Mish' Fiction

Paritosh parked outside Moitras’ house and asked Rupali to go in. “Mr. Moitra is highly embarrassed about his son’s behaviour. My going in will only increase his embarrassment,” he explained.

Rupali was uncomfortable, but she doubted that Paritosh’ presence would reduce her discomfort. So, she nodded and went in. When she came out with a small bag, Sabyasachi was also with her. On seeing him, Paritosh got out of the car.

“Dr. Khanna. I can’t thank you enough… Or apologize enough…”

“Let it be Mr. Moitra. I myself can’t help feeling responsible for this… If I hadn’t brought this house issue up…”

“That’s not true,” Rupali interrupted.

Paritosh and Sabyasachi looked at her questioningly. So, she had to continue, “It isn’t about the house. It is about Rohan. And me. It had to happen someday or the other. You didn’t do anything Dr. Khanna.”

“My guess is,” spoke Sabyasachi, “That she is right. Anyway, Rupa. Please don’t take what your Kakima said to heart. She is just upset and biased.”

Rupali nodded, “I understand Kaku.”

“And I will make arrangements for you soon. Irrespective of what else happens, I need you to know that… I am still your father and I will take care of you.”

“I know Kaku,” Rupali got emotional and her voice choked as she spoke, “And I want you to know that I have not forgotten… I will never forget what all you have done for me… If you hadn’t stepped in then…”

“Hush…” he silenced her and patted her head, “Calm down and don’t cry. It will be all right. Okay?”

She wiped her tears and nodded. Paritosh took out the pistol from his car and handed it over to Sabyasachi.

“Thank you,” he said not to Paritosh, but to Rupali.

Rupali blinked back her tears. They got into Paritosh’ car and drove off.

“Why was he apologizing about Mrs. Moitra?” Paritosh asked during their drive.

“She is angry and upset that Rohan is angry and upset. And like him, her anger is also directed at me.”

“Doesn’t she know…”

“She is a mother, Dr. Khanna. That explains everything.”

Paritosh didn’t reply. Obviously she didn’t want to be ungrateful to her adoptive parents. He didn’t push her.

—

“You haven’t slept well?” Paritosh asked Rupali as they were having breakfast.

“What would you have done Dr. Khanna, if Daar ji had found my mother back then and if she had become a trouble for you?”

Paritosh frowned deliberating over her question. He replied after a few moments, “You know what I would really like, Rupali. That you gave up these unnecessary pretenses. Asking stuff indirectly, with hypothetical questions… I am not sure what problem you mother could have created for me. So, I find it absolutely impossible to give an answer to your question.” Rupali flushed. Paritosh noticed, but he continued, “However, it is not so difficult for me to guess that you are conflicted about your feelings for Dr. Moitra and his parents. Am I right?”

Rupali nodded and didn’t say anything.

“Talk to them Rupali. As far as I have spoken to them, at least to Mr. Moitra, he cares about you. I don’t think they will force anything upon you. But if you don’t talk, how is anyone going to understand what is on your mind?”

Her reaction took Paritosh by surprise. Her eyes filled with tears and she ran away from the breakfast table. What was so distressing in what he said?

—

“Rupali,” she heard a slight knock at the door hardly five minutes after she had come running to her room. Given how she had run away, he had to follow her. He’d probably apologize. How was she to make him understand that he didn’t say anything wrong. It was her messed up life in which nothing could go right.

She took a moment to calm herself down and wipe her tears. She was still rehearsing in her mind what she would tell him when she opened the door, only to be greeted with surprise.

“Kakima?” her voice was hoarse from crying.

“Mrs. Moitra came just now and wanted to talk to you. I thought it could best be done in your room…”

Rupali stepped aside to let Damyanti in. Paritosh made to leave.

“Please stay. Dr. Khanna,” Rupali said surprising both Damyanti and Paritosh.

Paritosh felt awkward. It was like intruding in a family matter. But she hadn’t said it as a formality. Her voice and eyes were pleading. He looked at Damyanti. She had a frown on her face, but it faded away and she nodded to him. “You know everything Dr. Khanna. Nothing is hidden from you,” she explained. Paritosh came in.

“Rupa,” Damyanti spoke, “I have come here to apologize. On Rohan’s behalf as well as mine…”

“Kakima please. You don’t need to…”

“I am his mother, and I was agitated to see him in so much pain. But it didn’t take me long to see that what he did was inexcusable.” Rupali just bit her lips. Seeing no response from her, Damyanti continued, “But Rupa. The long and short of it is that he loves you. That was the reason he overreacted to the idea to you moving away. And even I don’t understand this. Why do you want to go away? After all these years… Are you still not comfortable? Is there something you don’t have at home? If there is, you only need to say it…”

“Please Kakima. You know that’s not the case. I have everything I could ever need and more…”

“If you want more privacy, you know that we have already bought another flat for you and Rohan. You can stay there after marriage. I would never mind that. I just… want… my son’s happiness too…”

Rupali started sobbing and Paritosh watched helplessly.

“Don’t cry my child,” Damyanti patted her, “What Rohan did was the first and the last time….”

“It wasn’t… It wasn’t a first, Kakima,” Rupali managed to say through her sobbing.

“Excuse me?”

“How can I ever explain to you…. It wasn’t a first…”

Damyanti looked at Paritosh as if expecting him to explain it to her. Paritosh was frowning, trying to think.

“Rupali,” he finally spoke, “Calm down and talk. Okay? You are safe here, you know that, right? Just tell us what do you mean?”

But she continued sobbing and buried her face in her hands.

Paritosh knew something about her problems with Rohan. So, he decided to prompt her. “Do… Do you mean that… Dr. Moitra has… forced… himself on you?” He spoke with great hesitation watching for Damyanti’s reaction at every word. Damyanti flushed, but did not react and just looked at Rupali in confused anticipation.

“Speak up Rupali. At least tell us if it is what I said.” he urged her when she did not reply and continued sobbing.

She lifted her head, but did not look them in their eyes as she slowly nodded her head. “And not today…. Ever since… ever since… he first…. met me…”

Paritosh was startled. Damyanti’s first reaction was that of confusion, “What? What do you mean?” Surely she didn’t mean that… “Talk to me, Rupa,” Damyanti became agitated and shook the girl, “Explain what did you mean just now…”

“Mrs. Moitra please… You are scaring her,” Paritosh intervened. Damyanti realized how violent she was being and moved away from Rupali. “What did she just say, Dr. Khanna? What does it even mean?”

“Let’s just step outside please. Please Mrs. Moitra.” Both of them shot a worried glance at crying Rupali and stepped out.

“I don’t know… I have no clue what she said,” Paritosh told her once they were outside, “But right now allow me sometime. As a doctor what I see there is a breakdown. Let me deal with this situation medically first. And then details will come…”

Damyanti was only half-hearing him though. She was talking to herself, “The first time he met her, she was in school… Thirteen probably…. She didn’t mean….”

“I don’t know Mrs. Moitra. But you must pull yourself together. You are the mother to these two youngsters, who seem to be troubled; for whatever reason. If you don’t hold yourself together, it can’t be good for them.”

“What do I do?”

“Go home and let me call you back. Please. I must go back to Rupali.”

Damyanti nodded absent-mindedly and walked away. Paritosh rushed back to Rupali.

—

To be continued

Rohan had finally left after fussing over her. She had managed to convince Damyanti also that she just needed some rest and would be fine by evening when time for her night duty came. Now she was alone at home. She had just finished her breakfast in bed, when the cook came in and gave her a card. Someone had come to meet her.

“Dr. Khanna?” she was surprised. She deliberated for a moment whether to meet him in the hall or have him brought to her room. She was still in her night-dress. Sitting on the bed covered up in a blanket would be a more presentable state than going downstairs in that dress, she decided. “Please bring him here,” she told the cook.

“What has happened to you?” Paritosh was agitated when he came in.

“Please sit down, Dr. Khanna,” Rupali felt cheerful on seeing him. She indicated towards a chair lying near her bed.

Paritosh sat down, “I was in the admin office when you called.”

“Nothing has happened. I was just tired. Need some rest.”

“Let me check,” he touched her forehead to feel the temperature, then took the pulse. That’s when she noticed his wrists and got surprised.

“Do you always wear cuff-links?”

He was awkward, “Uh… Sort of… Why?”

“No. Just like that,” she realized how abrupt and awkward her question was. But she couldn’t help asking it. Those were the helping hands she had seen in the background in her nightmare. The hands that did not reach her in the dream. But which had reached her now. Had she subconsciously noticed his hands earlier? Could it be…

“I think I will leave you to take rest,” Paritosh’ voice brought her out of her thoughts.

“No. Please have some tea before leaving…”

“Some other time Rupali. I need to be back at the hospital.”

“You came just to see me?” she also noticed him using her name instead of the formal “Dr. Banerjee”.

“I got worried.”

“Now you are not worried, I hope. My vitals are all fine,” she smiled.

“I am. I am worried. And I feel guilty. So, please take care.”

“Guilty? What for?”

“For saying things that I shouldn’t have said. Things that disturbed you. Anyway. Talking about them again would be of no help. You take rest. I will see you later,” he walked out before she could say anything.

It took her some time to go to sleep, but exhaustion finally took over and she slept off. Dreamlessly!

—

She had taken her rounds and was in the common room at night. Nobody else was around, when Paritosh walked in.

“What are you doing here at this hour, Sir?” Rupali was surprised to see him.

He sat across from her on a chair, “Didn’t have anything to do at home. Have a day off tomorrow as well. So, I stayed on.”

“You don’t have the reputation of being a workaholic for no reason,” she smiled, “But since you are here, I must tell you something. You have been unnecessarily feeling guilty. You didn’t say anything I was not already aware of.”

“I hope so. But you must not fall ill.”

“No. I won’t. That’s why I have become a doctor,” she suddenly chuckled.

“Really? The doctors don’t fall ill according to you?”

“I was very weak as a child. Would often fall ill. Mummy used to say that when I grow up I would become a doctor and then diseases would be scared of me and I will not fall ill. That used to reassure me. Things we believe as kids,” she laughed slightly.

Paritosh also joined in her laughter, “So, that’s why you chose your career in medicine?”

“Rohan thinks it was because of him. But yes – it was because of Mummy.”

“Tell me more about your parents.”

“Well… What can I say? My father, you already know, worked at a school. Before I was born my mother had worked as a governess to Rohan. My father had also tutored him. That’s how Kakima and Kaku knew them so well. Apart from that, they were like any other set of parents. They loved each other. They loved me even more. And I think I was pretty well-behaved as a child. Didn’t need much scolding. So, they didn’t have to…” They both laughed at that. “I always carry a photograph of them. It was taken soon after they were married. Let me show you,” she seemed excited to be talking about her parents.

Paritosh was stunned when he saw the photograph though.

“What was your mother’s name?”

She chuckled, “A very awkward Jeet Banerjee. She was not a Bengali actually. She clearly doesn’t look like one, does she? But she took my father’s name after marriage anyway. She would often jokingly complain about it. That her marriage made a mess of her name. And that’s why she had chosen to go with a Bengali name for me.”

“That’s… nice… I just remembered some work Dr. Banerjee. Can you see me before leaving for home in the morning?”

“Sure. But why?”

“Later,” he said and left abruptly. He drove home, but came back after a while.

—

“Dr. Khanna?” Rupali came to his office in the morning before leaving for home. He had fallen asleep on his chair. He woke up startled.

“Dr. Banerjee! Please sit down. I’m sorry. I drowsed off.”

“It’s okay. You must be tired. You had asked me to meet you…”

“Yes. Please give me a minute,” he excused himself to wash his face and then came back to the office.

Rupali was standing looking some of the book on his shelves, when he came back.

“Please sit down Dr. Banerjee.”

His behaviour was making her very curious. “What is it Dr. Khanna? Anything serious?” She sat down.

“Do you have a few minutes?”

“Sure.”

“I have told you about Daar ji, right?”

“A little, yes.”

“Before dying, he had made me promise that I will find his daughter.”

“Find her? You mean she is alive? Didn’t you say…”

“He had lost her… No, she wasn’t dead. Not then, anyway. She had run away, because she had fallen in love with a Bengali boy and Daar ji, in his anger, was trying to get her married off. He really regretted that later in his life, especially in his last hours. Unfortunately he didn’t know anything about her whereabouts. And as it happened, he told me everything else he knew, but not her name before dying.”

“Then?” Rupali was engrossed in the story and didn’t wait to think why he was telling her all that.

“So, I was quite helpless… Until last night… Do you recognize this?” he handed her the photograph from Daar ji’s box.

“Why of course… This is… Oh my God! Mummy?” her eyes widened in surprise and she stood up abruptly.

“I thought so too… Unfortunately I am too late for your mother… But not for you.” She stared in silence as he picked up some keys from the table, along with a letter. “This is the house he had wanted me give to her. The papers will take some time for transfer. But here is the address and these are the keys. You might want to…”

“You are joking, right?”

“No Rupali. In fact, everything he owned is yours…”

“Stop Dr. Khanna. Please.”

“What happened?”

“I have enough burdens of charity already. I can’t add another person to the list. Fine – you know about my problems. But that doesn’t mean you have to act like my knight in shining armour.”

“Where did that come from?” Paritosh was baffled, “You think I am lying? Why would I… And where will I get a photograph of your mother from, you tell me?”

“That might all very well be true. But… Anything else does not make sense.”

“What doesn’t?”

Rupali paused for few moment before replying, “Nothing he had could be mine…. How can it be… When he was not there for Mummy, what could I possibly mean to him? Thank you, that you thought of me. But one way or the other, anything any one does for me is going to be a favour. I would rather take it from the people who were there for me when I was alone, than from a person who was not there for his own daughter. I am sorry.” She left immediately.

Paritosh sank down in his chair. This wasn’t how he had imagined this conversation to go. He had thought about it the entire night. He had peered at Jeet’s photograph again yesterday. Except for her wheatish complexion and leanness of face, Rupali had borrowed every single feature from her mother. He also realized why he had been noticing her repeatedly during his address to the interns for their orientation. It was not because Rohan had pointed her out to him. It was because she was subconsciously reminding him of the nameless face he had practically memorized every feature of at one point of time. In the hopeless hope of finding her somewhere – out of blue and fulfilling Daar ji’s last wish by giving her the house – and more if she wanted. But over time the hope had faded. And then yesterday, Rupali showed him the photograph. A better coincidence could not have been divined for him. He would finally be able to fulfill Daar ji’s wish – the man who had been everything to him. And he had hoped that it would make Rupali happy and hopeful. That she had something to call her own. That she need not be dependent on anybody any longer. But it had all gone wrong…

Now that Paritosh thought about it, he realized that he had been too blinded by his excitement to think it through. This is not the kind of news one gets everyday. Him assuming that he could predict her reaction was presumptuous on his part. But what should he do now?

—

To be continued

“Doctor Uncle, you tell us. What should we call her? Didi or Auntie?” two kids came to Paritosh and Rupali when they went to the orphanage for the weekly checkup and asked Paritosh to resolved their dispute about Rupali.

“What?”

“Mihir says we should call her Auntie, I think we should call her Didi.”

Paritosh laughed out loud, while Rupali blushed, “I think you might have taken the more advantageous position in betting on Didi, but why don’t you ask her what she would like to be called.”

“How about you just call me by my name? Rupali? It is a nice enough name, don’t you think so?” Rupali intervened.

“But elders are not supposed to be called by their name,” the kids were not satisfied.

“Hmm…” Rupali became thoughtful, while Paritosh laughed again. “They are not going to let you off the hook so easily, Dr. Banerjee.”

Her eyes shone on hearing him, “How about you call me Dr. Rupali? That is respectful enough.”

“Will Suma Auntie agree?” the kids consulted amongst themselves talking about their caretaker.

“She will. Don’t worry.”

“Okay then. Dr. Rupali. We will call you that only.”

“Good,” Rupali smiled and patted their heads.

“Well… Didi wouldn’t have been too bad,” Paritosh was still amused, “Auntie would be totally out-of-place, of course.”

“I don’t care how old I am perceived to be,” Rupali smiled, “But I… Just don’t feel comfortable with relations… It is better to keep it impersonal.”

“Why do you come here, then? This can not be impersonal?” he asked suddenly.

“Why do you come here?” she asked in return.

“That’s not fair. Turning the question on me like that.”

“No. No. I didn’t intend to do that. I am sorry,” Rupali was flustered.

“It’s okay. No need to get worked up. But yes – coming here is extremely personal for me. My first memories of life are of this place. I was here.”

Rupali looked surprised, “You are an orphan?”

“Daar ji had adopted me, when I was twelve. But before that…”

“Oh!”

“What?”

“I come here, because I could have been here,” she said slowly.

“How come?”

“My parents died when I was eleven. In an accident.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Insurance payout never came. They declared that it was a suicide. There was nobody to argue or fight with them on my behalf. Without the insurance money, no relative was willing to take on the responsibility of a young child, especially a girl. They had almost packed me to this place, when my father’s employers stepped in and took me in.”

“That was great. You were lucky. They obviously brought you up well.”

“Yes. I guess.”

“You don’t agree?”

“I don’t disagree… But sometimes I do wonder… If deprivation is better while growing up or a burden of favor? Did you never feel that conflict?”

Paritosh smiled in understanding. “Not exactly that. But yeah – I understand. We all have our shares of conflicts in that situation.”

“What was your conflict?”

“Luckily for me, I didn’t grow up with that feeling. It was only during Daar ji’s last days that I realized that I was a substitute for someone.”

“Substitute?”

“His daughter… Whom apparently he had lost due to his own fault…”

“Hmm…”

“What did your father do, by the way?” Paritosh asked shifting the focus away from his story.

“He was the principle at one of Nihar Education Trust’s schools.”

“You were adopted by Dr. Moitra’s parents?” Paritosh asked immediately surprising Rupali.

“How do you know?”

“Well… his father is a member in the hospital’s board. I have known him for last four years As head of the department, I have to work closely with the board. NET belongs to them…”

“Oh! I should have known…” Rupali mumbled.

“I… I am sorry if it became awkward for you. I am not going to talk about any of this to them, of course,” Paritosh assured her, “We don’t meet much socially, anyway.”

“Of course. I trust you. I have to. For some reason you have been a witness to my awkwardness a bit too often,” Rupali tried to laugh it off.

—

To be continued