Mish' Fiction

They walked into the forest through a small clearing and Mukundo guided her through the trail. Fifteen minutes into the trail, they were surprised by rains.

“Where did that come from?” Mukundo said, annoyed, “This is not the season for rains.”

“I’m sure it will go away, soon, Mukundo Babu. Let’s take shelter under a tree.”

But it didn’t go away quickly. The downpour was heavy and went on for at least twenty minutes. Mukundo tried to shield Piyali, but it was a pointless effort. He kept his arms tight around her in a protective gesture while he stared ahead of him, angry at the rains for spoiling their idyllic stroll. It was raining too heavily to even try and make their way back to the car. When the rain finally subsided, he started saying, “Let’s go back–” But his words got stuck in his throat when he turned to look at her. Drenched from head to toe, her clothes clinging to her body and water running down her face and neck, Piyali presented a sight that stopped his breath. He also registered that her reaction to him was similar.

“God help me,” he mumbled, as he put his other arms also around her and squeezed her tight in his arms. Was it possible for one body to just fuse with another? He would have liked to do that with hers just then. But aware of her ragged breath on his chest, he loosened his grip a little and tried to concentrate on what he should be doing. If they didn’t do something about their wet clothes, they would fall sick soon.

“There is a jungle lodge in this reserve forest,” his voice trembled as he spoke, “We will go back to the car and then drive there. Hopefully they would be able to give us a room for an hour or so. We can change into dry clothes there. You have a change of cloth, right?”

“Only the party dress.”

“That will have to do.”

One of the guests booked for the day was to arrive only by the evening. So, they managed to get a room for a couple of hours. Mukundo registered them as a couple to avoid any suspicions and truthfully told them that they got wet while taking a stroll on the trail.

Once in the room, Piyali picked up a towel and made for the bathroom, but Mukundo stopped her. Pulling her back in his arms, he said in a hoarse voice, “Don’t stop me, today, Piyali.”

She stayed there, her still presence suggesting her approval.

He turned her around, took the towel from her hand and patted her hair dry. He could feel her breath becoming harder with just that. Then he reached the front of her top from behind and opened the buttons one by one. He peeled it off her shoulders and then went around to face her. He used his mouth to explore her all over, as if desperately drinking the water dripping off her body. They he patted her dry there too. At some point of time, Piyali would not clearly remember later, he also stripped out of his own clothes, but didn’t care to dry himself. Instead he jumped into the bed with Piyali and soon had reduced her to a writhing moaning mass.

When she finally became aware of her surroundings again, she saw him propping himself up lying beside her, one of his legs pressing down on hers.

“Are you okay?” he asked playing with a strand of her hair.

She smiled at him dreamily and nodded.

“I am sorry, I couldn’t wait until the wedding,” he wasn’t really apologizing.

“I didn’t want to wait,” she replied boldly and honestly.

“But now, I can’t stop, Piyali.”

“I don’t want you to.”

He languidly ran his hands over her body and then briefly bit on her breasts. She inhaled sharply. She tried to pull the bedcover over herself, but he pushed it away and continued exploring her body, carefully watching for her reaction.

“What shall we do, Piyali?”

“Right now, we do have to go to that wedding, don’t we?” she replied, then inhaled sharply as he licked her earlobe.

He laughed, fell back on the bed and said, “Yes, we do. Let’s get dressed. We don’t even have this room for much longer.”

He climbed down from the bed and fetched her bag which had her party clothes. Then said, “But what I really meant was that we can’t wait that long to get married. One year is too long a time and we might slip up and do something embarrassing by then.”

“But how–”

“Don’t worry. Baba will not come to know about your wishes at all,” he grinned.

She blushed and pretended to rummage through her bag for some small accessory.

“So, this time you must answer me clearly. Are you fine with getting married quickly?”

She stopped her pointless search and looked up at him. “Yes,” she said in a bold and clear voice.

“Good,” he said and kissed her. “I love you, Piyali!”

– The End –

“Are you terribly disappointed, son?” Aurobindo asked Mukundo. An old cousin uncle of Aurobindo’s had passed away and custom dictated that there could be no weddings or other happy celebrations in the extended family for next one year. Aurobindo was worried about Debendra’s falling health and didn’t want to observe this restriction. But Debendra himself wouldn’t hear of it. So, they had decided to wait for a year before Mukundo and Piyali could be married.

“Come on, Baba. You aren’t really asking, are you? You just want to pull my legs.”

“I really am asking, Mukundo.”

“I think it is good this way. She is too young, Baba. This gives her some time.”

Aurobindo laughed, “Oh, that girl adores you, Mukundo. I can bet she doesn’t want to wait and is terribly disappointed. Debendra is being nice, but I really don’t care. Dina Kaku lived a full life. Nobody is going to mind if we don’t observe a full year of mourning. And if they do, I don’t care. So, why don’t you ask her and let me know what both of you really want.”

Mukundo flushed. In the matter of his and Piyali’s relationship, his father was acting like a know-it-all he had never seen him do before.

“What has been decided has been decided, Baba. I am not asking her. You stop pulling my leg,” Mukundo affectionately rebuffed his father. Aurobindo grinned at him and shrugged.

The next day Mukundo had to attend a wedding in one of his friend’s family in a town a few hours of drive from Kolkata. He had asked Piyali to accompany him and she had readily agreed.

He drew in a sharp breath when Piyali climbed into the car beside him. She had just washed her hair. It was loosely tied in a hairband and beads of water could be seen on her forehead and neck. If this was the sight that could greet his mornings, but won’t until they were married, Mukundo realized that he should have answered his father’s question in affirmative. He was terribly disappointed that they couldn’t be married for an entire year.

“I will change and get ready after reaching there,” Piyali said as she dumped a small bag on the back seat, “Otherwise clothes would crumple on the way–” The she noticed his smoldering gaze and fell silent. She gulped hard and turned to look ahead. Mukundo started the car and got out of the house. After five minutes of driving he stopped at a secluded spot. He reached out and cupped her face. Then kissed her gently.

“Good morning,” he said after breaking the kiss and smiled. Even through her lowered eyes, her happiness showed.

They drove in silence for a while. Then he asked her, “Are you terribly disappointed, Piyali, that the wedding is postponed?”

She was startled, then blushed hard. Instead of answering, she asked him back, “What about you?”

Mukundo thought about what he had told his father the previous day and how he felt this morning and laughed. Then he answered truthfully, “I would like to believe that I am not disappointed, but I think I am.”

“Why would you like to believe you are not?”

“Because I think you should have time. Since Ma already knew and you also insisted that I ask them first, it was almost a given that the wedding will happen sooner rather than later. So, I didn’t say anything. But this technical issue looked like a blessing in disguise to me.”

“I should have time?”

“Yes, Piyali. You are–”

“Twenty. I know. Young by your standards. But I am not a child, Mukundo Babu. And there isn’t anything particularly unpredictable I am waiting for in my life. I have had my fill of education. I know where my career is to go and I have a job to get me started there. And you can’t still be harboring a notion that I will have some other prince charming in my life.”

“You are saying that you are old at heart,” Mukundo grinned.

“Old enough for you, I hope.”

Then Mukundo asked sincerely, “Does it bother you that I bring up your age into these discussions.”

“A bit. At times. But mostly it makes me want to prove that I will be good enough a wife to you.”

“You are and will be more than I ever deserved, Piyali. You don’t need to prove anything. And I promise that I will not bring it up again.”

“Thank you,” she looked close to tears. She must be overwhelmed.

“Now that it has been proven that you are old enough to be my grandmother,” Mukundo said to distract her with jokes, “Will you answer my original question? Are you terribly disappointed?”

“You really want me to answer it?”

“It would be fun.”

“Well, then. Yes, I am. But it is what it is. I can’t fight it and I don’t want you to fight it either.”

Mukundo chuckled, “Baba was sure you would be. He knows you better than I do, Piyali.”

“Kaku was sure of what? That I would be disappointed about the postponement of wedding.”

Mukundo nodded, grinning.

“He said that to you?”

Mukundo nodded again.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!” Piyali sounded so panicked that Mukundo instinctively pressed the brakes and brought the car to a stop.

“What happened?”

“How terrible is that! I must behave myself. Especially before Kaku. What kind of a sight I must have presented for him to say something like that?”

Mukundo smiled and pressed her hands, “You, Piyali, present the sight of a young woman in love. And I think it is a beautiful sight. Nothing needs to change.”

“But you are not going to tell him what I said, right? You won’t!”

“Calm down, Piyali. He is my father, not my best friend. I don’t report to him my conversations with my fiancée. I won’t report that even to my best friend.”

Piyali gulped hard and then looked doubly embarrassed. “Sorry for creating the ruckus,” she said in a small voice, “Let’s drive.”

“Piyali, I mentioned this because I thought it was funny. I didn’t think you would be so mortified. Just know this. Nobody is judging you for loving me. In fact, everybody is happy. That includes my parents. And especially Baba. Don’t ever be self-conscious. Okay?”

She nodded, then said, “Perhaps I am indeed not old enough to understand all this.”

“Nobody is complaining. Definitely not me. Come on, now. You were so happy just a few minutes ago. Let me see the love of my life happy again.”

She smiled, the frank, child-like grin that he had grown so fond of. He leaned forward and stole another kiss before starting the car again.

He stopped again after driving for another hour.

“We aren’t there yet, are we?”

“No. But this area on the left side of the road is a part of a reserve forest and it has a beautiful trail. I wanted to bring you here.”

“Won’t we be late for the wedding?”

“Wedding isn’t happening until evening.”

“But you had said… You had lied?”

Mukundo grinned, “I am not going to share all my plans for you with my parents, am I?”

Piyali giggled and climbed out of the car looking excited and happy.

—

To be continued

While Mohima gave a confused acceptance, it was Aurobindo’s reaction that pleasantly surprised Mukundo.

“Excellent. Finally, you realized it!” he said.

“Baba?”

“Haven’t we been seeing it for years, Mukundo? There is nobody else you care as much for.”

Mohima looked as confused as Mukundo was. What had his father seen that he himself seemed unaware of until a few days ago?

“I have no clue what you are talking about, Baba. But are you happy with it?”

“Yes, my son. I am more than happy with it. I really like the girl and was hoping that she would come to our home one day.”

“I guess we should talk to Kaku then,” Mukundo said.

“Don’t worry about that. I will talk to Debendra.”

—

Mukundo sat sprawled on the ground against the tree-trunk. Piyali lay on the ground with her head in his lap as he ran his hands through her hair.

“Did Kaku and Kaki never pester you to get married all these years, Mukundo Babu?” she asked.

He chuckled, “You have no idea. Baba was mostly a silent spectator. But Ma!”

“How did you manage to avoid it then?”

“She couldn’t have pushed me into a wedding pandal, could she?”

Piyali smiled, contentedly.

“I will tell you something,” she said, “But promise me that you would not pester me about it afterwards.”

“If it’s not worth pestering about, I won’t. But don’t ask me for a blanket commitment.”

“It’s not worth pestering about.”

“Then I won’t.”

“I really don’t want to work in academia.”

“Why?”

“There is so much politics and backstabbing and everything else, but so little learning.”

“True. But the corporate world can be worse. I have tried it.”

“Exactly. I didn’t mean that I want to work in corporate. I actually don’t want to work anywhere.”

“Now you don’t have to, Piyali, you know that.”

“But?”

“But wouldn’t you feel wasted?”

“Exactly. So, I would work. But would you be terribly disappointed if I didn’t really progress much? Just held on to my research and whatever position came my way.”

“I am pretty sure that if you stuck to your research, you won’t be able to stop progress from coming your way, Piyali. Yours is the kind of talent that shines through all the politics and backbiting. Don’t worry.”

“If that didn’t happen.”

“I would still be proud of you.”

“Does it mean a lot to you? My achievements?”

“I have told you. I take a pride in them. Even if I have no reason to–”

“You have every reason to.”

“How so?” he chuckled.

“You think genius is rare. Perhaps. But I think what is even rarer is the ability to spot and deal with a genius. When nobody around them has that ability, the genius goes nowhere. I am a genius only because you spotted it, Mukundo Babu, and you dealt with it. Kaku dealt with a lot of it too. But you were my rock all through. With you I was a genius. Without you I would have been a freak. You have every right to take pride in my achievements if you care for it.”

Mukundo felt his eyes brimming over. He blinked the tears back with some effort, “You give me too much credit, Piyali.”

“No. I don’t. Hopefully someday I will be able to explain why I love you so much. And only because you care, I will also try not to waste my life and achieve something more. It might be worth it, if it makes you proud.”

“Come here,” he nudged her to sit up. She did. He kissed her. Not passionately like earlier. But gently, sensuously. Then he kissed her closed eyelids and then the rest of her face. As he came down to her neck, his hands slipped inside her top and she rubbed herself against it. “Mukundo Babu!” she hissed as he was about to rip the clothes off her body. “Not here,” she pleaded through ragged breath.

Mukundo came to his senses, “Right. Sorry!” He said and let her go. She arranged herself beside him. He put his arms around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Have you always felt this way?” he asked picking up the conversation from where they had left.

“Yes. And when I needed help, I couldn’t think of anyone else to reach out to. But was also afraid if I was asking too much of you.”

“Never. You can never ask too much of me.”

An old memory hit him again and he grinned as he turned to look at her. “There is an old incident I wanted to ask you about. Not sure if you remember it.”

“What?”

“You must be about ten-years old or so at that time. Once you had come to me with Ma and Ma said you needed some help in your lessons. I had thought you were up to some mischief and you had run away. Did you really need help? Or were you playing a prank? Do you even remember?”

She grinned, “I remember very well.”

“That grin tells me you were up to some mischief.”

“I wasn’t. But it was good that you turned me away. It might have seemed that way to you.”

“What was it?”

“I can’t remember what theorem it was. But the way it was proved in the textbook didn’t make sense to me. It basically assumed certain property of numbers which, in a strict mathematical sense, wasn’t a given. I was quite baffled and was afraid that I would lose marks in exam if I didn’t understand and reproduce the proof given in the book.”

He maintained an impassive face, but she herself chuckled. “You can laugh, Mukundo Babu. I know now how that sounds.”

Mukundo obliged by laughing heartily, “Sounds like the first-world-problems equivalent for school children.” The syllabus was too lame for her!

“I didn’t clearly understand back then that those kinds of simplifications have to be done for early school-level Maths,” she offered an explanation.

“What did you do about that idiotic proof then?”

“I mugged it up and reproduced it in the examination.”

“Bravo! Just like a good Indian student should do.”

She chortled.

“And I presume you had to do that very often at school.”

She nodded.

“Well,” he smiled appreciatively, “Your survived!”

“I did! I survived till today. I couldn’t have imagined I would survive to be so happy one day.”

Mukundo kissed her forehead and she once again sat beside him, snug in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder.

—

To be continued

Mukundo found Mohima waiting for him in the hall.

“You are still awake, Ma? I had told you I will be late. Why didn’t you go to sleep?”

“You were with Piyali, Mukundo?”

Her tone didn’t bode well and he hadn’t wanted anyone to know. But he spoke with outward calmness, “Why are you asking that?”

“I saw her leaving with you.”

“Okay, so?”

“She was with you since afternoon?”

“Yes. She was. What’s wrong?”

“You tell me. What’s going on?”

“Ma! You know her. It’s not like she has any friends here. Or anywhere for that matter. I am the only one she even talks to. I have tried to include her in my social circle. You saw her here the other night too–”

“Why did she lie about it then? Why did she tell Debangi that she was with some – imaginary I believe – friends?”

Mukundo was trapped. He cursed himself inwardly for being careless, then slumped down on a chair.

“Ma! I was hoping to bring this up later – at a more suitable time. But you have been spying!”

“Oh, shut up, Mukundo. This is not a scandal we can afford.”

“There is no scandal unless somebody wants to deliberately see one. I want to marry her.”

“What?”

“I said it, Ma. I want to marry her.”

“You. Want. To. Marry. Who? Piyali?”

“I want to marry Piyali. Yes.”

“Since when?”

“What kind of a question is that, Ma? I don’t know since when. But right now, I want to.”

She shook her head, as if to shake away her confusion. “I mean, you two are what? Like dating?”

“Trying to. But looks like we got caught before we got anywhere with that.”

“So, you are going to marry her.”

“If she also wants to.”

“What does that mean? She knows you want to marry her, right? That’s why she went out with you.”

“Yes, she knows–”

“Piyali? Really, Mukundo? When did that–”

“Oh God, Ma! Do you have any objections?”

“I don’t know. I never thought about it– Will her parents agree?”

“You don’t seem to have much faith. Am I such an ineligible groom?”

“But they don’t even know. They must be told–”

“No. No, Ma. Stop there. They can’t know. Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“Because she doesn’t know what she wants, Ma. Not yet.”

“It can’t go on like this–”

“Ma! There will be no scandal. Either she will agree and we will marry. Or she will disagree and everything will remain as it is. Okay? Please Ma. Until then don’t interfere.”

Mukundo was this close to being sure that Piyali would say ‘yes’. But he wasn’t confident enough to assume it. He himself was restless and had to summon all his will power to stop himself from rushing her to a decision. The conversation with Mohima made it all the more difficult. Now he will have to figure out a way of keeping Piyali away from Mohima too. He texted her that she should meet him next morning in the library and not come to his room.

“Is something the matter?” came back her anxious reply.

“Nothing is the matter. Some guests are expected at home and I don’t want too many prying eyes.”

—

His mood lifted on seeing her the next day. She looked radiant. One’s state of mind definitely affected their physical appearance. Without even a drop of makeup, Piyali looked even more beautiful than last evening. She was happy, and it showed. And he felt proud of himself. For bringing her this happiness.

He smiled at her and pulled her in a hug. She came willingly, it felt just right. She had just washed her hair. It was wet and smelled of a fruity shampoo. He inhaled deeply. He planted a kiss on her forehead before releasing her. She went still and didn’t step back.

“Piyali!”

She rested her palms on his chest and looked up at him. He knew instantly what he saw in those eyes. Love! “There is something I have to discuss with you before I can give a final answer to your proposal,” she said, “But before any of that, before anything else happens or doesn’t happen, I have to tell you something.”

“Say it,” he said, his voice hoarse.

“I love you, Mukundo Babu. And I want you to… kiss me.”

Which man wouldn’t have gone senseless on hearing that? He did. Before she was even aware of finishing her sentence, she found his lips on hers, invading and demanding. It took her a moment to understand and then respond. Then she welcomed him. Her first kiss. Her first love! By the time he withdrew, he felt himself close to fainting. He could hardly imagine what her condition was. But at that moment both of them could have died and so long as they were in each other’s arms, he wouldn’t have cared.

“So, this isn’t a ‘yes’ yet?” he asked after he had caught his breath. He still had her face cupped in his hands.

“I can’t talk like this,” she said, panting, “Let me step away.”

He chuckled and released her. She literally took a few steps back before she started talking.

“Can you really marry me?” she asked.

What a weird question. He raised his eyebrows, but she looked sincere. So, he had to ask, “What on earth do you mean by that?”

“I mean, it’s not just about you, right? Would Kaku and Kaki agree? Family, relatives?”

“Your parents?” he added, smiling.

“For them I have a different worry…”

“What?”

“I don’t see why they would disagree, but if it all came out, and Kaki and Kaku didn’t like it, my parents will feel humiliated and they… They are so grateful to your family. For everything. They would be miserable if it came to that. And–”

“And?”

“And I would be too.”

“You have thought through the worst. But stop worrying. Nothing that diabolical is going to happen. This is not a Hindi movie. We are not living in a feudal society.”

He, then, told her how his mother had found out about them.

“And she looked surprised, but we have surprised even ourselves, haven’t we? She wasn’t offended at all,” he concluded.

That brought a smile to her face. “But you must talk to Kaku and Kaki and get their approval before ever talking to my parents or making it public.”

“Anything else? Is that a ‘yes’ yet?” he chuckled.

“No. First talk to them.”

“Oh, you little minx,” he almost pounced on her as he pressed his lips to hers again. But she started laughing and the kiss went nowhere. He laughed too.

As he held her close, and watched her laugh, he felt an almost paternal love for her. The sight was heart-achingly beautiful. Here was a young girl, happy with her life, laughing without a care in the world. Just the way she should be. Even in her younger days, when she hadn’t yet given up on the world and sent herself in depression over the lack of meaning in life, when he was awed with her self-sufficiency and maturity, this wasn’t a Piyali he had ever seen. He would imprint this scene forever in his heart and he would always remember that this was what they were together for.

She became aware of his gaze on her.

She stopped laughing, but continued to smile and asked, “What?”

“Nothing,” he shook his head and pulled her in a gentle embrace, “Just stay happy like this and all will be well.”

—

To be continued

Mukundo grinned as he read the note lying on his table.

“Can I invite you to a coffee this evening? -P” it said.

He turned around to see Piyali standing at the door.

“Well?” he said, still smiling, “You could just have asked.”

“It is easier now, because I see you are smiling.”

“Why would you expect otherwise?”

She shrugged. “I was just nervous.”

“So, what is this? A date?”

“You reached out, Mukundo Babu. This is me reaching out. And it can be a date, why not?”

—

Piyali stepped out of Mukundo’s room as a bundle of nervous excitement. She wasn’t as calm about a date as she had pretended in front of him. She quickly went home to pick up her purse and took a taxi to a beauty parlor slightly away from her home. All the extra services she was looking for today would have made the beautician in the familiar parlor inquisitive! Then she also needed to buy some cosmetics, since she owned practically nothing.

But once she came back home, she was confounded with a bigger problem. Her mother would definitely notice if she left the house all decked up. How would she explain it given that in past she had stubbornly refused to put any makeup even when her mother insisted on certain occasions like festivals or weddings? She donned the dress she had selected for the occasion – a baby pink salwar-kameez Mohima had gifted her for last poojo, dropped all her purchases in a large handbag along with a small mirror and slipped out of her house. She took refuge in the library. Mukundo was not at home yet; so she was sure nobody would disturb her there. It took her multiple attempts to get the lipstick right, since she had never put one before. The temptation to lick it off her lips was strong, but she resisted. Her hands trembled too much with the eyeliner; so, she ditched it in favor of her stick kajal – one piece of makeup that she had occasionally indulged in earlier too. Some other implements meant to put some color on various parts of her face also had to be abandoned after a few nervous and unsuccessful attempts. She looked at her watch and sighed. That was all she could achieve if she wanted to meet him in time. She called him to tell him that she would meet him at the gate of his house and he need not come to hers, then sneaked out of the library, carefully avoiding other living creatures present in the house, even Mohima’s pet dog!

—

“Wow!” Mukundo couldn’t help exclaiming when she opened the car door and took the passenger seat.

She pretended like she didn’t hear him and looked straight ahead. Mukundo noticed her clutching her handbag nervously and smiled. He didn’t say anything just then and drove on.

Piyali was relived and happy that on their date, Mukundo not only kept the conversation up, he also kept her talking throughout. Asking questions, encouraging and taking the conversation in directions where she felt comfortable voicing her opinions. On previous occasions, when they had stepped out to see a play or attend some event, they had talked a bit, but never before had they set aside so many hours just for that. It was almost seven in the evening when Piyali noticed time.

“It would be dinner time soon,” she exclaimed, “We need to leave.” She called for the bill and paid it despite Mukundo’s objections.

“This was my invitation,” she insisted.

“You aren’t yet earning, you know, Piyali,” he made one last attempt to dissuade her.

“It may be pittance, but Ph. D. pays you.”

He smiled and threw up his hands.

He didn’t start the car after they were seated inside. She looked at him after waiting for a while. He returned her gaze and then took her hands in his. “You always look beautiful, Piyali,” he said, “I don’t know if others have told you this, but to me, you always do. I love you the way you are – comfortable in your own skin.”

Piyali stopped breathing. Did he mean to say that her extra attempts at looking good had put him off.

He continued, “But today – I realized that your looks could kill, Piyali. Today you could totally give me a heart attack. Today you look out of the world and I am going to take some liberties.”

Piyali was too relieved to immediately realize that he was raising her hands, but once he kissed them, she felt a warmth envelope her. It was awkward, but she leaned across the gear box and hugged him as well as she could.

“I don’t want to go home right now,” Mukundo said, “Can I invite you to a dinner date right now?”

She smiled, then laughed. “Yes. And you can pay too. Dinner will be too expensive for my meagerly savings.”

“With pleasure,” he grinned.

Her original plan on coming back from the planned coffee date was to tell Mukundo that she needed to pick something up from the library so that he wouldn’t take her home. In the library she would have wiped her makeup before going home. But they came back too late after dinner.

As they approached home, she was left with no other option. Sheepishly she pulled out a tissue from her handbag and started wiping her face.

“What are you doing?” Mukundo asked, startled.

She sighed and explained her reasoning – haltingly, overcoming her embarrassment with difficult. He pulled over and turned towards her.

“We can’t tell anybody right now. Not until you are sure and have made a decision. In my favor, hopefully. Once you have decided, I will lose no time in telling everyone, and then you won’t have to worry about answering to anyone. Until then, you can come out with me without makeup, Piyali. Any time! You don’t have to impress me.”

“I don’t even like applying makeup,” she blurted.

He laughed, “Then don’t, you stupid genius. You don’t have to. Alright now. Finish wiping whatever you have to. I don’t want you to struggle in a moving car.”

She blushed hard and started wiping her face vigorously to hide it.

—

To be continued

“Please don’t blame yourself.”

“How did I not see it happening, Piyali? How did nobody see it happening? I can’t imagine–”

“I wasn’t here. In childhood I had never felt my isolation so badly. But college, and then– I started seeing the worst in people. And the more I learned about the world, the more I despaired. There was no meaning in it. There is no meaning in it–”

Mukundo shuddered as he realized that her questions about meaning of life were not mere intellectual curiosities. They had become a question of life and death for her. Her genius and wisdom had become the noose around her neck.

“Perhaps your conclusion is right, Piyali. Perhaps there indeed is no big meaning to our lives. Perhaps all the achievements we take so much pride in are nothing at all in the overall scheme of things. But we still live. And perhaps the only meaning we can find is in our relationship with people around us. It might be limited if you think of the whole wide world at the same time. But perhaps this is all we have some sort of control over. The meaning we find in each other. And I don’t mean that you have to decide on our conversation from this morning. Just that—if there is a connection you feel with me – howsoever slight or strong – that is a starting point. A good enough starting point. Do you understand?”

She nodded and said, “And it is very precious to me, Mukundo Babu. I didn’t know who else I can reach out to.”

“And I–” Mukundo shuddered again as I recalled that he had laughed at her when she had come seeking his help. Thank God, he had gone back to her and gone back in time too.

“Let’s go back,” he said standing up, “Everybody is worried.”

“What will I tell them?”

“Tell them that you were just taking an online course about tying up different kinds of knots, including innocuous ones like tying a camping tent. It was a coincidence that your mother saw you with the noose. And tell them that you were so flustered because you had hoped to dissuade them from making you talk to this guy – whatever his name was. But the discovery of that noose made everything confused. Tell them that you are only twenty and do not need to decide on getting married now.”

She gulped hard, “I don’t know if I have the strength for all this.”

He extended his hands to her, “Come now. I will talk to Kaku, okay?”

—

Debendra Banerjee was not easily pacified. But Mukundo kept at it.

“She is no longer a child, Kaku. You have to let her make her decisions.”

“One moment she is too young to get married, the other moment she is so old that we can’t even ask her a few questions. Make up your mind, Mukundo.”

“And why do you think both can’t be correct. She has just had to manage too much at too early an age, Kaku. She was sent to deal with an independent life as an undergraduate student at an age when most kids are still being escorted to schools by their parents. She, being the way she is, has probably fought off much more than her share of jealousies and politics at college. She has to start a job now. Give her a breather. We owe her that much. And she is not running out of time. All her life lies ahead of her.”

“She is not running out of time, but I am.” The elderly man suddenly looked defeated.

“What?”

“I am dying. I don’t have even a year left.”

“Kaku! What has happened? Why does nobody know?”

“Your Baba knows, Mukundo. And he has been kind enough to hire that boy to help me with my job, instead of throwing me out of it. But I have so little time left. I have to settle things. Priyendra can’t take care of his sister. He barely manages his own job and life. If she is not settled before–”

“Kaku, please listen to me,” somehow Mukundo didn’t have the heart to tell the old man that his daughter didn’t need to be taken care of in the way he thought; so instead he said, “I promise you. Piyali is my responsibility. I mean it. Let her live her life at her pace, Kaku. She would be all right and I will always be there to ensure this. Please, Kaku. For her sake and for your own – don’t stress over her wedding. It’s pointless.”

Debendra Banerjee sighed, “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

—

“I want to ask you something,” Piyali said. They were in the library, reading a book each, and occasionally chatting.

“Shoot.”

“Why did you never get married?”

He sat up and looked at her searchingly.

“Please don’t’ try to think what answer I want,” she added, “Just tell me honestly, if you can. If not, it’s okay to not answer.”

He laughed. “No. I wouldn’t even dream of trying to mislead you. The fact is, that there has been no good reason; just that I could never make up my mind strongly enough about anyone. Never connected with anyone enough.”

“But you have so many friends. And you seem to connect fine with people.”

“Yes. I am not complaining about my social life. But that unequivocal feeling, where you think that you want to spend your life with this person, no matter what, never came.”

She sighed and threw her head back on the chair as she rocked the chair absentmindedly.

“Piyali,” Mukundo said softly, “There is perhaps an unasked part of the question there. I will answer it as well as I can. Yes – I feel that strong connect with you. For a long time, I was almost afraid of accepting it. Because you always seemed so out of reach. And now, after knowing what you have been going through, I fear that I could not maintain that connect over last few years. Partly because you were away. But largely also because of the same fear. I was afraid to reach out. Now, I am not. And that gives me a lot of hope.”

She nodded silently.

Mukundo asked, “Have you sent your acceptance to ISI Bangalore? And refusal to others?”

She shook her head, “But I have to do it this week.”

“Even if you decide to go away, Piyali, I promise that we will keep talking and you will not have to feel lonely and excluded ever again. But I would like you to stay here. And not just for my sake.”

She looked at him questioningly.

“There is something I have to tell you. About your Baba. His health.”

She grew agitated as he explained the fatal advanced-stage stomach-cancer her father was suffering from.

“You must keep your calm. You know that Priyendra will not be of much help in the coming days. Your parents will need you. Do you remember what I had said earlier? That the only meaning we can find in our life is in people around us. Seeing your parents through this difficult time would mean a lot to you. Trust me.”

“I will stay,” she said after a long pause.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

—

To be continued

“I will have to talk a lot to explain myself. So, please be patient and please listen to me fully before coming to a decision.”

He paused to see if she would say something. She didn’t; so he continued, “I don’t pity you, Piyali. Like most other people, I have always been in awe of you. And I have felt proud of you. Very irrationally, I must say. I have this dialog with myself sometimes, where one part of me asks the other part – why are you so proud of her achievements. What do those have to do with you. But the other part remains adamant in feeling the pride. And I have loved you for a long time. Not always romantically, of course. You were so young. But I suppose you can’t help loving someone about whom you think so much. All the time. I missed you so much during the years you spent away from Kolkata for your studies. I never told you any of this; in fact, I worked hard to not accidentally reveal any of this, because I didn’t think you would care and I was terrified of being snubbed by you. A fear that, I now think, you understand. But then, over last few days, you revealed yourself a bit more, Piyali. A connection that I had always felt finally seemed to be getting established. But when I realized last night that you might be thinking of going away again, and even getting married, I was… I don’t know what I felt. I didn’t know what I should have felt. Then you talked about a meaningful relationship. Between us. I think I subconsciously thought that you wouldn’t be averse to the idea of us being together. Perhaps vainly I even thought that I might be the only person– I shouldn’t have blurted out like that, Piyali. But it wasn’t thoughtless and it was definitely not, God forbid, me pitying you. I feel a lot of things for you, but that is not an emotion I know where it concerns you.”

“Mukundo Babu–”

“No. Please let me complete. I may not be able to gather strength to speak again. There are a thousand reasons for you to say – No. You may not feel this way about me at all. And that is fine. Or as I had said earlier, you are twenty! You don’t need to take this decision now. Or that–” he paused here and took a deep breath, “You are twenty and I am thirty-two. Too old for you.” He didn’t notice her startled look here. “Or for no reason at all. You are not obliged to give a reason for refusing. But the one reason that isn’t valid is that I am pitying you.”

With that he stood up and stepped back.

“So much is at stake, Piyali. I don’t want to hope for more and lose what we have. So please don’t be upset with me if what I said is not acceptable. What we have right now is not something I want to lose. And I hope you don’t either.”

She stood up and came near him. “I am–” she started speaking, but soon looked lost for words. “I need time,” she finally blurted.

Mukundo sighed in relief. “Of course. Take as much time as you need. Don’t take any decisions in a hurry. And Piyali, please, keep talking to me.”

She nodded.

Mukundo left with both trepidation and hope weighing on his heart.

—

By later afternoon, Mukundo was restless. What was she thinking? What were her considerations? What was she doing right then? And, most importantly, how was she? Unable to wait for her to come back to him, he made his way towards her house. A tense sight awaited him there.

“For God’s sake, speak up, Pihu. What is wrong? What is going on?” her father was screaming.

She sat on a plastic chair, still like he had seen her go earlier in the day, when he had started speaking to her.

The door to her tiny room was open and her mother seemed to be busy turning everything there upside down.

Mukundo grew nervous. Did it have anything to do with their conversation earlier? Had she told anything to her parents? Was there reaction unfavorable?

“What is going on?” he croaked with difficulty.

Piyali jumped out of the chair on hearing his voice and gave a miserable look to him. His heart sank.

“Ask this wretched girl, Mukundo, what does she think she is. She wasn’t picking up Pronab’s phone this morning. So, Debangi went to her room and guess what she found her with.”

He displayed the rope he was holding in his hands. It was Mukundo’s turn to jump in shock.

“What is this?” He didn’t really need an answer. It was a noose, plain and simple.

“What is so wrong in her life, ask her, Mukundo? We are not rich, but you and your Baba have always taken care of her needs. The best schools, the best education – she is spoiled for choice in the jobs she can take, she is spoiled for choice in everything life has to offer. But this is the choice she opts for?”

Mukundo looked back at Piyali. She was no longer looking at either of them. Her mother came out of her room and slumped on the chair Piyali had vacated.

“Hold on, Kaku, Kaki. Piyali, come with me.” He took her hands in his and led her out of the house. He didn’t have the patience to go all the way back to his house and the library. So, instead he made for the shade of a tree nearby and stood facing her.

“It was some kind of a misunderstanding, wasn’t it?” he said, “You didn’t really have that noose for—Why didn’t you tell them that?”

“I need to explain a lot.”

“What? What does that mean? Were you really–” Mukundo panicked, but quickly reined himself in, “Sorry! Tell me, what do you need to explain?”

She sat down on the ground, resting her back against the tree trunk and started talking. It had been many month, perhaps over a year since she had found herself saddled with extreme depression. The situation must have been building up over the years but had become dangerous now.

“So that noose was indeed–” Mukundo started asking in a trembling voice.

“Not any longer,” she hastily interrupted him, “Not since you knocked at my door that day.”

Mukundo sat down in front of her and took her hands in his. “Thank God, I at least did that. I had been such a jerk earlier. I–”

—

To be continued

“Who is Pronab? And what about Bangalore?” Mukundo asked, confused.

“She did not tell you, Mukundo? This boy – Seema had brought the proposal. A very good job. Tell him about it, Pihu. He would understand much better than we would.”

“He is an IIT graduate. He works for Google.”

“And Bangalore? You are indeed going to Bangalore?”

“Kolkata is not good enough for her, Mukundo,” her father replied when she didn’t.

“I will get going, Kaku. It’s late.” With that he left. After he was out of their eyesight, he started running. Running away from there. Running away from her. He wanted to scream his lungs out.

Once back in his room he took deep breaths. As if his lungs had run out of air and he could not inhale enough of it. The feeling of betrayal was choking him. The day’s newspaper was lying on the table. He grabbed it and tore at its pages violently. After he had shredded those inanimate pages completely, he gained some semblance of control over himself. Then he sat down to think.

What was he feeling?

Betrayal.

Why?

Because he had come to expect that she cared about him, that she would stay in Kolkata for him – especially given that ISI Bangalore was in no way better than ISI Kolkata for her career. And that – perhaps once day – she would reciprocate the feelings he had for her. He definitely hadn’t expected that she would get married to some Tom, Dick, Harry at the first chance she got and run away to a distant city for no good reason. Her parents didn’t have that kind of influence on her.

What reason did he have for these expectations?

And this is where his anger turned to self-loathing. Because the answer was – he had no reasons whatsoever. It was his fantasy running wild. That too without his conscious knowledge. He didn’t realize he had started expecting all this. If he had, he would have known to crush those expectations before they ever become so potent. He would have known that if she were at all to be romantically inclined, it would be for a man ten-years his junior.

He needed to fix his head, and his expectations from her.

—

She came to meet him the next day and slumped into a chair in his room.

“So, big plans, eh?” he asked, faking cheerfulness.

She didn’t seem to notice his cheerfulness.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said, rubbing her face against her hands, “What should I do?”

“How am I supposed to know, Piyali,” Mukundo chuckled, still preoccupied with his own misery, “You are the genius one here.”

She looked up startled. Her face blanched.

“You are angry at me!” she said, astonished.

Agitated, he stood up and started pacing the room.

“Why are you getting married?” he asked.

“I don’t know if I am getting married. But Baba is insisting.”

“So? Have you always done what your Baba insisted on?”

“No. Not when I knew what I wanted to do.”

“Huh?”

“I mean that I would have resisted Baba if I knew that I can live my life alone.”

“With due respect to your academic achievements, Piyali, and even to your maturity, you are twenty right now. Why do you have to take a decision like that now? You have your whole life ahead of you?”

“And that prospect is frightening.”

“What. Do. You. Mean?”

She buried her face in his hands, “Nothing.” Then she looked up, “But it doesn’t matter if I have to face the question now, when I am twenty, or I postpone it to when I am twenty-five or thirty. This question will remain. What do I do? Do I decide to remain alone? And I have to admit it Mukundo Babu, that unlike you, that prospect terrifies me. But it isn’t like there is a very good alternative. Marrying someone Baba chooses seems even more terrifying. Even my parents don’t understand me or find it difficult to cope with me. How well is a stranger chosen by them supposed to do? So then what option is left? That I find someone compatible with me? Well, the prospects are laughable. Forget romantic relationships, Mukundo Babu, I never had any meaningful relationship even with my family. Other than with you, I have had no meaningful relationships at all. Either I freak them out, or they bore the hell out of me. What do I do, then?”

As she spoke her heart out, the despair that had driven her to tie that noose for herself returned. Then the stunned look on Mukundo’s face drove her to further despair. She shouldn’t have brought this mess to him, her sinking heart seemed to scream. She stood up abruptly and made to leave.

“Wait, Piyali.”

“I’m sorry, Mukundo Babu. I shouldn’t–”

“Marry me, Piyali.” He blurted.

Her reaction came after a few seconds. It took her time to register what he had said. And then her face contorted as if in pain.

“No, no, no, no,” she cried out, “Don’t take pity on me, Mukundo Babu. Don’t do this. I can’t take your pity.”

Mukundo had surprised himself with his thoughtless proposal and he could not react in time. When he came to, she had already run away. He instinctively made his way towards her house but stopped midway. She had started crying, he recalled. How likely it was that she would go home in that condition. And then he knew where she would be.

—

In the reading corner of the library, she hadn’t fallen asleep this time. She had stopped crying, but was still sitting with her face buried in her hands.

She looked up when she heard his footsteps and immediately looked away.

“Don’t run away, Piyali. Please listen to me,” he said and knelt near her chair.

She remained seated with her head hung down. She spoke slowly, “I am ashamed of myself, Mukundo Babu. I shouldn’t have said all I said. Please let me be. I have humiliated myself sufficiently.”

“I spoke hastily, Piyali. But the thought was not hasty.”

She went still on hearing that.

—

To be continued

The play was about a sculptor, who had gone crazy towards the end, still at a young age, in trying to perfect the statue of a woman he loved. Piyali looked thoughtful after coming out of the theatre. Mukundo led her to coffee shop. After they had ordered, he asked her, “What are you thinking?”

“What is in a statue? Why go mad for a statue?”

“He was trying to find meaning in his art and his love, wasn’t he?”

“Meaning! Yes – why is it that some people have this impulse to find meaning in their lives – usually resulting in much unhappiness and misery, while most people just go about theirs happily, without bothering with such stuff.”

Mukundo thought for a moment before speaking, “It may not be much of an answer, but my conjecture is that everyone wants to find meaning. Those who go about their lives happily, as you put it, have perhaps managed to find it in simpler, even trivial, things. The restless souls yearn for more.”

She gave a slight start, then appeared to ruminate over it. After a while she said, “That makes sense. And I suppose when we stop finding meaning in simpler things, we become restless souls.”

“You are talking about something specific now. What is it?”

“Promise me you won’t freak out.”

“Depends on how scandalous the revelation is going to be. Come on, now. You can tell me.”

“I didn’t think about the question of meaning until a few years ago. Somehow learning more and more itself seemed to give meaning to life. But–”

“But?”

She sighed and leaned forward, supporting her forearms on the table and staring into her coffee cup, “But at some point of time I started realizing that all that learning had led me to extreme faithlessness. I don’t mean in religious sense. But in the sense of believing in something, believing in anything at all. A political system, a value system. Anything.”

“But that’s a good thing, isn’t it? Questioning the existing belief?”

“It is good when you expect to get to some higher truth at the end of it. In your faithless questioning, what you really aspire to achieve is something higher on which you can finally place your faith.”

“Like?”

“Like think of people who questioned the divine rights of kings, who questioned the feudal systems, who questioned the practice of slavery. What were they doing? Putting their faith in a republic or a democracy, putting their faith in a world where your birth doesn’t determine who you are, putting a faith in a world where human dignity is upheld for all. But what happens? Democracy becomes another tool in the hands of powerful to oppress the weak, capitalism leads to even more inequality and erases those mechanisms that could have supported the poor in a feudal society, and in the free societies we still have people living worse than slaves, with even lesser hope for their betterment because their slavery is not even acknowledged. And once you read enough history, you can’t help seeing that this is repeated again and again. The labels change, the actors change, the accepted principles change, but the society doesn’t change. It always has masters and slaves, oppressor and oppressed, bigots and victims–” she realized she had been talking for a while and chuckled in embarrassment, “Please tell me you are not freaked out.”

“Any person with an iota of thinking power should be asking these questions. I would freak out if you hadn’t been asking these. But what you have done is taken them to their logical conclusion.”

“Which is?”

“That there may be no meaning in life.”

“What does one do then?”

“One still lives, Piyali. We still live.”

She flushed on hearing that. It was just a coincidence that he should say something like that, wasn’t it? He couldn’t have known!

“Of course,” she said and took a big gulp of her now lukewarm coffee.

—

Mukundo had made a deliberate attempt to include her in his social life. A few of his friends had gathered in his house that evening and he had invited Piyali too. She wasn’t talking much, but he noticed contentedly that she was listening with interest and didn’t look bored or excluded.

He returned his attention to Subodh, a new convert to Vedic ideals, who had been going on and on for a while about how everything, every piece of knowledge know to humans today was already contained in the Vedas.

“There is a complete description of how aeroplanes are made in…”

“Subodh!” he interrupted, “People who make those claims really need to read Vedas. Vedas say nothing about these things.”

“And how do you know? Have you read Vedas yourself?”

“No. But I have read people who has read Vedas and…” suddenly he remembered Piyali’s presence. He looked at her expectantly.

She cleared her throat and spoke, “I have read Vedas. In translation, of course. It is good poetry. Not that I have a particular taste in poetry. But those who do say so. It definitely doesn’t talk about aeroplanes, quantum mechanics or relativity.”

“It is not literal. You have to go deep into it.”

“Aeroplanes, quantum mechanics and relativity are already difficult to understand concepts. Why would one make it even more obscure? What purpose does it serve?”

“This knowledge was to be transmitted orally. They couldn’t have done it if they created equations like our modern scientists. They had to put everything in memorable verses.”

Piyali sighed and leaned back. She wasn’t going to indulge in this foolishness any more. But Mukundo was bolstered by her support of his argument.

“That brings up an even more curious question, Subodh,” he said grinning, “Our divinely inspired ancestors had discovered aeroplanes, but not writing?”

Everybody burst out laughing at that. Subodh used the opportunity to make light of the situation and change the topic of conversation. He knew he was losing the ground.

After everybody left, Mukundo decided to walk with Piyali to her house. He was in a good mood.

“That was so much fun, Piyali,” he said, laughing, “You should have seen Subodh’s face when you said – I have read Vedas. It is good poetry.”

“I was afraid if people would take offense.”

“Oh, you need to stop being so self-conscious. I, for one, am very happy to have a walking and talking encyclopedia at hand.”

She chuckled. Then asked, “But do you think your friend has changed his opinion?”

He sighed. “No. I don’t think so. But hopefully he won’t spout them when I am around.”

“Why are people so blind? Information, knowledge, learning can be staring in their face, but they turn the other way.”

“I don’t know, Piyali. Perhaps they are also on a quest for meaning. But it has gone horribly wrong. They search for meaning has gotten stuck on a search for some golden identity, linked to a golden past that doesn’t exist.”

“What is one to do in face of such stubborn stupidity?”

“What is one to do? One continues living, Piyali. That’s what one does. One still lives. And sometimes laughs.”

They had reached her house. Her parents were sitting outside.

“There she is. Pihu! We got Pronab’s number. You put it in your phone. He has said he would call you tomorrow. You should talk to him to your heart’s content, okay? And then decide. His job is in Bangalore too and I see no problems at all.”

Beside him Piyali had gone completely still.

—

To be continued

Piyali hadn’t thought of her longing for Mukundo’s friendship in those terms. The sudden question had been like a kick in her guts. It made her look desperate. And the self-sufficiency Mukundo had so correctly recognized in her had become such a second nature to her that it didn’t let her admit to such a need. She hated herself for letting it become so obvious to Mukundo. And she was mad at Mukundo for… She didn’t know what she should be mad at him for. The very fact that he understood her better than anyone else made him so dear to her. Could she fault him for doing that once again? No! She had only herself to hate. How would she ever face him again?

—

Mukundo knocked at her door. He had thought long and hard. And he now knew that there was only one way to get through to her. He would have to expose his own vulnerabilities to her. It would be a huge gamble with his emotions. But the rot Piyali’s emotions seem to be heading towards was even more dangerous. He had to do something. He couldn’t have let her go on that destructive path. She had her entire life before her. The life of a brilliant achiever. He couldn’t just silently witness all of that crumble into pieces, just because he was too afraid of being snubbed by her.

Piyali looked startled to see him and stared at him agape.

“Can I come in?”

Wordlessly, she stepped aside. Her small room was neatly arranged. On the narrow bed were spread out a bunch of envelopes. Those were the different offer letters, he realized. Was she trying to make a decision?

He pushed a couple of envelopes aside to make space for himself and sat down.

“Have you decided what offer you are going to take up?”

She shrugged, “Don’t know. Perhaps Bangalore.”

“Why?”

She gave him an inscrutable look and asked, “Do you have a suggestion?”

“They are all good institutes and I would like it if you stayed in Kolkata.”

She drew in a sharp breath and looked away.

“Baba and Ma are after my life to get me married,” she looked back at him and said slowly, “I can’t stand it. I would rather stay away.”

He was startled. Married? Piyali?

“Who will they get you married to?” he spoke foolishly.

“Too much of a freak to get married, am I not?” she replied and smiled. A sad and self-deprecating smile.

“Super intelligent. So intelligent that you make people nervous.”

“Do I make you nervous too?”

‘Yes’ would have been his automatic answer. But by then Mukundo had recovered from his initial surprise the idea of her marriage had sprung on him. And he knew that if he really said that, he would push her away once again. She was trying to reach out, and he had to take a step towards her.

“What do you think?” he asked, hoping to get some clue of what will satisfy her.

“You shouldn’t be,” to his relief she obliged by answering him, “You are an intelligent man yourself.”

He smiled. He could give her a truthful reply, “I am an intelligent man, yes. I am intelligent enough to know that you are a genius and that that there is nobody else I know, including myself, who is like you. You still make me nervous, sometimes, but not so much that we can’t have a meaningful conversation.”

She bit her lips and mumbled, “I am sorry for everything.”

“No!” he objected emphatically, “I am sorry. For not allowing that meaningful conversation to happen.”

“I don’t want to impose myself on you, Mukundo Babu.”

“What I am very truthfully trying to tell you, Piyali, is that I want those meaningful conversations to happen. And the reason I was not letting that happen is because I had the same fear as you. That of imposing myself on you. But if I don’t think that you are imposing on me, and you don’t think that I am doing that to you — am I right in that assumption, Piyali? You don’t find me an imposition, do you?”

She shook her head, biting her lips harder.

He stood up and went closer to her, “Then let’s end this unnecessary misery, Piyali. Know that I am not only available to talk, but I am happy to do so. I am eager to be a friend.”

When she did not respond, keeping her eyes glued to the floor, his confidence faltered again. He asked desperately, “Does that make you uncomfortable?”

She looked up, shook her head and then in a completely unexpected gesture, threw her arms around him for a hug. He was startled into inaction at first. But only for a few moments. Then he wrapped his arms back around her. “Everything will be all right,” he murmured to her, even as he inwardly cursed himself for his own feelings that the hug had made clear as daylight to him. He had gotten himself into trouble!

—

Mukundo had said he had an appointment just then. But he had asked her repeatedly before leaving if she was okay. And then hesitantly he had asked if she would like to go to a play with him that evening. He thought she would enjoy it. She had agreed.

Presently she opened her cupboard and picked out a rope that was knotted into a noose. She hid it in a far corner, under her clothes. If he had been late by a day, she would have taken the extreme step. When he had knocked, she had been looking at all her job offer letters. She had been wondering if it was possible to find any meaning in them at all. Any meaning for life, for the life that lay ahead of her. A meaning that would keep her away from the noose she had made for herself! She was failing to find it, like she had so often over last few months. But then, he had knocked.

—

To be continued