Ultimate Reunion (Part 3)

Posted Mish4 CommentsPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

She was already there when he walked into the practice room. She was more relaxed today, assured that she was there in time. She folded her hands in greeting and Mukundo nodded.

“Get the Tanpura,” he told her, “We will start in five minutes. My daughter may join us.”

She followed his instructions and sat down with Tanpura. She tuned it, then addressed him hesitatingly, “There was something I wanted to tell you.”

“Yes?”

“Learning from you, even one lesson, is nothing short of a dream coming true for me. And I understand how big an opportunity it is for me to be here. I’m really sorry that I was late on the first day. But I want to assure you that I don’t shy away from hard work and it won’t happen again.”

Mukundo was in a good mood having seen his daughter and now expecting her during the practice. He was amused. “Did you write that down and memorize it?” he asked with arched eyebrows. From the way she had spoken, it was clear that she had practiced that little speech.

She startled and fidgeted. This wasn’t the response she was expecting at all and was at a loss about what her response should be. Mukundo gave a slight chuckle, but before he could say anything to reassure her, Sumedha ran in. “Baba. I am in time, right?”

“Yes. Shona. You are in time. Come here.”

“Who is she, Baba?”

“She is Piyali. She is also very hard-working like you.” Their eyes met for a moment, and Piyali could read genuine reassurance in his. That relaxed her and she was ready for the practice.

“I need an alarm for six ‘o clock,” he announced, then turned to his daughter, “Can you get an alarm clock, Sumi?”

“I know how to put an alarm in your mobile.”

“My mobile is switched off. Someone may disturb…”

“Nobody will call at this hour, Baba,” she said and took the mobile out of his pocket. “I set the alarm. Will you start now?”

“Yes,” he patted her head.

Seeing Sumedha take such liberties with Mukundo brought a slight smile to Piyali’s lips. And it also brought back the memories. Of her father.

“Shall I follow you?” she asked.

“No. We can do that with others. Let me hear you sing Bhairava. I will be on tabla,” he replied.

She closed her eyes, thought of her father and silently asked for his blessings. Then she started with aalaap.

“Do that again. Ni-Sa-Ga-Ma-Pa… You can improvise.”

“Try dedh gat.”

“Teevra… not shuddha…”

He helped her by correcting her, pushing her to improvise, and try difficult rhythms. She had been right in claiming that she didn’t shy away from hard work. When she didn’t get something right, or to his satisfaction, she tried and re-tried until she did it the way he wanted. Since he was not singing with her, he was aware of the time and surroundings. At six he didn’t need the alarm. He stopped her practice and had Sumedha unset the alarm before it rang. His other three students walked in just then and they restarted the practice together. Even Sumedha joined them while they practised simpler things.

—

“Can I have your mobile number? I needed…” he asked her the next day. Sumedha couldn’t get up and they were on their own.

“Yeah,” she was surprised at the request, but complied immediately and also noted down his number.

“I had wanted to call you.”

“Why?”

“I made fun of what you said yesterday. I didn’t mean to… I appreciate your sincerity.”

“That’s fine, Mukundo Babu. I didn’t think anything of it. You don’t need to explain.”

“That’s good. When your aim is to learn, you shouldn’t get distracted by petty things.”

“Yes. It was good that you joked about it. It makes you more human. I am a little less scared of you now,” she said and immediately wondered if she had taken too much liberty.

Mukundo was surprised at first, but then looked amused. “Shall we start?” he asked still smiling.

She nodded and got the Tanpura.

—

Gayantri Devi was lying on a cot in her veranda. Mukundo awkwardly stopped in his tracks on noticing Piyali seated beside her.

It had been a few weeks since Piyali had started learning under him and he had thought it appropriate that he should acknowledge Gayatri Devi for her thorough training. But with Piyali around… Piyali herself jumped out of the cot on seeing him. But she regained her composure quickly and greeted him with folded hands. “Nomoshkaar, Mukundo Babu.”

“Nomoshkaar,” he replied managing to put up a graceful smile and proceeded to greet Gayatri Devi. “Nomoshkaar, Gayatri Ma.”

“Mukundo! How nice to see you. It has been ages.”

“You haven’t been coming to concerts and programmes for ages.”

“I can hardly get up by myself these days. Piyali. Shona, will you please bring a chair for Mukundo? Or just ask Munni to bring one.”

“I will bring one,” she replied and went inside. Piyali was quite at home here, Mukundo noted.

“Ma told me you were not well,” Mukundo started conversing with her.

“It’s the age, son. It’s the time to pass the baton. I am so happy that you have taken Piyali under your wing. This girl has great potential. Like her father.”

“Her father?”

“You wouldn’t know probably. His name was Debendra Banerjee…”

“I have heard that name… From Pandit ji.”

“A brilliant man. Not worldly-wise, though. Didn’t know how to run his life. But left his daughter with a deep love for music.”

“I must thank you for recommending her. She is indeed good,” he acknowledged unhesitatingly.

Piyali came back with the chair and asked Gayatri Devi, “Shall I get some tea, Ma?”

“Not for me,” Mukundo refused, “I am fine.”

“How can that be, Mukundo? I don’t remember when you had come home last time. You must have some tea. Tell Munni Piyali…”

“Yeah,” Piyali went in a second time and came out soon. Munni, the house help, brought tea and snacks after a while. Mukundo and Gayatri Devi kept talking. About music, about people in the field, concerts, awards… Piyali remained silent through the conversation. She was in an august company… And feeling quite out-of-place.

Interjecting when there was a pause in conversation, she said politely, “Ma. I will leave now. I have to take Priyendra to the doctor.”

“Oh. Right. Poor, little thing. Flu it is, isn’t it? Okay my child. Do come again soon.”

Piyali nodded and touched her feet.

Mukundo also got up. “It’s time for me to leave too.”

“So soon?”

“Have to meet somebody. I will come again,” he said as he touched Gayatri Devi’s feet and then turned to Piyali, “How will you be going?”

“I will take a bus… or tram…”

“I can drop you home.”

She jerked back in surprise, so visibly that Mukundo hesitated for an instant. He hadn’t said anything inappropriate, had he?

“No, Mukundo Babu. I will be fine. And from here, my home is in the opposite direction to yours.”

“I have to go in the opposite direction only. Come with me. It’s not a problem.”

“Go with him, Piyali. It will save you some time. What is the harm?” Gayatri Devi supported Mukundo and that sealed the deal.

—

To be continued

Ultimate Reunion (Part 2)

Posted MishLeave a commentPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

Next morning Piyali was there at Mukundo’s place fifteen minutes ahead of time. She was already waiting for him when he walked in at five minute to five. He was startled for a moment because he hadn’t expected her to come back.  But he concealed his surprise well. He motioned towards the Tanpura. She picked it up, sat down on the carpet and tuned it. Then they started the practice.

Mukundo corrected her when needed, demonstrated the improvisations to her. After about forty five minutes, however, he stopped interrupting and just asked her to sing after him. Immersed in the singing, they were soon lost to the world. When they finally came to themselves, it was quarter to eight. Mukundo looked around and saw his other students sitting at some distance from them, listening intently. They must have come at their usual time! Then his eyes met with Piyali’s and confusion washed over both their faces. What had just happened? How did they lose themselves like that?

When Piyali grew conscious of other people sitting in the room, her face coloured. “Shall I leave now?” she asked meekly.

He just nodded. Piyali put the Tanpura back in place and left wordlessly, leaving Mukundo behind to explain, or to not, to his students what had just happened.

—

“If you have to give your life after music, don’t die twice as quickly by working so hard at other things as well,” Debangi Banerjee, Piyali’s mother, was annoyed with her. But she also worried about her.

“What are you saying, Ma?”

“You left at four in the morning. You are coming back at eight. You will fall ill at this rate. Stop giving tuitions in the evening. We can do without that money.”

“I know it isn’t much, Ma. But it, at least, covers Priyendra’s school fee.” She herself had her college tuition fee waived off on a merit scholarship. Priyendra was her younger brother who was still in school.

“You have only twenty-four hours in a day, like all of us. And you won’t give up music. Then stop abusing your body. It needs rest.”

“In two hours, that’s exactly what I am going to get, Ma. And Ma. Please stop worrying. I am not going to be like Baba. This is my promise, not just to you, but to myself too. I am not expecting music to earn my livelihood. It’s less than two years now. As soon as I graduate, I will find a job and you won’t have to worry any longer.”

“Not like him,” Debangi muttered under her breath, when Piyali went away to freshen up, “This craze for music and she is not going to be like him!” Then she hollered, “Will you have tea? Or shall I serve dinner directly?”

“I need tea, Ma. Have to study for a while. Don’t wait on me for dinner. I will take it before sleeping.”

Debangi had been running the family by taking up sewing and knitting for neighbours since her husband had died. Even when he lived, he could not have been bothered with earning livelihood, so occupied he was in his pursuit of music. Music for music’s sake. He could never think of making money from it. But some money kept coming because he always had students, most of whom, thankfully, paid on their own accord. But when he died in an accident, there were no savings to resort to. Financial planning could hardly be expected from someone who didn’t know how to make money in the first place.

Piyali was old enough at that time, about fourteen, to understand all this. She understood her mother’s frustrations; her disappointment in her husband as well as music. But for good or for bad, her father had instilled the love for music in her. It was her life, her soul. She couldn’t have given up on it. Despite knowing how irresponsible he had been, she couldn’t hate her father. She had just vowed to not be like him – in the matters concerning responsibility towards the family.

—

Mukundo woke up at four in the morning as was his habit. Instead to going to the bathroom immediately as he usually did, he stayed put on the bed for a while. He looked at his sleeping wife. What a disappointment his marriage had been. He hadn’t been sure about it in the first place. But it was Pandit ji’s wish. “You are the son I never had,” Pandit ji had said, “She has my blood. You have my music. If you come together, you will carry my legacy forward.”

Mukundo wondered if it hadn’t been too selfish on Pandit ji’s part. To have such whimsical ideas about carrying the legacy. How had marrying Aporna helped him in carrying the legacy forward? As far as he could see, he was doing in single-handedly. She had never been interested in music. She couldn’t tell her teevra ma from shudha ma. She couldn’t even tell sa from re. And Pandit ji, who used to be so strict with his students, had never as much as raised his voice at her. He had essentially let her do whatever she wanted. He was probably too conscious of her being raised motherless and had ended up spoiling her in trying to make up for her mother’s loss.

There was one thing that she liked about music. The glamour that came with it. It had come to Pandit ji and it had come to him. And it was probably to continue to be a part of that glamour that she had married him. The stage performances and adulation that followed had her beaming. She used to accompany her father in all his stage appearances and all his media interviews. She did the same with him after marriage. She would never bother to listen to him when he practiced, but she had her clothes and jewellery ready for every stage performance. She might not have time for him otherwise, but always had time to sit beside him during the interviews as loving and proud wife, adding her charming comments here and there. These days they hardly ever shared an intimate moment. In the beginning, his youth and his romantic and physical needs had made him seek her out. But over time that need had fizzled. The camaraderie that should have taken the place of youthful passion in the relationship had never developed between them. A strange resentment had come in instead. Neither of them could have put their fingers on what exactly they resented about the other. But they did. Outwardly, one could point out that it was because of their widely different feelings about music. But somewhere Mukundo knew that it wasn’t the case. He connected better with many friends who had nothing to do with music than he connected with his wife. Yes! That was it. There was no connect. Not through music, not through anything else. It was a strangely indifferent relationship. He was grateful to Pandit ji for a lot of things. But this was something he shouldn’t have done to him. His guru-dakshina had been too pricey. It had ended any possibility of him ever finding a partner, a soul-mate, or even some straight-forward romance.

—

“Baba,” Sumedha, his eight-year-old daughter peeped out from the adjacent room, when Mukundo stepped out of his bedroom, “Can I join your practice?”

Mukundo smiled affectionately, “You are up already? Brushed your teeth?”

“No. But I can do that quickly.”

“Okay,” he looked at his watch, “You have ten minutes. If you can make it before five, come in the practice room. But if you get late, you must not disturb, okay?”

“Okay Baba. I will not be late.”

Mukundo loved his daughter. She was his comfort and reassurance. She was already making good progress with her music lessons, and unlike her mother, she didn’t mind discipline and hard work. These days, she was even trying to get up early to join him in the morning practice. Today, he was going to get her company. And then there was someone else’s company too! He sighed as he thought of her. What on earth had happened yesterday? He did sometimes lose himself while singing, but that usually happened when he was alone, never when he was with somebody. Well, not until yesterday anyway.

—

To be continued

Ultimate Reunion (Part 1)

Posted Mish5 CommentsPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

“Hmm…” Mukundo was impressed, but held back on his appreciation. “Too much praise, too early, goes to a young student’s head. It is the job of a guru to be critical so long as there is anything to be critical about. That’s how he pushes the student towards perfection,” Pandit ji, his Guru, had told him. Everything Mukundo knew about music and teaching, he had learned from him.

Piyali’s nervous and questioning eye met his. She had big eyes, the most prominent and alluring feature on her thin, oval face. Her wheatish skin was smooth and had the radiance that betrayed her youth despite the maturity of her singing.

“What do you do?” he asked. She had just sung Raga Marwa for him.

“I am studying. B. Sc. Mathematics. 2nd year.”

Eighteen, at most nineteen years old, Mukundo guessed. Her music education till then had been good, as was evident from her performance. And she was still young enough to be coached into scaling further heights. He could take her under his wings.

“You will need a lot more practice.”

Her face clouded over. Can’t take criticism? Mukundo wondered inwardly. But Gayatri Devi would have been a strict teacher too.

“I will do my best, Mukundo Babu,” she replied looking determined. The cloud had passed.

He nodded. “You can come at six in the morning.” It was the time he gave to his best students. There were only three others in that group right now. He was placing her there. Piyali’s heart leapt at the idea. But she stayed composed on the outside. “We generally practice till nine,” he added.

The cloud came back and this time he couldn’t ignore it. “What happened? You do realize that learning music is hard work. And I don’t like compromises.”

“It’s not that, Mukundo Babu. Just that at 8.30 I have to…”

“Come at five, then. If you can…” Mukundo threw a challenge her way. It was a good opportunity to test her sincerity. He had almost expected her to withdraw. Other students in his morning batch barely managed to come at six. They would still be sleepy when they walked in. If they did come in time, it was only because of his reputation for being strict and turning away the students who reached even a minute late.

She looked at him agape for a moment. Five in the morning! Did he really mean it? Did he wake up by then? He appeared impassive. This was no joke! She took a deep breath and said, “Fine. I will be here at five.”

—

“Sonali. Sonali! Guess who is going to teach me from now on?” Piyali was exultant when she met her best friend on the way to college.

“Mukundo Babu accepted you?”

“Yes! And in the morning batch.” Sonali knew exactly what that meant. Ever since the possibility of Piyali joining Mukundo Thakur had come up, not a single day had passed when Piyali wouldn’t fill her up with all kinds of information about “Mukundo Babu”. Undoubtedly Mukundo Thakur was the most adulated classical singer of his generation in the city, and probably in the entire country. But Piyali’s veneration bordered on obsession.

“Congratulations! And how exactly are you going to manage all of it?”

“I managed with Gayatri Ma, didn’t I? It was she who spoke to Mukundo Babu’s mother about me.”

“I know that. But you yourself accept that Gayatri Ma has always been extra-ordinarily sweet to you. She adjusted her own time for you…”

“I know, Sonali. I know all too well. But anyway. I am going there at five in the morning. It won’t clash with anything else. Even the first tuition I have to give is at 8.30. I will leave at eight…”

“Five in the morning?” Sonali was incredulous, “How will you manage?”

“I will. Don’t worry.”

“And what does Kaki have to say about it?”

Piyali sighed, “You know very well. Ma never likes anything I do about music…”

“And still, you do…”

“So, what do you think? I am a bad daughter?” Piyali smiled sadly.

“You know what! Sometimes I do think that way. But then, most of the time I just marvel at you. Despite everything, you do not give up on music. Your classes, housework, tuitions to help run the house… And you still find time for music lessons and practice! I wish I were that obsessed about something.”

“I can’t give up my music. I love Ma, Sonali. You know I do. At least you should know that I do. Without her, we would have been on footpaths. But I am my father’s daughter too. And music is my life, my soul.”

“Sorry!” Sonali smiled in embarrassment, “I sometimes take the arguments too far. But you have my support. Don’t worry.”

Piyali also smiled. Sonali and she had been friends since childhood. Sonali always questioned her decisions. But at the end of the day, she did have unconditional support from her friend.

Piyali’s jubilation had vanished the next day.

“What happened? You went to Mukundo Babu, today. Didn’t you?”

“He turned me away.”

“Why?”

“I was late.”

“Late?”

“By two minutes!”

“Arr… For two minutes? At five in the morning…”

“I said the same thing and he had a reply ready.”

“Which was?”

“In music, if you are late by two seconds, you have missed the right time for the right note… and everything is spoiled.”

“What the… Even for all his reputation, this is…”

“But he is right, Sonali…”

“Come on. This is ridiculous…”

“This is discipline. And not only music, everything in life needs discipline…”

“What now?”

“I have one more chance. If I get late again, he won’t teach me.”

“And you are going to go back, of course?”

“Of course.”

—

“How was your new student?” Mohima Thakur asked her son during dinner.

“Not disciplined for sure. I had to turn her away today.”

“She was late?”

“Yeah.”

“By two minutes, Ma,” Aporna, Mukundo’s wife, interjected. “And he turned the poor girl away. I don’t know about music, but Baba has definitely passed on his fanaticism to him.”

“Aporna! If you can’t be respectful towards your father, at least be respectful towards my Guru,” Mukundo glared at her. Aporna just shrugged.

Mohima sighed. May God be with the girl, she prayed for Piyali. Gayatri Devi had sounded so fond of her. She had known her father and after his death and taken over as her music guru. But her own health was failing her now. “I don’t care so much about others, Mohima. But this girl deserves the best. She still has a lot to learn and she is keen to learn. Pandit ji is not alive now. So, I can only look to Mukundo. He should hear her sing once. And then he can decide whether or not he wants to teach her,” she had said.

“But Ma. You know that all my students start early…”

“She hasn’t been sitting around, Mukundo. She has been training since she was a child. First under her father, then under Gayatri Devi.”

“So what?”

“Don’t be so arrogant, my son. Gayantri Devi and Pandit ji were good friends. They respected each other so much. If she is recommending her, you should give her one chance, as a gesture of respect towards Gayatri Devi. She deserves that much.”

Mohima had a point and Mukundo had to agree to her.

“She won’t be able to pay though.”

“You know I don’t care about that.”

—

To be continued

Sacrifices (Part 19)

Posted Mish4 CommentsPosted in Ashni (KTLK), Fan Fiction, Hinglish

Nidhi felt stupid. She hadn’t told him who she was getting engaged to! She babbled, “Matlab… meri aur Dr. Ashutosh ki engagement hai. Ab… main chalti hoon, Sir. Aap zaroor aaiyega.” Nidhi dashed off not heeding Mathew, who was asking her something.

She slumped on a chair in the corridor and sent an SMS to Ashutosh, “Maine invite karne ka kaam kar diya hai. Baaki aap sambhaaliye.”

—

“Hello Ashutosh,” Mathew sounded perplexed, “Ye… Dr. Nidhi Verma abhi aayi thi mere office mein…”

Ashutosh was expecting the call. He had seen Nidhi’s SMS. “Yeah. I know,” Ashutosh chuckled.

“So, she wasn’t joking? Ya phir tum bhi is prank mein shaamil ho?”

Ashutosh laughed out loud, “Koi prank nahin hai, Mathew. Hum kyon mazaak karenge tumhare saath? Tumhein to thanks bolna chahiye ki tumne mujhe guest lecture ke liye invite kiya. Just make sure you keep your Sunday free.”

“Maine tumhein invite kiya. Tum Dr. Nidhi se mile. Ek hafte yahan rahe. Aur bas? Aise achanak?”

“Achanak kyon hoga? Hum ek saal saath mein the…”

“Haan… To pichhle dedh saalon mein tum kahan the? Aur Dr. Nidhi bhi hardly Lucknow jaati thi… It has to be a prank. Doesn’t make sense. Kya kar rahe ho tum?”

Ashutosh laughed again, “Koi prank nahin hai, Mathew. Main tumse Delhi aa kar baat karta hoon.”

“Okay…. Lekin… Iska matlab tum is wajah se AIIMS join kar rahe ho?”

“Yes, Dr. Mathew,” Ashutosh replied with mock formality.

“Cool. Achchha hai. See you soon, then.”

—

“Nidhi,” Armaan beamed on seeing Nidhi on the engagement day and gave her a side hug, “Thank you so much. Aakhir tumne sab theek kar hi diya.”

“Aap mujhe thank you kyon bol rahe hain, Dr. Armaan? This is so absurd,” Nidhi smiled sweetly.

“Thank you mere dost ko wapas zinda karne ke liye, Nidhi.”

“Kya baatein chal rahi hain tum dono ke beech?” Ashutosh came there wearing a broad smile, which announced his exhilaration.

“Main Nidhi se poochh raha tha ki mere saath bhaagne ka kya legi?”

“Dr. Armaan…” Nidhi blushed heavily at the joke.

“Usse tum mujhe nahin dara sakte, Armaan. She is quite a handful. Ghante bhar mein wapas kar jaoge tum,” Ashutosh’ unrestrained laughter and good humour brought a pleasant surprise to both Armaan and Nidhi.

Mathew walked in with his wife Roselyn and their six year old son George at that moment. His wife was also a doctor in orthopaedics department. Ashutosh went forward to welcome them.

“Hi Mathew, Roselyn. Thanks so much for coming,” Ashutosh welcomed him warmly.

“Honestly, Ashutosh, main yahan aate hue bhi Roselyn se kah raha tha ki it is some big, elaborate prank. Mujhe abhi bhi bharosa nahin ho raha hai…”

“Isliye to tumhein sab witness karne ko bulaya hai. Aao.”

Baba also welcomed Mathew. Mathew and Roselyn met Nidhi and congratualated her. Roselyn stayed with Nidhi, while Mathew, Armaan and Ashutosh went to the balcony with drinks.

Armaan volunteered to tell Ashutosh and Nidhi’s story to Mathew, “Aur Ashutosh. Jo gap rah jaye, woh tu fill kar dena.”

Ashutosh laughed, “Nahin. Jitna tujhe pata hai Armaan, woh kissi ko bhi batane ke liye kaafee hai.”

“Yes. Dr. Mathew. Baaki ki baatein private hain,” Armaan winked and they all laughed.

Mathew listened in silence and fascination as Armaan narrated the entire story as much as he knew.

—

“Are Anji. Ye itna saara kya dho kar le ja rahi hai?” Nidhi noticed Anji struggling with two huge baskets.

“Woh sab Dadi Bua se pooch, Nidhi. Kuchh rasmon ka saamaan hai. Aur Ye Dr. Armaan ko dena hai. Supposedly un logon ko le kar aana hai.”

“Achchha. Chal main teri madad karti hoon le jaane mein.”

“Tu rahne de, Nidhi.”

“Come on, Anji. Chal.”

Nidhi picked up the ligher basket and they walked to the balcony.

—

“So, as far as I read the situation, operation ke baad Nidhi ke father maan gaye,” Anji and Nidhi stopped in their tracks on hearing Mathew’s voice, “I can see where he is coming from. And it is probably an inappropriate question to ask today, Ashutosh. Lekin mujhe pahle kabhi mauka hi nahin diya tumne. Tumne faisla jaldbaazi mein to nahin le liya?”

“No. No. Dr. Mathew,” Armaan spoke before Ashutosh could, “Aapne is dono ko dekha nahin hai saath mein. Aur phir alag-alag – kitne dukhi rahe hain. These considerations don’t exist in their world.”

“Armaan is right, Mathew,” Ashutosh spoke slowly and firmly, “Pyaar koi len-den to nahin hota. Main itna jaanta hoon ki Nidhi ke saath main khush hoon. Baaki cheezein matter nahin karti.”

“That’s great, Ashutosh,” Mathew conceded.

“Ek baat aur hai. Maine kabhi khud socha nahin is baare mein. It was obvious to me ki agar Baba maan jaate hain to mere aur Nidhi ke raaste mein kuchh aur nahin aa sakta hai. Lekin logon ne itni baar mujhse mere decision ke baare mein poochha to main ek baat sochne par majboor ho gaya…”

Anji saw Nidhi stiffening and anxiouly listened to Ashutosh.

“… ki aakhir log is cheez ko itna importance kyon dete hain ki whether a woman can get pregnant or not. Mujhe realize hua ki aisa isliye hota hai ki log pregnancy aur motherhood ko one and the same maante hai. Lekin ye sahi nahin hai. Pregnancy is a biological phenomenon and for the life of mine, I can’t understand ki nature ne repoduction ke liye itna complicated aur painful tareeka kyon chuna hai. But motherhood is not pregnancy. Motherhood is about nurturing, caring, loving, educating… It is about helping a helpless and skill-less baby become capable and mature adult over time. Kitni auratein pregnant ho kar apne bachchon ko marne ke liye chhod deti hain. Chahe jo bhi wajah ho, ignorance, poverty, health. But do we like that? Do we want that? No. Pregnancy is not the most important thing. Motherhood is what is important. That is what we ideally want in our women. I think same goes for fatherhood too. Just because Nidhi pregnant nahin ho sakti, iska ye matlab nahin hai ki woh Maa nahin ban sakti, motherhood experience nahin kar sakti. In fact, I know that she will make an excellent mother. Tumne use bachchon ko handle karte to dekha hi hoga Mathew…”

Ashutosh stopped because he became conscious of Armaan and Mathew looking unblinkingly at him. He laughed slightly in embarrassment, “Sorry. Lagta hai ki philosophy kuchh zyada ho gayi. Andar chal kar aur drinks le lein…”

“No. No. Ashutosh,” Mathew objected, “Kuchh bhi zyada nahin hua hai. Nothing can be as simple, and as enlightening as this. I will be honest. Maine kabhi aise sawaal face nahin kiye khud ke liye. So, I wasn’t sure ki main tumhari jagah hota to kya faisla leta. Mujhe ye bhi shaq tha ki kahin tum aage ja kar regret na karo. Lekin tumne jo abhi kaha, it makes such perfect sense ki mujhe nahin lagta ki kissi ka bhi faisla tumse different hona chahiye.”

“Yaar Ashu. Tu to sach mein gaya,” Armaan said, “Philosopher, shayar, pata nahin kya-kya ban gaya hai ishq mein. Main sach bataun – mujhe bahut gussa aata tha tujh par. Kyonki mujhe lagta tha ki tune is rishte se peechhe hat kar, khud ki, aur Nidhi ki bhi, zindagi barbaad kar rakhi hai. Teri halat to din-raat dekhta hi tha. Jab kabhi Nidhi se baat ki, ye dekhna mushkil nahin tha ki outwardly brave ban kar bhi who andar se kitni udaas thi. Lekin jo bhi hua ho aaj tak, aaj tune khud ko meri nazaron mein to completely redeem kar liya hai. Seriously.”

Ashutosh smiled and Armaan continued, addressing Mathew now, “Mujhe lagta hai ki jo abhi Ashu ne kaha hai uska pamphlet banwa kar hamein desh ke saare hospitals ke gynacology departments mein bhijwa dena chahiye. Jo sar peetate couples aate hain na ki body allow kare na kare, bachche paida karne hi hai, un sabko padhwa dena chahiye. Bahuton ka bhala hoga. Kyon Dr. Mathew?”

They all laughed and the seriousness of the situation dissolved. Armaan noticed Nidhi and Anji standing at the entrance of the balcony. Anji’s eyes were also moist, but Nidhi’s tears were uncontrollable. They were flowing down her cheeks freely.

“Offo,” Armaan pretended to be annoyed, “Ye humne kise rula diya?” That drew the attention of Ashutosh and Mathew also towards the girls.

Nidhi put down the basket on a table lying nearby and wiped her tears. But even as she smiled coyly, the tears refused to stop. Ashutosh looked at her fondly and helplessly. What was he to say or do with so many people around? Armaan silently motioned Anji and Mathew and they all walked into the party hall leaving Ashutosh and Nidhi alone.

Ashutosh went to Nidhi and held her by her upper arms, “Ro kyon rahi ho? Aisa kya kah diya maine?”

Nidhi smiled through her tears, “Iske liye pareshaan hone ki zaroorat nahin hai. Khushi ke aansoon hain.”

“Bahut mushkil hai, Nidhi. Main to tumhein hanste hue dekhna chahta hoon. Lekin tumhein dard deta hoon phir bhi roti ho. Khushi deta hoon phir bhi roti ho. Aise to main confused ho jaunga?”

Nidhi chuckled, “Confuse hone ki zaroorat nahin hai. Kuchh alag karne ki bhi zaroorat nahin hai. Aap bas jaise hain, waise hi rahiye. Usse hi main bahut khush hoon.”

“Tum bhi, Nidhi. Jaisi ho, best ho,” Ashutosh replied and pulled her in his arms.

– The End –

Sacrifices (Part 18)

Posted MishLeave a commentPosted in Ashni (KTLK), Fan Fiction, Hinglish

“Really? That’s great Ashutosh. Lekin achanak kya ho gaya?” Mathew was surprised.

“Kya ho gaya?”

“Abhi hafte bhar pahle maine tumse kaha tha ki tumhein AIIMS join karna chahiye to tumne mana kar diya tha ki tum Lucknow nahin chhod sakte. Ab achanak…”

“Well. Mujhe laga ki it will be a good change. Personally and professionally. To isliye ab main join karna chahta hoon.”

“Okay,” Mathew was not convinced. But he didn’t badger, “Main reference de kar process shuru karwata hoon. Apna resume e-mail kar do mujhe. Except for administrative things, zyada time to nahin lagega.”

“Thanks Mathew. Main abhi e-mail karwata hoon.”

“Karwata hoon? Kotnis General Hospital mein ward in-charges ko assistants milte hain kya?” Mathew picked on him and laughed.

In her hostpial room, Nidhi was ready with her laptop to e-mail the resume as soon as he called her. That was their plan. So, without realizing it, he had ended up saying “karwata hoon”, instead of “karta hoon”.

“Mathew. Tum doctor ho ya linguist? Baal ki khaal kyon nikaal rahe ho…”

“Sorry Baba. Main mazaak kar raha hai. Itna work up kyon ho rahe ho? Yahan aaoge to mujhe aur bhi jhelna padega. Aadat daal lo.”

—

Mathew visited Nidhi.

“How are you feeling, Dr. Nidhi?”

“Much better, Sir.”

“Waise Ashutosh ne to bataya hi hoga ki woh AIIMS shift ho raha hai.”

“Yes Sir.” Nidhi said plainly.

“Are! Maine thoda zyada enthusiasm expect kiya tha bhai. Aapke role model yahan aa rahe hain…”

Nidhi laughed nervously, “Sir. Taang kheenchna to koi aapse seekhe.”

“Main bahut serious hoon, Dr. Nidhi. Balki main kya soch raha hoon ki ek baar Ashutosh yahan aa jaye to phir main aapko uske under hi shift kar doonga. I’m sure you would be happy to have your old boss back.”

“No!” Ashutosh and Nidhi cried in chorus, startling Mathew.

“Okay,” he  shrugged, “Aisa kya ho gaya…”

Nidhi looked at Ashutosh nervously.

”Well. I think alag-alag logon ke saath kaam karna achchha rahta hai,” Ashutosh replied, “Professional growth ke liye. So, its better ki Dr. Nidhi tumhare under hi kaam karein Mathew. Mere saath to ek saal kiya hi hai. What do you say, Dr. Nidhi?”

“Y… Yes Sir. Main bhi… yahi soch rahi thi.” Nidhi would have agreed to anything he said at that moment. This was a very reasonable explanation.

“Okay,” Mathew shrugged again, but he looked at them curiously. Then he changed the topic, “Waise tum join kab tak kar rahe ho?”

“Do mahine to lagenge. Kotnis mein sab wrap up karne mein.”

“Okay.”

—

“Haan Bua. Achchha hi to hai na. Nidhi ka khayaal rakhne ke liye Dr. Ashutosh aas paas honge… Ab Bua… ye kaisi zidd hai? Abhi itni jaldbaazi mein shaadi kaise ho sakti hai? Aur Nidhi ke liye bhi sahi nahin hai. Abhi-abhi operation… Nahin Bua… Logon ko jo kahna hai kahne dijiye. Mujhe bas Nidhi ki chinta hai…”

“Kya hua, Bhai Sahab?” Shayama asked after Yograj had disconnected the call.

“Bua thi. Ab unhein is baat ki chinta khaye ja rahi hai ki Dr. Ashutosh Delhi aayenge, ye dono aas paas rahenge, to log kya kahenge? Unki shaadi ho jaani chahiye. Ab aap bataiye, ye koi samay hai shaadi ka? Abhi operation ke baad theek bhi nahin hui hai Nidhi, uski padhai ka itna nuksaan pahle hi hua hai. Dr. Ashutosh ke paas bhi time hoga ya nahin…”

“Aapki baat to sahi hai. Abhi shaadi ke liye jaldbaazi theek nahin hai.”

“Wahi to. Lekin Bua ko kaun samjhaye…”

Just then Shayama’s mobile rang. She looked at the number and informed Yograj, “Aapke ghar se hai. Bua hongi…”

Yograj pressed his palm to his forehead in frustration.

“Namaste Bua,” Shayama greeted her cordially and prepared for the unavoidable barrage from the other side, “Lekin Bua… Suniye to. Delhi bahut bada shahar hai. Kissi ko kissi se koi matlab nahin hota. Koi kuchh nahin kahega… Haan. Haan. Main aapki baat samajh rahi hoon…. Achchha theek hai…. Theek hai. Main dekhti hoon. Aap aise pareshaan mat hoiye….”

“Phir se wahi baat?” Yograj asked Shayama impatiently. She nodded.

“Baba. Inki engagement karwa dete hain. Compromise ka raasta. Dadi Bua ki baat bhi rah jayega,” Anji offered a solution at which both Shyama and Yograj jumped.

“Ye achchha idea hai. Thoda to Bua ko bhi peechhe hatna hi padega,” Yograj said.

“Chaliye. Hospital chal kar Nidhi se bhi baat kar lete hain. Aur phir Dr. Ashutosh ko phone kar denge,” Shyama suggested. Ashutosh had gone back to Lucknow to wrap up his work at Kotnis, find a replacement and ensure that his leaving won’t cause any disruptions.

—

Nidhi and Ashutosh agreed to the idea of engagement. It was decided that it will be done in Delhi the weekend before Ashutosh was to join AIIMS. They had six weeks in hand. Anji went back to Lucknow because she couldn’t take any more time off from her job. Shayam convinced Yograj also to go back to look after the business. She stayed back to be with Nidhi, who was still recovering. Ashutosh would come to Delhi on one of the weekends and make arrangements for a small engagement ceremony. Only close family and friends were supposed to be there.

—

“Waise to hamein Delhi mein kissi ko invite karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Lekin Dr. Mathew ko to karna hi chahiye. Who mere boss hain aur hum teenon log saath mein kaam karenge. To unhein pata hona chahiye.” Nidhi told Ashutosh when he came to Delhi.

“Haan. And it’s going to be odd…” Ashutosh replied.

“Odd? Kyon?”

“Kyonki, Dr. Nidhi Verma, aapki harquaton se unhein aisa laga tha ki you have a huge crush on me aur…”

Nidhi giggled, “Crush? Khair theek hai. Phir to it won’t be a surprise to him.”

“What won’t be a surprise? Jab main pichhli baar yahan aaya tha to usne mujhse ye kaha tha and then I had, of course, rubbished it.”

“Hmm…”

“To Dr. Mathew ko invite to karna hi hai. Aur who aap karengi.”

“Kya? Main? Nahin. Ye kya baat hui… Woh aapke dost hain.”

“Woh aapke boss hain. Ye zyada important hai,” Ashutosh was not giving in.

“Not fair, Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi pouted.

“Abhi meri unfairness ke baare mein tumhein kuchh pata hi kahan hai,” Ashutosh joked suggestively. Nidhi blushed so hard that she forgot to to retort.

—

“Good Morning, Sir,” Nidhi greeted Mathew.

“Good Morning Dr. Nidhi. So, you are fit and fine now. Back to work?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Lekin try to take it easy. Abhi poori tarah se theek hone mein aapko time lagega. Main administrator se kah doonga aapki night duties wagerah na lagayen. But you should also take care and not over-exert yourself.”

“Thank you, Sir. Main dhyaan rakhoongi. Aur…”

“Yes?”

“Mujhe aapko invite karna tha…”

“Kis cheez ke liye?”

“Meri engagement…”

Mathew was visibly surprised, “Engagement? Aapki? Abhi? You mean engagement for getting married?”

“Yes Sir. Aur kaun si engagement hogi?”

“Yes – of course…” Mathew grinned. But an engagement right after a uterus removal operation didn’t quite fit in the usual schemes of the world! And as far as he knew, she didn’t have any boyfriends. Did her parents manage to find someone…

“Congratulations,” he said gathering his thoughts, “Though I must admit, I am very surprised. It’s so sudden. Kaam ke beech mein aapko kissi se milne ka mauka kaise mil gaya? Ya aapke parents ne…”

“Nahin… Parents nahin… Milne ka mauka mil gaya. Thanks to you…” Nidhi mumbled.

This puzzled Mathew even more, “Thanks to me… I don’t see ki aap aisa mazaak kyon karengi, lekin aap mazaak kar rahi hain, right? There is no engagement…”

“No. No… Oh my God!” Nidhi cried, “Main koi mazaak nahin kar rahi. But ab main aapko aur kuchh explain nahin kar sakti. Engagement hai. Hotel Continental mein. Chhoti se party hai. Humne zyada logon ko invite nahin kiya hai. Isliye koi printed invitation card nahin hai. Aap please apni wife ke saath zaroor aaiyega. Barah baje din mein. Next Sunday. Main aapko details e-mail bhi kar doongi. Aur baaki sab aap Dr. Ashutosh se poochh lijiye.” She said everything in one breath as if she won’t be able to speak again if she stopped.

“Dr. Ashutosh?”Mathew was not only surprised or puzzled now, but positively shocked, “What does Ashutosh have to do with this?”

—

To be continued

Sacrifices (Part 17)

Posted MishLeave a commentPosted in Ashni (KTLK), Fan Fiction, Hinglish

“Ye nainsaafi hai, Nidhi. Tum apni rationality ki defintion mujh par bhi thop rahi ho. Ye to socho ki agar khushiya irrational hoti hain, to who sabki ek jaisi to nahin ho sakti? Warna to jismein sabki khushiyan ho, use hi rational maana jayega. Lekin… unfortunately main ye prove nahin kar sakta ki tumhari rationality ke paimane par meri marzi, meri khushiyan kitni irrational hain. Mere haath bandhe hue hain aur… Oh God! Main ye kya kar raha hoon?” Ashutosh halted his impassioned speech when he noticed that Nidhi was crying. He wiped her tears and said in a soft, assuring voice, “Ro mat, Nidhi. Don’t work yourself up like this. Aise operation se pahle nahin… Aur… Nidhi, main Baba se baat karoonga. Main na to khud bardasht kar sakta hoon, na hi tumhein aur aise ghutate hue dekh sakta hoon. Aur… woh maan jayenge, Nidhi. Woh bhi to tumse pyaar karte hain. Main unse bheekh maangoonga, apni khushiyon ki, tumhari khushiyon ki…”

“Bas, Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi interrupted, “Uski zaroorat nahin hai. Baba to maan gaye hain…”

“What?” Ashutosh was taken aback, “Baba… maan gaye hain… To tumne mujhe bataya kyon nahin? How could you not tell me, Nidhi?”

“Baba aapse baat karna chahte the. Maine hi mana kiya tha.”

“Tumne mana kiya tha? Kyon? Oh God! Nidhi… You thought… Tumhein laga ki tum pregnant nahin ho sakti, is wajah se main tumse… Tum itni bewkoof ho kya? That was really bad, and cruel of you, Dr. Nidhi Verma…”

“Dr. Ashutosh, please,” Nidhi tried to control his excitement, “Aise jaldbaazi mein kuchh mat kahiye. Ek baar future ke baare mein soch lijiye. Ye itna trivial bhi nahin hai.”

“You know what, Nidhi. You have been such a fool ki ab main tumse poochhoonga bhi nahin ki tum mujhse shaadi karogi ya nahin. Mera wash chalta to abhi tumse zabardasti shaadi kar leta, aur is operation ke consent papers par khud sign karta.  Ye nahin ho sakta, lekin jaise hi tum recover karogi… Nahin… Ek shabd aur nahin. Koi bakwaas nahin sunni hai mujhe tumhari,” he didn’t let her speak, “Itna kuchh samajhti ho tum mere baare mein. Phir bhi kabhi tumhein ye realize nahin hua ki mujhse behtar ye koi nahin jaan sakta ki rishte khoon se nahin, pyaar se bante hain. Main khud adopted hoon, Nidhi. Tumhein kabhi ye realize nahin hua ki main bachche adopt karna chahunga? Aur in sabse pahle… tumhein ye realize nahin hua, Nidhi, ki agar tum mujhe mil sakti ho to mujhe duniya mein kissi aur cheez ki koi parwaah nahin hai? Agar tumhari is ek medical problem ki wajah se tum mujhe mil gayi, to main is problem ke liye oopar waale shukraguzaar hoon. Jo bhi hua, bahut achcha hua. Bahut hi  achchha hua…”

Nidhi allowed herself to smile and hope. She leaned on him for a hug. He happily obliged and embraced her tightly. Nidhi pulled away after a while and said jokingly, “Operation ke pahle mera BP badh gaya to achchha nahin hoga, Dr. Ashutosh.”

Ashutosh chuckled, “Yes. You have been trained well, Dr. Nidhi Verma.”

They were still holding hands and laughing, when Anji entered, “Nidhi. Ye kapde… Oh!” she smield sheepishly on seeing them together, “Main thodee der mein aati hoon.”

“Nahin Anji,” Nidhi stopped her, “Kya baat hai?”

“Ye kapde. Tujhe change karne honge operation ke liye. Sister thodee der mein woh aayengi tujhe operations ke liye taiyaar karne ko.”

“Nidhi. You get ready,” Ashutosh said and got up to leave with Anji.

“Thank you, Anji. Main sach much aapka bahut shukraguzaar hoon,” Ashutosh said when they had come out of their room.

“Thank you? Kisliye?”

“Agar aapne mujhe Nidhi ki pareshaani ke baare mein nahin bataya hota to shayad hamari saari pareshaaniyan aaj resolve nahin hui hoti. Lekin kuchh aur kahne se pahle mujhe Baba se baat karni hogi.”

“Sure. Although it isn’t so difficult to guess,” Anji gave a knowing smile to Ashutosh. Ashutosh could not help blushing a little.

—

“Ouch!”Nidhi tried to sit up too quickly and felt an acute pain.

“Sambhaal ke, Nidhi,” Ashutosh hadn’t left her bedside since she had been operated upon, “Itni jaldbaazi mein kyon rahti ho har waqt?”

“Main bistar par pade-pade tang aa gayi hoon.”

“Poori duniya kaam kar-kar ke tang aa gayi hai. Sabko aaraam ka mauka chahiye aur tumhein woh mauka mila hai to tum uski izzat hi nahin karti.”

“Aap kab tak rukenge yahan?”

“Ek hafta ho chuka hai, Nidhi. Parson mujhe wapas jaana hoga. Hospital ka kaam itna ignore nahin karna chahiye…”

“Mujhe bhi wapas jaana hai Lucknow.”

“Pahle to tumhein recover karna hai, aur phir jitni padhai chhooti hai, use catch up karna hai.”

“Nahin Dr. Ashutosh… Mujhse ab aur kuchh nahin hoga… Main… Main wapas Lucknow jaana chahti hoon.”

“Lucknow kahin bhaaga thode hi na ja raha hai, Nidhi.”

“Aap to bhaage ja rahe hain na wapas Lucknow?”

Ashutosh smiled patronizingly, “Pagli. Ab kya problem hai?  I promise, main Lucknow pahunchte hi naya mobile loonga aur use 24/7 on rakhoonga.”

“Aapke liye woh kaafee hai kya? Mere liye nahin hai. Agar mujhe ab aapke saath aur meri padhai ke beech ek ko chunna hai, to main aapko chunoongi.”

“Nahin Nidhi,” Ashutosh turned serious, “No more sacrifices. Bahut ho gaya. Isse koi khush nahin rahta. Already humne bahut sacrifices kiye hain. Aur shayad meri hi wajah se… Maine kabhi situation ko face karne ki koshish hi nahin ki. Aur tumhein bhi aisa hi karne par majboor kar diya. Mujhe kuchh confess karna hai Nidhi… Tumhare saamne, aur khud ke bhi.”

“Kya?”

“Jab main peechhe mud kar dekhta hoon, to mujhe ahsaas hota hai ki maine kabhi Baba ko manane ki koshish bhi nahin ki. Pahle hi haar maan li. Aisa isliye hua ki kahin na kahin main insecure feel karta tha. Mujhe lagta tha ki I may not be the right one for you. I am too old. Isliye main peechhe hat gaya. Aur tum… tum mujh par itna bharosa karti thi ki bina koi sawaal poochhe meri baat maanti gayi. Deep down mujhe lagta tha ki mujhse door ja kar, you will move on. Main galat tha, Nidhi, aur jab tak main tumse yahan nahin mila tha, mujhe ahsaas nahin hua tha ki tum kitna tadpi ho, kitna pareshaan rahi ho. I am sorry, Nidhi. I am really sorry. Aur ab main dubara kabhi tumhein koi sacrifice karne par majboor nahin karoonga.”

“Mujhe bhi nahin karna aur koi sacrifice. Isliye to main aapke saath jaana chahti hoon.”

“Nidhi. No sacrifice means no sacrifice. Tumhare career ka bhi sacrifice nahin…”

“Lekin…”

“Meri poori baat suno. Tumhein Lucknow aane ki zaroorat nahin hai, Nidhi. Main Delhi shift ho jaunga, jab tak tumhari padhai poori nahin hoti hai.”

“Ji?” Nidhi was shocked.

“Dr. Mathew aur meri jaan-pahchaan ke jo aur log AIIMS mein hain, who sab kahte hain ki I should join this place. To usmein koi problem nahin hogi.”

“Lekin aap to Lucknow se bahar nahin rahna chahte…”

“Tumhare meri zindagi mein aane ke baad ek baat maine seekhi hai, Nidhi, ki hamara present aur future, past se zyada important hota hai. Lucknow main apne past ki wajah se nahin chhodna chahta tha. Lekin agar mera future mere Lucknow chhodne se behtar rahega, to main kyon na chhodoon? Aur waise bhi ye permanent thode hi na hai. Kuchh saalon ki baat hai. Padhai khatam hone ke baad to tum bhi wapas jaana chahogi, hai na?”

Nidhi smiled and nodded.

“Main tumhein ab hamesha khush dekhna chahta hoon, Nidhi.”

“Aur main aaj is duniya mein sabse khush, aur sabse khushkismat ladki hoon!”

Ashutosh was overwhelmed. He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them. Nidhi blushed furiously.

—

To be continued

Sacrifices (Part 16)

Posted MishLeave a commentPosted in Ashni (KTLK), Fan Fiction, Hinglish

“Nidhi. Beta tumse kuchh baat karni thi.”

“Boliye na, Baba.”

“Maine ek galti kar di beta. Tumhare aur Dr. Ashutosh ke saath sahi nahin kiya,” Baba came straight to the point.

“Baba!”

“Kya main who galti ab sudhaar nahin sakta?”

“Baba,” Nidhi got tears in her eyes, “Uske liye bahut der ho gayi hai.”

“Tumhare man ki baat nahin badli hai. Ye to mujhe pata hai. Phir kya Dr. Ashutosh…”

“Baat woh nahin hai, Baba. Lekin aapko nahin lagta hai ki aap apni beti ko le kar selfish ho rahe hain? Is operation ke baad… Dr. Ashutosh kya – main kissi ki bhi zindagi mein jaane ki, kissi se shaadi karne ki nahin soch sakti. Bhool jaiye, Baba. Main apni khaamiyan kissi aur ke oopar nahin thop sakti.”

—

“Lekin Bhai Sahab, aap ek baar Dr. Ashutosh se baat to kijiye,” Shyama told Yograj. Nidhi’s refusal was not the final word on the matter to her, “Itna to saaf hai ki woh Nidhi ki bahut chinta karte hain. Delhi mein sirf uski wajah se ruke hue hain. Thodee der bhi hospital se bahar nahin jaate. Mujhe nahin lagta ki is wajah se…”

“Main aapse sahmat hoon, Bhabhi ji. Mujhe nahin lagta ki Dr. Ashutosh is wajah se Nidhi ko chhod denge. Lekin ye bhi sach hai ki agar is waqt maine ye baat chhedi to ye bahut hi khudgarz harqat lagegi. Aur Dr. Ashutosh se zyada shayad Nidhi aisa sochegi. Uski self-respect ko dhakka lagega. Isliye main kuchh nahin kah raha hoon. Bas bhagwaan se prarthna kar raha hoon ki woh dono khud hi is issue ko sort out kar lein.“

They weren’t aware that Anji had heard them.

—

“Tum Dr. Nidhi Verma ki family ko kaafee achchhe se jaante ho lagta hai. Kaise?”

Mathew’s question was casual, but Ashutosh was disconcerted, “Family ko? Nahin… Bas aise hi mila hoon… Kyonki woh Kotnis mein kaam karti thi…”

“Oh! Mujhe laga ki tum unki family ke aane ke baad bhi ruke hue ho to shayad jaante hoge… Aur tumhare paas unki friend ka number tha, ye bhi pata tha ki unhein phone karna behtar hoga…”

Ashutosh laughed nervously, “Tum to jasoosi karne lag gaye, Mathew. Anji is married to Dr. Rangnath, who is the senior administrator at Kotnis. That’s how I had her number…” He thanked his stars that he had quickly found an explanation.

“Sorry. Sorry,” Mathew laughed in embarrassment, “Main koi jaasoosi nahin kar raha tha. I was just curious ki tum unke liye yahan ruke hue ho. It’s a pleasure for me, of course.”

Ashutosh smiled, “Uski family ghabrai hui hai. Uski mother nahin hain. Aur Nidhi thodee careless hai. To uske Baba ko support chahiye hoga… Isliye main ruk gaya.”

“Careless?” Mathew chuckled, “Mujhe to kissi bhi angle se careless nahin lagti. If anything, she is too uptight. Too demanding. Not so much from others, as from herself. Maine observe kiya hai use. Aisa feedback directly kissi ko dena thoda ajeeb lagta hai. Kyonki professionally ismein kuchh negative nahin hai. Lekin she is too much of  a workohalic. Yaad hai jab tumhein lunch par bheja tha uske saath, usne kaha tha ki lunch ke baad uski duty nahin hai? Us din uski duty morning mein bhi nahin thi. Lekin phir bhi classes ke baad hospital mein hi thi. At this rate, she might burn herself out.”

Ashutosh smiled, “Log kitna badal jaate hain, Mathew. You won’t believe,” he grew animated as told Nidhi’s story to Mathew, “ki jab Nidhi ne jab Kotnis join kiya tha to shuruat mein main use kitna daantta tha. Koi chaara hi nahin tha. Kissi baat ko seriously leti hi nahin thi kabhi. Lekin over time, she changed. Completely. And tell me if I am wrong, but main maanta hoon ki she is a very good doctor in making.”

“I agree. And I think I know ki usmein ye change kaise aaya.”

“Kaise?” Mathew’s certainty about Nidhi amused Ashutosh. What could he possibly know?

“I think she had this huge crush on you. And she probably tried to prove herself to you. You have to see her go ‘Dr. Ashutosh aise karte the, Dr. Ashutosh waise karte the’ all the time… Agar main tumhein jaanta nahin hota, Ashutosh, to mere ek subordinate ke munh se itni taarefein sun kar, main to tumhein bahut resent karta. Abhi tak bhi hai ye crush, I think. Good for her professionally though,” Mathew laughed.

“Come on, Mathew. Nice theory, but don’t be absurd,” Ashutosh tried not to sound too defensive, but his face had gone red. Mathew probably didn’t realize how close to the truth he was!

“Are. To tum itna pareshaan kyon ho rahe ho? It’s normal. A tall, dark, handsome boss – who bhi rich and single. Kissi bhi ladki ko crush ho jayega. Iska solution to yahi hai ki tum please jaldi se shaadi kar lo. Phir you will be off-limits. Pata nahin kis sapno ki rani ka intezaaar kar rahe ho?”

“Mujhe lagta hai ki tum drink kar ke duty par aaye ho, Mathew. Lekin phir bhi, tumhein shayad ward mein hona chahiye. To main ab tumhara time barbaad nahin karoonga. You please carry on with your work. Main guest house ja raha hoon.”

“All right, Ashutosh,” Mathew was still amused at Ashutosh’ discomfort, “Hum ise phir kabhi discuss karenge.”

—

Ashutosh was still at the door, when Anji reached his room in the guesthouse.

“Anji. Aap? Please come in.”

“Thank you, Dr. Ashutosh. Maine aapko disturb to nahin kiya?”

“Bilkul nahin. Koi khaas baat hai kya? Main abhi Nidhi ko hi dekhna jaane waala tha.”

“Haan… Dr. Ashutosh,” Anji hesitated and fell silent.

“Anji. Kya baat hai?” he was alarmed. Had there been some complication? Had Anji brought some bad news?

“Thoda ajeeb hai, Dr. Ashutosh. Lekin phir bhi main poochhna chahti hoon. Kyonki Nidhi meri best friend hai aur mujhe uski fikr hai. Kya aap Nidhi se ab bhi pyaar karte hain? Kya aap use aaj bhi apnana chahenge?”

Ashutosh looked at her curiously, “Kya mere jawaab se koi farq padega?”

“Haan. I think, Nidhi ko farq padega. Use lagta hai ki… is operation ke baad… Kyonki woh pregnant nahin ho sakti, kissi se shaadi karna, kissi ki zindagi ka hissa banna uske liye sahi nahin hai.”

“Nonsense!” Ashutosh said emphatically, “Utter nonsense. Ye baat uske dimaag mein kisne daali?”

“Kissi aur ke daalne ki kya zaroorat hai? Koi bhi ladki aisa sochegi, given ki motherhood ko society kitna importance deti hai ek aurat ke liye.” Anji thought of all the pressure mounting on her to make a baby ever since she had gotten married.

“To woh is wajah se pareshaan hai?”

“Pareshaan ho na ho, confidence to kam ho hi gaya hai uska. Apne oopar… Aur shayad aapke oopar bhi.”

“Mere oopar?”

“Aap usse baat kyon nahin karte?”

“Haan. Main karoonga. Thank you, Anji! Thanks a lot.”

—

“Tum comfortable ho na, Nidhi? Dar to nahin rahi?” Ashutosh asked her. The operation was scheduled for that evening.

Nidhi smiled and shook her head.

“Aur…” Ashutosh hesitated. He wasn’t sure how to bring the matter up with her.

“Aur?”

“Aur Nidhi,” he took a deep breath and decided to talk straight, “Tum ye baat yaad rakhna ki ye opeation sirf ek medical problem ko door karne ka tareeka hai. Iske baad tumhari problem solve ho jayegi. Isse aur kuchh nahin badlega. Isse tum nahin badlogi, Nidhi.”

“Aap kya kah rahe hain, meri samajh mein nahin aa raha hai,” Nidhi didn’t know that Anji had spoken to him. So, she genuinely couldn’t figure out where he was coming from.

“Nidhi,”Ashutosh held her hands and pressed them, “Nidhi. You are a wonderful woman. The most wonderful woman in the world. Aur jo bhi ladka tumhari zindagi mein aayega, woh bahut khushkismat hoga. Tum kabhi bhi ye mat samajhna ki is operation ki wajah se tumhari zindagi ruk gayi hai. Tum… tum meri baat samajh rahi ho na?”

“Ye ek doctor ki rationality bol rahi hai Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi was sad, but firm as she replied, “Logon ki khushiyan, unki wishes hamesha itni rational nahin ho sakti. Aur mujhe lagta bhi nahin ki hamein khud ko itna rational banana chahiye, ya doosron se itni rationality expect karni chahiye ki woh hamare aur unke gale ki phaans ban jaye. Main kissi se ye expect nahin karti. Khud se bhi nahin. Kissi aur se bhi nahin. Aapse bhi nahin.”

—

To be continued

Sacrifices (Part 15)

Posted MishLeave a commentPosted in Ashni (KTLK), Fan Fiction, Hinglish

“Yeah. Aap log please wait kijiye,” Doctor said as she went inside the room.

All of them stayed silent, absorbed in their own thoughts while the doctor was inside.

“She is all right,” Doctor’s announcement brought them out of their reveries, “Diagnosis ka result aap logon ko pata hi hai. And you know the implications of the operation. Uterus removal ke baad she can’t get pregnant. Lekin agar remove nahin kiya to pain hota rahega. Aur ek saal se zyada operation nahin taal sakte. To aap log uske hisaab se hi decide kar lein.”

Baba, Anji and Shyama – all turned pale and were tongue-tied.

“Thank you, Doctor,” Ashutosh took charge of the situation and addressed Baba after the doctor left, “Baba. Main jaanta hoon ki aap log shocked hain, pareshaan hai. Lekin is waqt sabse zyada vulnerable Nidhi hai. Agar aap log aise pareshaan ho kar uske saamne jayenge to woh phir se ghabra jayegi. Isliye please, aap log aisa mat kijiye. Nidhi ki zindagi se badh kar to kuchh nahin hai. Aur aap logon ko bhi use ye mahsoos karwana hai. Use aisa nahin lagna chahiye ki is problem, ya is operation ki wajah se usmein kissi tarah ki koi kami aa gayi hai. Aisa mental trauma, physical problems se zyada khatarnaak saabit ho sakta hai. Aap samajh rahe hain na ki main kya kah raha hoon?” It was the experienced doctor speaking. Over the years, Ashutosh had consoled, encouraged, pacified and motivated a large number of distressed parents, whose children were under his care. He had summoned all his learnings from those experiences for that little speech of his.

“Tum theek kah rahe ho, Dr. Ashutosh,” Baba agreed, “Bhabhi ji, Anji – hamein bilkul bhi aisi ruansi shakal nahin banani chahiye uske saamne.”

“Ji Baba,” Anji agreed and Shyama also nodded.

“Aap log jaiye. Main…” Ashutosh didn’t know what he was going to do, but he didn’t think he’d be welcomed there any longer, with Baba around…

“Agar tumhare paas samay hai, Dr. Ashutosh, to meri request hai ki tum bhi hamare saath raho. Nidhi ko hi nahin, hum sab logon ko… sahare ki zaroorat hai.”

“Ismein request ki kya baat hai. Main to yahin ruka hua hi hoon. AIIMS ke guest house mein. Aap log chaliye. Main bas do minute mein aata hoon.”

Baba nodded and everyone went inside the room.

Ashtuosh returned soon with a tray in his hand. He had brought tea. Shyama noticed that and stood up with a start. “Aapko ye karne ki kya zaroorat thi, Dr. Ashutosh?” she said and took the tray from him. She motioned Anji, who served the tea to everyone.

“Koi takalluf ki baat nahin hai, Mrs. Solanki. Aap log thake hue the to main chai le aaya. Button daba kar hi to laana tha,” he said with a smile and could not help throwing a knowing glance at Nidhi. Nidhi looked grateful and overwhelmed. He was taking care of her as well as her family. Ashutosh assured her with slight nod and blink. She smiled.

Ashutosh brought up the matter of night-stay after they had finished tea over regular chit-chat. “Baba. Raat mein aap logon ke yahan rukne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Aap log pareshaan aur thake hue lag rahe hain. Mere khayaal se aap ghar chale jaiye.”

“Nahin, Dr. Ashutosh. Hum iske liye hi to aaye hain. Hum yahin rukenge,” Shayama objected.

“Main jaanta hoon. Isliye kah raha hoon ki jab zaroorat nahin hai tab khud ko exert kar ke fayda nahin hai. Abhi aap logon ko yahan rukna padega kuchh din. Operation ke samay sabki zaroorat hogi. Aaj zaroorat nahin hai. Nidhi aaraam se so jayegi yahan. Waise bhi woh ghar se zyada time yahin bitati hai, kyon Nidhi?” he smiled as he threw that question at Nidhi.

“Lekin…”

“Aap log please meri baat maaniye. Nidhi – ghar ki chaabhi kahan hai?”

“Anji. Mere purse ke aage waali pocket mein hai. Nikaal le please. Tu aur Auntie mere bed par so jaana. Baba ke liye hall mein futon hai, jo woh hamesha use karte hain. Aur mere mobile mein Khaana-Khazaana restaurant ka number hai. Woh note kar le. Wahan se dinner ki home-delivery karwa lena,” Nidhi said.

Ashutosh looked at her appreciatively. Despite her own anxieties, she was playing the dutiful host.

Shyama could not help thinking how Ashutosh and Nidhi sounded like a perfect couple – complementing each other. Ashutosh cajoling them to go home for night and Nidhi working out their sleeping and food arrangement.

—

“Bhai Sahab,” Shyama addressed Yograj after they had their dinner, “Bura na maanein to ek baat kahun Nidhi ke baare mein.”

“Zaroor kahiye, Bhabhi ji. Nidhi ke baare mein aap kuchh sochein to ismein bura lagne ki kya baat hogi?”

“Dr. Ashutosh aur Nidhi ke rishte ko lekar jo aapke objections hain, woh jayaz hain. Lekin ye bhi sach hai ki kabhi-kabhi kuchh rishte hamari aam kasautiyon se pare hote hain. Ek saal se zyada ho gaya hai jo woh dono ek doosre se nahin mile hain, hai na Anji?” She looked and Anji for confirmation and continued on getting a nod from her, “Anji ki shaadi mein bhi Dr. Ashutosh nahin aaye the. Aur mera khayaal hai ki aisa unhone Nidhi ko avoid karne ke liye hi kiya tha. Lekin phir bhi aaj jo maine un donon ke beech dekha, mujhe lagta nahin ki woh rishta toot payega.”

“Mummy theek kah rahi hain, Baba,” Anji also spoke, “I am sorry agar aapko mera bolna achchha na laga ho. Lekin main Nidhi ki best friend hoon. Bachpan se jaanti hoon use. Mujhe nahin lagta ki woh Dr. Ashutosh ko bhool payegi. Itne din ho gaye aur woh Lucknow aane ko raazi nahin hoti. Aise kaise kaam chalega, Baba?”

“Aap dono ki baat main samajh raha hoon. Lekin baaki sab concerns ko ek taraf rakh bhi doon main, tab bhi ek baat mere man se nahin jaati. Shaadi zindagi bhar ka saath hota hai, Bhabhi ji. Agar ek arse ke baad, kissi ek ko akela rahna pade, to woh bahut mushkil hota hai. Aur agar do logon mein umra ka itna faasla ho to iski possibility badh jaati hai ki unmein se ek ko kai saalon tak…”

“Bura mat maaniyega, Bhai Sahab. Lekin mujhe lagta hai ki kiska saath kitne dinon ka hai, ye oopar waale ke haath mein hai. Agar umra se iska faisla hota to kya Bhabhi ji aapki itni jaldi chhod kar jaati? Aur iske baawzood agar aapko apni zindagi dubara jeena ka mauka mile to kya aap unke alawa kissi aur ko apna jeevan-saathi banana chahenge?”

Yograj sighed. He thought for a while before speaking, “Aap theek kah rahi hain. Maine, shayad, galti kar di hai. Main Nidhi se kal hi baat karoonga. Raksha mein hatya ho gai hai mere haathon. Nidhi kitni dukhi rahi hai Lucknow se aane ke baad se, ye bhi to mujhse chhipa nahin hi hai. Main sochta tha ki nayi jagah par, naye logon ke beech woh aage badh jayegi. Bhool jayegi Dr. Ashutosh ko. Lekin aisa nahin hua. Uske pyaar ko bachpana samajh kar maine theek nahin kiya.”

Shyama and Anji smiled and nodded in agreement.

—

“Thank you,” Nidhi said when Ashutosh came back to her room after getting Baba, Anji and Shyama a taxi for home.

“Ye kis liye?”

“Sabka khayaal rakhne ke liye. Aapko to pata hi hai ki Baba kitna ghabra gaye honge.”

“Haan. Aur us par se tum hosh mein aate hi rone lagi. Bechare ghabrate nahin to aur kya hota?” Ashutosh chided her, as he looked at her charts and reports.

He had expected a rejoinder, but Nidhi fell silent instead. The surprised and worried him. He put the reports back in their place and faced her, “Hey. Nidhi. Kya hua? Main mazaak kar raha tha. Bura maan gayin kya?”

“Nahin,” Nidhi forced a smile on herself, “Mujhe pata hai ki aap mazaak kar rahe the. Khair. Ab aapko bhi aaraam karna chahiye. It has been quite a day.”

“Tum so jao. Main bahar rahunga. Koi zaroorat ho to aawaaz laga dena.”

Nidhi was surprised, “Nurse hai na. Aap kyon rukenge? Aap guest house wapas chale jaiye.”

Ashutosh just smiled, “Main bahar hoon.”

“Rukiye,” Nidhi stopped him, “Bahar to kuchh hai bhi nahin jis par aap let sakein. Aap andar hi rahiye. At least ye sofa hai kamre  mein…”

“Nahin Nidhi…”

“Aapki zidd hai to main aapse zyada ziddi hoon.”

Ashutosh sighed. “Yeah. I know,” he murmured. Then he went to her and helped her ease into the bed. He pulled up her bedcover and tucked her in, like he would do to the kids in the ward. He switched off the lights near her bed. The ones in the corners of the room were still switched on, and he let those be.

As he made his way to the sofa, Nidhi did not let him see that she had tears in her eyes. How considerate and careful he could be! He made everyone comfortable, refused to leave her side, humoured her when she asked him to take the sofa, switched off the lights that would have inconvenienced her, but took care to not let the room get dark – the room that they were sharing! She quietly wiped her tears, as he lied down on the sofa.

—

To be continued

Sacrifices (Part 14)

Posted MishLeave a commentPosted in Ashni (KTLK), Fan Fiction, Hinglish

Ashutosh noticed slight limp in her walk, when Nidhi came back tea. He got up and took the tray from her.

“Kya hua? Tum aise limp kyon ka rahi ho?”

“Nahin to. Main bilkul theek hoon.”

“Nidhi! Hum dono doctors hain. Let’s cut it short.”

“Pichhle kuchh dinon se kabhi kabhi pet mein dard shuru ho jaata hai. Kuchh khaas nahin hai. Theek ho jayega abhi thodee der mein.”

“Kitne dinon se?”

“Kuchh pandrah-bees dinon se.”

“To tumne check up kyon nahin karwaya?”

“Hum doctors waise bhi paranoid hone ke liye badnaam hote hain.”

“Better be paranoid than sorry! Batao kahan dard ho raha hai?”

“Dr. Ashutosh. It’s not important. Really.”

“Explain it, then.”

She was a doctor. It wasn’t a big deal for her to talk about menstural problems with her colleagues. But he was not just another doctor. He was also the man she loved. The hesitations and shyness natural to such a relationship hindered her. But he was adamant, “I am waiting.”

“It’s probably just the menstural troubles,” she had to speak.

Ashutosh was more seasoned than her. Not even for a moment did he betray any signs of awkwardness at the subject, “Pandrah-bees dinon se? Ye hamesha to nahin hota tha?”

“Nahin.”

“You fool,” the expression was quite uncharacteristic of Ashutosh and it surprised Nidhi, “Can’t you see that it is not normal, then? Not the regular menstural troubles. Mujhe bharosa nahin hota ki tum aise illiterate, uninformed gaon ki auraton ke tarah khud ko treat kar sakti ho. Chalo abhi hospital.”

“Dr. Ashutosh. Please. Theek hai. Main check up karwa loongi. Lekin abhi nahin.”

“Bilkul abhi. Kam se kam aas-paas koi diagnostic centre to hoga. I want to see an x-ray.”

“Aap thodee der mere saath baithna bhi nahin chate kya? Kabhi mobile lena hai, kabhi hospital chalna hai. Hardly kuchh ghante hain hamare paas…” Nidhi was vexed.

Ashutosh sighed. He took out his ticket from the bag and dialed the customer service number, “Yes. Main apna ticket cancel karwana chahta hoon…. Yes – I know ki sirf taxes refund honge… Please jaldi kijiye… No. I don’t want to reschedule. I don’t know when will I travel next. Please cancel it.” He addressed her impatiently after canceling the ticket, “Happy? Ab chalein?”

“Ji,” Nidhi gave up looking guilty at making him do that, but secretly pleased,“Diagnostic centre hai paas mein.”

—

X-ray report did not take much time to come. Ashutosh saw it first and the look on his face worried Nidhi. “Kya hua?” she asked.

“I hate you for doing this, Nidhi,” not shouting at her took a lot of effort for him, “Tumne mujhse waada kiya tha ki tum apni health ka khayaal rakhogi. Dekho ise – I am 99% sure there is a tumour. Chalo hospital. Abhi.”

Nidhi blanched as she saw the x-ray for herself, “Ye… Ye kuchh aur bhi to ho sakta hai na…” she said more to herself than to him, “Mujhe realize nahin hua…”

Ashutosh softened when he saw her so frightened, “Koi baat nahin, Nidhi. Nothing that can not be treated. Aur sirf x-ray se confirm bhi nahin ho sakta. Chalo hospital.”

Nidhi followed him silently.

—

Doctors in the gynaecology department decided to do angiography to rule out other possibilities with similar symptoms. It was an invasive procedure and she had to be given anaesthesia for that.  When the reports came to Ashutosh, her anaesthesia had still not worn off.

“Tumour hi hai, Dr. Ashutosh,” the gynacologist told him, “Immediately fatal nahin hai. But it will grow and ultimately uterus remove karna hi padega. Jitni jaldi kar diya jaye utna behtar hai. Warna pain badhta hi jayega.”

Ashutosh nodded. Dr. Mathew was also with him.

“I think we should inform her family,” Mathew said. He was her boss and felt responsible.

“Yeah. Tum aisa karo, Mathew, inke father ko seedhe call mat karo. Woh ghabra jayenge. Main tumhein inki friend ka number deta hoon. Unhein inform karna. Wahi inke father ko bhi bata dengi.”

Anji was promptly informed and she rushed to talk to Baba. She called back to inform that she, her mother Shyama and Nidhi’s Baba were taking the next flight to Delhi.

“Doctor,” a nurse came out of Nidhi’s room, “Unhein hosh aaya tha lekin woh bahut pain mein thi. To maine unhein pain-killers aur sedatives de diye hain. She is sleeping again.”

Ashutosh was disappointed. He was hoping to talk to her before her Baba came.

“Aapne unhein diagnosis bata diya hai,” she asked the nurse.

“Ji. Koi problem hai kya? Mujhe laga ki who khud doctor hain…”

“Nahin, nahin. Its okay,” Ashutosh did not admonish the nurse, but he thought she had been callous. He worried about Nidhi.

“Tum mere office mein wait kyon nahin karte, Ashutosh,” Mathew offered, “Tumhari flight?”

“Cancel karwa li hai.”

“Oh,” Mathew was surprised, but he did not ask anything, “That’s nice of you.”

“Mathew. Do you think you can extend my reservation at AIIMS guest house for a few days? I will pay for that, of course. Ya phir yahan aas-paas koi hotel hai…”

“Don’t worry, Ashutosh. Guest house mein reservation ki problem nahin hogi. ”

—

Anji managed to find a flight in two hours and they landed in Delhi before Nidhi woke up.

“Baba!” Nidhi spotted him as soon as she opened her eyes. Anji and Shyama also came to her on finding her awake.

“Nidhi. Beta tum theek to ho na?” Baba was very worried.

Nidhi didn’t reply. She clutched Baba’s hands and started crying.

“Nidhi. Kya hua? Dard ho raha hai? Main doctor ko bulata hoon.”

“Baba. Main bulati hoon. Aap rukiye,” Anji said.

“Nahin Anji. Tum Nidhi ke paas baitho,” Baba insisited. He thought that Nidhi might want to talk to the women.

Shyama and Anji both tried to comfort Nidhi, but she kept crying.

Baba met the nurse on his way to the doctor’s cabin and told her that Nidhi was awake and probably in pain. The nurse rushed to the room. Baba went on to get the doctor.

“Kya baat hai Nidhi? Kuchh bol to… Dard ho raha hai?”Anji tried to comfort her.

“Dr. Ashutosh…” Nidhi murmured.

“Dr. Ashutosh?” Anji was surprised and looked at Shayama. Neither of them knew what to say or do. Why was she looking for Dr. Ashutosh in Delhi? Was she not fully conscious? Was something wrong?

“Dr. Mathew ke kamre mein wait kar rahe hain. Main unhein bula kar laati hoon,” the nurse said surprising them even further.

“Dr. Ashutosh yahan hain?” Anji looked at Nidhi questioningly. Nidhi continued crying and didn’t say anything.

Ashutosh came running and reached there before Baba and doctor did.

“Namaste,” he greeted Shyama; then addressed Anji, “Hello Anji.”

“Hello Dr. Ashutosh. Aap yahan?”

“Ek guest lecture dene ke liye aaya tha.”

“Oh!” Anji recalled that Rangnath had told her about Dr. Ashutosh being  out of station. But she did not know he was in Delhi. And in AIIMS.

“Anji. Hum bahar chal kar Bhai Sahab ko dekhte hain,” Shayama decided to leave Ashutosh and Nidhi alone.

“Nidhi bahut pain mein hai, Dr. Ashutosh. Jab se aankhein kholi hai roye ja rahi hai,” Anji told him before leaving the room.

Ashutosh nodded to acknowledge her worry and waited till they had left. Then he went and sat beside Nidhi on the bed.

He took her hand in his and she clutched it hard, the way she had done with Baba and Anji earlier. He had guessed that it wasn’t the pain that was bothering her.

“Dar lag raha hai?” he asked softly.

She nodded.

“Ghabrane ki koi baat nahin hai, Nidhi. Tumhein pata hai ki ye theek ho jayega. Aur operation bilkul safe hai.”

Nidhi didn’t share what was really bothering her. But his presence calmed her down.

Shyama stopped him when Baba came back with the doctor.

“Ruk jaiye, Bhai Sahab. Thodee der baad jaate hain.”

“Kyon? Nidhi akeli kyon hai? Use dard ho raha tha.”

“Dr. Ashutosh andar hain,” Anji didn’t beat around the bush.

“Dr. Ashutosh?” Baba was shocked, “Yahan? Kaise?”

“Woh sab baad mein bataungi, Baba. Lekin Nidhi unke liye poochh rahi thi baar baar. I think… we should wait,” Anji knew why Baba was against Nidhi’s and Dr. Ashutosh’ relationship. Like Nidhi, she also acknowledged so far that he meant well. But today the way she had seen Nidhi pine for Ashutosh, she was affected much more by her suffering than by Baba’s good intentions. So, she was unsually sharp while speaking to Baba and stopping him from interfering. Baba noticed that, but did not say anything.

Ashutosh came out soon and was at first unsettled to see Baba. He wasn’t sure how he would react. He greeted him and then explained his presence, “Main yahan ek guest lecture dene ke liye aaya tha. Ittefaaq se Nidhi se mulaaquaat ho gayi aur maine notice kiya ki she was in pain. Isliye checkup ke liye le aaya.”

“Thank you, Dr. Ashutosh. Kahne ko doctor hai, lekin apna khayaal rakhna use aata nahin.”

Ashutosh nodded and said, “Woh theek hai. Dard nahin ho raha use. Bas ghabra gayi thi. Doctor aap please check kar lijiye,“ he addressed the gynaecologist.

—

To be continued

Sacrifices (Part 13)

Posted MishLeave a commentPosted in Ashni (KTLK), Fan Fiction, Hinglish

Mathew was unaware of the storm lurking behind their seemingly normal bearings. “Ashutosh. Ye bhi ek reason hai ki mujhe lagta hai tumhein teaching mein aana chahiye. Ye Dr. Nidhi Verma. Kamaal ki training di hai tumne inhein. Waise to khud bhi PG student hi hain, lekin ward mein MBBS interns inse itna darte hain jitna ki mujhse bhi nahin darte. Mazaal hai ki koi paanch minute bhi der se aaye. Ya zara bhi apni duty shirk kare. Aur khud to ye hamesha samay ke pahle hi taiyaar rahti hain. Aur haan – apni in saari aadaton ka credit tumhein deti hain. Kyon Dr. Nidhi?”

Nidhi smiled nervously, “Sir aap bhi… Hello, Dr. Ashutosh. Aap kaise hain?” she kept up the pretence by asking expected question.

“Main theek hoon. Aur aap?” he followed the suit.

She gulped slightly before replying, “I am fine.”

“Dr. Nidhi. Aapse ek favour chahiye tha,” Mathew said.

“Yes Sir?”

“Dr. Ashutosh yahan ek guest lecture dene ke liye aaye hain. Aur mujhe abhi unhein lunch par le jaana hai. Lekin meri ek urgent lunch meeting schedule ho gayi hai. To main ja nahin sakta. Taste of Delhi restaurant mein do logon ke liye table booked hai. Agar aap lunch time par free ho to kya aap Dr. Ashutosh ko host kar sakti hain?”

“Ji?” Nidhi looked at Ashutosh unsurely. But he looked impassive. “Main free hoon,” she said hesitatingly, “In fact post-lunch bhi meri duty nahin hai. To koi problem nahin hogi.”

“That’s great then. Ashutosh. Tumhein ek taxi mili hui hai, right? Aap log use use kar sakte hain.”

“Okay, Dr. Mathew. Waise main aapko ye project reports dene aayi thi,” Nidhi handed him a file.

“Yeah. Thanks. Main ise padh loonga.”

“Chalein, Dr. Ashutosh? Ek baj rahe hain, lunch ka time to ho hi gaya hai.”

“Yeah.”

—

They were quiet during the short drive to the restaurant. They had met after more than year. A lot had been done in between, and very little said. Ashutosh had cast her away from his life. It wasn’t easy to break the ice and the presence of driver made it impossible.

But as soon as they were seated, Ashutosh could not bear the silence any longer. “I am sorry,” he blurted.

“Kis liye?” she tried hard to control it, but her voice quivered.

“Yeah,” he spoke, his guilt apparent, “Bahut saari cheezon ke liye. Jo maine kiya, aur jo main kar raha hoon, sirf isliye ki mujhe nahin pata hai ki what can I do better.”

They were interrupted by the waiter who served them the water and asked them if they wanted to go a-la-carte or for the buffet. Ashutosh looked at Nidhi.

“Buffet,” she told the waiter. That would give them more time to themselves without any interruptions. They served themselves soup and salad and came back to their table.

“Aapne mujhe bataya bhi nahin ki aap yahan aa rahe hain?” Nidhi questioned him.

Ashutosh nodded, but stayed silent.

“Agar main abhi Dr. Mathew ke office mein nahin aati to mujhe pata bhi nahin chalta…”

“Nidhi, please!” Ashutosh pleaded. He had no answers for her.

She stopped talking and started sipping her soup. They went through the motion of having their lunch without talking further.

“Aapke paas abhi time hai?” she finally asked when they came out of the restaurant.

“Haan. Meri flight raat mein hai.”

“Ghar chalenge aap?”

“Ghar?”

“Well – ek bedroom ka chhota sa flat hai…”

“Lagta hai PG students ki salary badh gayi hai,” Ashutosh joked, “Akele flat le kar rah rahi ho?” It was unsual for PG students to stay on their own. Typically they would share accommoation with other students.

“Baba pay par rahe hain iske liye.”

“Hmm.. Chalo phir.”

The little joke about the salary had finally broken the ice. But they stayed silent during the drive because of the driver.

“Mujhse bahut naaraaz ho, Nidhi?” Ashutosh asked her after they reached her home.

“Aapse naraaz ho kar kissi ka kya kar loongi main?” Nidhi replied sadly.

“I want you to move on, Nidhi. I want you to be happy.”

Her eyes grew moist on hearing that.

“Nidhi…”

“Dr. Ashutosh. Duniya mein do log hain jinse main bahut pyaar karti hoon.  Aur itni khushkismat hoon ki woh do log bhi mujhse bahut pyaar karte hain. Hamesha meri bhalai ki sochte hain. Lekin phir bhi – woh dono jo aaj kar rahe hain, use mujhe khushi milne ki jagah sirf pain mil raha hai. Hurt ho rahi hoon main. Unke intention mein to koi burai nahin hai. Main unse shikayat bhi nahin kar sakti. To iska matlab to ye hua na ki mujhme hi kuchh galat hai? Mujhme hi koi kami hai ki mere aas paas itna pyaar hote hue bhi main khush nahin hoon? Bataiye na, Dr. Ashutosh? Kya galat hai mujhme? Baba bhi meri bhalai chahte hain; aap bhi. Lekin phir bhi main khush kyon nahin hoon?” Tears started flowing out of her eyes unhindered.

“Oh God!” Ashutosh shut his eyes in pain. How miserable she was, and how poignantly she had managed to convey it. Then he went to her and pulled her in his arms, “I had no idea… I am ashamed to admit, Nidhi, ki main apne dard mein, apni pareshaaniyon mein itna kho gaya ki kabhi socha hi nahin ki maine tumhein akele chhod diya hai. I am so sorry. I am really sorry, Nidhi. Main bahut sharminda hoon. Main bilkul andha ho gaya tha…”

“Aapne apna phone kyon disconnect karwaya?” Nidhi demanded after they broke the hug.

“Main… Mujhe laga… Ab main kya explain karoon, Nidhi? Obviously main galat tha. Jaise main soch raha tha, woh galat tha…”

“Lekin soch kya rahe the aap? Dr. Rangnath ko promise kar ke bhi aap wedding mein nahin aaye… Phir ghar se bhi gayab the… Aur uske baad…”

“Nidhi. Jis wajah se maine aane ka waada kiya tha, usi wajah se use tod bhi diya. Main taiyaar hua tha wedding mein aane ke liye. Kyonki main tumhein dekhna chahta tha, tumse milna chahta tha. Lekin aakhiri waqt par mujhe realize hua ki jo kuchh main kar raha hoon, usse tumhare Baba ko jo waada kiya tha woh tod raha hoon. Isliye shaadi mein nahin aaya. Phone disconnect karwa diya kyonki mujhe laga ki hamara phone par baatein karna, rather chup rahna, bhi sahi nahin tha. Jab tak tum Lucknow mein thi, utna waqt maine khud ko, hum dono ko diya tha… Lekin uske baad… Main khud par to sakht ho hi raha tha. Lekin maine ye nahin socha ki tum par kitna sakht ho raha tha main.”

“Phone katwa kar aapne mere saath bahut bura kiya, Dr. Ashutosh,” all the annoyance that she had kept buried inside her all these days was coming out now. She hadn’t been able to share it with even Anji or Armaan, “Aapko pata hai main kitna tadpi hoon aapki awaaz ek baar sunne ke liye? Sirf woh ‘hello’ jo aap bolte the. Kabhi-kabhi woh bhi nahin bolte the. Bas phone utha kar apna kaam karte rahte the. Lekin usse mujhe kitna sukoon milta tha. Aap bahut bure hain. Bahut bure hain. Bahut galat kiya aapne mere saath,” Nidhi complained and started crying again.

“Nidhi. Please, please rona band karo. Suno – main abhi tumhare saath chal kar naya connection leta hoon. Pre-paid immediately mil jayega na. Tumhare naam se le lenge. Tumhara to address proof bhi hoga. Abhi chalo…”

“Ye Delhi ka number hoga. Lucknow mein roaming par rahega.”

“To kya hua? Chalega to hai na. Chalo abhi mere saath…”

Nidhi smiled finally, “Uski zaroorat nahin hai, Dr. Ashutosh. Mujhe aap par bharosa hai. Aap Lucknow ja kar naya number le lijiyega. Abhi bas aap baithiye. Jo thoda samay hai, main aapke saath bitaana chahti hoon. Main aapke liye chai laun?”

“Button daba kar?” Ashutosh asked playfully.

“Nahin. Paani electric kettle mein garm kar ke usmein tea-bag daal kar.”

Ashutosh laughed and nodded.

—

To be continued