Mish' Fiction

He came to his senses slowly and let her go. By the time she could see him, the split second expression of realization and embarrassment on his face was wiped off. Tears had betrayed him and he tried to wipe them discreetly. But it wasn’t possible to hide them.

“I… I’m sorry. I got carried away. This was a first. She has never called me ‘Papa’. She has never uttered that word in her life,” he explained.

“Really?” That brought Rupali out of her reverie.

“Yes. I… I will never forget this day, Rupali. Thank you. For everything.”

Rupali didn’t know what to say.

“Mamma…. Mamma…” They couldn’t be sure what Meenal was thinking at that moment. But her coming to Rupali at that time with those words was both cute and awkward at the same time.

“Excuse me. I will be back in a minute,” his eyes were filled with tears again and he did not want to break down before them. Rupali understood that. The weather was good. She took Meenal with her and decided to take a walk. She walked by the utility area and something that had been bugging her at the back of her mind surfaced up. The washing machine installed there was new! She realized what had made her uncomfortable about the washing-machine at her home, apart from the unbelievable story. That machine had looked familiar. Why didn’t she realize this earlier? The machine had not come from some club. It had come from Dr. Khanna. What the hell? What was she supposed to do?

She decided to confront Soumitra first. That evening itself.

“You lied to me?” she was livid, “Why would you do something so stupid? Do you have any idea how much does a machine like this cost?”

“Listen to me, Didi. I didn’t tell you that Dr. Khanna was involved, because I thought you would not accept it then. But he did tell me that it was a part of the drive from his club and I did repair it.”

“What club? When does he ever go to a club, you fool? He goes to the college and comes back home as soon as he can. And this machine was at his home. I was a bigger fool to have not realized this. It is going back tomorrow. And don’t do such things in future.”

Soumitra didn’t remember ever having been scolded by his sister like that. He burst into tears. That made Rupali forget her fury for a while. “Look here. Now, don’t cry. I am sorry, I shouldn’t have scolded you like that…”

“I’m sorry. I… I knew that story can’t be true. But it was… You have to go for both your jobs on the weekends also. This is so helpful… I gave into the temptation.”

“I know. I know you did it for me. Unfortunately that doesn’t make it right. But there is nothing to worry about. Now that I am sure, I will talk to Dr. Khanna and return the machine.”

—

It wasn’t the first time Paritosh was thinking about her as he tossed and turned in the bed. She had been in his thoughts ever since Meenal had spotted her in the supermarket. He hadn’t expected that anything would come out of it. She was just a young girl they had run into by accident. Meenal had identified with her out of a sheer coincidence. She looked like that actress, the actress playing the mother to her favorite character. Despite that, he had thought about her. He didn’t have much hope even when Meher mentioned the possibility of her becoming Meenal’s caretaker. She needed a job, alright. But what were the chances that she would be patient enough to take care of an autistic child? Slim at best! But he had thought about her that night too; thinking of the conversation that was to happen the following day. In his thoughts it always resulted in her throwing up her hands and walking away. She couldn’t possibly do it.

But it hadn’t happened that way. He should have probed a bit more, but seeing Meenal call her “Mamma” again, he took a spontaneous decision. It couldn’t be particularly risky. Meher knew her pretty well. At the very least, no harm would come out of it. He would probably get a call within minutes of leaving Meenal with her and she would walk out.

But that hadn’t happened either. He had waited for her call on the first day. It hadn’t come. He had been frightened when he had come back, but that too had turned out to be a minor issue; one of the numerous that she had figured out since then.

What did happen was that she had been ahead of him in anticipating and fulfilling his daughter’s needs. She had started teaching her before he could zero in on a therapist or tutor. She had come up with the schooling plan. She was working harder than the therapist on Meenal. And she had taught her the word that he had lost all hopes of ever hearing from her. Papa! Tears still came to his eyes, when he recalled what he had heard that evening. “Meenu loves Papa.” He didn’t need to record that voice to remember it forever!

What she had done for his daughter evoked a lot of gratitude in him. But what had made him admire her thoroughly was what she was doing for her brothers. After coming back from her house on the fateful day of firing her, he had looked up the biodata she had given. If his calculations were correct, her parents had died when she was eighteen and that’s when she had dropped out of college after first year; to take care of her brothers and earn for them. It was no mean feat. Without even a college degree. She had taken up all sorts of jobs, as her biodata reflected. And still, she had done a fine job of raising her brothers. They seemed responsible, bright, young boys.

He couldn’t help compare her to Amrit. Two people couldn’t have been more different. Ruapli wasn’t a thing of beauty. Her complexion was on the darker side. The hard work and stress of all these years had worn down even her youthful appearance prematurely. She didn’t have education; or an elite upbringing. She counted her pennies. But at this stage of life Paritosh knew something about life that he hadn’t known when he had met Amrit. He knew that love and compatibility was not about whether they liked the same restaurants, same music and same holiday destinations. It wasn’t about looking good together. It was about sticking together, through thick and thin.

He wasn’t surprised that he had fallen for her. When he had hugged her that evening, it was because he had been overwhelmed. It was almost a substitute for the hug he couldn’t have given to his daughter. But he wasn’t surprised that it had turned into something else. She had probably felt it too, as her flushed face indicated.

It wasn’t the surprise that was keeping him awake. It was the thought of what to do about it? Or rather how to ensure that he never ended up expressing his feelings again?

—

To be continued

Principal of the school agreed to let her write the exams. Paritosh would pay the regular hefty fee of the school, even though Meenal was not to attend the classes. Tutoring was to be the individual decisions of teachers. As far as the school was concerned, they were allowed to give tuitions outside the school; and charge for it.

“You would pay the entire fee?” Rupali was shocked to hear that.

He shrugged. “I wasn’t in a bargaining position.”

“It probably wasn’t a good idea,” Rupali felt guilty about coming up with an idea that would result in such absurd expenses. He would also be paying for therapists and tutors.

“Rupali,” Paritosh spoke impatiently, “We all deal with our individual constraints. Thankfully, where my daughter is concerned, money is not my constraint.”

She felt foolish. He was right. Money was not a constraint for him. Why was she judging his situation in the context of her problems? He probably felt offended that she brought the concern of money in between at all.

“Right. Sorry. I didn’t mean that you would compromise on Meenal’s wellbeing.”

Paritosh closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he realized that he might have inadvertently hurt her. “No. I am sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean that you would suggest that either.”

Rupali couldn’t help smiling, “I guess we can leave it at that.”

“And I will let you decide which subjects we should get tutors for. I will talk to the teachers.”

“Yes Sir.”

—

“Soumitra. This might be of interest to you,” Paritosh told him on a Saturday, when Rupali was not around.

“What?”

“You are interested in machines, gadgets etc. right?”

“I am.”

“My club is running a reuse-recycle drive. People are giving away household appliances, gadgets etc. that are likely to have a minor flaw. Whosoever can repair them is free to take them. For himself, or for resale.”

“Why would anyone give away things that have minor flaw?” Soumitra was not satisfied.

“They might want to buy newer stuff. Happens a lot of times.”

“Hmm…”

“Anyway. What I wanted to ask you is if you would be interested trying to repair a washing machine. Basically members are expected to participate in the drive by giving things away as well as finding people who would repair them and take them. Somebody has saddled me with a washing machine. I can’t think of too many people who would be able to make any sense of the machines. You want to try?”

“That’s weird. I didn’t know such things happened. Else I’d never have Didi buy anything for home.”

Paritosh chuckled. “What else are you interested in? Let me know, and I will see if someone is giving it away.”

“That list would be endless, Dr. Khanna. Where is this washing machine you are talking about?”

“It’s lying in the back yard. Let’s go and check it out. And I have an idea. Let’s keep it a secret from Rupali. Once you have fixed it, I’ll send it to your home. Then you can surprise her.”

“Fantastic idea,” Sugata, who had been a silent listener till now, said excitedly.

“Calm down. Let’s see if I can fix it at all,” Soumitra cautioned him.

“Don’t worry,” Paritosh smiled, “If you can’t, we can always call a mechanic. I just thought you would enjoy it. That’s why didn’t do it already. Your sister will have her surprise!”

—

“Reduce-recycle drive at some club? And you could take away whatever you could repair?” Rupali was unable to make any sense of what Soumitra and Sugata were telling her about the washing machine.

“Yes.”

“And how did you get to know about it?”

“They had come to our school,” Soumitra lied. He already had Sugata in his plan.

“And you repaired a washing machine? Not a phone, an i-pod, or something else that you wanted?”

“This is what I could repair. And it will be helpful, right? You won’t have to wake up at six on Saturdays to wash clothes.”

“Is there something you are not telling me?”

“Oh Didi! Why are you being so skeptical? We haven’t stolen it. Police is not going to come to our doors. Now, can you please be a little happy? It is a useful thing, isn’t it?”

“Yes. It is. I am sorry, I was asking unnecessary questions. Thanks a lot Soumitra,” she didn’t want to offend her brothers. But something was bothering her. The story was too fantastic to be true.

—

Paritosh noticed Rupali hurriedly indicating something to Meenal, when she noticed him coming in. Then she stepped away and smiled at him as usual. Curious, he went to his daughter and kneeled to face her.

“Good evening, Meenu,” he greeted her as usual.

“Good evening, Meenu,” she said without looking at him. He made to get up and go to his room to freshen up. Rupali was disappointed. Her surprise was not going to work! But it did. Before Paritosh had moved away, Meenal said, “Meenu loves Papa.”

Paritosh froze in surprise and disbelief. His face showed no expressions at all. At length he looked at Rupali and asked, “What did she say?”

Rupali had been working hard with Meenal to improve her communication using the techniques therapist had told her about. But his reaction almost frightened her. Did something go wrong? What could have? She stood there tongue-tied.

Meenal spoke again, “Meenu loves Papa.”

There was no uncertainty now. Paritosh was overwhelmed. He instinctively made to hug Meenal; then stopped himself. He could not spoil this moment by upsetting her. He stood up and made no attempts to hide how emotional he was.

“Thank you,” he said choking on his words. And then he could not restrain himself. He went ahead and hugged Rupali.

At first she was shocked at his action. Then as she got a hold of how she was reacting to his proximity, her own reaction surprised her. Gosh! She could stay like this forever. She closed her eyes. What had happened to her? When had she started feeling this way… And what was happening right now? Had she put her own arms around him too? And was his grip tightening around her? More than how just a friendly, emotional hug should be?

—

To be continued

When Meenal woke up and was fed, Rupali decided to try and see if she liked the idea of water and swimming pool. She had read up about many autistic children enjoying swimming. She also wanted to check up on Sugata and Soumitra.

The sight she witnessed at the pool warmed her heart. Paritosh was enthusiastically teaching Soumitra and Sugata. They laughed when either of them did something stupid and Paritosh laughed with them.  And open, loud, heart-felt laughter.

“Meenu. Water. Meenu. Water,” Meenal’s voice drew her attention. Rupali was carrying her in her arms. She was pushing down, indicating that she wanted to get down and go in the water. Rupali let her walk while holding her hands and went closer to the pool.

“Dr. Khanna.”

Paritosh panicked for a bit when he looked at them. Was it safe to have Meenal near the pool? But he saw Rupali holding her hands tightly, and relaxed.

“She seems to like the idea of going in the water. Have you tried to take her to pool earlier?”

“No. I haven’t. I wasn’t sure.”

“There are floatation devices; do you have one?”

“Are you sure it is safe?”

“I have read about it, Sir. And you are here. If she doesn’t like it or can’t handle it, we will take her out immediately.”

“Meenu. Water. Meenu. Water,” Meenal tugged at her hands. She definitely wanted to go in.

“Hold her for a while. I will find a lifebuoy we had bought for a friend’s son. I will need to test it.”

Rupali gasped when Paritosh came out of the water wearing only his swimming costume. He had strong, muscular, shapely body. Did he swim regularly? What was he doing being a professor? He should have been an actor, or a model.

She averted her eyes quickly, hoping that her goose bumps didn’t show and a blush did not visibly creep on her cheeks.

When Paritosh came back with the device, he saw Rupali and Meenal sitting on the edge of the pool, with their feet in the water. Meenal was splashing water with her little limbs and obviously enjoying it.

Meenal was on cloud nine when she was put in water with a lifebuoy. She showed no fear. She wasn’t bothered with strangers. Paritosh continued teaching Sugata and Soumitra while keeping an eye on Meenal. The small gathering in water looked perfectly harmonious.

—

“You have turned her into a devil,” Paritosh said good-humouredly when she reached there the next day. It was a Sunday and Soumitra and Sugata were accompanying her again as Paritosh had requested.

“What happened?”

“She was in the pool for full two hours this morning. She loves the water.”

Rupali smiled and stretched her hands for Meenal. She came to her as usual and held her hands.

“And how are our young swimmers doing?” he asked about Soumitra and Sugata.

“Going ooh-aah-ouch with body pain,” Rupali chuckled, “So much for swimming!”

“Don’t be dissuaded by that. With regular practice that would go away.”

“See. I had told you,” Sugata told Rupali in a challenging tone.

Everyone laughed.

Them spending the weekend at Paritosh’ place became a routine.

—

It was the last day of the month. Paritosh left a cheque for her before leaving for university. She opened the envelope after he left and was surprised to find that the cheque was for twenty thousand rupees.

“Dr. Khanna. There has been some mistake,” she told him when he came back in the evening, “This cheque is for twenty thousand. We had decided only for…”

“No. That’s fine. There is no mistake,” he walked off signaling the end of the discussion.

Rupali wasn’t sure whether to be happy or be worried about it. Extra money would obviously be of great help. He might have given it because he was happy with her work. But what if… what if he was just being charitable given her tough situation. But talking further about it would be uncomfortable for both of them. She kept the cheque in her purse. He came back after washing his hands and went to Meenal.

“I had to show you something,” Rupali said.

“Yeah?”

She handed him two exercise books. One was for Maths and other for drawing. Paritosh was surprised to see the content.

“Who has…”

“Meenal did. She is making great progress with drawing and Maths.”

“You have been teaching her? Who got her these books?”

“I thought of trying. Picked these up from the stationary shop. They are the regular children’s exercise books.”

“She has made these drawings?” Paritosh could not believe it.

“Yes Sir. Her observation is very sharp. She doesn’t miss a thing. Hand-eye coordination is also excellent.”

“And these sums? And multiplication?”

“She progressed very fast. It has hardly been two weeks since I brought these books. I thought I’d tell you after she had made some progress. I didn’t think it would happen so soon. Sir, what have you thought about her schooling?”

He sighed sadly, “I know the principal of Greenwood International School. I spoke to him about it. He politely told me to put her in some special school.”

“But she doesn’t need that…”

“As much as I resent it, I understand his point of view. Their teachers are not trained to take care of children with special needs. She would probably be left out. And yet I can’t put her in… I was thinking of homeschooling. And also of hiring a therapist.”

“But in this country we need certificates and…”

“I don’t know yet…”

“Can I suggest something…” an idea suddenly struck her.

“Go ahead.”

“Can you talk to the principal to see if they would let her take the exams. They don’t need to let her attend the school. Just let us have access to the syllabus and books they use. And if I could talk to the teachers once in a while about what needs to be taught, that would be great…”

Paritosh thought about it for a few moments; then asked her, “You really think that would work?”

“I am thinking aloud, Dr. Khanna. There would be issues, of course. While she made dramatic progress in Maths, English and Hindi have been a challenge with her. I haven’t tried other things yet. But then all kids are good in some subjects and weak in others. It is worth trying. And if you were thinking of homeschooling, you could hire tutors for the subjects she has problems in. Probably teachers of the same school if they agree…”

“Let me think it over,” he said.

“Sure Sir.”

“And… thanks a lot. For these,” he pointed at the exercise books, “You have no idea how much they have bolstered by confidence.”

“No need to thank me, Sir. It’s her own doing. I am only doing my job.”

“If you say so…” he smiled and didn’t argue. She wasn’t just doing her job. Her job was only to keep her safe. She had gone far, far ahead. He wasn’t complaining!

“Irrespective of schooling, if you find a suitable therapist, it would definitely help.”

“I have spoken to someone recently. She might come here for couple of hours every day.”

“Okay.”

—

To be continued

Paritosh lingered around for a while when Rupali reached there the next day. Usually he set out immediately. Was he looking out for her or for Meenal, Rupali wondered. He made some small talk; asked about her job at the pharmacy.

“It’s quite mindless, but it pays,” she replied with a smile, “Thankfully not many people had any emergency last night. Not much business.”

He chuckled slightly at that. That was a first too! After the smile last evening… And he looked good when he did that. His features softened, his eyes smiled. It was difficult to fathom that this man could have just walked in yesterday and fired her ruthlessly. Was something the matter?

He came back early in the evening too. Half an hour earlier than usual. He had called up the cook on his way and asked her to come earlier. “She will make tea,” he informed her, “Have some before leaving.” He was really trying hard to make up for his behavior yesterday.

“I never got to ask,” she decided to face the issue head on over tea, “Why had you come back in the afternoon yesterday?” His face clouded. She figured she might have asked something she shouldn’t have. “You don’t have to answer,” she added in a small voice.

“No. That’s fine,” he gathered himself together, “You deserve an explanation, even if it is inadequate.” She looked up at him questioningly.  He continued, “It was Amrit’s, Meenal’s mother’s, death anniversary.”

“Ohh!” He must have been upset. “I… I am sorry.” But why was there no puja, no rituals that the occasion demanded? Did he not believe in them? But even non-believers didn’t usually skip some bare minimum rituals?

“We had been trying for a baby for a long time before Meenal was born. When she was about two-years old, her symptoms became difficult to ignore. Amrit was severely disappointed when the diagnosis came. She could never accept Meenal’s condition,” Paritosh went on talking, “People, especially relatives, are not always kind in their remarks. And Amrit could not ignore them. I tried my best, but… She couldn’t stand being taunted for giving birth to a retarded girl.”

“Meenal is not retarded,” Rupali could not help interrupting.

“No. She is not. But abandoning her wouldn’t be justified even if she were. Amrit committed suicide. She left her daughter. Social stigma became more important for her than her little girl. I will never be able to forgive her.”

That explained why he didn’t want to do anything in her memory. Rupali had nothing to say. She stayed silent.

“She had overdosed on sleeping pills. Doctor had prescribed them because of her depression. I would have thought it was an accident, but there was a suicide note too. When I came home that day, I found Meenal playing at her side. She looked asleep. But she was dead.”

Damn! That explained his reaction to her sleeping yesterday. “You were reminded of that when you saw me sleeping yesterday?” she asked.

He nodded. “It was unfair. But… I don’t know what had come upon me.”

“Try not to be so hard on yourself, Dr. Khanna. Life is not kind to us. If we also treated ourselves ruthlessly, we won’t survive.”

He looked at her appreciatively. “You’d survive it. You have learned life’s lessons well.” The smile that he gave after that affected her  – she felt a knot in the pit of her stomach, and a quickening of heartbeat.

“I need to leave now, Dr. Khanna. Take care.”

“You too. Bye!”

—

“Rupali,” at some point of time he had switched to calling her by her name instead of ‘Ms. Banerjee’. Rupali didn’t remember when that happened, but this felt more natural. “About tomorrow…” It was a Friday. The weekends were here again.

“I will come, Sir. No problem.” Sugata and Soumitra had accepted it, even if grudgingly. She had promised that she’d try to get a day off from Pharmacy.

“Your brothers… They don’t have school tomorrow, right?”

“No.”

“They could come with you. That way you’d get to spend time with them too. And they could bring their books or whatever they need, if they have to study or finish some other work.”

“That’s… That’s a very kind offer, Sir. But too many people may disturb Meenal and…”

“There is only one thing we do not lack here. Space,” he looked around sadly, “They can have one of the guest rooms to themselves. And there are the lawns, the swimming pool. At how many places would Meenu be at any time?”

“I… I will check with them…”

“If you want I can speak to them.”

She chucked slightly, “It’s okay, Sir. They won’t need a formal invitation if they want to come.”

“And don’t bother with cooking. I’ll have breakfast and lunch cooked here.”

“Sir…”

“Please. I insist.”

She nodded looking uncomfortable.

“And Rupali…”

“Yes Sir?”

He had remembered the heap of unwashed clothes. He thought of asking her to bring them over as well and they will get washed in the machine. But she already was already uncomfortable with him trying to make things easier. So, he decided against saying anything about it.

“Nothing. Just… Thanks for accommodating and do try to convince your brothers to come.”

“Yes Sir.”

—

“Why should we go there? We have our own home.” Sugata was at his rebellious best again. But Rupali had sensed that he was curious and wanted to come.

“Well. One reason is that he has a swimming pool at his house,” Soumitra said while suppressing a smile.

“Swimming pool?” That got him Sugata’s attention.

“How do you know about the swimming pool?” Rupali was surprised. She hadn’t noticed it herself. She didn’t know of its existence until he mentioned it to her that evening.

“They were cleaning it the day I had gone there. I just asked casually.”

“Fine. Both of you are coming. Make sure to pack your books though; not swimming dreams. I am not asking him for access to swimming pool. And no one is there to teach you.”

“I know how to swim,” Sugata protested loudly.

Soumitra looked at him skeptically with arched brows. “A little at least,” he added in a small voice drawing a chuckle from his brother and sister.

“Books! Remember to pack your books. Exams are barely a month away.”

—

“Who wants to go swimming?”

Meenal was taking a nap and Rupali was with her brothers in one of the guestrooms, when Paritosh walked in. He must have overheard them.

“No… Nobody Sir,” Rupali stammered. He had been too indulging recently and she didn’t want any more of it. It was uncomfortable. And they shouldn’t get used to it.

“Do either of you swim?” Paritosh ignored her and asked her brothers directly.

“I do…  A little,” Sugata replied despite Rupali’s earlier admonitions. He was eager to get his hands on a pool.

“How about you, Soumitra?”

“No. I have never been in a pool.”

“And even Sugata doesn’t know it too well, Dr. Khanna,” Rupali spoke again.

“Don’t be so afraid, Rupali. They are big boys. The pool is shallow. They can easily stand in it. They won’t drown, even if they try. Come, let’s go.”

Soumitra looked at Rupali for approval. But she was too confused to give him any signals. Sugata meanwhile jumped out of chair he was sitting in and got ready to go. Rupali did not have the heart to check his excitement at this point. She shrugged with a smile. They went off.

—

To be continued

She had been tired. She had not been able to catch up on her sleep over the weekend. She could not get enough last night either. Sugata’s band had gotten their first break. They were performing at a club. Having already missed on his cricket match, she didn’t want to disappoint him again. After leaving Paritosh’ house and before starting her night shift at the pharmacy, she had gone to the club to see the performance. This was the time when she usually slept for about three hours.

So, when Meenal slept in the afternoon, she found it difficult to keep herself awake. She hadn’t been planning on sleeping, but had set the alarm just in case… She did end up falling asleep. As luck would have it, Paritosh returned too early, in the afternoon itself for some reason.  And although Meenal wasn’t affected, he went berserk.

Now the job was gone. There was no point in mourning it. She might as well listen to the needs of her body and get a good sleep. That’s what she did when she reached home.

But fate wasn’t going to be kind to her. Hardly two hours had passed, when the bell rung. Sugata and Soumitra couldn’t be back yet. They went to tuition or to play straight after the school and came back only by seven in the evening. Then too, they used their own keys to get in, so as to not disturb a sleeping Rupali.

—

She was taken aback to see Paritosh with Meenal at the door and did not hide her surprise. She was too sleepy to exercise much control over her reactions.

“Mamma… Mamma…” Meenal rocked and held her hand. Rupali stood there looking dumbfounded.

Paritosh noticed her red eyes and realized he had woken her up from deep sleep. He flushed in embarrassment and rubbed his forehead. “I… I don’t know what to explain. She, herself, is explanation enough. She hasn’t stopped asking for you since you left. I’m sorry for how I behaved. It was… I was being a jerk.  Please don’t punish her for that…”

Rupali was still looking from Paritosh to Meenal and back, and was not awake enough to make up her mind. “You are too surprised and sleepy,” Paritosh realized her condition and said, “If she comes in with you, could you please take her. You can sleep. Just let her be around. For one hour. After five she would be fine. I can wait in the car.”

“Okay,” she mumbled and made to go in. Meenal willingly followed her. Then she suddenly realized the absurdity of him waiting in the car. “Wait. Dr. Khanna,” she called him back, “Please come in and wait inside. Why should you wait in the car? I am so sleepy, I am behaving like an idiot.”

For the first time, she saw him smile. An embarrassed, but genuine smile. “It’s okay,” he said and came in. It was a one-bedroom house, with a small hall, part of which was converted to a kitchen. Two cots were lying in the hall. Books and some other usual teenage possessions were fitted in two old steel cupboards and on a simple wooden table.  There was one wooden chair and no other furniture in the hall. One corner had a mattress lying on the floor. Clothes were heaped up on the mattress; most likely the unwashed ones, waiting for the weekend. Gathered up for two weeks? He wondered, because he had taken up her weekend as well.

Rupali didn’t notice his close scrutiny. “Shall I get your some tea or coffee, Sir?” she asked.

“No. I am fine. Please go ahead and sleep.”

It must be her sleepy state of mind that Rupali picked Meenal up without any warning. Paritosh got worried. He was about to stop her, but realized that Meenal wasn’t protesting. He wordlessly watched them disappear in the bedroom. He wasn’t quite able to figure out how he felt. He slumped on the chair and started fiddling with his phone.

—

“Mamma… Mamma…” Paritosh heard Meenal’s soft voice coming from the bedroom. It was five. She was probably waking Rupali up. Should he go in and bring her away? But how could he enter the bedroom? Before he could resolve his dilemma, Rupali came out with Meenal walking by her toes and holding her hand.

“She woke you up,” Paritosh said apologetically.

“That’s fine. I was planning to wake up anyway. I will sleep at my usual time now.”

“You hadn’t had enough sleep last night?”

“No.”

“Why? Were you unwell?”

“No,” she replied and paused for a moment. He would want to know the reason. He didn’t know about her night-job. Should she tell him? What was there to lose now? At worst, he won’t reverse his decision of firing her. She might as well tell him. “I do the night-shift at a 24-hours pharmacy. I usually sleep between six to nine in the evening. But last night, my brother’s band was performing. For the first time. So, I had to go. I had already missed the cricket match last Saturday.”

“You work two jobs?” he was surprised.

She nodded.

“To support your brother?”

“To take care of them,” she didn’t like the word ‘support’. That sounded like an unwanted responsibility.

“Them? How many brothers do you have?” Paritosh had seen only Soumitra and had assumed that he was the only one.

“Two. They are twins.”

“Your parents?”

“They are dead.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It has been six years.”

“Oh!” He hadn’t realized the extent of her responsibilities. When she had said that she had taken care of her brothers, he had assumed that she would have helped her mother. “I didn’t realize your parents… Did you have no relatives you could stay with?”

“Both my grandparents were dead by then. My mother was the only child and my father didn’t have good relationship with his brothers.”

Paritosh looked away uncomfortably. He shouldn’t have behaved that way with her earlier. Rupali decided to change the topic to put him out of misery. “I will make some tea.”

“No! I have already troubled you too much today…”

“I’m going to make some for myself anyway, Sir. Please…”

“Okay.”

“Meenal would need her biscuits. I am afraid I don’t have that brand at home…”

“Oh! I am carrying those. I will get them from the car. Meenu. Come with me,” he took her with him so that Rupali could go to the kitchen.

“You will come tomorrow, I hope,” Paritosh said hesitatingly as he sipped tea after feeding biscuits to Meenal.

“I do need the job, Dr. Khanna,” Rupali replied in a low voice, “And I do like her. Very much.”

“Thanks. I had over-reacted today,” he was relieved.

“I shouldn’t have slept. It won’t happen again.”

“Just let me know if you do need rest. I will try to come early.”

This concern and cooperation was in stark contrast to his behavior of just a few hours earlier. It was confusing for Rupali. “It’s fine, Sir. I will manage,” she said.

“Didi!” Soumitra entered excitedly just then, “I won the debate competition and…” He hesitated and fell silent as he saw Paritosh there.

“Hello Soumitra,” Paritosh greeted him, “And congratulations.”

“Thanks Dr. Khanna. Didi. This is for you,” he handed her an envelope.

“What is this?”

“The prize. They had cash prizes.”

“You keep it, Soumitra…”

“No. This is for you. Sugata has gone to play cricket,” he changed the topic, “I have to study for a mock test tomorrow. I will be in the room.”

“Eat something first.”

“I will take some snacks from kitchen. Don’t worry.”

“He sometimes sells off whatever he gets as the prize to bring the cash home,” Rupali murmured after Soumitra had taken his snacks and books into the only bedroom the house had, “He has grown beyond his age.”

“So have you,” Paritosh could not help appreciating. Then quickly changed the topic, “I will leave now. Hope to see you tomorrow. You should catch up on your sleep.”

“Yes Sir.”

—

To be continued

House help opened the door for her. Paritosh was sitting on the carpet beside a crying Meenal. His head was buried in his hands. It looked like he had tried everything possible to calm his daughter down and had failed. Rupali looked at the clock. It was forty five minutes past eleven. If Meenal was crying since nine ‘o clock…

“Dr. Khanna.”

A distressed face looked up at her, and brightened up in a moment.

“Meenu,” he turned to her daughter and drew her attention to Rupali.

She indeed stopped crying.

“Mamma…. Mamma…”

Rupali smiled at her and stretched her hands out. Meenal got up, walked up to her and held her hand.

“Mamma… Mamma…” she rocked herself.

“Thank you,” Paritosh’ eyes were enough to express how grateful he felt.

“It’s all right, Sir,” she replied politely.

Both of them stayed around while Meenal became absorbed in her toys. Paritosh didn’t let Rupali bring Meenal’s food or do anything else that day. “I like doing it. Unfortunately I can’t do it every day,” he explained.

“I am afraid,” he spoke hesitatingly after feeding some milk to Meenal, “You might have to come tomorrow as well. Earlier, she had never done this. When I was around, she wasn’t bothered if the caretaker went away. But for some reason…”

Rupali had anticipated this. Yet her heart sank. It had been only one week into this job. Despite her bravado before her brothers, she was finding it tiring to do both the jobs, apart from the housework. Soumitra and Sugata helped at home, but they also needed time for their tuitions and studies and she didn’t want them to compromise on that. She had been looking forward to catching up on her sleep over the weekend. Pharmacy had to be attended every day. It was only the day time that she could have used to take rest. Apart from getting no time to sleep, coming here would mean she won’t get any time with her brothers either. But she couldn’t leave this little girl crying and distressed. What had she gotten herself into? She hoped that things would settle down. This week she would have to manage. By next weekend, hopefully, she would have thought of some solution.

“I will come, Sir,” she assured him.

“I will pay you for this…”

“That’s not needed, Dr. Khanna.” Taking money would have meant committing permanently to it. She didn’t want to do that.

The doorbell rang. The house help was still around. Rupali figured that she stayed longer on weekends to finish weekly tasks of dusting and cleaning up. On weekdays, she left at about the same time that Rupali came. She got the door.

“Somebody is here to see you, Ma’am,” she came back and informed.

“Who?” a surprised Rupali asked.

“He says he is your brother.”

“My brother? Here?”

“Bring him in,” Paritosh said.

—

“Soumitra. What’s up? Is everything all right?” Rupali got worried.

“Yes. Yes. I am going for Sugata’s cricket match. We just… You hadn’t eaten. So, we made some pooris for you. They didn’t turn out that well. So, we also packed some rice you had made for lunch.” He handed her a tiffin box hesitatingly. He was uncomfortable in Partitosh’ presence.

“You… you didn’t need to… ” She felt like she would choke on her voice. “Thank you,” she finally said. Her eyes were almost moist. “Dr. Khanna. This is my brother, Soumitra,” she introduced them.

Paritosh was looking guilty on realizing that Rupali had come away without eating. “Hi Soumitra. I am sorry for calling your sister like that…”

“It’s okay, Dr. Khanna,” Soumitra replied awkwardly. Rupali realized that he was uncomfortable in the posh surroundings.

“You have packed your lunch?” she asked. Thankfully she had made the lunch before starting on the breakfast. They were all planning to go for the cricket match and had to pack the lunch.

“Yes. I will leave now.”

Rupali nodded.

—

“You hadn’t eaten? Why didn’t you tell me?” Paritosh asked as soon as Soumitra left. As if, he wasn’t already feeling sufficiently guilty about spoiling her weekend.

“It’s okay, Dr. Khanna. I wasn’t hungry. I would have, if…”

“I should have taken care of it. Anyway, please have your breakfast first. I will check on lunch. There might be some chicken. Do you eat chicken?”

“Yes. I eat everything, Sir. Don’t worry about me.”

He nodded and walked off to the kitchen to check up on the cook.

—

She reached at Paritosh’ house fifteen minutes past nine on Wednesday. As she feared, Meenal was already crying.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized.

“It’s okay,” Paritosh was irritated, but knew better than to say anything to her for a mere fifteen minutes delay. It was the first time she had been late. He kept his calm.

But things took a different turn when for some reason he came home in the afternoon and found Rupali asleep. On Meenal’s bed, beside her. He looked at the clock. It was the time when Meenal woke up from her afternoon nap. Meenal woke up and poked Rupali gently. “Mamma… Mamma…”

Just then, an alarm went off in Rupali’s mobile. The sound of alarm frightened Meenal. Rupali woke up with a start and switched off the alarm before anything happened. Meenal calmed down immediately on seeing her awake.

Paritosh lost it, however. “What do you think you were doing?” he asked in a chilly voice.

“I… I am sorry, Sir. Meenal was sleeping. I just…”

“Meenal was sleeping, but she could have woken up. There was no one else in the house. Anything could have happened.” His voice was rising.

“I am really sorry, Sir. It won’t happen again. I…”

“No. It won’t happen again. Because you will leave right away. You are fired.”

“Sir!” Rupali wasn’t expecting such cold-hearted behavior from him. She thought she had gained his trust. Even if he didn’t find it professional for her to take a nap while Meenal was sleeping, firing her for that was a little too extreme. Nothing had gone wrong!

“Leave now. Did you hear me, or are you still sleepy?”

Tears welled up in her eyes at the insult. How could he? She looked at Meenal. She could probably not comprehend what was going on. Or if she could, and had an opinion about it, she could not voice it. Rupali felt angry. She won’t let this ungrateful man see her tears. She blinked those back. She got down from the bed, picked up her purse, wore her shoes, and left without a word.

—

To be continued

Paritosh entered his home at five in the evening to the sound of his daughter’s frantic cries and the sight of a flustered Rupali.

“What happened? What does Meenu want?” Rupali was asking her and was looking around desperately, but she was unable to spot anything that could possibly be a problem. She turned around to go to the phone, probably to call him, when she ran into him.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I don’t know, Sir. I can’t figure out. I was about to call you.”

“Meenu,” he rushed towards her. Rupali could not help noticing how he took efforts to stop himself from touching her. Something so counterintuitive to any parent whose child is crying. Picking her up and trying to calm her down would have been the obvious thing to do. But he didn’t do that. He couldn’t! The child may not like it. Rupali felt really bad for him. He looked at his daughter carefully, almost with the eyes of a detective. What was amiss?

Rupali saw him bending down and redoing her shoelaces. Meenal stopped crying. “The bow was lose,” he spoke as he turned towards a visibly relieved Rupali, “Just slightly. But…” It wasn’t anything she did, Rupali sent up a thousand thanks to God!

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize,” she said, “She was all right the entire day.”

Paritosh nodded, “It takes time to understand. There are too many things.” He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t blaming her. Rupali’s day was saved!

“Good evening, Meenu,” Paritosh turned his attention back to his daughter and greeted her. After a pause of few seconds, she responded by copying him. “Good evening, Meenu.”

Despite everything she had read about, including echolalia, something autistic children were prone too, that little exchange was jarring. In her own trying life, the one source of satisfaction and happiness she had was the affection of her brothers. When they smiled at her, or hugged her lovingly, or showed any signs of care for her, or expressed how much they missed her, the life became meaningful. Crushing down her own dreams to take care of them started making sense. If Sugata didn’t shout, and Soumitra didn’t frown, with worry, if they didn’t appreciate what she cooked for them, if their eyes didn’t glow with happiness when she got them a long-awaited gift, if they never talked to her about their school and friends, if they didn’t tell her that they wanted to make her proud, would she still be able to go through her life? Unlikely. Then what about Dr. Khanna? The one creature in the world he seemed to be living for and with, was incapable of showing emotions and affections.

She would have liked to offer some comfort to him, some assurance. But she remained tongue-tied about it. “Can I leave now, Dr. Khanna?” she asked.

“Yes. And I hadn’t expected that she would stay with you from day one like this. Good job.”

She was surprised. She had no expectations of a praise after he had found his daughter crying on coming home. But he understood!

“Th… thank you, Sir,” she stammered a little, “I will try to not disappoint you in future too.”

He nodded.

“Mamma… Mamma…” Meenal said without looking at anyone as Rupali made to leave. She was distressed about the idea of her leaving.

Rupali kneeled before her and said, “I will come tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” Meenal repeated the last word. Rupali hoped that it meant she understood.

“We will play with play-dough.”

“We will play with play-dough.”

“Bye Meenu.”

“Bye Meenu.”

—

“I’m sorry for disturbing you on a Saturday, Ms. Banerjee, but Meenal is frantic. I think she has gotten used to seeing you at nine every day. I am unable to calm her down. Is it possible…” Paritosh’ voice drowned. He sounded so miserable that Rupali couldn’t have said no. But she was just frying pooris for her brothers. Their weekend treat!

“I can leave in another fifteen minutes, Sir,” she did a quick mental calculation and replied. Her brothers would have eaten by then.

“Thanks. I… We’ll wait for you.”

“And if you had to become a nanny, you couldn’t find any child in the world other than this mad girl?” Sugata was livid yet again as Rupali hurriedly dropped the fried pooris in their plates.

“She is not mad, Sugata,” Rupali replied and went back to the stove.

“And even if she were,” Soumitra added, “This is no way to talk about anyone. It’s not her fault that she is that way.”

“Is it our fault? Is it Didi’s fault?”

“It is nobody’s fault,” Rupali came with the next set of pooris, “Now, will you please focus on eating. Some hard work goes into making food. Show some respect.”

“I wish they would show some respect for our time. You had promised to come for cricket match,” Sugata whined.

“I am sorry,” Rupali softened, “But Sugata. You are lucky that you can express yourself. That little girl… When she feels something, she can’t even express it. She is crying incessantly for last one hour. She could have been your own sister.”

“Emotional blackmail,” he mumbled. He was obviously affected by her reasoning, but won’t admit it. Rupali suppressed a smile. He was a boy trying hard to become a man. All this aggression was a manifestation of that.

“Aren’t you going to eat before leaving?” Soumitra noticed her picking up her purse.

“Don’t worry about me. I will find something to eat. Do go to his cricket match, Soumitra. Please!”

“Okay, I will.”

—

To be continued

“Another job?” Sugata was livid, as Rupali had expected. He rebelled against everything, against their fate, against their poverty, against their losing their parents, without quite knowing what to do with that rebellion. At his heart he wasn’t any different from Soumitra, his twin, in worrying about his elder sister. But he expressed it differently. He expressed it with anger. Soumitra, at the same time, was frowning quietly. “Stop shouting Sugata,” he said.

“Why should I stop shouting? What does she think she is? Some superwoman? As it is, she took up the night shift at pharmacy because of some extra money. Now, she wants to work the day too. When will she sleep? Or eat? Or do anything that normal mortals do?”

“You should stop shouting because what you are saying is correct. But shouting won’t convince her otherwise.”

“Stop bickering the two of you,” Rupali said patiently. “Night shift starts at ten. This job will only be till five. In the evenings and mornings, I will get enough sleep. And I don’t even have to work here over the weekends. Dr. Khanna himself stays with her daughter. So, stop worrying.”

“Didi,” Soumitra spoke this time, “You don’t need to do this. We can also take up some part time jobs. And it’s not like we don’t have enough…”

“Part time job? With board exams to face next year. Have you gone crazy?” Rupali parroted her response. They had been through this so many times. When her parents were alive, they hadn’t allowed her to lift her fingers for anything. They weren’t rich. But they were comfortable. Her father worked hard at his private job, and provided for them. Nothing could come in the way of their studies. She was now responsible for her brothers. How could she let them work before completing their studies?

“Didi. We can’t just sit around and see you working yourself to death.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Soumitra,” she patted his head affectionately; “I am young enough right now. When will I work, if not now? Once you have finished your colleges and gotten good jobs, I would retire early and enjoy life like a queen. Just remember not to ignore me for your wives.” She chuckled.

“Didi!” Soumitra flushed.

“I’m joking. Anyway, isn’t it time for your tuition classes?”

“I’m not going,” Sugata was still seething, “Since you are going to work on behalf of the entire world, why should anyone else do any work? I will sleep, eat and make merry.”

“That’s enough of tantrums. Go out now; else I will make sure you never are able to step out of this house. Not for your cricket, not for your music band!” she had to be a tough parent at times. It appeared unnatural for her age, but had become her natural instinct. Taking charge of the twins, when they were barely eight-years old, and she herself was only eighteen, hadn’t been natural. Life hadn’t been easy in last six years either, but she had managed. Almost! Difficult as it had been, time had flown away fast. Next year Soumitra and Sugata would be writing their board exams. Another two years of school; and she wanted them to go to a good one; then college. Soumitra wanted to be an engineer. That wouldn’t come cheap. Sugata didn’t know what he wanted. He was interested in everything other than studies. That meant more uncertain career choices. He might need support for longer. And there was her own life too. She hadn’t grown old enough to not worry about it. Despite what she said, she had no plans of depending on her brothers even after they started earning. She had seen the disappointment of parents who tried depending on their children and the genuine conflicts and tensions it created.

She needed to earn and save more. Much more!

—

Rupali had read about autism and needs of autistic children over the weekend. But she was still nervous when she showed up for work. Paritosh’ anxiety was also obvious, although he was clearly a man of few words. He told her about Meenal’s routines and eccentricities. If food was not given to her at exactly the right time, she won’t eat it. She didn’t like being hugged. She was not to be picked up unless she herself asked. Her toys needed to be arranged in a particular order and she played with them according to some pattern only she knew about. “Call me, if she is at all distressed,” he said finally and Rupali nodded.

“Bye Meenu,” he bent down to take leave of his daughter. The softness and affection in his voice was impossible to miss.

“Bye Meenu,” Meenal repeated mechanically, saying her own name, instead of addressing her father.

Paritosh got up to leave. This must be her usual response!

“Mamma… Mamma…” she tugged at Rupali’s kurta as she followed Paritosh to close the door after him. It was awkward as usual. But Rupali hoped to see some reaction from Paritosh. Possibly a nervous, and embarrassed smile, but he gave none. He just looked at his daughter once, a look she didn’t return, and left.

—

To be continued

“Mamma…. Mamma…” Rupali was surprised by the faint tugging at her kurta. She turned around to find a little girl, about four years old, standing behind her in the aisle of the supermarket.

“I’m sorry,” a tall, handsome man in his thirties rushed towards them and pulled the girl away. He looked flustered.

“It’s okay,” Rupali replied, though feeling awkward by the way the girl had addressed her as ‘Mamma’. The man must be her father.

“Mamma… Mamma….” the girl repeated again. She was unusually unexpressive for her age. Her father made to turn away without explaining anything, when they were spotted by Meher.

“Good morning, Dr. Khanna,” she greeted the man.

“Meher,” he acknowledged her although he looked like he wanted to run away that very moment.

“Good to see you here. This is my friend, Rupali. Rupali Banerjee. Rupali. This is Dr. Paritosh Khanna. Our HOD…”

“Mamma…. Mamma…” the girl tentatively held out a hand towards Rupali, making her flush as badly as Paritosh.

Meher was surprised and looked questioningly at him. Now, he was forced to explain, “There is a TV show she watches. Children’s show. She identifies the mother of one of the kids on the show as Mamma. Your friend, Ms. Banerjee, looks similar to that actress.” Then he turned to Rupali and explained, “She is autistic. Please don’t mind. Have a good day.”

He walked away without waiting for them to react.

“Well… that was awkward,” said Rupali with a nervous smile.

“Yes but… This was extra ordinary, Rupali. Meenal, that’s Dr. Khanna’s daughter, can’t bear any strangers around. I am surprised he brought her for grocery shopping. But with you…”

“She just happened to find likeness in the face.” Rupali acted more nonchalant than she felt. The girl calling her ‘Mamma’ had touched something deep inside her.

“And that could be a boon. Didn’t you want a daytime job, Rupali?”

“So?”

“Dr. Khanna really needs someone to take care of Meenal. Her caretaker of last three years left recently. He has been through hell since then. He even has to take her to the classes with him, while he teaches. Thankfully he is teaching only one course this semester. But…”

“What about her mother?”

“She is dead.”

“Ohh!”

“I don’t know what his opinion would be, but I can propose it to him, if you want.”

Babysitting couldn’t possibly pay as much as she needed. But that girl… “I think it is worth the try,” she mumbled.

“I must warn you about something though.”

“What is it?”

“He isn’t the best employer. His students as well as the department’s staff are on a high alert when he is around. I can sympathize. Life has not been easy on him. But still… I must warn you.”

“We’ll see if the job works out at all.”

“Yeah. Good idea. I will let you know.”

They finished paying for their groceries and came out of the supermarket.

—

“This job is difficult. Why do you think you can do it?” Paritosh asked her. He had almost raised this objection when Meher had told him about the possibility of Rupali becoming Meenal’s caretaker. The earlier caretaker had come before Meenal’s problems were evident and diagnosed.  After she left, Paritosh didn’t think another nanny would be enough. He would have to employ a trained psychologist, or probably leave her in some care centre for the day. But then he decided to talk to Rupali once. If Meenal identifying her as her favorite character was not a one-time aberration, it might just work.

“I have taken care of my twin brothers since they were eight-years old, Sir. I am patient with children.” She looked at Meenal who was playing with play-dough sitting at some distance from them, unaware of her presence.

“They were normal children.”

“You, of all the people, should not be talking about normal and abnormal, Dr. Khanna. She is just different…”

“It doesn’t matter what the experts on Internet say, Ms. Banerjee, or what I say, this is what the world says about her. Even her mother… Anyway. Point is, it is more difficult than handling other children.”

Something drew Meenal’s attention towards them at that very moment.

“Mamma… Mamma…” she said in the same tone as earlier. She didn’t make any attempts to move though. Rupali smiled at her and stretched her hand towards her, indicating her to come closer. Paritosh looked on impassively, as Meenal got up and walked towards Rupali. She touched her outstretched hand once, but did not hold it. Rupali smiled and pulled her hands away.

“Mamma… Mamma…” Meenal rocked herself while standing there. Rupali made to hold her, when Paritosh stopped her, “Don’t hug her. She doesn’t like that.”

“Okay,” Rupali suppressed her irritation at Paritosh’ tone and just stretched her hands once again towards Meenal. This time she held it.

“She will help me, Sir,” Rupali looked at Paritosh and said, “If you would give me a chance.”

He let out a quick sigh and said, “Fine. When can you start?”

“From today, if you want.”

“I am here on weekends. You can come from Monday.”

“Sure Sir.” Rupali’s felt like a burden was taken off her. Something told her that the little girl needed her. If her father hadn’t agreed… But now the practical side of the arrangement started nagging her. “Sir… Just one thing…”

“What is it?”

“Salary?”

“How much do you expect?”

“This is the first time I am taking up such a job. If you could tell me how much were you paying her earlier caretaker…”

“Ten thousands a month.”

Rupali gulped. She was expecting much less. And that’s why was apprehensive about taking up the job. If she could push him up a bit further, she would be able to meet her target salary.

“Sir. I don’t mind putting in extra hours, or working on weekends. But I need fifteen…”

Paritosh frowned and Rupali fidgeted. He must be thinking of her as an opportunist. Taking advantage of the fact that his autistic daughter had taken to her. But what could she do? She had to be…

“If you are indeed able to take care of her, I will pay you fifteen. But you have to prove yourself. To her, not to me.”

“Yes Sir. I will do my best, Sir.”

“Fine. Monday. At nine in the morning.”

—

To be continued