Mish' Fiction

“For today… You had to remember some horrible things… And you got late for your office,” she chuckled, then turned serious again, “And for everything that you, and Baba, had to go through to bring me into this world.”

“I will give you one tight slap, if you ever talked like that, Mou.”

“Mamma…”

“No. I am serious. What nonsense was that? We have brought you into this world, because we love you. And if we went through anything for you, it was because you were our responsibility, not because we were doing some charity for your biological father. You were not his. You were ours. And you will remain that. Always. Do you understand?”

“Yes Mamma. And I am sorry for saying this. This isn’t what I meant. Please. Don’t be upset.”

“Should I stay back today, Shona?” Piyali softened immediately.

“No Mamma. I will be fine.”

“Sure?”

“Yes Mamma. Don’t worry.”

—

“Mukundo Babu!”

Mukundo was surprised to see her at the university. Even after all these years of being together, her sudden appearance brightened up his face. “What’s up? Bunking work?” He grinned.

“Need to talk to you…” Piyali hadn’t originally planned on telling him anything about her conversation with Mou. But she had hardly left her home for work, when she started feeling guilty about keeping a secret from him. She called her office informing them that she would not be coming and drove towards the university instead. This couldn’t be discussed on phone.

Mukundo became somber, “What is it? Everything all right? Is something wrong with Mou?”

“No. No. Just… Do you have a class now? Can we go to your office?”

“Let’s go.”

She slumped on the visitor’s chair when they entered his office.

“What’s wrong Guddi?” he still used all his nicknames for her. When Mou was born, he had joked that he had already used up all the endearing nicknames for Piyali. What would he use to address their daughter? And then he had named her Mou. Honey. She was about sweetness and love.

“Mou knows,” she said quickly before she would lose the nerves to say it.

“Mou knows?” he didn’t understand immediately.

“About… Ahwaan,” Piyali added in a weak voice.

Mukundo was startled as expected. His subsequent reaction, however, surprised Piyali. He sank down in his chair and closed his eyes. Next he buried his face in his hands. He was… scared?

“Mukundo Babu?”

He looked up. She had never seen him like this. So unsure… So insecure…

“She is all right, Mukundo Babu. Why are you so… No Mukundo Babu. You can’t be insecure about this. You can’t appear weak, or worse, scared. She looks up to you. You are her pillar of strength. Mine too…”

“This is one thing I have been so terrified of Piyali. I… I don’t know… We should have talked earlier; we should have been prepared. But I… I just didn’t have the strength. Would she still accept me like earlier? I am afraid of losing her, Piyali…”

She got up and went around the table to him. She put her hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed it. “I’m sorry. I never realized how you felt… I thought you knew and understood… But I should have told you, explicitly, that you have been the best father in the world. At one time, I had decided to put everything on stake to bring her in this world. I had even been selfish enough to marry you despite believing that it wasn’t the right decision for you. But today, if she doesn’t realize how lucky she has been to have you as a father, if she doesn’t realize that her biological father abandoning us had been our biggest blessing in disguise, then she doesn’t deserve you Mukundo Babu. I will disown her if she hurts you; or if she doesn’t give you what is your due as her father…”

“Piyali!” her extreme emotions surprised him.

“I am sorry,” she gave a nervous smile and spoke softly, “None of that is going to happen. She is your daughter. Mature, understanding… She was very brave about it. But may be… you should talk to her.”

Mukundo was still nervous, but Piyali’s confidence gave him courage.

—

Mou was way past the age when children are unselfconsciously mean and selfish with parents. She now realized her responsibility towards them. So, she had controlled her reaction over the shocking revelations about her parentage while her mother was around. But she was anxious, confused, and ever angry. She was conscientious. She knew she shouldn’t be angry at her parents. Who should she be angry on then? Her real… no… biological father? But what for?

She was pacing up and down in her room, when Mukundo knocked at the open door.

“Baba?” she was taken by surprise.

“Bored of studies I see?” he smiled as he walked in.

“I was… just… taking a break.”

“You know something Mou,” he spoke with a nervous smile as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Mou was standing across from him near the window, “I have spent hours and hours with my colleagues in Psychology department taking their advice on what to do about it, how to talk to you, whether to volunteer the information to you… And despite knowing everything that professionals say about it, I have done the dumbest thing possible. Forget about talking to you, I never discussed it with even your mother. Probably you are angry right now. Probably just confused. Or sad. Probably your mother has warned you against hurting me. The professionals have always told me that I was trying too hard to be a good father. Your mother also thought that I would spoil you. Probably all that is true.  But the bottom line is that I have been the happiest and luckiest father in the world to have you. And I will continue to be that happiest father if you would share with me what is going on in your mind. Whatever it is. Even if you think it would hurt me. It won’t. Because even if I have tried too hard, even if I have spoiled you in the process, one thing I am really, really proud of is your trust in me, and the honest relationship we share. If there is anything you want to know, if you have any questions at all, if you want something…”

“Baba,” Mou interrupted him, “Please don’t cry. It scares me… Please.” Mukundo hadn’t realized when tears had started flowing out of his eyes. It affected his daughter, and she also started crying.

“Oh God! I am sorry,” he went to her, “Come here, Shona. I’m so sorry.” He hugged her, “There is nothing to be scared of. Oh God!” He realized that Mou was shivering from anxiety and fear. “Piyali! Piyali. Come here.” he got worried and called her.

“What happened?” Piyali rushed in.

“She is… she is crying…”

“Mou. Come on Shona. Stop crying. Don’t you remember what I told you? Nothing has changed. Why are you scared? Calm down, darling.”

Mou wiped her tears with one hand, while still holding her father with another. Then without saying word, she just embraced him again. Mukundo patted her head. He looked at her bed. It was strewn with her books.

—

To be continued

“Mamma! What is your blood group?” Fourteen-year old Mou asked Piyali, who was getting ready to go to the office. After Mou’s birth and few months of recovery, she had started on her journalistic career and had climbed its ladders steadily and well. She was the chief-editor of a major publication house in Kolkata. Mou’s classes were over for the year, and she was preparing for board exams which were to start two weeks later.

“A-positive.”

“And Baba’s?”

“O-positive.”

“How is that possible?”

“Why?”

“Mine is AB-positive.”

“So? Mine was also different from my parents.”

“Different is fine. But it is predictable. If my blood group is AB-positive, at least one the parents’ has to be B-positive or AB-positive.”

“I don’t know. I was never a Science student,” Piyali grew nervous and tried to end the discussion, “I am getting late for the office…”

“Mamma!” Mou was a perceptive child and Piyali could not get away from her, “Science doesn’t change because someone decided not to study it. This is not possible.”

“We haven’t gotten our blood group checked in a long time, Mou. Probably I don’t remember it correctly. Probably mine is AB-positive… How do I know?”

“Mamma! Before asking you I had seen your blood-group from your driving license. Baba’s too. What do I not know, Mamma?” Mou was determined. And scared of what she was going to find out! Piyali’s heart sank. She had thought of discussing it with Mukundo a thousand times, so that they could be prepared for this day, if it ever came. But she never got around to doing it. The idea of ever reminding Mukundo of Mou’s parentage repulsed her. He doted over his daughter. He was his friend, philosopher and guide; just like he had been to her. The generation gap seemed to disappear between the father and the daughter. How could Piyali break the harmony of this relationship? But what was she to do now? How will Mou react to the truth? How will Mukundo bear it?

“Mou. Your exams are at hand. Don’t bother yourself with pointless questions…” Piyali made a last-ditch attempt at avoiding the storm.

“Mamma, tell me. Now!”

“Fine Mou,” Piyali sighed, “But you have to promise me something. That you wouldn’t say a word about it to your Baba.”

“He doesn’t know?” Mou looked even more anxious.

“Of course, he knows,” Piyali got slightly irritated as she realized what Mou might have thought, “I don’t have any secrets from him. And I know you don’t either. But what I am asking you to keep from him is your knowing it. And not just with words, even with your actions.”

“What do you mean, Mamma?”

“Don’t hurt him Mou. Promise me, you won’t.”

“Mamma, please.”

“You have to promise me before I open my mouth,” Piyali spoke in her tough-parent tone. Since Mukundo had been excessively indulgent with her, the responsibility of keeping her in line, when needed, had fallen on her.  So, she didn’t have any difficulty in acting tough.

“I promise. Now tell me. Who isn’t my real parent?”

“You mean biological parent, Mou,” Piyali corrected her, “Who do you think has not been a real parent to you between us?”

“Don’t keep me in this suspense, Mamma…” Mou begged.

“You were born prematurely Mou. There was a complication and I had made him promise that he would choose to save you over me, if that choice had to be made. It was a tough promise to make, but he made it. And then he had literally flown in doctors from everywhere to save you and me. You were weak after birth, and fell sick easily. I myself was so weak and sick that I didn’t think I would survive to bring you up. But I knew that I could trust him to care for you even more than I would. Your Baba spent nights after nights tending to you when you woke up crying; and he put both of us to sleep. He continued taking care of you even when I was better, because he could not bear to see you crying. He just had to ensure, personally, that you were calm and comfortable in sleep; and otherwise! He was willing to pull you out of school, when one day you came home crying because a teacher had scolded you. If you wanted something, he would get it, irrespective of what it took, even when I opposed it. Mou. He never agreed to have another child, because he said that his family was complete and he didn’t need anyone else. Truth is that he never even accidentally wanted you to feel neglected, not that he would have done it…”

“Mamma. Please stop,” Mou grew overwhelmed and started crying. Piyali embraced her and tried to assure her. “Nothing has changed, Shona. Why are you crying? You are the most loved child in the world. Your Baba loves you like no one else can. What do you not have?”

Mou overcame her emotional outburst and wiped her tears. “I still want to know, Mamma. How did this happen? Who is my…” she paused for the right word before continuing, “Biological father? What happened to him?”

Piyali just told her about their relationship, her pregnancy and breakup. She initially did not say anything about him wanting abortion.

“Does he know about me?” Mou looked hopeful. Such hopes wouldn’t do anyone any good. It was better to be done with the ugliness once and for all.

“He wanted me to abort you,” she steeled her heart as well as voice and informed her daughter.

Mou’s face fell. Piyali suffered at her daughter’s pain too. But she was thankful that Mukundo was not around. Mou had to face it and move on from it someday or the other. He would have been heart-broken though.

“Parenthood is not about blood-relations Shona,” she pressed Mou’s hand and spoke somberly, “It is about love, care and responsibility. If you can trust my judgment, that man backing out of our lives was the best thing that happened to both of us. Otherwise we would not have had your Baba. That man could never measure up to Mukundo Babu, Mou. Never ”

“But what about Baba, Mamma? Did Baba marry you because you were pregnant with me?”

Piyali smiled, “No. He wanted to marry me. We both wanted it. Although it took some time for us to realize that the other person wanted it too.”

“You are not making any sense.”

Piyali briefly told her about the conversation they had after five months of their wedding. She didn’t tell her about Ahwaan’s role in it. The less curious she felt about him, the better it would be for her.

Mou had a smile on her lips when Piyali finished telling her how both of them had remained silent thinking about the other person’s discomfort. “I can’t believe this,” she said, “You were crazy. How could you not let each other know even after getting married? Five months?”

“What can I say, darling?” Piyali patted her daughter’s head and blushed slightly, “I could blame it all on the pregnancy hormones. But I know that was not the case…”

“Mamma!” Mou turned serious again, “Does Baba regret it any time? Does he regret me?”

“No,” Piyali replied promptly and matter-of-factly, “He doesn’t have an iota of regret. He is very happy, trust me. If at all he does anything, it is over-expressing his fatherly love. He spoils you.”

“I know,” Mou looked thoughtful.

“And he is very proud of you Mou. He has very high expectations from you. Don’t disappoint him. Starting from your board exams. Don’t get disturbed by what we discussed today. I had a wrong man as a lover once. I suffered because of it. Only for a while though. But you always had the right man as your father. You should have no regrets. Okay?”

She nodded. “I’m sorry, Ma.”

Piyali looked at her worried. She called her ‘Ma’ only when she was extremely serious. “What for, Mou? Why say sorry?”

—

To be continued

“What’s the matter?” Mukundo asked when they were back at home, “What are you preoccupied with?”

“Nothing.”

“Guddi! No secrets from me, please.”

“I met Ahwaan today.”

“What? Where?” he jumped in surprise.

“While waiting for the car, after the play.”

“And?” he was getting worried.

“He said that you had called him.”

He stayed silent. Did that upset her?

“And that you talked him out of marrying me,” she added.

“What! Piyali…”

“I told him that he was a liar and he should take his dirty tricks elsewhere.”

He sighed, “You trust me, right? I won’t do something like that. Not to you…”

She nodded, “He was obviously bitter that I had moved on and wanted to create doubts in my head. I know that you won’t do that to me Mukundo Babu. You won’t have done that even if you really wanted me. A selfish person like him won’t understand that wanting someone is not the only reason to accept them. I do know, however, that the only reason we are here today is because you care for me infinitely…”

“Wait a minute,” he interrupted, “He was wrong. And so are you.”

She looked up at him questioningly.

“I had called him up. But not before you came here. After that. After you had told me everything. I had called him up in an attempt to persuade him to reconsider your relationship. I did that although I had already proposed to you. So, yes, he was lying and was trying to mess up with you. But I hadn’t called him because I didn’t want you, Piyali.  No. I had called him because I knew that even if you accepted me, you would feel burdened about that decision. Whereas if he came back, you would be happy. I had called him because I cared for you; because I wanted your happiness more than anything else in the world. More than even my own. And I care for you, and want your happiness, because… Because I love you.”

It was her turn to be taken aback. Really? Did he say that?

“You never felt that?” he asked.

“You have loved me ever since I can remember anything, Mukundo Babu. Like a best friend, a mentor, a guardian… Who wouldn’t feel that? Why else did I keep running to you every time I had a problem, or every time I was happy? But I never flattered myself that I was good enough to be your partner…”

“And I never told you how precious you are,” he said as if thinking aloud.

“You treat me preciously, Mukundo Babu. That is not the point. Not at all,” her voice quivered.

“What is the point, then?” he asked sincerely and eagerly.

“You said that the wedding was a formality; that I shouldn’t act like a wife to you, and… it has been,” she averted her eyes and looked down, “five months since our wedding. You haven’t so much as touched me. I don’t blame you, Mukundo Babu. I never fancied…”

Mukundo looked amused and overwhelmed at the same time. Piyali stopped speaking. She felt foolish all of a sudden. Mukundo broke the silence, “Wedding was a formality because all that mattered to me was that you would be in my life. Rituals didn’t matter to me. I don’t remember when I said anything about not acting like a wife. But what I must have meant was that… just be yourself. Nothing needed to change between us. I loved you the way you were. I would always love you that way. But I can’t blame you for not knowing what I felt, Guddi. I wouldn’t have realized myself what you meant to me if Kaka’s job hadn’t taken you away from Kolkata. It has been what… ten years? You were fourteen at that time. I had teased you endlessly before you left that I won’t even bother to remember you. And you were so upset. I didn’t mean that, of course. But I hadn’t known just how much I would miss you either.  I didn’t have any work to do in Mumbai every three months or so. I came to see you. It was like a regular fix I needed…”

Piyali was wide-eyed with the revelations, “You never told me anything. Did you… did you tell Baba?”

“I was twelve when you were born Pihu Rani. I didn’t think it would be acceptable to either you, or Kaka. And you had your own life…”

She flushed, “I… None of it was serious Mukundo Babu. At least not before Ahwaan…”

“Nothing to get defensive about. It was natural. You were exploring your world… I did tell Kaka after the wedding though.”

“Was that why he was in a better mood before leaving?”

“Probably.”

“You could have told me then at least…”

He sighed.

“What is it…” she asked eagerly.

“You wouldn’t have believed me. Whatever little I did say, you thought I said it just to make you feel good. And also… wouldn’t it have made me look like an opportunist? As if I was trying to take advantage of your vulnerable situation… Then I didn’t want to put you under anymore stress. I didn’t want you to feel pressurized to reciprocate my feelings. Everything was so complicated and I was trying to simplify it…”

“Pressurized? You are my hero, Mukundo Babu. You have always been…”

“Not a lover, Piyali…”

“Because I never dared… never dared to think that I could be good enough for you. You were this responsible, wise, nice man… Good at everything. Good with everybody. Even someone as exacting as Baba spoke so highly of you. The couple of women I had seen you with… How many years would it have taken me to be like them. And by then you would have become even better. I didn’t dare, Mukundo Babu. I was just thankful that you had not forgotten me like you had said you would. And that you kept coming to Mumbai and meet us often. I had always been so awed with you that I didn’t even think of looking for someone like you for myself…”

“You had said that…”

“Said what?”

“That you weren’t looking for someone like me for yourself. When you had asked me to talk to Kaka about Ahwaan you had said that he won’t approve of anyone, because he would only want someone like me and you weren’t looking for someone like me.”

“Because,” she smiled through her moist eyes, “Because there is no one like you. There can’t be. It would have been a wild-goose chase to try to find someone like you. I had kept you in my heart as the hero. For real life, I had aimed for much less. I didn’t think you were an option.”

He did not say anything; just smiled.

“I didn’t realize that you were my first and the final and the only option. Do you still love me, Mukundo Babu? Do you want me?”

“What do you think?”

“You do.”

“Yes. I do.” He went forward, held her close and kissed her, gently at first, then probing her mouth for long, leaving her out of breath by the time they separated. “I know it has given wrong signals to you, Piyali. But I will wait for our baby to safely come into the world. This baby is the reason you are in my life finally. It is very precious to me.”

Him saying “our baby” did not escape her notice. Everything was indeed going to be all right.

—

To be continued

The timing wasn’t great for starting a new job. She would have to take maternity leave within few months. Mukundo suggested that she should look for freelance reporting and writing assignments instead and she did that. She chose to write about the musical and cultural events in the city and Mukundo happily accompanied her to these events.

It had been five months since she had landed back in Kolkata. Her pregnancy was now showing. People around her had been surprised at how quickly it happened. “No wonder,” one house help had teased her, “Mukundo Babu can’t seem to keep his hands off you, Didi. It is Piyali, Pihu Rani all the time.” Some others had secretly whispered to each other speculating that it had happened before the marriage and that’s why they had such a hurried wedding. She bore the teasing with graceful smiles and avoided paying attention to disapproving looks and whispers. Her thoughts were solely occupied with Mukundo. He had tucked her in the bed every night since the wedding, after ensuring that she had her medicines; and had gone on to sleep next to her as if that was the most natural thing to do. Without ever betraying any amorous emotions or intentions.

Piyali was standing outside an auditorium waiting for Mukundo to bring the car form the parking lot. A play had just ended and she was going to write a report on it. She heard a familiar voice calling her. “Piyali!” She turned and froze for a moment on seeing Ahwaan there.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in a steely voice.

“Visiting for some work and you… Oh!” he noticed her round belly, and then the bangles. Especially shakha-pola, something she had told him about. The white and red bangles married Bengali women wore.

“You… are… married?” he didn’t hide his surprise, even shock.

“You have a problem with that?”

“To whom?”

“None of your business. Please leave.”

“Let me guess,” suddenly his voice was bitter, “It’s your infamous Mukundo Babu, isn’t it?”

“So what if it is. Who are you to question me, anyway?”

“It’s my baby.”

“No. It’s not. Don’t ever try to make that claim.”

“Ah! He has smothered you with his love, has he?” he chuckled bitterly, “I knew he had his eyes on you since God knows when. No wondered he called me…”

“Why the hell will he call you?”

“To talk me out of you…”

“What?”

He shrugged with a sinister smile on his face.

—

To be continued

“Mukundo Babu?” Piyali stared at him in disbelief, “Ma had died because of pregnancy?” She had never been told that. She had been told that her mother died soon after her birth because of an infection. She didn’t know that they had known several weeks before her birth that saving her could mean losing her mother. Her mother had not given up on her baby though and convinced even her father to save the baby if it came to choosing between them.

“This isn’t fair, Mukundo,” Mr. Banerjee sounded defeated and weak all of a sudden.

“I had to Kaka. What is unfair is what you want her to do. Marriage is just a social ritual. It doesn’t change who we fundamentally are, and how we feel. Marriage cannot decide whether or not she should love her baby, Kaka. Please. You have always indulged me. I am sorry that for once it went wrong. But I promise that nothing will go wrong from here on. She will be happy, Kaka. And she will have her career.”

“And you?”

“I love her and I will love the baby.”

“Do I have a choice?”

Mukundo stayed silent. That question was not supposed to be answered.

“Fine then,” his voice was tired, “Figure out the wedding date and tell me what you want me to do.” He got up and went to another room to take rest.

Piyali burst into sobs as soon as he left.

“It’s all right,” Mukundo held and consoled her, “Everything is all right. Why are you crying? We knew he wouldn’t take it well, didn’t we? But we convinced him. And don’t worry Pihu Rani. Once the baby comes, he won’t be able to avoid its charms. That’s how we are. We indulge our grand children more than our children.”

“Ma died because of me?” she asked.

“She died because she loved her baby. Just like you do. Did you take your medicines?” he changed the subject.

“No.”

“And you haven’t slept well. Why don’t you eat something, take your medicine, and take some rest?”

“Are you leaving?” she looked scared at the thought.

“You have some work for me?”

“No. No. Just… If Baba asks something, I wouldn’t know what to say. But if you have work to do…”

“I have taken the day off. Don’t worry. I will be in the guest room. Will you make sure that you eat and take your medicines?”

She nodded.

—

Piyali tip-toed around the house for next few days, trying not to annoy her father in anyway. He had given in to the idea of the marriage, but was not happy with the situation. He would stay on till wedding, but wanted nothing to do with it. Mukundo tried to spend as much time with them as possible to keep things comfortable for Piyali while he also arranged for a simple wedding within a week.

The servants and neighbors didn’t know what the reason was for such a hurried wedding; and such a simple one too. Some were even surprised at the alliance, but others were not. “They have both become socialists,” Mr. Banerjee explained to the more curious ones, who wondered about a simple Arya Samaj wedding for two people coming from well-to-do family. He even managed to smile. But after the guests left, he announced his departure too.

“Already Kaka?” Mukundo tried to stop him, “You should…”

“’Land papers are signed’, Mukundo. I have a job to do there. I have barely managed for last ten days. And I think you know what you have gotten into…” He paused and his detached tone changed to that of genuine gratefulness when he spoke next, “Thank you. Thank you, son. You have saved my spoiled daughter’s life…”

“Kaka. There is something I haven’t told her. Not yet, but I must tell you…”

—

“Baba!” Mukundo had sent Piyali back to her room after guests departed to take rest. She sprang out of the bed when she saw her father there.

“I must leave now, Piya,” he said. Piyali noticed that he no longer sounded belligerent and was relieved about that.

“Why so soon, Baba?”

“I didn’t come here expecting to spend even this much time. My work is suffering. You are in good hands anyway,” he smiled slightly, “Keep him happy, Piya. Don’t let him regret this decision. There is nothing else I have to say.”

Her eyes became moist as she nodded.

Mukundo came to the room and said, “The car is ready, Kaka. I will drop you to airport.”

“No,” he insisted, “You stay with her, here. Driver will drop me.”

—

“So,” Mukundo turned towards Piyali after they had seen her father off and asked with a smile, “You want to stay here, or go to… the other home?”

“What… whatever you say, Mukundo Babu,” she replied nervously.

“Since when did you start stuttering with me, Pihu Rani? Is something bothering you?” he asked softly.

She shook her head and tried to smile.

“If you are nervous,” he said, “It’s okay. There have been a lot of upheavals in your life in a short time and then this marriage… It will take time to get adjusted to things. You should just know that there is nothing to be afraid of. I am there. And now, even Kaka is not angry.”

“You are a magician, aren’t you?”

“I wish! I would have waved my magic wand then, and rid you of all your anxieties, and bring a smile back to you lips.”

“I am fine, Mukundo Babu. Don’t worry so much about me that… Have you eaten?” she suddenly remembered to ask.

“I will.”

“Oh God!”

He had come to her room before the wedding rituals were to begin.  It was scheduled for the late morning, but even that would have been too late.

“Here. Eat this,” he had also brought food for her, “You need to take your medicines…”

“But Promila Kaki has asked me to not eat until…”

“Which is why I have sneaked in here secretly like a teenager. The wedding, the rituals are a social formality Piyali,” he hadn’t noticed that she was startled when he said that, “We can’t compromise yours and baby’s health for that. Now please, eat it before anyone comes.”

But he hadn’t eaten anything himself yet.

“I will ask Promila Kaki to bring lunch…”

“Uh oh! Don’t go all being a wife on me Pihu Rani. That will be awkward. Go to your room, change into something comfortable. I will get lunch for both of us there and after that we will go to my house. Okay?”

She nodded wondering how exactly he would like her to behave with him. She couldn’t continue acting like a petulant child, could she?

That night he had given her the medicines and tucked her in bed. It was nothing like a wedding night. She could not ask him the questions that occupied her mind. If their physical relationship had to progress, now was the time. When pregnancy advanced, it will be awkward. But he wasn’t even alluding to it? What did he expect from this marriage? Would he just keep protecting her and expect nothing else? Or was it the consciousness that she was carrying another man’s child? He had said that she shouldn’t think like that. But if, as a man, he felt repulsed by that, she couldn’t blame him, could she?

—

To be continued

“You are one confounding person, Mukundo,” Debendra Banerjee was not happy about having to fly from Mumbai after Mukundo’s call, “What’s wrong with the government? What laws have changed in this godforsaken state that we have to sign land papers again?”

Mukundo had made a silly excuse to bring Piyali’s father to Kolkata quickly. They couldn’t talk about this on phone and after visiting the gynecologist, flying back to Mumbai with Piyali was ruled out. She needed stability and rest.

Mukundo did not look as agitated as Piyali, but he was equally nervous about it. And Piyali had insisted that her father must be told the reason for this proposal.

“But it’s not the reason, Piyali. I’d have married you even otherwise, if you had let me,” he had tried to convince her.

“You would have, but I wouldn’t have inflicted this on you if I could manage. And the baby will come when it has to, Mukundo Babu. It would be obvious why we hurried for the wedding. And then… Baba might think you to be responsible. I can’t possibly have him suspect you of something…” Piyali was ruthless with herself.

So, they had taken up the job of breaking multiple pieces of news to Debendra Banerjee and they had no clue how he would react to either of them. He was never happy with Ahwaan anyway. The idea of his daughter marrying some Ahwaan Sharma didn’t make sense to him.  Mukundo had to intervene in one of his trip to Mumbai.

“He is also a Brahmin, Kaka,” Mukundo had argued.

“But what culture! He is boisterous like… like some drunken Punjabis.”

“Seriously Kaka? Such stereotypes?”

“I am not stereotyping. He is not a Punjabi. He just happens to fit that stereotype perfectly.”

“You are not being fair. I was also here for dinner last night. He is a lively, spirited boy. Just like Piyali. You just don’t want it; so you are inventing issues, when there are none.”

Mr. Banerjee had sighed. He was of a generation that struggled between sticking to its roots and becoming liberal. Piyali had the most liberal upbringing, yet the idea of a son-in-law from another community terrified him deep down.

He had given in after Mukundo repeatedly assured him.  It was just a few months ago.

And today Mukundo was again standing in front of him. With similar, yet much harder mission.

“Mukundo?”

Mr. Banerjee’s voice brought Mukundo out of his reverie. He looked at Piyali who was a bundle of nervousness. That couldn’t be good for her. They had to get it over with quickly.

“Kaka. It isn’t about the land. I am sorry, I had to lie. It is about Piyali.”

“What! What about Piyali?” he asked worriedly and looked anxiously at Mukundo and Piyali.

“Piyali and Ahwaan have broken up.”

“Huh?”

“They won’t be getting married.”

“Why? After all the drama?”

“That isn’t important Kaka. It just didn’t work out.”

Mr. Banerjee looked at his daughter, unable to fathom the reason for her nervousness. She didn’t think he would be unhappy at the news, did she?

“And she couldn’t have told that to me Mumbai? You had to make me fly in such hurry for this?”

“No. There is something else…” Mukundo added and gulped hard.

“Don’t test my patience Mukundo. What are you up to? What is this girl up to? Do I have to give my consent for someone else now?”

“Actually yes, Kaka. But before that…”

“Yes?”

Mukundo looked at Piyali. She came forward and decided to break the news herself. “I am pregnant, Baba.”

For a moment it looked like he didn’t hear her at all. Then he looked up and asked incredulously, “What? What did you say?”

Piyali bit her lips so hard that it almost bled. Both Mukundo and Piyali remained silent in dreaded anticipation of how he would react.

Mr. Banerjee buried his head in his hands and sat completely still.

“Kaka,” Mukundo finally spoke, “It is not a big deal. We know…”

He looked up with murderous eyes, “Not a big deal? My daughter… Debendra Banerjee’s daughter has lost all sense of right and wrong and you are saying it is not a big deal…”

“Kaka. I want to marry her,” Mukundo blurted before his anger grew any further.

“What?”

“You must give your blessings Kaka. I want to marry her.”

“Why?”

“Because I love her.”

“Yes!” his anger was not debilitated, “You love her. You love her way too much. Protecting her for every mistake she makes. Covering for her if she wanted to miss the school, convincing me for that bastard who did this and then ran away, and now this! Marry her so that she doesn’t have to take responsibility for what she has done.”

“That’s not true, Kaka,” Mukundo was hurt. He had never tried to cover for her. “I have supported her only when I have believed she was right. Sometimes things go wrong. And she is taking full responsibility for what has happened…”

“You think the idea had never crossed my mind?” Mr. Banerjee was speaking in calmer, but still angry tone, “The two of you getting married? It would have been my dream. Your father was my best friend and his last wish was to see you settle down. But you would never accept any proposals. And when her turn came, you came marching to me advocating the case of Ahwaan. I agreed and see what has it come to. He gets her pregnant and then runs away. How can I saddle you with this mess now, Mukundo? What will I tell your father in the afterlife? That I could not find a single suitable girl for you and then I used you to clean up my mess. No Mukundo. It was my fault. It has been a fault in my upbringing. If you want to help, just find out about a doctor who can handle an abortion safely…”

“No! No Baba. Please,” Piyali cried out, “The baby is not at fault, Baba. I can’t kill the baby.”

“You should have thought about that before doing this, Piya,” he said in a chilly voice, “Now is not the time to get emotional. You can’t destroy your entire life and career because of this.”

“Kaka,” Mukundo spoke trying to keep his voice as firm and polite as possible, “So many women in the world have babies and still have a good career. Why do you think she can’t do it? The solution is right here, with us…”

“I am not interested in discussing it anymore, Mukundo,” Mr. Banerjee tried to dismiss him.

“How can you kill her baby? You, of all the people, Kaka? Remember the doctor had begged you and Kaki to abort the pregnancy when Piyali was to be born. But Kaki would not hear of it, and despite knowing what that meant, you had given in to her wishes. You never married again, brought her up on your own… How can you be so cruel to her and her baby now?” Mukundo’s words stunned both Mr. Banerjee and Piyali.

—

To be continued

“Only if you want Piyali,” he gulped hard before continuing, nervousness and anxiety getting the better of him, “you could marry me.”

“What?” It was her turn to jerk back in surprise.

“If. You. Want.” he repeated, keenly gauging her reaction.

“To what extent would you go to set things right for me, Mukundo Babu? You would destroy your life, your future? Asking you to adopt the baby was crazy enough. Now the idea of marrying me… You don’t have to do that, Mukundo Babu,” she smiled sadly.

“No. I don’t have to. The only reason I would do it is because I want to.”

“You want to marry an idiotic girl, who stands nowhere in comparison to you, who is carrying another man’s child and is stupid enough to not want to abort it while there is still time?”

“Another man’s child,” Mukundo mumbled, “If you intend to bring this baby into the world Piyali, you better not think of it as that man’s child, but yours. That is how I think of it. Else I wouldn’t care and I would give you the exact same advice, which ‘that man’ gave you.”

Her eyes filled with tears again. He had that incredible ability of putting things in the right perspective. How useful, and how soothing, it had been to her always. And today was no exception.

“You are right, as usual, Mukundo Babu,” she said, “Aren’t you going to scold me for… for creating this mess?”

“You have already beaten yourself up more than you should. Apart from being careless, you haven’t committed any crime, Shona. You are an adult.” She chuckled at that. Probably first of what could be called a laugh or a smile on her face since she had landed, even if it was only a sad excuse of either. “And if you accept what I have said,” he added, “then you should know this. I am no virgin myself.”

She turned red. It’s not like she had not discussed everything under the sun with him at some point of time or the other. When she had to convince her father and him that her illness was not just an excuse for not wanting to go to school, she would even tell him about her periods. She had talked to him about her boyfriends and about his fleeting relationships.

Still given the current situation, she felt shyness – or probably shame – washing over her at every little exchange they were having.

“No. I am not so naïve to assume that, Mukundo Babu. But this idea… You deserve better…”

“Piyali. There are a lot of things I could say. But I don’t know if I would say them right. Let me just assure you that you will not regret it if you accepted this marriage. And if you are worried for me, then no. I won’t regret it either. Take my words for it.”

She looked down as if not trusting her eyes with conveying the right emotions.

“And Piyali. It’s not like I am saying this is the only option. Whatever you decide to do, I will support you. If you want me to adopt, if you want to tell Kaka, or whatever else… I will support you. Think of me, my proposal as just another option you have.”

‘Just another option,’ she noticed the phrase. This humility in this situation. It wasn’t without reason that he was the epitome of the perfect man for her. “I know you will support me, Mukundo Babu. That’s why I have come here,” she started choking again and decided not to speak more.

“You did the right thing. Just think it through at leisure. Do you want to go to your home, now? Shall I drop you?”

“Just send the driver.”

“Why?”

“It’s… Will you come over in the evening? I am so tired right now.”

“I will. Make sure you have your lunch and…”

“And?”

“Have you seen a gynecologist yet?”

She bit her lips, “Only once. When I became suspicious….”

“We can’t be careless. I will find out who is a good one. Go now. Eat and take rest. Okay?”

She nodded. ‘We can’t be careless,’ his casual remark kept repeating itself in her mind as she was driven to her home, as she ate her lunch under the watchful eyes of Promila, the fussing housekeeper whose enthusiasm it was difficult to keep at bay, and as she drifted off to sleep in her childhood bed. He had already made it his responsibility as well!

There was only one question to be asked now.

“Don’t you have anyone in your life still, Mukundo Babu, about whom you are serious?” she asked in the evening as she nibbled on the biscuits Promila had given to them with tea. He had come while she was still sleeping and had not let Promila wake her up even though she didn’t like the idea of anyone sleeping at dusk.

“No one. And there isn’t going to be anyone, rest assured.”

“And Baba… I don’t know what he will say.”

“Even I don’t know. But I will figure that out. If I could convince him for Ahwaan… I would probably be able to convince him for myself,” he chuckled, then turned serious, “But what do you want, Piyali?”

“Who has ever had a better advice for me than you, Mukundo Babu?” she replied with downcast eyes, “I can only pray that you do not regret it.” Tears threatened her eyes again.

“Is that a yes?”

She nodded.

“Then I promise I won’t let myself regret this ever. And I will try the same for you.”

Piyali continued looking down as she nodded. Tears were flowing out again and the drops were falling on her lap. He noticed that. He got up and sat down beside her. He cupped her face and made her look up. “Not like this Piyali. Not like a loser crying. You are a brave girl; you have taken a brave decision. It isn’t something to feel guilty, or ashamed about. It is a happy day. Yeah? Please smile. Don’t cry. You know how I hate seeing you cry. You know that, don’t you?”

She nodded and leaned on him. He patted her head. He still had to talk to her father. He didn’t know how he would do it. But one problem at a time. First thing, he had to take her to the gynecologist next morning.

—

To be continued

Mukundo waved the placard he was dramatically holding for her. She looked incredulous for a moment; then almost ran around the railing to reach to him quickly, pushing her baggage trolley with her. He met her mid-way and took the trolley from her.

“You came yourself?” she asked, pushing the trolley away so that it didn’t come between them.

“Well… welcoming you home after like what? Ten years? I could do that much. How was the flight?”

“Fine,” her answer was barely audible as she looked away. She was controlling her emotions with difficulty. What was it? Mukundo got worried.

“What happened, Piyali?” he asked.

Instead of replying she hugged him and started sobbing.

“Hey. Pihu Rani,” he addressed her with one of his several nicknames for her, “What happened? What’s wrong, Shona?”

“Nothing,” she broke the hug and wiped her tears, “I just got overwhelmed. Happy to be back after so long.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded rubbing her face with her hands to wipe off any tears and other signs of crying. It was hardly successful. Her nose, as usual, had swollen and red even with slightest crying. He did not point that out though.

“Let’s go,” he said and pushed the trolley ahead. She followed him.

She was unusually quiet during the ride from the airport, and that raised Mukundo’s suspicion.

“You weren’t just overwhelmed, were you?” he asked.

She looked straight ahead and didn’t reply.

“Is it about Ahwaan?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Troubles between you?”

She nodded again and bit her lips.

“Have you guys… broken up or something?”

She hesitated, but then nodded yet again.

Ah! So that was it. Although it was no happy news, it put Mukundo at ease. It was a solvable issue. Piyali being Piyali, had probably starting thinking this was the end of the world. Like she had thought on discovering that she had missed out on a 2-mark question in board exams. Always hyper, always super sensitive. That was his Piyali. He would know how to cheer her up and help her move on. It was a good thing she was back in Kolkata. In his care.

“Mukundo Babu,” she spoke after another long pause, “Can we go to your home first? I hope you don’t have any guests there?”

“Sure,” he replied immediately. That was a sound suggestion. They needed to have a chat.

—

“Why did you break up?” he asked straight away. The housekeeper had brought tea for them. He handed a cup to her.

“He couldn’t talk to his parents.”

“Couldn’t?”

“He said they won’t listen to him and he did not want to go against his family. My guess is the he never talked.”

“Didn’t you guys discuss it earlier?”

“We had. At least I thought so… He used to say we’ll cross the bridge when it comes. I assumed he meant that he would talk when time comes. I guess he just meant to…”

She kept the teacup on the table and started crying silently.

“Hey!” He also kept his cup away and went to sit beside her on the sofa. “I know Pihu Rani that it seems like the end of the world, but it isn’t. You will move on. You are back home, you have a job to start… In couple of months it will all go away.”

“It won’t Mukundo Babu.”

“Believe me it will. You always think like this don’t you? At even the slightest of the disappointments. But things have been all right till now. Remember your board exams…”

“I am pregnant,” she blurted.

He jerked back in shock. “What? What did you say?”

“I’m pregnant,” she wouldn’t meet her eyes and he could not figure out if there was any mischief in them.

“If it’s a joke, it’s a bad one!” he said somewhat sternly, although the feeling quickly sank into him that it wasn’t a joke.

She cried silently in reply.

“Damn it, Piyali. How could you… Does Ahwaan know?”

“He does,” she replied through her tears.

“And?”

“He wants me to abort it.”

“And you don’t?”

“I have been an idiot, Mukundo Babu, but what is the baby’s fault?”

Mukundo looked at her disconcerted. What had happened? The spirited girl he had known all these years, too intelligent and too naïve for her age, had suddenly grown up and was sitting in front of him with her head bowed, her eyes tearful, but concern and pride of motherhood in her heart. Should he lament her immaturity that it had come to this? Or should he celebrate her growing up that, however feebly, she was trying to face the music?

“Kaka doesn’t know, I guess?” he asked about her father.

She shook her head, “That’s why I came away to Kolkata.”

“I can try talking to Ahwaan…”

“You have already stuck your neck out once for him, for us, Mukundo Babu. And it’s going to be of no use. He is least interested.”

“What do you want to do, Piyali?”

“I don’t know, Mukundo Babu. I have thought about a thousand things… And yet… One of them is…”

“What?”

“Will you… adopt my baby, Mukundo Babu? You had always said that you’d adopt a baby, if you didn’t get married… I don’t know if you were serious… But if you would then… I can watch it growing before me and be assured that it will get everything it deserves… I am saying bizarre things, am I not? I have just thought to so many things I can no longer figure out what is workable and what is not. I will probably just tell Baba and beg him to let me have the child. It’s not like we don’t have money or anything…”

“So, you have seriously considered giving it up for adoption?”

“No!” she looked panic-stricken, “Not giving up. Just like that for anyone to… That was only if you… Oh God! I am sorry. I am so sorry, Mukundo Babu. All my life I have bugged you with my problems. But this wasn’t something even you would have signed up for. I think I will go home and figure out what to do after my brain is functioning again,” she got up, “Please don’t tell anything to Baba yet, Mukundo Babu. Please! He would be heart-broken; and angry. I don’t even know how he would react…”

“Calm down, Guddi,” he also got up and interrupted her. Quite unconsciously, he used another nickname for her, which only the two of them knew about. He didn’t know how it would sound under the circumstances, and whether his intention would not be completely misconstrued. But if there was a time when it should be said, and he hadn’t thought that any such time would come, it was this, “You have another option.”

“What?” she looked up hopefully. Mukundo was his friend, philosopher and guide, since her childhood. He had a solution for all her problems. Fights with her BFF, preparation for exams, running out of geometry pencils at the last moment, attention from boys in school and college, preparing for debates, adjusting to life in Mumbai, and finally even convincing her Baba about Ahwaan. If someone could bring her out of the soup today too, it would be Mukundo.

—

To be continued