Forbidden Fruit (Part 7)

Posted 17 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

Rupali knocked gently, then peeked into the director’s office. Policemen, many administrative staff of the institute, and Paritosh were sitting there.

“Yes?” The director did not appreciate the interruption. But he recognized Rupali.

“Excuse me, Sir. But I am interrupting because I have something important to say about the discussion that is going on here. About Dr. Khanna’s whereabouts last night.”

“Come in.”

“Thank you, Sir. I assume that Dr. Khanna has not yet named anyone who can confirm where he was last night.”

“He hasn’t, Rupali. What do you want to say?”

Paritosh looked horrified, “Rupali. Please!” She ignored him.

“He was with me. We were at The Landmark Hotel.”

“Who are you? And what were you doing there?” one of the policemen asked.

“I’m sorry. I did not introduce myself. My name in Rupali Banerjee. I am a Ph. D. student under Dr. Khanna. We were having dinner there.”

“Till when?”

“Pretty late at night.”

“The restaurant closes at 11.30.” The policeman interrogating her seemed to be familiar with the hotel.

Rupali sighed, “There was a room booked in my name. You can confirm it.”

“Rupali. Stop.”

“This isn’t the time to think of propriety, Dr. Khanna.”

“Rupali. I hope you understand the implication of what you are saying?” the director warned her.

“Absolutely, Sir. And I am an adult. Pursuing Dr. Khanna will be a waste of your time, Inspector, and I would really appreciate some discretion on your part about releasing the information I just gave you. Excuse me.” her mobile vibrated. “Hello Kaku. You are with him? .. Okay. Police are here. Shall I give the phone to someone? … Right.” She turned towards the police officer who appeared most authoritative and handed him her phone, “Police commissioner is on the line.”

“Yes Sir… Right Sir… Yes Sir…” The officer grew nervous on suddenly finding himself speaking to the commissioner. After disconnecting the call he handed the phone back to Rupali, “Thank you, Ms. Banerjee. For clarifying the situation. We need to wait for forensic results before we can pursue other lines of inquiries.”

“You will have our full cooperation.” the director assured him. “I don’t know what to say to both of you,” he burst out at Paritosh and Rupali after the policemen and other people had left the room, “If your defense becomes public, it will be a huge scandal in the campus. But if police had continued to go after you, Paritosh, it would have been an ever bigger scandal. So, I guess… Thank you? Rupali.”

Rupali found the director’s discomfort amusing, but Paritosh stood stiff.

Paritosh’ office was still cordoned off. They walked back wordlessly to the lonely park.

“What the hell was that, Rupali?” Paritosh finally spoke, irritably.

“You were worried about her reputation. So, I substituted myself. I don’t care.”

“And if this leaks out?”

“Everyone already thinks it to be true.”

“What?”

“That we are having an affair. That I am hopelessly stuck on you.”

“Great!” Paritosh threw up his hands in despair.

“If you are worried about Mrs. Khanna, I can go talk to her, say sorry, claim it was all a mistake etc. I am sure she will forgive you.”

“Rupali. What you have done is more than enough already. Just stop worrying about it now.”

“You are really annoyed with me, aren’t you?” her tone wasn’t belligerent now, just profoundly sad.

That gave Paritosh a pause. “No. I am annoyed at myself, Rupali,” he said gently, “Not at you. In fact, I have been ungrateful. Between your testimony and your connections you have shielded me from a huge embarrassment and inconvenience. Thank you. Thank you, very much.”

“Why are you annoyed at yourself? If you have feelings for someone…”

Paritosh sighed, “Sit down, Rupali. I will tell you everything. That is the least I owe you.”

“Police has found clues. The back door of the department was compromised. Varun’s roommate said he knew how to pick locks. That’s how he entered the department building and the room. It seems he was looking for a copy of the exam papers.”

“And he jumped off when he did not find the paper?” Rupali asked, incredulous.

“The autopsy found drugs in his system. He was perhaps depressed. But jumping off still doesn’t make sense. They do think there was another person in the room. But all the possibilities are pretty bad. Either another student, or possibly a drug dealer. I hope it isn’t the former. But a drug-dealer in the campus will be a media disaster–”

“Media and parents have already made it a story of unreasonable academic pressure and an insensitive professor,” Rupali said with some bitterness.

“Media has to create stories that sell. Parents can’t accept that their ward was in the wrong. Everyone is saving their faces.”

“Except you!” she said in a low, choking voice.

“Rupali!” Paritosh felt concerned for her these days. She had gotten too involved in his affairs. It wasn’t fair on her.

“How are things at home?” she asked.

Paritosh sighed, “Tense.”

“Why don’t you tell her? She has to know someday or the other.”

“Nimrit is still scared. She doesn’t trust anybody.”

“Not even her sister?”

“No. She thinks she will be forced to go back.”

“But this will wreck havoc in your life. Or perhaps already has.”

“No. Not really. You made it easier for me, Rupali.”

“Excuse me?”

“Amrit doesn’t hate me. She hates you.”

“Huh?”

“Varun’s parents can’t accept that their son was at fault. Amrit can not accept that her husband was at fault. It is easier for them to blame me, and for her to blame you.”

Rupali looked thoughtful. Paritosh walked around the table to stand in front of her. He half-sat on the table so that he could look in her eyes. Then he lifted her hands in his. “I am sorry, Rupali,” he croaked while continuing to hold her hands, “You didn’t deserve this mess. Give me some more time–”

“Don’t talk like that,” Rupali felt intoxicated, still surprisingly clear in her head, “I’m not trapped in the situation. Whatever I have done, I have done willingly. And God forbid if we were in that situation again, I will do it again.”

There was a moment of silence in which Paritosh realized that what people said about them, at least about her, was not wrong. She was in love with him!

They were startled by slamming of the door as somebody barged in. Paritosh hastily let go of Rupali’s hand and Rupali jumped out of her chair on seeing Amrit.

To be continued

Forbidden Fruit (Part 6)

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

“What’s going on?” There was a crowd gathered outside the department’s building when Rupali reached there.

“Murder. Or suicide. I don’t know,” someone from the crowd informed her.

“What?” she ran inside. An entire wing was cordoned off. It included both her lab and Paritosh’ office.

She spotted Paritosh and pushed through the crowd to reach him. He looked distressed. “Where did it happen?” she asked him.

“In my office,” he tried hard, but his voice quivered.

“What? How?”

“I have no idea, Rupali. The door was open when I came this morning. Varun had jumped out of the window. Or had been pushed. Can’t say.”

She noticed him clenching and unclenching his fists. He was nervous! She took one of his hands in hers. He was startled. But she did not let go.

“It will be all right,” she said.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Do you want to go home?” she asked.

“I am not sure. I might be needed here. Police, students, media–”

“Okay.”

They stood there, unnoticed among other faculty members and students, while policemen scuttled in and out of the crime scene. Paritosh’ phone rang after a while. It was the director of the institute.

“I will take it outside,” he told Rupali and went away.

Rupalit grew worried when Paritosh did not come back for almost fifteen minutes. She called him. He picked up after a few rings.

“Dr. Khanna. Where are you?”

She heard a sigh before he spoke, “In the park. Behind the department building.” It was a well-maintained, but hardly visited park.

“I am coming there.”

“What happened?”

“You should go back to your hostel, Rupali. This is hardly a day to do any work.”

“Who is talking about work? What did the director say? Why didn’t you come back?”

“Let it be, Rupali. I will handle it.”

“I am not moving an inch from here until you tell me.”

“I am a suspect in the case.”

“What? That is ridiculous.”

“It’s not. It happened in my office.”

“So what! When did it happen?”

“Last night according to the provisional forensic assessment.”

“Were you even there?”

“No.”

“Then tell them.”

“Police respects the boundaries of an educational institution. If the director clears me of suspicion, then they won’t pursue that line of enquiry.”

“And?”

“The director tells me that he needs some concrete proof, or a witness to show that I was not in the department.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Nothing. He advised me to not say anything hastily and prepare for a possible interrogation.”

“Just call the woman you were with yesterday evening at The Landmark Hotel.”

Paritosh looked alarmed, “How do you know?”

“I was there.”

“How come?”

“I was not stalking you. One of my maternal uncles was in town. I had booked a room for him there and I met him for dinner.”

“You must keep this to yourself, Rupali.”

“Why?”

“I can’t involve her in this?”

“Why not? What is more important to you right now? Avoiding a little marital discord or getting out of this horrible mess?”

“Marital discord? What are you– Oh!” he fell silent.

“Call her.”

“I can’t. It is not about me. It is about her.”

“Right!” Rupali walked away with clenched teeth.

Paritosh buried his head in his hands. What mess had he gotten himself into?

Rupali recalled the last night. She was at The Landmark Hotel with her Uncle. He had a late-night flight to catch and was in the city for a few hours. So, Rupali had booked a room for him to rest before his flight. They had come to the restaurant of the hotel for dinner where she had spotted Paritosh. He was with a woman. In her late 20s or early 30s, lean and fair. Rupali saw Paritosh comforting and consoling her. He even gave her a hug before they started their dinner.

She had felt incredibly jealous. It made no sense. Even if everyone else was right, and she was in love with him, she knew he was a married man. She had never felt jealous of Amrit. So, why now? Why seeing him with another woman was making her so jealous? Had she subconsciously assumed that if there was to be another woman in his life, it would be her?

She had returned late after dropping her Uncle off at the airport. Then she had tossed and turned in her bed for a long time. Only in the wee hours of morning her exhaustion had taken over her mental anguish and she had drifted off to sleep. She could not get up in time after that and had been late in reaching her lab, by when Paritosh was already in this mess not of his making. Despite the enormity of the situation, his unwillingness to call that woman as a witness strengthened her suspicions about their relationship even further.

Presently, Rupali sighed and toyed with her mobile. Finally, she made up her mind and made a call, “Kaku. This is Rupali. I need your help right away. Please speak to the commissioner of police…”

When she returned to the park after making the call, Paritosh was no longer there. She called him, but he disconnected. He sent a message immediately though, “In the director’s office.”

To be continued

Forbidden Fruit (Part 5)

Posted 9 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

When Rupali came back to the hall, the doorbell rang. Paritosh opened the door and ushered in a man in his late 30s dressed smartly in a black suit.

“Guys,” Paritosh addressed his students, “This is Mr. Milind Mohan. An old friend of mine. Very busy man. Working for Horizon Group of companies. But he agreed to come here today to meet you all. He is going to head the incubation centre that the Horizon group is setting up in our institute.” The warmth in Paritosh’ voice indicated that Milind must be a good friend of his.

“Ah!” The acknowledgment of recognition was very audible from the students. A stylish building was being built in the campus for the incubation centre and there had been much speculation about what exactly was going to happen there.

“The idea, as you can guess, is to promote entrepreneurship in the campus. I thought it would be a good opportunity to interact informally with the students. My work is yet to start formally,” Milind said.

“I must confess, MM,” Paritosh said, “That it is a very small, and perhaps not a representative group. But there is at least one person who is already excited. What do you say Suhas? Good time to drop the boring Ph. D. and do something more exciting like running your own business.”

Suhas grinned  and shook his head, while everyone else laughed. Rupali, in particular, laughed out so loud that she drew everyone’s attention towards herself.

“Actually, Paritosh, we all could drop our Ph. D. Rupali can work more than all of us combined. Don’t you think so?” somebody in the group joked.

Rupali flushed, but Paritosh laughed. “That she surely can,” he said, “But I have to take pity on my old friend here too. I have known what it is like to make you all work. I can’t saddle MM with the responsibility of turning all of you into something useful in one go.”

More laughter followed. Paritosh didn’t notice Rupali fidgeting when he acknowledged the joke on her doing more work than all others combined. Milind did though.

“So, you are Rupali Banerjee?” he turned towards Rupali, “Paritosh’ co-author in all his recent papers?”

“You are reading my papers?” Paritosh asked, surprised, before Rupali could answer.

“You should know better, Paritosh. Since I was coming here, I looked you and your students up on Internet. And you academicians are very helpful. You always keep your resumes fully updated on your websites.”

“CVs. We call them CVs.”

“Snobs. We call you snobs.” Milind also replied in jest making everyone laugh again.

“I don’t agree with you, Dr. Khanna. You can’t give 5 marks to somebody for doing just that,” Rupali was arguing with Paritosh over the marking scheme for the exam of an undergraduate course he was teaching.

“Rupali. They are kids. Second year students. You have to be a bit considerate.”

“It is a course prescribed for them. They should know how to solve these problems.”

“Everyone is not like you, Rupali.”

“Well, your decision is final. But I still disagree.”

“Hello. Looks like I am disturbing,” Milind was at Paritosh’ office door.

“No. You are rescuing me from this Rani of Jhansi. She is preparing to kill me if I gave five extra marks to some poor undergraduate students.”

“Stop making fun of me, Dr. Khanna,” Rupali felt embarrassed on realizing that Paritosh’ friend might have heard their exchange and could not bear to be thought of as a brat by yet another person.

She greeted Milind, “Hello Sir.”

“Sir? Please, Rupali. I am not your professor here. MM. That’s what everyone calls me.”

“Sure,” Rupali smiled and made to leave, “I will come back later, Dr. Khanna.”

“No. Why don’t you stay back?” Milind stopped her, “I have to talk to him. But you should also stay. You guys look as good as married.”

Both Rupali and Paritosh frowned and Milind hastily clarified, “At work I mean. With the fights and all. It’s perfect.”

Paritosh relaxed and even played along with the joke, “I agree to the fight part.” Rupali just fidgeted and smiled weakly.

Milind noticed her reaction, but did not remark on that. He started discussing business, “So, we need some faculty members on-board as advisors in the incubation centre and of course, I want you before anyone else, Paritosh”

“Nepotism much, MM?”

“Do you want me to sing paeans for you? Don’t you have enough people around you doing that already?” he stole a glance at Rupali, but her eyes were glued to Paritosh.

“What do you think, Rupali?” Paritosh asked.

“I think you should go for it,” she replied.

Milind had to suppress a grin as he wondered how spousal that conversation sounded. His earlier joke sounded more true than any of them had realized. Outwardly he said, “And you have an able help in her for your research. So, no harm in trying other things, right?”

Paritosh looked at Rupali who was nodding in agreement. “All right. Sounds good,” he said with a smile, “Do let me know what I am supposed to do there.”

“Let me find some entrepreneurs. Then you can advise them on technology,” Milind grinned.

“It’s time for my class. I will see you later,” Rupali informed them and left.

Paritosh smiled fondly after her.

“What was the fight about?” Milind asked.

“It wasn’t really a fight. She was just being herself. Extreme is usual for her.”

“I see. You are being poetic about it.”

“Arr… Okay. She is the TA – teaching assistant – in one of the courses I am teaching the undergraduates. She wouldn’t agree to a lenient marking scheme.”

“And how do you put up with her if she is always so hyper?”

“She challenges me, but if I disagree she accepts my decisions. I  quite enjoy arguing with her. It’s… I don’t know what word I should use.”

“Intellectually stimulating?”

“Yes. And fulfilling.”

“Good for you, Paritosh. I will get going now. Need to meet more faculty members. And not everyone will be as pliant as you.”

“Good luck, MM.”

“Dr. Khanna?”

“Yes, Rupali.”

“My Mom is visiting. I had informed you earlier, right? She wants to meet you. Do you have time now?”

“Definitely. Bring her in. Hello, Mrs. Banerjee.”

“Hello, Dr. Khanna. I have heard so much about you. I just had to meet you.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

“This is my Kaku – I mean paternal Uncle,” Rupali introduced the man accompanying her mother, “Rahul Banerjee. He stays in Delhi. Takes care of the our business operations here.”

“Great to meet you, Mr. Banerjee. Please sit down.”

“Mom. You were thirsty. Shall I get you some water?”

“If you are going to the common room, Rupali, perhaps some tea or coffee as well for our guests?” Paritosh requested.

“Sure, Dr. Khanna.”

“So, you came to Delhi to visit Rupali?” Paritosh started talking to Mouli Banerjee, Rupali’s mother.

“To attend a wedding, actually. In the family. Our relatives stay in Noida. Rupali refused to come for the wedding. She said she was swamped with work. So, I had to come down to meet her.”

“Are you here to complain about that? I never stopped her from going anywhere. In fact, she did not even ask me,” Paritosh pretended to be defensive making his guests laugh.

“I am not here to complain. I am here to thank you. For taming this wild daughter of mine.”

“Taming who? Rupali?”

“Who else?”

“Who can tame her, Mrs. Banerjee? She is the terror of the entire department. The best of our Professors shy away from her questions,” Paritosh replied, smiling indulgently.

“See, Boudi,” Rupali’s uncle spoke this time, “The entire department can’t handle her. And you wanted me to keep her in control in Delhi. I gave up on day one, Dr. Khanna.”

“You are an intelligent man! But on a serious note, she is a fine girl. Why do you worry?”

“I told you, you have tamed her. Has she ever told you that she wanted to leave everything behind to go to Himalayas?”

“No!”

“Once, she had cycled down to the other end of Kolkata. She was very young. She had just been gifted her first bicycle. And Kolkata is a big city, Dr. Khanna. We had all gone berserk, until an acquaintance who recognized her informed us. Another time, we had to bring her back from a group of traveling Sanyasis.” Mouli told him of Rupali’s exploits.

“Wow! Anything else I should know?” Paritosh grinned.

“What are you doing?” Rupali re-entered the room and slammed the tray with water and tea on the table, “Why are you telling these stories to Dr. Khanna, Mom?”

“I am just preparing him–”

“What for? I was a kid, for God’s sake. Do I have to carry the burden of what I did then all my life?”

“It’s okay, Rupali,” Paritosh tried to reassure her, “I’m not taking it seriously.”

“Why are you encouraging them?” Rupali didn’t spare even Paritosh in the heat of the moment, “So that you can prove yet again that I am a brat?”

Mouli and Rahul flushed in embarrassment, but Paritosh just laughed, “Told you, she can not be tamed.”

Finally, Mouli found her voice and reprimanded her, “Rupali. He is your advisor. Is that how you talk to him?”

“Stop preaching. Otherwise, I will actually take off to Himalayas.” Rupali stormed out and Mouli pressed her palm to her forehead in frustration. Paritosh was calm though.

“Mrs. Banerjee. Your daughter is a genius. She needs challenges to keep her hyperactive brain busy. Perhaps there have been times when this genius mind of hers has not been sufficiently occupied with anything constructive. Devil’s workshop and all. Hence, all these absurd incidents.  But she is fully occupied now and is perfectly fine. So, don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry for the way she behaved. I didn’t realize she would react like this. At any other time, she would herself have proudly told everyone how crazy she used to be.”

Paritosh smiled, “It’s okay. She was just being herself. You can’t blame her for that.”

To be continued

Forbidden Fruit (Part 4)

Posted 11 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

Paritosh had been restless over the weekend. He had scolded Rupali for being unreasonable, but the hurt and disappointment in her eyes haunted him now. ‘It’s not a big deal,’ he kept telling himself, ‘She was indeed being a brat. Besides, she wouldn’t hold a grudge against me. That’s not what she is like.’ But he continued to feel miserable. Several times, he almost dialed her number, but checked himself in time. Calling her made no sense and it would be inappropriate.

Rupali found him doodling on a paper, when she came to his office on Monday morning. “What are you worried about?” she asked, knowing well what the doodling meant.

“Nothing,” he replied with a sigh, “The submission deadline for MT journal is coming close. We need to finish things quickly–”

“I have already run the results through Meteor and have forwarded you the results.”

“You have?”

“Yes. I sent you a mail last night.”

“Looks like I missed it. Let me check.”

“The improvements are quite good. It should get us an acceptance.”

“So it seems,” Paritosh mumbled as he peered at his screen after downloading the file she had sent, “Good. Good work, Rupali.”

“Thanks. Shall I start finalizing the paper?”

“Yes. By when do you think you can finish writing it?”

“Tomorrow afternoon? You will have enough time to review it, I hope.”

“Yes. Ample time.” With any other student, Paritosh would have added at least three to four days to the time they estimated to do the work. But with Rupali he didn’t need to do that. If she said so, she would send the paper the next day. Then he would have until the weekend to review and correct it for the submission.

“Okay then,” she got up to leave.

“Rupali,” he stopped her.

“Yes, Dr. Khanna?”

“Umm… If you see Suhas, can you please ask him to meet me?” Paritosh referred to another Ph. D. student of his.

“Sure. If I see him that is!” Rupali grinned drawing a smile from Paritosh. Rupali and Suhas were two extremes. If Rupali was one step ahead of Paritosh is doing her work, Suhas would often not even see him for weeks.

She made to leave again and was stopped by him again, “Rupali.”

This time, she just looked at him questioningly.

“I am sorry,” he finally spoke, “I was very rude to you the other day.”

“But I thought I had to say sorry,” surprise and confusion were evident on face, “Why are you apologizing?”

“You were just being yourself. I know that very well. So, I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

“Being myself? You mean I act like a brat all the time? That isn’t much of a compliment,” Rupali smiled sadly.

“You don’t ‘act’ like a brat. You are a brat,” Paritosh chuckled as he said that, “And that isn’t a bad thing with you. Being every thing else that you are, it actually makes you very special.”

“I see. Not that I understand.”

“It’s okay. You are not upset, are you?”

“No. But if you think all that you just told me, why did you get annoyed in the first place?”

“I was not in a great mood. I told you I had come back for some work. I was with one of my Uncles yesterday. He is alone. None of his kids are in India. He is facing some issues related to the land records. You know how messed up those are in our country.”

“Can I help?”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean my family is in real-estate business as well. They would have the right contacts.”

“Oh! Thanks, Rupali. But we don’t need to pull that string right now.”

“Fine. But let me know if you need–”

“Sure. If required, I will ask you.”

Rupali saw Suhas in the lab later in the day.

“Dr. Khanna wants to meet you, Suhas,” she told him.

“Why? You aren’t writing enough papers for him?”

“I can write papers for him, all right. But he is not the one who needs his Ph. D. You are. And you have to write your own papers.”

“You will make one difficult Ph. D. guide, Rupali. You are more difficult than Paritosh.”

“And how exactly is pulling my leg going to help you?”

“Yaar Rupali. Listen to me. Do you know why I am doing a Ph. D.?” Suhas sat down next to her and spoke in a conspiratorial tone.

“No,” she whispered mimicking his tone, “I don’t know. But I have been wondering about it. Why are you inflicting this pain on yourself, Dr. Khanna, the department and the mankind in general?”

“Because,” he whispered back, “My parents think that Ph. D. is another degree that can help me get a better job and a higher dowry.”

“I see.”

“Rupali. You are my friend, right? Please help me.”

“By writing papers for you?” she raised her eyebrows.

“No. Just ask Paritosh to give me a Ph. D. I promise not to enter academics and inflict any pain on future generation of students. I won’t even take dowry, I promise.”

“Of course, it is that easy. I ask Dr. Khanna and you will get your Ph. D. Why not?”

“If he finds a way to do it without creating any issues, he would be happy to let go of all his Ph. D. students,” another lab mate of theirs chipped in.

“Huh?” Rupali did not understand him.

“Except you, obviously.”

“And he will make do with one student?”

“He hasn’t taken anyone in since you came.”

“You guys are crazy. I don’t think I can work here. I am going to my room.”

“Arr… Rupali… Listen…”

But she picked up her bag and left. Her labmates laughed in amusement.

“What are the names of Sujeet Saxena’s two children?” someone shouted.

“LC Saxena and RC Saxena,” everyone else replied in chorus.

“Why does Rupali Banerjee call her advisor Dr. Khanna?”

“Because ‘unka naam nahin lete’.”

Another round of laughter followed before everyone went back to their work.

Rupali, Suhas and other graduate and undergraduate students working with Paritosh were gathered at his house. It was an yearly ritual for Paritosh to invite all his students to his home for dinner. Two of the female undergraduate students had not been able to make it. So, Rupali was the only female student in the group.

After spending some time with her fellow students, she slipped into the kitchen as a courtesy.

“Can I help, Ma’am?” she asked Amrit, who was busy giving instructions to a cook and a maid.

“Don’t bother. You are Rupali?”

“Yes. I was here last year too.”

“Is it? I am sorry. I know your name, of course. But I didn’t remember your face.”

“No issues. You can’t be expected to remember so many names and faces when you meet them only once a year.”

“That’s very sweet of you.”

“Looks like the cook can take care of the stuff here. Why don’t you come out and join us for a bit?”

“No. No. What will I do there? You will be talking about computers and work. You should go back. The food will be ready shortly.”

“Amrit. Can you send some more pakoras–” Paritosh came to the kitchen and stopped in his tracks on seeing Rupali there. “Rupali. What are you doing in the kitchen?”

“She came to help me,” Amrit said appreciatively.

“And you let her do that, Amrit?” Paritosh frowned.

“No, she didn’t,” Rupali hastily intervened, “I am not doing anything here. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t have. I don’t know how to cook all this.”

“You would be used to cooking Bengali food, right?” Amrit smiled encouragingly. She had assumed that Rupali was  embarrassed at her inability to cook. This was her way of coming to Rupali’s rescue.

“She is not used to cooking anything, Amrit,” Paritosh sounded curt to Rupali, “Come out now. You are sweating.”

“All right.” Sometimes Rupali did not understand Paritosh at all. It was within reason if he did not want a guest in the kitchen. But he wasn’t politely while asking her to come out, like he should do to a guest. He was ordering her around. Rupali stole a quick glance at Amrit. She was not affected by this exchange at all. Didn’t she feel bad, Rupali wondered. They exchanged a smile and Rupali followed Paritosh out of the kitchen.

“Why on earth would you go into the kitchen?” he asked her on their way back to the hall, still sounding irritated.

“Why on earth would you make such a big deal out of it? I had come to get water. I though I’d say hello to Mrs. Khanna. Is that a crime?”

“No.”

“And rest assured. I was not made to do anything.”

“I’m sorry,” Paritosh was now mollified and his gentle, dignified manner was back, “I over-reacted. It’s just that… That’s not your place.”

“Now you are being hypocritical. It can be your wife’s place. That is fine by you? But not mine.”

Paritosh sighed, “I didn’t mean it in a derogatory sense.”

“Really?”

“Are you interrogating me?” Paritosh tried to make light of it in an effort to wriggle out of an uncomfortable conversation that he himself was responsible for.

“And you are very successfully evading me.”

“Okay, lady. Ask me directly. What do you want to know?”

“I… I don’t know.” Rupali was suddenly clueless, “I forgot.”

“So, we were fighting just like that?”

“Yes. I guess!”

Paritosh was amused now, “Next time I call you a brat, don’t get mad. You are one. You proved that just now.”

“Right,” she mumbled, feeling slightly disoriented.

“Shall we?” Paritosh pointed towards the door of the hall, where all the other guests were busy with starters and drinks.

“Umm. You go ahead. I didn’t get the water I came in for.”

“Okay. Just don’t start cooking fish,” Paritosh joked and Rupali smiled in reply.

To be continued

Forbidden Fruit (Part 3)

Posted 13 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

“I am so, so tired of these trees and graphs in Sujeet Saxena’s class. Does he never tire of parent nodes, left child, right child?” Rupali and his friends were gathered together for the hostel day celebration.

“Oye, haven’t you heard of this? Sujeet Saxena has two children. What are their names?”

“Huh?”

“Think logically.”

“There is a logical way of naming children?”

“With Sujeet Saxena, there is. His children are called LC Saxena and RC Saxena.”

“What are you talking about?” Rupali had been reticent, but this drew her into the conversation.

“Rupali – the genius! It’s Left Child Saxena and Right Child Saxena.”

Everyone burst out laughing. Rupali also smiled, but she wasn’t exactly feeling jovial. She quietly slipped away after a while.

“Hi!” Ajay Bhardwaj came and sat beside her on the bench. He was also a Ph. D. student in the department. He worked with Dr. Sujeet Saxena.

“Hi. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Why did you come away? Are you unwell?”

“No.I am fine. I just sometimes feel out of place is large gatherings and noisy places.”

“Right. How about a really small gathering? Tomorrow is Saturday. Would you like to go out of the campus with me, perhaps for a coffee?”

Rupali looked surprised at his proposal. Then asked, “Coffee as in coffee? Or coffee as in a date?”

Her direct question made Ajay laugh despite his nervousness, “I meant the latter. But…”

“I like good coffee. I am sorry about the date.”

Ajay handled his disappointment gracefully, “Can I ask why?”

“I will try to answer, but I am not very good at these things. So, try not to get me wrong. It’s not about you. It’s just not on my priority. Or even in my comfort zone.”

“It’s okay, Rupali.”

“Thanks for understanding, Ajay.”

“I don’t understand, to be honest. But I respect you.”

“That deserves a thanks too.”

“Can we go for a coffee as in coffee though? No trick. Seriously.”

Rupali hesitated, but then smiled, “Sure.”

He was seated slightly far from Rupali and Ajay’s table in the coffee shop. But Rupali would have recognized Paritosh’ voice from miles away. “An Espresso, please,” he requested the waiter in his usual gentle manner. She was taken aback. He wasn’t expected to be back until Monday. She resisted the urge to confront him immediately, because he was sitting with an elderly gentleman and they seemed to be discussing something important.

Ajay hadn’t noticed Paritosh, but he could see that Rupali was distracted.

“Everything all right?” he asked.

“Yes. Of course.”

After few minutes the elderly man left while Paritosh waited behind to pay the bill. By shifting her chair slighly, Rupali could keep Paritosh in her peripheral vision.

“I will be back in a minute,” she told Ajay when Paritosh left the shop after paying the bill. She went out hoping to catch him before he disappeared. But Paritosh had long strides and she had to run to catch him in the parking lot.

“Dr. Khanna!”

He didn’t need to even turn back to know who it was. Only she called him “Dr. Khanna” like that. It had felt strange in the beginning. The undergraduate students called him “Sir”, but he always insisted that his graduate students called him by name. Everyone else complied, but Rupali continued calling him Dr. Khanna as she used to do before she had joined Ph. D.

“Rupali. What’s up?”

“I thought you were coming back on Monday.”

“Yes. But one of my Uncles had some work to get done in the city and he wanted my help. So, I came back earlier with him.”

“When did you come back?”

“Yesterday.”

“You didn’t tell me?”

Paritosh replied with a smile, “I thought I would let you have a break. You weren’t expecting to be bothered about work till Monday. So–”

“You could have attended the hostel day celebration.”

“Oh!”

“You didn’t even remember? That’s so unfair,” Rupali was agitated and she didn’t realize how loud she was.

“Rupali!”

“I will never talk to you.”

“Stop it, Rupali,” Paritosh was finding the exchange embarrassing in the parking lot. Others had started staring at them, “I am sorry. All right? But don’t behave like a brat. Not here in public, at least.”

His admonishment brought her back to her senses, “I… I am sorry. Just that I saw you in the coffee shop. And–”

“I saw you too,” Paritosh was still curt, “But you had company. So, I didn’t–”

“Company? You mean… No… He is not my boyfriend.”

“Nor am I. I must leave now. I will see you on Monday, at work.” Paritosh turned away and climbed into his car. Rupali walked back listlessly and ran into Ajay.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, trying to hide how dejected she was.

“You left like it was a question of life and death. I got worried.”

“I am all right. We can go back.”

“I paid the bill. I think you want to go back to the campus.”

She did and she was thankful to him for understanding that, “How much was the bill? We should split.”

“I know it was not a date. But paying for your coffee is not going to make me bankrupt. You can pay some other time. Let’s go now.” Ajay was not curt or rude, but he didn’t sound happy either.

“Dr. Khanna is a happily married man,” Ajay said on their way back.

“I know very well that he is married. Whether or not happily is something neither me, nor you would know. But either way, why are we talking about it?”

“I’m not the only one you have refused, Rupali, right? Ever wondered why you do that? You are not a traditional, obedient India girl saving yourself for your the guy your parents find for you, are you?”

“I have told you that relationships are not on my priority right now.”

“I’m afraid, it’s more an alibi than a reason.”

“What do you want to say?”

“I think, after today, I just agree to what everyone already says.”

“And what is that?”

“That you are hopelessly stuck on Dr. Khanna.”

“So I have heard too. He is my role-model, Ajay. It isn’t the same thing as–”

“For your sake, I hope you are right.”

To be Continued

Forbidden Fruit (Part 2)

Posted 8 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

Paritosh came out of his reminiscence when his phone rang. It was Amrit, his wife.

“Right… Yes… Yes… I remember…” he lied. He had forgotten about the wedding they had to attend that evening. He was supposed to buy a gift before going home to pick Amrit up. Amrit perhaps knew that he would have forgotten. So, she called. He was thankful for that. But he wondered sometimes. Instead of putting in so much effort in making him remember, why couldn’t she step out and buy something from the neighborhood shop herself? It wasn’t like she didn’t have time. But she seemed to have an aversion to taking any decision related to money, even minor expenses! His mother always said that he was fortunate to have a wife like that, who always deferred to him. He wasn’t so sure.

“This is quite late even for you!” Rupali was surprised to see Paritosh in the department’s common room at two in the morning. Having a night-out in the department was not uncommon for the students or young faculty. But not for others with family. Paritosh was known to stay till late, but usually even he left by midnight.

“I had to finish reviewing Smith’s paper.”

“When is the deadline?”

“Next week. But I am going on a break the day after.”

“Break?”

“Diwali. I have to go to my native place.”

“You had gone last year too.”

“I go every year.”

“For how long will you be gone?”

“One week.”

“Not fair.”

“What is unfair about it, Rupali?” this girl never ceased to amuse him with her antics, “You want to go home? You can go. I will approve your leave.”

“No. No. Who wants to go home? Mom is mad at me for not going there for Pujo. But your going away means that you will not come for our hostel day celebrations again.”

Every hostel in the college had a day earmarked as hostel day. They would host a party and entertain with stage performances on that day. Students living in the hostels invited their friends and faculty members they worked with to the celebrations. The hostel day for Rupali’s hostel fell in the same week as Diwali this time. Last year  Paritosh had missed it because he had been away for some conference on that day.

“I am sorry about that, Rupali.”

“Do you really have to go?”

“I told you, I go every year for Diwali.”

“That is not a reason to go. Do you enjoy going there?”

Paritosh sighed. Did he enjoy going there? He didn’t think so. He had never understood the fascination of poets and dreamers with village-life. Why were the villagers portrayed as nice, simple people? From what Paritosh had seen of his relatives in the village, they could eat an average city-dweller for their breakfast any day. And the family gatherings in his village, even around festivals, hardly felt festive. It invariably became a time to fight and bitch about what is being done with the farms and other properties of the family, who is stealing whose share and so on. Amrit, who wouldn’t step out even to buy some grocery on her own here, would fight it out like a lioness protecting her cubs. Paritosh preferred staying out of it. “Let it be, Amrit,” he would advise his wife too. But on that front, she did not defer to him. “How can I let it be? Ancestral rights must be protected, and not thrown away,” she was very clear about that.

“Dr. Khanna?” Rupali spoke again when Paritosh did not reply and got lost in his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you enjoy going to your native place?”

“No. I don’t. But we are social animals, Rupali. We don’t do things just for ourselves.”

“Do your relatives want you to come there?”

“No. I don’t think that they would miss me terribly.”

“For whom do you want to go then?”

“My wife! Amrit enjoys it. Very much. And my son too, I think. He would until he is still a child,” he smiled, “That may change in next few years.”

“Right,” Rupali’s face flushed. She suddenly felt  stupid, then fished for an opportunity to change the subject, “You were trying to get some coffee?”

“Yes. But this machine doesn’t seem to be working.”

“It won’t work the Computer Science way. We need mechanical engineering at work here,” she replied and tapped the machine hard a couple of times. Sure enough! Coffee started flowing.

“Thanks!” Paritosh picked the cup up and smiled.

“By the way, I think for someone talking about universal grammar in languages, Smith’s modeling is very weak. Prepositions, for example. The model would explain its usages in English, but definitely not in any Indian or middle-eastern languages.”

“Good point,” Paritosh nodded in agreement, “I am going to mention it in my review. Anything else?”

“No. As you had warned, the Maths did become too much for me after a while. It will take me some more time to go through the entire thing.”

“That’s fine. Whatever you managed to understand was beyond expectation. You have more course-work to do.”

“By the way, Dr. Khanna. I think you will enjoy the hostel day celebration more than Diwali at your native place. May be that should matter – at least for one year. Good night,” she said and walked out before he could process the sudden switch in the conversation. He looked confused for a moment. Then he smiled and shook his head.

“Rupali. What happened?” Garima interrupted Rupali while walking down the corridor in her hostel.

“Nothing,” Rupali replied hastily, “Why do you ask?”

“Why? You look like you failed a subject in your last semester and would have to wait another year for your degree.”

“What?”

“You look like you are on the verge of crying. Something is the matter.”

“Nothing major.”

“That’s fine. Who said you can’t share minor troubles. Come. Let’s sit in the canteen.”

“It’s not a trouble, yaar,” Rupali tried to appear nonchalant, “Just that Dr. Khanna is not coming for the Hostel Day this year either.”

“Aaaah!” Garima gave a meaningful smile.

“What?”

“No wonder you look heartbroken.”

“What heartbroken?”

“Do I have to tell you what heartbroken means?”

“Why should I be heartbroken? I am just annoyed. I had already purchased food coupons for him. It will be wasted.”

“I see. So, you are annoyed about wasted money? Since when did that start happening?”

“What do you mean since when? My family has money. I don’t. I do spend it wisely.”

“Sure. How many extra coupons do you have?”

“Three.”

“Dr. Khanna eats that much?”

“Silly. For his wife and son.”

“Ah! You were going to invite them too.”

“Of course. I was.”

“Okay. I can take one of the coupons from you. How much was it? Four hundred bucks?”

“Just take it.”

“Don’t care about the money, do you?” Garima winked at her and left, leaving Rupali flabbergasted.

To be Continued

Forbidden Fruit (Part 1)

Posted 13 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

“Dr. Khanna?”

“Rupali! Come in.”

“I’m sorry. You look busy. Shall I come later? Oh! You are reading the same paper. By Smith and his group.”

Prof. Paritosh Khanna laughed, something he did often in the presence of Rupali Banerjee, usually triggered by her childlike enthusiasm to know and do everything immediately. She sought instant gratification just like children. Only her candies involved complex Computer Science research! What else could explain her trying to read that paper even before it was published? It had come to Paritosh for peer-review. And it was the kind of paper whose review could not be delegated to the graduate students, not even to someone as bright as Rupali. The authors had, however, put up the paper on their website, as was a common practice among Computer Science researchers. She must have downloaded it from there.

“Let me guess,” he said, barely suppressing an amused smile, “You are stuck here.” He pointed to an equation used in modeling the use of proposition in a family of natural languages.

“Yes. How did you know?” Rupali asked, with a mix of curiosity and embarrassment.

“Because you have not yet come to Lecture 20 in Prof. Sinha’s class in Advanced Statistics.”

Rupali flushed. Paritosh tracked her  academic activities closely. Even if he was her Ph. D. Guide, this was him going out of his way. But if it was awkward, Rupali didn’t mind it. Because it also made her feel very special.

“Once you have attended that lecture, it will sound basic,” he assured her.

“Everything is basic for you,” she complained drawing another amused smile from him.

“And you are unwilling to wait for that lecture. Shouldn’t I have known? Sit down. I will explain the concept to you. But the second part of the paper may still be challenging,” he warned her.

“I get it. I am not to trouble you about this paper,” she pouted, her trademark innocent school-girl pout.

“Sit down, Rupali. You don’t have to emotionally blackmail me. I will explain it,” he said.

She grinned widely as she jumped into the visitor’s chair placed across the table from him.

After he was done explaining, and answering her myriad questions, she walked out with a visible sprint in her gait. She was excited! About understanding a statistical concept!

A year and a half ago, Paritosh had received an e-mail from Rupali and had replied with a single word. Her e-mail had her detailed curriculum vitae attached. She had written that she had applied to his institute for a Ph. D. and she wanted to do it under him. She had also asked him that if he liked her CV, could he check the possibility of accepting her in the Ph. D. programme without her having to write GATE. GATE was the exam most leading Indian engineering colleges forced any post-graduate or  Ph. D. aspirants to write to be eligible for admissions. She thought the exam was rather stupid and a waste of time.

And all he had written in the reply was “Why?”

Rupali had jumped with joy on receiving an instant reply from him. Then she had realized that it was a one-word reply. “Why?” ‘What the hell,’ she had cursed. She was prepared for acceptance, rejection, questions or even being ignored. But “Why?” Why did someone apply for a Ph. D. program? To do a Ph. D. of course! Impulsive as she was, she had also replied in one word, but with two question marks. “Why??” And Paritosh had laughed out loud. His momentary impulsiveness had been matched fair and square. So, in the next e-mail he had patiently explained his question to her.

The only blemish on her record was that she had not made it into one of the IITs. But her projects and her undergraduate research had more than compensated for it. He himself had met her at a Machine Learning conference in Zurich once and had been impressed with her paper presentation. She had contributed to many open source projects in the field. She would have gotten admission into any university in the US. With full financial support. Not that finances were  her problem. She came from a rich business family. Why would she want to do a Ph. D. in India? None of the bright undergraduates in Paritosh’ college ever stayed back in India for Ph. D. He himself hadn’t. Rupali was better than most of them. She had already defied all the stereotypes . Indians were not supposed to be good at research, and women were not supposed to be good at Computer Science. As an Indian woman she was good at both.

“You really don’t need a backup,” he had assured her over e-mail.

She had sent a belligerent reply. “Why are you acting as if you know what my plans are? Who told you this is a backup option for me? I have applied to Stanford and CMU as a backup. If you don’t accept me, I am, of course, not going to stay in India.”

That reply had made him laugh again. Even though he had met her in person only once, he remembered how animated she got when she talked. At this point, her innocent face would also have been flushed with her irritation at him. She would be an amusing sight to behold right now, he had thought.

If she wanted to stay back in India, it was no surprise that she wanted to do a Ph. D. under him. People around him had forever wondered why he came back to India. But then, it probably didn’t matter that he did. Unlike many others, his research productivity had not suffered after returning from the US. He was actively publishing in major journals in the field, getting invited to the conferences and was a well-respected researcher. He had worked as a guest faculty at several universities in the US and Europe for short-term, though he never accepted a long-term position outside India.

Despite all that, he had considered it his duty to impress upon her that staying in India was not the best option. But doing it over e-mail was difficult. He had asked her if they could talk on phone.

“Let’s talk in person. I am flying to Delhi next week. Would you be available?” she had replied.

He was happy to be available!

She had walked in wearing a jeans and a plain t-shirt. Her shoulder length hair was tied in a pony-tail. The only accessories she had on were a pair of small ear-rings and a watch. There was no visible make-up on her. She looked like any other youngster in an Indian metro. In fact more sober than most of them. Nothing in her appearance would give away even a hint of how rich a family she came from. At least not until you noticed that all the simple-looking stuff she was wearing came from expensive brands. They were not the fake ones bought off the streets in Delhi. Paritosh couldn’t fathom why he had noticed that. Perhaps because he knew her to be rich. Her face and features were feminine and innocent, and on them, her no-frills clothes, tomboyish behavior and demanding demeanor looked unnatural. As if she was putting on an act. But over last year and a half, Paritosh had dealt with her every day. She was like that only. There was no act! And now, to him, it no longer looked unnatural. She acted like a spoiled brat most of the time. But spoiled for higher things in life. Like her academic and research achievements.

“I don’t understand you, Dr. Khanna,” she was on the offensive from the very beginning in that meeting, “Just tell me this. Would you or would you not like to have me as your Ph. D. student?”

“I would like to. But I also don’t understand you, Rupali. Why would you not want to go to the US for a Ph. D.? You do understand that career-wise that will be the best thing for you.”

“And you, of all the people, are saying that? You have done most of your research from India?”

“Yes. But even I hadn’t stayed back for my Ph. D. Plus there were personal reasons.”

“I have personal reasons too,” she had retorted, rather than replied.

“Oh!” Paritosh had hesitated, “Do you mind sharing? Only if you are comfortable.”

“I don’t mind. I got inclined towards the field of Machine Learning and Computer Science research only because of you.”

“Excuse me?”

“You would not remember. You had come to our college for a tech-talk during our annual tech festival.”

“That was what? Four years ago?”

“Yes. I was in my first year. I had just joined the college.”

“I see,” This was an unexpected turn in the conversation and Paritosh was not prepared for it.

“I had gone to IIT Kharagpur next year only to hear your talk. Then, of course, the conference in Zurich–”

“I remember that. By the way, when people say ‘personal reasons’, most of the time they mean some problem, or obligation. Not this!”

“Well. If you need a personal reason of that kind, My Mom is terrified with the idea of my even stepping out of the house. Going out of the country will give her a heart-attack. Or at least she will behave like she is getting one. So, you see! Personal reasons!”

“But if I said no, you will go to Stanford or CMU, right?”

“Yes.”

“So, Rupali. It’s not a personal reason. What you are indulging in is hero-worshipping and–”

“Oh God! Doing a Ph. D. and more outside India has not changed you much, has it? You preach like Indian parents. But you know what! I can put up with that.”

Paritosh had sighed and shook his head. She was headstrong. Right or wrong, there was no changing her mind. He gave his consent. Even worked through the administrative hassles to get her exempted from writing GATE.

“What harm can writing GATE bring?” he had tried to persuade her to just go with the system, “You will easily get a record score there!”

“Is that your way of ensuring that I go to the US?” she had retorted and he had given up on trying to tame her.

To be continued

Finding the Destiny

Posted 6 CommentsPosted in English, Malti-Puru, Original

Malti was stunned for a moment when the name of the chief-guest for Abhinav’s school function was announced and he gracefully walked in. She involuntarily clutched the hands of her chair.

“Mr. Puru Reddy, MD and chairman of Aeon Finances and chairman of trustees of our school,” the host introduced the chief guest. Malti came out of her reverie, when applause from the audience followed the introduction. She found eight-year old Abhinav tugging at her sleeves.

“Mommy. He is going to be giving me the award,” he informed her excitedly.

“Is it?” Malti smiled at Abhinav nervously and tried to reciprocate his excitement, “That’s great Abhi.”

The name immediaely caught Puru’s attention – Abhinav Aman. The host had announced the prize for a debate competition, or was it recitation? The principal was giving away these prizes. Puru only had to do the honour towards the end and give the important prizes and awards. Like the toppers of each class, the all-round achievement awards etc.

He recalled the conversation about that name from several years ago.

“Aman? That’s not quite a surname, is it?” he had asked her.

She had laughed slightly, “His surname was sacrificed on the altar of my feminism. We figured there isn’t a good way of deciding who surname a child should inherit. Why should it obviously be father’s? So, we decided to do away with the surname altogether. But too many forms insist on second name. So, he had to have one…”

“Ingennious!”

He looked at the child intently the next time a prize was announced for him. It was for some dancing competition. Was he imagining it or were his facial features very similar to that of the woman he hadn’t forgotten even after five years? He had managed to hear that he studied in class fourth, when the prize was annouced. Her son would be eight years old now. And class fourth sounded just right for a kid of that age. His eyes followed Abhinav back to his seat. Surely enough! It was her, sitting next to him. Malti Sharma!

Malti knew the Puru’s eyes had been more or less fixed on her since he had noticed her.

“Wait Abhi,” she told her son, “Let others leave. We will leave once the doors are less crowded.”

Malti noticed that Puru shook hands with the Principal and other people on the stage itself and took leave, refusing their entreaties to join them for dinner. He came directly to them.

“Malti. What a surprise!”

“Surprise indeed. How are you?” Malti asked as they shook hands.

“Since when are you in Mumbai?”

“Barely seven months. Abhi had to be admitted to the school mid-year. Thankfully the Principal cooperated.”

“Mid-year admission and so many prizes? Best all-rounder? Genius, eh? Like mother, like son!”

“Touch wood,” Malti said reflexively.

“You have not changed a bit. Still can’t bask in happiness without fearing that you will lose it.”

Malti laughed and did not say anything in reply. Not even her usual “I am just a realist”. Puru wondered if he is imagining it, but her laughter looked sad.

“Where is Ritesh?” he asked changing the topic. A cloud passed over her face.

“Abhi,” she addressed Abhinav instead of him, “Baby, can you get me a glass of water? You know where water coolers are, right? Run and get me some please.”

“Okay Mommy.”

Malti waited till Abhinav was out of sight. Puru was looking at her curiously.

“I don’t like to talk about it in front of him. Though he knows… And I think understands as well. We are separated. Actually… divorced now.”

“What?” Puru’s extreme surprise was obvious in his expressions, “How can… I… I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. It has been a long time.”

“Long time?” Puru was even more surprised.

“We separated three years back and divorce came through the year after. Abhi is coming… Let’s not talk about this before him, please.”

“Sure,” Puru assured her hastily, “Are you going home?”

“I have promised Abhi to take him to McDonalds today.”

“Okay. Carry on, then. And here is my card. I hope to keep in touch now. It is bad enough that I didn’t know you were here all these months.”

“Yeah. I am sorry about that. New city, new job, settling down, Abhi’s admission… I was just too…” she also handed him her card.

“I understand. I think we shouldn’t keep Abhinav awake till late. You go ahead. Good night, Malti. And take care.”

“You too. Bye.”

“Mommy. Water?”

“Oh yes, dear,” Malti had forgotten about the water as it was just an alibi to send Abhinav away. She took the disposable glass from him, had a sip and threw the glass into a nearby dustbin.

Malti’s and Puru’s eyes met once before they went their separate ways.

Puru tossed and turned in his bed as his thoughts drifted to past again.

“Forgive me for being blunt, but it does not look like you are happy in this marriage Malti. Have you ever considered moving out?”

“Don’t be absurd Puru,” she had replied confidently, “I am not a dreamy-eyed romantic. No relationship is without its share of ups and downs, or its share of adjustments. Everyone adjusts. I and Ritesh do it too. I would never do something like walking out on my marriage. Even if everything falls apart, which hasn’t by the way, I would stay put because my son deserves a stable and happy childhood. The inseucrities that have clouded my life, I can’t let Abhi be engulfed by them too. Never.”

“You sound pretty confident. I’m sorry if I offended you…”

“It’s okay Puru. I know you meant well. No need to say sorry. But no. That’s not how it’s going to be with me. My married life is fine. And Ritesh is as committed to it as I am.”

“Sure. Good luck and take care. I have to leave now.”

And at that moment, he had decided to bury his feelings and never let them come out. He had no rights to disturb her life, a life that she was so content with.

His resolve was made easier when he had heard that she was changing her job. It meant she would no longer work with him. But the news coming in at the last moment had offended him.

“You will be gone from tomorrow and you are telling me now?”

“You know how the lawyers work, Puru. I have been handing over my tasks for a while now, but they did not want me to disclose it here. My hands were tied.”

“I… and my entire team will miss you. We’d never have done those wonderful negotations, but for you and…”

“You will have a competent replacement. I am not the only negotiation specialist in the world.”

Puru had just smiled at that. There was no reason why they could not meet up socially after her job change. But they did not. Puru was hesitant because of his weakness for her. And Malti never tried from her side. After couple of months, he had come back to Mumbai and visited his Delhi office only once in a while.

But now Malti was in Mumbai. And she was divorced! Had been so for two years. Don’t start hoping, he told himself. He did not know what she has been through. He did not know what she thought of him. He did not know if they were the same people that they had been five years ago? He was the same, he thought. But she?

It took him two days to finally make the call. He had been anxious. He did not know if he was welcome in her life. He had hoped that she would call. But she had never tried to reach out earlier. She wasn’t going to do that now. If he wanted to talk to her, if he wanted to find out, he will have to take the lead.

“Hi Puru. How are you?”

“So, you have my number stored at least. You could have pressed a call button too.”

“I am sorry…”

“It’s okay. I am just joking,” he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, “I called up because I thought we should catch up.”

“Yeah,” he sensed hesitation in her voice. But his prayers were answered by what she said next, “Let’s meet up sometime.”

“Coffee?”

“Could you take time out for dinner? I have to pick Abhi up from school in the afternoons and then rush back to work.”

“Sure. Dinner looks fantastic,” he had only tried to play it safe by asking for coffee. He was happy to have leisurely conversation over dinner, “Tell me a place that is convenient to you. I don’t want you running around with Abhinav…”

“Thanks. Could you come home, say tomorrow? That way I can put Abhi to bed in time…”

“Sure. I will see you tomorrow. And listen…”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t bother yourself with cooking. I know you are already overworked. We will order something in.”

Malti smiled and Puru could feel that in her voice as she said, “Considerate as always, Mr. Puru Reddy. You haven’t changed much. Don’t worry. If I don’t get time I will order something.”

The smile lingered on Malti’s lips even after she had disconnected the call. Empathy had been his charm, always. That birthday was still the most unforgettable one for her.

“What is this?” Malti had inquires as Puru handed her a small, gift-wrapped box.

“It’s your birthday gift.”

“You remembered?” she was surprised.

“Well. Your employer had sent me your detailed resume before appointing you to work on our case.”

“Still… Can I open it?”

“Of course.”

She opened it to find a bluetooth handsfree for her mobile in it. She checked out the brand name and model and knew that it was one of the most expensive models around.

“With the amount of time you spend on phone, I am surprised your arms are not already dysfunctional,” he explained with a smile. She knew! She, herself, had thought of buying one so many times. But when did she have time for herself. Between her demanding job with Mathur and Associates, married life with Ritesh and now a toddler Abhinav to take care of, she hardly managed to squeeze out a few hours for sleeping.

“That was very thoughtful,” Malti was truly touched.

“So, what are the plans for the big day?”

“Plans? You mean for the birthday? Where is time for all that in our lives now Puru?”

“I am sure Ritesh would have planned something.”

“I don’t think he even remembers.”

“Of course, he does. How can he forget his wife’s birthday?”

“We have been married for five years now. The time for filmy romannce is gone!”

Puru looked unconvinced, but he did not insist, “Well. What would I know?”

“Yeah,” she laughed pleasantly, “Until you are married yourself, you have all the rights to be romantic and dreamy!”

“Malti. Are we ready?” her colleague’s question brought her back to present.

“Yeah. Let’s go,” she said and tried to focus on the meeting that she had to attend.

“Shall I get food?” Malti asked after they had finished their glasses of juice.

“Isn’t it going to be Abhinav’s bed time soon? What time does he sleep?”

“Well… If I don’t switch off that cartoon network, he is never going to sleep. But I generally force him to bed at nine.”

“You would be able to eat more peacefully once he is asleep. I can wait.”

“Let me put him to bed then. I am sorry, you would have to hang around alone for a while.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

Malti returned after twenty minutes.

“I should have invited you wife too. Then I won’t feel guilty for keeping you here so late,” Malti joked, “But I thought we, ourselves, were meeting after so long…”

“Even if you hadn’t thought that and had insisted on inviting my wife, I would not have been able to bring her,” Puru interrupted.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t have a wife!”

“Oh!” Malti was surprised, “I am sorry. I assumed… It has been so long.”

“Well… Some things never change.”

Malti smiled, “So, you never found anyone up to your standards?”

“May be she hasn’t found me yet.”

“As you wish to put it. I will get food.”

Their conversation while eating was mostly around their work, which shifted to life outside work towards the end.

“Movies?” Malti laughed, “Where is time for any of that. Between work and Abhi’s responsibilities, I hardly get time to breathe. I dread even social invitations from my colleagues.”

“Being a single parent has been tough, hasn’t it Malti?” his voice turned soft as he asked.

His question caught Malti unawares. She hesitated in replying for a moment, then said, “I am managing.”

“What went wrong? Between you and Ritesh I mean. You were so determined…”

“Are you done?” Malti asked pointing towards his plate.

“Yeah.”

“Let me clear the plates then.”

“I will help,” he replied not letting her clear his plate.

They carried their plates and other utensils back to the kitchen in awkward silence. After they were done, Puru wondered if he should apologize. He had still not made up his mind when they came back to the hall and sat down on the sofa across each other. To his relief Malti spoke first, “It was his decision. He wanted a divorce.”

“But why?” Puru could not help asking.

“I hadn’t let him explain completely. I think… I did not have the heart to listen to it all. But whatever he did manage to say, it meant that he was tired of my negative outlook. He thought I was scared to accept good things, happiness in life and kept terming it “realism”, which it wasn’t. He couldn’t tolerate it any more. We weren’t suitable for each other. Plus his childhood friend was back from the US and they had fallen in love with each other.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No need to be, Puru. He was right. And he was brave. He faced his feelings. I always took cover behind Abhi’s welfare. If I had dared to, I would have reached the same conclusion. I wasn’t a positive or happy person like him. I tried, but I could not be.”

“Malti. You are being too hard on yourself. Incompatibility is between two individuals. Your being incompatible with Ritesh does not mean there was anything wrong with you.”

“You are being kind, Puru. I know what I am. Anyway, care for some coffee?”

Puru realized that she did not want to talk further about it and he also did not know what to say next. So, he cooperated in her attempt to divert the conversation, “Sure. Coffee will be good.”

“Puru. Are you home? I haven’t talked to Preethi is a while. Why don’t you call her?”

“She would be in her classes Amma. I will call later.”

His mother was so dependent on him, she could not even make a call to her own daughter, if he wasn’t around. That was cute, except when… it was tiring. He was sixteen when his father, a stock broker with a small financial firm, had passed away in an accident. For his profession, he hadn’t done a great financial planning for his family. He shuddered to think of the time… Preethi had just been born.Amma was so shattered, she could hardly hold herself togehter, let alone care for the baby. He had to grow up immediately, and become the man of the house!

Preethi, his kid sister, had been in the US for last two years. He brought her up like a father. But… had he been successful? Probably no. If he had been, she wouldn’t have grown up to be so immature… The reason he was not calling her was not because she would be in classes. It was a saturday. She wouldn’t have classes. Amma didn’t realize… Or probably she didn’t even know. He sighed as he thought about that. And Preethi… He wasn’t calling her because of the e-mail he had received from her last night. About her “future plans”… or disaster as far as he could tell. Amma should know. She should make her understand. But if he told Amma, instead of being a help, she would become another source of worry for him. She would cry and curse herself and Preethi and God and probably drive herself sick! He looked around cautiously. Amma had gone back to her room.

“You need to delegate Puru,” he remembered another conversation with Malti all those years ago, “Your company is growing. You are paying people well. You have talented people. You can hire more, if required. Why do you want to do everything yourself? I am not sure why I am working with you directly. These things could easily have been handled by your legal department and probably a deputy of yours.”

“So, you don’t like working with me?” he had joked.

“You know very well, I didn’t mean that. Look – it is tempting to try and do everything yourself. After all no body can do it like you can. That’s true, but not workable in long run. Every time I have to train a new researcher, I seriously feel like I should just do my research on my own. But that would kill me. And your work is killing you, as far as I can see.”

“Point taken. I will try. But this work is all that I have. It keeps me busy. I will never be able to get away from it.”

“That’s fine. But focus on things that really need your attention, rather than day to day stuff.”

“Yes Your Honour.”

Puru smiled even as he came out of his thoughts. He had started taking off on saturdays and had no formal appointments. But there wasn’t much else to do. He wondered if flipping through TV channles sitting at home was a better way of relaxing or just going to office finishing off some work that he would have to look through on Monday anyway.

Or… If he can’t delegate Preethi’s issue to someone else, can he take help? Whose? Probably only a woman could help him out here. And there seemed to be only one really dependable woman he knew!

“Hi Puru. What’s up?” Malti picked up her mobile.

“Umm… nothing much,” he was unsettled on hearing her voice and lost track of his thoughts for a moment. Then he gathered himself togehter, “What are your plans for today?”

“My plans… well they are dictated by my little master. He has been a good boy the entire week under my promise that I will take him wherever he wants on saturday.”

Puru smiled, “So, where does he want to go?”

“I don’t know.Here he is. Let me ask…. Water park? Oh no!!”

“What happened, Malti?”

“He wants to go to the Water Park.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“My adventures are limited to legal and mental battles Puru. I am scared of water sports and the rides and all that stuff. That’s why I always avoid taking him there…”

“I have a solution.”

“Yeah?”

“I can come with you and accompany him in the sports and rides.”

“Really?” Malti sounded excited and happy, but she became cautious the very next moment, “Are you sure Puru? It won’t disturb your plans or schedule…”

“Come on Malti. I’m sure I will enjoy it too.”

“Okay.”

“I will pick you up in half an hour.”

“Thank you,” Malti said sincerely when they were standing together as Abhinav enjoyed a game with other children, “Abhi is really enjoying this outing. It wouldn’t have been possible without you.”

“No need to thank me Malti. I am enjoying it as much.”

“If I can ask, are you worried about something?”

“Why do you ask?” Puru was startled by her questions. He wasn’t expecting that.

“It’s… just a feeling… You are getting lost in your thoughts every once in a while. And then the next moment you come back as if you are trying to distract yourself from what was really on your mind while playing with Abhi… Don’t get me wrong… You are doing everything for him, but you yourself look worried…”

Puru sighed and Malti stopped speaking.

“I’m right, then. What is it?” she spoke again.

“It’s not work-related Malti…”

“I can keep secrets.”

He looked at her intently and smiled, “Yes. I trust you with that. In fact… when I had called you today, it was because I wanted to talk to you about it. But then…”

“I started blabbering about Abhi’s demands…”

“No. No. That’s not a problem, Malti. Trust me. I am really enjoying this. Something I have not done in a long time. I think I could not give to Preethi, what you are giving to Abhi.”

“Preethi?”

“My sister.”

“Oh. What is the problem?”

“She has found this guy she thinks she is head over heals in love with. She won’t listen to anyone and wants to get married right away…”

“What’s wrong with that? She is an adult. Why are you being so possessive?”

“She is seventeen, Malti.”

“Seventeen? How come? How old are you?”

“I am thirty-three. She is much younger to me. Amma had two miscarriages after me. So…”

“Actually not so much younger than it initially looked. I thought you were older.”

That amused Puru,”How old did you think I was?”

“Leave it.”

“Come on now. Tell me.”

“Close to forty I had thought. Obviously I was stupid…” Malti was embarrassed.

Puru laughed slightly, “So, I look old.”

“You look, behave and sound mature. I hadn’t thought you could actually be younger to me.”

“I am younger to you?”

“By a year – not much. Still…”

“Ah!”

“Sorry. I got distracted. Does Preethi stay with you?”

“No. And I think that was my biggest mistake. I wanted the best for her. I sent her to the US to complete her school. She was in a boarding for schooling. Now, she has just started college, staying on her own and this… Obviously she is not mature enough to be living on her own.”

“But she can’t get married at 17…”

“In US, apparently some states allow it with parental consent… And that’s what she wants from me…”

“And if you say no…”

“I am afraid she will do something stupid. I think I should go there and talk to her. But I suddenly realized that I have always treated her as a baby. I don’t even know how to start talking to her as an adult… Much less as a woman…”

“Ask your mother to talk to her. There is always…”

“I haven’t told Amma yet.”

“No? Why… Oh! You think she will… freak out?”

Puru nodded.

“Stall it, then. Don’t say no, don’t confront. But find some way of stalling this marriage nonsense. People are fickle at that age. She would realize herself in a matter of months or days, as she sees more of the world, that she doesn’t want to get married this early.”

“How do I do that?”

“Let me think.”

Abhi came back just then and they decided to grab something to eat at a fast food joint in the park before heading back home.

“I have an idea,” Malti suddenly said.

“What?”

“Abhi. You seem done? You want to use that swing for a while?” she asked her son. She wanted to send him away.

“Was he full?” Puru was concerned.

“No. But it’s better if he does not eat much of this junk food. I will give him his regular food once we are home.”

“So, what is the idea?”

“Can you call her now?”

“It would be late night there. But knowing her lifestyle, she is probably awake.”

“Good then. Listen….”

“Anna?” Preethi’s uncertain voice came from the other side as she picked up Puru’s phone. His phone was on speaker and Malti nodded to Puru asking him to go on as per the plan.

“Preethi. Did I wake you up?”

“No. I was awake. But I didn’t think you would call now. I was waiting all day though. Did you read my e-mail?”

“Yeah. About that…”

“Look Anna. I know you don’t understand these things. You have never been in love, have you? But you have to do this for me… Otherwise…”

“Wait Preethi. I just want your happiness, but why are you in such a hurry? You are only seventeen.”

“Because we are just wonderful together. And I know all the caution about immaturity etc. I am not as immature as Amma thinks, because she would never let me be on my own, when I am there. Tell me when can you come here…”

“Listen darling. I am not against your marrying whosoever you want. I am not asking you to leave him. Just do me one favour?”

“What?” Malti discerned a slight sigh of relief in her voice, when Puru did not oppose her.

“You know Amma has big dreams about your wedding…”

“So?”

“So. I want that the wedding to happen in India.”

“Oh!”

“There is just one glitch. Until you turn eighteen, wedding in India is not legal. So, all I am asking of you is to wait for one year. Then we will have a grand wedding here. Getting Amma to agree will be my responsibility.”

“I… I don’t know. I will ask Dave and then let you know.”

“Take your time in deciding. I want you to be happy. But Amma is my responsibility too. Just keep her happiness in mind. That will make it easier for me. But whatever happens, don’t do anything stupid. Okay?”

“Okay Anna. Thank you…”

“Good night, Preethi. Go to bed, now. It is almost morning there.”

“Bye Anna.”

“Bye.”

“I think that was encouraging,” Malti said after the call was disconnected.

“Well… I had the best negotiator in the world guiding me,” Puru said although it was clear that his mind was not completely at peace yet.

Suddenly Malti pressed his hand, “It will be all right Puru. Trust me.”

“Thanks.”

“And when she calls, if you are not sure how to respond, just stall. Okay?”

Puru nodded his head with a smile, “Can I give you a job offer to join my company?”

“Ah! That would be a bad idea.”

“Why?”

“As a negotiator, I can’t work alone. I need a team of specialist lawyers, researchers and others behind me. Assembling and paying that entire team is a job best left to a legal company. They would be an overkill in a finance company. You are better off hiring my company when needed, than hiring me.”

“Got it!”

“Shall we go now? If we let Abhi roam around for longer, he will surely fall ill.”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

Abhinav had bonded very well with Puru during their outing. And Malti was surprised to see how well Puru was handling him. He definitely had a way with kids.

“When will you take me for camping Uncle?” Abhinav asked enthusiastically on their ride back.

“Abhi!” Malti chided him for taking liberties with Puru, “He has a company to run darling.”

“But he himself promised me, Mommy.”

“He is right Malti,” Puru intervened, “I promised him. And Abhinav, I intend to keep that promise. Your summer vacations are starting soon, right?”

“Puru!” Malti looked serious and worried.

“What happened?” Puru asked hesitantly, “Is there a problem?” Did she not like him being around her son?

“Abhi. You want to watch some of your DVDs?” Malti took out a small portable DVD player and the Abhinav’s cartoon DVDs from a bag.

“No Mommy. Not now.”

“Let’s stop for an ice-cream,” Puru said. He realized that Malti wanted to talk about something, but not when Abhinav was listening.

“Yay!” Abhinav was excited.

“Here,” Puru handed him a 100 Rs. note, “You are a big boy, right? Go get an ice-cream for yourself.”

Abhi ran towards the booth from where icecreams were being sold. The place and the booth was mostly deserted. So, they didn’t have to worry about Abhinav’s safety.

“What is it, Malti?” Puru turned towards her and asked.

“He is a child, Puru. Anything older people tell the kids, they take it to heart. Abhi has obviously enjoyed his time with you. I haven’t seen him so excited very often. If you promise something, he will really take it to heart. And then…”

“And then?”

“You have your responsibilities. I don’t expect you to run around all the time taking care of Abhi…”

“Malti. You can be upfront. Do you have a problem with me being around Abhinav?” Puru asked her sharply.

“Of course not, Puru. But I have to be careful. He should not start taking you for granted. He was very young, but he has felt the loss of his father. In one of those vulnerable moments, he still wonders if his Daddy left us because of him… Tomorrow I can’t answer if he asks why Puru Uncle did not take him for camping or for whatever promise he has extracted out of you in these playful moments…”

“Malti,” Puru spoke calmly, “When I promised to take him to camping, I meant it. And I fully intend to keep that promise up, if you will allow me. But I understand your concern. And here is my promise to you. I will never hurt your son. Never!”

The sincerity in his voice made Malti emotional. She felt a lump forming in her throat and also regretted saying all she had just said to him. She knew how caring he was. She shouldn’t have…

Puru realized that Malti was about to cry. “Don’t,” he said, “Don’t cry. He is coming.”

Malti blinked back her tears and turned to look at Abhinav. He seemed to be struggling with all the icre-cream cones he was carrying. Both Puru and Malti got out of the car and rushed towards him to help.

“How much icecream did you buy Abhi?” Malti asked.

“Butter-scotch – your favourite for you Mommy,” he said innocently. Malti felt overwhelmed with this gesture. While Puru took all the cones from his hands, she bent down and kissed his forehead.

“And who are the three chocolate cones for?” Puru asked as he handed over the butter scotch cone to Malti.

“I did not know your favourite. So, I brought my favourite for you.”

“I like chocolate. So, one chocolate for me, another one for you,” he handed one back to Abhinav, “And for whom is this last one?”

“For me,” Abhinav replied matter-of-factly.

“Why two for you? That’s not fair,” Puru teased him.

“Because I am the kid. Kids get more ice-creams and chocolates.”

Malti and Puru laughed at his clever reply and Puru handed another cone to Abhinav.

“Come inside. Have some coffee or tea before leaving,” Malti invited Puru when he dropped them at their home. Abhinav had already ran away with the keys to get into the house and open all the souvenirs he had bought at the park.

“No. Some other time. You go and feed Abhinav. I will call you later.”

“Puru,” Malti said looking embarrassed and hesitant, “I’m sorry. About what I said… I am probably paranoid. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Malti! No need to talk about that. It’s okay. And thanks for helping about Preethi.”

“She will be all right. Just let me know if she calls or writes.”

“Sure. Bye Malti.”

“Bye Puru.”

Malti had a hard time focusing on Abhinav’s chatter after that. She did not know why she was feeling so disoriented. But she was. She finally managed to engage Abhi with his coloring book and sat down on a chair near the window to have some me-time. She looked out and kept thinking. She couldn’t have recounted what she was thinking about though, when Abhi came running to her asking her to switch on the TV for him.

“You know how to do that Abhi. Do it yourself,” she told him.

“The main switch is off Mommy. I can’t reach there.”

“Okay. I will help you.”

After she switched the TV on, she felt guilty about having spent last few hours lost in her thought, instead of giving that time to Abhi. She decided to watch cartoon with him to make up for it.

“Malti? What happened? Is something wrong?” Puru not only got surprised, but also panicked at Malti’s call.

“No. Nothing is wrong. What happened? Why are you so worked up?”

“Uh.. Sorry,” he felt embarrassed, “Just that… you never call. So, I got worried. I am sorry.”

Malti fell silent for a moment on hearing that. Then she said, “I’m sorry. I must have come across as so selfish. I…”

“Come on Malti. It’s okay. I over-reacted. Anyway. Tell me, what’s up?”

“I… I just called up to say thanks for going with us on that outing. It was wonderful. Abhi can’t stop talking about it. He really enjoyed it…”

“And you?” Puru asked playfully.

“Me too. Of course. That goes without saying. And Puru…”

“Yeah?”

“I have a day off tomorrow and Abhi is going on a day trip from school. So, I was wondering if you were free for lunch.”

Malti couldn’t see the broad smile forming on Puru’s lips as he heard that. But the smile disappeared when he looked at his calendar. He had an appointment at 2 and there was no way he could have cancelled it. It was with an infamous politicians and one couldn’t afford to irk such people. What should he do?

“Of course. I am Malti,” he hoped he didn’t sound more eager than was appropriate, “Just that I have to be back by two. So, I might not be able to come to your home. Can we meet in a restaurant close to my office?”

“Umm… Okay. Sure. But the treat is on me. A thank you treat, you can say.”

“Sure. Let’s meet at 12 in my office and then we will walk down.”

“I was looking up at some kid-safe camping sites,” Puru told her during the lunch.

“You were?”

“I found some. They are not far from the city. And there are agencies that help you plan and setup the entire thing. It should be comfortable and fun.”

“You need to get married and have babies, Puru. You are so good with Kids.”

Puru smile very slightly, hoping not to show his disappointment that she didn’t seem to understand his feelings.

“As soon as she find me…” he said in low voice.

“That is some excuse. Be a man and take charge.”

“Should I?”

“Of course. What kind of question is that.”

“All right. I will try.”

“Puru. I was about to call you. I am so sorry. I have just sprained my legs. I can’t go for camping.”

“What happened? Show me… Oh God! What did you do?”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t even a slippery surface. But…”

“We should take you to a doctor.”

“It’s nothing major. I should be fine by morning. Just that I can’t go now. Oh God! Look at Abhi. He is so disappointed. I am so sorry darling. If it were anything else, I would not cancel it. But I can’t go camping with a sprained leg. Come here. Come to Mommy…”

Abhinav did go to her and let her hug him, but he was still listless and disappointed.

“How bad is it hurting Malti? Will you be able to manage on your own. Or should someone stay with you?”

“Oh no! It’s not that big a problem. Don’t worry about me.”

Puru thought for a moment, “Is it okay, if Abhi goes with me?”

Malti was taken aback at the proposal. She hadn’t thought about it. How could she send Abhi with anyone alone? She was about to say ‘no’ emphatically, when she looked at her son’s fallen face again. If he had both his parents with him, going with his father would have been most natural thing to do in this situation. Unfortunately, he didn’t have his father. But… at least today… he did have Puru. She looked back at Puru, “Are you sure?”

“I am very sure. Just tell me what all should I take care of and…”

“Will you go with Puru Uncle, Abhi?” she asked Abhinav before replying to Puru.

Slowly colour returned to the child’s face, as he realized that his mother was seriously considering the proposal. He hadn’t expected her to. He grinned, “Yes Mommy.”

“But you must not trouble him. Okay? No fuss for eating, sleeping, anything. You will behave yourself, right?”

“Yes. I will. Promise.”

Malti kissed him on his forehead, then turned to Puru and told him about everything she had packed for Abhi, what time should he be fed and other precautions. “Just call me if he creates any troubles. I hope there will be signal…”

“He is a fine kid Malti. I will bring him back happy and safe. Trust me.”

“Of course,” she smiled, “I trust you. And thanks. Seeing him so disappointment was making me feel so guilty.”

“Now, just lie down and take rest. Order pizza or something for dinner. Don’t try to cook.”

“Yeah,” Malti nodded.

She managed to limp forward and close the door behind them. Then she lied down on the living room sofa. Not wanting to see her son so disappointed, she had sent him with Puru. But now she was feeling nervous. How many years had it been that Abhi hadn’t spent a single day away from her. After separating from Ritesh, she had taken him even on business trips with her. Thankfully, there weren’t so many of them that his studies would be affected. Now, for the first time she had handed over the responsibility to some one else.

She took a few deep breaths and tried to calm her nerves down. ‘He has gone with Puru,’ she told herself, ‘Someone infinitely more responsible and caring than his own father. He would be fine.’

But the thought scared her the next moment. This dependence, this trust, these feelings for Puru could become her undoing. She had walked away from him all those years back by changing her job and had never contacted him since then. But now, he had smoothly glided back into her life. And she had helplessly let him do that. Where was this going to lead her? It will just leave her pining for what can never be hers. The thoughts of future were too painful. She drifted into the past instead.

Aeon Finances sold financial products to individuals and did so with the help of its franchisee operations. But in every city, there would be a small-time broker running a shop under the same name and would create a problem with trademarks. They had hired the firm Malti worked for to sort this out for them when they started their Delhi operations. It was routine negotiation for Malti and within a month it had been settled outside the court for a lump-sump payment to the broker.

But real trouble broke two days after this settlement was done. The news of the generous settlement Aeon finances had given to the broker leaked and suddenly there were a flurry of claims about the prior use of trademark Aeon Finances wanted to use for its franchisee. Malti and her team had to come rushing back to Puru’s office to see the details.

“This is absurd!” Puru had exclaimed, “I have never seen anything like this before in any other city. So, many people could not be using the same name since forever.”

“This is Delhi,” Malti had said coolly, “You have been working mostly in Southern and Western parts of the country before this, if I know correctly.”

“Right. But what are we supposed to do with this? If we keep negotiating with each one of them, well my operations would shut down even before starting.”

“I have an idea. But give me a day to discuss it with my team. It will need some planning.”

Puru had nodded and had tried to appear calm. But she could see that he was agitated, almost nervous.

“You are not convinced?”

“I hate it when I don’t have control over things.”

“Let me handle it for you and relax. We’d find a way out,” Malti had said. He had looked surprised for a moment, but had smiled afterwards.

“We have another claim of prior use,” Puru had thrown a file in exasperation before Malti the next day she came to his office.

“I know. And we will take this one to the courts.”

“Courts? Are you crazy? This will never be settled then…”

“A fast track court. And we will defeat them.”

“You are so sure?”

“Because this claim has been filed on our insistence.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Here is the plan…”

And she had explained it. This claim was filed by someone who was unofficially working for Malti’s firm. They would take it to the court, have him lose it and leak just the right kind of news for others.

“What kind of news?”

“That this guy indeed was using it from before, but we had managed to prove it in the court that his papers were fake. These people filing the claims are small-time thugs looking to make quick money. If they see that the quick money is not coming their way, they will chicken out.”

“Will it work?”

“Worth a shot.”

With minor glitches, it had indeed worked. Finally they were left with only two claims, which seemed genuine and they had been able to settle it with compensation. Over three months that Malti worked with Puru on this issue, not only had they begun to admire each other professionally, but had also developed a good friendship. Following the success of this project, Malti’s firm was hired to carry out more negotiations for Aeon Finances.

But Malti saw a problem cropping up when she realized that she had started desiring more than friendship from Puru. That was a disastrous thought. She was married with a two year son to take care of. Not something she could risk destroying. And that’s when she had decided to change the job and let go of it.

‘It was a perfect plan and had appeared to work,’ Malti thought as she returned to present, ‘Only destiny always has its own plans for us.’

Just then her phone rang. It was Puru to ask after her health and to inform her that they had reached the camping site and Abhi was doing fine. She figured that he was so excited and happy that he hardly spoke to her on phone.

After Puru had dropped an excited Abhi home after their camping night, they hadn’t talked to each other. It had been almost a week and Puru was hoping, rather wishing, that she would call. He, himself, was dying to call, but did not know what alibi could he use. Were they friends enough that they could call and meet without any reason? Probably. But since Malti never took a step forward, Puru did not feel confident. The only time she had called and invited him was to thank for the accompanying them on the outing. But this time she seemed determined to not do even that for camping.

Finally he gave up on waiting. He decided to take her advice that she had given unknowingly, “Be a man and take charge.” After finishing his work he drove towards her house. It was 8.30 in the evening when he reached there and he hoped she would be back from work. But the call bell went unanswered. He was about to return disappointed, when on some urge, he tried the door. It was open. He opened it slightly and called Malti and Abhinav. There was no answer. So, he gingerly walked in. He looked around and the house seemed empty. He got worried. Where had they gone leaving the door unlocked like this? He found the door keys on a table and picked it up. He came out and decided to call her after locking the door. He was still locking the door, when an elderly lady came out from the neighboring flat.

“Excuse me?” she addressed Puru when she saw him locking Malti’s door, “Who are you?”

“I am Malti’s friend. I had come to meet her, but she is not here and the door was open. So, I am locking it. Do you know where she is?”

“She had left her door open? Poor thing, she must be traumatized.”

“What happened?”

“Her son had an accident. She has driven him to the hospital.”

“What?” Puru panicked, “What happened? How bad was it?”

“A car was driving towards him uncontrollably. He managed to avoid the car by running away, but hit a pole in the process…”

“Which hospital have they gone to?” Puru felt sick with worry.

“Apollo is nearby…”

Puru did not let her complete the sentence and rushed out.

“Malti!” Puru found her near the emergency room as the receptionist had told him, “How is he?”

“I… I don’t know. They are still treating him…”

“Why the hell did you not call me? Do you have to do everything on your own? Is it insulting for you to take a friend’s help. How can you….” he stopped at once. Malting was staring at him in pain and confusion. He realized that instead of comforting her, he was scolding her for what must seem like pointless to her.

“I am sorry,” he said in a low voice, “I just lost it. I had gone to your home and found it unlocked. Nobody was inside, I panicked. Here is your key.”

Malti took the key, but barely managed to say ‘thanks’ and started sobbing.

“Hey, Malti. It’s okay. Everything will be all right. Come here… sit down.”

“If something happens to him, what will I do? What will I do with my home, with myself, with anything else?” she spoked through her tears as she crushed the key in her palms.

“Nothing will happen. He will be all right. See, he escaped a bigger accident, right? He avoided the speeding car. This won’t be worse. He will be fine. You must calm down.”

She wiped her tears and asked in a voice still heavy from crying, “How did you know I was here?”

“Your neighbour told me.”

“Thanks for coming. I was…”

“There is no need for thanks Malti. You sit here. I will be back in a minute.”

He came back with a bottle of water and two cups of tea. He made Malti have some tea. Soon the doctor treating Abhinav came out and told them that they were able to stop the blood flow from Abhinav’s head. The wounds would take some time to heal, but there was no long term injury.

Malti and Puru sighed in relief.

“Can I see him?” she asked.

“We are shifting him to the ward. He is under sedatives now. Probably in a couple of hours. You can take him home tomorrow evening.”

“Thank you doctor.”

Despite Puru’s repeated request, Malti had refused to go home and take rest. At night only one person could stay with Abhinav and Malti insisted on staying. Puru had to let go. When they brough Abhinav home the next evening, Malti was completely exhausted.

“Are you okay?” Puru asked when she came back to the living room after putting Abhinav to bed.

“Yes… No… I am not… I am so scared…” She looked so vulnerable and broken down that Puru could not hold himself back. He went ahead and hugged her. She also willingly leaned on him for support and cried silently wetting his shirt. Neither of them realized when the hug of need and care from Malti’s and Puru’s side respectively turned passionate. Malti’s clutch on his back became harder and his reassuring pats on her head became rough caresses.

They were brought out of their reverie by Abhinav’s voice from the bedroom. “Mommy. I am in pain…” Startled out of her sense, Malti not only stepped back, but also pushed Puru away as violently as her exhausted and weak body allowed her. Their eyes met for a moment but he could not read anything in her eyes. Then she rushed inside to attend to her son.

When Malti came back after giving Abhinav the pain-killers the doctor had prescribed, the living room was empty. Puru had left. She sank down on the sofa and buried her head in her hands. Her mind was a whirlwind of confused thoughts. What had just happened between them? And what had she done? If their feelings were mutual… No… That wasn’t fair to him… He deserved better than her… But even if that was the case, this wasn’t how she should have told him that… She had pushed him away… Like… As if it was his fault… If it was a mistake, she was equally responsible… She had ended up insulting him… She knew she didn’t do it intentionally… She was just very confused and startled… But the harm was done… What was she to do now?

Malti had taken two days’ leave to attend to Abhinav. When she went back to work, she was taken aback by the news of the next assignment she had to take up. As if things were not complicated enough, she was now supposed to work on a negotiation with Municipal Corporation for Aeon Finances. The only relief was that Puru did not seem to be involved in the process at all. She thanked her stars that he had started delegating. But what was she to do about her aching heart? And Abhi’s?

Abhi asked her about Puru again that night.

“Mommy. Why is Puru Uncle not coming to meet me? He had promised he will come every day till I was well.”

“He got busy darling. He has work to do. And now you are well enough.”

“Is he angry with me?”

Abhi’s insecurity hurt her like daggers. Why Ritesh, why? You were tired of me, fine. But what about your son? You could have seen him once in a while, at least. Ritesh’ mother had a soft corner for her grandson. After their spearattion, she kept coming for a while to meet Abhi. Sometimes she would even take him with her to meet Ritesh. But after Ritesh remarried, she became too busy with her new daughter-in-law and in another year she had another grand child to shower her love over. Ritesh never bothered and that was something Malti could never understand. She snapped her attention back to Abhi and shrugged off the questions and regrets of past.

“Abhi, you are such a sweet boy. Nobody can ever be angry with you. Puru Uncle is just busy with his work, but he has told me that he would come to meet you in a day or two.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” she said confidently. She had to go to Aeon Finances the next day for work. She would meet him, negotiate with him and beg him, if needed. Her son need not be punished for her mistakes.

“He is in a meeting, Ma’am,” his assistant informed Malti, when she went to meet him.

“I will wait.”

“Can I have your card, Ma’am? I will send it to him,” the assistant had an inkling that Malti was a friend since she had seen her going for lunch with Puru once. So, she decided to inform Puru anyway.

Hardly a minute had passed, when Puru appeared in the reception. He was panting as if he had come running. He had obviouly left his meeting mid-way.

“Malti. You could have told me you were coming….”

“I… I just…”

“Come. Let’s go inside,” he directed her to his office and asked, “Are you all right?”

“I had come to talk about Abhi…”

“What happened to him? Any complications in recovering…”

“He is recovering fine… But wouldn’t it be unfair to him if he suffered because of no fault of his. He is missing you. He asks about you everyday. Whatever happened between us…”

“I’m also dying to meet him,” Puru interrupted, “I just thought… Let’s go now.”

“Now? But your work? And you have left a meeting mid-way…”

“I have learned to delegate. There is nothing unhandleable today. Let’s go. How have you come? In your car?”

“No. I came by company’s vehicle.”

“Company’s vehicle? Why?”

“I was here for work. We are handling the negotiations with Municipal Corporation about the land…”

“Oh! I had no idea. Fine then. We can use my car.”

Abhi immediately seemed much more recovered when Puru reached there.

“Puru Uncle. Why didn’t you come yesterday? And where are my chocolates?”

“Here,” Puru took out couple of chocolate bars from his pocket and Malti wondered when did he buy them. They hadn’t stopped on their way home.

“Abhi. Don’t ask him too many questions. I had told you he was busy,” Malti chided Abhinav.

“Let him be Malti. He is right in asking questions. I broke my promise.”

Malti smiled, “Have you had your lunch Puru?”

“Actually… no.”

“Let me feed Abhi. Then I will cook something quickly.”

“Okay. Just put some khichdi or something on the stove. That will do.”

“Fine.”

The medicines Malti gave Abhinav after his lunch made him sleepy. By the time Malti and Puru finished their lunch in Abhinav’s room, he was fast asleep. They came out of the room and sat down in the living room.

“Whom does he stay with when you are in the office?”

“The maid who left after we came. She stays with him until I come back.”

“Safety?”

“She is through a reputed agency and then I have these security cameras in all the room,” she pointed towards the one in the living room.

“Oh my God! You mean, we are being filmed all the time in your house,” Puru said with an obviously exaggerated sense of shock.

Malti laughed at that, “No. I switch them off the first thing when I come back.”

“Thank God,” his sigh was as mock as his shock earlier. Then he turned serious, “I would stay with him during the day time until he recovers fully.”

“What? No way. What about your work? This is not needed…”

“I want to… And I can work from here so long as there is Internet connection.”

“That is there. But…”

“Please Malti…”

Despite trying hard to hold them back, tears came to Malti’s eyes, “How would I ever pay you back for all you are doing for us?”

“You don’t need to. But if you want to you can.”

“How?”

“By forgiving me.”

“Forgiving you? For what?”

“For the other night. I crossed the line and at the wrong time. You were weak and vulnerable. I know what it must have looked like, but trust me Malti. I would never think of taking advtantage of you…”

“Is that why you had left?”

Puru nodded looking very embarrassed.

Malti was surprised and she felt the urge to confess what she had been feeling guilty about. But she stopped herself. If he hadn’t realized what her feelings were, it was better for him to not know. Right now just telling him that she did not hold him responsible was enough.

“It was a momentary weakness, from both of us Puru. You shouldn’t blame yourself for that. Nature has just wired us that way. But we can forget it and move on, can’t we?”

Too many questions came to his mind when she said that. He decided to clarify one by one.

“You are not angry at me?”

“No. I mean… if it was a mistake, it was as much mine as yours.”

Then why hadn’t she called him after that? Not even to ask why he went away? And what the hell it was about forgetting and moving on? He couldn’t forget. He didn’t want to forget. ‘Go slow, Puru!’ he thought and stopped himself from barraging her with questions.

“And Puru,” she spoke again, “You don’t need to give up your work and spend your days with Abhi to apologize for what was not your fault…”

“Malti. I might be a ruthless businessman and I like that image of mine. But this wasn’t a business proposal. I am not staying with him to get something in return from you. I am doing it because I want to. Because I am fond of your son. I care for him.” ‘And you,’ he had wanted to add, but didn’t.

“I know,” Malti smiled in embarrassment, “I am sorry.”

“It’s all right.”

“You didn’t tell me about Preethi?” Malti asked Puru the next day after she came back from the office. Abhi was feeling much better. He watched cartoons, while they had their tea.

“She is no longer talking about marriage…”

“Meaning?”

“I don’t know. She had said she will let me know. You remember that? But after that she has never mentioned the topic.”

“You didn’t ask?”

“I… I just didn’t want to start the topic, if she isn’t doing that.”

“May be she has given up on the idea after all.”

“I am trying to pursuade her to come here for a while. It would be easier to talk then.”

“Yeah.”

“Malti?”

“Hmm?”

“You have never told me about your family. I mean your parents…”

Malti’s reaction was a mix of surprise, hesitation, embarrassment and pain.

“My parents are dead,” she said slowly.

“I am sorry,” Puru said genuinely, although this information had not surprised him. Given that she never talked about them in her day to day life and they didn’t seem to have anything to do with her affairs, it was almost obvious that they were dead.

Malti did not say anything in reply and kept staring at her tea cup. They fell into the grip of an awkward silence for a few moments. Then she spoke, “You want to know more?”

“I do,” Puru said eagerly. While it was clear that something painful was going to come out, getting her to talk seemed like a good idea. And he did want to know her better.

“Ours was what you would call a average middle class family in Rai Bareilly. I had an elder sister and a younger brother. Though not pampered, I remember my childhood to be a fairly happy one. Until… until my sister was married. I was fifteen then. And her wedding was probably the last happy thing I remember in my family. We were all so excited… and then so emotional when she was going away from us. And then everything started going haywire. My sister’s in-laws won’t let her visit us. They demanded gifts and dowry… They wanted Papa to give them a car for Diwali. There was no way we could have managed it. We begged to be allowed to see Didi, to talk to her, to bring her back. They wouldn’t allow it… Sitting here today, it seems impossible that my parents didn’t take a legal recourse. But somehow, in that setting, in that society, taking legal action against your daughter’s family was unthinkable. Next time we saw her, almost one year after her marriage, she was dead. Supposedly an accident at home. But we knew the truth. Just one of those thousands of dowry killings that were passed off as accidents in the kitchen. Mummy and Papa were devastated. They felt so guilty that both of them went into depression. Our house was not cared for. Me and my brother lived like orphans. I tried to keep things together as much as I could, but I… I had my limitations. My brother was three years younger to me. And he started hating the environment at home. A year after Didi’s death, he ran away. My parents did not even try to find him. They did not let me go to police either. And then… Mummy died first. She committed suicide. I was in school and Papa was at office. Few months later, it was Papa… Heart attack… It happened at his office. I could not even talk to him one last time… I was eighteen by then. The insurance money came to me. It was enough to support me. I sold the house with the help of my neighbours and used that for my studies. What happened with Didi had prompted me to study law. But I did not end up becoming criminal lawyer after all. Ritesh came in…” Malti stopped here.

“Go on, Malti. Tell me,” Puru encouraged her to continue.

“In college I was a serious girl, focused on my studies and my career goals. Anything outside that did not matter to me. I did not waste time on movies or entertainment. My extra-curricular activities were strictly limited to the ones that could help me in my career. And I always prepared myself for the worst. If I wasn’t prepared sufficiently for a paper, I imagined that I would fail in it. If I did well in one exam, I worried that the next one will not be as good. And I worked harder… I didn’t take much pleasure in a good news, because I was afraid it will go away. If I topped in an exam, I stayed inside my room to avoid getting complemented. I felt like it would be jinxed… And then I happened to meet Ritesh. It was through a common friend – the few that I happened to have. And he was… he was different. He believed in enjoying life. I was a good student and most of my friends at college were in awe of me. They’d never make fun of my lifestyle. But Ritesh was unreserved. He questioned my inability to be happy, to enjoy what I had at present in the fear of losing it in future. And he motivated me to move on from my past. So what if bad things had happened. I did not have to cling to them. It won’t insult Didi if I took up corporate law instead of criminal law, if it helps me break free from bad memories. And I fell from him. Because he was so different from me. Because going with what he suggested did often make me happy, free, light headed. And I fell so hard that the day he proposed to me, I didnot even step back to ask why he had fallen for me. I just said – yes. I should have asked… Even if he did not realize, I might have realized that it was the idea of being in love that he was in love with. I followed him and it made him feel good, feel strong. He was not in love with me… I should have known…”

“Malti!” Puru interrupted.

“Sorry!” she wiped the tears that had flooded her eyes without her realizing, “This wasn’t what you had asked.”

“Just one thing. I have said it earlier too. Stop being so hard on yourself. It’s okay to be what you are. You are not obliged to fit into anyone else’s idea of who you should be. You are made by circumstances as much as by yourself. Given what you have gone through, it is not surprising that you are cautious, slightly skeptical, not so happy-go-lucky as some other people can be. But that’s fine. That’s perfectly fine. You keep asking me why I haven’t married yet. I will tell you today. You know my story. If you have seen any media coverage you probably know. I was sixteen when my father died. And there was not a penny in the savings. I have no clue what he was thinking. And Amma was out of her wits. Preethi was just a baby. I had no option but to take responsibility. I took it up then. And the result is that now I am already tired of taking responsibilties. Most of the women I meet, or whom Amma keeps choosing for me are so needy, so dependent… I just can’t have another person dependent on me. Between Amma, Preethi and my company I am done! Do I sound like a coward? Yes. Does that make me look weak? Hell – yes! But this is what I am. And what anybody else thinks, I don’t care. You shouldn’t care either.”

Malti was staring at him looking spell-bound. Then she smiled and said genuinely, “Wow!”

“Sorry,” Puru grinned in embarrassment, “I got carried away.”

“Now, at least you won’t have me nagging you to get married. So, you can be at peace.”

Puru smiled and then got up to leave, “I should leave now.”

“Stay for dinner.”

“Amma is expecting me. Apparently there are guests at home.”

“Ah! Okay. Can’t hold you back then.”

“Let me say bye to Abhi. And take care.”

“Sure.”

More than what she had said about her parents and siblings, Puru recalled what she had said about Ritesh. ‘I didnot even step back to ask why had he fallen for me… I should have asked… Even if he did not realize, I might have realized that it was the idea of being in love that he was in love with… He was not in love with me… I should have known…’ He thanked his stars that he had not said anything about his feelings in a hurry to her. She would not believe another “I love you” from someone easily.

Malti was going through a confusing tug of war in her mind. He did not want any more responsibilities. So, obviously he would never want her. What can be a bigger responsibility than that of a child? She should be at peace after hearing that. There would be no complications between her and Puru. Plus, it wasn’t like even if he had wanted, she could have burdened his life with someone as messed up as herself. He deserved better. So, it should all feel perfect. But why was there a tinge of disappointment and even hurt somewhere inside her?

“What’s going on?” Malti entered Abhinav’s room to find him and Puru enthusiastically peering into something on Puru’s laptop.

“Mommy. We are seeing the photos of the best universities in the world,” Abhinav explained enthusiastically.

“I see.”

“And we are figuring out where Abhi would like to study when he grows up. Right Abhi?” Puru added in a similar enthusiastic tone.

“I would say it’s a bit early for that. But good… Being early won’t hurt.”

“Mommy. We have a surprise for you,” Abhinav suddenly remembered something else.

“Yeah? What is it?”

“I will get it,” he got down from the bed and rushed out. Malti looked on fondly.

“Look Malti. These places are really so gorgeous.”

“Yeah. Most universities have these beautiful old buildings.”

“Yours had one too?”

“Yep.”

“Wow!”

“You look so fascinated with them.”

“You aren’t?”

“Umm… I was… Until I went to one of them. I have never seen anyone so fascinated about universities after having been through them.”

“Well – that might be the reason?”

“Excuse me?”

“I never finished my graduation. Never went to a university.”

“What?”

Puru shrugged his shoulders with a slight smile.

“Wow! I could never have guessed that.”

“Guessed what? That I am an uneducated idiot?”

“Come on. That’s not how it is. And how does formal education matter now? You have been so successful without that.”

“It does matter Malti, I think. You wouldn’t want someone like that, someone like me to be your son’s father, would you?”

Malti smiled silently for a moment, then said, “I wish my son’s father was even a bit like you.”

“Mommyyyy…” Abhinav ran back almost shouting in excitement, “Happy Mother’s Day.” He handed her a huge box of chocolates and a card.

Malti’s eyes widened in surprise, “Oh my God! Thank you darling, thank you so much.” She hugged him tight.

“You are welcome.”

“But who told you about it?”

“Puru Uncle.”

Malti looked at him, clearly getting emotional, “Thanks! This was… very thoughtful.”

“I’m sure that when he grows up and starts understanding the world, he would be very proud of his mother,” Puru said, “I won’t need to guide him then.”

“So, I guess you could not finish your studies because you started working to support your family,” Malti asked him later, when Abhinav got busy with his cartoon shows on TV.

“Pretty much that… Followed my father’s footsteps and started with stock-broking. Then learned a lot on the field and started this company. But I have been very insecure because of that. If I hadn’t been able to build this company, where would my family be? Earning a decent livelihood would have been impossible.”

“You have built it now. They would be so proud of you. You should be too… Bill Gates is also a college drop out by the way,” Malti said light-heartedly.

That made him smile, “So, you really don’t think it matters?”

“I don’t. And I am finding it funny that you would feel bad about it at this stage. You should be flaunting it. You employ so many educated people, MBAs and all in your company now. You pay their salaries!”

They were meeting with the mayor for the land negotiation and hence Malti and her team thought that Puru’s presence in the meeting will be essential. She briefed him on the current proposals from both sides and also what they were expecting to achieve.

The mayor walked in half an hour late and on being introduced to Puru and everyone else on the team passed a snide remark, “Has it come down to this Mr. Reddy? You need to put a woman to shield you when you talk to us?”

“Excuse me?” Puru was surprised, then furious at the remark.

Mayor realized that his remark was not taken well and tried to do the damage control, “I was only joking Mr. Reddy…”

“No. You were not. And this is how the mayor of our city treats the women? Let me tell you, she is a thousand times better qualified than you and any of your political bosses.”

“Puru! Let it go,” Malti tried to control him.

“I am not negotiating with this guy,” Puru was unstoppable, “If they don’t agree to our terms, we will build our office in some other city.”

“For God’s sake Puru. Calm down,” Malti said. Others present in the meeting did not know what to do and were just staring at Puru, Mayor and Malti.

“You are over-reacting Mr. Reddy,” even Mayor got angry, “We have many takers for the land…”

“Of course. But just how much of your election fund is supported by the companies in Mumbai? And you do know the people who can affect decisions in those quarters. And yes – good luck with your career, if I go public in the media with this brilliant comment of yours. Let’s go.”

Puru walked out of the room without giving anyone else a chance to speak. Others from his company had to follow him.

“I am extremely sorry for this Mr. Mayor. We will get this sorted,” Malti tried to do some damage control before following him.

“What the hell is wrong with you Puru?” Malti was furious and shouted at him in his office, “You are not so naive. This keeps happening all the time.”

“Then it shouldn’t happen. At least it wouldn’t happen when I am there.”

“Don’t you understand, even this mistake of his was a leverage for us. Sooner or later we might have used the same threat of media that you gave him. Or the issue of election funds. But this is not how it is used. This is not how business is done. Do I have to tell you that?”

“Everything is not business.”

“Really? This is not business? What is it then? Explain please.”

“Let it be. You won’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“This is about you and this is about me. This is about the fact that I can’t and won’t let anyone insult you. Ever! So long as I am around, nobody can come in your way or harm you. And whether you like it or not, whether you accept me or not, whether you understand any of it or not, I am not going to stop being around you. Do you understand me? Even if not, it doesn’t matter.”

Malti was too stunned to react to it. She had never seen him like he had been today. First so angry, then so passionate. He wasn’t known to be a person who ever raised his voice. His ways of working may be ruthless, but he always did it while maintaining his calm and cool. With her, he had never been anything, but gentle, caring and friendly. What had made him behave like this.

And that’s when she realized the full import of what he had said. He wouldn’t let her be insulted or harmed. He wouldn’t stop being around her. One did not need to be rocket scienist to understand what he had just said.

“What did you say?”

“You heard it. And you probably don’t want to believe it or accept it.”

“You have gone crazy.”

“I feel perfect with this feeling.”

Suddenly an alarm went off in her mobile, “I have to pick Abhi up from his summer classes now. I will talk to you later,” she said.

“I will come with you.”

‘Whether you accept me or not, I am not going to stop being around you,’ she recalled. She sighed and nodded.

They picked Abhinav up and left him at home with the maid.

“You want to talk? Or you have to go back to work?” Puru asked as they drove away from her home.

“Thanks to your outburst this morning, I don’t have much work left. If you are free, let’s go to a coffee shop.”

“I am not apologizing for what I did.”

“Right.”

“No. He is not going to apologize and he has all the intentions of going to the media… Sorry… It is out of my hands… He is my client. I can advise him, not dictate… Right… Thanks….” Malti had a tough time keeping exasperation out of her voice as she answered the call from the mayor’s office. They were about to enter the coffee shop, when the call came.

“I hate you for doing this, Puru,” Malti told him in a tired voice.

“I’m sorry.”

“I thought you were not going to apologize.”

“I am not apologizing for what I said to him. But if it affects your reputation, your career, that is not what I want. I will talk to your manager myself.”

“You said it was not business. So, now I am asking not as a lawyer, but as a friend, what is wrong? What has been bothering you? He had pretty much apologized immediately. Why did you flare up after that? What do you want?”

“This is not how I had planned to explain it.”

“What had you planned?”

“I had no plans, especially after I heard about your experience with Ritesh. I know you would not be willing to trust.But you asked me what I want. Is it so difficult to guess? I want you, Malti.”

“Puru!”

They were interrupted by the waiter at that point and awkwardly placed their orders for coffee before continuing.

“That’s what it is,” Puru said, “Will I get what I want?”

“You are being ridiculous. You are making the same mistake that Ritesh did.”

“It is unfair that I should be made answerable for what Ritesh did. But why do you say that? What mistake am I making?”

“What mistake?? Puru! You have not married till date because you did not want more responsibility. And now you want me. A divorcee with an eight year old child to take care of. There can not be a responsibility bigger than a child in the world. Is it really unfair if I think you are out of your mind?”

“When you drive yourself crazy balancing between your demanding job and caring for Abhi, always ignoring your own needs, do you feel like you are taking care of an unwanted responsibility?”

“What kind of question is that?” Malti fumed, “Abhi is not unwanted, nor is he a responsibility for me. He is my life. He is…”

“Right. He is not a responsibility. He is joy, sheer joy of life. Can’t you share that joy with me?”

Malti was speechless for a moment. Then she said weakly, “You are great with kids, Puru. Get married, have your own kids. You will be happy.”

“I want only one kid. And he is already with you.”

“Your deserve better, Puru,” her voice was still weak and sad.

“Let me decide what I deserve. If you really want me to not mention it ever again, this is all you have to do. Tell me that you… you don’t like me. I am not challenging you. I really want to know. If you don’t want me in your life, you just have to say it. I will never talk of it again.”

“I don’t want to lose your friendship,” Malti got tears in her eyes as she said it. She was genuinely scared.

“You won’t lose that ever, irrespective of what you decide. If anything ever changes, it will only be to add to our friendship, not take anything away from it. Please don’t cry, Malti. Don’t work yourself up like this. You don’t have to answer now. Take your time. As much time as you want. I won’t mention it again, until you do. Is that okay?”

Malti discreetly wiped her tears and nodded.

“Let’s have coffee and then I will drop you home. Take off for the rest of the day.”

“Malti,” Puru stopped her as she was about to get out of the car in front of her home, “Just one thing. I know and completely understand that you are cautious about happiness. You fear that it will go away. And that’s natural. Give how you lost your family, and then Ritesh… I can’t say that happiness never goes away. That’s obviously not true. But I can promise this. If you can find happiness with me, then till I have alive, that happiness is not going to go away.”

Malti nodded and got out. Puru looked on until she disappeared from his sight and then drove away.

Malti asked the maid to make noddles for Abhi and went to him herself. He was doing his summer homework. He was disciplined in those respects. She never had to force him to complete his homework, even during normal school days.

“Mommy! You came back early today.”

“Yeah. I didn’t have any work.”

“Did Puru Uncle drop you? I think I heard his car.”

How perceptive he was! And especially for Puru.

“Yes, he did.”

“Why didn’t he come home?”

“He had work, darling. He will come some other time.”

“Okay. I am almost done with my homework quota for today. Can I watch TV for half an hour extra? Please!”

Malti smiled affectionately, “Okay. Finish the homework and we will watch it together.”

“Abhi,” Malti asked him during a break in the cartoon programme, “You like Puru Uncle?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“He is nice. He has promised to take me to the zoo on this weekend.”

Malti smiled and sighed. If Abhi’s welfare was her first concern in life, then Puru seemed the answer to all her prayers. And about herself, there wasn’t much to be said. Should she let go of her fears then? Should she go ahead and grab what was practically being served on a platter to her? Or should she be cautious as she naturally was and avoid trying to get so much that its loss would be devastating. What should she do?

Malti did not tell Puru the snide remarks she heard from Mayor’s office about her relationship with him, when she met them to discuss the issue again.

“They will come around I think,” she told him in his office.

“Okay. Thanks. And Malti. If it has become difficult because of what I did, feel free to drop it. It’s…”

“Let me try first. The situation is not as doomed as it might have appeared at first. Now that all the threats have been made, we might as well gain out of it.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah,” she said and fell silent.

“I should leave now. Need to finish some work at office as well,” she finally said after a few moments.

“Malti. You wanted to say something? I was waiting…”

“No… I mean yes… It’s…”

“The negotiator is tongue-tied. That’s funny,” Puru teased.

“Negotiation is easy.”

Puru turned serious, “Tell me, Malti. You don’t need to hesitate before me.”

“When did it happen? I can’t believe you ever thought about me… How? When?”

Puru sighed and smiled before replying, “You would hate me, if I told you the truth.”

“Tell me.”

“Since we worked together in Delhi.”

“What? You are joking, right?”

The extent of her surprise made Puru chuckle. But he replied sincerely, “I am not joking. I am not lying. ”

“But why? Why me?”

She needed an answer to that question. It was the root of her insecurities. Puru also knew that.

“Well… It will be difficult to give you a crisp list of reasons. But among other things the fact that you were so dependable… Nobody had ever told me earlier – ‘Let me handle it for you and relax’. One of those expressions that never go out of my mind.”

Malti just stared at him without replying. So, he spoke again, “Malti. I am too old and have seen too much of the world to be in love with the idea of being in love. And my feelings for you have remained the same, even though for most part of last five years and more, I had no hopes that I would even meet you again.”

Malti smiled as if she had finally registered what was being said.

“What is it?” Puru asked.

She downcast her eyes as she replied, “This is crazy… Unbelievably crazy… Five years ago… To think that it was the same time when I was struggling with myself. Struggling between my feelings for you and my responsibilities towards my marriage. And finally I had changed my job, just to stay away from you. Otherwise I would have done something stupid. And I stopped myself everytime I felt like dialing your number…. Then and even after I met you again. Here in Mumbai…”

She hadn’t been looking at him and did not realize when he got up from his chair and walked around the table to come near her. She suddenly felt his hands on her shoulders. She got up taking the hint.

“Did I just hear what I think I did?” he asked in a heavy, throaty voice she had never heard him talk in, but the woman in her knew just what it meant. She shivered, as his hands caressed her arms. Then he cupped her face as he said in the same voice, “Don’t be angry. I can’t help it.” He closed in on her and kissed her on her lips passionately. There was no holding back even her now. She put her hands around his neck and kissed him back as passionately. She was panting by the time they parted. But Puru was strong and in control.

“I should have known this earlier,” he said, “If I had known… Anyway. Now our fates are sealed, Malti. I am not going to let you run away from me.”

She smiled nervously and stepped back to gain control of herself. “I have to go back to the office,” she said in a meek tone that was quite uncharacteristic of her.

“I will meet you for dinner.”

She nodded and left.

Puru noticed just a hint of make-up, more than usual, on Malti’s face when she opened the door for him. He was about to complement her when Abhinav also came running.

“Puru Uncle. You must see my new paintings. My teacher said they were very good.”

“Really? I must see them then,” he shot a meaningful glance and smile at Malti who was still holding the door and went in with Abhi.

Malti left him them alone and went back into the kitchen, where she was before he had come. She was cooking a full meal.

“My negotiator-lawyer had a change of profession, I see,” she was startled by his voice.

“You scared me!”

“What charming welcome!”

“Huh?”

“Those are the first words you have said to me this evening since I arrived. No hi, no hello, no welcome kiss…”

“You have fared no better Mr. Reddy. Your first words were something about my profession. What did it mean, anyway?”

“You are on your way to become a full time chef, it seems.”

“Dream on! Enjoy your luck for one evening.”

Puru had come close to her by then and planted a quick, soft kiss on her head from behind, “That I will do. And not just for this evening, but for all my life now.”

“Where is Abhi?”

“Yeah. I had come to ask you if you had already fed him.”

“I had. Why?”

“Because he has fallen asleep.”

“He has?” Malti turned and looked at him surprised, “How come? He doesn’t sleep until I read to him.”

“You are forgetting the night he spent with me camping. Anyway, I discoverd this trick by mistake. I offered to read to him and before I realized, he was asleep.”

“Wow! Looks like if he has you, he won’t need me at all.”

“What rubbish! What makes you think so?” Puru said seriously.

“I was joking, Puru.”

“Tell me honestly, though. Do you feel comfortable with me being around him? Do you feel he is safe?”

“Of course, I do. If I didn’t, I’d never have gone so far. And… not only do I feel comfortable when you are with him, I feel happy. He needs a father figure…”

“A father… He needs a father and I will try my best. I will try to be as good as his Mommy is.”

Malti’s eyes became moist.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. I am… just happy. So happy that…” she hesitated in completing what she was saying.

“So happy that you are scared?”

She nodded a yes.

“The fear, I promise, will go away,” he said as they gently hugged.

“The food was delicious and you cooked so much.”

“It has been ages since I cooked a full meal. Otherwise, I generally just cook whatever Abhi wants and then stuff myself with leftovers and something quick.”

“Well. That will change too.”

“Too many changes.”

“For good.”

“Yeah,” she smiled, “By the way, did you hear anything from Preethi?”

“Oh yes! She is coming here next month. Earlier she wasn’t willing to come before winters, but suddenly she decided she wants to. And I was really happy about that. We can talk face to face. I don’t know what she is up to.”

“That’s great.”

They were done with clearing the table by then.

“Malti.”

“Hmm?”

“Will you talk to her when she is here? I am worried about her, but I don’t know if I will be able to get her to talk. I have been a strict guardian and somewhere…”

“I will talk. Don’t worry.”

“Thanks.”

“But there was someone else I was thinking about…”

“Yeah? I wish you would concentrate on me now. You have evaded me for so long,” he teased her.

“Shut up. I was talking about your mother,” Malti sat down on the sofa and Puru also sat down next to her. This gesture of familiarity made Malti smile inwardly.

“What about my mother?” Puru asked carelessly as he put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him.

“How would she react? To me?”

“I don’t know,” Puru replied non-chalantly as he laced the fingers of his other hand with hers.

“I am serious Puru,” Malti got anxious.

“Okay. Then listen to me carefully,” he finally spoke seriously to Malti’s relief, “My best guess is that she won’t be elated. In the worst case, she would throw tantrums. But in any case, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“How can I not worry about it? Of course, I have to…”

“No,” he was firm, “I have done my duty towards my family Malti. As best as I could. They didn’t have to suffer after my father’s death. Not for long, anyway. And I will continue to do that in future. There is a part of me that will always work for the well-being of Amma and Preethi. But you Malti… You are that part of my life that is only mine. Nobody else will have any say in it. And if anybody tries to, fighting them off is my responsibility. I promise that you and Abhi will never have to worry about anyone else. I don’t want you to. I need you to be on my side.”

Malti was looking at him with expressions that could only be called fascination.

“What is it?” he asked.

She nodded her head with a smile, “After what happened today, where else can I be, but by your side, Puru? And although we may have to discuss the nitti-gritties…” she paused here and laughed slightly at the formality of her expression, before continuing, “But what is it that I am seeing in you since yesterday? What has come upon you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I have never seen you so… worked up… The way you reacted at mayor’s office. And then again now… You don’t lose your cool like that normally, do you? If a third person heard you, they would almost think that some danger is looming over me that you are trying to protect me from.”

“Like it or not, but you do that to me… It’s just a coincidence that it never got expressed earlier. But… do I annoy or scare you?”

“It affecting work did annoy me yesterday. But not otherwise. It’s actually quite s…” Malti paused. The word she had in mind was ‘sexy’, but she felt too shy and hesitant to say it. They still had a long way to go and they were not so intimate yet. She searched for a substitute in her mind and the best she could come up with was “… different and interesting”.

But it seemed Puru had guessed her original thought. He looked at her with such desire, passion and longing that for a moment she thought he will drag her to the bed right away. But she saw him taking a deep breath. Then he leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I will leave now. I don’t want to, but…”

“Then stay,” Malti said without thinking.

“We need to give Abhi time to adjust to us.”

She nodded, not wanting to appear as desperate as she felt. Already the invitation to stay sounded too forward. She walked with him to the door. She said before he stepped out, “Abhi adores you.” If she had any doubts about that, she woudld never have considered how much she needed and wanted Puru..

“I know. But there is a journey to be made – from uncle to father.”

“Yeah. Good night, Puru.”

“Good night, Malti.”

“Puru!”

“Yeah?”

“Have you told them? About… us?” Preethi had come home and Puru thought it was the best time for Malti to meet his family.

“Why are you so nervous, Malti?”

“Just tell me… Please.”

“I haven’t. But I will. Before you come.”

“So, you will drop the bomb just before I come?”

“Malti! All right.I will tell them as soon as I go home. But please. Stop being so nervous. If you worry like that, I will cancel the entire plan.”

“Come on Puru. Who is the one really getting worked up here? My nevousness is natural.”

“Then the natural solution would be to not have you meet them.”

“Come on.”

“I am quite serious.”

“I see. How would you marry me, then? Or do you…”

“I will live in sin and if you don’t want that, better relax. You are not going to give a test or anything.”

“Okay. There is no point arguing with you my dear knight in shining armour,” Malti said playfully, “Go now and please do tell them before I come.”

“I will. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Malti had to make a little shopping trip. Since separating from Ritesh, he collection of Indian outfits had dwindled slowly. She mostly wore western formals to work and jeans or long skirts otherwise. Trying to discuss with Puru a suitable outfit for meeting his mother would have been futile. So, she had to figure that out herself. She bought a simple, but elegant cotton salwar-kameez in subdued gray and white.

Puru met her at the gate itself. It was half past six. It was decided that she should come a bit early so that they had time to mingle and talk before the dinner.

“You were waiting for me here?” Malti was pleasntly surprised to see him waiting.

“I knew that irrespective of what I told you, you would be nervous and I didn’t want you returning from the gate… Where is Abhi? Has he fallen ill? Why didn’t you call me? And…”

“Calm down. He is fine. The maid is staying with him.”

“Why didn’t you bring him? I… I probably didn’t say it explicitly, but wasn’t it a given…”

“I know. It’s not about you asking. It’s just that… I didn’t know how he would… I mean he might not be comfortable in a new setting, with new people. I thought it was the first time…”

Puru’s eyes pierced through her. He knew and she knew that he knew. She was nervous about meeting her future mother-in-law with an eight year old child.

“What the…” Puru felt angry, but controlled himself. “Come in,” he said as he gave Malti’s key to the security person to park her car. Puru’s stiffness was obvious and Malti felt helpless. She felt like she had let him and Abhi down. She looked at him hoping to say something, but he was looking straight ahead as they walked towards the main house.

Before she knew it they were in the hall, and Puru’s mother and sister were there. Puru introduced them and they greeted each other.

“I hope you didn’t have problems in reaching here. Puru should have picked you up,” Amma said.

“Oh no! He had work to do. He couldn’t have chauffered me around. It was very easy to reach.” Inwardly Malti was amused at the idea that Puru should have picked her up because she might have had trouble finding the place.

They started talking about her job, Preethi’s studies and other general things, while one of the maids served coffee and snacks.

“Coffee is nice,” Malti said genuinely.

“It’s filter coffee. You don’t generally get it here.”

“Right. In fact, I have only heard about filter coffee in the ads for instant coffee,” Malti said and her little joke made everyone chuckle.

Just as Malti thought the atmosphere was becoming relaxed, Puru surprised her, “Malti. Abhi would be done with his friend’s party, right? I will go and pick up him up.”

Malti stared at him and then realized what he was trying to do.

Malti stuttered a bit while replying, “I… I don’t know… And the maid is… there for him…”

“But it’s quite late for kids’ party. I am going,” he said and left Malti flustered. She didn’t know what to say and she also saw Amma stiffening at the mention of Abhi.

Preethi broke the awkward silence as she asked, “Till he comes back, we can enjoy by ourselves. Do you play cards?”

“Yes. Of course,” Malti was not particualarly fond of cards, but at that moment she would have welcomed any distraction.

“Amma, would you join?” Preethi asked her mother.

“No, You two play. I will check on the dinner in the kitchen.”

“We can help you,” Malti offered.

“No. Don’t worry. The cook is there. I will just oversee it. Anyway, it is Andhra food. You would not know how to cook that.”

“No,” Malti smiled in embarrassment.

“I thought so. But you do eat it, right? Puru told me…”

“Yes. I am quite fond of South Indian food actually…”

“Andhra food is spicy. Is that fine with you? Or should I ask the cook to keep it less spicy.”

“No spicy is perfectly fine,” Malti said wanting to fit in, but she wondered how would she feed Abhi. He couldn’t eat spicy food at all. She prayed that the maid had fed him before Puru reached to pick him up.

“Mommyyy,” Abhi ran excitedly to Malti, the chocolate Puru had bought for him still in his hands, only half-eaten, “Why didn’t you tell me Puru Uncle was going to suprise me?”

“If I had told you, it won’t have remained a surprise, right?” Malti smiled at him carrying on Puru’s harmless lie to the kid.

“True.”

“And now Abhi is going to guess who is Naanamma here and who is Preethi Auntie,” Puru said playfully. Malti found Amma and Preethi looking at Puru in surprise. She guessed that they had probably never seen him with a kid.

“This is easy to guess. She is Preethi Auntie and she is Naanamma,” Abhi pointed towards Preethi and Amma respectively.

“And what exactly is Naanamma?” Malti asked.

“It means Grand Mother,” Abhi explained eagerly.

“In Telugu,” Puru added and sat down beside Malti on the sofa, with Abhi on his lap.

“Such a sweet kid,” Preethi said, “Come to me.”

“Go and say hello, Abhi,” Puru told him.

Abhi went to Preethi without hesitation.

“So, what’s your name, darling?” Preethi asked him to start the conversation.

“Why are you asking me? Puru Uncle called me by my name so many times,” Abhi replied making everyone laugh. Malti couldn’t help, but notice that Amma had only forced a smile on her face. She wasn’t really happy.

“Right,” Preethi said continuing to maintain a facade of seriousness, “What to do. I am not as intelligent as you are. But I really like the chocoate you are eating. Can I have a piece?”

“Are you my friend?”

“Of course, I am.”

“Then you can have it,” Abhi replied once again making everyone laugh.

“Had he eaten something before leaving?” Malti asked Puru in a low voice, while Preethi played with Abhi and Amma went to check on the dinner.

“No. I asked the maid to not feed him. He had some snacks on the way. He will eat with us.”

Malti just nodded, not saying anything, hoping that she would find something that Abhi will be able to eat.

They all moved to the dining table to have dinner.

“What is there for Abhi?” Puru asked casually.

“Doesn’t he eat regular food?” Amma replied, “He is old enough.”

“But this is too spicy Amma,” Puru said.

“I… I didn’t realize… May be he can have curd rice.”

Malti fidgeted. She was sure Abhi would not have curd rice, but she wasn’t comfortable with how Abhi’s food was becoming an issue.

“Amma… He hasn’t grown up in a Telugu household. How could you…” Puru’s anger was taking the same intensity that Malti often saw in him when it concerned her and Abhi.

“Puru! Puru, please,” she intervened, “It’s not a big deal. He loves noodles. There would be some noodles in the kitchen, right?”

“Yes, yes, there is,” Preethi said. She was the one who had asked the cook to get noodles, as she liked them.

Malti sighed in relief, “That would work very well.”

“I will ask the cook…” Preethi started to get up.

“No Preethi. Amma, if you don’t mind, I will make the noodles myself. Need to make it watery and less spicy for him,” Malti asked.

Amma looked at Puru and then nodded to Malti, “Sure.”

“I will show you the ktichen,” Puru said and got up wanting to get some time with her alone.

“I am sorry,” both of them said as soon as they were alone on their way to the kitchen. Puru smiled wryly, “Later I guess. Let’s cook the noodles first.”

“You should go back. I will cook it and get it. It’s better if one of us stays with Abhi.”

“Okay. Here is the kitchen. Ask the cook for anything you need.”

“I will. Thanks.”

“It’s late Malti. I would drop you home. I will send your car with the driver tomorrow morning,” Puru said after the dinner was over. It wasn’t really needed. But Malti realized that it was an alibi because he wanted to talk to her. So, she nodded. Their drive was mostly spent in listening to Abhi’s constant, excited chatter. But he was tired and slept off soon after they came back.

“Sorry about the dinner fiasco. I didn’t realize…” Puru said after Abhi was asleep.

“Oh! Don’t even bother about it. It was nothing.”

“What is it, Malti?” Puru guessed she was struggling with something by looking at her anxious face and downcast eyes.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Puru, by not bringing Abhi with me. In my moment of nervousness, I let you and Abhi – both down…”

“I am not hurt Malti. Why do you say that?”

“You were angry. I could sense that.”

“Not at you.”

“Then?”

“I don’t know. Probably at myself.”

“Why?”

“Tell me something honestly, Malti. If it was any other social occasion, would you have left Abhi behind?”

“No,” Malti replied after a pause knowing where this was going.

“Weren’t you feeling guilty about leaving him behind?”

She choked and couldn’t speak out her reply. She just nodded her head to say yes.

“That is what I did not like. I know what Abhi is to you Malti. And you have always been a great mother, despite being alone. I would hate myself, if I ever came in the way of your relationship with Abhi or your duties towards him.”

Tears started flowing out of Malti’s eyes by then. Puru moved forward and said while wiping her tears, “And this is for purely selfish reasons Malti. Firstly I know very well that I can not have you, if you ever felt like you were losing Abhi. I won’t delude myself on that count. He has come in your life before me. Second, I know how a child feels if his parents are not able to do their duties towards him. That is not a pain I would ever want him to suffer.”

Malti broke down completely at that. She hugged him tight and sobbed uncontrollably. He gently patted her head, until she calmed down.

“Why this conflict, Malti? You know that I love him. Probably I can’t do it as much as you do. But…”

“I know. It’s not about you. I just… I am sorry. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

“Shall I leave now? Will you be okay?”

“Yes. Don’t worry about me.”

“You are meeting Preethi for lunch on Saturday?”

“Yeah. Will you take Abhi with you somewhere? I would like to spend some time with her.”

“Sure.”

“And Puru…”

“What happened?”

“Don’t try to coach her too much on what she should or should not say to me. Let it be natrual.”

Puru looked surprised, “How did you know…”

“It was obvious, Puru. Whenever you were around, Amma and Preethi both seemed to look at you for approval everytime they said or did something.” Malti paused and spoke again when Puru did not say anything, “I know that you just wanted to protect me, to make sure that they didn’t inadvertently hurt me. But you can’t compartmentalize your life like that. You can’t have them in a separate compartment and me and Abhi in a separate one. It won’t work that way. I know Amma won’t accept us quickly. Probably she never will. But we have to live with that. If you try to stand like wall between us, she would always have a grudge against me. Let’s not do that. Let’s not give her more reasons to hate me than she already has.”

“Nobody hates you.” Puru had a despearation in his voice.

“No. She doesn’t hate me. She hates the woman who has bewitched her son despite being a divorcee and forced the responsibility of her child on him,” Malti laughed to assure him that this point of view did not affect her.

“Bewitch me? Yes – that you have done!” Puru also smiled.

“And I don’t claim Puru that I will, somehow, be able to win her heart. It’s unlikely. I am unlikely to be the ideal daughter-in-law she had in mind. So – yes. I need you to be by my side, to protect me. But not necessarily by antagonizing her even before she has said or done anything wrong.”

“Fine. I will do whatever you want. But I will never stand on the sides, if someone insults you or harms you. Even if the person is my own mother.”

“I know. But don’t punish anyone for the crime they have not committed.”

“Yes. Your Honour!” Puru smiled.

“Where is Abhi?” Preethi asked when she came to Malti’s home for lunch on the Saturday.

“He is out with Puru.”

“He is quite comfortable with Anna, isn’t he?”

“Oh yes. Puru is a natural with kids.”

“I hadn’t imagined that about him.”

“Really? But you are much younger, aren’t you? I thought he was a like a guardian to you.”

“Yes. A serious, if not tough, kind of guardian.”

“He really cares for you.”

“He does.”

“He has been really worried about you recently.”

Preethi looked anxious, “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, Preethi. And I am your friend.”

“He told you?”

“He needed help.”

“Why from you?”

“Because he thought, and rightly so, that sometimes a woman understands another woman better.”

Preethi sighed.

Malti spoke again, “Preethi. You can trust me.”

Preethi gave a half smile, “Trust you? To not tell Anna what I confide in you?”

“Trust me to do what is best for you. Why would you want to hide something from him?”

“May be because I have done something horrible?”

“Made a mistake, you mean? We all make mistakes.”

“But not everyone can forgive every mistake.”

“If you are in any legal trouble, you have a lawyer sitting before you to help you. If not, then there is no reason why you can’t move on from a mistake. But if you share with right people, it will help you get over it and not make the same mistake again. Tell me Preethi, what’s up with Dave?”

“How do you know his name?” Preethi was taken aback, “I never told Anna…”

“I was there when he was talking to you. After getting your e-mail… You said something like you would talk to Dave and get back…”

“Oh!”

“So, what happened?”

“He didn’t want to get married.”

“After Puru had agreed?”

“It’s complicated, Malti.”

“Your brother and I, both have seen our share of complications in life. Speak it out.”

“I was alone. I didn’t know what to do… I did something horrible…” Preethi started breaking down. The mask of arrogant teenager started coming off and Malti saw a scared child there. She reminded him of how Abhi used to get scared of the lizards, when he was younger.

“You are not alone, now,” Malti pressed Preethi’s hands.

“Don’t tell Anna please,” Preethi’s eyes became moist.

“If I tell him, consequences are for me to bear. Not you – I promise.”

“I was pregnant,” Preethi said in a trembling voice. Malti had not imagined that. She was so shocked that she was about to withdraw her hands back from Preethi’s. But she controlled herself in time. Reacting like that will do no good to Preethi’s already down morales.

“Are you still…”

“No. I had an abortion. And I don’t know what was more horrible. Getting pregnant or having an abortion.”

“You wanted to get married because you were pregnant?”

Preethi nodded.

“But if Dave wasn’t agreeing anyway…”

“He had challenged me that if could get my family to agree, he would marry me.”

“And he thought they would never agree.”

Preethi nodded.

“I am sorry Preethi,” Malti said after a pause trying to collect her thoughts as best as she could, “I… I did not think you could be in such trouble. I thought it was just… some teenage tantrum of yours. I should have adviced him to talk to you seriously… I just…”

“Why are you blaming yourself? You didn’t think that I could be so stupid… Why should anyone think so?”

“Preethi. It’s over now. But the first thing I need to know is whether you are okay? I mean physically. Where did you get your… abortion done? Have you seen a doctor since?”

Preethi nodded in negative.

“We must see a doctor…”

“No! I can’t have Anna or Amma knowing.”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

“They will not talk to me again.”

“Preethi! Listen to me. They will do no such thing. I take Puru’s responsibility. And if he doesn’t think we should tell Amma, we won’t tell him.”

“How can you be so sure about Anna?” Preethi was crying.

Malti walked to her and gave a side hug, “I have some influence over him. Trust me.” Preethi looked at her and nodded. She had realized this much that her brother was madly in love with this woman; so her confidence might not be misplaced.

“Come now. Let’s eat something.”

“I should leave now,” Preethi said after they were done eating.

“Puru would be here soon. You can leave with him. I am not sure you should go alone.”

“I am fine. I… am not sure… I can face him right now.”

“Fine. Whatever is comfortable for you. I will find out about a good doctor and take you there as soon as I get an appointment.”

Preethi nodded.

After she left, Malti got time to think over the entire thing again. She realized that she shared Preethi’s dilemma. What was worse? That Preethi got pregnant at such a tender age? Or that a baby was aborted? The idea of abortion sent a chill down her spine. She thought of Abhi and felt a desperate need to see and hold him. As if God answered her prayers, she heard Abhi’s voice on the stairs. She rushed out and ran into Abhi and Puru as soon as she opened the door. She kneeled and hugged Abhi tight surprising Puru. Abhi did not find anything amiss and started talking about what all he did with Puru Uncle while still in her embrace. Puru, however, noticed that something was not quite right with Malti. Her eyes were almost moist.

“He is all right, Malti,” he said softly.

“Yeah,” Malti felt embarrassed and let him go, “So, you bought balloons again Abhi? Puru Uncle is spoiling you.”

“Tell Mommy that only one week of summer vacation is left for you and after that there won’t be much time to get spoiled,” Puru replied instead of Abhi.

“Do you want to eat something Abhi?”

“No. I had samosas a while back. Puru Uncle. Give me the DVDs. I want to watch Tom & Jerry.”

“You bought DVDs also? There are already so many…”

“It’s all right Malti.”

Abhi started watching cartoon. Malti told him to call her if he needed something and went to her room with Puru.

“You are okay?” Puru asked.

“Yeah.”

“How did the lunch go?”

“Puru. If I asked you to trust my judgement on something, go by my decision on it, would you do that?”

“What has happened?”

“Answer me first.”

“I don’t need to answer that Malti. Even if I don’t agree to it, if you asked me to do something, I will do it.”

“And I won’t ask you to do something, if I didn’t think it was right.”

“What’s up with Preethi? It’s about her, isn’t it?”

“Yes. She has made some mistakes Puru.”

“What has she done? Is she already married or something?”

“No. No. That guy gave up on the marriage.”

“Thank God. Then what was going on in the first place.”

Malti sighed and decided to speak it out in one go, “Preethi had gotten pregnant. But she has had an abortion since.”

Puru looked shocked. And then grew bitter, “Wow! And here I was wondering whether my kid sister even knew the meaning of marriage, while insisting on it.”

“Puru. She acted immature, but she is not a child.”

“Of course, not,” he started to move away from her in irritation.

“Puru, please talk to me,” Malti held his hand. He stopped but did not look at her. She moved closer and faced him, “Please.”

“I did it all wrong, didn’t I, Malti? I should have listened to Amma and never let her go to the US. I failed miserably as her guardian.”

“No. She is young enough to need your support in tough times, Puru. But she is old enough to be responsible for her actions. Don’t blame yourself.”

“The world, my life often doesn’t make sense to me.”

Malti felt his pain, frustration and loneliness. He didn’t express it in so many words very often. She left his hand and put her arms around his neck. Then she tiptoed and gave a light, quick peck on his lips. “What about me?” she asked in a whisper.

“You are my only relief,” he embraced her.

“Then let me take care of what doesn’t make sense to you.”

“I need you Malti. I… want you,” he broke the embrace and looked directly into her eyes.

“You have me.”

“Now?”

“Whenever you want.”

“Now!” he finalized, bent down and kissed her passionately. Her response to his kiss was more than encouraging. He took her to the bed and pinned her down under him. He teased and kissed her all over making both of them ecstatic. Suddenly, he realized something. “I don’t have protection,” his voise was hoarse with desire. But he still did not want to regret it later. Malti stretched out her hand and opened the drawer of the side stool. A new packet was lying there. She had been expecthing this! And was prepared. The realization drove him completely crazy. He grabbed the packet, hastily took out and put up the protection and literally pounced on her. She was equally drowned in the desire and enjoyed his passionate and rough love-making. They had felt the sexual tension for quite sometime now and it wasn’t a surprise that they were quickly driven to the climax. But that didn’t mean it hadn’t been pleasant and gratifying. It had been exceedingly so. Malti curled up under the covers and Puru also curled up behind her, putting his arms around her waist. After lying like that for a couple of minutes, he kissed her on the shoulder and said, “I will be back in a minute.” He went to the bathroom. She closed her eyes and did not realize that he was back until he kissed her closed eyelids. She opened her eyes and saw the he was ready for another round of love-making. She didn’t mind! He threw the cover off her and slowly got rid of the clothes that were still on her body because their need earlier had been too urgent to take all of them off. The process was slow this time as they explored each other’s bodies.

“You are addictive and I am addicted now,” Puru whispered in her ear when they were lying on the bed completely spent.

“Do we need to cure the addiction, then?” she teased him.

“There is no cure, your honour. The only humane treatment for this addict is to keep giving him his dosage.”

“That’s a very biased trial.”

“Love is blind. Like justice!” he replied and silenced her protests by his kiss.

“Whatever happened to Abhi?” Malti suddenly wondered and sat up.

“Let’s check on him.”

They got dressed and came out to see that Abhi had fallen asleep on the sofa and the DVD was still running. They smiled at each other. Malti moved forward to pick him up, but Puru stopped her and did that himself. They settled Abhi on his bed for his nap.

“Mommy. Why didn’t you pick me up from school?” Abhi complained as soon as Malti entered home after work.

“Puru Uncle picked you up, right? What’s the problem?” Puru often used to pick Abhi up these days.

“Earlier you used to pick me up all the time.”

“Earlier he was not there, Abhi. But why are you so angry? You like being with him, don’t you?”

“No.”

“Why? Did he not give you chocolates today?” Malti asked smiling. She had been telling Puru to not give into every demand by Abhi. That would spoil him. She thought he might have tried doing that.

“I did not ask him for chocolates.”

“Did he scold you?”

“No!” Abhi replied sharply and went away from her looking frustrated. Malti was confused. What had come upon Abhi? Puru was to come soon as they had decided to go out for dinner. Why was Abhi acting up all of sudden?

Malti decided to talk to him after freshening up, but could not do that as Puru had arrived by then.

“Abhi. Here is your chocolate. That’s what you were angry at me about, right?” Puru said as soon as he came in.

“He has been acting up since then?” Malti asked.

“What happened? Is he still in a bad mood.”

“I don’t know what has come upon him? And why isn’t he coming out? He used to run outside just on hearing your foot-steps.”

“Let me see,” Puru went to Abhi’s room and they came out together. Abhi was holding the chocolate Puru had brought, but was still looking listless.

“Come. Let’s get you ready,” Malti said, “We are going out.”

“Mommy. You sit with me on the back seat,” Abhi demanded when they were leaving for the restraurant.

“Puru Uncle can not drive sitting alone in the front Abhi.”

“I can’t sit alone at the back.”

“Okay. You sit in front. I will take the back seat.”

“Nooo” Abhi cried, “I want to sit with you.” He was usually not a stubborn kid. Malti and Puru were surprised.

“Abhi. These are bad manners,” Malti chided him.

“I have a solution,” Puru said, “Mommy will drive and Abhi will sit with her in the front. All right, Abhi?”

But Abhi seemed hell bent upon making trouble, “Mommy will drive our car, not yours.”

“Abhi,” Malti lost her patience, “What has come upon you? Why are you behaving like this.”

“Malti. Calm down,” Puru said, “Let’s just do what he says. He is in a bad mood today.”

Malti nodded. She brought out her car and they left. Abhi continued with his tantrums even in the restaurant. He wanted Malti’s attention all the time. He won’t eat unless she fed him. He won’t go to the restroom with Puru.

The worst came when they came back home and Abhi insisted on sleeping with her. Malti had no option but to let him sleep in her room.

“Did he use to sleep with you earlier?” Puru asked after Abhi was asleep.

“No. He has been sleeping in his own room snice he was four. I have tried hard that he should not become clingy because of my loneliness. And now…” she looked tired, “I’m sorry Puru. His behaviour towards you was…”

“Hey. Come on. Let’s not go down that path, okay? He is our responsibility, not just yours.”

Malti nodded.

“It was just a bad day,” Puru spoke again, “I’m sure he will be all right by tomorrow.”

“Hope so.”

“You look tired, Malti. Go to sleep. I will leave now.”

But Abhi’s behaviour did not improve in the days to come. He had become hostile to Puru and even otherwise was extremely clingy towards Malti.

It was a saturday and Puru was at Malti’s place, when Abhi started throwing tantrums once again. Finally Puru’s patience was also exhausted.

“Let me talk to him, Malti. Something is going on in his mind.”

“But he doesn’t talk!”

“Let me try. Come with me, Abhi.”

“I don’t want to go with you,” Abhi reblled.

“Don’t make me force you,” it was the first time Puru was sterm with him and the child cowered. He went to his room with him.

“Do you love your Mommy, Abhi?” Puru asked him.

He nodded.

“When you love someone, you do not hurt them. Right? But you have been creating lots of trouble for her recently. Why?”

“She does not love me now.”

“Why do you say so?”

“She will marry you and send me to the boarding.”

Puru got the shock of his life. Where did that come from?

“Who told you that?”

“That is what happened to Paresh. His father married and sent him to boarding.”

“Paresh was in your class?”

“Yes. He did not join after summer vacation. He was sent away.”

“Nobody is sending you to boarding, Abhi. Do you understand that?”

“You will not marry Mommy, then?”

“Me marrying your Mommy does not mean that we will send you to boarding, Abhi. Not everyone’s parents are like Paresh’. We both love you so much. We will never let you go away from us. Never!”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Let’s go and talk to your Mommy. She has been so worried about you. And say sorry, okay?”

Abhi nodded in consent.

They found Malti pacing up and down in the living room, when they came out. She looked at them anxiously.

“Give her a hug,” Puru nudged Abhi. Abhi ran towards her with open arms and Malti picked him up, while embracing him tight.

“I am sorry Mommy. I was being a bad boy.”

“No problem, darling. But why were you so upset with Mommy?”

“Because he thought that you and I will get married and send him away to boarding,” Puru replied.

“What?” Malti was shocked, “Who told you that? I will never, ever send you away. Do you understand?” Malti hugged him again.

“You will suffocate him Malti,” Puru said playfully, “Let go. He understands. Don’t you Abhi?”

Abhi nodded.

“Who told you that we were marrying, Abhi?” Malti asked, once she had calmed down. They hadn’t yet discussed this with him.

“Nitesh. He is Paresh’ cousin.”

“Who was sent to the boarding?” Puru asked.

“Yes.”

“How did he know?”

“When I told him about Puru Uncle and how he came to our house almost daily, he said that means you were marrying.”

Malti and Puru could not suppress a smile. Kids!!

“Okay Abhi. We will marry. But we will never send you away. Do you understand?” Malti said.

“Yes Mommy. And Mommy…”

“Yes darling?”

“If you marry Puru Uncle, will he become my Daddy?”

Malti looked at Puru and blushed. Then she turned to Abhi, “Wouldn’t you like that Abhi? He is already like your Daddy.”

“He picks me up from school.”

“And takes you camping, for outings…”

“Yes.”

“So, are you happy now?”

“Yes Mommy.”

“Kids! They are unbelievable,” Malti said when they were alone and Abhi was busy with his toys.

“Why?”

“Why? How quickly did they figure out our relationship. Even adults won’t be so quick.”

“Well, yeah. They understand more than we expect them to.”

“Puru.”

“Hmm?”

“Me and Abhi are really lucky… To have you…”

“Not more than me,” he replied, put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, “I have both of you.” He bent down to kiss her.

“Abhi is awake,” Malti stepped back and warned him.

“He will be busy for hours with his building blocks. You know his latest fascination,” Puru went ahead and bolted the room’s door.

“Well…”

“And now that he knows I am his Daddy, I must do my duty towards his Mommy,” he had Malti in his arms again.

“You are wicked.”

“You bet,” he said as he led her to the bed.

– The End –

Right and Wrong

Posted 13 CommentsPosted in English, Mathew-Protima, Original

“Mamma…. Mamma…” Thirteen year old Netra came home running. Protima was working from home that day as she was feeling feverish.

“What’s up girl?” Protima replied from her desk, “What has been so exciting in the school? In our days we used to be so bored.”

“Did you know that the blood-group of a child can be predicted by the blood-group of parents,” Netra dropped the school bag on her bed and came running to her.

“So?”

“So – we were playing this game of predicting our own blood groups from our parents’ and I realized that I don’t know either yours or Daddy’s blood group. I want to know.”

Protima’s face turned pale on hearing this and she stared at her daughter.

“What happened Mamma?”

“Netra, get your food from the fridge and finish it. I will be with you in a minute…”

“But I just wanted to…”

“I have to talk to you. Let me just finish this e-mail, please.”

“Okay!” Netra was annoyed, but she obeyed her mother.

Protima took couple of deep breaths to calm her nerves down after Netra left. The day had come! She will have to tell her the truth.

Netra was just finishing eating, when Protima came and sat beside her on the dining table.

“What’s up Mamma? Is everything all right?”

“Yes. Of course,” Protima tried to smile, “Are you done eating?”

“Yes.”

“Netra. You know that I love you. More than anything else in the world, more than my life.”

“Why are you talking like that Mamma?” Netra could sense her anxiety.

“Because it should not matter to you that you will not be able to predict your blood group with mine or your Daddy’s.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are adopted, Netra.”

Protima paused. It was Netra’s turn to go pale.

“You… you are joking, right?” she asked.

“No. I won’t joke about something like that. But it really doesn’t matter, darling.”

Netra got up, went to her room and locked it behind her. Protima looked on helplessly. “You would have handled it better Mathew,” she murmured, “How would you have done it?”

She waited for ten minutes for Netra to come out. Then went to her room and knocked on the door.

“Netra. Baby, please. You are scaring me. Please open the door.”

Netra opened it and Protima followed her into the room.

“What are you thinking? Talk to me. Please, Netra.”

She remained silent.

“Have you ever felt like you didn’t have a mother?”

“No Mamma. It’s not that. Just… I’m so confused and angry. And I know it’s not fair to be angry on you. Why was I adopted? Who are my real parents?”

“You mean your biological parents. We are your real parents. I don’t know who or where they are. You were not with them when I brought you.”

“So, there is no Daddy really, right? You had made up a story.”

“No. That’s not true.”

“How come he has never come to see me or you in all these thirteen years? I never asked you Mamma, but the question has been bugging me for quite some time now.”

“You want to know?”

“Of course, I want to know. I am feeling so lost right now.”

“Let me tell you a story…”

“Not a story Mamma.”

“It’s a real one.”

“Okay.”

“The admission letter has come. You have to go to the boarding in Mussoorie. You leave in a week’s time.” Seventeen year old Protima was informed by her Maasi.

“And he doesn’t think he needs to talk to me about it, right?” she had replied defiantly.

“It is your own doing Protima. You have gone beyond control. It took you two years to pass class tenth. Then again you were thrown out of the school for God-forbid-what reasons. And I can’t be here all my life trying to stop you from wayward ways.”

“Of course not. You have to go back, get married and then make babies. A few more morons like me, right?”

“Mind your language, girl! No wonder your father was left with no option.”

“He is too busy mourning his drunkard wife to mind me or my business.”

“I don’t want to talk to you. One more week and then I am done. You don’t have respect for your dead mother or your own father. Why should I expect to get any decent treatment from you?”

“You are right. You are wasting my and your own time.”

“Pratima Ganguli, eh?” some older students came to her in the boarding school as she was arranging her stuff on the table.

“It’s Protima. Protima Ganguli.”

“So touchy!! And if we refused to call you that.”

“Then as far as I am concerned, you are not talking to me.”

“Really Pratima?” one of them picked up a paper-weight from her table and started playing with it.

“Give it back,” Protima shouted.

“And if I don’t,” she smiled coquettishly.

Protima went forward and slapped the girl startling them all. While they were still staring at her in astonishment, she grabbed the paper-weight back and kept it on the table.

“Mind your own business,” she barked at them.

“You will pay for this,” another girl in the group said and they went back.

“Are you Pratima Ganguli?” a girl came into the room and asked.

“Protima Ganguli.”

“Whatever. The warden is calling you.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know. Go and find out. You must have broken some rule.”

“Rules – my foot,” Protima murmured and got up to go to the warden’s office.

“Pratima, what is that I am hearing…” the warden started to speak.

“I thought this was a place for educated people. Why can’t a single person pronounce my name correctly?”

“Excuse me?”

“My name is Protima, not Pratima!”

“All right,” the warden sighed, “Protima. Did you slap a girl today?”

“Yes.”

“You know that was wrong?”

“No. It wasn’t.”

“Really? Why not?”

“They were threatening me. Defending myself was not wrong.”

“If someone troubles you, you should come to me. You can’t go about picking up physical fights like that.”

“It is your duty to ensure that nobody troubles me. What good will you do by coming in, when they have already troubled me? Now, if you would please excuse me. I am tired from my journey.”

“Listen to me. Pratima… Protima…”

But Protima had left leaving a baffled and angry warden behind.

She was indeed tired and slept off for few hours. When she woke up the other two beds were also occupied.

“Hi,” one of the girls greeted her, “You are the new girl, I presume. The one who slapped Sugandha?”

“Am I famous for that?”

“Like hell you are girl. Your name is…”

“Protima Ganguli and for God’s sake, do not call me Pratima.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“What’s your name?”

“Tara Mehra.”

“If I called you Tora, would it be the same thing?”

“Oh my God, you are so funny,” Tara laughed out loud, “But point taken. I won’t call you Pratima. You are Protima. And this is Mary Joseph,” she pointed to the third girl in the room.

“Hi Pra… Protima.”

“Hi Mary.”

“You must be in class 11th?”

“Yes.”

“Which section?”

“B.”

“Cool. Then we can go to the classes together.”

“Protima. Get up. You will get late for the morning exercise. Protima…” Tara shook her.

“What the fu… What are you doing? What time is it?”

“5.45 already. We have to be on the ground by 6.”

“Are you crazy? Who gets up at this time? That too in a cold place like Mussoorie?”

“Haven’t you seen the daily schedule. Get up.”

“I am not going.”

“It’s not your choice.”

“I don’t care.”

“What should I tell the teacher?”

“Nothing. Tell them you don’t know about me.”

“You are too much. Fend for yourself. Come Mary. We have to rush.”

“Protima,” warden came looking for her after ten minutes, “Get up darling. It’s time for morning exercise.”

“I don’t want to exercise.”

“But you have to. It is required for physical fitness.”

“I am perfectly fit.”

“Enough of this drama. If you want to stay at this place, you follow the rules like everyone else does, get it? It’s your first day, I will talk to the PE teacher. He won’t punish you for being late. But that’s it. You are getting up now.”

“What will you do if I don’t get up?”

“You will be punished.”

“Cool. Punish me, if you can.”

“What on earth is wrong with you?”

“I don’t know. Please let me sleep,” she pulled up her blanket over her face.

Warden did not know what to do next. She decided to report to the principal.

“Hello new birdie!” a well-built boy approached Protima as she was walking to the classes with Tara and Mary.

“Let her be Rohit. Do you want to be reported to the principal?” Tara tried to shew him away.

“Awww… why sweetheart, are you jealous? I can handle two of you together.”

“No thanks! My days are not that bad.”

“Let him be Tara. What do you want from me?”

“Let’s get introduced.”

“My name is Protima Ganguli and when you learn to pronounce it right, you can come back for the rest of the introduction.”

“Uh oh… Not so fast sweety,” he was surprised when Protima held his hand, with which he was going to pat her back and tore out a sticker from there. The sticker said “I am available”. He was planning to put it on her back.

“Grow up Kiddo,” Protima told him, “I have done these things at least three times more often than you have. Think of something more intelligent”

Tara and Mary giggled making the boy go red in face. They moved on.

“Excuse me Ma’am,” a boy approached Protima during the break. He had a rose in his hands, “Please accept this from your slave.”

Protima sighed and asked, “Are you a new student?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“I am no Ma’am. My name is Protima. Take this rose back to the person and tell him that if he has the guts, he should come and give it to me directly.”

“But…”

“Go.”

“I like girls with attitude,” another boy came to her with the rose. From his demeanour it was clear that he was the older student who was ragging the new ones.

“So?”

“So. I like you.”

“So does almost everyone on this ground right now.”

“But you will accept the rose from me.”

“No. I won’t.”

She got up and started to move away.

“Come on darling. You don’t know who I am.”

“I don’t want to know more about losers.”

He got irritated, held her hands and pulled her towards him, “You will take this rose, do you understand?”

Protima lifted her right foot and without any warning, hit his crotch with her knees. He cried out in pain.

It took everyone a few seconds to realize what had happened. Then all the students, boys and girls alike, started laughing, while two of the faculty members who had seen them from afar ran to them. One of them took the boy away to help him, while the other grabbed Protima’s hand and took her to the principal’s office.

Principal sighed as he heard her name. He had already gotten complaints from the warden and the PE teacher since yesterday.

“What’s the problem child?” Father Rogers, the principal, asked her.

“I have no problem.”

“Then why are you going around hitting people left and right?”

“I am not hitting people left and right. That boy was harassing me.”

“Teachers have seen the two of you. He was only offering a rose. It’s okay to be offended by that and not accept it. You could have complained about him to me or to any of the other staff members. But hitting someone is not right.”

“Then do what you want to do with me. Send me back.”

“This is a place of learning child. You will learn too, right from wrong, good from bad.”

“I am not so sure. Can I leave now?”

“Wait a minute. I want you to meet Brother Mathew.”

“What for?”

“He will be your counsellor.”

“And do what?”

“Help you adjust.”

“I don’t want to…”

“Come with me,” he did not give her a chance to complete her protest. She was a handful, but he also had the experience of several years in managing students of all kinds, including the problematic ones.

He made her wait outside Mathew’s office for few minutes, while he talked to him. He came out and asked her to go in. Mathew’s office looked like a psychiatrist’s office to Protima and she chuckled loudly.

“You are finding something funny here Protima?”

“Nah! Just familiar. I have been to many a psychiatrists and so I can tell that you are a psychiatrist in disguise Brother Mathew,” she pronounced the word brother with so much sarcasm that it was not lost on Mathew.

He smiled, “You don’t have to call me Brother, if you find it so unnatural. My name is Mathew.”

“How on earth did you pronounce my name right?”

“Well. I know a bit of Bengali as I have lived in Kolkata for a few years.”

“And so you pronounce even Kolkata right. I am impressed. So tell me, how are you going to fix me?”

“Do you think you need to be fixed?”

“Everyone thinks so.”

“But I am asking what you think.”

“Does it matter what I think.”

“Of course, it does.”

“To whom.”

“When it is about you and your life, what you think is what matters most.”

“To nobody.”

“It matters to God!”

“Oh right! That’s the difference between you and the psychiatrists. At least they don’t bring God in between.”

“So, you don’t believe in God?”

“Have you seen God?”

“Yes.”

“Wow! Where? How?”

“God is in everyone.”

“Really,” Protima laughed innocently, “If he is in me, he must be a pretty bad sort of a guy.”

Mathew also laughed, “That was witty. It’s okay. You don’t believe God is looking after you. In that case, you have to believe in yourself, your life choices.”

“Is there a point in living for yourself?”

“If there isn’t, you can live for others.”

“Others don’t care.”

“That’s not true. There is always someone…”

“There is no one. Can I leave now?”

“I would like you to stay.”

“I am leaving.”

“Promise me you will come to me tomorrow after the class.”

“I promise nothing.”

“But I will wait.”

“Protima. You will have to stay in a single room for a few days,” the warden informed her.

“Why?”

“Because you need some time for adjustment.”

“What adjustment?”

“Don’t act so innocent. You have been acting violent towards your fellow students. Until we are sure that you have gotten over it, we can’t have you live with others.”

“Just for your information, I am happy to have a room to myself. I like my privacy very much. But I didn’t hit my roommates or anyone else who hadn’t bothered me.”

“We will evaluate that in time.”

“Great. Thanks.”

At Mathew’s request, no one bothered her for the morning exercise the next day. Her violent nature had been made famous by the victims of the previous day and nobody bothered her during the classes. After the classes, she almost absent-mindedly walked into Mathew’s office.

“I am so glad you came,” he looked genuinely happy.

“I had nothing to do.”

“You don’t want me to feel victorious. That’s fine. I won’t!”

“Huh?”

“You said you came because you had nothing to do.”

“Well…” she appeared confused and sat down on a chair without waiting for an invitation from him.

“So, how was your day?”

“I didn’t hit anybody, if that’s what you want to ask.”

“No. I just asked how was your day? Why would you hit anybody?”

“I have hit people. That’s why I was sent to you.”

“You were sent to me because you needed to talk to someone. And then you hit people because they troubled you, right?”

“So, does that make it right?”

“Did you do it because you thought it was right?”

“No.”

“Then? Did you have no other choice?”

“I guess I did.”

“Then why did you hit them?”

“I don’t know…”

“Try to think. Not necessarily now…”

“I was successful. Nobody troubled me today.”

“So, are you happy today?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“This is not what I want in life.”

“What do you want in life?”

“Too many things, I guess.”

“What could happen different today so that you will feel happy?”

“Today?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on. Are you not happy just like that? There is something you would want to do that will make you happy.”

“Umm… I want to have four scoops of chocolate ice-cream today.”

“Okay. Let’s go and have four scoops of ice-cream.”

“What?”

“What happened?”

“Four scoops of ice-cream. Don’t you think it is crazy?”

“What’s wrong in being crazy once in a while.”

“It’s cold.”

“So, you said that because you thought I won’t agree to it.”

Protima looked a little embarrassed, “I guess so…”

“Why would you want my disapproval?”

“I don’t know. I will leave now.”

“You are free to come and go whenever you want. I hope to see you after classes tomorrow.”

“I don’t know if I will come.”

“I will wait.”

“So Protima. What will make you happy today?”

“Going out shopping.”

“Then do that.”

“I don’t want to go alone.”

“Take a friend with you.”

“I have none.”

“Well. You are new here. Make new friends.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Who do you want to go out with then?”

“You.”

“So, is this another way of making me say ‘no’ to something that will make you happy?”

“No. I want to go out with you.”

“All right.”

“You will come with me?”

“Yes. But not right now. I have to see a few more students. In evening at five. Get permission from your warden.”

“She won’t give me the permission.”

“I will talk to her.”

“I hope you are carrying the money, Protima.”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Because I can’t be a gentleman with you and pay for what you buy. I don’t have the kind of money you would need.”

Protima found it funny and laughed out loud, “Is that your pick-up line for girls? Does it work?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oops! Sorry. Brother Mathew,” she had the same sarcasm in her voice while saying ‘Brother’ as she had earlier, but Mathew did not react.

“How do these look?” Protima picked up a pair of ear-ring.

“Good.”

“And these?”

“Good.”

“And these?”

“They are good too.”

“They are horrible.”

“I see.”

“You are not helping.”

“Protima! Of course, I can’t help. What were you thinking? Why did you want to come with me?”

“Forget this then. Take me to some place of your choice.”

“Some place of my choice?” Mathew smiled patronizingly, “I’m sure going there is not going to make you happy.”

“Try me.”

“Will you go to a church?”

“Are you trying to convert me?”

“I am only telling you the place of my choice.”

“Really? That’s where you would go on a beautiful evening.”

“That’s where I would go to find peace and happiness.”

“Church is just a building.”

“Yes. Things are just things. But what you make out of them is what affects you. People are just people. Whether you make them friends or foes is what is going to decide how you feel around them.”

“Then you don’t really need a church to find peace, do you?”

“No. You don’t. We all have our choices. A baby finds peace in its mother’s arms. Someone else finds it in their lover’s embrace. Some might find it in their warm bed. You have to find yours.”

“You find yours in church?”

“And at a lot of other places. Actually I am at peace almost everywhere.”

“A mighty peaceful person you must be.”

“Not a bad thing, is it?”

“No. I guess not. How did you convince the warden to give me permission to come out today?”

“I told her that you will go for morning exercise like every one else from tomorrow.”

“What? When did I say I will.”

“You didn’t.”

“Then why did you tell her that?”

“I just gave her my word. You are not bound to keep it.”

“Why would you give word on my behalf.”

“I just did what I had to, to make you happy.”

“Make me happy today, and unhappy tomorrow?”

“If it does not make you happy to go for morning exercise, you don’t have to. No one will pester you.”

“But you will lose your word.”

“That’s not your problem.”

“So, how was your day Protima?”

“I’m sure you got the report.”

“Yeah. I got the report of what you did. You went for the exercise and followed every rule. But how did it go for you?”

“Okay, I guess.”

“Were your roommates being mean to you?”

“I stay in a single room.”

“That’s a temporary arrangement. I mean you roommates from your original room.”

“No. They are being rather nice.”

“Then do you think you are ready to shift back with them?”

“I like my privacy.”

“Is there something so private that you don’t want to share with your friends?”

“They are not my friends. We are hardly acquainted.”

“They are not your foes, either. They can become your friends, if you share.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“What do you want to do then?”

“Can I just sit here for a while?”

“Sure.”

“Do you only have religious books in your shelves here?”

“No. There are all kinds of books.”

“Really? Romance?”

“Not Mills & Boons. But you can find something like ‘Gone with the Wind’.”

“Okay.”

Protima read for a while and then made to leave.

“Protima. You don’t need to come to see me now.”

“Why?”

“You look fine. You are settled and adjusted.”

“I see. So, you succeeded with your tricks with another problem-student. Another feather in your cap?”

“You were not a problem and I was not tricking you. What makes you feel like that?”

“Why can’t I come to see you then?”

“You can, if you want to. But you don’t have to.”

“Please keep my slot free, then.”

“So, what has made you or makes you so angry with people, with everything?”

“I thought you no longer needed to be the counsellor.”

“I am not being the counsellor. I am just curious to know. You don’t have to tell me.”

“Will you tell me about yourself?”

“I have a simple life. Ask away.”

“Why are you in the church?”

“My whole life has been there because of the church.”

“How so?”

“I was abandoned as a newborn on the church steps.”

“Oh! I am sorry,” Protima seemed very affected and disturbed by that information. She did not immediately ask anything else.

“What happened?” Mathew asked.

“Don’t you feel… angry at the people who abandoned you?”

“Do I? No.”

“Why not?”

“They must have had their reasons.”

“Have you never felt angry?”

“I never lacked love. Church and the people here ensured that. There were others like me – abandoned, orphaned, disowned… We grew up together. We were like a family.”

“So, all of them work for the church now.”

“No. everyone had their own calling. A couple of others are in the church. Most others have taken up other jobs, professions.”

“So, you weren’t under compulsion to join the church?”

“Of course not! How can anyone be forced to do God’s work?”

“This was your calling?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I felt like giving back, what I had gotten.”

“By helping people like me.”

“If I am able to, that’s one way.”

“But I am not abandoned. Not in the literal sense at least…”

“But you feel abandoned?”

Protima nodded.

“Feeling abandoned is worse than being abandoned Protima. Is that what makes you so angry?”

“Probably. I have… never really thought about it.”

“Then think. Unresolved issues clutter our mind and don’t let us do the constructive things. It’s better to understand what is bugging us and then let go of it.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“It may not be as complicated as you make it out to be.”

“What do you do apart from church work and teaching and counselling in the school?”

Mathew thought for a moment, “Tomorrow is Sunday. I will be in the church in the morning. Why don’t you accompany me to my work after that?”

“Okay.”

“So, you run this community school for poor children?”

“Church does, actually. I only manage it. Many teachers volunteer here. Apart from overall management, I also look after the Sunday school.”

“Conversions, then?” Protima was a bit sarcastic.

“Spiritual upliftment. People do not need to convert for that.”

“I see.”

“Did you see what their lives are like, Protima? They live from hand to mouth. They die of simple and easy to treat diseases. The children are malnutritioned. Church works here, but there is never enough. The basic amenities of life that you, and even I, have always taken or granted, are luxuries for them. They don’t… they can’t worry about problems like depression, abandonment, anger. Definitely not about unmatched ear-rings or uncomfortable sunglasses. They have such real problems to face.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Don’t you feel that your problems are much simpler, less daunting compared to what these people face?”

Protima looked at him strangely, almost as if she was offended. Mathew could not understand her expression. He did not say anything.

She spoke after a while, “So, because I don’t have a problem of food, shelter, clothes and health, my problems are not real? The pain I feel is not supposed to hurt? My tears are not important?”

“Protima!” she had taken him by surprise with her questions.

“Good night,” she said and walked towards her hostel as they had reached back to the school.

“Thank God, you came Protima. I was about to send you an apology note through someone.”

“Apology note?”

“You must be angry at me. For the other day…”

“Why did you think I would be angry?”

“Why else did you not come to see for a week?”

“You had said I don’t need to if I don’t want to.”

“And till that day you had wanted to. Look I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, if you said the right thing?”

“Because I said the wrong thing. I am sorry, I hurt you.”

Protima remained silent. He spoke again, “I thought about what you said all night. And I realized how wrong I was. I ask for your forgiveness.”

“I am not Father Rogers. What could my forgiveness mean to you?”

“Going to the church’s confession box is either for cowards, when you don’t have the strength to apologize to the one you have wronged, or for those with no other choice, when you can’t apologize to the wronged person. Right now, your forgiveness will be God’s forgiveness to me.”

“You might have hurt others in past. What about them?”

“I may not have. I don’t remember ever doing that comparison before anyone else. But to account for the case that I might have done that inadvertently, I will go to Father Rogers as well.”

“I am not angry at you. You may not have been right in discounting the problems of the rich, but there was some thing to think about.”

“What did you think about?”

“When someone is hungry, he really can not force his body to do something. When someone is angry, it is in his power to forget it and move on.”

“That’s a very mature thought.”

“Not easy though.”

“I agree. But you have help.”

“How can you help me?”

“Why don’t you tell me what your problem is?”

Protima sighed, “I am jealous of other people, people who are happy. My batchmates… my friends if you like… They liked going back home after school. Their mothers waited for them. Their fathers looked after them, tracked their progress, talked to the class-teachers if they had any problems… Even here, everyone looks forward to the vacations, so that they can go back home. I don’t…”

“Why not?”

“Mom was never there. Dad was too busy. Mom had drinking problems. She died… Five years ago… She was driving, drunk… Crashed…”

“I am sorry, Protima,” Mathew genuinely was.

“I think I didn’t feel anything… She had never been there anyway… It was not like anything changed…. Well… Dad did… Even though he was busy, he used to ask after me, when he was around… But after Mom died, it seems like he is grieving till date. I think he has taken to drinking as well… I don’t know. He almost never sees me…”

“It has been a long time. Why did you come to the boarding now?”

“My maasi was staying with us most of the time. To look after me… But she found me impossible. I still failed class tenth twice. Managed to pass somehow the next year. But then was thrown out of school in class 11th.”

“Why?”

“For violent behaviour, drugs…”

“Drugs?” Mathew looked worried.

“I was only showing off,” Protima smiled sadly.

“Okay. Why violence?”

“I don’t know… I got angry, if someone bothered me. Even a little bit. Like it happened here too… And I didn’t have Mom or Dad to talk to the class teacher. Do I sound stupid?”

“No. You don’t.But tell me something, Protima. Has it always been like this with your parents?”

“Whatever I remember is like that…”

“Try to think Protima. There might have been better times, happy times. Close your eyes and think… Of a time when you were happy. Come on…”

She obeyed and closed her eyes.

“Think Protima…”

“It was my birthday. Mom had got me new bicycle. I was very happy. All my friends were there. We were waiting for Dad to cut the cake… And he came… He had brought me a puppy… I had always wanted one…” she opened her eyes. She had tears in them, “But by my next birthday, it had died…”

“Hey,” Mathew walked towards her and patted her head, “It’s all right. Calm down.”

She suddenly got up and hugged him tight. Mathew was taken aback. Surprise, bordering on shock, showed on his face. He did not hug her back and waited until she withdrew.

“I’m sorry,” she said embarrassed.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I guess.”

“Sit down Protima.”

She obeyed.

“Your parents aren’t bad people, you realize that, right? You had happy times with them. Remember more of those. Something must have gone wrong and you were probably too young to understand it.”

“But everyone has problems. Does it mean they could abandon their daughter?”

“I don’t know. I can only guess. May be they were not strong enough. But you should forgive them for that. They are not bad people.”

“I guess you are right.”

“And you really have resources to make sure that you life, your dreams do not suffer because of this. You don’t lack money. Have dreams and go after them!”

Protima finally smiled through her tears, “Thank you.”

“Father Rogers. You wanted to see me?” Mathew entered Father’s office after getting permission.

“Yes. Mathew. Please sit down.” He waited for Mathew to sit down, then spoke again, “How has been the progress of this student, Protima Ganguli?”

“It has been good. Don’t you think so? She topped the class in the half-yearly exams. And her participation in sports is also encouraging. She might bring a medal or two in sprint events in this year’s inter-school competition.”

“Yes. But no other student has needed counselling for so long. It has been months…”

“She does not need counselling any longer.”

“But she sees you everyday.”

“She comes of her own accord…”

“Mathew. I will be direct. Is there something going on? People are talking and these children are my responsibility.”

“Father! What are you talking about? They are my responsibility too.”

“I know… I have always trusted you. But this closeness…”

“Trust me father. She is just… she feels abandoned by her family and if I can give some support that helps her…”

“I trust you Mathew. But can I trust her? What makes her come to you everyday. What if she is…”

“Father. She is a child. Even if she has a little crush, it is harmless. She will get over it.”

“I just thought I should let you know. Any scandal will not be good for either you, her or the school.”

“Rest assured Father.”

“I leave the rest to your judgement.”

“Thank you Father. You don’t have any reasons to be worried.”

“Do you know what will make me happy today?”

“What?”

“Going to your home.”

“My home?” Even after all these months of watching her, she managed to surprise him with her requests every now and then.

“Yes. Will you take me?”

“It may not be a good idea, Protima.”

“Why not?”

“It’s… Why do you want to go to my home?”

“So, finally you are going to say ‘no’ to me?”

“Come on, Protima. I thought you were over all of this.”

“What’s wrong?” she became serious, “Is there a problem? Have I done something…”

“No. No,” he had worked hard on sorting her out. He could not let her slip back to the feelings of insecurity and abandonment. So, he had to assure her, “Let’s go.”

“Great. What time?”

“Let’s leave at four. But you must be back in an hour.”

“I will Brother Mathew. I won’t let your reputation be tarnished. Don’t worry,” she giggled and Mathew felt uncomfortable. But he did not say anything.

“So. This is my humble abode,” Mathew said as they entered his house, “Don’t know what treasure you expect to find here.”

“Well there is wine and this looks nice, vintage…” she picked up a wine-bottle she located.

Mathew took it away from her hastily, “You are not old enough for this.”

“Well… I turn eighteen today. Old enough, you see.”

“It’s your birthday, Wow! Happy birthday.”

“So. Wine?”

“No. That’s not the way to celebrate a nice day.”

Protima smiled, “Right. I know you won’t let me drink it. I brought something for you.”

“For me?”

She took out a pen set from her handbag and handed it to him.

“I can’t take it. And it’s your birthday. You are the one who should be getting gifts. But…”

“You can’t do anything for me, that you can’t do for every student. Obviously, you can’t keep giving gifts to everyone. So, I need a way to celebrate it. That’s why a gift for you.”

“Nice play on words. But you know I can’t accept a gift from a student.”

“That’s why I wanted to come here. I am not in the school.I am your guest, not a student.”

“Protima…”

“Please,” she sounded so sincere and desperate that Mathew could not refuse her any longer.

“All right,” he said unwillingly, “But just this one time. Not again.”

“Fine. I will leave now.”

“Wait. You are my guest. Have some tea before going.”

“Okay. You will make it yourself?”

“Yeah. I do everything myself.”

It was her second year in the school.

“Can I ask you something Protima?”

“Of course.”

“Why do you come to see me every day?”

“Does it bother you?”

“Don’t dodge the question by asking something that will make me defensive.”

“You know my tricks well, then.”

“It has been over one year!”

“Right.”

“So. Why?”

“I… just need to… Else I will fall back to my old ways.”

“Why would you? Don’t you like how your life is now? You are doing well, you have friends, teachers like you, you are popular… Why would you fall back to your old ways?”

“Because I don’t do things right for popularity or friends or success. I do it because you want me to…”

“Protima. This is your life.”

“I know. Do I bother you?”

“No. Absolutely not. I feel really happy when you do well.”

“Yeah. When any of your students does well, right?”

“Right.”

She had hardly spoken anything that day, which was not unusual. She often came to his office, read few pages from a book, walked around and then left with a ‘bye’. But it was her restlessness that was making Mathew wonder. She was unable to concentrate on the book she had picked up. Her posture was tense. He finally had to ask.

“What is going on? Is there something you want to tell me?”

“You had asked me a few days back, why I came here everyday.”

“Yeah. So?”

“I come here because I love you,” Given her earlier discomfort she was surprisingly direct and unhesitant in saying this.

Mathew was unsettled, but he managed to pretend calmness, “That’s great. You should. I love you too.”

“The way you love the rest of the mankind?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah. But that’s not what I meant.”

Mathew sighed, “Right… Well… It’s not such a huge problem. You will get over it. You just…”

“Why should it be a problem? And I don’t need to get over it.”

Mathew smiled patronizingly, “You need to and you will. These confused feelings are not uncommon in people at your age…”

“I am older than most of your students. Remember I had to repeat classes.”

“Right… Older… By two years?” he was still smiling the same way.

“I am eighteen. Old enough to get married, have and raise a baby and elect our country’s government.”

“Yes. Unfortunately, it seems we are never too old to not make a mistake.”

“I am not making a mistake and I will prove it to you.”

“How?”

“You will see.”

“Protima. I am not going to let you spoil and waste your life.”

“For the first time I have found meaning in it.”

“You must stop seeing me.”

“Fine. Tell me to go away when I come next. I think it’s time for you to see your next student. Bye.”

Mathew was quite lost. He somehow gathered himself together and met with his other students, then left for his home earlier than usual. Should he have listened to Father Rogers’ advice? Had he been over-confident? Had he become weak and given her the wrong signals? His confusions and mental struggle became worse as time passed. He could not sleep at night, a very rare thing for him, and found himself down with fever in the morning. He called up at the school asking the administration to put up a notice of his absence on his office noticeboard.

Protima was panting by the time she reached his house. On seeing the notice in his office, she had panicked. What could have happened to him? She was surprised and relieved to see that the door of his house was not locked from inside. She rushed in. The house had only two rooms. She did not have difficulty in locating his bedroom. The door was open again. She rushed in.

He was lying on the bed, his eyes closed. She went close to him and touched his forehead. He was running high temperature. But he realized that someone was there. He opened his eyes.

“Protima?” he spoke weakly.

“What have you done to yourself? I don’t even know what to do? Did you take medicines?” she was almost choking on her words.

“You shouldn’t be here. I am fine. Go away.”

“No. Not until you are better.” She looked at the medicines lying on the table nearby, “You have already taken paracetamol?”

“Yes.”

“I will use cold water strips then,” she replied and went out to get water. She found a towel in the house and decided to use it for the strip.

Mathew was too weak to resist strongly. After a while, with the help of cold strips, his temperature came down.

“You should leave now, Protima.”

“Did this happen because of me? Because of what I said yesterday?”

He did not say anything.

“I think I got my reply,” she said sadly, “I am sorry. You don’t want me to come to you. I won’t come. I promise. But please let me make sure today that you are okay. Have you eaten anything?”

“No. I could not…”

“What can I get you?”

“It’s not needed…”

“Please. I am not good at these things. I won’t know on my own. Please help me.”

“Fine. Get me some milk and bread. There is shop right at the end of the street…”

“I know. I will be back in five minutes.”

She got the bread and milk, toasted the bread although burned them slightly in the process, boiled the milk and served him.

“Can I come back in the evening…” she began to ask when he had finished eating.

“No. I am fine. There is enough bread and milk. I will help myself.”

“Okay,” she was unwilling, but could not pester him. She looked at him longingly and left.

They hadn’t met each other for last four months, not since she had left him in his house after feeding him bread and milk. Her exams for class 12th were over and it was time to leave the school. She was packing her stuff, when she got a note from Mathew. It was written formally on his letterhead asking her to meet him that evening. A small smile formed on her lips, but she also wondered what they would talk about.

She knocked and walked into his office. She stood silently.

“How did your exams go?”

“Fine, I think. The results will tell…”

“You had done well in mock-tests.”

“Your tracked my results?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I have always wanted you to do well. I always will want so.”

“Thank you.”

“What are the future plans?”

“College in Mumbai, I think. Dad told me recently that we are shifting to Mumbai. His business headquarters had anyway shifted to Mumbai from Kolkata.”

“Good. Mumbai is a great city. A land of opportunities.”

“Hopefully.”

“I wanted to give you something.”

“What?”

“I know you don’t believe in God. But still, keep it as a symbol of goodness in life. You might find peace in it when you need it the most.” He handed her a cross with Christ. It could be used as a pendant.

She took it and clutched it hard in her hand as if ensuring it won’t go away, “Thank you. It means a lot.”

“All the best, Protima. And you have moved on, right?”

“No. I haven’t. I never will.”

“You must.”

“I won’t. And I think one day you will come to me.”

“I won’t Protima. Don’t wait for me. Live you life.”

“That I will do. I think… I have learned to live my life.”

“Remember, our lives are different. Our paths are different. They crossed for a while, to fulfill some purpose. But from now on…”

“I can see what purpose it served in my life. What did it serve in yours?”

“It taught me that just because people are well-fed and well-clothed, it does not mean their problems and pains are not real.”

Protima was surprised that he referred to an incident from long ago. She smiled wistfully, “Let’s see who wins my little challenge.”

Mathew also smiled, “If I win, Protima, you don’t lose either. It will be the real win for you too.”

“Same here. You won’t lose if I win.” She moved forward and kissed him on the cheek, “Bye Mathew.”

He wasn’t unsettled with it, but he did not reciprocate the physical gesture. “Good bye, Protima. Take care of yourself. There should be no looking back in your life.”

Netra was listening to the story with the wonder and curiosity of a child.

“And then, Mamma?” she asked eagerly.

Protima smiled, “And then I came to Mumbai. I had hardly started college, when your grandfather, my Dad came to me one day and said that I should get involved in business with him and work with him after my classes. I did not know why it could not wait until I finished college, But I did what he wanted. I wanted to keep busy and keep working. I realized why he did that when soon after I finished my BA, he had to step away from active management. He was suffering from heart problems. Open heart surgery was not so safe and prevalent then. He succumbed to his illness soon. You are probably not interested in this part, but it might be a life lesson for you too. So, I am telling you. Before dying he explained to me what had happened to him after my Mom’s death. Mom wasn’t the one driving the car when she had died in the accident. It was him. She was drunk and they were having some argument. Something went wrong with the car and he lost control. He asked Mom to jump out of the car as it was going to crash. But she was too drunk to follow his instructions. He jumped out and was saved. But he could never get over the guilt of not being able to save her. He had started ignoring me because seeing me always overwhelmed him with guilt. And he also told me the reason why Mom had taken to drinking.”

“Why?”

“Because she had contracted AIDS. Possibly through blood infusion or unhygienic syringe during her hospitalization a few days back for a minor surgery. Again, the awareness was not there and anyone who came to know about it questioned her character! She went into depression and started drinking. Sorry for these depressing stories darling. But it just came out…”

“It’s fine Mom.”

“Coming back to me. After Dad died, I just threw myself into my work. That was my life, apart from the occasional visits to the church, untill…”

“Untill?”

“Untill I heard about you in the church one day. When I saw you and came to know that…” she hesitated and paused.

“That I was abandoned at the church?” Netra completed the sentence for her.

Protima nodded, “I felt that you were a part of him Netra, who was sent to me by… God, I guess. Mathew’s God, even if I was not sure of His existence.”

“You never met each other after you left the school?”

“No.”

“Does he even know about me?”

“Of course, he does. I have always sent him letters, telling him everything about myself and you. He has your photographs. He never replied, but he always sent a card on your birthday.”

“I have never seen one…”

“I saved them all, but I did not show them to you earlier. Because I did not want to raise your hopes. I was waiting for the day, when you would know the story and understand. I think today is the day. Wait a minute.”

Protima went to her room and came back with a cardboard box. It had thirteen birthday cards. Netra looked at them and touched them one by one, getting emotional.

“Netra,” Protima addressed after she had looked at all the cards, “The one good thing my Dad did before dying was that he told me what had gone wrong with him and Mom. Because of that I could honestly assure him on his death-bed that I was not angry with him. It also helped me forgive them, truly forgive them. Like Mathew had said, they were not strong enough, but they were not bad people. Today you know everything you can about yourself, me and Mathew. It’s true that biologically we have not given birth to you. You also did not have the perfect, complete family life a child deserves. But if the best reason for a child to come in the world is the love her parents share, then nobody was born with a better reason than you. You are with us because of the love we shared. Even if you Daddy has not been physically there for you, I assure you that he loves you and always looks after you in his own ways.”

“This is surreal Mamma. You loved him so much that you waited for him all these years and never thought of…”

“Love, I realize now, is not good enough a word Netra. It is something that you can only feel. A spiritual connection is probably the closest thing in words to describe it, but it is loaded too. And no – I am not waiting for him. I stopped doing that long back. I know, now, that he was true to his word. But I don’t regret my decision either. I am very happy with my life.”

“Mamma…” Netra was overwhelmed.

“Do you hold grudges against me Netra? Or him? If there is something I could have done for you and I haven’t, if you have ever felt that you lacked a mother’s love, let me…”

“Stop it, Mamma,” finally tears had started flowing from Netra’s eyes, “I love you. And I know that no one can love someone like you do. I am the happiest and luckiest child in the world.” She hugged her mother.

“I love you darling. I love you a lot,” Protima was also teary-eyed as she hugged her daughter back and patted her lightly.

Four years later…

“Mamma. Class 12th exams are over and I am planning to go on a trip to Mussoorie and nearby places with my friends.”

Protima smiled. “I know where you are going and why. He is now Father Mathew. They have promotions too, you see,” she joked.

“Mamma!”

“Here. Take this,” she took out the chain she was wearing with the cross pendant. “The way people used to carry a piece of jewelry for identification in old days.”

“You are too much Mamma.”

“You will need permission to enter the school campus to meet him. So, you will need to call him beforehand…”

“No. That won’t do. I want it to be a surprise…”

“Then you have to catch him in the church… I don’t know what time is the best, except on the Sundays. Or get up at five in the morning. And find him in the public park for his morning walk.”

“Five in the morning? In Mussoorie?”

“Well…”

“All right. He must be God’s son. What else would explain having to do so many penances to reach him,” Netra joked and the mother-daughter duo laughed.

Protima did not have any photo of Mathew, but there weren’t many people in the park that early in the morning. Netra joined an elderly gentleman in his walk.

“Father Mathew?” she asked.

“Yes child. What brings you…” he stopped as he looked at her.

“Do you recognize this?” Netra held out the pendant she was wearing for him to see.

The look of surprise on his face changed to a smile, “It was not needed. I recognize you, Netra.”

She also smiled back.

“Come. Let’s sit down,” Mathew said.

“It’s so cold here. I have spent all my life in Mumbai. I can’t bear this. Can we go indoors somewhere?”

“The church is nearby, but I don’t know if you…”

“Why not? I have been brought up as a Christian?”

“Really?” Mathew looked at her in surprise.

“You didn’t know?”

“Protima never told me. She didn’t need to do this…”

“But she did, Daddy… I am sorry. Can I call you Daddy? After all Father and Daddy mean the same thing, right?”

Mathew laughed out loud, “No. They don’t mean the same thing. But yes – you can call me Daddy.”

They walked into the empty church and sat down on the chairs in the back row.

“How did you recognize me?” Netra asked, “By the photos Mamma sent?”

“You have changed your hair-style since the last photo she had sent. But see. Someone gifted me this recently. An old student,” he took out a large screen smart-phone from his pocket, “And he taught me something with which I can see your latest photos.”

Netra looked on curiously, as he, with lots of effort, tapped the phone screen to finally reach Facebook application, searched for her profile and went to her photos page. Then she broke into an amused laughter, “You have been stalking me on Facebook.”

“The joys of technology child. If it had been there in our times…”

“Would you have written to Mamma then?” she became serious.

“No. I had held on to the hope for a long time that she would move on and live her life normally.”

“And?”

“And she wasn’t normal. She was a little crazy. After you came, I knew this was how it was supposed to be. It was God’s will. You were God’s child.”

“You never came to see me.”

“I am sorry. Forgive me for that, if you can. But going away from here might have tempted me to abandon my duties to so many others who needed me. You had your mother. And I knew that she would have ample love for you. Was I wrong?”

“No.”

“But you should know that I love you.”

“Like you love everyone else who needs you?”

Mathew laughed slightly, as he remembered how Protima also used to ask in various ways, if he treated her in the same way as all the other students. Then he replied with a smile still on his lips, “No. You are special. And I am sure God will not mind my bias for you.”

“I am here for three days. Can I… stay with you?”

“Of course. For as long as you like and as long as you have time.”

“I wish I could stay longer, but I have enrolled in a vocational course for summers. So, I will have to go back. But for these three days, can I… can I ask you to step away from your duties and spend time with me. If it is not…”

“Yes. You can Netra. And your time starts right away. Let’s go home.”

Over next three days, Netra went to the places in the city she remembered from Protima’s story with Mathew – the market, the slum of poor people, the church, his office, various places on the school. They also spent a lot of time in the quiet, scenic places in Mussoorie trying to know more about each other. Netra soon realized that although Mathew worked hard to keep his emotional side in check, he was as eager to know about Protima and Netra, as they were about him. She felt nice. He showed her the pen Protima had gifted him all those years back. “I sign all your birthday cards with this,” he said.

“Really. You still get refills for such an old pen.”

“It’s an ink-pen Netra. And yes – you still get ink. Though kids these days don’t like to touch ink-pens I have seen.”

Netra grinned foolishly.

Soon, it was time to leave.

“Won’t you come to see her at least once, Daddy?” Netra asked before leaving.

“So, you have come here to fight the battle on behalf of you mother, eh? You want me to lose?” Mathew joke.

“Is there a battle?”

He smiled fondly, “No. There is none. I was joking.”

“I know.”

“I will come. At least once.”

“Can I call you?”

“Of course. Whenever you want. Why didn’t you call earlier? Did Protima ask you not to?”

“No. I never asked her, I had never met you. I wasn’t sure what would I talk over phone.”

“I will wait for your call.”

Ten years later…

Tired Netra came downstairs to open the door for the visitor and was extremely excited to see him.

“Daddy!” she cried and hugged him, “Thank you so much for coming. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming….”

“Where is she?”

“In her room. Please come.”

“Mamma. Look who is here?” Netra went by Protima’s bedside and gently held her hand.

“Who? Mathew? No. I am hallucinating,” she said lying on the bed. She had developed respiratory problems and could not move around much.

Mathew moved forward and sat down beside her on the bed, “That’s what I had thought thirty-five years ago, when I was down with high fever and you had walked in, to look after me, Protima.”

Protima was speechless for a few moments. Then she opened her mouth as if to say something, but ran short of words. In her excitement, she tried to get up, but Netra stopped her, “Easy Mom.”

“I am fine Netra,” she did finally sit up with Netra’s and Mathew’s help.

“I will be back in a bit. Just call me if you need me,” Netra said and went out leaving them alone.

“Say something, Protima,” Mathew said with a smile.

“I won,” she said playfully.

“Yeah. But I did too, right?”

She nodded, “Thank you for coming. But how did you manage?”

“I am sixty-five now. I retired from my church duties.”

“Then you will stay, right?” she looked so desperate that Mathew could not keep the surprise from her for long.

“Yes.”

“Thank you,” she got tears in her eyes, “I am so tired and weak. And Netra is alone.”

“I am here. And you have brought Netra up to be strong. She is fine. Don’t worry,” he got up, sat near the headboard of the bed and gave her a slight side hug. “I am here,” he said again.

She closed her eyes with smile on her lips. The last six months or so of her life were going to be spent in the company of her love. She couldn’t have lived a better life!

Netra, who had stopped at the door seeing them talking, wiped her tears and came in with the tea-tray.

– The End –