Mish' Fiction

The wedding was a simple affair with only some of Paritosh’ colleagues in attendance. But he had splurged on Rupali and her brothers. While Rupali could barely keep track of the dresses and jewelry that had been bought for her, her brothers, apart from new clothes and watches, received a new bicycle, laptop and mobile phone each. Rupali grew tearful at their bewilderment and excitement. She hugged them and pleaded, “Never let him down, guys. Even Ma and Baba would not have spoiled you so.”

“Should we return some of it, Didi?” Sugata asked anxiously.

“No silly. That would hurt him. Just–”

“Don’t worry, Didi,” Soumitra assured her, “We can never let you down. So we will never let him down.”

Rupali was at first anxious, then relieved, that Maya also attended their wedding, although she stayed only for a short while. Paritosh assured her that Maya was fine. A little sad, perhaps, but fine.

She entered Paritosh’ house happy and excited after the wedding, content in the knowledge that she could call it her own home now. But once alone with him, she was surprised to find that he didn’t act amorous at all. Instead, his attention was focused on a bunch of papers that he was laying out on the bed.

“What are these?” she asked, impatient.

“Give me one more minute and I will explain,” he replied.

At last he turned to her and said, “I need you to sign some papers. I will explain what they are about.”

First were the set of papers he had shown her earlier, about setting money aside for Soumitra and Sugata. He had waited until the wedding to sign them because there were significant tax advantages in transferring assets to relatives. The next set involved transfer of some other assets and properties in Rupali’s name. She had reconciled herself to his idea of creating a separate fund for her brothers. But this outright transfer of assets to her made her hesitant.

“Why do you think you have to do this, Dr. Khanna?” she asked, “You know that I trust you, don’t you?”

“I do. And I ask you sign these for my sake, not yours. I need you to know that you are truly an equal in this relationship.”

“And I know that–”

“Please. Think of this as a wedding gift, if nothing else?”

She shook her head, then started signing the papers without even glancing at its content.

“Read them, at least,” he objected.

“I can sign off my life to you right now, Dr. Khanna. I don’t need to read the papers you have prepared.”

After signing all the papers, she looked up at him and asked, “Anything else?”

“Yes,” he replied, then silently gathered the papers and put them in a drawer. After that he spoke again, “There is another matter. Very important.”

“What?”

“The matter of,” he sat beside her and held her by arms, “How you address you husband.”

She frowned in confusion.

“He has a name, you know. And he likes to be addressed by that,” he added, grinning.

She broke into a smile and shook her head.

“Dr. Khanna, Sir and Prof. Khanna are banned words for you now, wifey.”

“I will try,” she muttered.

“Say it. Now!”

She leaned on him and whispered into his chest, “Paritosh!”

—

“You’re not preparing for the test at all,” Paritosh stopped on hearing Soumitra’s anguished voice. He was angry at his brother, it seemed.

“I am too sleepy now, Piku. I will revise in the morning.”

“Didi has not been checking up on you these days. So you’ve become too careless. Class tenth is important, Pintu. You can’t study for board exams just the night before.”

“Arre. I will study, yaar. Just not today. I am so tired after the match.”

Paritosh moved on, thoughtful. He hadn’t wanted to bother Rupali, although he had noticed the issue for a while. A few days ago, Soumitra had come to him to take his permission to join a new tuition where the fees were higher. Before that they needed money for school picnic. Apparently every time they went to Rupali for something, she would tell them to ask Paritosh. As much as Paritosh tried to be their friend and make them comfortable, they couldn’t feel so.

He found Rupali in Meenal’s room and sat there for a while. Meenal’s progress in last few months had been tremendous and her communication had improved much. She talked in complete sentences now and was more forthcoming about her needs. She would ask for food when hungry and would go to bathroom on her own when she needed to relieve herself.

“You used to cook special breakfast for the twins on Saturdays earlier, right?” Paritosh asked Rupali.

“Sometimes. They like luchi-aaloo. That essentially poori and potato-gravy.”

“You never cooked it here, did you?”

She smiled at him, “You wouldn’t even look at such heavy breakfast.”

“Well, tomorrow is Saturday. Perhaps you could cook luchi-aaloo. I wouldn’t mind heavy breakfast on Saturday.”

“Okay,” she agreed but wondered why he was suddenly interested in breakfast menu.

“And how is their studies going? Soumitra and Sugata’s?”

“Fine. I guess…” she grew nervous now and was sure that something was going on in Paritosh’ mind.

“What is it, Paritosh?”

He shook his head and seeing her nervous look assured her, “Don’t worry. But can we go to our room for a while?”

She nodded. Paritosh told Meenal where the two of them would be and then she was happy to be left alone with her drawing book.

Despite his assurance, Rupali was worried and scared when they reached their bedroom. “I have messed up something, haven’t I?” she said, “I haven’t been paying attention to them. What has gone wrong? Has something happened to them?”

“Calm down, Rupali. Please. Don’t let your imaginations run wild. Nothing has gone wrong.”

She took a deep breath and waited for him to continue.

“You are taking a much-deserved break from the responsibilities you were too young to handle. But there was something both of us overlooked. I can attend to all their reasonable needs, Rupali, but you are the only guardian they have ever known. That is a place it will take me a long time to take. We can’t leave a vacuum until then. They are at an age where they need a guardian. Perhaps Soumitra less so than Sugata. But even he looks up to you in a way he can’t do with me.”

Rupali bowed her head as the effect of her preoccupation with her own happiness on her brothers sank in. She had been sending them to Paritosh for every little thing. She hadn’t realized that more than money for their necessities, they must have been seeking her advice and approval.

“Come on, now, Rupali,” Paritosh took her in his arms on seeing her condition, “You are stronger than that. No harm has been done and you don’t have to worry about your responsibilities. You always have me to pass them on to. You just need to continue being their big sister, that you are at your heart.”

“Thank you,” she said, holding him tight, “I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life.”

He broke the hug and smiled at her, “And I couldn’t have been happier to be anything for anybody else. Do you want to talk to them now?”

She nodded.

“Then wipe your tears, wash your face and go to them. I just heard Soumitra lamenting that Sugata has been ignoring his studies. I will be with Meenal.”

She did as he asked and before leaving turned to him, “I will cook luchi-aaloo tomorrow. But you don’t need to eat it. I’ll make something lighter for you.”

“But I want to eat it. It has been talked about quite often and has now acquired a mythical status for me.”

“Eat at your own peril then,” she grinned, “Because there will also be chicken for lunch.”

He laughed as she capered off.

– The End –

She knocked at his door although it was open. He was sitting sprawled on the carpeted floor, his back resting against the bedframe and his eyes were closed.

He opened his eyes and was startled, “Rupali!”

“Can I come in?” she asked, smiling.

He stood up and came to her, “You are still on bedrest. Don’t be roaming about the house.”

“You already spoil me by caring so much. It’ll take me some time to get used to the idea that I could be spoiled more. Try not to get angry if I falter in the beginning.”

He ran his hands over her ear-rings, then held her hand and led her to the bed.

“I’m sorry,” he said after they were seated, “I over-reacted.”

“I did too,” she replied, “Worrying has become my second nature.”

He nodded. “As a matter of fact, I admire how responsible you are. But–”

“But I am tired. I do want to let go.”

“And I am happy to take over. Let go, Rupali. The more you got involved with Meenal, the more I let go of my worries about her. I now know that even if something happened to me, she would be safe with you. Your worries are easy for me to handle. So don’t hesitate. Let go.”

She leaned forward and he embraced her gently. “Let go,” he murmured again in her ears.

—

“What’s cooking?” Soumitra entered the kitchen, excited to find Rupali there. He was missing the familiar taste of Rupali’s cooking.

“Mutton,” she replied.

“Not chicken?” he asked, somewhat surprised. In the moments of indulgence, the siblings’ preferred choice of meat was chicken.

“Nope!”

“But you cook chicken so well.”

“Don’t worry, Piku. I will cook mutton as well. It is Dr. Khanna’s favorite.”

“Ah! I see,” Soumitra managed to flash a teasing grin at her, while fighting an inner anxiety. Her priorities were changing!

“He will come home late today,” Rupali continued, “Now that I am finally allowed to do some work, I want to surprise him with a nice dinner.”

“Great idea,” Soumitra replied and made to leave.

“Piku,” she stopped him, “Can you book me a taxi after half-an-hour?”

“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“Check online where the nearest Lakme parlour is.”

“Okay.”

—

“Papa is home, Meenu,” Rupali told Meenal when she heard Paritosh parking his car, “Meenu will stay with Friend, okay?”

“Meenu will stay with Friend.”

“Good girl,” Rupali took Meenal to the boys’ room and settled her beside Soumitra with her toys. Then she rushed to Paritosh’ bedroom.

Paritosh entered his room and was about to switch on the lights when the dim glow of a candle arrested his attention. Rupali looked surreal sitting on a chair wearing the same white dress that had brought them together.

Paritosh inhaled sharply, then deposited his bag on the floor and walked towards her. She stood up and met him midway.

“Welcome home,” she beamed at him.

He started her by responding with a hungry, passionate kiss. “There couldn’t have been a better welcome,” he said after breaking the kiss.

“You haven’t seen the real welcome gift,” she replied, panting and flushed from the kiss.

“No? Let’s see it then,” He led her back to the coffee table where the candle was lit and his eyes widened in surprise at the spread there.

“You… cooked all this?”

She nodded.

“Good God!” He gave her a quick peck on forehead and said, “I will be back.”

He went to the bathroom and came back after freshening up and changing into a comfortable kurta-paijama.

He took his place on the chair opposite hers and rubbed his hands in excitement. “All my favorite dishes!”

Rupali chuckled, “There’s no telepathy involved there. I asked the cook what you like.”

To Rupali’s delight he ate with relish and particularly liked the mutton she had labored on.

“Shall I cook from now on?” she asked at the end.

He laughed heartily. “I will soon be overweight if you did that, Rupali. No. Let this be an occasional delight. This is too special to be done every day.”

“I don’t have much to do the entire day.”

“We will correct that once you have fully recovered,” he smiled and stood up wiping his hand on the napkin. “What about the kids? Have they eaten?”

“Yes. I will go and put Meenal to bed. Did you meet her already?”

“No. I will come with you and wish her good night.”

After they took Meenal to her room, Rupali asked Paritosh to go back and rest as he would be tired.

“I am going, but after Meenal is asleep, you must come straight to me,” he whispered in her ears before leaving.

She gulped hard and lied down beside the little girl with her heart thumping so loud that for a moment she worried if that the noise would keep the child awake. Meenal, however, cooperated by falling asleep quickly.

Rupali did not go straight to Paritosh’ room as he had demanded. She went to her own room first, washed herself and touched up her makeup using her newly acquired makeup kit. Only after taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down did she finally make for his room.

She stopped at his doorway and looked around. Their dirty plates had been cleared away. He must have done it himself. He had also remade the bed as the fresh, crisp bedsheet attested. She took a deep breath again and that drew his attention to her. He had been sitting sprawled on the bed. He got down and came to her. Without a word, he held her hands and brought them to his lips. Then he noticed her manicured hands and painted nails. He smiled.

“In relishing the food,” he said, “I forgot to tell you how beautiful you look today.”

She averted her eyes.

“Rupali,” he lifted her chin to make her look him in the eyes, “Are you happy?”

“Extremely,” she replied and her eyes moistened.

He led her inside the room and bolted the door. Standing beside the bed he expertly undid the hooks of her dress and then let it slip on the floor. Rupali felt self-conscious for a moment, then closed her eyes and let herself be drifted by his strong, expert, guiding hands.

Later as they lay spent on the bed, he turned to her and asked, “How soon can we get married?”

“As soon as you are ready,” came the unhesitant reply.

He chuckled, “Left to me, we could go and find a pundit right away. But tell me what do you want your wedding to be like? What are your dreams?”

She snuggled up closer and rested her head on his chest, “I dream of nothing except being here, beside you, at peace. Do you need a big wedding?”

“No.”

“Then let’s go and find a pundit right away.”

He chuckled again, “I am too tired now. But soon enough.”

She reached for her dress, but he interrupted, “You can’t wear that to bed.”

“I will go and find a night dress in my room.”

“No, stay,” he commanded. He put on his kurta and went to his cupboard. He rummaged through it and tossed a baggy t-shirt at her. “That should do for now.”

She flushed, but complied by wearing the t-shirt and slipping back under the covers.

They didn’t go to sleep immediately. His head was full of plans. For her. She would have about ten months to rest and enjoy. The next year Meenal would start going to school. And that’s when she would restart her studies too. Perhaps an open university for under-graduation, and then join a regular one for post-graduation. She wondered if she still had it in her to be able to study and write exams. He assured her that studying will be a piece of cake compared to all the responsibilities she had been handling until then.

Silently she vowed to prove him right. If for no other reason, then to safeguard his reputation. It wouldn’t do for a professor to have an uneducated woman as his wife. She drifted off to sleep with happy and hopeful thoughts in her head.

—

To be continued

“About Maya?”

She looked at him in surprise.

“Ask away, Rupali.”

“What happened? You were going to get married.”

“This happened!” he picked up the polythene bag from the side table and handed it to her.

She emptied the bag and stared wide-eyed at the white dress that tumbled out.

“This!”

“She saw it,” Paritosh said, “And knew immediately.”

“It wasn’t for her?”

“What do you think?”

“You had asked me how she would like it or something like that. I was so scared because whatever I said it didn’t seem to satisfy you.”

“I was annoyed with you.”

“With me?”

“For not seeing what should have been plain to anyone.”

“I didn’t dare compare myself to Maya Ma’am. I still don’t. She is so elegant. And she must hate me now.”

“She doesn’t hate you. She doesn’t hate even me. If it matters, I didn’t end the relationship. I had no intention of doing so. I am grateful to her. In the days following Amrit’s suicide, I was a broken man and she really came through for me. But I guess gratefulness doesn’t make one a good lover. Eventually we couldn’t escape that.”

“This dress… You got this for me? In Lonavala?”

He nodded, then said, “Although I would never have had the courage to actually gift it to you had this day not come in the shape that it did. I didn’t think you would have appreciated it. And in all likelihood you would have refused.”

She gave a small, nervous smile.

“I want to see you wearing this.”

“Now?”

“Yes. Please?”

“If such a simple thing makes you happy, then why not?” she grinned and took the dress to the bathroom.

Once inside, she leaned against the door for a long minute. Her heart was threatening to leap out, it was thudding so loud. She undressed and quickly washed herself before wearing the dress that had brought her a lot of anxiety and a lot of happiness.

She found Paritosh standing near the dresser, waiting for her, his eyes fixed in the direction he expected her to come from. When she met his eyes, she wondered if others had already seen the expression that she was seeing for the first time. Because there was no mistaking the love and desire in them. She went and stood in front of him.

“I am so glad I bought this dress,” he whispered in her ears, then produced a small pouch from his pocket, “And this too.”

She looked at it curiously as he opened it and expertly put two sparkling ear-rings on her.

“These are–“

“Diamonds for the most precious person in my life!” he replied and did not give her time to react. He pressed his lips against hers and pried opened her mouth, tasting her to his heart’s content. Before they knew it they had stumbled on the bed and writhing in each other’s embrace. Her precious dress would have been torn but for the interruption from the baby monitor. Meenal was awake and was calling Paritosh.

Paritosh stopped and gave a perplexed look to Rupali. Then they both broke into a laughter and sat up.

“I will go check on her,” Paritosh said.

“I will come with you,” Rupali was right beside him as he climbed out of the bed.

After they put Meenal to sleep again, Paritosh came back with Rupali to her room, but stopped at the door. She realized that after a moment.

“What we were about to do,” he responded to her quizzical look, “It is too early for that. We need to let the feeling settle down. At least, I need to.” He came forward and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Is that okay?”

She blushed hard and nodded, hoping that her disappointment didn’t show up on her face. He was being wise, but her body was on fire after their accidental foreplay.

“Have a good night, Rupali.”

“Good night, Dr. Khanna.”

—

The next evening Paritosh came to her with some draft papers. He was setting aside money for Soumitra and Sugata. She fidgeted and Paritosh noticed.

“What is it?”  he asked.

“I didn’t think you literally meant to do this. I mean… You don’t need to hand over the money to them or me, Dr. Khanna. I don’t have the slightest doubt that you will support them.”

“Don’t take it otherwise, Rupali. It’s just that life is unpredictable. And I don’t want you or your brothers to ever feel stranded again. At least not financially.”

“They will be spoiled.”

“You and I operate this money,” he smiled, “So no! They won’t be spoiled.”

“I’ll be spoiled in that case.”

“That is perfect. I want to spoil you,” he grinned and kissed her on forehead. Then he noticed that she looked even more uncomfortable. “What is it, now?” he asked, frowning.

“You don’t need to spoil me with money,” she replied, “My brother’s education and their needs – yes. Those are absolute necessities. You transferred a huge amount to my account today. Perhaps I can use some of it. But these diamonds? You should return these.”

“Are you crazy? Why would I return them?”

“Because I don’t need them.”

“Of course, you don’t need them? Nobody eats or drinks diamonds. That’s not what they are bought for.”

“Why are you getting angry?”

“Because the one thing I had expected in our relationship was that the question of money should not arise again. And yet you are behaving like–” he stopped short and stormed out of the room leaving Rupali baffled and miserable. She hadn’t meant to fight with him at all. For a while she stayed in her room growing angry at him and his reaction. But patience had become her second nature in the long years of struggle. That nature finally raised its head and calmed her down. On reflecting at the incident from his point of view, things finally began to make sense to her. She stared at the diamond ear-rings for a long minute, then put them on. They were a complete mismatch to the old, faded dress she had been wearing at home. But she wasn’t going to lose time in dressing up.

—

To be continued

Then he held her hands and kissed them one by one. He watched her shiver. He spread her palm and looked at them. Her brows furrowed. “Whatever was worrying you about your hands,” he looked her in the eyes and said, “Is not something that can’t be taken care of in a few hours in a salon. If you want, that is. I don’t care either way. Whatever education you don’t have can be acquired in a few years. Whatever money you don’t have I do. And if you insist and care, you can acquire a decent amount, perhaps in a decade or a half. But the strength of character, the goodness of heart and the purity of soul cannot be bought with time and money, Rupali.”

Tears welled up in her eyes again, but she was smiling now and so it didn’t worry either of them.

“Oh yes, yes! That was a brilliant move,” they heard Sugata shout in a distance and looked in that direction.

“Meenal is watching them play chess!” Rupali exclaimed.

“She was happy to sit with her ‘friend’. So I left her there.”

Rupali smiled indulgently. Then she looked back at him and said, “Soumitra will be mad at me if I said ‘yes’ to you.”

“Why? He doesn’t approve?”

“He complains that I change my mind every time I talk to you. And I prove him right repeatedly.”

“You hadn’t wanted to say yes?”

“I hadn’t imagined this question will actually pop up.”

“You haven’t yet answered, you know.”

“You have spoken at length to me. How can I say no?”

“Say yes.”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. Forever yes.”

He kissed her deep this time and did not let go until they were both panting.

Rupali realized much later that this time she hadn’t dreaded it when the kiss was coming, nor did she have to think about how to respond. It all happened automatically. And she gave no thought whatsoever to the wetness on her lips. She was grinning from ear to ear after they had parted.

—

Soumitra and Sugata were not surprised when Rupali told them about herself and Paritosh. They had guessed as much even by observing them from a distance and even though Paritosh had blocked their view later.

“Didi!” Soumitra spoke for both of them, as was usually the case, “Are you happy?”

“Yes,” she said simply, hoping that the expression on her face would convey her sincerity.

“Not for us. That’s not what I am asking, Didi. I understand that it will be good for us. Dr. Khanna will perhaps take care of our education and stuff. And yes – even your life will be easier. He loves you, any fool can see that. But do you love him?”

“Why do you think otherwise?”

“Didi. Mihir was a much better match for you, wasn’t he? Dr. Khanna is much older. And then he has a daughter. It is one to thing to bring us up because we had nobody else. It is one thing to look after Meenal because it was a well-paying job. But it is quite another to take her responsibility for life. Your marriage shouldn’t be about exchanging our responsibility for Meenal’s.”

“Mihir had money too, Piku. At least, his dad had. You insisted that I should tell him all about our situation and then see how he feels. You, perhaps, thought that he would stand by me. You might have been right. But I never could get myself to take him seriously. It’s difficult to explain. With Dr. Khanna it’s different. You know it, don’t you? Every time I talk to him I change my mind,” she chuckled here, then added, “In short. Yes, I love him. Even more importantly, I trust him and I can depend on him. And it isn’t about you guys, nor is it about Meenal. It’s about us. But I hope both of you will be able to accept it. Will you?”

“If this makes you happy, Didi,” Sugata spoke this time, “We are happy.”

—

Rupali wondered if Paritosh was parading the corridors waiting for her brothers to leave. Because as soon as they left he came in. He was carrying the baby monitor and a polythene bag. He deposited both on the side table and instead of taking his usual seat on the chair beside the bed, he sat on the edge of the bed where she was lying.

“How did they take it?” he asked, looking anxious.

“You seem to have been spying. You should know already.”

“I… I wasn’t–”

“Relax, Dr. Khanna. I was joking. They are happy.”

“Then so are you!”

“So am I, but…”

“But?” Anxiety flickered on his face again.

“But,” she sat up straight and leaned forward towards him, “It isn’t just about them. I am happy for myself too. You must know that.”

“Yes. I know that,” Paritosh started somberly, then broke into a grin, “Mihir also had money. At least his Dad had.”

“You had been spying!” Rupali cried.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Paritosh laughed, “Just a little. I was anxious. I didn’t hear the entire conversation, I swear.”

She made a face.

“It will take me some time,” he added somberly, “To get used to the idea that I can ask you whatever I want to know.”

“What all have you found out about me by spying?” she teased him.

He looked at the open door, got up, closed it, then came back to the bed and nudged her to shift. He sat beside her, sprawled like she was, and put his arms around her shoulders.

“Standing at the door I have watched you a countless number of times working with Meenal. Taking her through her exercises, helping her with her drawing, repeating the tasks counsellor had set for her, understanding her unspoken demands and I have wondered if my little daughter had the ability to make the right choices the way I never had. How had she taken to you the very first time she spotted you! Did she see something immediately that others took much longer to see? And slowly I came to the conclusion that she did. I don’t know how but she did.”

Rupali chuckled, “And you didn’t entertain the thought that it could have been just a coincidence?”

“May be. May be, it was just a coincidence. But I have not been able to cause such happy coincidences ever. So perhaps even that coincidence was God’s gift to me.”

“There is something I wanted to ask you. But it might be inappropriate. If you don’t want to answer–”

—

To be continued

“Would you like to go back and take rest?” he asked her after the lunch was over.

“I would like to sit here for a while, if that is all right.”

“Sure. I and the boys can try our hands at a game of chess.”

Rupali smiled and started walking towards the pool with Meenal. But Paritosh asked her to leave Meenal behind.

“You need some time off from her,” he said.

“She is not a bother at all, Sir.”

“Still. Leave her here.”

Rupali didn’t mind the solitary time. Her mind was in a whirlwind. She needed to settle it somehow.

She sat sprawled against a pole and closed her eyes. Paritosh was the best thing that had happened to her in years. Whether as an employer, or as a friend and a benefactor, he had made her life easier at every step. He had done all this without expecting anything in return and he still respected her and treated her with dignity. He never wanted her to feel inferior. And in giving her all the help she could ever hope for, he claimed his own happiness. Was Soumitra right then? Were Mihir’s misgivings about Paritosh’ feelings well-founded?

But how was that possible? She was nothing. She had no education, no money, no family, no talent. She wasn’t beautiful either. She opened her eyes and bent over the pool to look at her undulating image in it. The jaundice had made her already tanned, lanky, ageing face even more sickly. Then she folded her knees up and spread her hands out on them. The nails on her hands and feet looked even uglier than earlier. She was still staring at them when his feet came into her view. Her mind occupied by her muddled up thoughts didn’t completely process his sudden appearance. She didn’t remember her splayed palms. She stayed in the same position and looked up at him.

“What is bothering you?” he asked.

His question jolted her awake. She folded her hands around her knees as if that’s what she was in the process of doing when he had startled her with his question.

“Nothing,” she replied in a small voice.

He sat down before her, then held out his hand and asked, “Can I see your hands? It seems there was something there, which bothered you.”

“No, no!” she became anxious, “There was nothing.”

His did not withdraw his hand. Reluctantly, she put one of hers in his.

“Does it offend you,” he said clasping her hand in both of his, “That I am presuming to intrude on your most private thoughts.”

She shook her head.

“You don’t have to answer what I am asking. But I want to ask. What happened with Mihir? Are you no longer together? Why?”

“He fancied he was in love with me. But he was too young to know his own mind, much less mine.”

“As young as you.”

She withdrew her hands from his. “I am not as young as I should be. Neither in body, nor in mind. I’m not even sure what he saw in me. Perhaps it was just an easy conquest and he was too lazy to let it go.”

“Does it surprise you that men could fall for you?”

She looked away and replied. “Yes.”

“What would a man have to do to convince you that he is indeed in love with you?”

Rupali buried her head in her knees and stayed like that for a long time. Paritosh waited patiently.

Finally, she looked up. She appeared tired.

“Rupali!”

“I’m not worthy of being convinced, Dr. Khanna.”

“Let the one doing the convincing decide your worth.”

“Whatever I have right now is not much. But despite the ups and downs, despite the struggles, things are going in the right direction now. My brothers have turned out well. If I can support them for a few more years, they will do fine. And I will have the satisfaction of having done my duty by them. But if I reach for more right now, and it goes wrong, I will never be able to forgive myself.”

“So if I can convince you that irrespective of what happens between us, your brothers will be taken care of, will you give me a chance? Do I stand a chance of convincing you that I am not taking pity on you, or doing a charity for you, but that I am in love with you?”

“Why me?”

“It’s not like I have made all the right decisions in my life till now. I have lost money on reckless investments, I have fallen for wrong women, I have made bad decisions about my family, but never have I felt so drawn to a decision without any encouragement from anywhere else. There has been no salesman to lead me astray here, no coquetry or manipulation, not even an honest hint on your part to draw me to you. But I am drawn. And I am convinced that this is right. Perhaps it started in that moment when my daughter accepted you unconditionally. Perhaps my faith in you was sealed when I realized how much responsibility you have been carrying on your shoulders at such a young age. But it has gone far beyond all of that. Perhaps if we spend a lifetime together, I will have the time and means to express what I feel. Will you give me that time? Will you marry me?”

To his horror, Rupali started crying, biting her lips to avoid letting her sob escape which would have drawn the attention of her brothers.

“Damn it. Did I do it wrong? Rupali. Please. Are you scared? Have I presumed too much? If you don’t want it, just say so and everything goes back to as it was. You keep your job, you look after Meenal and I remain the same person I always was. Just don’t cry.”

“I am not scared,” she spoke through her sobs, “I am not scared of you.”

That gave him heart. He scrambled closer to her and held her by arms, “What are you scared of?”

“That all this is not true. That I am dreaming.”

He smiled, “And how do I convince you that you are not dreaming?”

He shifted so that he could block the view from children and then leaned forward. “Perhaps with this?” He gave a quick peck on her lips.

—

To be continued

Paritosh stepped away from Rupali’s door before Soumitra came out. He met him on the way and pretended that he was only now making his way towards Rupali’s room.

“How’s she?” Paritosh asked Soumitra by way of small talk.

“Looks fine to me,” Soumitra eyed him curiously, “But you should find out for yourself.”

When Paritosh went to her room, she wasn’t lying down. She was sitting sprawled on the bed, lost in her thoughts. He knocked at the open door.

“Dr. Khanna!” she was startled, “Please come in.”

“Your reports have come in. Things look good. Progressing as expected.”

“That’s good. I hope I will be back on my feet in two weeks.”

“You should be,” he said as he took a chair beside her bed.

“I hope that someday I am able to repay your kindness, Dr. Khanna.”

He looked down and wrung his hands, as if trying to take a tough decision. After a long pause, he looked up and spoke, “Perhaps someday I will ask you for something. Perhaps you will grant it to me and make me happy. But I wouldn’t want you to do it to repay any perceived kindness.”

Rupali felt her heart stop for a moment. Then she recovered and smiled. “That would be some progress. You becoming happy not by giving me something, but by getting something from me. Why don’t you ask right away? If there is something I can give you to make you happy, there is nothing I want more in the world right now than to give it to you.”

Paritosh shook his head and said, “No. It is too precious to be asked for frivolously.”

She closed her eyes and leaned back, “I am a simple, uneducated, poor girl, Dr. Khanna. Please don’t forget that.”

“Brave, resourceful, honest and humble too. Don’t forget that.”

“Just a creature of circumstances.”

“You should become a writer,” he said, realized his faux pas and maintained a straight face even as she started and looked at him searchingly. “You are good with words,” he offered an explanation.

She chuckled and shook her head.

“Do you need anything? You could read a bit, I suppose. If you don’t overstrain yourself.”

“I’m fine, Dr. Khanna. Soumitra got me some magazines.”

He nodded and got up to leave.

“Dr. Khanna,” she called him when he was at the door.

He turned.

“You are not a frivolous man. If you say something to me, I will never consider it frivolous.”

A hint of smile appeared on his face, “I’m glad to hear that.”

—

Rupali was still not fully recovered, but Meenal was now allowed to go near her. Meenal’s counsellor was perhaps happier than the child herself.

“She does much better, when Ms. Banerjee is around,” she told Paritosh, “I think we could start preparing her for school.”

Paritosh looked at Rupali. Soumitra and Sugata were also there and they looked at her too. Soumitra noticed her blushing and nudged Sugata, who grinned in response.

“We can’t yet do a full-fledged outing to celebrate Rupali’s recovery,” Paritosh announced, “But a small picnic by the pool won’t hurt. Rupali will have to eat her sick food still, I’m afraid. But we can have fun.”

“Where is the pool?” Sugata asked, his excitement barely suppressed.

“In this house.”

“There is a pool in this house?” he almost jumped in surprise.

Rupali shot him a cautioning glance, but he wasn’t looking at her.

“You swim?” Paritosh asked him.

“A little.”

“Keep your swimming costumes ready then. Tomorrow afternoon. Soumitra, you too.”

“I don’t know how to swim Dr. Khanna. I guess I will just laze around.”

“I will teach you. You will learn in no time.”

—

Paritosh and the boys were already in the pool when Rupali reached there with Meenal in her tow.

“Meenu water… Meenu water,” the girl demanded. Rupali recalled how she had enjoyed water at Lonavala. She took the child closer to the pool and sat at the edge with her. She watched fondly as Paritosh explained the basics of swimming to Soumitra and encouraged Sugata to try newer moves. He himself swam a few laps and seemed happy to be doing this.

Sitting on the edge was soon not enough for Meenal. She made gestures wanting to go into the water.

“Dr. Khanna,” Rupali interrupted his swimming reluctantly, “Meenal wants to go into the pool. Do you think you could manage that?”

“She does?” he asked, surprised.

“She was the one who had led me into water even in Lonavala.”

A cloud passed over his face as he recalled how Maya had blasted Rupali there. But the next moment he smiled brightly. “I had bought a floating device for the kid of a friend who was visiting. It should be lying somewhere. I will bring it,” he said.

Rupali gasped as he walked out of the pool in his swimming costume. His broad shoulders, toned belly and muscular arms made her heart stop. Suddenly she was aware why she had never found Mihir’s boyish embraces arousing. She was pining for the strong hold of these arms all through. She had to tear her eyes away from him with some effort. She hoped that her brothers, or worse Paritosh himself, had not noticed her gaping at him.

Meenal happily spent the next hour in the pool, floating around, directed by Paritosh and the twins. She had to be taken out of water almost against her will.

“We should bring her here more often,” Rupali said later, when they sat for the lunch the cook had packed them.

“Yes. Don’t you want to swim?” he took her by surprise by asking.

“I never learnt. I am not that enthusiastic.”

“You could try.”

She nodded non-commitally. She wasn’t going to spend on her swimsuit and more importantly she wasn’t going to stand before him wearing a swimsuit learning to swim. Although every now and then she wouldn’t mind seeing him coming out of the pool drenched, wearing only his swimming trunk. She chided herself for obsessing about it. But that didn’t stop her daydreaming.

—

To be continued

It was impossible not to give into the feeling of safety, security and love it brought to her. It was incredible to feel so cared for and to not have to worry. ‘It is only for few weeks,’ she reminded herself often, but forgot all about it as she slipped into her comfortable bed.

One source of uneasiness for her was that Maya was never around. Was it because of her? Could they have fought because of her presence in his house?

The other source of uneasiness, but also of immense gratification, was Paritosh’ solicitousness for her well-being. But she was jolted out of her near-carefree joy when she saw Soumitra working on a laptop one day.

“Whose laptop is this?”

“Mine!” he grinned at her.

“How did you get a laptop?”

“In a reuse-recycle competition.”

“What competition? Where?”

“A reuse-recycle competition. People had given away their non-functional electronic items for the competition. If you could repair it, you could take it home. Dr. Khanna saw me opening his desktop once and asked if I knew about internals of computers. I said I knew a little. Then he told me about this reuse-recycle drive his club was running and asked me if I would like to try a laptop his friend was giving away. It only needed a RAM replacement, then it was mine.”

“Only needed a whatever-you-said replacement? And this guy just gave it away?”

“I think so.” In face of Rupali’s skepticism, Soumitra was not so sure any longer.

“Did you meet this friend who had given away the laptop?”

“No. Dr. Khanna said it was lying at the club and he brought it home.”

“Can’t you see what is happening, Piku? He himself has gotten it for you. We are already too much in his debt. You make sure you return it.”

Soumitra looked at the laptop wistfully. But more difficult than parting with the laptop was the task of facing Paritosh.

“What do I tell him, Didi?” he asked, nervous about the unexpected responsibility that had just befallen him.

“I will talk to him,” Rupali declared to his relief.

—

She confronted him that evening.

“You gave Soumitra a laptop?”

“I didn’t give it to him,” Paritosh was quick to spot the trap.

“You concocted a ridiculous story, Dr. Khanna. He is young enough to fall for it. But I’m sorry, I can’t keep it.”

Paritosh stared at her for moment, then got up and left. Rupali’s heart sank. Was this how he was going to deal with it? By refusing to discuss it?

But he came back after a while, carrying his laptop.

“Here. See this mail. From my club’s administration. They are running a reuse-recycle drive and there is a competition being organized.” He was thankful to have adopted an alibi, which had a grain of truth in it. But she was also quick with spotting the one lie in the story.

“But the laptop was yours. Not your friend’s. Please Dr. Khanna. I can’t keep it.”

“It will make me happy if you did,” Paritosh said plainly.

That gave her a pause. Her voice was softer and apologetic when she spoke next, “You shouldn’t… Does Maya Ma’am approve of it?”

“She doesn’t have to. We are no longer together.”

Rupali practically jumped at the news. Then she gathered herself together and said, “I’m sorry to hear that.” Then she blurted quite against her good judgement, “You didn’t tell me.”

“Should I have?”

She averted her eyes.

“Anyway. The laptop wasn’t for you. I wasn’t using it, while Soumitra can use it for his studies. There is nothing wrong with it. If you let him keep it, I will be very happy.”

She nodded, her eyes still fixed to her lap.

Paritosh left without another word.

—

“I don’t understand you, Didi,” Soumitra was annoyed, “One moment something is not right. Another moment it is. We hadn’t imagined that you would consent to stay here even for a night. Then he speaks to you, and you are fine with not only staying here yourself for weeks, but also bringing us along. Yesterday it was a crime for me to have this laptop. He talks to you, and then it’s okay? What changed? Is it not his laptop?”

“It is,” Rupali replied in a guilty, sinking voice.

“Then what has changed?”

‘He no longer has a fiancee to object to it and it will make him happy,’ Rupali thought, but could hardly have offered that explanation to Soumitra.

“Piku. I am not a perfect person. I try to do the right thing. I also try to teach you guys the right things. But, perhaps, there is always more to understand, more to know. I don’t think we should ever impose ourselves on anyone. But if I do not recover, I will not be able to do my duty towards the two of you. If I insisted on staying at home, I would not have gotten the rest and care I needed. It felt right that I should give my body what it needs to recover. Between two rights, I could only choose one. Something similar has happened here too. I don’t want to be dependent on Dr. Khanna, although he is a nice, caring man. But after talking to him I also realized that my insistence on not accepting his help could hurt him. Somehow that didn’t sound right either. Perhaps I chose what was more important, perhaps I didn’t. But don’t be angry with me, my brother. I am trying my best.”

“You can be such a drama-queen,” Soumitra sighed and then smiled, “You should become a writer. You don’t need a degree for that.”

“People aren’t exactly dying to read my story. Anyway you go back to your studies. I better lie down.”

“Didi?”

“Hmm?”

“Is Dr. Khanna in love with you?”

“Don’t be an idiot, Piku. You think he doesn’t have better women in his life? Don’t you remember Maya Ma’am? Educated, graceful, well-groomed.”

“Where has she been these days? If they are in a relationship, isn’t it odd that she hasn’t been around at all?”

“I don’t know,” she lied because she didn’t want to fire up him imaginations further. He was moving towards a dangerous territory.

“Do you love him?”

“For God’s sake, Piku. Stop being a fool and go back to your studies.”

—

To be continued

Paritosh asked Soumitra and Sugata to stay away while he spoke to Rupali and broke to her the news of her illness.

“Jaundice?” she took the news calmly enough. Perhaps she didn’t know the implications. “What treatment is needed? For how long?” she asked further.

“A few weeks. Treatment is not complicated. It was detected early thanks to your fever. Some medicines, plain diet, lots of liquid and… bedrest.”

“Bedrest? For a few weeks?”

Paritosh braced himself for real fight now. “Yes.”

She chuckled, “We will see. When can I go home?”

“Today. But, Rupali–”

“What?” she looked at him sharply.

He sighed, then spoke patiently, “Please hear me out, Rupali. Can you do that?”

She nodded.

“Bedrest is not optional for you. It is absolutely necessary. You can talk to the doctor yourself, you can take a second opinion if you want. But trust me. Bedrest is not optional. It will help everyone, if you and your brothers agreed to stay with me for a few weeks – no wait – you agreed to hear me out. So hear me out. Jaundice is contagious. You can’t stay with Meenal all day. But you also know that she can’t do without you. If you are around in the house, she will be happy and then a maid can manage her. Someone can also take care of you and ensure that you get rest. Once you have recovered, everything goes back to normal. What you will have to do, however, is inform the folks at the pharmacy. I don’t know if you can get leave for such a long time from there. If not, I am afraid, you would have to resign. But when you are well again, I’m sure you will be able to find a job.”

She took a deep breath, and didn’t speak.

“Rupali,” Paritosh added, “Please don’t think that I am trying to hurt your self-respect. But really – there is no harm in helping each other in time of need. You have helped me with Meenal. Beyond what you are paid for.”

“You think I am overly conscious of my self-respect,” she snorted and looked at him. There was such sadness in those big, black eyes that Paritosh felt compelled to avert his for a moment. Then he willed himself to look back at her so that she didn’t stop speaking, “I don’t have that luxury, Dr. Khanna. I have worked in those supermarkets. Standing for hours together. You don’t even get toilet breaks and need to wear adult diapers. I have begged people to let us have a room to live in, but have had doors shut in my face. Not always because I couldn’t afford the rent, but because who wants to let a young girl with only two children for company stay in their house. God knows what she would be up to. If I had any self-respect, I wouldn’t have begged the man who claimed to love me to, but was now angry, to spare me my job. That too when he was calling me all the filthy names he could think of. If I had any self-respect, I would never have accepted the job back from you after you had fired me so unceremoniously and would definitely not have continued to keep it after Maya Ma’am–“

She stopped short, aware that she had spoken too much, and buried her head in her hands. She did not know how to deal with her frustration.

“Meenal’s mother,” Paritosh’ voice started her, “Her name was Amrit. She was fun to be with. Full of life. Life of the parties. At the time when you were dealing with the death of your parents, and the responsibilities that came with it, I was on the way of becoming the happiest man on the earth. I got married to Amrit. We had a great time initially. Then the excitement started dying down. Quarrels became a bit too frequent. It happens to all couples, we thought. Others confirmed. It was time to have a kid, and that would set everything right, that’s the advice we got. We went ahead. We were once again on cloud nine when Meenal was born. The first year went well. In the second year we started noticing issues. She was about two when she was diagnosed with Autism. Moderate on the spectrum, but enough to make her look not normal, enough to warrant extra effort, special treatment, enough to throw Amrit into a depression. Her life was a fairy tale. She couldn’t deal with this dose of reality. One day, about a year ago, I came home to find her sleeping beside our daughter. Meenal was trying to wake her up, but she was deep in sleep. When I tried to–” he stopped abruptly.

“What was it?” Rupali asked, having forgotten her own miseries for the time being.

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he opened them and looked at her, “She was dead. She had committed suicide. ‘I can’t deal with this,’ her note said, ‘Having a mentally-challenged daughter.’ That’s it. She left her child behind. To deal with the world on her own.”

“Were you reminded of that when you saw me sleeping?” Rupali asked gently.

“Yes. It was also Amrit’s death anniversary. But the reason I tell you this is not to justify what I did. There is no justification for meting out that kind of treatment to you. I tell you so that you know that what happened was because of my own issues. It wasn’t because I had even an iota of disrespect for you.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“I also didn’t tell you this to emotionally blackmail you. But I do want you to take rest and recover. Please stay at my home. Soumitra and Sugata will not be able to look after you.”

“They can’t stay alone–”

“They will stay with me too. Obviously.”

“I will ask them. If they are comfortable…”

Paritosh nodded. At least on that count, he wasn’t worried.

—

Rupali alternated between bouts of anxiety and exhilaration over next few days. There were times when she felt extremely self-conscious of imposing upon Paritosh. She would try to become invisible in those moments and would get preachy with her brothers too.

“Make sure you eat whatever is cooked,” she had told them on their first day, “Don’t be fussy, all right?”

“Actually Didi,” Sugata had told her sheepishly, “The cook has already asked us.”

“Asked you what?”

“What we like and dislike.”

“Oh!”

Paritosh was prepared for everything. He ensured that Meenal talked to her every once in a while, even if from a distance. He had instructed the maid and the cook to stay at home throughout the day so that Rupali was taken care of. He had her diet plan prepared and made sure everything needed was available.

—

To be continued

“Dr. Khanna. My brothers are there and they need to be fed–”

“Yes. And they can stay here as well as you can. For God’s sake, Rupali. Stop making everything an issue of self-respect. It isn’t. The world will not look down upon you just because you let someone take care of you when you were ill.”

He regretted his outburst when she started sobbing. “Please don’t cry,” he asked miserably, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I can never mean to hurt you. You will only worsen your condition if you cry. I’m sorry. Please now.”

She wiped her tears and said weakly, “I want to lie down.”

“I will take you to a spare room. And don’t you need to inform someone at the pharmacy?”

“Yes,” she rubbed her temples, “Thanks for reminding. I should call–” She picked up her phone, but her hand shook.

“Tell me the name,” he took the phone from her, “I will ask Soumitra to call. And come with me to your room.”

“I must talk to Soumitra. He needs to bring some stuff from home and inform Sugata–”

“He will come to your room. Tell him that they are also staying. So they should bring their stuff over.”

—

Paritosh was unable to sleep. A little past midnight he got out of his bed meaning to take a stroll outside. He walked past Rupali’s room to find it open. Soumitra and Sugata were sitting by her side with cold water strips.

“What happened?” Paritosh asked.

Rupali’s fever was increasing despite the medicine they had given her. They were trying cold water strips now. But she was delirious with fever. Paritosh went ahead to check her temperature and withdrew his hand with a start on touching her forehead. It was burning. He called up at the hospital and was advised to bring her there as soon as possible.

“Someone will have to stay with Meenal,” Paritosh told them, “Soumitra, can you?”

He wanted to be with Rupali, but he also knew that Paritosh could be of more help in the hospital than he himself. So he agreed.

Together they loaded her in the car and Paritosh drove as fast as he could. Sugata accompanied in silence. Throughout they could hear her feverish ramblings. Words were broken, but her fears were clear. She was talking to her dead parents. Beseeching them to come back.

“Baba. I don’t want my scooty. Please come back.”

“How can I manage everything on my own, Ma?”

“Where do I take them, Ma? Nobody gives us shelter.”

When they finally reached hospital and the attendants there took charge of Rupali, Paritosh noticed Sugata standing in a dark corner, crying and wiping his tears at the same time.

He went to the boy. He had interacted more with Soumitra, who came across as the more mature of the two, and had not spoken much to Sugata earlier. So he was a little unsure of how to talk to the boy. But he figured that in moments like these, what anybody needed was assurance. He patted him on the back and said, “Don’t worry. It can’t be anything serious. She will be all right by the morning. Let’s go in.”

Sugata followed him in silence and mechanically did everything he was asked to do.

Couple of hours later, they got a call from Soumitra.

“How is Didi, Dr. Khanna?”

“Her fever is in control now. She is sleeping. They are running a few tests to see if there is something other than a viral fever.”

“Is there?”

“We don’t know right now. But I’m sure she will be all right. Don’t worry.”

“And Dr. Khanna – Meenal is awake. She is asking for you… And Didi. She wouldn’t go back to sleep.”

“Okay. I will come home and bring both of you here.”

—

“Mamma is ill. Mamma is ill,” Meenal announced to no one in particular when she saw Rupali sleeping on the hospital bed.

“She’ll be fine, Meenu,” Paritosh assured her once again, then motioned Soumitra to go to Sugata who was sitting next to Rupali, morose and silent.

He took Meenal outside the room to leave the siblings by themselves for a while.

But when he came back it was with the reports and some bad news.

“Jaundice!”

“She will need bedrest,” Paritosh said and the twins looked at each other. They all knew the near-impossibility of the situation.

“She will never agree,” Soumitra said dejectedly, “She will have to leave her job. She will not let us work–”

“She will have to. It is contagious,” Paritosh said.

“Oh!” If that meant she lost her job, especially with Paritosh, she will take it even harder than if she had to leave it on her own.

“Is there a relative or friend you can inform?” Paritosh asked.

Soumitra shook his head.

“What about,” Paritosh hesitated for a moment before completing, “Her boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?” Soumitra was startled, then recollected, “Oh! Mihir. No, I don’t think…”

He didn’t think they should inform him? Or he didn’t think Mihir was her boyfriend?

“Listen to me, then, Soumitra, Sugata,” he said, “You have let me help. And you have to support me when I talk to her.”

“Help how?”

“Whichever way required.”

“No. Why should you–”

“Because your sister is the best thing that has happened to my daughter. This is purely selfish.”

“If it is contagious, she can’t continue working with Meenal.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that Meenal needs her. Please guys? This is for everybody’s good. And it is a matter of few weeks. Then she would have recovered.”

“If you can convince her…” Soumitra replied weakly.

“I will try to. You must help me by agreeing.”

Soumitra nodded and then said sincerely, “Thank you, Dr. Khanna. I will never forget this day in my life.”

—