Category: English

Forbidden Fruit (Part 3)

Posted Mish13 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

“I am so, so tired of these trees and graphs in Sujeet Saxena’s class. Does he never tire of parent nodes, left child, right child?” Rupali and his friends were gathered together for the hostel day celebration.

“Oye, haven’t you heard of this? Sujeet Saxena has two children. What are their names?”

“Huh?”

“Think logically.”

“There is a logical way of naming children?”

“With Sujeet Saxena, there is. His children are called LC Saxena and RC Saxena.”

“What are you talking about?” Rupali had been reticent, but this drew her into the conversation.

“Rupali – the genius! It’s Left Child Saxena and Right Child Saxena.”

Everyone burst out laughing. Rupali also smiled, but she wasn’t exactly feeling jovial. She quietly slipped away after a while.

—

“Hi!” Ajay Bhardwaj came and sat beside her on the bench. He was also a Ph. D. student in the department. He worked with Dr. Sujeet Saxena.

“Hi. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Why did you come away? Are you unwell?”

“No.I am fine. I just sometimes feel out of place is large gatherings and noisy places.”

“Right. How about a really small gathering? Tomorrow is Saturday. Would you like to go out of the campus with me, perhaps for a coffee?”

Rupali looked surprised at his proposal. Then asked, “Coffee as in coffee? Or coffee as in a date?”

Her direct question made Ajay laugh despite his nervousness, “I meant the latter. But…”

“I like good coffee. I am sorry about the date.”

Ajay handled his disappointment gracefully, “Can I ask why?”

“I will try to answer, but I am not very good at these things. So, try not to get me wrong. It’s not about you. It’s just not on my priority. Or even in my comfort zone.”

“It’s okay, Rupali.”

“Thanks for understanding, Ajay.”

“I don’t understand, to be honest. But I respect you.”

“That deserves a thanks too.”

“Can we go for a coffee as in coffee though? No trick. Seriously.”

Rupali hesitated, but then smiled, “Sure.”

—

He was seated slightly far from Rupali and Ajay’s table in the coffee shop. But Rupali would have recognized Paritosh’ voice from miles away. “An Espresso, please,” he requested the waiter in his usual gentle manner. She was taken aback. He wasn’t expected to be back until Monday. She resisted the urge to confront him immediately, because he was sitting with an elderly gentleman and they seemed to be discussing something important.

Ajay hadn’t noticed Paritosh, but he could see that Rupali was distracted.

“Everything all right?” he asked.

“Yes. Of course.”

After few minutes the elderly man left while Paritosh waited behind to pay the bill. By shifting her chair slighly, Rupali could keep Paritosh in her peripheral vision.

“I will be back in a minute,” she told Ajay when Paritosh left the shop after paying the bill. She went out hoping to catch him before he disappeared. But Paritosh had long strides and she had to run to catch him in the parking lot.

“Dr. Khanna!”

He didn’t need to even turn back to know who it was. Only she called him “Dr. Khanna” like that. It had felt strange in the beginning. The undergraduate students called him “Sir”, but he always insisted that his graduate students called him by name. Everyone else complied, but Rupali continued calling him Dr. Khanna as she used to do before she had joined Ph. D.

“Rupali. What’s up?”

“I thought you were coming back on Monday.”

“Yes. But one of my Uncles had some work to get done in the city and he wanted my help. So, I came back earlier with him.”

“When did you come back?”

“Yesterday.”

“You didn’t tell me?”

Paritosh replied with a smile, “I thought I would let you have a break. You weren’t expecting to be bothered about work till Monday. So–”

“You could have attended the hostel day celebration.”

“Oh!”

“You didn’t even remember? That’s so unfair,” Rupali was agitated and she didn’t realize how loud she was.

“Rupali!”

“I will never talk to you.”

“Stop it, Rupali,” Paritosh was finding the exchange embarrassing in the parking lot. Others had started staring at them, “I am sorry. All right? But don’t behave like a brat. Not here in public, at least.”

His admonishment brought her back to her senses, “I… I am sorry. Just that I saw you in the coffee shop. And–”

“I saw you too,” Paritosh was still curt, “But you had company. So, I didn’t–”

“Company? You mean… No… He is not my boyfriend.”

“Nor am I. I must leave now. I will see you on Monday, at work.” Paritosh turned away and climbed into his car. Rupali walked back listlessly and ran into Ajay.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, trying to hide how dejected she was.

“You left like it was a question of life and death. I got worried.”

“I am all right. We can go back.”

“I paid the bill. I think you want to go back to the campus.”

She did and she was thankful to him for understanding that, “How much was the bill? We should split.”

“I know it was not a date. But paying for your coffee is not going to make me bankrupt. You can pay some other time. Let’s go now.” Ajay was not curt or rude, but he didn’t sound happy either.

—

“Dr. Khanna is a happily married man,” Ajay said on their way back.

“I know very well that he is married. Whether or not happily is something neither me, nor you would know. But either way, why are we talking about it?”

“I’m not the only one you have refused, Rupali, right? Ever wondered why you do that? You are not a traditional, obedient India girl saving yourself for your the guy your parents find for you, are you?”

“I have told you that relationships are not on my priority right now.”

“I’m afraid, it’s more an alibi than a reason.”

“What do you want to say?”

“I think, after today, I just agree to what everyone already says.”

“And what is that?”

“That you are hopelessly stuck on Dr. Khanna.”

“So I have heard too. He is my role-model, Ajay. It isn’t the same thing as–”

“For your sake, I hope you are right.”

—

To be Continued

Forbidden Fruit (Part 2)

Posted Mish8 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

Paritosh came out of his reminiscence when his phone rang. It was Amrit, his wife.

“Right… Yes… Yes… I remember…” he lied. He had forgotten about the wedding they had to attend that evening. He was supposed to buy a gift before going home to pick Amrit up. Amrit perhaps knew that he would have forgotten. So, she called. He was thankful for that. But he wondered sometimes. Instead of putting in so much effort in making him remember, why couldn’t she step out and buy something from the neighborhood shop herself? It wasn’t like she didn’t have time. But she seemed to have an aversion to taking any decision related to money, even minor expenses! His mother always said that he was fortunate to have a wife like that, who always deferred to him. He wasn’t so sure.

—

“This is quite late even for you!” Rupali was surprised to see Paritosh in the department’s common room at two in the morning. Having a night-out in the department was not uncommon for the students or young faculty. But not for others with family. Paritosh was known to stay till late, but usually even he left by midnight.

“I had to finish reviewing Smith’s paper.”

“When is the deadline?”

“Next week. But I am going on a break the day after.”

“Break?”

“Diwali. I have to go to my native place.”

“You had gone last year too.”

“I go every year.”

“For how long will you be gone?”

“One week.”

“Not fair.”

“What is unfair about it, Rupali?” this girl never ceased to amuse him with her antics, “You want to go home? You can go. I will approve your leave.”

“No. No. Who wants to go home? Mom is mad at me for not going there for Pujo. But your going away means that you will not come for our hostel day celebrations again.”

Every hostel in the college had a day earmarked as hostel day. They would host a party and entertain with stage performances on that day. Students living in the hostels invited their friends and faculty members they worked with to the celebrations. The hostel day for Rupali’s hostel fell in the same week as Diwali this time. Last year  Paritosh had missed it because he had been away for some conference on that day.

“I am sorry about that, Rupali.”

“Do you really have to go?”

“I told you, I go every year for Diwali.”

“That is not a reason to go. Do you enjoy going there?”

Paritosh sighed. Did he enjoy going there? He didn’t think so. He had never understood the fascination of poets and dreamers with village-life. Why were the villagers portrayed as nice, simple people? From what Paritosh had seen of his relatives in the village, they could eat an average city-dweller for their breakfast any day. And the family gatherings in his village, even around festivals, hardly felt festive. It invariably became a time to fight and bitch about what is being done with the farms and other properties of the family, who is stealing whose share and so on. Amrit, who wouldn’t step out even to buy some grocery on her own here, would fight it out like a lioness protecting her cubs. Paritosh preferred staying out of it. “Let it be, Amrit,” he would advise his wife too. But on that front, she did not defer to him. “How can I let it be? Ancestral rights must be protected, and not thrown away,” she was very clear about that.

“Dr. Khanna?” Rupali spoke again when Paritosh did not reply and got lost in his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you enjoy going to your native place?”

“No. I don’t. But we are social animals, Rupali. We don’t do things just for ourselves.”

“Do your relatives want you to come there?”

“No. I don’t think that they would miss me terribly.”

“For whom do you want to go then?”

“My wife! Amrit enjoys it. Very much. And my son too, I think. He would until he is still a child,” he smiled, “That may change in next few years.”

“Right,” Rupali’s face flushed. She suddenly felt  stupid, then fished for an opportunity to change the subject, “You were trying to get some coffee?”

“Yes. But this machine doesn’t seem to be working.”

“It won’t work the Computer Science way. We need mechanical engineering at work here,” she replied and tapped the machine hard a couple of times. Sure enough! Coffee started flowing.

“Thanks!” Paritosh picked the cup up and smiled.

“By the way, I think for someone talking about universal grammar in languages, Smith’s modeling is very weak. Prepositions, for example. The model would explain its usages in English, but definitely not in any Indian or middle-eastern languages.”

“Good point,” Paritosh nodded in agreement, “I am going to mention it in my review. Anything else?”

“No. As you had warned, the Maths did become too much for me after a while. It will take me some more time to go through the entire thing.”

“That’s fine. Whatever you managed to understand was beyond expectation. You have more course-work to do.”

“By the way, Dr. Khanna. I think you will enjoy the hostel day celebration more than Diwali at your native place. May be that should matter – at least for one year. Good night,” she said and walked out before he could process the sudden switch in the conversation. He looked confused for a moment. Then he smiled and shook his head.

—

“Rupali. What happened?” Garima interrupted Rupali while walking down the corridor in her hostel.

“Nothing,” Rupali replied hastily, “Why do you ask?”

“Why? You look like you failed a subject in your last semester and would have to wait another year for your degree.”

“What?”

“You look like you are on the verge of crying. Something is the matter.”

“Nothing major.”

“That’s fine. Who said you can’t share minor troubles. Come. Let’s sit in the canteen.”

“It’s not a trouble, yaar,” Rupali tried to appear nonchalant, “Just that Dr. Khanna is not coming for the Hostel Day this year either.”

“Aaaah!” Garima gave a meaningful smile.

“What?”

“No wonder you look heartbroken.”

“What heartbroken?”

“Do I have to tell you what heartbroken means?”

“Why should I be heartbroken? I am just annoyed. I had already purchased food coupons for him. It will be wasted.”

“I see. So, you are annoyed about wasted money? Since when did that start happening?”

“What do you mean since when? My family has money. I don’t. I do spend it wisely.”

“Sure. How many extra coupons do you have?”

“Three.”

“Dr. Khanna eats that much?”

“Silly. For his wife and son.”

“Ah! You were going to invite them too.”

“Of course. I was.”

“Okay. I can take one of the coupons from you. How much was it? Four hundred bucks?”

“Just take it.”

“Don’t care about the money, do you?” Garima winked at her and left, leaving Rupali flabbergasted.

—

To be Continued

Forbidden Fruit (Part 1)

Posted Mish13 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

“Dr. Khanna?”

“Rupali! Come in.”

“I’m sorry. You look busy. Shall I come later? Oh! You are reading the same paper. By Smith and his group.”

Prof. Paritosh Khanna laughed, something he did often in the presence of Rupali Banerjee, usually triggered by her childlike enthusiasm to know and do everything immediately. She sought instant gratification just like children. Only her candies involved complex Computer Science research! What else could explain her trying to read that paper even before it was published? It had come to Paritosh for peer-review. And it was the kind of paper whose review could not be delegated to the graduate students, not even to someone as bright as Rupali. The authors had, however, put up the paper on their website, as was a common practice among Computer Science researchers. She must have downloaded it from there.

“Let me guess,” he said, barely suppressing an amused smile, “You are stuck here.” He pointed to an equation used in modeling the use of proposition in a family of natural languages.

“Yes. How did you know?” Rupali asked, with a mix of curiosity and embarrassment.

“Because you have not yet come to Lecture 20 in Prof. Sinha’s class in Advanced Statistics.”

Rupali flushed. Paritosh tracked her  academic activities closely. Even if he was her Ph. D. Guide, this was him going out of his way. But if it was awkward, Rupali didn’t mind it. Because it also made her feel very special.

“Once you have attended that lecture, it will sound basic,” he assured her.

“Everything is basic for you,” she complained drawing another amused smile from him.

“And you are unwilling to wait for that lecture. Shouldn’t I have known? Sit down. I will explain the concept to you. But the second part of the paper may still be challenging,” he warned her.

“I get it. I am not to trouble you about this paper,” she pouted, her trademark innocent school-girl pout.

“Sit down, Rupali. You don’t have to emotionally blackmail me. I will explain it,” he said.

She grinned widely as she jumped into the visitor’s chair placed across the table from him.

After he was done explaining, and answering her myriad questions, she walked out with a visible sprint in her gait. She was excited! About understanding a statistical concept!

—

A year and a half ago, Paritosh had received an e-mail from Rupali and had replied with a single word. Her e-mail had her detailed curriculum vitae attached. She had written that she had applied to his institute for a Ph. D. and she wanted to do it under him. She had also asked him that if he liked her CV, could he check the possibility of accepting her in the Ph. D. programme without her having to write GATE. GATE was the exam most leading Indian engineering colleges forced any post-graduate or  Ph. D. aspirants to write to be eligible for admissions. She thought the exam was rather stupid and a waste of time.

And all he had written in the reply was “Why?”

Rupali had jumped with joy on receiving an instant reply from him. Then she had realized that it was a one-word reply. “Why?” ‘What the hell,’ she had cursed. She was prepared for acceptance, rejection, questions or even being ignored. But “Why?” Why did someone apply for a Ph. D. program? To do a Ph. D. of course! Impulsive as she was, she had also replied in one word, but with two question marks. “Why??” And Paritosh had laughed out loud. His momentary impulsiveness had been matched fair and square. So, in the next e-mail he had patiently explained his question to her.

The only blemish on her record was that she had not made it into one of the IITs. But her projects and her undergraduate research had more than compensated for it. He himself had met her at a Machine Learning conference in Zurich once and had been impressed with her paper presentation. She had contributed to many open source projects in the field. She would have gotten admission into any university in the US. With full financial support. Not that finances were  her problem. She came from a rich business family. Why would she want to do a Ph. D. in India? None of the bright undergraduates in Paritosh’ college ever stayed back in India for Ph. D. He himself hadn’t. Rupali was better than most of them. She had already defied all the stereotypes . Indians were not supposed to be good at research, and women were not supposed to be good at Computer Science. As an Indian woman she was good at both.

“You really don’t need a backup,” he had assured her over e-mail.

She had sent a belligerent reply. “Why are you acting as if you know what my plans are? Who told you this is a backup option for me? I have applied to Stanford and CMU as a backup. If you don’t accept me, I am, of course, not going to stay in India.”

That reply had made him laugh again. Even though he had met her in person only once, he remembered how animated she got when she talked. At this point, her innocent face would also have been flushed with her irritation at him. She would be an amusing sight to behold right now, he had thought.

If she wanted to stay back in India, it was no surprise that she wanted to do a Ph. D. under him. People around him had forever wondered why he came back to India. But then, it probably didn’t matter that he did. Unlike many others, his research productivity had not suffered after returning from the US. He was actively publishing in major journals in the field, getting invited to the conferences and was a well-respected researcher. He had worked as a guest faculty at several universities in the US and Europe for short-term, though he never accepted a long-term position outside India.

Despite all that, he had considered it his duty to impress upon her that staying in India was not the best option. But doing it over e-mail was difficult. He had asked her if they could talk on phone.

“Let’s talk in person. I am flying to Delhi next week. Would you be available?” she had replied.

He was happy to be available!

She had walked in wearing a jeans and a plain t-shirt. Her shoulder length hair was tied in a pony-tail. The only accessories she had on were a pair of small ear-rings and a watch. There was no visible make-up on her. She looked like any other youngster in an Indian metro. In fact more sober than most of them. Nothing in her appearance would give away even a hint of how rich a family she came from. At least not until you noticed that all the simple-looking stuff she was wearing came from expensive brands. They were not the fake ones bought off the streets in Delhi. Paritosh couldn’t fathom why he had noticed that. Perhaps because he knew her to be rich. Her face and features were feminine and innocent, and on them, her no-frills clothes, tomboyish behavior and demanding demeanor looked unnatural. As if she was putting on an act. But over last year and a half, Paritosh had dealt with her every day. She was like that only. There was no act! And now, to him, it no longer looked unnatural. She acted like a spoiled brat most of the time. But spoiled for higher things in life. Like her academic and research achievements.

“I don’t understand you, Dr. Khanna,” she was on the offensive from the very beginning in that meeting, “Just tell me this. Would you or would you not like to have me as your Ph. D. student?”

“I would like to. But I also don’t understand you, Rupali. Why would you not want to go to the US for a Ph. D.? You do understand that career-wise that will be the best thing for you.”

“And you, of all the people, are saying that? You have done most of your research from India?”

“Yes. But even I hadn’t stayed back for my Ph. D. Plus there were personal reasons.”

“I have personal reasons too,” she had retorted, rather than replied.

“Oh!” Paritosh had hesitated, “Do you mind sharing? Only if you are comfortable.”

“I don’t mind. I got inclined towards the field of Machine Learning and Computer Science research only because of you.”

“Excuse me?”

“You would not remember. You had come to our college for a tech-talk during our annual tech festival.”

“That was what? Four years ago?”

“Yes. I was in my first year. I had just joined the college.”

“I see,” This was an unexpected turn in the conversation and Paritosh was not prepared for it.

“I had gone to IIT Kharagpur next year only to hear your talk. Then, of course, the conference in Zurich–”

“I remember that. By the way, when people say ‘personal reasons’, most of the time they mean some problem, or obligation. Not this!”

“Well. If you need a personal reason of that kind, My Mom is terrified with the idea of my even stepping out of the house. Going out of the country will give her a heart-attack. Or at least she will behave like she is getting one. So, you see! Personal reasons!”

“But if I said no, you will go to Stanford or CMU, right?”

“Yes.”

“So, Rupali. It’s not a personal reason. What you are indulging in is hero-worshipping and–”

“Oh God! Doing a Ph. D. and more outside India has not changed you much, has it? You preach like Indian parents. But you know what! I can put up with that.”

Paritosh had sighed and shook his head. She was headstrong. Right or wrong, there was no changing her mind. He gave his consent. Even worked through the administrative hassles to get her exempted from writing GATE.

“What harm can writing GATE bring?” he had tried to persuade her to just go with the system, “You will easily get a record score there!”

“Is that your way of ensuring that I go to the US?” she had retorted and he had given up on trying to tame her.

—

To be continued

Unwilling Fighter (Epilogue)

Posted Mish8 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

“Parlez-Vous Anglais?” Siddharth asked someone on their way to Jungfrau in Switzerland and drove on after hearing ‘non’ from him.

“You speak French?” Karishma asked looking impressed.

“I just asked him in a very bad accent if he spoke English,” he replied making her grin. “That shopkeeper is definitely American. He should be able to help me. I am slightly confused about the route. Just wait here.”

He got the directions and marked the place on his GPS device and then they drove on.

“This is my favourite place in Europe,” he said when they reached at the intended place, “Probably in the whole world.”

“Why?”

“When you are here, you are literally on the top of Europe,” he smiled.

“Being on top, being a winner is important to you, isn’t it?”

“And it’s not so to you?”

“I don’t care much, I guess… Being happy is more important.”

“You think I should change?”

“No. Not at all. This is what makes you happy; so why should you change?” she said, then added jokingly, “But yes – this is just the top of Europe, not the top of the world.”

“Yeah. For that we have to go to Nepal. But somehow being on top of Nepal doesn’t sound particularly exciting. Europe is a different beast,” he grinned in reply.

“Can I ask you something?” she suddenly turned serious.

“Go on.”

“I never understood something about you… Why me? I mean you are someone who likes to win and win the best. How did I ever become important to you? Why did you want to crush me? Then win me over? Then want or…”

“Love you?” he completed her sentence.

She nodded in reply.

“So you want to know my story?”

“Yes.”

“Do you remember when we had met for the first time?”

“All too well!”

“It wasn’t an accident that I had asked to meet the writing team. I had wanted to meet you.”

“What? Why?” Karishma visibly jumped in surprise.

“I had been watching the episodes of the serial… I hated it. I am sorry, but I did. And yet, every third week there was something likable about it. After poking around a bit, I figured that it was always the week when you wrote the screenplay.”

“And so you came to meet me and give me an offer for acting? Makes no sense.”

“No. I just came to meet you. And…”

“And?”

“And fell for something. Probably your defiance.”

“I was irritated, all right. You had sent the entire office in frenzy by coming when Diksha Ma’am was not there and by insisting on meeting the writers when Ritesh Sir was not there.”

“Yeah. Most people I know would just have been nervous and scared. It was different with you. And if you have seen the movie, you would know why I wanted to cast you.”

“And you assumed that I would want to act.”

Siddharth laughed, “What can I say? Obviously it sounds stupid now. But almost everyone I know in the industry comes here with acting ambitions. I could never have imagined… Anyway. You were different again.”

“And you got angry with me?”

“That’s what I thought. That you were giving attitude to me and I had to show you your place.”

“What do you mean by ‘thats what you thought’? Isn’t that the truth?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because if that were the case, when I saw you breaking down and crying, on our…” he stopped and sighed before continuing, “wedding night, I should have felt victorious, elated. But I only felt miserable.”

Karishma looked at him curiously. He gave a faint smile and continued, “That’s when I realized that… I wasn’t angry with you. I had fallen for you. Fallen so hard that… I didn’t know how to handle it. Now you shouldn’t be surprised that I probably did awkward things after that.”

“Nothing in the world can every surprise me again. This is… just… beyond… imagination,” she seemed to be struggling to find the right words to describe how she felt about it.

“Is it?”

“This is such a filmy story. I can’t believe I am a character in it.”

Siddharth laughed out loud, “So, should we make a movie on it? We can act together.”

“No way. You will have to find another actress. I will burst out laughing doing those scenes.”

“You are finding it funny?”

“Not funny… But this doesn’t sound real either.”

“You have more power over me than you realize.”

“Is it?”

“Yes.”

“Can I try to use it then?”

“Don’t misuse it.”

“I am not insisting. Just an advice…”

“Yeah?”

“Get Diksha Ma’am back. Letting go of a bit of business won’t hurt you. Make it a separate company or whatever. But it would be worth regaining the relations.”

“Hmm…”

“Ideally relationships should not be affected by business. But we don’t live in an ideal world.”

“You are not insisting, right?”

“No way.”

He smiled, “Fine. I will think about it. But the truth is… That I don’t need anyone else now. I have you.”

“Let’s just say I am trying to reduce my work,” she said jokingly.

“Getting a sister back is not going to reduce your work unfortunately,” he replied naughtily and bent down to kiss her.

– The End –

Unwilling Fighter (Part 14 – Last Part)

Posted Mish12 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

Karishma noticed that the suite in their London hotel did not have an attached twin bedroom like last time. She causally mentioned that to Siddharth. He was startled at first, then looked amused, “You have no idea what those rooms are for, do you?”

She shrugged, “What for?”

“You won’t like it, but being a writer you should know. One of your bad characters could use them some day.”

“Just tell me.”

“That bedroom had an independent entrance and from the outside, it didn’t look like it was the part of the suite. Had you noticed that?”

“Right! Oh!”

“Oh?”

“I got it.”

“Karishma,” he spoke seriously now, “It was just the default Ramesh used to book. I didn’t use it…”

“I know.”

“You know? Or you believe me?”

“Ramesh told me about… about the escort you had turned away in Delhi and after that…”

“Ramesh knows you better than I do,” he said somberly.

“He has been a good friend. That’s it.”

“I know. And I must be thankful to him for that. You must be tired. Why don’t you take a hot water bath?” he suggested.

“Good idea. But…”

“But?”

“I don’t know how to operate the bathtub.” she said with some embarrassment.

“What?” Siddharth burst out laughing, “What did you do last time then? And at home?”

“I take shower.”

“Right! Let me show you how to operate bathtub. It’s no rocket science. Come.”

—

“Karishma,” Siddharth knocked at the bathroom door, when Karishma did not come out even after forty-five minutes. There was no reply. He panicked and tried the bathroom door. Fortunately it was not locked from inside. He was scared at first to see her lying in the bathtub. Then he realized that she had fallen asleep there. Jetlag and long journey had gotten to her. He had a hard time controlling his laughter. He made to wake her up. But then seeing her sleeping so soundly decided otherwise. Leaving her in the bathtub was not a good idea though. He went back to the room and adjusted the temperature of the AC so that it was warmer. That way she would not feel the temperature difference when he brough her out of the warm water in the tub. He used several full-length towels to line one side of their bed. Then he picked her up from the tub. She did not even flinch and locked her arms around his neck. Holding her naked, wet form so close to himself made his blood rush. But he controlled his urges and laid her down on the towels. He used another set of towels to dry her gently, the shifted her to the other side of the bed. He took all the towels off the bed and covered her with the comforter. She snuggled comfortably and continued to sleep.

—

Karishma found Siddhartha sitting beside her on the bed when she woke up. He was reading something, probably the dialogues of his scenes to be shot the day after. He noticed her before she said anything.

“You are awake. Feeling better?”

She was confused. She didn’t remember falling asleep on the bed. She tried to sit up, when she realized that she did not have any clothes on. Feeling extremely conscious, she pulled the comforter closer. “How did I…”

“You had fallen asleep in the bathtub. Thank God, you didn’t know how to use it last time. Who would have rescued you otherwise?” he laughed.

“You… brought me here?” she looked scandalized.

“Yes… What happened?” he noticed her reddening cheeks as she realized that he had seen her naked and…

She just shook her head unable to say anything.

“You look like… Oh!” It suddenly occurred to him that she was extremely conscious of her body, “You have never been with… Are you a virgin?”

Karishma looked even more embarrassed, “What kind of question is that?”

“Arr…” He got worried that she might have felt bad, but then he got into teasing mode, “But I am right. Am I not?”

“So? Is it some kind of a crime?” she acted defiant to hide her embarrassment about everything.

“Absolutely not. It is an achievement.”

“Stop making fun of me…” she looked like she was on the verge of crying.

“Hey,” he said softly and cupped her face, “Don’t be crazy. I am not making fun of you. Just hoping to have some fun together. And I am sorry. I really am sorry if I came across as crass. I am sorry. Please don’t cry.”

She looked pacified as she nodded. But the embarrassment and nervousness had not gone. He figured that he had not started on the right note and decided to drop the topic for the time being.

“Get ready and then we will order some dinner. It’s almost time. Okay?”

She nodded. He got off the bed and went to the living room of the suite to give her the privacy to get dressed.

—

Their dinner was over and the trolley had been taken away by the hotel staff. Siddharth was sitting on the bed, when Karishma came out of the bathroom after changing into her night-dress. She stopped at the bathroom door, looking unsure about what to do.

“Come here,” Siddharth called out to her and made her sit next to him.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

She nodded.

“I had told you long back that I wanted you, hadn’t I?”

She gulped and did not say anything.

“And today I want you more than I had ever wanted you earlier,” he said making her gulp even harder.

“The way you had unabashedly question me about why I hadn’t touched you when I wanted you so much and everything else you had asked then – I could not imagine that this fiery girl is really so naive. And I don’t say it in a bad way. You just surprise me. Pleasantly. But now that I know this about you, I also understand that this a very vulnerable moment of your life. And you are feeling more nervous than you had expected. I took some liberties today without realizing that you might not be comfortable. I am sorry about that. And I need to know something before going ahead. Do you trust me? And are you ready to take this step?”

And there was a time when Karishma had expected this man to rape her any time. Today even as her husband, even after they had confessed themselves to be in love, he was asking her! She was so overwhelmed that she choked on her words. She realized that trying to say anything was futile. She looked up at him with moist eyes, smiled and nodded. Then she hugged him tight and let her tears wet his t-shirt.

“We need to take this off,” he pointed towards the wet spot on his t-shirt and teased her. He took off it off and went away to keep on the back of a chair. Karishma did not dare look at him. While coming back he switched off the lights. She stood up, when he came back near her. He held her at shoulder and whispered, “There is no need to be nervous. Just enjoy it along with me.” He caressed her face, followed by her neck. His hands found the knot of her gown. He untied it and slid it off her shoulder. She was wearing a negligee under her gown. He gasped audibly. He had felt the rush earlier when he had carried her from the bathtub. But still seeing her in her negligee, realizing that she had worn it on purpose and the sight she presented in the darkened room standing before him, twitching nervously drove him close to madness. Innocence and inexperience could be bewitching.

“Gosh! Karishma. I will eat you up,” he hissed and pushed her gently on the bed. ‘Go slow,’ he told himself and started kissing her all over as she lied beside him on the bed. Karishma realized that even in his almost intoxicated state, he was watching her reactions carefully and adjusting his own actions according to that. And it worked. She lost sense of time and space as he literally played with her body building up both their desires to the extreme. She didn’t even realize when he undressed himself and her completely. She became aware of the reality only when he whispered in her ears, “You are mine. Forever.” And he entered her. Despite her arousal, she was taken by surprise and it hurt. A cry slipped from her lips before she could stifle it. He withdrew immediately. “Are you okay?” he asked looking concerned.

She was embarrassed, “I am fine. Sorry…”

“It’s okay,” he assured her gently, “It happens. Just relax.” He kissed her and after a short foreplay gently penetrated her again. She was prepared this time and, after initial discomfort and awkwardness, enjoyed it. It had been a long time for him and it did not take him long to collapse on top of her.

After catching his breath, Siddharth reached out and switched on the bed lamp. He continued to lie on top of her. She squinted at sudden brightness and slowly opened her eyes as they adjusted to the light. Siddharth noticed tear stains on her cheeks. “Why are you crying?” he asked as he wiped those stains.

She smiled, “I thought you were an expert.”

“Are you challenging me?” he raised his eyebrows.

“No. I am not an idiot,” she smiled.

He bent down and kissed her forehead, “No. You are not.”

He settled himself beside her on the bed, pulled the comforter over them and propped himself up on his hand so that he could look at her directly. “Are you still mad at me?” he asked.

“For?” she was surprised.

“For what happened earlier.”

“For rescuing me from drowning in the bathtub?” she asked playfully.

He relaxed and smiled, “I guess you are not.”

“Where were you hiding all this sensitivity, Siddharth?” she asked seriously.

He stared at her for a few moments and then said, “I had apologized once in desperation, when there was a possibility that I may never be able to apologize to you at all. You were generous. You accepted it. But I must apologize properly Karishma. For everything I did to you. And especially about… your father… Because what I deprived you of, there is no way of getting it back. That time you could have spent with him… That opportunity is gone. I know I can’t undo it. But I just want you to know that I realize what I have done and will repent it my entire life.”

“That’s enough, Siddharth,” Karishma sat up. She cupped his face and replied, “It is not possible for me to say that I do not regret when I think of that time. That might never be possible. But today… even my father would have wanted me to move on. I have forgiven you for what happened. Is that not enough for you?”

“It is…. It is more than enough. It is much more than what I had ever hoped,” he replied and they hugged to seal their fate together.

– The End –

Unwilling Fighter (Part 13)

Posted Mish12 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

“You are going to UK?” Karishma was panting as she entered Siddharth’s gym in his office. He had just come out of the shower after working out.

“Karishma? What are you doing here?” Siddharth walked towards her looking concerned, “You are not supposed to run around like this yet.”

“Damn it. I took a car. Not a taxi. Why are you going?” she was agitated.

“What do you mean why? To complete the shoot.”

“But I thought you wanted…” she held herself back from the completing the sentence with ‘me to come along’. Instead she said, “I was hoping you would answer me before leaving.”

“Answer?”

“What I had asked on the day I was discharged.”

He didn’t reply immediately and looked at her silently. She felt uncomfortable and fidgeted. “I’m sorry,” she said, “It was probably inappropriate…”

“You were right Karishma,” he interrupted.

Disappointment clouded her face. He couldn’t love her. All the care was about regret and not love. She tried to smile bravely, “Right. I should have known…” That’s why he had not invited her to come to UK.

“You were right,” he repeated, “Everyone wants to spend life with someone who loves them, who can accept them. Despite being a monster, self-centered ego-maniac, I am no different. And thanks to you, I have come to realize that forcing people to be with you is not the same thing as them accepting you out of love. And unlike the middle-class boys who are happy with the middle-class girls whom they can love, even if they don’t love them back, I won’t be satisfied if my partner doesn’t love me back. So, you have to ask yourself Karishma. Will you be able to do more than just feel secure if I said I loved you? Will you be able to go beyond forgiveness and love me? If not…”

“If not?”

“I had promised you on the hospital bed that I’d let you go if you want. But I will go back on that promise. I won’t force myself on you, but I won’t let you go either.”

“You are wicked,” Karishma walked closer to him as she said this with a faint smile on her face.

“What is your answer?” He also took a step towards her. They kept walking towards each other as they talked.

“I had asked the question first. I should get the answer first.”

“That’s not happening.”

“That’s unfair.”

“I am like that. Arrogant, demanding, mean, unfair…”

“Lies. You are like an insecure, little boy.”

“Yes. I am insecure. You have to reply first. Can you love me?”

“I already do, you idiot. I have surprised myself, but I already love you.”

He cupped her face leaned towards her. He stopped when their lips were almost touching and whispered, “I love you.” Then he kissed her furiously leaving her breathless by the time they separated. He led her towards his table and handed her an envelope.

“What is this?”

“Your tickets for UK. Your VISA is still valid.”

“You… you had already booked it?”

“I was planning to ask you at home today. But you panicked…”

Karishma blushed. Then she spoke defiantly to hide her embarrassment, “For someone born and brought up in the film industry, you are too filmy in real life too.”

“What can be done? I fell for a middle-class girl, who knew nothing about film industry and was given to filmy antics. She didn’t realize how ridiculous they were in real life.”

“What filmy antics?”

“Her dialogs, when I asked her to accept me. And then she wrote such filmy stories, I just had to get her into the industry. By my side!”

She blushed again and hid her face in his chest.

“I have to finish a dubbing. Won’t take more than an hour. Can you wait?” he asked.

“I will go home…”

“No. No – I want to take you out today.”

“Where could you possibly go without being mobbed?”

“There are places, which charge not for the food, but privacy. Can you ask Ramesh to book a table for us in my favourite restaurant. He will know.”

“I am hardly dressed to go to such an exclusive place.”

Siddharth laughed, “Standing in a production house’s office, you are worried about a dress. Natasha will find something for you. Dress and whatever you need to be ready. Let me call her.” He picked up his phone, but suddenly changed his mind. “Or let it be. You go home and get ready. I will pick you up from there.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing… Just…”

“Siddharth!”

“Go home Karishma.”

“You have done this before, haven’t you?”

“What?”

“With other women?”

He sighed and smiled sadly, “Have you been spying on me?”

“What rubbish!”

“I am joking. But how did you know?”

“Once you shed your false shell, you are not that difficult to read Siddharth. And I am a writer. I can’t create characters, if I can’t read people.”

“Right!”

“But why does it bother you so much?”

“I just realized that they were… just a company for the evening… just women… they needed to look like my companion… my brand… And that’s what Natasha can create. My brand. You are… Well… You are you… My wife, of course, but not my brand. You need to look like yourself. Not like every other woman Natasha dresses up.”

Karishma almost got tears in her eyes, “You have changed beyond recognition. Or… rather the person behind that shell is nothing like anything one can guess from outside.”

He kissed her forehead. “Go home,” he said with a smile and went out to work on dubbing. Karishma recalled the time when he had forced her to wear a dress Natasha brought and she could not help wondering how things had changed.

—

“Sir, would you like to order something specific? Or should we bring the chef’s menu?” the waitress asked Siddharth at the restaurant.

“Chef’s menu is fine. But no alcohol please,” he replied. The waitress seemed surprised at the request, but she did not say anything.

“You can have your drink,” Karishma told him.

“I drink only when socially required to do so,” he replied.

“Waitress was surprised. So, you used to have it with others you brought here.”

“They weren’t you.”

Karishma smiled. That meant he could be himself, when he was with her. That was a good thing.

“Ramesh had told me that you are not much of a drinker.”

“Yes. I prefer being in control of my mind and body. Alcohol wrecks havoc on both.”

“You sound almost Gandhian, when you say that.”

Siddharth laughed. And he laughed so openly as Karishma had never seen him do.

“Was I that funny?” she asked.

“I found it funny! I have to acquiesce. Gandhi was a wise men. About alcohol at least. But wait. I assumed you do not drink. Do you?”

“No! Last time someone spiked my drink, my life had turned upside down!” she spoke in good humour, but Siddharth became serious.

“I had not spiked your drink that day…”

“I know… And I didn’t talk of it to make you feel bad… I was just joking…”

“I still don’t know who had spiked your drink. The bodyguard never confessed to doing that…”

“Let it go Siddharth. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to fight anyone, to punish people, or to take revenge. It’s just such a waste…”

Siddharth smiled and nodded.

—

He escorted her to her room after returning from the dinner.

“Sleep well, Karishma,” he said and made to go.

She was surprised and a little disappointed. He wasn’t asking her to come to his room. She could not stop herself and called him, “Siddharth!”

“Yeah?”

“I could…” she suddenly fell silent as she realized what the meaning of her proposal would be and felt shy.

“You could?” Siddharth understood what she wanted to say, but played innocent.

“Nothing… I just… I mean… I could shift to… your room…” she finally said it.

Siddharth gave his trademark smirk, went forward and pecked her on the lips. He spoke in a heavy, sensuous voice that gave Karishma goosebumps, “You are still weak Karishma. And for want of a more sophisticated word, I have to say it. I am rather horny! So, no. It’s not a good idea to have you within my reach.”

Karishma gulped hard. His proximity and his words expressing raw desire made her nervous. She stepped back to get some space, but he closed the gap and spoke again, “But three weeks is all you have. You would be better by then. And we will go to UK.”

“For the shoot,” she mumbled.

“Yeah. Sure. Of course. For the shoot,” he replied. His sweet, torturous, suggestive sarcasm was not lost on Karishma. She didn’t say anything. Finally he stepped back and left. She released her breath and realized that she had been holding it for a while.

She slept with a smile on her face that night, repeatedly recalling his words before sleeping and in her dreams.

—

To be continued

Unwilling Fighter (Part 12)

Posted Mish7 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

“Stop overworking yourself,” it was Siddharth at the door of her hospital room.

“When did you come back?”

“You had already started your walking exercise when I came and you have overshot the time advised by the doctor.”

“I want to get well quickly.”

“What’s the hurry?”

“We have to go to UK and finish the shoot.”

“UK isn’t going away!”

“You don’t understand.”

“I do. There are things… we could do once you are fit… in UK… or elsewhere…” he smirked.

“Shut up. I told you, you don’t understand. It is just one of the movies for you. But for me it is my first movie as a writer. I am eager to see it completed.”

“Right!” Siddharth smiled, “And I promise you that the post-production work will go at lightning speed. But you should not fight with your body. There is only so much strength it has…”

“You can not complain about me fighting anything, or anyone. You are the one who made me a fighter. I was a simple girl with simple dreams.”

Siddharth was amused as well as a little saddened, “You delude yourself. You were a fighter. Else you wouldn’t have enchanted me in our very first meeting like you did.”

“How come you came back?” Karishma changed the topic. The past was not a comfortable subject, “I thought you had work.”

“I postponed the meetings with distributors.”

“You didn’t need to. I am fine here…”

“I did need to…”

He is overcompensating, Karishma thought with some worry, but didn’t dwell on it.

—

“You have already seen it?” Siddharth was disappointed when he saw Karishma with the newspaper.

“What happened?”

“I… Nothing… Give me the newspaper,” he asked. She had probably not seen it yet.

“Superstar Forsakes Work to be by Ailing Wife. Refuses Meeting with Disney Executives,” Karishma repeated the headline to him. He looked embarrassed.

“You shouldn’t be reading so much. It is stressful,” he tried to take the newspaper away from her.

“No doctor told me so. I am bored of the hospital bed. Reading is my only recreation. So, are you going to find out who are all the reliable sources?”

“Huh?”

“‘Reliable sources from the hospital have informed the reporter that the superstar was even present in the operation theatre after the accident. This is something not allowed under normal circumstances, but he threw all his weight around.’ And this… ‘His refusal to make time for a short meeting with executives from the legendary Hollywood production house has generated mixed response amongst his employees. Many feel that…'”

“Stop.”

“Are you mad?” Karishma asked sincerely.

“Me? Why would I… I mean… aren’t you mad?”

“Me? I had expected worse for being the super star’s wife. This is rather kind to me. I thought it affected your rough and tough image though…”

“Blah! Articles keep coming and going. I can’t afford to keep reacting every time a story-hungry reporter comes up with some crap.”

“There isn’t much crap here though. You have been neglecting your work. You are a busy man, Siddharth. You can’t continue doing that. And I am not on my deathbed…”

“Shut up.”

“Okay. Sorry about the death thing. But refusing a meeting with Disney?”

“The real world of the film industry is not as filmy as these reporters would like to make it appear. It’s not like I sent them a dramatic note saying I don’t care about you as my wife is ill. I will fly to the US and meet these people after you are fine. I spoke to them on phone.”

“Fine. But still…”

“If you don’t want me around, you should just tell me directly.”

“Whatever I want, I am telling your directly.”

“So, you don’t mind me being around you.”

“Who doesn’t like being cared for.”

“I assume that means you don’t mind. They are going to start your physiotherapy from today. Are you comfortable with that?”

“The doctor says I am ready.”

“I asked if you are comfortable or not. If not, I will ask them…”

“Mr. Superstar,” Karishma laughed, “I can deal with you trying to be God. But trying to be a doctor can be injurious to your wife’s health.”

Siddharth smiled at her joke.

—

“How are you doing?” Ramesh asked Karishma over phone.

“Pretty well. I will be discharged today evening.”

“Yeah. About that… Karishma. Boss must attend this meeting with censor board…”

“So?”

“Disney executives are more understanding, distributors and directors will tolerate his whims. But censor board is another beast… They will order some random cuts, if he is not there to convince or pressurize them. Then he himself will be mad later.”

“Why are you telling all this to me? He knows, doesn’t he?”

“Yes. Still he is refusing to come because he wants to be there for your discharge. Can you please ask him to come for the screening before censor board.”

“Oh! I see…”

“Will you?”

“Yeah. Sure. I mean, I will try for sure…”

“Thanks Karishma.”

“Hey. Do you also have to be in the meeting?”

“Not if he goes.”

“Okay.”

—

“You have an army of staff. Just ask one of them to be with me,” Karishma argued with Siddharth.

“If I have to send a deputy, it will be for my work. Not for my personal commitments. And the reporters will hound you outside the hospital and at home.”

“And then you will be mad at everyone if the censor orders something you don’t like.”

“Well…”

“Listen. Will Ramesh be free? He can be with me. You do trust him, don’t you? And he will know how to handle media too.”

Siddharth sighed, “Fine! You are hell-bent upon sending me.”

“Yes. I am.”

—

“Won’t you come in, Ramesh?” Karishma asked when Ramesh dropped her home after her discharge.

“I have to go home Karishma. I have promised my two-year old to take him out today.”

“So sweet! I won’t detain you then. Bye. And thanks a lot.”

“Thanks to you. Else a tsunami would have hit the office tomorrow.”

Karishma just smiled in response and then went in. She was surprised to see Siddharth in her room.

“You are back?”

“Yeah. You were already discharged when my meeting got over. So, I thought I will meet you here.”

“That was a good idea. You didn’t need to come to the hospital. Weren’t you sick of the hospital? I was!” she sat down on the bed. She still had to be careful about her movements and some weakness was still there.

“I actually felt sick of this house when I came here. This place is used to your presence. Karishma…” he stopped and she looked at him questioningly. He continued, “I want you to… stay in my room. That’s your right place. If you can…”

“Siddharth!”

He held her hand and made her stand up to face him. “I am sorry. For everything I did. I was acting on some mad rage for which… I have no justification. If you would give me a chance, I promise you I will spend my life making it up to you.”

“Stop please!”

“You don’t believe me?”

“It’s not that. But…”

“But?”

“I don’t know if this is how you see things. But people want to spend their lives with someone who loves them, who can accept them. It may sound funny, but for a middle-class girl like me, being loved by him is more important than being able to love your partner. You married me out of anger, out of a need to crush me, defeat me. I appreciate it that things have changed. You have been very caring and you regret all that happened wrong. But regret is not good enough. Regret does not mean love. Under normal circumstances, you would never have thought of a girl like me. I may have taken a high moral stand against you given your behaviour. But socially and otherwise… You are on far higher grounds. Girls like me do not get husbands like you. You have to ask yourself. What you want right now – is it anything more than regret? If not – it is not a good idea. And if you just want to move on, I won’t come in your way. I won’t ask for an alimony, if we divorce. And I won’t create a media circus. I promise!”

Siddharth let her hands go and took a step back from her. He looked stunned and hurt at first, but thoughtful later.

“You need to take rest,” he said completely changing the topic, “The physiotherapist will come in the evening. I have asked the housekeeper to arrange for any equipments you might need.”

Then he went out of the room. Karishma looked after him thoughtfully. Was he angry? Or was he just considering what she had said? She realized that it was difficult for her to remain calm about this uncertainty. She wanted him to decide quickly. And decide what?

—

To be continued

Unwilling Fighter (Part 11)

Posted Mish12 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

“Ramesh! Long time…”

“Long time indeed.”

“Your boss keeps you busy I guess. I thought I would use this opportunity to meet you,” Karishma joked.

“Boss is actually surprising everyone in the office these days.”

“How so?”

“He is… being nice to people. It is giving rise to gossips.”

“Gossips? For being nice?” Karishma laughed slightly.

“Yeah. That his wife has done some witchcraft to change him.”

“Witchcraft to change someone to be nicer. That would be the job of some real witch.”

Ramesh smiled, “Something is definitely different. And you look happier too.”

“I am not fighting things, Ramesh. So long as I get to do what I like…”

“Sure. Karishma, I don’t want to intervene. But there is something I have wanted to tell you for quite some time.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s a little awkward. But please don’t get offended…”

“Don’t create suspense Ramesh. Let that job be with the writers. Come out with it.”

“You know when he had followed you to Delhi and you had refused to talk to him…”

“Yeah?”

“He was angry and well… as a not-so-nice part of my job I had arranged to call his favourite escort. He got angry and turned her away. And he asked me not to call anyone on my own… And since then I haven’t!”

It was indeed awkward. “I… don’t know… how to react to that,” Karishma said with a nervous smile.

“You don’t have to. I just had some information I thought you should know. Am not going to talk about it again. I should leave now. Can’t rely too much on boss’ nicety. Need to get back to work.”

“Thanks Ramesh. For everything.”

“Anytime.”

—

It was a hit and run case. Karishma was returning from Pune after attending a literary event. A truck hit the car from behind. The highway had no traffic at that point of time and no one saw the truck or its number. Thankfully a bike rider passed from there soon after and got help for them.

Since Siddharth reached the hospital, he hadn’t left her side. He had forced the doctors to allow him even in the operation theater. The bone fractures would take some time to heal, but they would be all right. They feared the head injury most though. “We have to wait for her to get conscious to assess the impact, if any,” they had said. He had just nodded.

He had fallen asleep by her bedside holding her hands. She was still asleep when he woke up. He bent and kissed her hands lightly. Then he buried his head in them, “Don’t leave me. I am sorry. I am sorry for everything and I will spend my life making it up to you. Give me one chance. Just one chance Karishma. If you want I will even let you go. But not like this… Come back, please….”

“Siddharth,” he heard her weak voice and looked up.

“Oh my God! You are awake… No. No – don’t try to move. I must call the doctor. Is there any pain? Of course, there is… I mean in your head… Wait… Let me…”

“Calm down,” her voice was weak, but her thoughts coherent.

“Yes… Right… I should be the one telling you to do that… Let me call the doctor.” He used his mobile phone instead of going out.

“Were you…” she started to speak after he disconnected the call.

“Don’t talk. You can’t lose your energy…”

“With all this glucose dripping into my blood…”

“Shut up. Will you?”

“Were you apologizing to me, when I woke up? Or was I dreaming?”

“I was apologizing and I will apologize a thousand times more, but please shut up for the time being.”

“Looks like I found the hard route I was supposed to take,” she smiled faintly.

“Oh God! No. Stop talking like that. I never wanted you to… Shut up. Just shut up, okay?”

“Is the driver fine?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then find out.”

“I am not going anywhere. Let the doctor come. He will tell you. Here he is… Doctor. She doesn’t stop talking. Ask her to…”

“That’s a good sign Mr. Sen, if she is talking coherently. Ma’am. Can you tell me your name?”

“Karishma.”

Doctor asked a few more questions to test her memory, general coherence and vision.

“There is nothing to worry about, Mr. Sen. She is all right. The physical injuries will take time to heal and there will be some weakness too. But she will recover in three to four weeks.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

“Doctor. How is the driver?” she asked.

“He is fine. His injuries were not severe. Truck had hit from behind. So… He had lost consciousness only for a while. In fact, he was the one who asked the motorcyclist for help.”

“Thanks.”

“What are you going to do to the driver?” she asked after the doctor left.

“Why are we talking about the driver?”

“His wife just had a baby. Don’t fire him. It wasn’t his fault.”

“I won’t. Anything else you want?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“After I recover, I want to go to UK.”

“I thought that was something I wanted.”

“So? If you want something, it becomes unthinkable for others? They can want it as well?”

“I will compromise a bit. You can want it. No one else can.”

Both of them smiled. Then he spoke again, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not losing the will to live. They say that willpower is important in recovery in such… circumstances. I was scared the entire time if you had the will to live after all I had done to you…”

“You are a complicated man, Siddharth. But you challenge me.”

“I like… I love challenging you.”

—

To be continued

Unwilling Fighter (Part 10)

Posted Mish9 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

He suddenly looked very uncomfortable, having talked as much as he did and having revealed the kind of things he did. He walked inside the house without saying anything further. Karishma looked on speechlessly. What on earth did she just hear? He fought with his sister because she insulted her. Diksha was the only person he seemed to care about. And Karishma was the one whom he had humiliated endlessly. And did he accept doing things wrong? To her? Was he feeling guilty? Was he trying to be nice to her now? And if he was, what should she do? Use his guilt to punish him for all he did to her? Or make peace with him and her own life? Forget her humiliations and insults at his hands?

She also walked inside the house and absent-mindedly walked to his room instead of hers. The door was open. She walked in noiselessly. He wasn’t in the room, but the balcony door was open. She tip-toed towards it. She could make out the his silhouette. He was sitting on an armchair. She switched on the balcony lights.

“Thanks for checking up on me. I am fine,” he said.

“How did you know it was me?” she asked. He hadn’t turned to look at her.

“I just know…”

“You had come here to feel better. Sitting alone in darkness is not going to achieve that.”

“Right,” he got up, “You want to watch TV till dinner is ready?”

“I… I don’t watch TV.”

“You used to write for TV without watching it?”

“I used to watch then…”

There was an awkward silence as Siddharth realized that she had stopped watching since he forced her out of that job.

“But I can watch…” she offered.

“I am not interested in Indian TV anyway. Let’s watch some American sitcom. I should have some DVDs lying here.”

“Sounds good.”

—

“Karishma? Is everything all right?” Siddharth was surprised and worried to see her in his office.

“Yes. Why?”

“Why did you come here?”

“Well… I had gone out… for some shopping… Thought I’d drop by.”

“Oh!”

“Oh?”

“No… I mean… It was… It is good to see you… I was about to leave… We can leave together…”

“Okay.”

“Give me five minutes”

—

“Did you tell your driver to go back”

“I had taken a taxi.”

“Taxi? Why?”

“I am not a superstar. I don’t get mobbed by people.”

“No… I meant… There are so many cars at home.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m not. In future take a car…”

“But…”

“This is not up for discussion Karishma. You will take a car when you go out.”

“And I thought that you were…”

“I was what?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t make me yell at you. Just say it…”

“Precisely this. I was wrong that I thought you were trying to be nice to me.”

“Of course, I am trying to be nice to you.”

“Because?”

“Because I did wrong things to you in past.”

“So, now you are trying to compensate?”

“Yes?”

“If I want to walk out of your life, of this marriage that was forced on me, would you let me go?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Of course not.”

“Not even if I cry?”

“No. I can’t let you go.”

“If I fight? A legal battle?”

“Then I will fight back and make sure that I defeat you. I will do anything I need to.”

“Yeah?”

“Short of hurting your mother, of course,” he added with some irritation, “You still have her holed up somewhere?”

“She is happy where she is. As much as I want her, I don’t want her to witness my messed up life.”

“Will you keep fighting me forever? Can you never think of accepting me?”

“In your arrogant self-centered world, probably the word forgiveness doesn’t exist. But in my world, I need to forgive you before thinking of anything else. And you don’t make that easy.”

“Then you have to take the difficult route.”

“Why should I?”

“Because you don’t have any other option.”

“Is this your idea of getting people to accept you? By forcing them? Leaving them with no other option? Have you heard of something like letting your love go…”

“I have heard all the corny and cheesy lines in the world. I was born and brought up in the film industry, if you care to remember. But some things happen only in movies, not in real life…”

“That’s absurd. You don’t force people to be with you. It doesn’t work like that.”

“If it hasn’t worked like that for you, you are just immensely lucky. I had to throw tantrums, threaten to do drugs or kill myself to get my father’s attention after my mother’s death. I wouldn’t have had my sister’s attention, if all of the business and most of the property was not in my name. And I wouldn’t have had that if I hadn’t convinced my father… or rather his trusted lawyer whose advice he always listened to, to do it that way in his will… And even you wouldn’t be here, if I hadn’t forced you.”

Karishma sighed audibly. He was incorrigible, “So, you think the way to get people is to force them, manipulate them and show them carrots or sticks?”

“It sounds bad when you speak from a high moral ground. But yes.”

“You don’t think you can or should let go?”

“No.”

“Tell me something, then. You had said you wanted me. Why haven’t you touched me till now? After so many months of our marriage?” He pressed the brakes hard and the car stopped with a screech, but she continued talking, “Physically, I can hardly fight you. Socially – it would be absurd if I go about complaining that my husband had sex with me. And not only now, why had you let me go even on that fateful day, when… when I had gone out to book my tickets after my father’s death and you had been furious… At that time, you didn’t even have these noble thoughts of trying to be nice to me and I was too distraught to do much to stop you. Why did you let me go?”

He waited for a couple of seconds after she was done and then asked her angrily, “Are you finished?”

She just reclined back in her seat and sighed again. Something was broken in him and she just had to deal with it.

“Take a car next time you go out,” he said when they reached home and strode away to his room.

—

He walked into her room and sank down on the couch.

“You look tired?” she asked.

“Diksha doesn’t want to work with the company anymore.”

“Why?”

“She said there is no point in working for a company she doesn’t own anything in. She is going to France and joining her mother in the fashion business”

“She doesn’t own anything Sen Motion Pictures?”

“No.”

“And you don’t think it would be worth giving her some shares to keep her happy?”

“I can’t let anyone blackmail me about the business. She can make money, all right. But I don’t think she values the business the way Dad did or I do. I have let her do her thing. But I can’t let her have the right to decide.”

“Hmm…”

“I will need someone to run the TV division. Will you take the job up?”

“What?”

“I need someone trusted to run the show there.”

“I… I am sorry. But – no.”

“Why not? It would be a great opportunity.”

“Yes. But you have to understand, I am not an ambitious business-woman. I don’t have the ability you or Diksha Ma’am have. I am just happy editing the manuscripts or writing stories and screenplays. Just because I am your wife doesn’t make me eligible to run a business like that.”

“Hmm…”

“I’m sorry. You will have to find someone else or figure out how to keep Diksha Ma’am from leaving.”

“You can stop calling her Ma’am! She is so much younger to me.”

“She is younger to me too. But a personal relationship is not what we share. So…”

“I see. And what do you call me these days? Boss? Sir?”

“I… I haven’t called you anything in a long time,” Karishma replied awkwardly.

“Whenever you decide to call me anything next time, it better be my name, my first name.”

Karishma didn’t reply.

“And would you like to work on another screenplay?”

“Another one? You still have your shooting to finish for the last one. When are you going to UK?”

“When you agree to come with me.”

“What? That’s not fair…”

“On whom?”

“On… I don’t know.”

“There is a story I have gotten from a new writer. Not a rom-com. But good multiplex-audience kind. If you want to have a look, call Ramesh and get a copy. I think you should write the screenplay. It would be a good experience and good progress in your career too.”

“I will call him.”

—

To be continued

Unwilling Fighter (Part 9)

Posted Mish11 CommentsPosted in English, Inspired, Karishma-Siddharth

“Your crutches,” Siddharth came back later in the evening, “You can use them to go to the bathroom. No more walking than absolutely required though, okay? You want to use them now.”

She nodded. It was a little awkward at first to use them, but Siddharth helped her get used to it. She freshened up and washed her face in the bathroom.

“I’m sorry,” she said after she was settled back in the bed.

“You don’t need to be.”

“I panicked.”

“I know. And can I tell you something?”

She nodded.

“I might be a monster… to you. But this monster could not break you. What broke you was an imaginary monster you had created in your head. He was… well… beyond even me… I didn’t like this imaginary monster breaking you. In fact, I don’t like anyone breaking you. Not even myself.”

Karishma stared at him blankly. What was he saying? Was he… changing? Had he changed already?

“There are no games here,” he added after a pause.

“I still hate you,” Karishma said almost involuntarily.

“I know. But that doesn’t mean I would let you go.”

“Why not? If you don’t want to…”

“I think you need to eat, take your medicines and sleep. I will order dinner.”

—

“I don’t know where you have sent your mother,” Siddharth told her when they reached back to Mumbai, “But if it is to someplace she didn’t want to go or is uncomfortable, you should get her back.”

Karishma nodded feeling awkward. Suddenly the idea that she needed to protect her mother from him sounded ridiculous. And yet – just couple of days back, it hadn’t been so. She was really worried then.

She spoke to her mother. Though she missed her daughter, she was enjoying her time in the village. “I find such peace in the kuldevi’s temple. I just spend hours there,” she had told her. Unless Karishma really needed her, she would like to spend couple of more months there. Karishma didn’t insist. Her own life was in such a confused phase that it was better handled alone. If her mother was around to question all the oddities, it would become more difficult.

—

“Pack an overnight bag,” Siddharth came to her room and told her, while she was busy with her editing assignments.

“Excuse me?”

“We are driving to Lonavala and will come back tomorrow.”

“What for?”

“Just want to spend some time there.”

“I am not going anywhere.”

“Why not?”

“Just because you are not torturing and threatening me now, all is not cool between us.”

“Just because I am not torturing and threatening you now, I won’t take a no for an answer every time. You can either pack, or you will have to do with whatever is there in the bunglow there. It may not be much.”

“What the…”

“Half an hour!”

—

“I always drive here myself. The road is lovely,” he announced, rather than speak to her. The body-guards were following them in another car.

“How does it feel? To have this obsession? To hate someone and yet not letting them go.”

“Is that possible? To hate someone and not let them go?”

“You should not be asking that question. You are the one who does it the best.”

“I don’t hate you. I destroy the people I hate. I just… want you.”

Karishma fell silent. She didn’t know how she should reply to that. He wanted her! Is that why he had brought her with him? His huge mansion in Mumbai was always filled with office staff, people he had to meet and the house staff. Complete seclusion was not possible. If she resisted, he would find it awkward to force himself on her. Now she was alone with him and would be at his mercy. So, he could rape her. Not that she cared though. Thanks to the marriage, it would at best be a fulfillment of his lust, and he could not use it as a threat or a weapon against her.

—

“Bro? What a surprise! And with his not-so-newly-wed-wife!” They found Diksha in the bunglow already.

“Diksha! Mind your language.”

“How touchy Bro! Just like the heroes you portray on-screen, isn’t it? Anyway. If you want I will leave. You are not quite in a mood for family reunion, I see.”

“Why would you leave Ma’am?” Karishma interrupted, “This is your house too.”

“Actually no,” Siddharth replied icily, “This house is in my name. It’s mine. And since you seem to be hell-bent upon insulting my wife Diksha, it’s better that you leave right away!”

“Thanks a lot for reminding me about the property division!” Diksha barked and went to her room to start packing.

“You can use that room,” Siddharth told her after Diksha left, “The caretaker stays nearby. I will call him. Let him know if you need anything.” He wasn’t forcing her to share a room with him!

—

Diksha’s behaviour had not come as a surprise to Karishma. Even before leaving for UK, she had tried to get Diksha to help with the movie production that was stalled. But she had been least interested, in fact curt and rude. The sun had set by the time Karishma freshened up. She went out of her room and saw Siddharth standing in the lawn. He was facing away from the house, so she could not see his face. She approached him. He turned on hearing her footsteps.

“Dinner will take time. We can have tea and some snacks meanwhile,” he pointed towards a table laid out nearby, “Caretaker is in the kitchen. If you want something else, you can tell him.”

“I am fine.”

“Why is she angry with you?” Karishma asked after a while.

“Did the other possibility ever occur to you? That I could be angry with her?”

“That was a given. I have stopped trying to find reason behind you being angry with people.”

“Right,” he replied bitterly, “I guess there is no point in having this conversation.” He got up and walked away to another corner of the lawn.

Despite herself Karishma felt bad for him. She shouldn’t, she reminded herself. He was a monster, who didn’t care for people. If he was in pain, he deserved it. And for all she knew, it was just another act on his part. Could he feel pain? Could he feel anything at all? But finally, she could not help following him.

“I am sorry, I did not mean to hurt you,” he was facing away from her and did not turn this time.

“That’s not true. You did mean to hurt me. I am the reason of all your miseries. It…”

“Look,” she walked around to face him and was surprised at the sight. Although his voice gave no hint of this, his eyes were filled with tears. She was visibly startled and then moved away from there. What should she do? Feel happy that he is suffering, whatever be the reason. Or try to ease his pain, like she would do with anyone else. She came back to where the tea-table was laid and sat down. He also came back after a while, looking more composed.

“Why are you angry with your sister?” she asked.

“Let it be. It was not the reason I was…” his voice trailed. He couldn’t bring himself to say that he was crying.

“Then why? Is it something about this place?”

“It had created a huge media circus at that time. People move on from one news to the other. But I can’t. It was my mother who had committed suicide in this house when I was twelve years old.”

“I am sorry!” Karishma said sincerely. Both of them didn’t say anything for a while. Then she spoke again, “You… want to talk about it?”

“Talk what? Why did it happen? Where will that talk end? With a blame either on my father or on my mother.”

“When I think of my father’s death, I only think of the sadness, grief, loneliness and loss me and my mother felt. Whether his illness, his death was fair or unfair, whether it could have been otherwise, whether he didn’t have good enough doctors, whether something or somebody could have prevented it, whether there was someone responsible for it, whether I hate you for not letting me meet him before his death, all of these are secondary. The things I have to come to terms with, and I think I have done it more or less, are my own feelings, my sadness and grief on his loss. Other things either can not be changed, or can be dealt with separately. Acknowledging your feelings and dealing with them are most important.”

“Your father had died before you left?”

She nodded.

“The same day that…”

“Yes. But that is not the point right now.”

“How much do you hate me?”

“Why are you asking this?”

“You want to walk out right now, right? You wish I were rather dead or…”

“Shut up. I don’t wish anyone dead.”

“But you do hate me.”

“I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know how I feel about you. You… you just confuse me to no end. Till sometime back, I would have known. Now – I am just confused. The man I have seen in last few days, the man I have seen today… I don’t know… He is not the same man who I obviously hated…”

“Thanks”

“Thanks?”

“That’s more than what anyone else in your position would have said.”

“What’s going on? Why did you want to come to this place? It doesn’t seem to do you any good at all?”

“It usually does. Today everything is going haywire.”

“Because I am here?”

“No. Because of Diksha…”

“And why so?”

“I had… expected too much from her.”

“Expected what?”

“That she would grow up to be someone I could be friends with. But I never meant as much to her as she meant to me.”

“She is much younger to you, isn’t she?”

“Yeah. Fourteen years.”

“Fourteen. Didn’t you say your mother died…”

“My father had remarried. She is my step-sister…”

“Sorry. I had no idea.”

“Old stories. Media has moved on.”

“Where is her mother?”

“In France. My father and she divorced a few years later.”

“She goes to France to meet her,” Karishma recalled Diksha’s absences from the office, which the employees knew as her Paris shopping trips.

“Yes. She was never as invested in me as I was in her…”

“She has a mother she seems close to. She is much younger to you. It’s not fair to expect her to be like you… People can’t just be what you want them to be…”

“I couldn’t help expecting. But I didn’t demand anything from her. And it was all right between us. But…”

“What went wrong?”

“She didn’t understand things I did… She didn’t even try to… I did wrong things… But she didn’t try to correct me by understanding me… She accused me… And she…” he suddenly fell silent.

“What?” she urged him.

“She insulted you. I lost it after that.”

“What!” it was an exclamation this time and not a question.

—

To be continued