Mish' Fiction

Soumen stayed for dinner but left immediately afterwards. While Soumen was there Kirti was too excited, continuously arguing with him that she should be allowed to sit in the passenger seat of his car when there was no other adult around. But after he left, she fell asleep quickly.

“I envy you so much,” Karishma told Siddhartha when she came out after putting Kirti to sleep in the bedroom.

“What for?”

“Your family. How you look out for each other. It couldn’t be easy for him, but for your sake, even Soumen is so sweet to me.”

“You don’t need to be envious. My family is yours for taking. They all love you.”

“And that is you being generous and sweet.”

“No, Karishma. And while we are on the topic, I would like you to meet Baba.”

“I have met him.”

“I know. But not like that.”

She sighed, “I suppose, I have to. But that does make me nervous.”

“I have already told him about you.”

“And? What did he say?”

“Two things. One: So, you aren’t marrying Kalindi? And two: I thought Sonu was going to marry Karishma.”

“Oh God!” she hid her face behind her hands.

Laughing, Siddhartha pulled her hands away, “He is really excited. You must know. He was impressed with you the very first time he met you at the hospital.”

“And he doesn’t mind my… baggage?”

“There is no baggage, Karishma. There is a very sweet child, who has managed to bewitch my useless brother and almost make him responsible.”

“She is so lucky to have you. And so am I.”

Siddhartha laughed again, “And in case you haven’t noticed, so am I. To have both of you.”

He pulled her in a hug and then said, “I should leave now.”

She felt disappointed. She had hoped that he would stay. But she couldn’t tell him that. Outwardly she nodded and tried hard to hide her disappointment behind her smile. As Siddhartha made his way towards the door, however, she could not restrain herself.

“Siddhartha, wait!” she called after him and then ran to him. Throwing her arms around him, she tiptoed up and pressed her lips to his. She withdrew quickly because she realized that she had caught him by surprise. But he returned the favor immediately and she was more than ready to receive it.

“Karishma,” he said, his voice hoarse, “I want to stay. But we need to take some time. And there are some legal issues–”

“Legal issues?” Was he losing it? What legal issues could come in the way of two lovers spending a night together?

“That sounded weird,” he spoke, slightly amused and sounding more normal this time, “But this isn’t the time. We will talk tomorrow.”

—

“Actually, we can’t talk today at all,” he told her in the five minutes he could squeeze in between his meetings the next day, “The meetings had been cancelled at the last minute for my trip; so now I must catch up on all of them. But tomorrow we will sit down with the lawyers. Meanwhile, you should relax and not try to take on Vikram or the divorce issue by yourself.”

“Okay, boss. And when you are buried neck deep in work, you shouldn’t worry about me.”

“No, Karishma. That isn’t an advice I am going to take. I have to manage time. But I am not going to deprioritize you.”

Goosebumps rose all over her body. If they had been someplace more private than the office, she wouldn’t have waited for him to take the initiative, but dragged him to the bed herself.

Presently all she could do was nod, while her eyes conveyed to him just how much she appreciated his priorities!

After he finished his last call for the day and made to leave, he noticed that Karishma was still in her office. He went in. She was feeding Kirti her dinner. Soumen was not there in the office.

“Why are you still here?” he asked.

“Oh! When did you come?” she was startled.

“I was about to leave, when I realized you were still here. Has Soumen left you behind with some work?  Where is he?”

She smiled, “No. He hasn’t left me with any work that can’t wait until tomorrow. I was just waiting to wish you good night before leaving.”

He came closer and said, “And I think you just stole whatever piece of my heart was still remaining.”

“That was straight out of a corny Bollywood movie, Mr. Sen. I didn’t think you were into them.”

“Well – why not? Shall we go to a movie this weekend?”

“Umm – actually I will have to check my schedule–” But before he could, she herself started laughing.

“You need to get your priorities right, Miss. Come on, let’s go. I will drop you.”

“No. You must be so tired. I will take a taxi.”

“You weren’t the only one hoping to squeeze in some time together, Karishma. Besides, have you eaten?”

She shook her head.

“Nor have I.”

—

The meeting with the lawyers had left Karishma baffled and slightly jittery. She gulped down a glass of water after they left. Siddhartha waited patiently, sitting behind his table, resisting the urge to go close to her. He waited for her to digest all the information and voice her concerns.

“What you have gone through,” one of the lawyers had said, “Is a clear case of abuse. If you want to go for it, we could push for 498a against your husband.”

But she only wanted a divorce. As quick and as hassle-free as possible. “Looks like he doesn’t realize what danger he is in if we were to use 498a. We should try to persuade him for mutual consent divorce after making him aware of this.”

Then they had given her a piece of info that she hadn’t seen coming at all. That they needed to be careful of their own relationship, because while she was married, any sexual relationship between them could lead to the charges of a criminal offense.

“Having sex is illegal?” she had blurted.

“Having sex with a married woman is a criminal offense on part of the man.”

“But not on part of the woman?”

The lawyer had chuckled, “Many people say that the law discriminates against men. But the law is more patriarchal than that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Basically, all this law concerns itself with is that a married man has the exclusive right to the sexual favors of his wife. So, even if the wife has consented to the sex with another man, it is a violation of the husband’s right. Hence the man committing adultery is guilty.”

“But wife has no such right over the husband. Hence the woman committing adultery with a married woman’s husband is not guilty.”

“Right. A married woman is her husband’s property. Not the other way around.”

“Wow!”

Presently, she asked Siddhartha, “So you knew about this criminal offense thing? Is that why you were talking about legal issues?”

He gave a sheepish smile and nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was weird. So, it was best that a lawyer explained it. And it would have been a perfect romance killer in pretty much any conversation.”

“How did you know, though?”

“I wish you wouldn’t ask that.”

“Why?”

His smile was sheepish again. “The answer isn’t exactly romantic.”

Her brows furrowed for a moment, and then she asked, “You researched well in advance, didn’t you? When?”

“Before ever proposing to you.”

She shook her head and then started laughing. “I should have known. You won’t jump into anything unprepared.”

“Well–” he shrugged, looking embarrassed, but not wanting to admit it.

“And you may think it is not romantic. But it is incredibly so. May be that means that my definition of romance is screwed up. But I guess I am more convinced than ever that I can depend on you.”

He leaned forward on the table and said, “And looks like I don’t have to be apologetic about not being an impulsively romantic lover.”

“Not at all.”

Grinning at that, he took out a few papers from his drawer, “Then, as the lawyers suggested, we should also sign this rental agreement for the apartment.”

“You already had it made? When?”

“I wanted to make sure it was stamped on the day you came to live there. So, I arranged for it to be printed and stamped.”

“When you were driving your father over–”

“It was just a phone call to a lawyer, Karishma.”

“Let me sign it before I find out something else you have already thought through and swoon.”

He chuckled and pushed the papers he had already signed towards her.

“And tell the lawyers,” she said after signing all the pages, “That I don’t care if they go after him with a murder charge, I just want my divorce quickly.”

“Yes, Ma’am!”

“And tell me if you have already taken care of this too, but we need to hire a babysitter or a nanny for Kirti.”

He chuckled, “No. I haven’t taken care of that. And I don’t even know how to. Will you speak to Mrinal? He should have the right contacts.”

“Will do.”

—

Karishma was having dinner with Siddhartha and his father. Soumen was out of town for the wedding of one of his friends. Siddhartha broke the news to his father, “Baba. The divorce has come through.”

“That’s great! Congratulations, Karishma. I know it hasn’t been easy for you. But you pulled through.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sen.”

“Ah, that! I hope you two are getting married soon now.”

“Soon, Baba.” Siddhartha spoke unhesitatingly.

“So, sweetheart,” the old man turned towards Karishma, “It would help if you started practicing calling me Baba.”

Karishma blushed hard, but replied, “Gladly.” She added after a pause, “Baba.”

Siddhartha came with her to the apartment after dinner.

“Baba was saying that we should talk to your parents too. And he should also meet them,” he told Karishma.

She sighed, “Give me some time. I want to savor my freedom before they try to disparage it.”

“I don’t care, Karishma, if you never tell them. The only reason I suggest it is because if they can be reconciled with the idea, you would be at peace. So, it’s totally your decision. Remember that whatever you decide to do, I will be by your side.”

“I know. That is one thing I have come to depend on.”

“What?”

“You being on my side.”

Siddhartha shot a quick glance at Kirti, who was fast asleep in the baby cot Siddhartha had gotten installed for her. Then he cupped Karishma’s face and kissed her passionately.

“Some of my clothes are still in that cupboard, aren’t they? At least a night dress?” he said, holding her close.

“Yes!” she hissed.

“Good. Because there is no criminal case staring at my any longer.”

“Isn’t there supposed to be a waiting period?”

“For a wedding. Not for making love.”

“I see.”

“You will,” he said as he led her to the bed.

– The End –

“Sonu!”

“Dada, you are back? How was your trip?”

“It was fine. Why is Kirti with you? Where is Karishma?” She hadn’t been picking up her phone.

“Umm… At the apartment I think. She said she had to meet some people there. And she couldn’t take Kirti with her. So, she asked me to mind her for a few hours.”

“Where is Mommy?” Kirti asked Siddhartha. She had figured out by now that her mother was usually with Siddhartha and hence he was the person to ask.

He smiled at the child and replied reassuringly. “She will be back soon.” Then he turned his attention back to his brother, “She didn’t say anything else?”

“That she would call me once she was done.”

Siddhartha considered taking Kirti to the apartment himself. But the situation was weird. Since she had deliberately left the child behind, he decided to let it be.

—

Siddhartha could hear her voice from even behind the closed door.

“Just leave. Leave this place right now. Otherwise I will call the security.”

The voices that responded to her were not audible.

He used his key to open the door without making any sound and let himself in.

Karishma noticed him first as she was standing facing the door. She fell silent as she stared at him.

It was her reaction that made the man and the woman sitting on the sofa turn towards him.

“Who are you? How did you get in?” The man jumped off the sofa and came to him threateningly.

“I am the landlord and the door was open.” Siddhartha smoothly told this partial lie.

“That doesn’t mean–”

“Vikram. Leave him alone,” Karishma found her voice back. The other woman was older and she looked terrified and confused.

Vikram was her husband, Siddhartha figured that out. So, this lady was most likely her mother-in-law. He looked calmly into Vikram’s eyes, “I think she was asking you to leave. So, you should.”

“She is my wife. She can’t ask me to leave.”

“Actually, she can. This is my property. So, you have to leave. Otherwise I will call not only the security, but also the police.”

Vikram turned back towards Karishma and hissed, “You whore! What is he to you that–”

“Enough!” Siddhartha’s voice boomed and even Karishma flinched at it. “I am reminding you again that it is my property and now, I am asking you to leave. If you take even a second more, I am going to call the security first, and then the police.”

He moved towards the intercom, then saw the elderly woman pleading with Vikram and dragging him out.

“And what do you mean by staying behind with my wife?” he screamed at the door.

“I am not answerable to you.” Siddhartha took a few long strides to the door and pushed him out. Then he waited for the woman to follow him, before locking the door behind them.

Karishma stood frozen at the same place she was in when Siddhartha had entered. The look of hopelessness on her pale face triggered almost a physical pain in him. As if he had been punched in the gut. He walked up to her and pulled her in an embrace. At first stiff, she relaxed slowly. He made her sit on the sofa and fetched her a glass of water. She gulped the entire glass down.

He sat down next to her. Once some color had returned to her face, he asked, “What was he doing here?”

“He went berserk when he realized that I had moved out of my parents’ house too. He called my mother several times. So, I thought I would meet him and ask for divorce.”

“And that didn’t go well?”

“Obviously. You saw him,” she sounded bitter.

“The lady with him was–”

“My mother.”

“Your mother? With him?”

She fell silent.

“I am sorry,” he said.

“Divorce isn’t going to be easy.”

“I never thought it would be. But you don’t have to worry about it alone. Why did you let him come here though?”

She looked at him confused, then seemed to understand. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have called him here without your permission–”

“My permission? What are you—oh!” he smiled indulgently, “No, Karishma. I am not so possessive about this place that your husband coming here would bother me. I only meant that he is an abusive and dangerous man. It would have been better if  he didn’t know where you live.”

“Oh!”

“It’s okay. We will ensure that security doesn’t let him in.”

“I don’t think he is dangerous that way. He knew all this while where I was. I thought it was best if I confronted him on my grounds. His home or my parents’ – both would have been his territory.”

That made him smile again, “Yes. This is your territory.”

“It didn’t do much, unfortunately.”

“You don’t know that yet.”

She flung her head on the back of the sofa and said, “Kirti is with Soumen. I should get back to the office and bring her.”

“I will call Soumen. If he is free, he can bring her.”

Soumen was happy to drive Kirti over. Karishma looked exhausted and didn’t object to the arrangement.

After a few moments of silence, he edged closer to her and took her hand in his own. “Hey!” he called her softly.

She gave him a long look, then suddenly started talking, as if unable to keep it inside her, “Do you know who hurts me the most? Who makes my life most miserable? It’s not Vikram. It’s my parents. My mother, especially. She is disappointed in me. And she makes no bones about it. All my life I have been this ideal daughter she has been proud to show off. She seems to have brought me up not for myself, not even for herself, but for the relatives and the neighbors. So, I have been doing just what was expected of me. Dreaming just as much as she wanted me to dream and no more. Being intelligent, but not ambitious. Speaking fluent English but toeing the lines of tradition. It didn’t pay off. The woman I was raised to be was supposed to have a happy family. She was supposed to have a husband who took care of her and who, in turn, received her complete devotion. But the husband she found me was not that. Now, as a woman who has left her husband, she can’t show me off. That is what the problem has boiled down to for her. How to win her medal back? And she is convinced that she is doing the right thing in not accepting my problem, in trying to force me to go back. She self-righteously scorns me. And I?” She seemed to choke on her words here and stopped talking. Siddhartha continued holding her hand and looked at her in anticipation. He was ready to hear whatever she had to say. He wasn’t judging or interrupting. She overcame the tears that had threatened her and spoke again, “It’s her that I can’t confront. The little girl who was overcome with guilt every time she disappointed her mother refuses to leave me. The teenager who never dared speak anything inappropriate before her mother stays on stubbornly too. When I am in front of her, somehow, it is me who becomes the villain and she the victim. I know that it shouldn’t happen this way. I tried breaking free of it while I was there. But it didn’t work. I tried explaining, I tried retorting, but in the end I just– I just ended up staying silent. She continues to define the rules of the game. And since I am no longer obeying them, I am the villain. But not strong enough to challenge her rules.”

Siddhartha reached out and she willingly came into his embrace. She rested her head on his chest.

“People don’t change much, Karishma. When people in your life become toxic, there isn’t any point trying to fix them. It only makes you more miserable. All you can do is to make them irrelevant to your life. You have already taken a step towards that for Vikram. By leaving him. Divorce will see you through the process. There is, of course, no divorcing parents,” he chuckled, then added somberly, “But I am so proud of the woman you are today. Could that, perhaps, help you ignore that your mother is, unjustifiably, disappointed?”

She raised her head and looked up at him. Then she smiled. “Only you could have done something like that.”

“Like what?”

“You didn’t make a sentimental, meaningless declaration that everything will be all right. You pointed out exactly what can be set right.”

“If that good or bad?”

“Obviously, it is good. So good that–”

“That?”

“Nothing,” she stood up, “I should start cooking. Do you think Soumen would like to stay for dinner?”

“We could order something. You don’t need to cook–”

“I want to. I actually like cooking. We had ordered yesterday too. It’s not particularly healthy, is it? So, I bought some grocery this morning. And I am not a bad cook, trust me. But can you and Soumen make do with vegetarian food?”

“Yes. Yes. We are not such staunch non-vegetarians. Do you need help?”

“No. I don’t suppose you got time to even look at your work before you came here. Don’t you want to catch up on your e-mails and with Mrinal?”

“I do, indeed. And only you could have guessed that.”

She grinned and went to the kitchen, while Siddhartha called Mrinal up.

—

To be continued

“You came very late last night? What kind of work goes on till after midnight? And who was the guy who dropped you? It wasn’t that boss of yours.”

Karishma wondered. Should she tell her that it was the CEO of the company? Would that make things better or worse? She decided to go back to her silence strategy and started dressing Kirti up.

“If I notice, do you think neighbors don’t?” her mother said and stomped out.

Karishma looked at her watch and at the open cupboard that held all her and Kirti’s personal belongings. If she skipped Kirti’s pre-school, she would be able to pack it all and still reach office in time. She had the luxury of booking a taxi these days. One thing her mother had not noticed. Neighbors must have though!

“No school today, Kirti.”

“Why Mommy?”

“Because we are going to pack and go to our new house today.”

That drew no particular reaction from the child. She showed no signs of either elation or anxiety. That was good enough, Karishma thought. Cramped spaces and dilapidated houses didn’t seem to bother children. Spacious houses with latest fixtures and open terraces didn’t seem to impress them. But she would grow up. And hopefully she would appreciate her better fortunes then. For now, if an abrupt change didn’t bother her, it should be fine. She hadn’t received much attention from her grandmother in the time she had spent here, except when Karishma absolutely needed to leave her behind. During her job search, for example. That one night when she had gone to see Siddhartha at the hospital. A few times when she was ill. Then also Soumen had taken her away almost every day. When else? No. Kirti would not miss her grandparents.

The only reason Karishma’s confrontation with her mother was not prolonged was because the old lady was thoroughly confused.

“You can pretend before the neighbors that I am back with Vikram. Meanwhile, I have got myself a place. So, we won’t be a burden on you anymore. I may have to come back to collect some more stuff.”

With that she dragged her suitcase towards the lift and left her parents’ home. For the second time.

—

She called Siddhartha from the taxi. She didn’t want to do it beforehand lest she lose courage. He had only mentioned it last night. She risked appearing greedy in asking to be given the apartment this morning. But here was her chance at some mental peace. And she wanted to seize it.

“Hey!” his voice at the other end seemed to caress her.

“Good morning,” she blushed despite herself.

“Listen. Good you called. I was about to call you myself. Something has come up and I need to go out of the city. I will be back tomorrow afternoon.”

“Oh! What happened?”

“An aunt of mine passed away. She was Baba’s cousin.”

“I am so sorry–”

“She was old and had been ill for a while. But Baba must go and I wanted to drop him myself.”

“Of course. When are you leaving?”

“Right away.”

“Oh!” What was she to do with the luggage in the boot of the car? And where was she to spend the night?

“What happened?”

“Uh, nothing. I just—Never mind. This isn’t the time to bother you.” Could she find a hotel quickly?

“Just tell me.”

“Could you perhaps meet me just for a minute before leaving?”

“If I have to, I will find a way to. But why don’t you tell me what’s going on, Karishma?”

“I need– I need the key to the apartment. I– I have packed my stuff and brought it with me. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done without asking you–”

“Are you all right?”

“Yes.”

“Soumen has a key. I will ask him to give one to you. But will that be enough? Or do you want me to stay back? Soumen could go with Baba–”

“No. The key will be enough.”

“I will be back by tomorrow. Will you be okay until then?”

“Yes. I will be. I am fine. Really.”

“Why don’t you go to the apartment directly? I will ask Soumen to meet you there.”

“There are some calls and meetings in the morning. I just have a suitcase with me. I can keep it in the office and go to the apartment in the evening.”

“Okay. He will give you the keys at the office then.”

—

Soumen insisted on dropping Karishma at the apartment in the evening.

“I will take a taxi Soumen. You really needn’t bother–” Karishma didn’t want to sit beside him in his car again!

“Karishma!” Soumen interrupted emphatically, “Dada asked me to. He is worried that everything you need may not be there. He wants me to check.”

Karishma fell silent.

“And look,” he added, “I know I have made a fool of myself in past. Repeatedly. But I am really happy for Dada. And you.”

“You haven’t made a fool of yourself, Soumen. It’s just that I–”

“Karishma. If you won Dada’s heart, you were way out of my league.”

“Please don’t embarrass me, Soumen.”

“I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. Just that we never cleared the air. Are we okay, Karishma? Can we leave the uncomfortable things behind us and be okay?”

“We are okay, Soumen. In fact, I hope we are more than okay. I hope we are friends.”

Soumen smiled and nodded.

“I hope so too. So then, can I come with you now and bring some peace to my elder brother’s bleeding heart?”

She chuckled, “Let’s go.”

The house may not make a difference. But Kirti was absolutely thrilled to be in Momen Uncle’s red car again.

“Dada was worried sick,” Soumen said after checking that electricity and all the appliances were working well, that there were fresh sheets available in the bedroom and that water filter was also functional, “But everything seems to be in order here. Just like one expects at a place that he himself maintains.”

Karishma chuckled in response. The observation was spot on.

“The only thing missing is food. I will order you some dinner, if that’s fine.”

“Okay.”

“And I could buy you some provisions for breakfast tomorrow. What do you need?”

“It’s alright, Soumen. I can manage for one morning–”

“Milk? Bread?”

Karishma sighed and smiled, “While you are at it. Some sugar and tea leaves would be nice too.”

“Done. I will order dinner first. Then get you the stuff.”

“Soumen!”

“Yeah?”

“Would you care to join me for dinner?”

He seemed surprised by the invitation. But recovered quickly. “I would love to,” he said.

Siddhartha called later that evening. “A maid comes every morning to clean up the place. She has her own key. So, don’t be worried if she lets herself in. I have told her, however, to leave the keys with you. Now that you are staying there, she need not have the key. It will be safer for you to open the door for her.”

Karishma chuckled, “You really think everything through, don’t you? Now, do you want to know what I will cook for breakfast.”

He laughed, “No, Karishma. Once you take something over, I know I don’t have to worry about it. I am just a little flustered about the apartment, because I didn’t have a chance to–”

“Look it over yourself. But it is in perfect condition. You needn’t worry. I have everything I need.”

“I am glad to hear that.”

—

To be continued

“How are things at home?” Siddhartha asked.

“Huh?” she seemed surprised by his question.

“How are thing with your parents, at home?”

“Right. Eh. It’s fine. Everything is fine, I guess.”

“You had told me that didn’t like you walking out on your marriage,” he said, then asked, “I don’t suppose everything is fine. But do they bother you when you come away late at nights to meet me or today when you would be late in going back?”

She played with the food on her plate and seemed to think for a while before replying, “It isn’t exactly a happy family, Siddhartha. They tolerate me, they don’t really like me being there. Especially my mother. All she can think of is her disappointment in her daughter. She feels let down in front of our relatives, neighbors.”

“But you support them financially, don’t you?”

“I do. Just like they let me stay. It’s ingrained in us, isn’t it? You can’t just turn away from the family. But that doesn’t mean you like each other.”

Siddhartha ate silently for a while, then spoke, “An idea has been there on my mind. I had thought I would bring it up a little later. But perhaps now is a good time.”

“What?”

“I want you to shift here. To this apartment. Earlier I had thought that you may want to bring your parents along. But if they are happier there…”

“But this is your–”

“Place of solitude. It will remain that, and become more of it, with you here.”

“I am not surprised that you offered this. Perhaps I should be.”

“I’m glad you are not surprised.”

“It isn’t easy for me, Siddhartha. But I have decided to depend on you. For decision-making most of all. So, you tell me. Is it a good idea for me to accept this? Comforts are easy to get used to, and very difficult to let go of. And it isn’t just about me. But about my little girl. She is used to my limited means. But if she were to get more and then–”

“It is the right thing, Karishma. The worst thing that can happen is that we don’t work out, right? But here is the thing. Even without consciously thinking about it, I made my commitment to Kirti before ‘we’ were even a distant possibility. And that, you have to believe me, isn’t going to go away. I will make sure of that legally too. That’s why I wanted to bring this up a little later. But there is no reason you should continue to live in an unnecessarily miserable situation while waiting for legalese. You should shift here as soon as you can.”

“I don’t need legalese.”

“It will be there anyway. Our food is getting cold. I think we should eat it before discussing anything else life-changing.”

That successfully brought a smile to her face and they returned to eating.

“Can I drop you home? Or do you prefer to take a taxi?”

“I have given you all the rights now, haven’t I?”

“It will take some time to get used to it. Let’s go. I hope Kirti doesn’t wake up.”

—

Karishma could barely sleep that night. Siddhartha’s patience has disarmed her of any resistance. That man hadn’t as much as tried to kiss her. She was at his house, alone with him, late at night. And God knows she was willing. She had been willing for a while now. Was it possible to have two such diametrically opposite men in one woman’s life? One the one hand was Vikram, her husband, who had tried to own her. From the very night of their wedding. How he had pounced on her tired, unprepared body. All the desire she had ever felt had left her over the years she had put up with him. Constantly frightened of doing something to displease him, she had stopped thinking about herself, her needs. And now, when she had finally resigned to a life of drudgery, focused solely on bringing up her daughter, Siddhartha had come to sweep her off her feet. Not in the flamboyant style of the novels she had read as a teenager. Not an alpha male making her quiver in his embrace despite her protests. No! He had told her what he felt. Boldly, confidently, clearly. But there was no attempt at coercion in the guise of romance. He hadn’t pressed her into anything. Except – and here she chuckled softly – insisting on her taking taxis! No showering her with gifts. No showing up at her door unannounced. No insistence on dropping her home. No attempt to even hug or kiss her. Their first hug had been initiated by her that morning! And how cool he had been about Soumen. Vikram would have tried to lock her up for much less, for a man as much as smiling at her — she paused. No, she didn’t want to think what that horrible man would have done in Siddhartha’s place. He could never have been in Siddhartha’s place. Vikram was the man who would have been happy to see his own daughter dead. And Siddhartha had taken care of the girl who was a nobody to him without as much as letting Karishma know. She had to stop comparing. It would spoil something so good she was fortunate enough to have. It’s too bad she couldn’t simply forget about Vikram. She would have to get a divorce. But no! No comparison ever. She turned again and since sleep was still evading her, she picked up her phone and opened Facebook to pass some time. She hadn’t checked it in a long time. There were a few friend requests. Mostly from random strangers. But one was from… Siddhartha! Was he even on Facebook? She clicked through his profile. Surely it was empty, at least for those who were not his friends. There was, however, a profile photo there to indicate that it was him. Smiling, she accepted the request. Immediately came a message.

“Are you awake?”

“You too?” she replied.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Why?”

“I made a mistake today.”

“What mistake?”

“I didn’t kiss you. I really wanted to.”

Her heart skipped a beat. She wrote back, “Why didn’t you?” She added a smiling emoticon to the message.

“Because I didn’t know if you were ready.”

“I thought you were really good at reading body language.”

“Are you provoking me, Miss?”

“Do I have to?”

“I think you already are. And if provoked, I will just kiss you in front on the entire office.”

“No, you won’t do that!” she replied hastily.

“Give me one reason why I wouldn’t.”

She tried for a while to reply to that. She started typing several times but abandoned each effort. Then her mobile rang.

“Hey!” his voice was soft at the other end, “I was joking.”

“I know,” she whispered, barely.

“But you know what the right answer was?”

“What?”

“That it would make you uncomfortable.”

“I don’t understand.”

“One good reason I won’t do that – or anything else for which this question can be asked – is that it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Are you a saint?”

“No Karishma,” he chuckled, “I am no saint. And trust me, next time we are alone, I am going to kiss you senseless.”

And only that? She couldn’t help that thought from entering her head. To him she said, “Have you killed someone with kindness?”

“Are you trying to provoke me again?”

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t?”

“I will give you a thousand tomorrow. So, you better get some sleep now.”

She grinned and although he couldn’t see it, he could hear it in her voice when she said, “Good night.”

“Good night, Karishma.”

No romance novel of her adolescent years had taught her that just bantering about a kiss that didn’t happen could be so arousing. How was she supposed to sleep in this state?

—

To be continued

“Mrinal! Is he inside? Alone?” Karishma looked disheveled and was panting when she barged into Mrinal’s office.

“Yes, but there is a meeting starting in five minutes–”

“Please hold it. I must see him now!”

Mrinal didn’t stop her as she made for the door connecting Mrinal’s and Siddhartha’s office.

“Mrinal, we are using the conference room, aren’t we—Karishma?” Siddhartha stood up worried and came around his table to talk to her, “What happened?”

“Did you pay for Kirti’s pre-school?”

His face became somber and he asked in agitation, “How did you– who told you?”

“Did you?”

Apprehension clouded his face, but he replied truthfully, “Yes. I did. But hear me out, Karishma.”

She waited for him to continue. He cleared his throat before speaking again, “I am aware that you do not like being taken for granted. And you have no idea how much I respect that. In all these days, forget about getting anything for you, I haven’t as much as gotten a bar of chocolate for Kirti. Because you haven’t given me that right. I am okay with that. Last few days the more I have thought about it, the more I have regretted doing this pre-school thing without consulting you. But that decision was taken–”

“Before all this.”

“Yes. And I didn’t know my mind back then. I didn’t know that a day will come when it will be possible to discuss this with you, frankly, without awkwardness.”

Tears had started flowing down her eyes and she spoke with difficulty, “Thank you, for explaining all this. But I hadn’t come here to complain.”

“You hadn’t?” he looked lost.

She ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck. He stumbled for a moment but then balanced himself against the table behind him and slowly brought his arms around her.

She drew back a little, without breaking the embrace, and said, “I can depend on you. And I want to. If you can wait for the divorce and all the other mess to be sorted out in my life, then yes. I will marry you.”

He smiled broadly in response. His eyes were moist. Then in their most intimate gesture ever, he ran his knuckles over her face, sending shivers down her spine. She closed her eyes savoring the feeling. Then she opened them and looked at him, expecting a kiss. But just then the door flung open.

“Dada! I need to–”

They separated hastily, but it was too late.

“Karishma! Dada! Oh my God– I-” Soumen’s face turned ashen and he ran out as abruptly as he had entered.

“Oh no!” Karishma buried her face in her hands, “This isn’t going to go well.”

“Why? He had to know sooner or later–”

“He had proposed to me again – just before I came here!”

“What? That is–”

“Awkward.”

“Weird. I thought he was over it.”

“I should talk to him, I suppose,” Karishma said, sounding tired.

“No,” Siddhartha objected, “Not you. You have done enough. I will sort this out.”

“Sure?”

“Yes. I promise!” He suddenly noticed the time. “Whatever happened to the meeting I had! Mrinal didn’t remind me.”

“I had asked him to hold it.”

“And he did?”

“Apparently,” Karishma replied sheepishly, “Sorry! This was the only time. I won’t do it again.”

He cupped her face with his hand and said, smiling, “Once in a while, for such pleasant surprises, it wouldn’t hurt.”

She chuckled.

“I think I will have to catch Soumen over lunch,” he said, “Wait for me in the evening?”

She nodded and left.

—

After the meeting, Siddhartha asked Mrinal, “So you let Karishma decide that the meeting should be held off, eh?”

Mrinal replied cautiously, “Did I decide wrong?”

“No. But do you know why?”

“I don’t know. But I can guess.”

“Well, now you know. So that should remove any future awkwardness.”

“I am relieved to finally know so that I don’t have to tip-toe around it. What took so long?”

“Long story. But for now, can you locate my brother for me? It is important that I get hold of him before anybody else knows. And please keep him from barging into my office in future.”

“He barged in on you?”

“Yes!”

“I’m sorry. I would have stopped him, but I was already in the conference room.”

“I understand. Just find him. And…”

“Yeah?”

“Can you buy me a good child seat for the car? Not online. I want it today.”

“Consider it done, Boss.”

—

Siddhartha wrapped up his work by seven. Karishma was in her office, Kirti playing on a playmat by the table. Karishma looked pleased as well as nervous as Siddhartha walked in, closing the door behind him. He pulled the blinds too, although the office was almost empty.

“How was your day?” he asked as he sat down on a chair across the table from her.

“Rather empty. Soumen didn’t show up. I did some paperwork on my own but had to cancel most of the meetings. Did you meet him?”

“Yes. And he is alright. Don’t worry about him.”

“I hope he is still okay with me.”

“He is okay with you, don’t worry. He was angry with me that I didn’t tell him about us and so he ended up making a fool of himself.”

“Oh no! Is he going to avoid me?”

“I have told him that he needn’t. Nobody is judging him. But if he does, it’s not your problem. Just let me know and I will figure out what to do.”

“Looks like none of my problems are my own now,” she smiled indulgently.

“At least not the ones created by me.”

“You have never created any problems for me,” she said in a low voice.

“That shall be addressed in near future,” he replied with a mischievous glint in his eyes, which made her avert her own.

“Come on,” he said, “Let’s go for dinner.”

“Where are we going?” she asked anxiously, aware that she was dressed very plainly.

“Nowhere that you need to be so self-conscious. Trust me. Come.”

—

Karishma laughed when she saw the child-seat fitted in the car. Thankfully, Kirti was already used to it from Soumen’s car and happily let herself be strapped into it.

After a drive of about fifteen minutes, Siddhartha entered the parking of a luxurious-looking apartment block. She looked at him questioningly.

“I have an apartment here,” he explained, “I thought Kirti will be sleepy after a while. So it will be easier than a restaurant.”

“You think everything through!” she exclaimed.

“That’s one skill I believe I have,” he said, grinning, as he parked the car.

It was a three-bedroom apartment, much smaller than the house Siddhartha lived in, but spacious and luxurious as an apartment.

“I haven’t rented it out,” he told Karishma, “I keep it for the times when I want to be alone.”

“Your secret cave?” Karishma grinned.

“Unfortunately, it’s not a secret. Soumen and Baba each have a key. Soumen could barge in any time. So, you are safe here, don’t worry.”

She turned somber at the joke, “Secret or not, I’m sure there is nowhere I would be safer than with you.”

He came near her and pressed her hand, “Yes, you are. You are always safe with me. Nobody can violate you or your space. Not your husband, not your family or mine, not even me.”

“Shut up, already. I don’t want to cry now,” she said, her moist eyes threatening to do just that.

He smiled and said, “I will order food. What do you want? Indian, Chinese, Continental?”

“Anything.”

“What cuisine is that?”

She laughed, “Alright. Chinese, then. Some simple veg noodles for Kirti.”

“Coming your way. You are a vegetarian, right?”

“Yes. But you can order whatever you want for yourself.”

He gave her an indulgent smile and dialed a number.

They sat down to eat at a small four-seater dining table after Kirti was fed and put to sleep.

—

To be continued

He came back to the kitchen when Karishma didn’t reappear for half an hour. She was sitting on a chair with Kirti asleep in her lap.

“She was tired. She fell asleep,” she whispered to avoid waking her up, “I should leave now. Could you call me a taxi?”

“Why? Let’s just put her to bed in one of the rooms. Can you lift her without waking her?”

She obliged and followed him. As they came out of kitchen, they ran into Sunidhi.

“Dada. Baba has been looking for you,” she said.

“Can you take Karishma to my bedroom? She will put Kirti to bed there.”

“Wouldn’t one of the ground floor rooms be easier?”

“Too much noise on this floor. Take her there.”

“Okay.”

His bedroom!

After Sunidhi left, Karishma put Kirti gently down on bed and patted her for a while until she was comfortably asleep again. Then she arranged pillows and cushions all around her to prevent the child from falling.

Finally, she stood up and looked around the room. Large, spacious, minimally furnished with solid wood furniture, one wall occupied by a cupboard, another sporting a door of the same wood as the furniture that most likely opened to a bathroom. A floor-to-ceiling glass door opened onto a terrace. She looked at the four-poster bed, then ran her hand over a post.

Could she imagine living here? With Siddhartha?

When she turned towards the door, she found him standing there. Perhaps asking the same question in his head.

She stopped in her tracks. He came in and stood in front of her.

“How do you like it?” he asked, his voice sibilant.

“It’s nice,” she replied, her voice trembling.

“Does it look real, dependable? Can you–”

“Who is Kalindi?” she blurted, and then bit her lips. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean–”

But he interrupted, “My brother is a duffer. But are you jealous?”

She didn’t know where to look. Why had she reacted so foolishly? “I– I didn’t–”

“If you are indeed jealous, that gives me a lot of hope. But I am not going to play games with you, Karishma. You haven’t had a chance to know about everyone in my life yet. Especially outside of family and work. But we can start right away. For some reason everyone in my family has taken it into their heads that I am in love with Kalindi and have been shying from getting married all these years because of her.” She was now looking at him intently. He continued, “That is not the case at all. She is a good friend. We studied together since childhood. But there has never been anything romantic between us. Trust me, there can’t be.”

She smiled and asked, “Why can there not be? She is so beautiful.”

“For one thing, she can’t read five pages of even a romance novel in one go, let alone fifty pages of contracts,” he grinned.

“Come on,” Karishma chuckled.

“But if you really need an airtight proof–”

“I don’t need a proof.”

“You shall have it anyway. There is a reason she isn’t staying in or coming back to India. She is a lesbian. India isn’t a great place to be.”

“Oh!”

“Nobody else here knows, including my family. She is uncomfortable in telling them; so–”

“Nobody would know of it from me.”

“Come. We can take five minutes or so and then we should get back.” He led her to the terrace. They stayed there silently looking out into darkness until he whispered, “Let’s go back.”

“I will also not play games,” she said suddenly, “I confess I was jealous.”

He gave her a triumphant smile and led her out.

“Last few days have been busy,” he said before they reached the hall to join others, “And next few days are going to be too. Could you meet me early tomorrow morning? For breakfast?”

Getting Kirti ready was the only challenge. But she would do it. “Sure. Where?”

“I will text you the address. Take a taxi.”

“I always do take a taxi now.”

“Thank you,” he replied in a low voice, pressing her hand as If it she was doing him a favor by taking taxis and he was grateful for it.

—

“You should drop me at her pre-school,” Karishma said as she settled in with Kirti in her lap, “There is a parent-teacher meeting. It will take some time. I can walk to the office from there.”

“Okay Boss!” he grinned, “We will not go to the office together.”

But she grew embarrassed, “You have been very patient with me. But the situation must annoy you sometimes, doesn’t it?”

He shot her a concerned look, “What makes you think so?”

“Well you had asked for one week and–”

“It has been almost three. Let it become thirty, Karishma. I am happy. I had asked for one week in the hope that it will become more.”

“I just wanted to let you know that I am aware, fully aware that I have kept the situation in such a limbo. In fact, given my own hesitations, I don’t even have a right to feel jealous or to–”

“Karishma! I am aware that I may not have all the rights, but I have given you every right. And the more you exercise them the more hope I have for me. But I am never going to take it for granted, rest assured. I do push you about one thing. Taking a taxi. And that’s perhaps selfish. I do it because it gives me such peace of mind knowing you are comfortable and safe. But for everything else, I will happily wait. It isn’t meant for you to feel bad. My hope is that it makes you feel in control. Because you are in control. I will go as far as you allow me. And I will stop if you don’t. That’s the deal. And I intend to keep it. Well even for taxi if you want–”

“What is one thing you would want if I allowed it?”

“One thing?”

“Well, one, two, three, whatever. What is next for you? And don’t ask me what I want. I want to know what you want.”

“Well, for one, I would be really happy if you allowed me to buy a child seat for this car. It will be so much more comfortable and safer for Kirti.”

She gave him a helpless but knowing smile that conveyed that she knew he would come up something silly and sweet like that, “Fine! Go ahead and buy a child seat. And while you are at it, may be find her a babysitter too so that–” Here she abruptly stopped.

“I would, actually, like to do that. We do need to spend time alone and I understand that we can’t depend on your mother to babysit her for long. But why did you stop?”

She shook her head and didn’t say anything.

“If you wished for it, it wasn’t anything bad, Karishma. If you can build a happier life for yourself, it isn’t bad for her. That will make you a better mother too. I firmly believe so.”

Her eyes brimmed over as she said, “Thank you.”

—

Karishma came out of the pre-school dazed. After the meeting with the teacher was over, she had met the principal. The principal had seen Siddhartha drop her and Kirti.

“Wasn’t it Mr. Siddhartha Sen who was with you this morning, Karishma?” she has asked.

The question had taken her by surprise, but she had confirmed that calmly.

“So, you finally know the mystery of your daughter’s scholarship.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh!” she had blanched, “You didn’t?”

“Are you saying Siddhartha is providing scholarship for Kirti?”

“Forget that this conversation happened. I am glad Kirti is doing well here. I am sure she will ace her school admissions when the time comes.”

She was still dazed when she walked into her office and slumped on her chair. Then Soumen appeared and she tried to gather her wits together.

“Hi Soumen! Eh, today… let me check your calendar–”

“There is nothing on the calendar today.”

“Oh! You want–”

“Karishma! I want to talk to you.”

“Okay,” she sat up, “Yeah. Tell me.”

“Karishma! I, I still– When you had said ‘no’ the last time, did it mean forever? Couldn’t you at least give me one chance?”

“What! Soumen – I thought we were over it. What are you–”

“One chance is all I ask for.”

“I can’t, Soumen,” she said, in a tired, resigned tone.

“Why not?”

She stood up abruptly, “Because…” her eyes brimmed over, “Because I am in love with someone else and I must—I am sorry!” She ran away.

—

To be continued

Siddhartha ran into Karishma in the corridor when he came to the hospital late afternoon the next day. She gave an unhesitating smile of pleasure on seeing him and informed him, “He is awake. Though sleepy from all the medicines. But everything is fine.”

He nodded, “Soumen told me. You have been here the entire day, haven’t you?”

She nodded and said, “I brought some of Soumen’s work here. Keeps the work going and keeps him from worrying too much. I was leaving now. I have to pick Kirti up from pre-school.”

He looked at his watch and nodded. As she made her way past him, he suddenly grabbed her hand. Pulling her back, he held her close, “It’s incredible. It has barely been a day since I can even acknowledge this feeling. But already, I missed you.” She shivered and closed her eyes. He could read her reaction and that was enough of a reply.

“Will you call me when you get home?” he asked, letting go of her hand.

“Of course,” she croaked.

“And please take a taxi. You didn’t book one this morning.”

Still under the spell of his passionate declaration, she just nodded.

—

“Who was the girl whom Sonu was obeying like a puppy the entire day?” Siddhartha was taken aback by his father’s question, then he started laughing.

“Karishma?”

“Yes. That’s her name. Quite a karishma she is for our Sonu.”

Siddhartha hoped he wasn’t blushing when he replied, “Yes. She is incredible.”

“Do you know what Baba asked me today?” he said when she called.

“What?”

He repeated his father’s puppy comment word-by-word.

“What! Why? Oh God! That’s–” she became flustered.

“Relax. He was rather impressed.”

Karishma paused for a moment, then said, “Soumen was quite out of his wits, even though there was no emergency. So, I had to nudge him every once in a while.”

“Like?”

“Like calling the doctor when Mr. Sen was in pain. Or replying to the nurse’s questions about his situation.”

It was his turn to pause. Then he whispered, “Thank you, Karishma.”

—

2 weeks later

“You can wait,” Siddhartha told his brother after their meeting was over, “Bonnie is coming. She wanted to meet us both.”

Karishma made to leave, but Siddhartha stopped her too, “Stay, Karishma. You can say ‘hi’ to your friend too.”

She looked at him questioningly and he realized, “That’s Sunidhi’s pet name.”

“Oh! Okay. Great.”

After a brief call to Sunidhi to say ‘thanks’ after she had gotten this job, Karishma hadn’t been in touch with her. She accessed Facebook occasionally and would see the photos put up by her. But there was no more friendship between them now than there was in college. Siddhartha knew that perfectly well. After all whenever they had talked in last two weeks, it had mostly been about her – and a large part of it about her life before her marriage, the comfortable, almost happy phase. Why had he asked her to stay? To include her?

Sunidhi arrived soon.

“Hello brothers,” she cooed as she walked in and went to hug Siddhartha, “How are you doing, Dada?”

“I am fine. How are you and that useless husband of yours?” he replied, laughing.

Sunidhi made a face at Siddhartha.

Karishma smiled. It was obviously a standing joke between the siblings.

“My useless brother seems to be doing fine,” she jokingly punched Soumen and he pretended to be hurt before guffawing.

Then she noticed Karishma and looked genuinely pleased.

“Karishma, Wow! How are you doing?” She went ahead and gave her a hug too. Her good-natured cheerfulness was infectious and Karishma was not unaffected by it. She felt good about being there. She was unaware of Siddhartha’s fond gaze as the two of them hugged. That would have made her knees buckle.

“Listen. The reason I came was that I want to organize a small get-together – perhaps a dinner – now that Baba is back at home. He is not able to step out yet, and meeting people will cheer him up,” Sunidhi announced.

“That’s a good idea,” Soumen said.

“This Saturday, then?” she looked at Siddhartha.

“Saturday, it is,” he consented.

“Good. I will take care of the invites. You should let me know who all you are inviting. And I might as well begin now. Karishma you must come.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“Don’t worry about, Kirti,” Soumen surprised her even more than Sunidhi by intervening, “Bring her along.”

“That’s settled then,” Siddhartha said, “Bonnie. Why don’t you invite Mrinal also on your way out? And Kalindi is going to be in town then. I will invite her. That’s all on my list.”

“Cool. You let me know your list too, Sonu.”

—

There were about twenty people at the get-together. Kirti was happily engaged with ‘Momen’ Uncle and was faithfully following him around.

Siddhartha had formally introduced Karishma to his father and then had gone off to see some other guests. She was sitting with his father and Sunidhi when Siddhartha came back with a gorgeous woman by his side. Unaware of Karishma’s startled looks, Siddhartha took the woman to his father, “Baba. Kalindi. You remember her?”

“Of course, of course. How are you, sweetheart? It has become increasingly difficult to set eyes on you. After how many years have you come to India?”

“Two years, Uncle. It’s not a huge time.”

“Two years? People like us are getting older and you may not see me again if you take another two years for your next visit.”

“Come on, Baba!” Siddhartha interrupted his father, “A few fractures are not going to do anything to you.”

At the same time, Sunidhi whispered in Karishma’s ears, “If only she would stay in India, Dada might just get married.”

Karishma forced a smile. Siddhartha and Kalindi turned towards them.

“You know my sister, of course,” he said.

“Bonnie, is it? Oh my God! I don’t think I met you the last time I was here. You are all grown up.”

“For years, Kalindi,” Sunidhi rolled her eyes and both of them laughed as they hugged.

“She is married. Her husband should be around here somewhere and so should be my brother, whom you did meet last time. Meanwhile, this is Karishma. My useless brother’s very capable assistant.”

Sunidhi, Kalindi as well as Mr. Sen looked surprised and stared at him.

“What?” he asked, wondering if he had made some gaffe. Karishma also noticed the stares and grew uncomfortable.

Kalindi broke the silence with laughter, “She must be very capable for you to say that out loud, Sid! I have never heard you praise someone so unconditionally.”

“She said it!” Sunidhi concurred.

Mr. Sen also nodded and smiled.

Kalindi shook hands with Karishma, “Nice to meet you.”

“Same here.”

“And I would really like to know how you managed to impress this demanding prick.”

Karishma winced, smiling uncomfortably, while Sunidhi added, “I would like to know that too. But more importantly, Dada, I would like to earn some commission for referring such a great employee.”

“I think,” Siddhartha finally came to Karishma’s rescue, “You girls are making her really uncomfortable. Why don’t you sit down with Baba, Kalindi, while I and Karishma go and find her daughter?”

“With pleasure!”

“Come, Karishma,” Embarrassed even more to be singled out for his attention, but relieved to leave the company posing uncomfortable questions, Karishma followed him.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said once they were out of earshot.

“It’s not like anyone was insulting me or anything,” she replied.

“I hadn’t realized that I–”

“What?”

“Well, precisely what they pointed out. I am a judgmental person. Not in a bitter sort of way, I hope. But I am quick to notice people’s flaws. But with you–”

“There is your Mommy–” they were interrupted by Soumen who had Kirti in his tow, “Karishma, she is hungry.”

Karishma gulped and cleared her throat before speaking, “Thanks, Soumen. It’s her meal time. I will feed her. I have her dinner packed.”

“Packed? Why? Doesn’t she eat regular food?” Siddhartha asked.

“She does. But nobody is eating right now–”

“So what? I will take you to the kitchen. I am sure there is enough ready to feed a little girl.”

“Dada!”

“Yes?”

“Kalindi is here, right? Looking more gorgeous than ever before.”

“She is way out of your league, Sonu. And much older too, remember.”

“Come on, Dada. You know what I mean. Make her stay in India this time and get married already, will you?”

“Have you had too much to drink? Come on, Karishma. Kirti, come with us, sweetheart.”

“It is unbelievable how well Soumen gets along with Kirti,” Karishma said to fill the awkward silence on their way to the kitchen.

“The way you have to take care of him, you could very well adopt him and have two kids to play with each other.”

She chuckled but realized that Siddhartha was annoyed. But there were too many people around and it was difficult to have a private conversation.

Once they had set a plate for Kirti, Karishma told him, “I will feed her. You should go back and attend to the guests.”

“Will you be okay?”

“Yes, Siddhartha,” she chuckled, “I know how to feed my daughter. Go now.”

—

To be continued

She nodded, “They relented only after I showed them Kirti’s wounds. They are still not happy about it.”

He looked thoughtful.

Suddenly she stood up.

“Karishma?” he also stood up.

“God! What was I thinking? This isn’t going to work out. I am mentally and physically a wreck. I am not even divorced yet. There is a child in question. And would you know what to do with people like my parents as your in-laws? This is an impossible dream. You and I both need to wake up!”

“Karishma!”

“I will leave now,” she started walking out, her pace brisk.

He ran after her and yanked at her hands.

“You promised!” he said desperately, “You promised to give it time. You can’t decide in five minutes.”

She looked at him helplessly, “It’s a mess.”

“You don’t run away from things. Nor do I.”

“It’s not your mess to deal with. And even if I start dealing with it right away, it will take a lot of time. You can’t keep waiting for me until then.”

“I made you confront this mess. It is now mine to deal with”

“No. You don’t want to–”

“Karishma. I admire your strength. It doesn’t mean you have to keep proving it to me again and again. It also doesn’t mean that you can’t take help. It definitely doesn’t mean that I won’t want to be by your side when you are going through an ordeal.”

“I just want my daughter to be safe. If I try to fix more, I may end up making things worse.”

“Fine. But just give me one week. Meet me. Talk to me. We will not talk about this. We will do whatever else we feel like. And then you can decide whether it is worth fighting for. I ask for just one week.”

She had calmed down by then. “Yes. I am sorry I was so abrupt. I will meet you, of course. I want to. But I have a lot of thinking to do.”

“Okay. That’s perfectly fine. I can live with that. For now.”

“I should still leave now.”

“Yeah. Okay. Take a taxi. No, wait. I will book you one. From my personal account, nobody in the office will know, don’t worry.”

“It’s not so late. It’s earlier than usual. Don’t spoil me!”

“I will have to. Else you won’t come around.”

The phone rang at the same time as the door flung open.

“Dada!” Soumen barged in, looking disheveled. Siddhartha stared at the phone which showed Mrinal’s number. “Oh. It’s just Karishma,” Soumen said, “Mrinal has gone mad. He won’t let me come in. That must be him calling.” Siddhartha disconnected the phone and looked at his brother. Karishma was glad Soumen wasn’t looking at her. She felt her cheeks growing hot and was sure that her face had turned red in embarrassment.

“Dada. It’s an emergency. I just got a call from home. Baba slipped in the bathroom. Mohan said he has called an ambulance.”

“Oh God!” Karishma and Siddhartha spoke in chorus. “How bad is it?” Siddhartha asked.

“I don’t really know, Dada. I was too flustered to–”

“You drive straight to the hospital. I will check with Mohan and see if I should go home first. Rush now.”

“Yes, Dada,” Soumen left immediately.

“Karishma, you–”

“Don’t worry about me, please. Why don’t you make that call and find out what you should be doing?”

“Yes. Right, thanks!”

He called home.

“He was in pain… What are you saying… He is not conscious… Where is the ambulance… Okay – I am heading to the hospital too…”

“Should I come with you?” Karishma asked as soon as he disconnected the call.

Despite his worries, he smiled, “It’s tempting. But not now. I am sending you a number and a code. You call them and book a cab with that code.”

“Stop worrying about me–”

“That’s what I am doing. I won’t have to worry if you use this.”

“I will. I promise. Please call me once you know what the situation is.”

“I will.”

—

The call came late in the evening.

“I’m sorry; I missed your messages,” Siddhartha said.

“Don’t worry. I was just concerned. How is your father?”

“He had passed out from pain. There is a fracture, so that has to be handled. Cast for at least a month and bed rest. But there is no other danger. He will be in the hospital for a week.”

“Are you staying at the hospital for the night?”

“Yes.”

“Have you had your dinner?”

“Yes.”

They fell silent, listening only to each other’s breath. He spoke after a long pause, “Could you take a taxi and come here for a bit?”

“Yes,” She replied hastily, “I will.”

“Kirti…”

“She is asleep. My mother can look after her if she wakes up. Else I will bring her with me.”

“I will be waiting. Give me a call once you reach the hospital. I will have to sign you in.”

“Okay.”

“And it’s quite late. Take a taxi by calling that number. Don’t–”

“I will. I don’t want you worrying about me right now. I will take a taxi.”

Her mother, obviously, didn’t believe her when she said that there was some emergency at work and she would have to go out that late at night. But she agreed to keep an eye on Kirti. So, Karishma called the taxi and left by herself.

—

When he saw her, he walked towards her with long, urgent strides. For a moment it looked like he would hug her, but he refrained. He just held her hands and pressed them. “Thank you for coming.”

“You are so stressed out. What is it?”

He looked embarrassed; then said in a resigned fashion, “Baba is my strength. And by extension my weakness. Seeing him unconscious unnerved me.”

“How old is he?”

“Seventy.”

“Fracture in old age is not good. But the doctors said he was out of danger, didn’t they? He would be alright.”

He nodded, “Honestly. I now feel silly for making you come all the way for no reason–”

She interrupted him, “I wanted to come and see you. The reason I didn’t ask myself was because I was afraid to intrude.”

He looked at her curiously.

She gulped hard and spoke again, “About this afternoon. Taking a stock of my situation worries me. But I am not playing hard-to-get with you–”

“No, you are not. I know that, Karishma.”

“Then ask for me. Whenever you need me.”

“How about all the time?”

She chuckled, “That may just make fixing every mess worth it.”

“Don’t worry about fixing everything. Let things take its course. And when the time comes, I can put the best lawyers on it.”

She smiled.

“And now you should get back. It’s past midnight. Is your taxi waiting?”

“No. I thought I would call one when–”

“I will do it.”

After making the call, he said, “Somebody will be here in fifteen minutes. I need another favor. Can you call Mrinal early in the morning tomorrow and ask him to reschedule my meetings.”

“You already didn’t take any meeting today–”

“I know. But I need to be here tomorrow. Baba may gain consciousness anytime.”

“There is nothing important on Soumen’s calendar. He can stay here–”

“That would be too much of a responsibility for him–”

“No. It won’t be, Sir–”

“Siddhartha!”

“Siddhartha! It won’t be. He looks up to you and he is terrified of you. That’s why he doesn’t come forward to take responsibilities. I think you should let him do it. And if he is nervous, I will be there with him too, I promise.”

He smiled appreciatively, “You must have been his mother in a previous birth. So, why don’t you call him instead of Mrinal in the morning and arrange all this.”

“I will arrange all this, but you need to make that call to him. In fact, I think you should make it now. And suggest him that he should ask me to take care of his meetings.”

Grinning, he gave her a mock salute and dialed Soumen.

—

To be continued

He waited in his office while she settled Kirti in the day care and then came to meet him. The blinds to the office were down, and as soon as she arrived, he called Mrinal to tell him that he expected no interruptions for the rest of the day. Then instead of his usual chair behind the workdesk, he sat down on one of the sofas in the room and motioned for her to sit next to him.

She sat down gingerly. The thread of conversation was broken. The comfort would have to be established again, he realized. Only for a few days, he hoped. And then they would be comfortable in their relationship.

“I was quite surprised, you know,” he said, “And it still surprises me that you were Sunidhi’s friend.”

“I wasn’t,” she responded and then realizing that she had been abrupt, explained, “I mean I wasn’t among her close friends. We knew each other, of course. We were in the same class.”

“The way she had eaten my head off trying to get you a job, I would have thought you were bosom friends.”

Karishma chuckled, “I never understood her really. My life in college was weird and lonely. I was a scholarship student and didn’t really belong to the crowd there. Sunidhi was, of course, the center of the crowd, while I wasn’t even on the periphery. But she was exceptionally sweet to me. She often sought me out, even if just to say ‘hello’. I could never figure out why. When I started looking for a job and was growing desperate, I joined Facebook and started adding everybody I could recognize. She was one of the very few people who responded to my post announcing that I was looking for a job. And she wanted me to meet – well you know now – her Dada. I grabbed the opportunity.”

“How fortunate for me. The way you describe it, my sister seems to have been enamored with you before either me or my brother were. You have almost ensnared my entire family. I can’t wait to see what Baba thinks of you.” Realizing that he might be getting ahead of himself, he quickly added, “In due course, obviously. No pressure.”

“Enamored? She was perhaps just patronizing me. You seem so confident of this entire business. I am nothing like Sunidhi. I am nothing like women in your social circle. Would it not bother you?”

“That you don’t have fake eyelashes and chemically straightened hair?” he laughed, “No. It doesn’t bother me. Although if you wanted to fit in and wanted to acquire those, that would be totally your choice. But I do think Sunidhi was enamored with you. She wouldn’t burn midnight oil to acquire any skills herself. But she does appreciate them in others. I think she appreciated your academic performance.”

“That was accidental. I didn’t have money or permission to go to the parties or movies. So, I studied when I wasn’t helping my mother with household chores. Studying was my escape. It was empowering to be good at something.”

“How did you get stuck in an abusive marriage after all that? Why didn’t you think of having a career after such a spectacular academic performance?”

“The answer may disappoint you,” she replied, looking apprehensive.

“Try me.”

“It was always meant to be that way. Going to that college was a lucky accident. I managed to pass the scholarship exam. But that didn’t change the fact that I came from a background where career is not meant for the girls. Like scores of others, I did my graduation to become eligible for a good marriage. The scholarship, fancy college and good academic performances were stars to be dangled before the potential grooms and their families. After all, everyone wants an educated daughter-in-law who would bring up the grandchildren well. That’s what my parents were planning, that’s what I was working towards and that’s what I achieved. Everybody I knew did that. I had no idea I was walking into an abusive relationship. He had seemed so right, so eligible as a husband…” her voice tailed off.

It wouldn’t be easy to come to this subject again. So, Siddhartha decided to risk pushing, “It took you six years to–”

“If you googled abusive relationship and read up the most typical symptoms, that was my marriage.”

He had already done all the googling.

“Don’t you want to talk about it?”

She buried her head in her hands and recalled. How it had felt romantic in the beginning. The jealousy, the possessiveness.

You are mine. Don’t smile at him and encourage him, he ogles at you.

Don’t talk too much to her, I need your time for myself.

You are mine, and only mine.

I’m sorry I hit you. But you know how angry it makes me if I find you are not there when I need you. I need you so much. I love you so much.

Stop talking to your parents so much. They are not your family any longer. I am. They just fill garbage in your ears against me.

No, they don’t, Vikram. They want me to stay with you.

Who else will you stay with? You want a job? What do you want a job for? Don’t I earn enough for both of us? Don’t you trust me?

I’m sorry that I hit you. I don’t like doing it you know that, don’t you? But you make me do it. Why can’t you just cook a meal properly? Huh? Tell me. Can’t you do that much for me? How I work day in, day out for you.

Have a baby, Karishma. That fixes marriages. You can’t keep gazing into each other’s faces all your life. A baby keeps the relationship together.

Oh! I am so happy. You must rest and not stress yourself about anything. No need to go to your parents’ house. You are much better cared for here. I am there for you. Our house is bigger.

I am going to decorate this room for our boy. Girl? No way. I know we will have a boy. What will I do with a girl? You are the only girl I need.

Stop her from crying, that miserable creature. I can’t stand her. You have one job. To keep her quiet. Can’t you do even that. And when am I going to have my wife back? Are you still my wife? Or is it only that cunt who matters now? I am going to get rid of her right away.

Noooo. Vikram. Stop. She is so little. She will stay quiet. I will make sure. Else I will leave her with my parents. Just tonight, Vikram. Just one night.

Kick! You are so useless. So useless! Why did I ever marry you? If I weren’t so much in love with you, my life would have been so much better.

When Karishma came to, she realized that she hadn’t only been thinking about those days. She had actually been narrating them to Siddhartha. He was holding her hands tight and grating his teeth in anger.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

His expressions softened, “What are you sorry for?”

“I am so messed up. How would I ever move on from that? And to think that it was staring at me all the time. That I could have stopped it all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how he had managed to do it, but I was convinced that it was all my fault. If I tried a bit more, if I were a bit better at something – cooking, cleaning, pleasing him. If I were—I looked up relationship advice, but if there was a warning about what was really happening to me in those columns, I ignored them. It was the risk to my daughter’s life that I couldn’t finally ignore. Then I started acknowledging the problem. But it was hard. What was I to do? Where was I to go? My parents had no money and after my father’s illness were barely managing to survive themselves. I had never held a job. There wasn’t a single paisa in my name. No bank account, no cash, nothing. Even the little jewelry I owned were not with me. It was in a locker to which I had no access. Vikram would bring them when there was a function to attend, he would choose what I should wear and the next morning, it would all go back. I wouldn’t have known how to survive even for a day if I left. But that night, he really would have killed her. I gave her medicines meant for cold to keep her sleeping through the night. I was so scared. What if I had overdosed her. I stole some cash and ran away in the morning. I had no place to go except my parents’ and when I reached there…”

“They wanted you to go back?”

—

To be continued

He told her about his mother. She was diagnosed with cancer soon after Soumen and Sunidhi were born. That was a difficult blow to her and to the entire family. But what he remembered from the ordeal the most was how quickly and easily she had given up.

“She had no will to fight. Cancer wasn’t in the terminal stage. But all she could think of was dying. All of Baba’s attempts to make things easy for or to cheer her up were in vain. She had the best care that was available. I always felt that her depression killed her before the physical disease could. Baba looked so overwhelmed all the time. The business was still small and fledgling then. He needed to take care of that too. Then two babies at home. I was also just a lousy teenager. But I think I had to grow up then.”

“The way Soumen speaks of you, he sees you more of his guardian than your father.”

“Really?”

“Are you surprised?”

“If I was a guardian, I wasn’t a very good one. Your daughter is so well brought up. My siblings are nothing like that.”

“Come on. You are being harsh on yourself. And too generous on me.”

“No. But anyway. Why was I telling you this sob story? To explain how we reached here. How I reached here with you and perhaps also to explain why I didn’t reach here with anybody else before. I will be honest, Karishma. When we met the first time, you were nothing but Sunidhi’s stubborn demand on my time. I had no idea what job I could give you. And I didn’t give you a meaningful one. I hadn’t meant to give you a job at all. I have no idea why I blurted out in the last moment that Soumen needed an assistant. Perhaps, subconsciously, the matter of fact way in which you had explained why you were looking for a job, had already affected me. And from there on, I saw a woman who had been dealt with a very unfair hand. But instead of running away or sulking, she was facing it, head on.”

“You are making me so nervous. I am a very ordinary woman who was just reacting to the circumstances–”

“No war hero is born with a sword and a shield in his hands, Karishma. He becomes a hero only when he is faced with death in the battlefield and raises his shield to protect a fellow soldier rather than himself. What you do when you face a crisis is what makes you a hero. Before that moment everyone is ordinary.”

“I–”

“You just picked up and started reviewing those contracts, when Soumen won’t do it. Well, that got me!”

“You knew?” her face reddened.

“Of course, I knew. You think I am that dumb?”

“Obviously not,” she mumbled.

“Even if I didn’t know you,” his voice was less intense now and Karishma relaxed a bit, “I knew my brother. I knew he didn’t suddenly have an enlightenment.”

“But that’s not the case now. He works, actively.”

“I know that too. And I would be eternally grateful to you just for bringing that change about. Whatever you did to motivate him.”

“He has always been in awe of you. He didn’t think that he could measure up to you. So, he was too afraid to take up responsibilities. What if he couldn’t do it as well as you would. Being too cool to work was just a defensive façade.”

“Wow!”

“When you reacted positively to what work I sent your way, he figured he could do it himself too. He looks up to you.”

“And how do you know all this?”

“He talks. Quite a bit,” she laughed, then added jokingly, “But I shouldn’t be telling you all this. It isn’t fair on him.”

“But you haven’t told me anything that will embarrass him. Not yet, anyway.”

“And I won’t.”

“Fair enough. But thank you for what you did tell me. It will help me be a better guardian to him if I am indeed that. I wish I had understood earlier.”

“How could you have?”

“You are right. I couldn’t have known. But for you.”

She blushed and silence prevailed for a while.

At last, she said, “My turn, I guess.”

“Remember. It is not a job interview and it is even less of an exam. There is no time limit. You talk when you want to.”

“It’s not every day that you are going to have a free calendar, is it? How did you manage that? You were going to tell me that.”

“I had planned this for over a week. I spoke to you the day before I managed to keep a full day free.”

“This is… unbelievable.”

“But I have always made time for you, Karishma, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“You have, indeed.” Very often he had given her a meeting slot immediately, even if it was the only time he had to himself during the day.

“I think it’s always about priority. You make time for what is on priority, and those you don’t make time for are obviously not your priority. I will always have time for you.”

“Don’t promise so much, please,” her voice sank, “You are so aware of where you stand, what your past has done to you. I don’t even know what my past has done to me. I have been so obsessed with keeping things together, with holding the job and earning that I don’t know who I am as a person. I don’t know who it is that you love and want to marry and spend your life with. Is she even capable to living that life? She may not be.”

Siddhartha regarded her silently for a moment, then leaned forward and reached across the table to hold her hand.

“Then stop and take a breath now. Find out what has become of you. It may not be pretty right now. But people survive. And I don’t know of anyone who has as much strength as you do. Even if nothing ever becomes of us, even if our relationship doesn’t see a future, it would have been worthwhile if it helped confront you your demons and defeat them. I will be by your side through this.”

“It doesn’t seem fair that you should have to deal with this.”

“May be what isn’t fair is that you should have to dredge up your past just because I decided to barge into your life one fine day declaring that I am in love with you. But you didn’t run away, you didn’t say ‘no’, which you were capable of saying as we know from a certain incident in past. So, perhaps you want to give it a try. With me, for my sake.”

Biting her lips, her face contorting to stop tears from flowing, she nodded.

He stood up and, continuing to hold her hand, came to stand beside her.

“Let’s go,” he said softly and helped her up. He wrapped his other hand around her and led her to his car. They sat inside the car in silence for a while.

Karishma broke the silence, “I need to pick Kirti up.”

“She is still at the pre-school? I thought it was only for a couple of hours.”

“In the beginning. Now she has adjusted there and stays until half past three.”

“Okay. Let’s go then.”

“You could drop me at the signal before Starbucks–”

“It’s barely half a kilometer from there. I will go with you.”

She smiled, “How do you know where it is?”

He flinched, but Karishma didn’t notice. Then he said with a shrug, “Everybody’s kids seem to go there. Difficult to not know.”

“She would stay in the company day care after this, right?” he asked as they were about to reach.

“Yes. Usually.”

“And what plans do you have for the afternoon?”

Fully aware that he had kept his day free, she replied, “Nothing particular. Soumen is not going to be in the office.”

“Then you are stuck with me, I’m afraid.”

She smiled, “Where would we go?”

“To my office!”

“That would be awkward.”

“We have had dozens of meetings in past.”

“I suppose so,” she mumbled. When it felt so different to you inside, was it possible that nothing would be revealed to the outside world? She stole a quick glance at him. He was relaxed. If he didn’t worry about it, she decided that she wouldn’t either.

—

To be continued