Mutual Jealousy (Part 3)

Posted Leave a commentPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

What had surprised him most was how she understood his pain. Most people, including his friends, thought that he should be happy to inherit a business that was doing well and hence gave him a financially comfortable life. But she knew better. “You can find someone to run this business for you in few years and then go for your studies, can’t you Mukundo Babu?” she had asked, looking hopeful.

“No Piyali. It would be too late. Maths is… a young man’s game. I would be too old and weary in few years.”

“That’s not true,” she had frowned innocently, “All our Maths teachers are old. Much older than you would be in few years.”

“I can teach you Maths till well into my old age, Piyali. But Maths research… Forget it. Have you finished your homework?”

“Not yet.”

“Do it then.”

“I will do it later.”

“No. You will leave it and then we will have another complaint in your school diary.”

“It’s the same thing again, Mukundo Babu…”

“And if you don’t practice those problems, you won’t remember them for the exams. Come now…”

“I hate you, Mukundo Babu.”

“Sure. You do.”

She was a bright child. But Mukundo worried for her because of lack of guardianship from early age. Despite Mukundo’s informal supervision of her studies and well-being, as well as of their property and financial affairs, on a day to day basis, she was the mistress of the house. With her father behaving more like a child than her, that was inevitable. And it was building an arrogance and overconfidence in her that could do her harm. She mistook her intelligence for her wisdom.

“You must study well, Piyali. You have to get a good job and make a good career.”

“Hmm…”

“I am serious.”

“I will marry somebody rich,” she said to just to rile him up.

“Nobody wants to marry a girl these days, who isn’t working.”

“You are talking about yourself. You are miserly enough to grudge having to support your wife.”

“I would certainly not marry a girl who does nothing but sits around in the house demanding jewelry and wasting time with parties.”

“You would marry no one, I am sure of that. But don’t worry. I won’t marry either. I was only joking. I am smart enough to earn my livelihood.”

“Smart enough to earn. Not wise enough to choose right,” he mumbled under his breath, but she either hadn’t heard him, or had chosen to ignore it.

What he was worried about was her being increasing thick with the new girl in town – Saina. The city girl, whose professed career goal was to become a model and an actress. Piyali’s association with her was reflecting in all sorts of disturbing ways. Her already distracted nature was even more distracted from her studies. She would sometimes cut her music practice short to go shopping with Saina. Her walk back from school had decidedly gotten longer and at least once or twice he had spotted the two of them in their school uniforms in the market. Given that it was crucial year, when she would be writing her board exams, Mukundo was particularly uneasy.

“There is Mukundo,” Mr. Banerjee looked relieved to see him as he entered for his evening tea as usual, “Can’t he drop you?”

“Come on, Baba. Doesn’t he have anything else to do other than chauffeuring me around?” Piyali sounded annoyed, quite unlike herself.

“What’s going on?”

It turned out that driver hadn’t come that day and Piyali had to go to a friend’s place for a party. She was insisting upon riding her cycle for the purpose and that was unacceptable to Mr. Banerjee. “It would be dark by the time she comes back. What if she doesn’t notice a pothole or something? She can fall and hurt herself.”

Anybody else in his place would worry more about what if she met some rogues on the streets after dark, but Mr. Banerjee’s thoughts were completely occupied by people’s physical safety from diseases and accidents than anything else. Mukundo suppressed a smile and offered to drop her and pick her up back once the party was over.

“Where do you have to go?” he asked finally.

“But Mukundo Babu. You don’t have to…”

He pulled her aside and spoke in a hushed tone, “What is the point of getting Kaku upset? Do you have any problem in going with me?”

She just pursed her lips in response and did not say anything. Mukundo found her behavior odd, but could not figure out a reason behind it.

“When do you have to go?”

“We have time for tea.”

“All right. Get ready after that.”

Mr. Banerjee left for his walk after tea, while Piyali went to her room to change.

His eyes bulged on seeing her come out of the room wearing a short skirt ending just above her knees. He shook his head, when he found his bearings back.

“What on earth are you wearing?”

“What’s wrong? It’s a pretty dress.”

“Since when did you start wearing this stuff? Go change it and wear something less ridiculous.”

“Mukundo Babu!”

“Go. Now!”

She turned on her heels to obey him, even as her eyes brimmed over.

He felt guilty when she came out next. She had worn one of her usual jeans and t-shirts. She had gone too plain for a party.

He tried to make amends. “Why don’t you wear that pink dress you had bought for your birthday?”

“It had gone for dry cleaning,” she said dryly.

“What about that purple top…”

“I am already too late. If we are not leaving immediately, I might as well drop the idea of going there.”

He sighed. He had hurt her. He decided to leave the reconciliation for later. He himself needed to think through his reaction. Did he have to react so harshly?

“You are going to Saina’s house?” he tried to sound casual, when she told her where she had to be dropped.

“If you think I shouldn’t, you can turn around right away.”

“Piyali… I’m not…” he didn’t complete his sentence as he found her deliberately turning her head to look out of the window. ‘Take a deep breath, and think about it later,’ he told himself.

“I will wait at the club. Call up at their coffee shop, when you are done and I will be here in fifteen minutes.”

She nodded and went in.

To be continued

Mutual Jealousy (Part 2)

Posted 1 CommentPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

She continued crying even after she was seated on the ground and it was ascertained that neither of them were hurt. He assumed that she was shocked and afraid. “It’s okay, Piyali. Calm down. You are all right. Safe…”

“You… your…”

“I am fine too. See. Not a scratch. I was careful, when I pulled you off.”

“I mean… your motorcycle…” she managed to speak through her sobs.

“Motorcycle? Oh!” he had completely forgotten the fate of his beloved vehicle. His heart sank for a moment when he saw its pitiable condition. Its engine was still running, but Mukundo wasn’t sure it could carry them back.

“I’m so… so… sorry, Mukundo Babu. I just blacked out. I couldn’t… Oh God! You are angry… You won’t talk to me…”

She had guessed it right. If it were anybody other than her who was responsible for that condition of his bike, Mukundo Thakur wouldn’t have talked to the person for rest of their lives, and done much worse than that, but… The one time he had acted on his threat of not talking to her, when she had eaten ice cream before her music exam despite him warning her against it, she had been so miserable that it had come to her father’s attention and he had had to intervene, with his frail nerves and all! Mukundo had vowed never to do that with her again, irrespective of how much she tested his patience. And this time he was feeling as guilty as she was.

“Calm down, Piyali. It is a bike, a machine. It can be fixed. What is important is you are safe. I have myself pulled a stint for which I shouldn’t talk to myself… Pulling you off a running bike like that. But… I couldn’t think of anything else. Come, Piyali. Let’s go home. Oh wait… How will we go… I will call the driver… He will bring the car…”

“The motorcycle?”

“It will have to go to Kolkata for servicing. I will find the number of the service center. Hope they can pick it up today itself.”

“Kolkata?”

“Yes. I can’t give it here. To people servicing Bajaj’s and scooties! Can’t imagine what they would do to this Harley Davidson…”

“I’m sorry, Mukundo Babu.”

“Stop saying that.”

“Not a word to Baba,” she reminded him as they got down at her home.

“Not a word…”

“I wish he wasn’t so nervous about everything… I wish I knew how to reassure him…” she started saying, but her voice trailed away.

“Piyali!” his voice was thick with emotions, “You are a good daughter. Nobody could do more for him than you do.”

“Your Maths journals, and sadness again!” her voice broke Mukundo’s reverie. He was in his library.

He smiled at her, “Not sadness, Piyali. Thoughtfulness. I like poring over them, and thinking them through.”

“Don’t they remind you of lost dreams?” She sauntered in and made herself comfortable in a chair opposite him.

“They are the closest I can be to my dreams.”

“Hmm… There are some books in your library that I have noticed… Can I borrow them?”

“Books? You? Wow! Of course, you can borrow them. You can steal them if you want. If there are books you want to read… Which ones?”

“I read enough of Sharat Chandra and Robi Thakur to Kaki,” she said, “So not those.” Mukundo smiled. Piyali spent several hours on weekends with his mother, who never talked, but clearly loved being read to.

She ambled through the aisles and was back with two books in no time. “These for the time being.” She must have marked them out for reading earlier. They were travelogues. Closest she could be to her dreams. Of travelling far and wide. She didn’t voice it often. For the fear of upsetting her father. But he knew.

“Kolkata Book Fair is round the corner. I will get you more such books from there.”

“That’d be great. Are you coming home? It’s tea time almost.”

“Yeah.”

Unless something pressing came up, Mukundo always had his evening tea with Piyali and her father. Then he stayed on for couple of hours. Sometimes practicing music with Piyali, sometimes helping her with her homework, and sometimes just engaging Mr. Banerjee in a conversation so that she could have time for herself.

Once a month, he went to Kolkata. He met up with his friends at the university, got the latest copies of Maths journals from them, bought some gifts for Piyali, any medicines for his mother and her father, which were not available in Haldia, and books for his library.

Studying Maths had been his dream. And initially there hadn’t appeared any difficulties in pursuing it. His father’s business in the port town of Haldia was prospering. He fully supported his son when he didn’t want to join business, instead pursue academics. After finishing his undergraduation, Mukundo was trying to decide where to go for his Masters and Ph. D. He had to choose between ISI Kolkata and couple of offers from American universities. But the disaster struck before he could make his decision. His father died in an accident. Mr. Thakur had the long term plan to put in place a professional management in his business. But no work had yet started in that direction. He was expecting to have many years to achieve the goal, which were snatched away suddenly by a stroke of fate. His death had another disastrous consequence. Mukundo’s mother never got over the shock and became withdrawn. She would neither speak, nor laugh, nor cry. She would also not step out of the house even to see the doctor.

These circumstances meant that Mukundo could not leave the town. He also had to take over the business he had never intended to involve himself with. Depression would have washed over him, but for one person in his life. Nine-year-old Piyali.

She had been more unfortunate than even him with the life and health of her parents. Her mother had died when she was six. Her death was a result of a road accident followed by internal injury and infection that went undiagnosed. Mr. Banerjee had been a nervous sort of man even before that. But this accident had spun his hypochondria and fear of traveling out of control. It had created a situation where instead of him parenting Piyali, she had to adopt that role at a very tender age. Thankfully, as their neighbor and family friends, Mukundo and his parents had stepped in to take care of the child and also help her cope with her father’s condition. But in the aftermath of his own father’s death, which left even his mother incapable of shouldering any parenting responsibilities, Mukundo had become Piyali’s de-facto guardian. This was the only responsibility that he did not grudge. The young girl had been his friend anyway and having her around pleased and calmed him like nothing else.

To be continued

Mutual Jealousy (Part 1)

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

“What the hell, Piyali? Who had asked you to learn cycling? You have a driver and a car at your beck and call. Why do you need to hurt yourself like this?” Mukundo was furious with her as he helped her get up.

“I am already hurt and crying,” she complained through her tears, “Don’t scold me and make my cry more.”

“Right… Thankfully I have brought my car. Come, I will take you home.”

“The bicycle…”

“I will leave it at Girdhar’s and have it picked up later. Come now… There should be a band aid in the car’s first aid kit… You are incorrigible…”

“Mukundo Babu!!”

“All right, all right. Let’s go…”

Piyali lifted her jeans up to her knee with some difficulty. Mukundo winced at her scraped knee.

“You need to be grounded,” he mumbled angrily.

“It’s not that bad…”

“You would know the day you catch tetanus or something,” he warned as he washed the wound with water kept in his car. Then he put a band aid.

“Ouch!” Her knees hurt as she tried to walk into her house.

“Let me help you,” he rushed to support her.

“No. Baba must not know that I am hurt. He would be beside himself…”

Mukundo smiled fondly at her. She was worried not for herself here, he knew. She wouldn’t mind some scolding coming her way. But her hypochondriac father will be so distressed that he will keep the entire household on its toes, and make himself most miserable of all.

But she winced as she took another step and the old servant Binoy happened to come to the doorway just then.

“Oh my God! Pihu baby, what has happened?”

“She’s just a little hurt, Binoy…”

“Hurt? How? Cycling again? With those rowdy kids?”

“Hush…”

But it was too late. Mr. Debendra Banerjee had already heard the commotion was there. “What happened? How are you hurt? Should we take you to a doctor?

“It’s nothing, Baba…”

“How do you know it’s nothing until the doctor has seen you. You are delicate, Shona. We must not take any chances…”

“I have put a band aid, Kaku. She fell from the bicycle and scraped her knees a little, that’s it…”

“Bicycle? Why on earth were you riding a bicycle? Where is the driver…”

“I was learning, Baba!”

“Nonsesne. There is no need to learn if you hurt yourself…”

“That won’t do, Kaku,” Mukundo surprised Piyali by his intervention on this, “She must learn. She can’t remain a baby all her life. And everyone falls once in a while.” Hadn’t he voiced exactly the same objection himself? Now he was defending her before her father? Well… That was just like Mukundo Babu, the fifteen-year old barely suppressed a mischievous smile. But her father still needed to be diverted. He was still arguing with Mukundo. If there was one thing that consumed him more than the concern for Piyali’s health, it was his own health.

“Baba. Isn’t it time for your tea and evening walk? Binoy Da. Please drop everything else and bring us tea. And also his walking-stick. He must not walk without the stick. It puts too much pressure on his ankles, which was sprained so badly just last year…”

And before anyone had any opportunity of referring her hurt knee again, Mr.  Banerjee was fed his tea and was on his way towards the park with his walking-stick.

“So, you will never spare a chance to scold me, even when you think what I did was not wrong?”

“What I think is that you shouldn’t try to learn with those still-in-nappy kids, who can barely hold themselves straight, let alone help you with a tripping bicycle.”

“They are my friends and none of the are in nappies, for God’s sake. And didn’t you yourself say that everyone falls once in a while?”

“If they have a bad teacher.”

“I am doing with whatever teachers I can manage. Who else will teach me otherwise? Binoy Da himself doesn’t know how to ride a cycle. Baba doesn’t have the heart to teach me. And you do not have the time or patience.”

“It is unlikely that others will be able to overcome their handicap. So, I guess I must overcome mine.”

“You… will… teach… me?” she asked cautiously.

“What option do I have?”

“Hmm…”

“What?”

“You aren’t as bad-tempered and grumpy as you appear sometimes. I think people are right. You need to get married,” she grinned at him.

“Get married? What does that have to do with anything?”

“If you don’t get married, people say, you would grow into a grumpy, lonely old man. Of course nobody thinks you are that right now. But I can see the signs already.”

“You can? I must grab the next woman I can find, and marry her then?”

“But you probably shouldn’t marry after all.”

“Why this change of mind?”

“If you got married, you won’t have much time for us – me and Baba.”

“What a selfish girl you are, Piyali.”

She looked up at him startled, but saw only amusement in his eyes. So, she grinned in response.

“And what will happen when you are married and gone off? What will I do for company?”

“I am not going to get married. How lonely Shalu Di’s Baba is since she got married. He misses her so much. I can’t leave Baba like that.”

“She knew that. But she got married anyway.”

“She was the sort who should get married. She’d be unhappy otherwise.”

“And you won’t be?”

“Absolutely not.”

“We’ll see.”

“Whenever you have believed me!” she pouted and Mukundo playfully ruffled her hair.

“I must also learn how to ride a motorcycle.”

“Motorcycle? You are not old enough to have a license. And what do you need to ride a motorcycle for?”

“Whatever you need to ride a motorcycle for. And I must learn now so that when I am old enough to get a license, I can get one quickly.”

“Piyali. Bicycle is enough. And you can get a scooter if you must…”

“Motorcycle! Your motorcycle!” she put her foot down.

He managed to teach her how to ride a cycle and did not let her get hurt again as he had promised. Motorcycle would pose more problems though. The clutch and gear were more than she could handle. And she wasn’t even patient with it. If she could have her way, she would have driven on the highway on her very first day.  But as it happened, she got confused the first time she tried to drive on her own in an open field.

“Piyali… Clutch and brake. Clutch and brake…” Mukundo shouted, but she was nonplussed and could not act on his advice. He would not recall later what possessed him and how he pulled off the stunt he did, but he ran to her and pulled her off the motorcycle. Both of them fell, but she fell on top of him and was safely cushioned from any impact against the ground.

To be continued

Love of Ridiculous (Variation II – Part 12)

Posted 7 CommentsPosted in Chandrika-Bhumimitra, English, Original

She bowed her head down and nodded slightly, indicating that she understood.

“I cannot change what has already happened. But I will do now whatever you want. So, you tell me, what you want. If you want to go away from us, I will make arrangements.”

“Go away?” she was alarmed, “Where… where do you want to send me?”

“Oh God! You manage to infuriate me still. I don’t want to send you anywhere! You were the one who went to the extent of killing yourself to get away from me. I just want you to know that there are less fatal ways of doing that.”

“Maharaj,” she said in a quivering voice, “I may be guilty of keeping certain things from you. But whenever I have spoken, I haven’t lied. I hadn’t lied when I had told you that I love you. Death was the only way to stay away from you. If you aren’t going to grant me that, you can’t keep me away from you.”

“Chadrika!”

“I have made mistakes. I might make more in future too. Punish me for them, but not like this. Not by ignoring me like you have been doing. I beg you…”

“I wasn’t punishing you, my love,” he interrupted urgently, “I was punishing myself, for not having understood you…”

She stood up and walked to him. “I hadn’t greeted you when I came. Let me greet you the only way I am allowed to, in private.” She tip-toed to bring her lips to his level. But did not have the courage to initiate the kiss. She closed her eyes and waited for him. He smiled and obliged her with deep, long, passionate kiss.

But he looked amused when they separated, “You are an eccentric woman, Chandrika. Do you realize that this is my chamber and anyone could come here anytime?”

She blushed and downcast her eyes.

“Go to you room,” he whispered in a voice thick with desire, “I will be there tonight. I must go to the court now.”

Her face crimsoned, and she practically ran away from there, leaving his amused and amorous eye to follow her in silence.

The entire day and services of four maids had not been enough for her to get ready to her satisfaction. Giving up on alternatives, when the time of his coming approached, she applied to her sister.

“What happened?” Madhu looked curiously at the disarray Chandrika’s room was in.

“Madhu. Help me, please. I can’t figure out what he would like. You know the best.”

Madhumita raised her eyebrows and then broke into a smile. “Made up, then, eh?”

“Don’t tease me, please.”

Her jungle-trotting little sister was desperate to please her husband today. She hadn’t been so concerned on her wedding day and had demurely accepted whatever others had done for her makeup.

She looked fondly at her and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Let me get you ready,” she said and started on it right away.

Bhumimitra stopped in his tracks on spotting her in the room. She was beautiful, he had always been aware of that. Even on their wedding night, she had looked exquisite. But today it was altogether different. It took him some time to put his fingers on what was different. It wasn’t about her dress, or jewelry or makeup. It was about the glow on her face, the excitement and ease in her demeanor and the happiness radiating from her countenance. It was funny, but the only other time to which he could compare how she looked was when he had met her for the first time.

He walked up to her and she smiled shyly on seeing him.

“No greetings?” he teased her.

She didn’t reply and downcast her eyes.

“Come,” he held her and led her to the bed, “I want to talk to you. Do you remember the first time we had met?”

She nodded.

“You were wearing something ridiculous.”

She grew red with embarrassment. “I am ridiculous, then?” she tried to act pouty.

He laughed softly. “You dress was ridiculous then. But yes. You can be quite ridiculous even otherwise. If I deny that, I’d be lying.”

She pursed her lips.

“But what I was trying to tell you that you looked as beautiful then, as you are looking now. And I love you, not despite your ridiculousness, but because of it.”

She was so startled that she forgot to be shy for a moment and stared at him agape. He chuckled and she averted her eyes.

He held her hands and continued, “Because what makes you beautiful is not just how you look, though of course you look great, but also how you are in touch with nature. The nature outside, and also the one that sits deep within us. You are in touch with what is naturally good in our soul and you do not hesitate in voicing it, or demanding it. In a world that is marred by too many lies, too much deception, and too much manipulation, you may appear ridiculous and people who love you may want to protect you from it. But the fact remains that you are so beautiful because of who you are. And I am not surprised that you ignite a passion in me that no other woman has been able to do in past.”

Her lips quivered as she replied. “What you said seems like a lot of praise. I am afraid I don’t understand half of it. I doubt I deserve it.”

“That’s a part of your charm, Chandrika. But let’s not quarrel over it. Just know that I really love and respect you.”

She could not hold back her tears on hearing this.

“Why tears now?”

“Only out of happiness.”

“Yes. Be happy. Always. Don’t worry about anything. I am devoted to your and your sister’s happiness and I promise that there will always be enough for both of you and your children. And I have already promised it, but you may not know, because you were unconscious. I will not marry again…”

“Swami… I didn’t ask for anything like that…” she remembered her sister’s words from her wedding night and hastened to clarify.

“No. You didn’t. It is my decision. I don’t need anyone else. Just make sure you give me enough sons and daughters, who I can marry to worthy princesses and kings, if political needs must arise.”

She blushed hard and looked away.

“And now,” he held her chin and made her look at him, “I have waited to be greeted long enough.” She gasped as he crushed her lips with his own.

– The End –

Love of Ridiculous (Variation II – Part 11)

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in Chandrika-Bhumimitra, English, Original

Chandrika had almost recovered, except for some weakness. But she was not at ease. She spent most of her waking hours with her sister.  But Madhu had changed. She wasn’t questioning her about her suicide attempt. Even otherwise, she did not coach her about anything, or point out her mistakes. Bhumimitra was not visiting her at all, although she was aware that he stayed up to date on her condition through servants and through Madhu. He hadn’t said a word to her since she had gained consciousness. She had started wondering if all that she had heard him say on her sickbed were her hallucinations. He seemed determined to not talk to her any longer. It bothered her endlessly. But she wasn’t able to talk to even her sister about it. Madhu was pretending as if nothing was unusual about her life.

That day she was still with her sister, when he came into Madhu’s room. Did she forget to keep track of time? Or had he come earlier? She jumped up, greeted him hastily with folded hands and walked out of the room. She had walked slowly hoping that he would stop her, ask after her, or even scold her. But he didn’t say a word, and she came out disappointed. What she didn’t see, but Madhu did, was how miserably he looked after her, straining to stop himself from talking to her.

She could not help asking him, “Why are your torturing yourself like this? Why don’t you talk to her?”

“Did you tell her anything?” he asked alarmed.

“No! How can I? But can’t I see what you are doing to yourself…”

“She is scared of me, Madhu. I don’t want to…”

“But you can’t go on like this…”

He got annoyed, “If you also have a problem with my company, you can just tell me that. You don’t need to make alibis…”

“Swami!” her eyes filled with tears at the accusation.

“I’m sorry…” he immediately realized his mistake.

“If I don’t dream of or demand for things like not having rivals, it’s because I am practical. It doesn’t mean that I love you less…”

“I know,” he went to her and held her, “And I am sorry. I really am. Time passes on, Madhu. And sometimes we forget to express our appreciation of things that matter to us. A man can love in many ways. And I must tell you how much I appreciate and love you for what you are, how you have been a rock-solid support to me since you have come here, and how deftly you have managed this place. More than loving you, I respect you for all of this… I’m sorry that I never said that…”

“That’s enough, Swami,” tears were rolling down her cheeks, “You don’t need to… Everything doesn’t have to be spelled out. You are as generous and caring a husband as any woman could ever want. You asked me before marrying her. You didn’t need to…”

“And believe it or not, Madhu, Chandrika has taught me to value you even more. By caring as much for you as she does… I cannot change what has already happened and I cannot even deny the passion she evokes in me. But I promise that I will not marry again. I have already promised her…”

“Promised her? Did she ask you…”

“No.  She didn’t. But I have still promised her, when she was sick. And I fully intend to keep it.”

Words refuse to leave her throat as stared wide eyed at her husband. Had she heard it right? He drew her in an embrace.

“Chanda!” Madhumita came to her room the next day.

“Madhu! Why did you bother coming here yourself? You could have called me. Please sit.”

“Why were you crying?”

She did not pretend after this direct question. “What am I to do, Madhu? What am I alive for? I should have died. He is not even talking to me. Not even scolding…”

“Oh! My tongue is tied by his order, Chanda. But why don’t you initiate the talk then?”

“I’m so ashamed…”

“Why this ego? With him? What is the worst that can happen? He will scold you, right? Can’t you take it?”

“I might be able to take it. But when and where do I talk, Madhu? He doesn’t even come here…”

“Go to him. Go to his chamber. He would be there right now too…”

“His chamber?”

“Oh yes, my sister. You are allowed everywhere. Do go now. Don’t torture everyone. Go!”

His aide was not outside his chamber. There was no one who could announce her. Hesitatingly, she went to his door. The aide was inside and Bhumimitra was shouting at him for something. Apparently his stole was not ironed properly. Since when did he start losing temper at such small things, she wondered and gulped hard.

He fell silent when he noticed her. He dismissed his aide immediately and beckoned her to come in and sit. She gingerly sat at the edge of the bed, but stood up when she noticed that he was still standing.

“Please, sit down,” he spoke. The first words!!

Shivering for unknown reasons, she resumed her seat.

“How are you feeling?” his gentle question filled her with shame.

“I wanted to apologize,” she blurted instead of replying to his question.

Silence hung uncomfortably between them for a few moments. She did not dare look up at him.

At length he spoke, still sounding calm, “No. Don’t apologize. Just explain to me. If you felt so strongly about something, if you had such strong objection that you thought nothing of taking away your life, why did you not tell me? Hadn’t I asked you repeatedly?”

A lump formed in her throat, and it took her some time to be able to speak. “I… I felt strongly, but my ideas have always been stupid.”

“Stupid? Who said that?”

“Everyone…”

“Everyone? Who is everyone? Did I ever say so? Did I say so about anything you said or believed in?”

Startled, she looked up. He wasn’t angry, he was anguished. And she had really never thought about it this way. No, indeed! He never called her stupid or immature.

Feeling his questioning eyes on her, she shook her head.

“Chandrika. What you wanted for your sister was not stupid. It was, in fact, very noble. And to tell you the truth, she – or any other woman – wants that very much. If she doesn’t voice it, or believe that it is achievable, it is because she is burdened with her sense of responsibilities. Towards her family, towards the kingdom, towards people, towards me, and towards you.”

To be continued

Love of Ridiculous (Variation II – Part 10)

Posted 3 CommentsPosted in Chandrika-Bhumimitra, English, Original

He woke up to her labored breathing.

“Chandrika! What has happened?”

“Nothing. Just a little suffocated. I will be fine in a while.”

But he was not convinced. There was an earthen lamp still flickering in one corner of the room. He brought it to the bed despite her protests. He was horrified when he saw her face. She was in excruciating pain. “What is going on? Why didn’t you wake me up? I must send for Vaidyaraj…”

“It’s not needed, Maharaj. I am not even dressed properly.”

“Get dressed then.” He went out and dispatched a servant for the doctor.

When he came back, she was still not dressed and was not making even an attempt at it. A chill of terror ran down his spine, when he realized that she had passed out. “Chadrika!” he cried and tried to shake her into consciousness. But her body was limp. He ran out once again and dispatched a servant to call Madhumita. Coming back, he dressed her up as well as he could.  Anxious and scared, he tried doing whatever he could think of. He sprinkled water on her face, even tried to make her drink some. But nothing helped even a bit.

Madhumita came in running just then. “What happened to her?” she was  distraught. She had dressed herself hurriedly. Her clothes were in a disarray.

“I can’t figure out. I heard her breathing hard and…”

“Chanda!” she rushed beside her sister. She startled on seeing her face. She bent down and looked at her hand. The dangerous ring was missing.  “Oh no! No, no. Chanda! How could you do that? Again?”

“Do what?” Bhumimitra asked.

“She… she isn’t ill, Swami. She has tried to commit suicide. She has poisoned herself.”

“Suicide? And again you said? What is… Forget it. What is to be done? What kind of poison is it? Do you know how it is to be countered?”

“I don’t know the counter,” Madhu spoke through the tears, “But it is made out of a wild fruit… I don’t think it is found here. I am not sure Vaidyaraj would know… The vaidya at Chandranagar would have known…”

“What does the fruit look like?” he asked cautiously.

She explained it as best as she could.

“I think he knows. He had seen it and recognized it at Chandranagar. We must inform him beforehand so that he could come prepared. He might not think of poisoning… Write down about it, Madhu. Write the name and anything else you know about the fruit, and the poison. I must dispatch the information to him immediately.”

Even though questions were swarming in his head, Bhumimitra did not ask anything until the doctor had come and given anti-venoms to Chandrika. She still had pulse, but they could do nothing except wait it out. “The poison was potent,” the doctor told them. He would not pronounce the outcome one way or the other. But he emphasized that she needed to exert the willpower to live. Else her body would not be able to fight the poison effectively.

He spoke after the doctor left. “What is it? Why did she do this? And you had said ‘again’?”

Filled with guilt Madhu burst forth with confessions and apologies. Chandrika didn’t want to be a rival to her sister. But Madhu had found her objections to be childish and impractical. When she tried to commit suicide after spending the night with him, she manipulated her into marrying him instead, telling her how disgraceful it would otherwise be.

“She had tried this earlier? And you didn’t think it fit to inform me?”

“I did think she had seen the point, Maharaj. But…”

“Seen the point or not! Shouldn’t I have known what was going on under my own roof?”

“I didn’t want to disturb you with… I have brought her up, Swami. I didn’t think I would go so wrong,” she burst into sobs once again.

He softened on hearing this. “You are right. It’s my fault too… I just… She didn’t talk to me. And the one time when she was vulnerable, when I could have made her talk, I wasted on satisfying my lust…” He shot a glance at Chandrika’s lifeless face, and then left the room. He needed some time to come to terms with the situation he was in. The day he had considered the happiest of his life, what had it turned into?

When he came back after couple of hours, Madhumita was still sitting at Chandrika’s bedside.

“Madhu,” he kept his hand on her shoulders and addressed her softly, “You must take rest too.”

“I’m fine, Maharaj. I can’t leave her…”

“I will be here, I promise. If anything changes, I will inform you. Now you must leave. I don’t want you falling ill.”

She complied. Not because it was his order; but because she assumed that he wanted to be left alone with Chandrika. And she was right in that assumption.

He sat down by her side after Madhu left and held her hand in his. “Don’t die on me, Chandrika. I will do whatever you want. You want your sister’s happiness and no rivals for her? I promise I won’t marry again. You want to go away from her life? I will arrange for that. But you must fight to live, my love. You can’t die on me. That won’t do at all.”

He continued to hold her hand and gazed at her face unblinkingly, hoping to discover some sign of life. And the sign came, when she murmured. “Don’t scold her… Maharaj… Don’t scold her…”

“Chandrika!”

She continued mumbling. He realized that she wasn’t fully conscious yet. But at least she was alive! And she was asking him not to scold her sister.

“I’m not scolding her. I am not angry, Chandrika. Just stay alive. Open your eyes.”

She didn’t open her eyes until late in the morning, by when both Vaidyaraj and Madhu had come back. When she did gain consciousness and the doctor announced her to be out of danger, Bhumimitra asked Madhumita to come with him. Outside he asked her to not bother her about anything at all and only focus on her recovery. “Don’t try to make her do anything she doesn’t want to do. And do not talk about her suicide attempt at all. Pretend as if she had fallen ill and you were worried about it. You must consider this my order. I don’t want her to feel compelled to do anything. And if there is anything, anything at all out of ordinary, you must not keep it from me.” Madhu nodded. After this disaster, she wouldn’t have dared behave otherwise. “I will be in my chamber,” he informed and left.

To be continued

Love of Ridiculous (Variation I – Part 10)

Posted 7 CommentsPosted in Chandrika-Bhumimitra, English, Original

“What have you done?” Bhumimitra was trying to shake the answer out of her, “For God’s sake, tell us what you have done? Vaidyaraj would know better how to treat you then.”

“Swami. Don’t begrudge me. I gave you what I had. But it was my fate that I was to have everything, and yet nothing.”

“What are you saying, Chandrika? I… What went wrong? Did you still not want to marry me? Just…”

“Don’t make my last moments difficult with such speculations, Swami. I am going a happy woman. I had your love. What could be better? Be happy for me. I won’t try to extract any promises out of you. But just… try to keep my sister happy. And if possible, don’t tell her that I committed suicide. Tell her it was a natural death. I want to talk to her. Will you call her please?”

Perplexed, Bhumimitra sent for Madhumita. She came in practically running, her dress and hair in disarray. “Chanda!”

“Madhu. My sister. It is time to apologize for all the troubles I have caused you since childhood, and which you so patiently bore…”

“Shut up, Chanda. Nothing is going to happen to you. Vaidyaraj is here… What has happened to her?”

“I’m afraid it’s too late, Rani Madhumita,” the doctor said morosely.

“What has happened?”

The doctor looked at the king, who signaled to him that he should not reveal the truth, as Chandrika had requested.

“It was a sudden problem in some internal organ, Ma’am. I am really sorry.”

“Madhu. You must tell my nephew the stories of her mad aunt,” Chandrika put up a brave smile, “But when you have daughters, you must not tell them about me. Otherwise they will grow up to be weird like me. And there aren’t many men like him, who could fall in love with eccentric women.”

“Chanda!” Madhumita started crying, “This can’t be happening… You can’t leave me like this, my child. What have you seen of the world… Oh God!!! Where are you?”

“Don’t cry for me, Madhu. Things could have been worse. But I have everything one could wish for. A sister like you, a husband like him… I am going from a world a suhaagan. You must also be happy for me… Keep her happy, Maharaj.” She addressed her last words to her husband and then closed her eyes; never to open them again.

The palace and antahpur had a haunted look since last one month. Bhumimitra hardly managed to spend an hour in the court during the day. Madhumita was in no better shape as far as managing antahpur was concerned.  The only time either of felt cheerful was when they were with the baby prince Bhanumitra. But they could not rid themselves of the Chandrika’s memories. Madhumita had been long accustomed to her playful presence around her. But even in the little over a year she had spent at Raigarh, she had become that one person in his life who would remind him that there was happiness in simple things, who could tempt him to step away from his work and to enjoy life and its lighter moment. And she was the only one who could excite such passion in him as he had never known for any woman before.

“Madhu,” he was feeling suffocated and felt the urgency to get out of the palace, “I want to go on a ride in the jungle. Will you come with me?”

“I am not a rider like her, Swami. But I will come…” she replied even as her eyes moistened.

Bhumimitra stopped after riding for a while and tied his horse to a nearby tree. He helped Madhu do the same and then stood completely still for a while. Madhu looked at him worried.

“Swami?” her voice trembled.

Suddenly the unthinkable happened. He knelt down and burst out in sobs. He buried his face in his hands and cried loudly, something he could never have done inside the palace. Stupefied, Madhu also knelt before him. “Swami… No… You can’t… you can’t break down like this…” her own voice choked, but if she also started crying then, all hell would break lose. So, she exerted herself to utmost and didn’t cry.

“I’m the culprit, Madhu. In my obsession for her, I killed her. She didn’t want to marry me.”

“That’s not true. What gave you the idea?”

“Why else would she commit suicide the very next morning of…”

“Suicide?”

“She didn’t want me to tell you. But… I can’t go on living with this guilt any longer. I had to confess. What have I done? I can never forgive myself…”

Madhumita slumped back and was saved from falling only because of the tree trunk that supported her. Wallowing in his own guilt, Bhumimitra took some time to notice her condition.

“Madhu!” he shook her.

She looked at him with blank eyes. “Talk to me,” he persuaded.

“She… she didn’t commit suicide because she didn’t want to marry you… She did it because…”

“What? What is it? Madhu – is there something that I don’t know.”

“I killed her. I killed my sister. She committed suicide because she didn’t want to be my rival. She had already tried it once…”

“What are you talking about?”

Amidst her sobs and hiccups, she managed to tell him how she had always been sensitive about marrying her sister’s husband. She also told him about her previous suicide attempt that had been prevented in the nick of the time…

“The same day when…”

“Yes,” she confirmed that the last time she had attempted suicide was when he had spent the night with her.

“And you came asking me to marry her? Telling me that she had consented? Wasn’t I supposed to know what was going on under my own roof?”

“But she had consented, Swami. At least I thought that she realized how childish she was being. We, royal women, don’t expect our marriages to be about love, and life-long loyalty. They are political decisions and no one can stay without a rival. I know I was being selfish thinking that a loving sister was better as a rival than… But… I didn’t, really didn’t think that after getting the taste of your love, she would still be so stubborn… And you wanted her so much…”

“I wanted her… But not at this cost, Madhu. I know that you were being practical and mature. And what you say about royal marriages is all true… But… she was not a baby. How could you not respect what she felt and thought… And it was… it was such a noble thought!”

Madhu hung her head in shame. What could she say in her defense? That she had brought her up and continued considering her a baby, like parents do? It was hardly a satisfactory explanation to something that had such disastrous consequence.

“But…” he suddenly stopped his tirade, “Why am I blaming you as if you were the only one to not do the right thing by her. I fared no better. I did worse. Because I thought I understood her… I still want to think I would have understood her… And she didn’t tell me… Probably because she was afraid of me… Or probably because she didn’t think I would take her seriously… And there was one moment when she was vulnerable, when she surrendered to me despite herself… And that was the moment when I could have made her talk. But I wasted that moment in satisfying my lust. And then she agreed to marry me… Because she didn’t want to die disgraced. The disgrace brought upon her by my lust… Oh Lord!! What did I do? Why didn’t I…”

“Don’t berate yourself, Maharaj. I am the real culprit. I misunderstood everything. I kept things from you. You can punish me in whichever way you think right…”

“Who am I to punish you, or even myself, in this case, Madhu? We will all live our punishments in the form of this life. God must have willed it to be the most tragic love-story in the world. Both of us loved her. She loved both of us. We all tried to do the right thing by each other. You wanted to keep her with you, to protect her because you didn’t think she could survive in this world on her own. And you were right. She wasn’t of this world. Look at what she gave her life for. And she tried to do what she thought was right by you. And I? I loved her. The first time I met her, she was in a jungle, riding a horse and wearing God knows what… something very absurd that I couldn’t imagine any respectable woman wear. And yet, I fell for her. Not despite her eccentricity. But because of it. If I wasn’t so hopelessly in love, I’d have done better. Yes, I would have…. Oh Lord! Let’s go away from here, Madhu. This place has too much of her… Do you know she could find her way back by marking the trees… Like jungle-dwellers do… And she knew the poisonous fruits from the domesticated ones… She had saved my life once by stopping me from eating…”

“Swami!” Madhu got worried for him. Was he rambling in shock and despair? He was talking too quickly, going from one thing to the other. It was unusual for him.

He looked at her and gave a sad smile, “Yes! Let’s go back.”

“Rani Madhumita,” he addressed her when he came to her room that night, “There was only one thing that Chandrike had wished for before dying. That I should keep you happy. And I know what her idea of your happiness was. But I must know from you. Will it make you happy, if I promise not to marry again?”

Madhumita’s eyes widened. She barely managed to speak, “Swami. You don’t need to…”

“I know. You are far too practical to ask me for it. Coached by you, I think, even she did not make me promise. You don’t have to ask. You only have to answer this question for me. Will it make you happy?”

Her eyes clouded with tears and she choked. So, she replied only by nodding her head.

“Madhu. Life just passes by. We take things for granted. She taught me to not do so. I never took even a moment to appreciate you, to tell you how wonderful you have been, how deftly you have shouldered all your responsibilities here… I have never said all this, but it does not mean that I didn’t appreciate…”

“No. Stop. You don’t need to tell me. Everything doesn’t have to be spelled out. You have been as generous, loving and caring a husband as any woman would wish for. You even asked me if I was angry before marrying her. You didn’t need to… You don’t have to do anything to prove that you appreciate me. There might be situations… Politics… War…”

“I don’t need to, but I still promise. If Shri Rama Chandra could manage, I would…”

She chuckled through her tears on hearing that, “Chanda wouldn’t have accepted Shri Rama Chandra for her husband. But I can do with it…”

“Why not?”

“He didn’t stand by his wife.”

“I will do better. Just give me lots of sons and daughters, who could be married to worthy princesses and kings, if there is a need.”

She blushed and for the first time in last one month, he held her close and laid her down on the bed.

– The End –

Love of Ridiculous (Part 9)

Posted 3 CommentsPosted in Chandrika-Bhumimitra, English, Original

“Maharaj!” she was startled when he suddenly appeared before her. Then quickly bowed to him with folded hands in greeting.

“That wasn’t what you had called me the last time we met,” he said with a crooked smile.

She flushed and mumbled, “I was as good as intoxicated.”

“I should plan to keep you intoxicated all the time then. It will be worth it. And it will also keep you from infuriating me all the time.”

“What did I do now?” she asked, alarmed.

“Why did you refuse to see me?”

“I… I hadn’t refused… I had only requested…”

“That’s not what I was told.”

“Madhu must have played a prank on you,” her eyes darted around to avoid looking him in the eyes.

“You shouldn’t try to lie. I had caught your lie even when you had told me that your sister didn’t know about your jungle sojourns.”

“I didn’t want her to suffer for my waywardness.”

“Sure. But you yourself must suffer for infuriating me by refusing to meet me, right?”

“I… I don’t understand.”

“I will make you understand. When we meet in private, the way you address me, and the way you greet me, neither are acceptable.”

She looked at him quizzically.

“You must address me as if you are intoxicated,” he said, “And as for greeting…” He left the sentence unfinished and instead demonstrated it by pressing his lips against hers.

Before leaving her, he asked, “Why hadn’t you consented all this while?”

A cloud passed over her face, but she managed to smile, “It doesn’t matter now, does it?”

Sensing her reluctance to talk, he didn’t prod her further.

Madhumita cautioned her before her wedding night. “Chanda. He is head over heels in love with you. If you ask for anything, he will give it. So, don’t ask him for anything unreasonable, Chanda. No promises of not marrying again or anything like that, okay?”

She also spoke to Bhumimitra. “She is eccentric, and immature. You know that. Please don’t get offended by any of her mistakes or unreasonable demands.” Ordinarily, he would have taken offence at being coached about how to behave with his wife. But in this case, he knew that it was the worried sister talking to him, and not his other wife. So, he did not say anything, just nodded.

She was standing near the window, looking out. She turned on hearing his footsteps and smiled shyly. After catching her in the garden once, he had respected her wish of not meeting until the wedding. During the rituals, he hadn’t been able to to have a good look at her. So, it was after two months that he was seeing her face properly. There was such surge of emotion and passion in him that he felt both of them would drown in it. He took a deep breath and calmed himself down. Then he approached her and held her close. She trembled at his touch and closed her eyes. He kissed her eyelids and it gave her goosebumps that he could feel.

“I had thought,” he whispered to her, “That I will make you pay for all the tortures you have inflicted on me by making me wait. But right now, I am too impatient. Punishing you would be a punishment for myself. So, you will be spared.”

She did not open her eyes at all as he led her to the bed and settled her on it. “Look at me, Chandrika,” he said. She opened her eyes. They were moist and tears started flowing down her cheeks. “Why these tears? Are you unhappy?”

“Don’t be fooled by my tears, Swami. I love you.”

He kissed away her tears, “Then let go. There is nothing for you to worry about. Put your trust in me.”

Her breath had quickened with just his words. She could not imagine what would happen once he started working his magic on her body. But soon she was in the middle on it. Her intricately tied dupatta and carefully selected jewelry had been discarded in no time and he was kissing her all over. Overwhelming as it was to her, she realized that he was trying really hard to go slow. He gently massaged her ankles, relaxing her legs, but over-stimulating the rest of her body. He started kissing and moved upwards. By the time he reached her stomach, she was moaning aloud. Then as if to silence her, he suddenly attacked her lips and what she experienced after that was so intense that she could not have described it in words even for the life of hers. When he finally collapsed on top of her, she felt as spent as he was.

To be continued

Love of Ridiculous (Part 8)

Posted 3 CommentsPosted in Chandrika-Bhumimitra, English, Original

Before she could touch the little pouch, there was a customary knock on the door and Madhumita burst in along with the midwife, nurse and her baby. The door was open? Oh! He must have left after she slept off and could only shut it from outside. “Oh Chanda. I have been dying to show him to you. Maharaj has already seen him and he is delighted. You must see him now before anyone else does.”

Oh Lord! What was she doing? She had forgotten all about her sister and the big day. How could she think of committing suicide on this day, which was so important to Madhu? And to him because he had gotten an heir? How could she have brought gloom on the family on such an auspicious day? Her penitence must wait for a few days, at least.

She thanked her stars that fate had intervened in just the right time. Tears formed in her eyes and she extended her arms to hold her nephew. The nurse obliged her. She planted several kisses on baby’s face. So much that it started crying. Everyone laughed at that. “Aunt is far too happy. She will smother him,” the midwife teased her. Embarrassed, Chandrika returned the baby to the nurse who tried to soothe it down. Chandrika turned to her sister to congratulate her and found her gaze fixed on the armchair on which she had been sitting. Chandrika was tongue-tied. Madhumita silently lifted her sister’s hands to check for rings and her suspicion was confirmed.  Without any hint of panic or anger in her voice, she told the nurse to take the baby to the nursery, where she would join them in a while. “You can start preparation for bathing him,” she said and dismissed both the nurse and midwife.

Under her sister’s penetrating gaze, Chandrika could not hide anything. “Maharaj was here last night, Madhu. I don’t know what to say in my defense…” she sobbed.

“Chanda. The first thing you must understand,” Madhu said as she fitted the stone back in the ring, “Is that this ring is for embracing a graceful death. If you die now, it won’t be graceful. It would be a death of shame.” She put the ring back on her finger.

“There can no longer be anything graceful about either my life, or my death now, Madhu. I have betrayed my own sister.”

“Oh sweetheart. I don’t deny that sometimes life may pose impossible questions before us. But this is as solvable a problem as there ever was. He will marry you, and everything will be all right.”

“No!!” she sobbed even harder.

“If he came here at night, Chanda, it was because he loves you. And don’t try to deny that you have feelings for him as well. Tell me, did he force you?”

“I wish I could say that, Madhu. But I am myself to blame…”

“Then stop blaming and start preparing for your wedding. I am going to talk to him right away.”

“Madhu…”

“My sister. I know what you are worried about. That you will become my rival. But listen to me very carefully.  I cannot avoid a rival all my life. I may give him ten heirs, but that will not guarantee me his unwavering affection. And if he has to have this affection for someone else, am I not better off when it is for my own sister, who is so devoted to me, rather than for some unknown woman who might actually wish me and my children evil?”

The logic was not satisfactory for Chandrika. But what did make an impression on her was the question of disgrace that her sister had brought up. If she didn’t marry him, she will live and die in disgrace. That cannot be acceptable for anyone. She had to resign to what Madhu wanted.

“Swami,” Madhumita addressed her husband when he came to her room, “The conversation I am about to have might seem inappropriate, but I hope you will excuse me. Given that it involves my sister, whom I have brought up like a daughter, I had to know.”

Bhumimitra stopped in her tracks and looked at her quizzically.

“I am given to understand that the reason for your delight today is not just your son, but also conquering your love,” she added.

He wondered if she was being sarcastic and searched her face for signs. But there was only good-natured smile on it. He nodded slightly in response.

“You must marry her at the earliest.”

“You don’t have to coerce me to do that, Madhu. I only need her consent, which I have been unable to get till now.”

“You have it now.”

“Really?”

“You can thank me for it.”

A barely perceptible smile formed on his lips.

“If I have your permission, I’d call the astrologer to fix the dates and inform my father.”

He just nodded and made to leave. He turned at the door and asked her, “Are you angry with me?”

“No. I am very happy for my sister. Nothing better could have happened to her.”

Bhumimitra didn’t find her in the courtyard at the appointed time of their sword-fighting practice.

“I will check for her,” Madhumita said and went to her room herself, instead of sending a maid. She came back grinning after a while. “She wouldn’t see you until the wedding.”

“What? Why?” he was annoyed.

“Well… Maharaj. Most brides don’t see their grooms until the wedding. You too have to grant her that privacy.”

He groaned and went back to his room looking surly. This woman just knew how to drive him mad. But he would also accept the challenge. He would meet her come what may.

He ignored bulk of court work over next two days to keep an eye on her routine. Finally he caught her in the garden in the afternoon.

To be continued

Love of Ridiculous (Part 7)

Posted 10 CommentsPosted in Chandrika-Bhumimitra, English, Original

What could she have told him? She knew her heart very well. If there were any doubts at all, those had vanished when he had invited her to ride in the jungle. She was in love with this man. But how could she have told him that she did not want to marry him because she did not want to be a rival to her sister. Her own sister did not understand her sentiment, thinking it was her naiveté. How could he be expected to understand it? And she didn’t mind being made fun of by her sister. But she wouldn’t be able to tolerate being ridiculed by him. What was she to do?

For now, she had to obey him. She let the maids dress her and joined her sister for lunch. She also waited for him in the courtyard and took sword-fighting lessons from him. Despite initial awkwardness, she started enjoying the lessons and practice. And she did not hide her pleasure from him. It became part of their routine. Every alternate day, he practiced with her.

Madhumita had delivered a baby boy that morning. There had been some scare in the beginning as the midwife had declared both mother and son to be in danger. But Vaidyaraj had brought the situation under control. The mother and the baby were still in the delivery room under observation. The announcement would be made only the next morning. The night was hot and stuffy and Bhumimitra was unable to sleep. He was keen on seeing his son, but Vaidyaraj had not allowed it yet. Feeling restless, he went to the garden and paced there. Faint light of a lamp filtering through a window caught his attention after a while. Who could be awake at this time? He walked towards the light and found himself standing at the window of Chandrika’s room. Unable to hold back his curiosity, he glanced through the window. She was painting. What was she painting? He squinted his eyes to focus. What he saw took his breath away. He would have to confront her. Right away.

He went inside the antahpur, straight to her room. Her maids were asleep. He tried the door. It was not bolted. He didn’t give a damn about the proprieties of knocking or informing about his arrival at that time. He flung the door open and found himself face to face with her. Her surprise was so great that she stood still like a statue for a while. He bolted the door from inside meanwhile. When she came to herself, her first thought was not to greet him, but to find something to cover her canvas.

“Let it be,” his deep voice boomed in the stillness of night, “I have seen it already.” She had been painting his portrait.

She gasped and the brush fell from her hands. He went closer and held her by shoulders.

“You shouldn’t be here, Maharaj, at this hour,” she objected in a trembling voice.

“This is my palace and I can be anywhere I want, Chandrika,” he drew her even closer and could feel her breath growing uneven, “I have always known that your heart has no objection. Stop me today if you have any.” He engulfed her body in a tight, passionate embrace. Her heart pounded so hard and her breathing was so labored that she felt giddy. She had to hold him to support herself. And once she did that, she lost all her ability to think.  She could feel though, and feel a little too much. She could feel where his hands were roaming over her body, and how she was feeling the heat of burning coal and chill of frozen ice at the same time at those places. She was unusually aware of her breath and her heartbeats. And of the electric current running through her spine. Spine? Who had ever been aware of spine? But she was, at that moment. She tried to open her eyes. Everything was blurry. She was on her bed for sure, but her body was alien to her. It was feeling and doing things she had never known before. This could not be real. Yes – it wasn’t real. She was either intoxicated. Or she was sleeping and dreaming of him. It had happened so often recently. It was just a more powerful dream. Nothing untoward will happen with anything she did. And so, as she had often done in her sleep, she addressed him like she did only in her dreams. “Priya!” Beloved. That made things even better. His nails dig deeper into her skin, and his kissed grew more urgent , more demanding. She was tempted. She could die to live this high. “Priya!” she called again. And the result did not disappoint her.

She stretched languorously on waking up. She had woken up earlier than usual, but still felt well-rested. She sat up and quickly did her morning prayer. Her eyes fell on her canvas as she made to get down from the bed. And with that the memories of last night came crashing over her. She slumped back on the bed as she remembered every bit of what had happened. Then she got up with mad urgency. She covered the canvas and hid it in one corner of the room. She wondered if there would be enough water in the bathroom for her to clean herself up without summoning the maid. She checked and managed with whatever was available. She rubbed her hands and face mercilessly. She smoothened the bedsheet and then suddenly her frenzy died. What was she trying to achieve? Removing the signs won’t undo the deed. She had destroyed it all. She had destroyed herself and betrayed her sister. And how would she ever face him again after this?

She moved from the bed to a rocking armchair. She sat there immobile for more than an hour. Then she looked at her hands. The ring on one of them had the solution to her dilemma. One ring that had a pinch of potent poison in it. Royal women always wore one such ring. To protect their dignity when it came to the worst, they would use this poison to kill themselves. The time had come for her. She took off  the ring and carefully pulled out the stone from it.

To be continued