Mish' Fiction

“I… I didn’t remember it. I’m not sure when I bought it–” Paritosh replied, not meeting her eyes.

“In Lonavala.”

“Excuse me?”

“It was on the mannequin in that shop where you had stopped to buy Ms. Banerjee her dress.”

Paritosh found himself tongue-tied. He remembered it very well. He had intended to gift it to Rupali someday. But what was he to tell Maya which wouldn’t upset her?

“Do you love me, Paritosh?”

“Maya! What–”

“Just answer me.”

“You have been my greatest support, Maya–”

“But an imposition all the same.”

“That’s not true. Have I made you feel like you are imposing? If so, I will correct it.”

“Why did you even propose to me, Paritosh?”

“It was the right thing to do, Maya and–”

“Right thing to do!” she snorted.

He hesitated, realizing that he had been honest, but not right.

“I can’t blame you, Paritosh,” she spoke after a moment of silence, “I have known. I have always known. But love can be desperate. I have loved you for so long that I grew desperate to believe in its reciprocity. But that is not how it works, does it? Just because your relationship with Amrit didn’t work out and just because she hurt you in the most unimaginably horrible way possible, it didn’t mean that my love will be reciprocated.”

“I haven’t cheated on you, Maya,” Paritosh said desperately and, as he immediately realized, ineffectually.

“I know that. It wouldn’t have been the ‘right thing to do’. No, you haven’t take her or any other woman to bed since you have been in a relationship with me. But I think you should give her your long-cherished gift. She is quite moon-eyed around you, in case you have not noticed.”

Paritosh slid on the bed and buried his face in his hands.

Maya patted his shoulder and said in a tired voice, “I must pack my things now. Good bye.”

—

“Mamma not home… Mamma not home…” Meenal said while fiddling with her toys.

“Yes, Meenu. It’s Saturday. She will come on Monday. But Papa is home, isn’t he?”

“Meenu loves Papa.”

“Papa also loves Meenu.”

“Mamma loves Papa.”

“Does she, Meenu?” Paritosh smiled amusedly at her daughter. Could she know Rupali’s mind? He ached to know it himself.

“Meenu loves Mamma,” Meenal continued to announce in her flat, droning voice.

“That she does,” Paritosh said and sighed, “We will go out, shall we, Meenu?”

“Go out… Go to park…”

“Shall we go to a cricket match, Meenu?”

“Cricket match.”

“Let’s go.”

—

Rupali had invited Mihir for the match. They were to go to a movie after that. The small rented stadium was sparsely populated. Perhaps only the family members of the players were there. So when Paritosh entered with Meenal in the tow, Rupali noticed them immediately. She was by herself because Mihir and Soumitra had stepped out to get some cold drinks and snacks. She got up and hastened to meet them.

“Dr. Khanna?”

He looked flustered for a moment, then gathered himself, “Hi Rupali!”

“I didn’t think you were so interested in local cricket,” she smiled nervously.

“I had come this way for some shopping,” he lied, “I thought I would stop by.”

“Mamma… Mamma…” Meenal drew attention to herself.

“Hi Meenu,” Rupali bent to talk to her, “How are you, sweetheart?”

“How are you, sweetheart?” Meenal responded mechanically. Rupali smiled.

As she stood up she saw Mihir and Soumitra coming back. She grew nervous. Mihir knew nothing about Paritosh and her other job. And she did not want to tell him.

“Didi. Dr. Khanna?” Soumitra was surprised, “Hello Sir.”

“Hello Soumitra. Hello…” he looked at Mihir.

“That’s Mihir,” Rupali introduced reluctantly, “And Mihir, this is Dr. Khanna. Prof. Paritosh Khanna. He teaches at the university.”

“Hello Dr. Khanna.”

“Hello Mihir. You are Rupali’s friend, I believe.”

“Boyfriend,” Mihir corrected quickly.

Rupali made a feeble attempt at a smile and prayed furiously that Meenal didn’t feel the need to address her just then.

Paritosh sensed the same danger and acted immediately, “Nice to meet you all. I am getting late. So I will take your leave. Bye, Ms. Banerjee.”

Rupali could barely acknowledge his goodbye. She wondered if Meenal understood the situation and that’s why she followed her father silently.

“That girl was strange,” Mihir whispered to her as they made their way back to their seats.

“Not strange. She is autistic,” Rupali replied dryly.

“Whatever! She looked strange.”

Rupali stayed silent.

Her outward calmness belied the storm brewing in her head. Why had Paritosh suddenly turned up at the cricket match? He must have remembered that she would be here. Did he want to talk to her? About what? Why did he leave once Mihir appeared on the scene? He, obviously, knew that her brothers would be there. Their presence wouldn’t have been unexpected.

And what had come upon Mihir? Why did he have to declare that he was her boyfriend?

She asked him that when they came out of the movie hall. The film had been boring and hardly worth talking about.

“Well, I had to,” he replied, “I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

“What way?”

“Like he would jump on you the moment you were alone.”

“Oh for God’s sake, Mihir.”

“Why, he is your uncle or something? How do you know him?”

“An acquaintance, that’s it. And you are my boyfriend, eh?”

“I’m not?” he stopped short and stared at her.

“Well, we never talked about it. And you are leaving in a few weeks.”

“Yes. And I intend to talk about it now. I want to meet your parents.”

Rupali inhaled sharply.

“What? Rupali?”

“Our paths are different, Mihir. We had some fun times. But…”

“Fun times?”

“I need to go home now. It’s quite late.”

“Wait a minute. What is it? Is there someone else? Dr. Khanna?”

Rupali got irritated. “Dr. Khanna knows me too well to be in love with me or to want to marry me. And you – Mihir – know me too little.”

“What kind of a woman you are, Rupali? You have slept with me.”

“So?” she glared at him.

“And you don’t think we should get married?”

“No,” she retorted, “I’m sorry if it offends your sensibilities. But I need to go now.” She strode off to the nearest bus-stop, aware that Mihir was too dumbfounded to follow her.

She had been unfair to him, she rued on the bus home. Most women would be happy to be with a man who didn’t take sexual relationships lightly. Mihir wanted to marry her, he had decided so before they ever slept together. There was some gratification to be derived from that. That didn’t stop her from feeling annoyed that he would take it for granted. Still she would have handled it more sensitively had he not irritated her by announcing himself to be her boyfriend in front of Dr. Khanna. What was Dr. Khanna doing in that cricket match anyway? And in what way did he look at her that Mihir should get so possessive? Had she missed something? Ugh! She should stop letting her mind wander. There was Maya waiting for Dr. Khanna at home.

—

To be continued

Paritosh refused to meet her eyes the next morning, he wouldn’t even acknowledge her presence, even though Maya was not around. Rupali grew remorseful. Perhaps she had hurt him the previous day. Perhaps she had been insensitive. She also felt sad. She had come to rely on their camaraderie. They weren’t best buddies, but he was the only adult in her life who knew all about her circumstances and treated her with respect. The half an hour she spent in the house while he went about his business made her acutely aware of how much she would miss it if that camaraderie were to disappear. Throughout the day she planned her little speech to Paritosh, which would end their awkwardness, but in the evening he came back with Maya. She had no opportunity to tell him anything. Even when it was time for her to leave, Maya came to Meenal’s room to relieve her; he didn’t. The next morning Maya was still there. Now that the marriage was on the cards, she didn’t have scruples about being seen by the house-staff.

When Maya came back that evening too, Rupali felt like she would fall apart. She hovered around hoping to have one quick word with Paritosh alone. But neither Maya was in a mood to leave Paritosh alone, nor Paritosh seemed interested in sparing her a glance. At last she could not help herself and went to the Paritosh’ bedroom, where a strange sight greeted her. Maya had literally turned the room upside down looking for something. Paritosh was looking on, his fist against his mouth and his brows furrowed together.

“Dr. Khanna.”

“Later, Ms. Banerjee,” Paritosh replied, his tone a bit too sharp.

Rupali pressed her lips together to avoid reacting as sharply. She made to retreat, when Maya turned her way.

“No. Wait Ms. Banerjee–”

“Stop. Maya! No.”

“Where can the necklace disappear from this house?”

“That’s for us to find out.”

“Fine. Call the police then.”

“Maya, no!”

“What’s the matter?” Rupali asked.

“My necklace, my gold necklace, has been stolen,” Maya replied instead of Paritosh.

Paritosh took a sharp breath. Then he addressed Rupali, “Please come with me, Ms. Banerjee.”

Puzzled, but happy to have an opportunity of talking to him alone, Rupali followed him into another empty room.

“Sorry about that,” he said, “The necklace was expensive. And Maya’s favorite.”

Rupali was least concerned with the upheaval in the room or with Maya’s necklace. She was just happy that in the furore, Paritosh seemed to have forgotten that he was not talking to her.

“You should inform the police then.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Paritosh replied irritably, “Who do you think is the primary suspect?”

That jolted Rupali out of her happy preoccupation. “You think that I stole it?” she asked, her voice shaking.

Paritosh sighed and stepped closer to her. He explained softly now, “I don’t. I, of course, don’t. But that’s precisely the assumption police will work on.”

“But it was expensive, you said. What will you do?”

“I will not let you be harassed.”

“You are not mad at me?” she asked, averting her eyes that were welling over.

“For what?”

“Because I refused your help–”

“I don’t blame you for wanting to stay independent. I appreciate it. I was disappointed. But no – I am not mad. My offer still stands, if you change your mind.”

“Thank you,” she said, her head still bowed.

“It’s time for you to leave, right?”

She nodded and left. He, obviously, didn’t want her in Maya’s way just then, who seemed to think what police would think. Gratefulness wasn’t enough to describe what she felt for him then.

—

“You let her go!” Maya growled.

“She hasn’t stolen it, Maya. For God’s sake. Do you not understand people even a bit?”

“What do we know about her, really? She is needy, for sure.”

“Let’s just say I know her a bit more than you do. Let it be, Maya. I will buy you another one.”

“Trying to buy me with money, are you?”

“Maya, please!”

Maya nodded and slumped in her chair. Having vented her anger out, she seemed placated. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” she said.

“Maya. I will not favor somebody else over you, if I had the slightest suspicion that she was wrong,” he kneeled before her and pressed her hands.

“Fair enough.”

“We should check the office and your house once more. Just in case.”

“Tomorrow. I’m tired now.”

“I will make us some tea,” he said, standing up.

“Let the maid come.”

“It’s fine. I enjoy making tea. Will you stay with Meenal? Ms. Banerjee would have left.”

“Sure.”

—

Maya was not there when Rupali came back the next morning.

“Maya left last night. She wanted to look for the necklace at her home,” Paritosh explained when Rupali asked.

“Did she find it?” Rupali asked hopefully.

“No.”

“Oh!”

“You don’t have to worry about it, Rupali. Nobody suspects you.”

“You don’t. That’s enough for me,” she said.

“Good,” he smiled at her, “How are things otherwise? What are your plans for the weekend?”

She chuckled, “Mostly doing what my brothers want me to do. Tomorrow Sugata is playing a cricket match. So I might go there.”

“Where is it?”

“They have rented the space from Decathlon.”

“Do you like cricket?”

“Enough to sit through his games.”

He laughed. She stared. She hadn’t seen him laugh that freely before. She was mesmerized and only came to herself when Meenal called her.

—

“What are you doing?” Maya came out of the bathroom after freshening up to find Paritosh bent over beside the bed, his hands groping for something beneath it. His cupboard also seemed to have been emptied out and his clothes and accessories were littered over the bed.

“Making another attempt to find your necklace,” he replied while grabbing a torch and shining it beneath the bed.

Among the things on the bed was a packet that piqued Maya’s curiosity. She unwrapped it carefully.

“Sorry! Failed attempt,” Paritosh stood up and cleaned his hands with a tissue paper. Hearing no response from Maya he looked at her and found her standing stiff, her eyes glued to a white dress spilling out of a paper packet.

“Maya?”

Maya turned towards him and looked at him blankly. “Who did you buy this dress for, Paritosh?”

—

To be continued

“Dr. Khanna!” Rupali mumbled, and then found herself tongue-tied.

“Think about it. Don’t reply right away. Tell me tomorrow or even later.”

He didn’t stay in the room after that. Rupali was thankful for it. She needed the space. And time. The enormity of what had been proposed to her made her mind shrink back in fear. It refused to tackle it. She focused her attention back on Meenal to guide her through the building block exercise.

But once she left Paritosh’ house, there was nothing to distract her from the tempting proposal she had received. She had been a normal teenager before her parents died. She made fun of her teachers, concocted plans to bunk the classes and dreamt of a world where she wouldn’t have to study so hard. If the opportunity to study had not been taken away from her, she would never have known that one could long so much to do it. The simplest things in life, especially those that we take for granted, when taken away, reveal their true value to us. If such things were offered back to you after you had realized their true value, it was impossible not to be tempted to succumb to the offer.

Only if it wasn’t too good to be true! Why should Paritosh do so much for her? It was true that he was already overpaying her, but that could be explained away as something he was really doing for his daughter. Perhaps that little gesture he witnessed that evening, of Meenal addressing him as Papa and saying that she loves him overwhelmed him. And he came up with this way of repaying her. But it was too much of a commitment for a moment of intense emotions he felt. By the time she reached pharmacy that night, she had been able to overcome her initial astonishment and think through it calmly. If it seemed too good to be true, it perhaps was.

After coming back from the pharmacy in the morning, her mind was made up and her morning nap was not disturbed.

When she reached Paritosh’ home Maya was also there. When Rupali asked to talk to Paritosh he told her that he had to leave just then and he could talk only in the evening. Rupali suspected that he didn’t want to discuss his proposal in Maya;s presence and that strengthened her decision to refuse him even further. She congratulated Maya on their engagement and received a hostile look and a disdainful response.

“Oh! So you have been told.”

Rupali nodded and withdrew.

“She is the first one to know, is it?” she heard Maya ask Paritosh.

“I didn’t think knowing about it was such a privilege, Maya,” Paritosh responded lightly, “That we should make a priority list of who should know whom. Things will change around the house. She had to know. I happened to mention it during a conversation.”

If Maya replied to that, Rupali didn’t hear it. She was out of earshot by then.

In the evening Paritosh came back unaccompanied.

“I’m sorry,” he told Rupali, “I couldn’t talk to you in the morning–”

“That’s all right, Dr. Khanna.”

“What have you decided?”

“It isn’t a good idea.”

“Why not?” he looked crestfallen.

“Several reasons.”

“Tell me some”

“I know that with Meenal’s surprise yesterday you were feeling overwhelmed. But it wasn’t anything special that I did. Sooner or later, with her counselling, she would have improved. You don’t owe me anything for that–”

“Wait a minute. I didn’t propose anything on the spur of the moment. It had nothing to do with Meenal. I had thought it through and only then–”

“Dr. Khanna. What you are doing for me, this job, this salary – it is already much more than I deserve or could have asked for. I don’t want to reach for more.”

“If only you would tell me your salary from the clinic and your other job, I will be able to say it with certainty. But even now I am pretty sure it won’t cost me a penny extra.”

“I cannot tell you just how grateful I am for your proposal. And it has nothing to do with money you are willing to commit. Perhaps that isn’t such a big deal for you. I am grateful because you thought so much for me. It makes me happy, trust me.”

“If it isn’t about money, and it actually makes you happy that I thought about this, then why are you refusing? Give me one good reason from the several you claimed you have.”

“One of those is the same because of which we couldn’t discuss this in the morning.”

“Excuse me?”

“Maya Ma’am doesn’t know about this. She would be uncomfortable, that’s why you didn’t tell her. There is nothing extraordinary there. Anybody in her place would have been uncomfortable. And she is going to be your wife. This alone is good enough a reason, Dr. Khanna.”

Paritosh looked thunderstruck.

After pausing for only a moment, Rupali took her leave, “It’s time for me to leave, Dr. Khanna. I will see you tomorrow morning.”

—

“I have barely a month and a half left in India,” Mihir told her that night. He had come to meet her at the pharmacy.

“Aren’t you excited?” she asked, smiling.

“I’m suddenly realizing how much I am going to miss once I leave.”

“At first, perhaps. But then you will find many more things to interest you there.”

“Rupali. I…”

She looked at him questioningly. But he decided not to continue. Instead he said, “Would you like to watch a movie? I have brought my laptop.”

“Why not? It’s not like there is queue of customers at this hour.”

She found the movie boring though and didn’t realize when she drifted off to sleep. She woke up to Mihir’s hands caressing her cheek, her head on his shoulders. She stayed still for a moment, letting the romance of the situation wash over her. Then she got goosebumps and stirred a little. Mihir realized that she was awake. He cupped her face and kissed her.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” he whispered and smirked.

“That was one boring movie,” she teased him as she stood up.

“And I thought women liked romance.”

“If that was romance I do not like it after all.”

“What kind of movies do you like?”

“Don’t know. I don’t watch that many.”

“What do you do then? Apart from this job, where you have to wait for the customers that are few and far in between and do the same inventories over and over again.”

She sighed. She didn’t want to share her miseries with him.

“This and that,” she replied, feigning frivolity.

“You do spend an awful lot of time with your family. What do you guys do?”

“This and that,” she replied again and laughed, “Stop being a detective and either help with inventorying or go back home.”

“I will go back home. Your inventorying will bore me to death. Have a good night. Let me know if we can go for a movie this weekend.”

“I will tell you on Friday.”

“Good night, Rupali.”

“Good night.”

—

To be continued

“It was her,” Paritosh told Maya over dinner, “The assignment was hers.”

Maya couldn’t help feeling vexed when Paritosh obsessed over Rupali, but she had also realized that expressing that vexation did no good to their relationship. So she tried to play it cool.

“Interesting,” she replied, “What did she say about it?”

“There is no mystery about that really. Her parents died. She had to take care of her brothers. She had to drop out.”

“Poor thing.”

Paritosh was about to tell her his plans for Rupali, but some instinct made him stop. He also noticed the Maya was pushing her fork around, but hardly eating anything.

“Are you all right, Maya?”

“Yes. Just not hungry,” she dropped the fork in her plate and leaned back.

“I’m also done. Shall we step out on verandah for a while before going to bed?” he asked.

She agreed and they stepped out.

He held her hands, “Maya. These two years have been the strangest time of my life. The situations such that I just didn’t know how to react to them. And you have been by my side through all this. Through the periods when I have been at my worst behavior–”

“Paritosh!”

“Maya – I may improve over time. I may not be as irritable. I may become more caring, but there are things in life that will not change. You may feel trapped forever–”

“Are you breaking up with me, Paritosh?” her voice cracked.

“No! God, no. I am… I am asking if I should ask you for more or would you rather I stay quiet? Because I just can’t be sure that I can give you what you deserve–”

“Paritosh, I love you. I have loved you for much longer than these two years. You must have known. Don’t stay quiet, for God’s sake. Don’t. I will do anything for an acknowledgement from you–”

“Will you marry me, Maya?”

“Yes!” she threw his arms around his neck.

—

Paritosh sat up quietly so as not to disturb Maya who was sleeping next to him. After glancing at the baby monitor and finding Meenal asleep, he fixed his eyes on Maya. The room was dark except for the street light filtering through the gaps in the window curtain. But he could make out her silhouette and her heaving chest as she breathed. She had stayed back several times earlier, but it was the first time that it portended a permanent arrangement. ‘I have done the right thing,’ he told himself once again. It was true that she had stood by him. It was also true that she had loved him for many years now, even though he had never responded to her feelings earlier and had, in fact, gone ahead and married Amrit. It was also true that even now what he felt towards her was more gratitude than love or passion. But perhaps mutual gratitude and respect was better for relationships than love and passion. Where had the love and passion he shared with Amrit left him? Quite in a lurch! ‘I have done the right thing,’ he assured himself yet another time, but instead of going back to sleep, he got out of bed. He wasn’t feeling sleepy. He stepped out of the room and tip-toed into Meenal’s. The seven-year-old assignment was lying on the side table. He ran his hands over it and then noiselessly slipped it into the drawer of the table. He would see to it that Rupali studied further.

—

Maya left early in the morning as she usually did. She had this strange sense of discretion, which mandated that she was not to be in the house in the morning when any of the house-help arrived. So there was nothing to stop Paritosh from discussing his proposal with Rupali. He tried to bring it up several times, but was either interrupted or lost heart. He concluded that he was in a hurry to reach the university and hence was unable to do it. He would do it in the evening.

He left early from work to avoid bringing Maya with him. He would make an excuse later. When he entered the house using his own key, it looked like Rupali was preparing Meenal for something.

“Dr. Khanna!” she looked flustered, “You came early.”

“Yeah. I didn’t have any more classes. Did I disturb something here?”

Rupali knelt before Meenal and whispered, “Papa is here, Meenu.”

Then she stood aside.

Puzzled, Paritosh went to the child and knelt before her to talk to her, “How was Meenu’s day?”

“Meenu loves Papa… Meenu loves Papa,” the child rocked, her face still expressionless and her words conveying everything her face couldn’t.

Paritosh was stunned and speechless for a long time. When he spoke, his voice croaked, “Papa loves Meenu too. More than anything.”

Meenal walked to Rupali and stood beside her holding her hands. Paritosh stood up and turned towards them. His eyes were brimming over.

“Thank you, Rupali. I can’t… She has never used that word before. She has never called me Papa. To hear it for the first time and in such a beautiful way… Excuse me!” he ran into his bedroom. Rupali knew he was on the verge of crying. She led Meenal away and commended her for doing well.

He came to Meenal’s room a little later with two cups of tea.

“Thank you,” she accepted the cup he offered her. He seated himself on a chair and gazed fondly at his daughter who was trying her hands at using the building blocks.

“There is something I wanted to talk to you about,” he started the conversation at last.

“Yes Sir?”

“Meenal’s counsellor should be back next week.”

“Yes Sir,” Rupali replied and felt her heart sinking. It seemed to be going in ominous direction.

“I don’t know the exact amount, but I think I pay the clinic much more than they pay you–”

“Are you firing me?” she blurted.

“What? God, no! What’s wrong with women in my life? I try to propose to Maya and she thinks I am breaking up with her–”

“You are getting married?”

“Yes. I’m getting married. Is that even a surprise? But coming back to us, I am not firing you. I am trying to come up with a plan.”

“Plan for?”

“How much do you earn from your night job? If you were to leave the clinic and work directly for me and I pay you what I pay them, perhaps you would earn enough and don’t worry – it won’t be any extra burden on me either. And then you could perhaps find time to continue your studies. There are open universities. You could study at home and just write exams–” he had said it all in one breath for the fear of being interrupted again.

—

To be continued

Rupali was thankful they had packed a dress for Meenal although they hadn’t expected her to get into water. She changed her clothes while everyone else got into their dry clothes. Then Paritosh noticed that Rupali hadn’t changed.

“Aren’t you going to change, Ms. Banerjee?”

“I didn’t bring dry clothes, Dr. Khanna. I wasn’t expecting to get wet. But don’t worry. It will dry soon enough. I didn’t go deep in water.”

“Your top is soaked.”

“It was just Meenal splashing water.”

His brows furrowed for a moment, then he said briskly, “Let’s go.”

He kept the windows of the car open and did not turn on the AC as they drove back. Without a word he stopped in front of a shop and got out of the car. He opened Rupali’s door and said, “I will stay with Meenal. Please go and buy yourself a dress.” He offered her his wallet, “There should be enough cash. If not swipe my card and have them bring the slip out for my signature.”

Rupali stared at him agape for a few moments, then found her voice, “That’s just not needed, Sir. In a little while my clothes will dry–”

“I’m not asking you, Rupali,” he sounded annoyed and there was an authority in the way he uttered her name – her first name. Throwing a quick glance at Maya’s impassive face, she stepped out.

“Mamma… Mamma…” Meenal called after her.

“She wants to go too,” Paritosh said, “Wonderful. Then we can all go. Maya, you want to come? You could buy something too, if you fancy.”

“No, thanks. I am fine buying my clothes in Mumbai.”

Rupali handed his wallet back to Paritosh and helped Meenal out of the car. Then she meekly followed him into the shop.

—

They discovered that the shop didn’t stock western clothes, only Indian.

“That’s fine,” Paritosh said, “She wears Indian.” Knowing that she won’t open her mouth about what she prefers, he ran his eyes over the mannequin displays. A white flaring, floor length dress caught his eyes and he immediately asked for it. His choice startled her out of silence.

“That’s almost a party dress, Sir. I don’t need it. Just something dry to change into,” she desperately addressed the shopkeeper, “Do you have a cotton kurti?”

“Yes, Ma’am. May designs–”

“Please show me something quickly.”

She picked up a kurti and legging at random and asked for a place to change. The shopkeeper directed her to a cramped storage space at the back of the shop. After assuring Meenal that she would be back after changing, she went in.

Once she was out of earshot, Paritosh got the dress on the mannequin also packed up. When she came out after changing, he was already paying and she didn’t know what he had gotten packed. She assumed it was a gift for Maya.

Paritosh dropped them at their home.

“He is a good man,” Soumitra said as they entered their home, “He really cares for you, Didi.”

“He scolded her!” Sugata protested.

“For her own good. Her clothes were soaked. She could not have fallen ill.”

“He scolded her all the same,” Sugata still complained, but knew that his argument held no water.

“Yes, he is a good man,” Rupali agreed, “Not just because he treats me well. He treats everyone well. And he is an excellent teacher too.”

“How do you know that?”

“I was in his class once, for a short time.”

“Before you dropped out?” Soumitra asked gravely.

She nodded, then forced herself to smile, “Anyway! I am so tired. Is it okay if I sleep for a couple of hours and then cook dinner?”

“Yes, Didi. Don’t worry about it,” Soumitra assured her; then asked gently, “Does he know about that? That you were in his class?”

“No,” she said, “How can he? It was a long time ago. I was there barely for a few weeks and he would have had so many students.”

—

“Dr. Khanna! Sorry for bothering again. I think I forgot my phone. It must be there somewhere in Meenal’s room.”

“No problem, Ms. Banerjee. Come in.”

Rupali couldn’t find the phone on the floor, table or the bed side table. She looked beneath the pillows and then saw it peeking out from under a bunch of papers. She reached out to pick up the phone, but forgot about it on seeing the paper.

She turned around and stared at a resigned-looking Paritosh.

“It was you, wasn’t it?” He sighed and picked up her assignment and phone. He handed the phone to her which she accepted absently. He leafed through the assignment. “You had to drop out because of your parents’ death?” he asked.

She nodded, then voiced her astonishment, “How did you find this assignment? It was so long ago.”

“Just one of those things that stay with you.”

She gave a hesitant smile and made to leave.

“Wait, Rupali.”

She looked at him questioningly. The last time he had addressed her by her first name was when he had been angry with her. Even if it was for her own sake.

“Did you ever consider resuming your studies? Finishing your degree?”

He wasn’t angry. Perhaps he used her first name when he was solicitous about her well-being.

She hesitated for a moment. That was not a question she had contended with before. She didn’t want to appear self-pitying. How should she respond?

“That ship has sailed, Dr. Khanna,” she said in a calm, neutral voice, “I have to make sure my brothers’ education doesn’t suffer. That’s all that matters now. I will see you tomorrow. Good night.”

“Good night,” he murmured and then thought about the night she had before her. She would sleep for a few hours, cook dinner and then spend the rest of the night working another job. In the morning she would be back here. Perhaps she would manage an hour or so of sleep before that. Even if he gave her the idea of pursuing her degree from an open university, she just didn’t have time to study.

—

To be continued

To everyone’s relief, after they reached Lonavala, Meenal did not mind getting out of the vehicle.

“Why did she not get down earlier?” Maya asked.

“She feels anxious in unfamiliar situations,” Paritosh explained, “Ms. Banerjee had been preparing her for Lonavala in last couple of days. She had been shown pictures and was repeatedly told that we’d do it. So she is prepared for this place. She wasn’t prepared earlier.”

“I see,” Maya’s voice was neutral enough, but Rupali felt a fresh whiff of antagonism wafting in the air. It hadn’t started well in the morning. Maya had obviously not been happy to see her brothers. And it wasn’t improving as the day progressed. Earlier, finding Paritosh and Rupali sitting in the car with only Meenal for company hadn’t gone down well with her. Paritosh had seemed unaware, but Rupali had been acutely aware of her pursed lips.

While Rupali was still reviewing all the offences Maya would have collected until then, Meenal started complaining, “Meenu tired. Meenu tired.” They were headed towards Bhushi dam and although Paritosh had parked as close to the place as was possible, there was still some walking involved.

Everyone stopped in their tracks.

“Not a good idea, I guess,” Paritosh said rubbing his temples, “We should go to someplace where we can park closer.”

“Let me try, Dr. Khanna,” Rupali said and knelt to be at level with the girl, “Mamma will pick you up. Is that fine, Meenu?”

Rupali could almost feel Maya seething at the word ‘Mamma’, but she could not help it. That was the only way Meenal understood that Rupali was talking about herself.

“Mamma will pick you up,” Meenal repeated the exact words.

“Good girl,” Rupali said and picked her up.

“Good girl,” the child repeated.

Soumitra and Sugata exchanged a quick glance and then Suagta, the more athletic of the two, walked to Rupali, “Didi, I can carry her.”

“No, Pintu. she wouldn’t come to you.”

He looked expectantly at Paritosh. Surely her father could carry her.

Rupali added hastily, “She doesn’t even let Prof. Khanna pick her up.”

“But you will get tired, Didi,” Sugata was calm by his standards.

“He is right, Ms. Banerjee. Let’s just walk back to the car…”

“She is light as a feather, Dr. Khanna. Let’s continue, please,” she turned to her brothers, “Come on, guys. It’s a little girl I am carrying. Not the Christ’s cross. Let’s go, please.”

Once they reached the dam, Rupali settled herself with Meenal at a safe distance from water. Her brothers offered to stay with her, but she persuaded them to go ahead. They changed into the spare shorts they had brought and went into water. Rupali watched on fondly as they climbed the famed steps of the dam and splashed each other with water. She did not notice where Maya and Paritosh went. They must have chosen some other secluded spot. Despite the crowd and noise surrounding her, sitting with Meenal Rupali felt at peace. She idly wondered if she could come back here with Mihir. How much longer was he going to be in Mumbai?

“Meenu water… Meenu water…”

Meenal’s voice broke her reverie. She offered sipper to the girl, but she refused. It took some time for Rupali to realize that the child wanted to go near water. She hesitated only for a while, then holding her tight in her hands and walking carefully, she went closer to water and put her down. The water came upto Meenal’s ankles. She started rocking herself, which was a sign that she was enjoying it. Then she pulled Rupali’s hand, wanting to go further in. Rupali took a few more steps. Meenal was now knee deep in water. Suddenly she bent, scooped up a bit of water and threw it at Rupali. The water missed its mark. Rupali was stunned for a moment and then she laughed. She could feel the child’s joy. She was trying to splash her. Holding Meenal’s hand tightly, Rupali also scooped some water and pretended to splash the girl, deliberately letting most of the water fall before it touched her. Meenal repeated her splashing act, this time with more success at Rupali. Then she tugged at her hand again.

“Meenu wants to go further?”

“Meenu water… Meenu water…”

“Mamma must pick you up.”

“Mamma must pick you up.”

Rupali picked Meenal up and carefully navigated the shallow water to reach the steps. Her brothers noticed and came running.

“Meenal is really enjoying this,” Rupali informed them happily, “Stay around to ensure that I don’t fall. Let me seat her on the steps.”

With her brothers flanking her to support her in case she slipped, Rupali bent down and had Meenal seated on the lowest step. The water was flowing around her and she happily splashed her hands.

“She doesn’t even smile,” Sugata said, sounding skeptical, “How do you know she is enjoying this.”

“Look at her splashing, and…” she suddenly fell silent and smiled, “Everyone has a language, Pintu. When you were a baby, the only expression you knew was crying. But Ma could figure out if you needed to be fed or to be put to bed. Slowly even I started understanding. Despite her autism, Meenal is as sharp as any child her age. She is listening to everything we are saying and she understands it all. And in her own way she expresses herself. I understand her now.”

As if to prove Rupali’s point, Meenal started splashing water on Rupali. Her jeans was already wet at the bottom, soon her top was soaked too. But she did not try to stop Meenal.

“What are you doing?” All of a sudden Maya was upon her, “What do you think you are here for? For enjoying yourself? Or for looking after Meenal? Do you have any idea how we panicked on not finding you where we left you? How could you bring her in water like this?”

Meenal stopped splashing water through this tirade.

“Ma’am,” Rupali tried to explain, “She is enjoying this. She made me come.”

“She doesn’t even speak. How do you know she is enjoying this?”

“She knows,” Paritosh’ voice broke in from behind Maya, “She knows what Meenal wants, Maya. Come on everyone.” He didn’t let Maya speak, “Let’s go back, change into dry clothes and head out for lunch.”

—

To be continued

Rupali found herself staring the medicine cabinets mindlessly while doing the inventory. Since the footfalls were less in the night shift, she had the responsibility of taking inventory periodically and matching it with the records. It was a good way to pass time and to keep herself from falling asleep. But tonight do what she may, she wasn’t able to concentrate. For some reason, the way Paritosh had been glancing at her that morning kept coming back to her and made her uneasy. And then that invitation for the outing. Including her brothers too. She was confused. She didn’t know what the right thing to do was. She could refuse to go. But then Meenal won’t go and Paritosh may cancel the plan for himself and Maya too. She could go with them leaving her brothers behind. But weekends were precious with her family. She didn’t want to compromise on that. And the boys may actually enjoy the outing as Paritosh had suggested. Much more than she would. Didn’t they deserve some indulgence? By themselves the three of them never ventured beyond a park or an occasional movie. Sometimes she paid for their school picnics, but most of the times they had to forgo that too. So yes – she should accept the invite. Why not? He wanted her to come for his reasons. To take care of his daughter. He can very well compensate for it by letting her brothers come along too. Something continued to nag her, but she decided to settle on accepting the invitation.

She saw Mihir approach. He sometimes did that towards the closing hours. They chatted until her replacement arrived and then he dropped her to the bus stop. She was happy to see him. Despite having taken a decision about it, her mind was in an overdrive analyzing the pros and cons of Paritosh’ invitations. Mihir would be a welcome diversion from that. And one shelf not inventoried could be made up for the next day.

He smiled at her and then kissed her. His kisses still felt nothing but a lot of wetness to her. But she had learned to fight the urge to wipe it off.

“One more hour?” he asked; there was an edge in his voice.

She nodded and smiled.

His eyes looked unusually sharp today and she soon knew why.

“My folks aren’t at home,” he said, “Would you like to come home after this?”

She knew what it meant. She had known sooner or later he would ask. But she still didn’t know what she wanted. What was her future, she asked herself. As far as she could see there was nothing exciting coming up. She would continue to slog for years to bring up her brothers. If they turned out all right, she could expect some relief then. But it would be too late to think for herself. She was twenty-four now. If she had to enjoy life, then now was the time. Career, marriage, children were not for her. But perhaps she could steal a few moments of joy and recklessness. The way she had been doing with Mihir all this summer. Why not another step? A summer of recklessness and an hour of passion to be remembered fondly in the long, dull days that lay ahead of her.

“I would,” she told Mihir, “Provided I can bill you for this.” She picked out a packet a condom and tossed it to him.

He grinned, “Careful, aren’t we? Bill it, then.”

—

“Ms. Banerjee!” Maya opened the door for her on Sunday, “And they are?”

Maya’s raised eyebrows and piercing, questioning eyes made Rupali nervous, and she faltered as she said, “My brothers…”

“Please come in,” Paritosh appeared at the door and came to her rescue, “Maya, that’s Soumitra – right? – yes and the other one Sugata. They don’t look alike, but they are twins.”

“Hello Dr. Khanna. Hello, Ma’am.”

Maya nodded stiffly in response and walked into Paritosh’ bedroom.

“Mamma… Mamma…” Meenal came to Rupali and held her hands.

“We are going for an outing today, aren’t we?”  Rupali kneeled to face the child, “We will have fun.”

“Guys,” Paritosh addressed the twins, “Please make yourself comfortable. We are almost ready. We leave in another five minutes.” After ensuring that they were comfortably seated, Paritosh followed Maya to his bedroom.

“We have quite a party, Paritosh,” Maya grinded her teeth as she tried to keep a lid on her annoyance.

“I had to invite them, Maya. It wasn’t fair to expect her to leave them behind on the weekend. She’s their guardian.”

”You could have consulted me.”

Deep down Paritosh knew that he should just apologize and get on with it. But he also felt trapped and that made his quarrelsome.

“I’m trying hard, Maya, to fix things. I’m sorry that I can’t offer you the carefree teenage romance. But this is what my life is. And I can’t change it.”

“Stop playing the victim, Paritosh. All you had to do was to tell me what you were planning. Or do you not trust me to see your point of view?”

“Whatever I was planning, it was for you, for us. Now they are waiting outside. Do you want to go or not?”

Maya closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she looked at Paritosh and said stiffly, “Let’s go!”

—

Paritosh had rented an SUV for the trip. Soumitra and Sugata made themselves comfortable on the back row. Rupali sat with Meenal in the middle one and Maya sat next to Paritosh, who was in the driving seat. As soon as they started, the CD that he had inserted while bringing the car home from the rental shop started playing. It was a CD of Ghazals.

“Is everyone getting bored?” Paritosh asked after a few minutes. He had seen Maya yawn, twins looking bored and Rupali lying back with her eyes closed. “I can tune to FM radio instead,” he continued, “They would air something more contemporary.”

“Yes,” said Maya. “No,” said Rupali at the same time, then changed her response to defer to Maya, “I mean yes. Something contemporary will be nice.”

Paritosh tuned to the local FM radio. On the way they decided to take a tea break. But Meenal wouldn’t agree to get out of the vehicle; so Rupali offered to stay back with her. Paritosh thanked her and left the AC in the car on.

“Shall I get something for your, Didi?” Soumitra asked as he got down.

“No. I’m fine,” she replied.

But after a while he came back with a cup of tea for her. “Dr. Khanna insisted,” he explained, “And he didn’t let us pay for our tea either.”

She nodded.

Soumitra and Sugata sat inside the roadside restaurant with their tea, while Paritosh and Maya walked a little further. Rupali couldn’t take her eyes off them and she hoped that they didn’t notice her gaze. She couldn’t hear them, but they were talking. She finally averted her eyes, when she saw Paritosh and Maya kissing. But not for long. After a while she saw Maya going behind the restaurant, perhaps to use the bathroom and Paritosh walked back to the car. Rupali pretended to be fiddling with her phone and acted startled when he opened the car door and slid into the driver’s seat.

“So you like Ghazals?” he asked, startling her for real. He had earlier not acknowledged her request to not change the CD. She thought he hadn’t paid heed. But obviously he had.

“Baba – I mean my father – was fond of them. He would play Ghazals every evening. I got used to them.”

“Ghazals remind you of him?”

She mumbled her assent.

“My taste is Ghazals is also inherited from my father. Perhaps that’s why they make me feel calm, comforted.”

She smiled on hearing that and nodded. He watched her in the rear-view mirror and knew that she understood. He ached for something. He didn’t quite know what.

—

To be continued

Rupali felt disconcerted for a moment when Paritosh opened the door for her the next morning instead of the maid who came to do the morning chores. But he gave her a relaxed smile and she smiled back at him.

“Are you feeling fine today?” he asked as he closed the door after her.

“Yes. Dr. Khanna. Please don’t worry about Meenal.”

“I wasn’t–” he stopped short, then changed the subject, “Her counsellor is going to be away for a month.”

“Oh! What happened?”

“Apparently she has fractured her leg in an accident. So she is on a bed-rest now.”

“That’s bad.”

“Meenu is comfortable with her. So I don’t want to look for someone else. I will wait for her to come back.”

She nodded.

She felt him eyeing her from time to time as he finished his breakfast and prepared to leave for the university. Finally, she had to ask, “Is something the matter, Sir? Do you want to say something to me?”

He shook his head hastily, then added, “Actually yes. I want to you think about this. Don’t answer me right away. I understand that you can’t and don’t want to come away for a vacation. But do you think you and your brothers could accompany us on a day trip to Lonavala? This Sunday. Maya and I would like to go–”

“I can stay with Meenal here, Sir.”

“I want her to go to. But that won’t be possible if you don’t come.”

Rupali fell silent.

“It’s not an obligation. Think about It and then feel free to say no. But check with your brothers. They may also enjoy an outing.”

She nodded slowly and turned away from him on the pretext of stopping Meenal from chewing her toy.

—

“What are you doing, Paritosh?” Maya stepped into his office to the sight of old papers piled up all over the table and floor.

“Looking for an old assignment submission.”

“How old is that exactly?” she curiously surveyed the innumerous piles he had made.

“Seven years, perhaps.”

She chuckled, “Why? Somebody is asking you to explain the grade you gave to an assignment seven-years ago?”

He laughed too, but continued to look.

At last he stood up patting the dust off a set of stapled hand-written papers. “This is it,” he smiled at her.

“Penny for your thought?”

“The first time I had seen Rupali, Ms. Banerjee I mean, in that supermarket, you remember? I had thought she looked familiar. But I couldn’t have imagined why. This assignment is the answer.”

Maya raised her eyebrows.

“This is hers. Rupali Banerjee. The name is right there. She was here, in this university. In my class.”

“I thought she didn’t go to college.”

“She didn’t graduate. Didn’t even finish a semester, I think. But she had started. And she had done this assignment.”

“Did she tell you?”

He shook his head.

“How did you figure out then? After all these days?”

“Yesterday I came to know that her parents died seven years ago. I figured that’s why she wouldn’t have gone to college. Or rather dropped out,” he waved the assignment at her.

“And you just remembered this seven-year old assignment out of blue.”

“I had always remembered this assignment. If you read it, you will know why. You don’t always see such originality and sincerity in seventeen-year-olds.”

Maya frowned, “And you are sure she is the one who was in your class?”

“Almost. But I will have to confirm with her.”

“This is strange, Paritosh, almost creepy. Are you going to tell her that you have been obsessing over her assignment for last seven years?”

“Oh, come on, Maya. Don’t be absurd.”

“You don’t be absurd. If she is indeed the same girl, she would freak out if you waved this assignment at her.”

He tossed the assignment on the table and the table and slumped into his chair.

Having made her point, Maya saw it fit to change the subject of the conversation, “Shall we go to Lonavala this Sunday?”

“I have asked Ms. Banerjee. If she comes along, or at least agrees to stay with Meenu, we will definitely go.”

“We can take Meenal, can’t we? She would come with you.”

He sighed. “You know very well, Maya, that I will have to give her my full attention in that case. We won’t get to spend time together, if Ms. Banerjee doesn’t come.”

Maya shrugged. “As you see fit.  I will leave now. I have a class to teach.”

He nodded absently.

—

Paritosh checked the baby monitor. His daughter was sleeping peacefully. But he was restless and sleep evaded him. He turned in his bed once again and picked up the assignment lying on the side table.

He remembered when he had read it for the first time. Those were the happy times of his life. He was going to get married to Amrit in a few weeks’ time. After a year of courtship. His parents were still alive. And he was prone to feeling happy and hopeful about life.

It should have been possible to forget a little assignment, even if it was unusually good, submitted by a student he hardly knew, and one who never came back to collect the grades, when life had so much to offer. But he had remembered it. And he had also remembered that the student who had submitted it never attended another class.

What were the odds that he should run into that one student at the supermarket, and then again at the psychiatric clinic, and that his autistic daughter should choose to trust that one person in the entire world? Was it creepy as Maya had suggested? Or was it inevitable destiny? What destiny though?

—

To be continued

When she woke up she realized that the doorbell must have been ringing for a while. The sound had become a part of the dream she was having. She couldn’t recall what it was though. She looked at the clock. It wasn’t yet time for her brothers to be back. Who could it be? She patted her hair and rubbed her sleepy eyes to prepare them for the awoken world, then went to the door and opened it.

“Mamma… Mamma…” Meenal rocked standing beside Paritosh. Rupali blinked her eyes a few times wondering if she was still dreaming.

“Did I wake you up… again?” Paritosh asked, looking contrite.

“No. It’s fine. It’s too late anyway.” But she was so astonished that she didn’t remember to invite them in.

After waiting for a moment, Paritosh had to ask, “Can we come in?”

“Oh! Yes. Sorry–” she stepped aside. As they walked in she nervously surveyed her surroundings and it did not assure her. The faded bedsheet was crumpled from her lying down. And as much as she tried to keep the house tidy, she had only so much time in hands. In the middle of the week it looked like someone had ransacked it. Twins’ clothes, books and other possessions were scattered all over. One corner of the floor was taken up by the dirty clothes that would be washed on Saturday. The condition of the house itself was shabby with the plaster falling down from some places and the paint stained at many others. She threw a quick glance at the tiny bathroom and was relieved the find it shut. She hoped he wouldn’t want to use the bathroom. He wouldn’t know how to turn around in that tiny space.

When she looked back at him after surveying the house, he had taken up the only chair that was there in the hall. And if he had noticed the state of the house, he didn’t show it.

“Would you like a cup of tea, Dr. Khanna?” she asked. She hadn’t had lunch and her stomach grumbled. She could do with a cup of tea herself.

He opened his mouth as if to say no, but closed it after taking a look at her. “That would be great,” he said finally. It felt like he had figured out that she needed tea. And also knew that if he refused, she wouldn’t have made it just for herself.

Meenal followed Rupali to the kitchen. Neither she, nor Paritosh objected.

“Thank you,” he said when she handed him an old, but clean steel cup. “And sorry,” he added immediately. Her breath caught in her throat. “How I behaved this morning is inexcusable–”

“It was my fault,” she interrupted hastily.

He shook his head and continued, “I took out my frustrations on you. That was uncalled for. When Meenal woke up, she brought me to my senses. She hasn’t stopped asking for you since.”

Rupali sat on the edge of the bed and stayed silent.

“Will you come back?” he asked.

She nodded, “Happily. And I promise you it won’t happen again. It was just today–”

“Were you unwell?”

“I hadn’t slept well. I will take care in future.”

“It can happen to anyone. I over-reacted. I’m sorry once again.”

“How did you know where I live?” she asked to change the subject.

“The clinic had sent me your details. It had the address. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have barged in. But I had behaved so outrageously, I wasn’t sure I could talk to you on phone.”

“It’s all right.”

“Also, I was hoping to talk to your parents and assure them that you job is a safe one. You stay with your parents, I assume. You aren’t married, right?”

She bit her lips. After getting her job back and his apologies, she had hoped that she would not have to tell him her sob story. But he would know now. She couldn’t produce her parents out of thin air.

“My parents are no longer – I mean – they are dead,” she said in one breath.

His face paled on hearing that. She saw him patting Meenal’s head instinctively.

“I live with my younger brothers,” she added.

“I… I’m sorry.”

“It has been a long time.”

“How long?”

“Seven years.”

“Seven years! How—How old are you?”

“Twenty-four.”

He gasped. She was seventeen then.

“How old are your brothers?”

“Twins. Fourteen-years old.”

“Fourteen!”

“They are ten-years younger than me.”

“They must have been really young when…”

She nodded.

“It has just been the three of you?”

She nodded.

He sighed and slumped back, “So it wasn’t because of your parents that you refused to come for the vacation. It was because of your brothers?”

“Partly.”

“What else? Were you scared? Perhaps I freaked you out by bringing it up suddenly.”

It was her turn to sigh. She rubbed her temple and then spoke, “Before you give me the job back, I must confess. I should have told you in the very beginning. But I was greedy, I guess. I have another job. A night shift. At a 24-hours pharmacy.”

“Another job?”

“I know that you would, perhaps, not like it. But I–”

“You are the only bread-winner in your family.”

She nodded.

He stood up, abruptly, “I will see you tomorrow at 8.30, then.”

She had her job back, after all. Relief washed over her. She could do without sleeping for years just then.

She bent down to talk to Meenal. “Meenu will go with Papa now. Okay? Mamma will come tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow. Mamma.”

“Yes. Tomorrow, sweetheart. Good night.”

“Tomorrow, sweetheart. Good night.”

Meenal had this eerie habit of repeating what someone said word by word. She even responded to Paritosh’ “Bye, Meenu” in the morning with “Bye, Meenu”, instead of addressing him as Papa. Over time, though, Rupali had gotten used to it. This was something autistic children were known to do.

Soumitra and Sugata came when Paritosh was at the door. Rupali introduced them.

“What was he doing here?” Sugata asked after Paritosh left.

“He had fired me from the job this morning. He had come to take me back.”

“Huh?” The brothers responded in chorus.

“Never mind,” she grinned at them, “You will have tea, right? And I am yet to have your khichdi. It tasted delicious though. I had a bite in the morning.” She hadn’t felt this light-hearted in a long time. Paritosh knew everything there was to know about her. He didn’t look dissatisfied. Perhaps her job, and her brothers’ futures, were secure for a while.

Her brothers didn’t spare her though. She had to tell them the story of the day. As she had expected, Sugata grew enraged that Paritosh should have scolded her so, while Soumitra became somber with the worry that she was over-exerting herself. She had to reassure them both.

—

To be continued

Paritosh was frustrated beyond words. Maya had been in tears that morning.

“I love your daughter, Paritosh. As much as a mother can. But is it my fault that she wouldn’t even spare a glance for me? Will we never have any time for each other?”

“What do you want me to do, Maya? She is my daughter!”

“That overpaid nanny of hers can take care of her for a few days, can’t she? You can pay her some more.”

“Just leave her behind while I am on a vacation?”

“On a vacation with me! You do leave her behind for your job. A job you don’t even need. A job you do just because you love teaching. So tell me this, do you love me? Or not? Do I mean even as much as this job to you?”

“What kind of an emotional blackmail is this, Maya?”

She had been furious at that and had stomped out of his office. Paritosh could not concentrate on making notes for his next class after that and left for home. On seeing Rupali, an idea had formed in his head.

But Rupali had frustrated all his plans. She hadn’t even pretended to think about it.

He was angry. At first with her. Then with himself. Why had he expected Rupali to come through for him? When his wife hadn’t done so? When Maya couldn’t do so?

He took a deep breath and looked at the clock. It was almost the time for Rupali to leave. He stepped out of his bedroom and went to Meenal’s. He relieved Rupali and sat down to play with his daughter.

—

Rupali usually slept for three hours after coming back from Paritosh’ house.  Then she made dinner and left for her night job. But that evening Sugata’s band was giving a paid performance for the first time. It was a meager payment. But it was big for them. He wanted her to come for it. She wasn’t sure if she would have her job with Paritosh for long. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to provide him the support he would need in future. The least she could do was to attend his show tonight and make him happy, even if only temporarily.

So she skipped her nap and made dinner while her brothers were still at their tuitions. She called Mihir and he readily agreed to attend the performance. After that he dropped her at the pharmacy. The next morning, the boy who was to relieve her got late and that ate up her morning nap time, the couple of hours she usually slept before starting her morning chores and then leaving for Paritosh’ home.

She was lethargic beyond measure as she walked home in the morning. She had no energy left for cooking breakfast and lunch. She decided that she would ask Soumitra to get some bread and toast them for breakfast. For lunch she would hand them some money so that they could buy something from the school canteen. That was a luxury she did not usually permit them or herself. But this morning, she was exceptionally tired.

She stepped into the house to the sound of pressure cooker. Soumitra and Sugata were ready for school and some toasted bread was waiting for her.

“You were late,” Soumitra announced, “So I bought some bread and toasted it. You can eat.”

“And what is in the pressure cooker?”

“Khichdi, for lunch.”

‘When did they learn to cook?’ she wondered. Tears threatened her and she closed her eyes for a moment to blink them back. Then she went forward and pulled both of them in a hug.

“Hey, hey!” Soumitra grinned, “It’s only khichdi. And you may want to taste it for salt.”

—

Rupali’s head was reeling and her eyes wouldn’t stay open. She hadn’t had a wink of sleep in over twenty-four hours and she was bone tired. When Meenal was taking her late-morning nap, she could not resist the temptation of taking a nap herself. She put an alarm for the time when Meenal usually woke and lied down next to the child.

But it wasn’t the alarm or Meenal that woke her up.

“Ms. Banerjee,” Partiosh’ voice thundered and echoed through the small room. Rupali woke up at once and jumped out of the bed. Her heart thumped in her chest. Her throat went dry at the sight of Paritosh’ red, angry eyes. “What do you think you were doing?”

“I… I… Sir. Meenal was asleep. I fell…”

“Meenal was asleep and she could have woken up any time. What is your job here, Ms. Banerjee? What do you think your job is?”

She gulped hard and stayed silent.

“You have only one job. To look after her. Sleeping on the job doesn’t help you do that.”

“I’m sorry, Sir. It won’t happen again.”

“No. It won’t. Because you won’t come here again. Leave. Leave right now.”

“Sir, please–”

“Didn’t you hear me, Ms. Banerjee? You are fired!”

Tears stung her still weary eyes. But she blinked them back. All her prepared speeches for the moment he fired her were useless. He wasn’t firing her because she refused to come with them for the vacation. He was firing her because she was sleeping on the job. No excuse was going to work here. She picked up her purse, slipped on her sandle and ran out.

—

For a while she was angry. Angry at herself, at Paritosh, at the world, and at her rotten luck. Then every other feeling floated away except the overwhelming need to sleep. To sleep for hours together. Why not, she decided. She had the entire day to herself. She would sleep like she hadn’t done in a long time. Apart from the two jobs on the weekdays,  even her weekends were occupied with chores. And now there was Mihir too. She also had to find time for him. Her sleep had been ignored and compromised for too long. Now she would catch up on it.  She will have to look for a new job because once Paritosh told them why he had fired her, the clinic would not want her back. But it was all for good. She would not start her job-search yet. She would take several days off and sleep well.

Before she knew it she had fallen asleep on the bed in the hall. This wasn’t her bed. The twins used it. She usually slept in the only room the house had. But nothing mattered right now. She had to sleep.

—

To be continued