi thakaan ho rakhi ho, khud laana yaad hi nahin rahta.”

“To ismein kaun si badi baat hai. Main kaun sa bana kar laati hoon. Ek button hi to dabana hai. Aapke liye chai to la hi sakti hoon.”

“Haan jab tak aap yahan hain, tab tak… Par uske baad?”

“To main kahan ja rahi hoon?”

“PG nahin karni aapko?”

“Yahin kaam karte hue karoongi. Credit to mil hi jayega.”

“Children’s ward mein?”

“Bilkul. Main pediatrics mein hi specialize bhi karoongi.”

“Kyon?”

The question caught her off guard for a moment. What was she to say? Because she had to follow his footsteps? Because she wanted to be like him?

“Mujhe bachche pasand hain,” she finally said.

Ashutosh smiled, “Haan. Woh to dikhta hai mujhe. Lekin phir bhi. Meri aadat mat bigadiye. Mujhe dar lagta hai.”

“Kis cheez se?”

“Khushiyon se?”

“Ye kaisi baat hui? Khushiyon se bhala kyon dar lagta hai aapko?”

“Kyonki woh chhin jaati hain to bahut dukh hota hai. Woh dukh bardasht karne ki himmat nahi hai mujhme.”

“Aapke Baba ki nishani chhin jaane ka bahut dukh hai na aapko?”

Ashutosh looked surprised. She remembered!

Nidhi thought that he did not remember telling her and hence was surprised.

“Aapne khud hi bataya tha mujhe…” Nidhi explained hesitantly.

“Pata hai. Lekin aapne bhi yaad rakha, ye bahut badi baat hai.”

“Aakhir kya cheez thi woh?”

“Janna chahti hain aap?”

“Of course.”

“Theek hai. Kabhi aapko dikha doonga.”

“Par woh to aapke paas nahin hai?”

“Lekin dikha sakta hoon.”

There was a silence for a few moments. Then Nidhi took his leave to go to the ward.

—

“Dr. Nidhi. Aapke liye phone hai,” the receptionist called Nidhi. Nidhi took the receiver from her. It was the mother of one of the kids whom she had treated yesterday and then sent back. Apparently the child had developed severe pain in her arms now. After the bombings, many areas of the city were under curfew and the parents could not bring the child to the hospital. Nidhi assured her that she would come to their house as doctors would be allowed to go and took the address down.

Nidhi checked for Ashutosh, but he was out. She asked the receptionist and was informed that he had gone out with Dr. Armaan for some work. The mobile network was practically jammed in the city after the blasts. So, Nidhi gave the address to the receptionist and asked her to inform Dr. Rangnath and Dr. Ashutosh that she’d be there.

Then she went to the common room to pick up her things. Mallika was sitting there. So, as a courtesy she informed her, “Dr. Mallika. Main ek patient ko dekhne bahar ja rahi hoon. Ek do ghanton mein lautungi.”

“Really?” Mallika responded.

“Ji?”

“Mera matlab hai ki bahar jaane ka reason batana zaroori nahin hai. Lekin ye batana zaroori hai ki aap kiske saath ja rahi hain.”

“What do you mean?”

“Na to aap koi bachchi hain, na hi bewkoof. Baaki baatein ko aapko achchhe se samajh mein aati hain?”

“Aap kah rahi hain ki main jhooth bol rahi hoon?”

“Tumhari umra mein sabhi jhooth bolte hain. Maine bhi bahut bole hain. Kabhi time ho to Dr. Ashutosh se poochh lena.”

“Main jhooth nahin bolti.”

“Theek hai. To phir jo baat main tumse poochh rahi hoon, uska sach sach jawaab dena.”

“Aapko mujhse problem kya hai? Why do you hate me so much?”

“Tumne dil khol kar apni baat kahi hai, to main bhi sach hi bataungi. Koi aurat ye bardasht nahin kar sakti ki jise woh pyaar karti ho, use koi usse chheen le.”

Nidhi sighed in exasperation.

“Itni bholi nahin ho tum. Tum achchhi tarah jaanti thi ki mera aur Ashutosh ka rishta kitna gahra hai. Lekin tumne apni umra aur chehre ko hathiyaar bana kar Ashutosh par uska istemaal kiya. Main galat kah rahi hoon kya?”

“Dr. Mallika. Aap mujhe badtamizi karne par majbooor mat kijiye.”

“Meri baatein tumhein bhale hi pasand na aayen, lekin apni bhalai ke liye sun lo. Ashutosh ko mujhse zyada koi nahin jaanta. Tum uske saamne kuchh nahin ho. Tumhein kya lagta hai ki he will fall for an immature, irreponsible girl like you? Kabhi nahin. Aur agar tumne use phansa bhi liya, to ye samajh lo ki woh ek bahut hi kamzor insaan hai. He is a weak man. He is not someone who can protect you. Jab duniya tumhare rishte par sawaal khade karegi, to woh tumhein beech majhdhaar mein chhod kar chala jayega. Woh sirf apne kaam se, ya apne aap se pyaar kar sakta hai.”

“I can’t believe this Dr. Mallika. Aapki soch kitni cheap hai. And how can a woman stoop so low? Itna kaise gir sakti hai koi aurat?”

“Nidhi. Aurat mein bahut taakat hoti hai. Aur ye tumhein us din pata chalega, jab tum mere aamne-saamne khadi hogi.”

“Main aur aap kabhi aamne saamne nahin khade honge, Dr. Mallika.” Nidhi stormed out of the room leaving an angry Mallika behind.

—

Ashutosh had come back after a visit to another hospital treating the injured kids. He was tired and feeling sick. He needed some peace. He wanted to feel better. He wanted to see Nidhi. Trying to call on mobile was pointless. The network was jammed. He made to get up from his chair and look for her in the ward, when Rangnath came in. He got the updates on the serious cases from him. The progress of the patients was satisfactory. When Rangnath started leaving, he asked her, “Aap Dr. Verma ko mere office mein bhej dijiye please.”

“Sir. Woh to hospital mein hain nahin. Kissi patient ko dekhne gayi hain?”

“Kiske saath?”

“Akeli gayi hain I think.”

“Aisi situation mein? Akeli? Shahar mein dange ho rahe hain. Curfew laga hua hai. Aapne jaane kaise diya Dr. Rangnath?”

“Sorry Sir. Lekin woh mujhe bata kar nahin gayi thi. Mujhe to receptionist ne information di. Is address par hain woh. Ho sakta hai Dr. Mallika se poochh kar gayi ho?”

“Theek hai aap jaiye. Ye address mujhe de jaiye.”

Ashutosh hardly had any time to think over what had happened, when someone knocked at the door.

“Come in.”

It was Baba and Anji.

“Are aap log? Aaiye na.”

“Sorry Dr. Ashutosh. Tum busy hoge in sabke beech mein. Hum actually Nidhi ko lene aaye the, lekin woh yahan hai nahin,” Baba said.

“Aaj uska birthday hai. Maine aur Dadi Bua ne dher saari taiyaariyan kar rakhi hain,” Anji added.

“Oh!” Ashutosh rued.

“To agar aaj woh ghar nahin aayi na Dr. Ashutosh, to usne to mujhe maaf kar diya hai use doctor banae ke liye. Bua mujhe kabhi nahin maaf karengi. Meri to khaal udhed dengi woh.”

“Aap chinta mat kijiye. Woh jaldi hi aa jayengi. Jaise hi aati hain, main unhein bhejta hoon.”

“Theek hai. Thank you very much. Hum log chalte hain.”

“Are, kuchh chai wagerah to peete jaiye.”

“Nahin, nahin. Abhi uska samay na tumhare paas hai, na hamare paas. Phir kabhi milte hain.”

“Ji achchha.”

Ashutosh saw them off till the parking lot and took off in his car himself to look for Nidhi. He took a driver form the hospital with him. It took him sometime to locate the address.

—

To be continued

Someone had planted a bomb in a school. It had gone off after the the school was over. Otherwise the damage would have been much more severe. But many children were still waiting for their parents and they had been injured. The school was close to Dr. Kotnis General hospital and a large number of kids had been brought in there.

There was already a huge crowd of injured kids, their parents, onlookers and media in front of the hospital. The doctors pushed their way through it. The on duty nurse gave Ashutosh a quick update. Some kids had minor injuries. They had put the bandages for them and sent them back. There were 44 kids severly injured and 5 were critical and admitted to ICU.

Nidhi watched as Ashutosh took control of the situation. He directed doctors to take charge of different wards. There wasn’t enough space available in IPD for everyone. He asked Nidhi to get the medicines and injections and first aid material in the lobby and start treating those waiting there. Nidhi immediately started on her job with help from Priyanka and a nurse. But she could not help notice how Ashutosh had converted a chaotic looking situation into a manageable exercise. Even amidst the howling kids, crying parents, and intrusive media, everyone was clear on how to go about doing things. After assigning work to everyone, Ashutosh himself also started attending the patients. But not before taking care of something that was troubling Nidhi.

“Dr. Verma, please come to my office for a minute please,” he addressed her formally. Nidhi asked Priyanka to take care of the patient she was attending and went with him.

“Dr. Nidhi. Meri ek spare pair of slippers yahan padi rahti hain hamesha. Aap ye le lijiye. Thodi badi hongi, lekin comfortable rahengi. High heels mein aap bhaag daud nahin kar payengi.”

Nidhi was so surprised, she stared at him for a while.

“Kya hua Dr. Nidhi?”

“Haan? Nahin… Kuchh nahin…” she came out of her trance, “Thank you. Aapne itna dhyaan rakha.”

She took the slippers, put them on and rushed out of the room. She didn’t know why, but she felt very shy. Ashutosh smiled seeing her almost run out. She had left her sandles right near the door of his office. He picked them up and placed them behind his table, where they won’t be visible to the visitors.

—

Priyanka noticed her slippers when she came back.

“Nidhi. Ye slippers?”

“Haan woh yahan pade hue the extra. High heels mein kaam karna mushkil hota na. Isliye…”

Priyanka looked at her questioningly, but Nidhi ignored her.

For next two hours they worked without a break. In between a crying woman approached Nidhi, “Doctor. Meri bachchi kaisi hai? Use kitna dard ho raha hoga?”

Nidhi looked at the nurse to know what happened to her daughter, “Severe burn ka case hai Dr. Nidhi. Use quarantine mein rakha gaya hai.”

“Dekhiye aap chinta mat kijiye. Theek ho jayegi. Use alag isliye rakha gaya hai taki germs use nuksaan na karein.”

“Phool si meri bachchi. Zara si chot aa jaati thi to ro ro kar aasmaan sar par utha deti thi. Itni jalan kaise bardasht karegi?”

“Use pain killers diye hain na humne. Aur abhi to anaesthesia mein hogi. Use koi dard nahin mahsoos ho raha hoga. Lekin aap please apna khayaal rakhiye. Agar aap hi ro ro kar beemar pad gayin to uski dekh bhaal kaun karega,” Nidhi repeated what she had often heard Ashutosh tell the attendants of patients.

And that simple logic seemed to drive the point home. She did calm down. Nidhi decided to check on the child anyway. And what she saw there shattered her. The child was under anaesthesia. That with pain killers would probably keep her pain away. But will she or her mother be able to stay calm when they see her burnt face and body. What mental trauma it will be for them, when even as a doctor, Nidhi was horrified to see her face? She rushed out of the room.

—

Finally it looked like everything had been attended to. The corridor was empty now as extra beds had been put and everyone had been accommodated in the rooms. As per the policy of children’s ward, parents and attendants had been sent home for the night.

Nidhi sat down on a bench in the empty corridor trying to take a stock of the things around her. She had never seen anything like this before. She read about the terrorist attacks, accidents; she saw the clippings on the TV. She had felt bad for people, but what she felt by being in the middle on all this was very different. She could not even name that feeling. Disgust? Fear? Anger? Sickness? Tiredness? All combined!

She did not realize when Ashutosh came and sat by her. She noticed him only when he spoke, “Ise imtihaan kahte hain Dr. Nidhi. Woh imtihaan nahin jo hum paper-pen par dete hain. Real life ka imtihaan.”

Nidhi smiled weakly, “Aap to expert hain, real life ke imtihaan dene mein.”

“Achchha. Aisa kyon lagta hai aapko?”

“Jis tarah se aapne sab kuchh sambhaala… Hum sab log to kitna hadbada gaye the.”

“Ye to bas professional maturity hai. Samay ke saath aapme bhi aa jayegi.”

“Hope so.”

Ashutosh smiled, “Take care Nidhi.” Then he walked away.

Nidhi also decided to go back to the ward and check on the patients.

—

“Dr. Ashutosh. Ek bachche ko saans nahin aa rahi hai. Aap please mere saath chaliye,” Nidhi came rushing to Ashutosh.

“Chaliye.”

Ashutosh went to the child. He quickly checked his condition and sent the nurse to fetch the cardiologist. Cardiologist came, but it was too late. Ashutosh looked at his watch and noted the time of the death.

Nidhi was so horrified that she stumbled while walking away from the bed. Nidhi should have completed some formalities after the child’s death, but seeing her condition Ashutosh decided to do that himself. He saw her walking towards the common room absent-mindedly. He decided to check on her after completing the formalities.

Nidhi sat on a chair in the common room and then she broke down. She started sobbing uncontrollably. Sonali was there in the room. She came to her tried to calm her down. Dr. Rangnath and couple of other doctors also walked in just then. They all understood what she was going through. They all were in the same boat. It was just a question of who could withstand how much before breaking down. They tried to comfort her, but to no avail.

Finally Ashutosh walked in, “Dr. Verma. Kya ho raha hai? Ye kya halat bana rakhi aapne apni? Aap aise karengi to patients aur unke parents ka kya hoga? Jaiye. Ja kar munh dho kar aaiye. Jaiye please.”

Nidhi obeyed him and walked towards the washroom.

Ashutosh looked at the other doctors sitting in the room, many of them on the verge of breaking down. It wasn’t the first time he had seen this. Unfortunately calamities kepts striking around them far too often. And there always were those young doctors, who would find it difficult to cope. He had handled them many a times. He had to do that now.

“Aur aap log yahan kya kar rahe hain? Dr. Verma se zyada bahar ward mein patients ko aap logon ki zaroorat hai. Aur unke saamne aap aisi roni shakal bana kar nahin ja sakte. Dr. Ranghnath? Aap to senior hain. Sambhaliye in sab ko.”

“Sir, insaan to hum sab bhi hain. Itna kuchh dekh kar asar to hum par bhi padta hi hai.”

Ashutosh softened, “Main jaanta hoon. Hum sab bahut pressure mein hain. Ye sab bahut darawana hai. Ek taraf to hum doctors se ye ummeed ki jaati hai ki hum insaaniyat ke saath rahein. Wahin doosri taraf aam insaanon ki tarah emotional bhi nahin ho sakte. Ye hamare profession ka sabse bada challenge hai. Lekin iska kuchh kiya nahin ja sakta.”

Rangnath gathered himself together. He had to help his boss, not break down himself, “Aap theek kah rahe hain Sir. Aap chinta mat kijiye. Ye sab log meri zimmedaari hain.”

“Thank you Dr. Rangnath. Aur dhyaan rakhiye ki ye sab log bhi kuchh kha pee lein baari baari se. Doctors, agle ek-do dinon tak ho sakta hai ki aap logon ko aaraam karne ka mauka nahin mile. Lekin is samay aaraam kar bhi kaun sakta hai?”

“Yes Sir. Aap hamari chinta mat kijiye. We will manage,” said one of the interns.

“Thank you.”

With this everyone left the room. Ashutosh sat down on the sofa. Nidhi came out of the washroom after a minute or so.

“Come here Nidhi. Sit down.” She did that.

“Kya hua? Ghabra gayi thi?” She nodded.

“Nidhi. Shayad aaj pahli baar tumne kissi patient ki death hote dekhi hai.”

“Ji.”

“Emotionally hamein break kar dene waala moment hota hai ye Nidhi. Lekin professionally, ye ek humbling moment hota hai. Jab tak patient ki saans chal rahi hai, hum use kuchh bhi kar ke bachane ki koshish karte hain. Lekin kuchh cheezein hamare haath mein nahin hoti. Life ke exam mein bhi out of syllabus questions hote hain.”

Nidhi smiled slightly at that quip.

“Un questions se hamein haar maanni hi padti hai. Lekin hum unke saath toot jayen, ye afford nahin kar sakte. Baaki ke sawaal hamara intezaar kar rahe hote hain. Unhein hamare answers ki zaroorat hoti hai. Baat samajh rahi ho na?”

“I am sorry Sir.”

“Sorry?” Ashutosh rued, “Ye to mujhe kahna chahiye. Tumhare oopar itna pressure daal raha hoon. Waise hum log ek-doosre ke saath itni formalities kyon karte hain? Thank you. Sorry. Inki zaroorat hai kya?”

Another one! Nidhi turned red and felt goosebumps on her skin.

Before either of them could say anything, they had an interruption.

“What a sweet little scene,” Mallika said sarcastically, “Suna hai Dr. Nidhi ki tabiyat kharaab hai. Ashutosh. Koi special dawai di ya nahin?”

Nidhi glared at her, but did not say anything. She walked out of the room.

Ashutosh had had enough. After Nidhi went away, he told her, “Mallika. Kissi ke tolerance ko itna mat test karo ki woh tumhein jawaab dene par mazboor ho jaye. Main kabhi nahin chahoonga ki mujhe tumhein kissi aur ke saamne koi kadwi baat kahni pade. Lekin please mujhe force mat karo.”

He walked out of the room as well. He was surrounded by media persons. He sent them to his office and looked for Nidhi, “Dr. Nidhi. Aap Dr. Mallika ki baaton ka bura mat maaniyega. Zindagi kabhi kabhi logon ko kadwa bana deti hai.”

“Woh aapki dost hain. Main unhein bardasht kar sakti hoon,” Nidhi said with a faint smile, “Main ward mein jaati hoon.”

Ashutosh nodded and watched her go with a smile on his lips. She understood him!

—

To be continued

“Anji… Anji… Main bahut thaki hui hoon.”

“La tere shoulders ka massage kar deti hoon. Achcha lagega.”

“You are the best Anji!”

“Haan. Jab matlab niklega tab to main best hoon hi…”

Anji had just started massaging her shoulders when Nidhi’s mobile rang.

“Anji mobile to de.”

“Rahne de Nidhi. Apni halat dekh. Waise bhi kiska phone hai…” Anji saw the caller’s name and smirked, “Nahin. Ye phone uthane se to main tujhe nahin rok sakti. Le.”

It was from Ashutosh.

“Hello Sir.”

“Dr. Nidhi. Dr. Armaan aaj ek tea-party de rahe hain. Un sabhi hospitals ke representatives ke liye jo WHO ke project ka hisaa hain. Aapko aana hai. Hotal Regale. Saadhe paanch baje.”

“Thank you, Sir. Lekin meri jagah koi aur nahin ja sakta kya. Main bahut thaki hui hoon…”

“No Dr. Nidhi. You are on this project and you must come.”

“Lekin Sir…” Ashutosh had disconnected the call.

“Kya hua? Kahan hai date?”

“Party!” Nidhi said.

“Woh bhi chalegi.”

“Khaak chalegi Anji. Main kitni thaki hui hoon.”

“Tu tension na le. Main tera aisa make-up karoongi ki thakaan dikhayi bhi nahin degi.”

“Tujhe make-up ki padi hai?”

“Kyon na padi ho. Mujhe pata hai ki party mein tujhe kisne bulaya hai aur iski kya importance hai.”

“Bakwaas band kar Anji.”

“Chal. Pahle tere liye dress select karte hain,” Anji jumped out of the bed and opened Nidhi’s cupboard, “Yaar… Ye boring cotton kurtis ke alawa tere paas kuchh hai nahin kya… Wait… wait… Ye Saree. Wow! Ye woh hai na jo tune college ki farewell party ke liye kharidi thi. Bas – ye mast hai.”

“Anji. Main tea party mein ja rahi hoon. Kissi shaadi mein nahin.”

“Shaadi ka bhi time aayega. Abhi to teri kismat mein sirf night duties, beemaar bachche aur ye waqt-bewaqt ki parties hi likhi hain. To inse hi kaam chala lete hain…. Ye set sahi jayega iske saath. Aur tu ruk. Maine jo abhi sandle khareedi hain na silver color ki, woh is saree ke saath bahut sahi lagegi. Ek size hone ka kitna fayda hai na?”

“Anji. Woh itni high-heals hain. Main chal bhi nahin paungi.”

“Are abhi time hai party mein. Hum tujhe practice karwa denge.”

“Lekin main ye sab kyon pahnoon?”

“Kyonki tu bilkul bachchon ki tarah lagti hai. Aur tujhe mature aur bada lagne ki zaroorat hai.”

Nidhi sighed. Did Anji understand things better than she herself did?

—

“Welcome Dr. Nidhi,” Ashutosh was stunned to see Nidhi in a blue Saree with silver work. She looked very different. But while speaking, he managed to hide how unsettled he was. “Please come in,” he had spotted her in the hotel lobby and led her to the party hall. Suddenly she stumbled and Ashutosh supported her.

“I am sorry. Thoda dheere chal sakte hain hum? Maine pahli baar high heals pahni hain. To chalne mein dikkat ho rahi hai,” she was embarrassed, but told him her problem.

Ashutosh was amused, “Kyon pahan li high heals aapne?”

“Anji insist kar rahi thi.”

“Koi baat nahin. Chaliye.”

Nidhi met Armaan and was introduced to some other guests she didn’t know. Then she slowly slipped away from the crowd. She watched Ashutosh. He was smiling and laughing while talking to the other guests in the party. She felt a tug at her heart. She didn’t know how to interpret it. Physcially she was still very tired. She walked out of the hall to sit in the open lawn. Ashutosh also had his eyes on her. He saw her walking out. He waited for a while before following her. He carried a glass of juice for her and handed it to her.

“Lagta hai aap bahut bore ho gayi hain.”

“Nahin to.”

“Agar ho gyai hain aap to is baar aapne jhooth achche se bol diya. Kyonki aapke chehre se kuchh pata nahin chal raha.”

“Agar aapne ek aur baar kuchh aisi complicated baat boli to main ro doongi. Main bahut thaki hui hoon aur mujhe abhi kuchh samajh nahin aa raha hai.”

“Thank you Dr. Nidhi. Meri baat rakh kar yahan aane ke liye.”

“Iske liye thank you ki zaroorat nahin hai.”

“Waise ye rang aap par bahut suit karta hai. Pahna kijiye. Aur Saree bhi bahut achchi lagti hai aap par.”

“Rang to pahan sakti hoon, saree nahin. Warna main din bhar saree hi sambhalti rah jaungi, kaam kuchh nahin hoga.”

Ashutosh laughed, “Aapki ya baat mujhe bahut achchhi lagti hai Dr. Nidhi. Simple aur direct. Apne man ki baat express karne mein aap hichkichati nahin hain.”

“Ye compliment hai ya complaint?”

“Compliment hai. Mai bhi itna tedha insaan nahin hoon. Aap meri baat par bharosa kar sakti hain.”

“Mujhe pata hai. Aap bharosemand insaan hain. Lekin aapko nahin lagta ki aapko andar hona chahiye aur logon ke saath.”

“Aap bhi to akeli bahar chali aayi.”

“Aap yahan Dr. Armaan ke saath host hai. Mujhe zyada freedom hai. Main guest hoon.”

Ashutosh smiled and said emotionally, “Right. Thodi de ke liye main bhool hi gaya tha.”

Nidhi felt her heart skip a beat and her cheeks turning hot and red at how he said that. Could there be…

“Aap to party enjoy kar rahe the?” she broke the awkward silence.

“Main normally parties mein bahut bore ho jaata hoon.”

“Aaj to aapko dekh kar aisa nahin lag raha tha.”

“Insaan har kuchh apni marzi se to nahin karta. Kabhi kabhi doosron ki khushi ke liye bhi kuchh karna padta hai. Rather mujhe to lagta hai ki hum apni maximum life doosron ke liye hi guzaar dete hain. Apne liye to kabhi samay hi nahin milta.”

“Aapke liye to ye baat bilkul sahi hai. Aapke patients aur hospitals ke alawa kissi cheez ke liye samay hi nahin hai aapke paas.”

“Aisa kyon lagta hai aapko?”

“Jitna dekha hai…”

“Aankhon dehi baat bhi kabhi kabhi sahi nahin hoti Dr. Nidhi. Jo dekhne mein kuchh lagta hai, uski haqueeqat kuchh aur ho sakti hai. Hum kuchh karte hain, kuchh kahte hain, lekin shayad woh sab dikhawe ke liye ho aur sachchai kuchh aur hi ho. Aisa ho sakta hai na? Aap meri baat samajh rahi hain?”

Nidhi wondered. Was he talking about what she had seen that day. Ashutosh and Mallika in his office…

“Shayad. Shayad.. main samajh rahi hoon.”

“Good. Mujhe achchha lagta hai jab koi bina mere kahe meri baat samajh jaata hai.”

They sat in silence for a few minute. Then Ashutosh’ mobile rang. The line was disturbed.

“Kya?… Aapki aawaaz nahin sunayi de rahi… Aap kaat kar… nahin… kya… Oh God! Main pahunchta hoon… Haan kai doctors hain yahan… sabhi aa rahe hain…”

“Kya hua Sir?” his face told her that something was severely wrong.

“Hamein abhi hospital jaana hoga Dr. Nidhi. Bahut badi emergency hai.”

They gathered other doctors of Kotnis General Hospital from the party and rushed towards the hospital.

—

To be continued