Mutual Jealousy (Part 11)
Piyali was glad that her guests had decided to leave the same evening and it had nothing to do with the troubles her Pishima caused her father. She was just glad to have the house to herself, and her thoughts of Mukundo Babu; when he was not around, that is.
When he was around, they would usually lock themselves up in her room, or find a corner in the backyard or garden, and have endless conversations.
“I don’t think you can be serious about me…”
“Still? Why?”
“I don’t work still.”
“You eat so little, I can feed you without grudging it,” he laughed.
“But I want to work.”
“Since you don’t want to work with me, it will take some time to find you a job.”
“That was when… I want to work with you.”
“Why didn’t you want so earlier?”
“I was afraid you will find even more faults with me, find me stupid or lazy, and start disliking me…”
His smile vanished on hearing this. He continued playing with her hand though as he apologized. “I am sorry.”
“Stop saying sorry all the time. What for?”
“I have been horrible as a lover, Piyali. Always finding faults in your, making you miserable…”
“At every stage of my life,” she uttered every word slowly and emphatically, “You have been exactly what I needed, Mukundo Babu. A twenty-year-old woman can enjoy the attentions of a doting lover, but a nine-year-old girl, who had lost even her surrogate parents, needed a strong guardian, who could be critical…”
“Piyali!”
“I can never forget that day, Mukundo Babu. I had seen Kaka’s body, before you remembered to send me off. I was trying to find some comfort with Kaki, but she had gone silent… Baba was close to having a nervous breakdown. Binoy Da was barely able to manage him… You were the one, who had to take care of everything… The cremations, the rituals, and you had kept me in tow as soon as his body was gone. Comforting me, assuring me… That you were there, and everything will be all right. And since then… The safest place for me in the world is by your side. And every time someone praised me for good behavior, I have thanked you. Every time I saw a friend struggling with an exam paper that I aced, I have thanked you. Every time I realize that I alive, and well, and normal, I have thanked you, Mukundo Babu. If you hadn’t been the strong hand guiding me all through… I wouldn’t have survived to have a lover… So, don’t complain to about having been a tough guardian. What would I have been without that?”
“You are very generous, Piyali. Your guardianship had happened as an accident to me. I wasn’t prepared for it. I knew nothing about it. But I hung onto it for my life. Because apart from that, I had lost my purpose in life. You know about that already… Caring for you was the only part that made my life meaningful. And I overdid it many a times. I criticized a bit too much, pushed you too hard, held back praises too often… But you say it has been all right?”
“Are you proud of me today, Mukundo Babu? Of what I have become?”
“Extremely!”
“Then, it has been all right, hasn’t it been?”
He smiled and kissed her forehead.
“If you were so good as an unprepared guardian, I already envy our children, for whom you would be prepared.”
He arched his eyebrows and she blushed crimson on realizing what she had said. He laughed at her predicament.
—
“We were friends since you were a baby, Piyali. You have always been special for me. But especially last eleven years, I have lived for no reason other than to take care of you. I did not realize when I grew so possessive. I cannot figure out when you grew into this beautiful woman who could evoke such jealousy in me that it scared me.”
“Jealousy…” she laughed softly, “You were crazy, Mukundo Babu. Even if I did fall in love with someone, I would not have taken a single step forward without your approval. Didn’t you know that?”
“Oh Piyali! You might be the most intelligent woman in the world. But even if you become the wisest, you cannot know what jealousy does to a man.”
“I can know. I was jealous too.”
“Yeah. You were a little whiny when you were jealous,” he grinned, then mimicked her, “Why wouldn’t you tell us if you wanted to marry Pratibha Di.”
“Come on!”
“A man can become murderous in jealousy.”
“Not you,” she laughed, “You were also just whiny.” She also tried to mimic him, “I don’t like this guy. Something about him is not honest. He has definitely not come here to escape city life. I can tell you he is getting bored here and would like to make a run for his life…”
She was not a good mimic and herself broke into a laughter at her poor attempt.
He looked at her as if hypnotized. Then he suddenly said, “Right now I don’t care if you have halitosis.” And he attacked her lips before she could prepare herself for it. Soon, she was out of breath and he had to let go.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.
She nodded, still panting, while a shy smile played on her lips.
“I must talk to Kaku.”
Why suddenly? She wondered. Although she did not ask him, it had to be done sooner or later, she did look at him quizzically.
He understood her unasked questions. “There are limits… I don’t want to cross unless I have his blessings for this relationship.”
She gasped, and Mukundo could not suppress a crooked smile on noticing that.
“What was that word?” she suddenly asked.
“What word?”
“What you had said – that you don’t care if I had…”
“Halitosis?”
“What is that?”
“Bad breath,” he grinned.
“Mukundo Babu!” she pretended to hit him.
“What this shows is that you need to read more. More than just travelogues and picture books.”
“All right!”
“Sorry!” he smiled sheepishly.
—
To be continued