Mish' Fiction

On her eighteenth birthday, Mukundo had a chat with her. “You are officially an adult now, Mou. Here are the papers of the bank account you can now operate independently.”

“Thank you, Baba.”

“And Mou. This also seems like the right time to have an adult discussion with you. About Ahwaan. If you have any curiosities, questions, if you ever have to face that part of your life, you should be prepared.”

“Baba!” she had been touched.

“I mean it, Shona.”

“Would you mind Baba, if someday I try to find him?”

“Do you want to?”

“I don’t know. But just in case…”

“Wait a minute,” he had gone away for a moment and had returned with an old photograph. “You mother had given it to me all those years back. As a way of introducing him while asking for my help in convincing your grandfather for accepting him.”

“She had asked for your help?” Mou was surprised.

Mukundo had laughed, “Life is queer, Mou. Yes, she had asked for my help, and I had happily helped her too. But anyway. This is his photograph. I kept it, I don’t know why.”

“Baba. It won’t hurt you, if I keep it, would it?”

“No,” his reply was unhesitant, “So long as you assure me that I have not failed you as a father.”

“Oh. You haven’t Baba. Why do you even need an assurance? Everyone knows. You should know too.”

Presently she thrust the photograph in Ahwaan’s hand. “My mother had known you at one point of time. But when I met your sons in the jail, they said that I should be thankful that I don’t have a father like you. And I am. I am thankful.”

“How is Piyali?” Regret seemed to be hitting him after all.

“She is very happy. She has been so all these years. And yeah – she wasn’t the one who had kept this photograph. So, don’t get any ideas. I got it from my father. Now the final one. Good Bye.”

—

“Baba!”

“Mou! Shona. What’s up?” Mou sounded unusually emotional on phone.

“Nothing Baba. Just wanted to say that I love you.”

“Me too Mou. But why suddenly… Is something the matter, child?”

“Nothing to worry about. Just met some people who didn’t have a father like mine.”

“Nothing to worry about?”

“No. Nothing. I won’t lie to you Baba.”

“Yeah. I love you. And I trust you.”

“Me too, Baba. Good night.”

“What was it?” Piyali asked after Mukundo disconnected the call.

“Mou called up to say that she loves me.”

“Huh! Just that?” What was up with this sudden display of emotions.

“Hmm…”

“Mukundo Babu? She is not up to something stupid, is she?”

“I think she has met or found out about Ahwaan,” he replied.

“What?” Piyali got worried. “Why? How?”

“Calm down, Pihu Rani. That man isn’t exactly going to elicit fatherly respect from anyone.”

“You know something more then? What is it?”

Mukundo told her about his conversation with Mou on her eighteenth birthday and how he had given her the photograph.

“Why would you encourage her to…”

“I didn’t encourage her, Piyali. I just promised to support her in whatever she wanted. I didn’t want her to feel alone and do something stupid instead of seeking our support. And her curiosity was genuine.”

“Did she tell you now that she met him?”

“No. I guessed.”

“And you are sure that her meeting didn’t go well?”

“I fancy myself to be a liberal man, Pihu Rani. I have maintained that I wouldn’t interfere in my adult daughter’s life. But you know… it is a little difficult to do that as a father,” he gave a know-it-all smile. Piyali raised her eyebrows questioningly. Mukundo chuckled and continued, “When I realized that she would want to know about him one day or the other, I figured I myself needed to find out what was in store for her. So, I sort of kept an eye on him. I have some acquaintances in Mumbai who helped.”

“And?”

“And it isn’t pretty. I am sorry for what happened to his family. But none of it is surprising given what he did to you back then.” He briefly told her whatever he knew about Ahwaan and his family.

“And you think she has found out too?” she asked.

“I think so.”

“Is she okay?”

“It would have been disturbing, but she is brave as you have always maintained. And I think she appreciates the life you gave her all the more now.”

Piyali shook her head and replied with a smile, “The life you gave her, Mukundo Babu.”

“You, Pihu Rani, underestimate what you have done. And you blindly worship me. Remember that you had decided to bring her into this world before I even knew, much less support you.”

“Probably because somewhere, deep down, I knew you would help me. I didn’t know what form will it take, but I had taken your support for granted.”

“Give me all the credit you want. It seems to make you happy. So, I will bear it,” he repeated her words from ten years ago with a smile and she laughed.

“I have a complaint against you.”

“What is it?”

“You keep secrets from me, Mukundo Babu. You never told me that Mou wanted to find out about Ahwaan. And that you had been spying on him…”

“Piyali. I…” he looked guilty, “It wasn’t intentional… I…”

“It’s okay Mukundo Babu. I was… I wasn’t serious.”

“I don’t keep secrets from you Piyali,” Mukundo still felt the need to explain, “You know everything about me. I just didn’t like to mention Ahwaan before you. He didn’t bother me. Not even Mou. We were not the ones whom he had given bad memories. You were. So, unless necessary I didn’t want to…”

“You were protecting me, as always…”

“There is something else too…”

“What?”

“You have been over-protective of my status as Mou’s father. I sometimes felt that you were harsh on her if you ever felt that she was undermining my position. Although she never was…”

Piyali chuckled, “I was always tough with her. Both parents can’t be spoiling the child; you didn’t leave me with much choice.”

“Piyali. I haven’t said it in a while…”

“What?”

“I love you.”

Forty-eight year old Piyali blushed at that like a new bride. But she replied boldly, “I love you too!”

– The End –

“Our father disowned us.”

“Disowned? Why?”

“Because he didn’t approve of our career choices.”

“Career choice as a drug dealer?” Shivendra raised his eyebrows.

One of the brothers looked angry at the sarcasm, but the other chuckled and restrained him by holding his arm, “This wasn’t a choice Mr. Vyas. This was rebellion. We wanted to get into movie-making. But that wasn’t an appropriate enough choice for him.”

“That was it?”

“For us? Yes.”

“For him?”

“I don’t know. He had been a puppet in the hands of his parents all his life. He expected us to do the same.”

“How so?”

“Are you going to print all of this?”

“You don’t want us to?”

“Actually… Go ahead… Please print it. He should be exposed for the insensitive, coward he is.”

“Tell me.”

“Before his parents he could never open his mouth. He married our mother for a fat dowry, because his parents wanted that. He had her abort our sister because his parents did not want a girl child…”

“And who are we to say that those weren’t his own wishes, which he explained away with the idea of being the obedient son,” the belligerent brother added.

“True!” said the first one, “We were too young to understand then… But our mother was so disturbed by that forced abortion that…” His voice trailed.

“She lost her mind,” his brother added, “He never took her to a doctor or psychiatrist, of course. The crime would have come out in open.”

“Where is she now?” Mou asked.

“In a mental asylum. It’s too late for her to reveal anything and keeping her at home was being difficult for him.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“No. Don’t be sorry,” the first brother said sadly, “Be thankful that you don’t have such a man for a father.”

“Who looked after you in your childhood, given you mother’s… condition?” Shivendra continued the conversation.

“Nobody!”

There was a pause, as even a seasoned reporter like Shivendra struggled to maintain a façade of objectivity.

“But you were the sons. He must have been concerned about you?”

“Yeah. He was. He would keep threatening us once in a while that we must perform in school as per his expectations; otherwise he would disown us, until the day he did act on his threat, because we won’t do engineering or MBA.”

“Wouldn’t agreeing to him have been better than this?”

He looked thoughtful, “Probably. Or there would have been better ways of rebelling too. Problem was that there was no one to help and support us then. This wasn’t a conscious life-long choice. We were just looking for a quick way of making some money so that we could act on our dreams… But once you are in…” his voice drowned again.

Mou looked at her papers. These twenty-two year olds had already made the worst of their lives. And not despite, but because of their father. Their biological father. The papers did not have their father’s name. She could not help asking.

“What is his name? Your father’s?”

“Will you do me a favor?” asked the more mature of the two brothers.

“What is it?”

“I will tell you his name, his address. Would you interview him and ask him if he ever thinks that letting go of his parental ego would have been better than this.”

Mou looked at Shivendra. Was an interview with the father on the cards? Would he talk?

“We, of course, would like to interview him if he is willing to talk. What is his name?”

“Ahwaan Sharma. His address is….”

Mou’s mind went blank for a moment. She wrote down the address with some difficulty.

“Mou. I have to leave for Delhi for a week. But we can’t wait that long to do the father’s interview. Do you think you can do it? I can ask someone to accompany you…” Shivendra told her when they were back in the office.

She thought for a moment and then replied, “I’d do it. But do you think he would talk?”

“Chances are thin. You can’t probably even get into his house, if you tell him why you want to talk. And assuming you get in on some pretext, you might still be thrown out. So, be careful. Don’t go too aggressive. We can do the story without him too.”

“Okay.”

—

“Please contact our PR department,” was the response Mou got when she tried to reach Ahwaan for an interview.

“It isn’t about the company,” she reasoned.

“According to company policies, executives are not supposed to talk to the press in personal capacity.”

While an interview was not happening, she still wanted to meet him once. She decided to take the brute-force approach. She found him walking out of his house where she had been waiting for him for several hours.

“Mr. Sharma?”

“Yes,” he turned to her and looked startled for a moment. Mou knew that she looked a lot like her mother. His startling on seeing her and the unaware silent staring that followed confirmed to her that she had found the right man.

“My name is Mou Thakur,” she started explaining and handed her business card.

“You have been badgering me with request for interviews,” he recognized the name, “And don’t want to come through the PR department.” He had gotten his bearings back.

“I’m afraid you wouldn’t want me to tell your PR department what I wanted to talk to you about.”

His composure vanished again. Was it really her? Piyali’s daughter? Mou Thakur? His name was Mukundo Thakur… Did she want to talk about… “It’s about your sons,” she said. Ahwaan felt like he was caught between a mountain and a hard rock. This wasn’t particularly better than what he had been worried about.

“What sons?” he tried to not let his anxiety show, “I don’t have any sons.”

“Twenty-two years old… That’s all they have seen of the life and the world. They could have had everything, but they are lodged in a jail and their life is a dead-end.”

“I have disowned them. I have no sons,” he maintained his stance.

“Hmm… You are quite an expert at disowning and abandoning people, aren’t you? And ordering abortions for that matter.”

“Who are you?”

“Proud daughter of my parents.”

“What is your mother’s name?”

She chuckled sarcastically, “How funny! That a patriarch like you should ask for my mother’s name, and not my father’s. Anyway. The interview was a lost cause. But your disowned sons wanted to ask you something, and me too. That’s why I tried so hard to meet you. Would letting them pursue their dreams not have been better than this? And if your conscience, for once, knocks at your heart, there might still be something you could do for them. Arthur Road Jail is the address. Good bye, Mr. Sharma.”

“Wait Mou,” he stopped her anxiously, “Do you know me?” He could not gather courage to ask her directly yet.

She took out a photograph from her purse.

—

To be continued

“Make some space on the bed,” he took control of the situation again and whispered to Piyali. Piyali nodded and hastily proceeded to pick up the books from the bed and put them on the table.

Mukundo took his daughter to the bed, and tucked her in. “Get some sleep. You are exhausted. You are working too hard,” he told her with a smile.

She clutched onto his hand. “Don’t leave, Baba,” she said, still choking on her words.

“I won’t move. Have I ever left your bedside when you are sick?”

She managed to smile and closed her eyes. Piyali brought a comfortable chair for him to sit on beside the bed. She also sat near him. They stayed silent for a while. He spoke after ensuring that Mou was asleep. “You were right. I shouldn’t have let my fear and insecurity show. I scared her.”

“Don’t beat yourself up,” she pressed his hands and assured him.

“Aren’t you going to ask what I told her that…”

“Mukundo Babu,” she interrupted, “All those years back, when I had come to you with her as an unborn baby, desperately trying to make some sense of life, desperately trying to do the right thing, you hadn’t asked me any questions. You hadn’t questioned whether she should be allowed to live or not, something even my own father had questioned. As far as she is concerned, I don’t need to ask you anything.”

Mukundo looked at her silently for a few moments before replying, “You know how everyone finds our father-daughter relationship to be extraordinary. It has been possible because she trusts me. And she does it because you have taught her to. In action, in words. Mou, and my relationship with her, is the best gift you have given to me, Pihu Rani. Thank you.”

Humility! It hadn’t left him till date. “Give me all the credit you want,” she said with a slight chuckle, “It seems to make you happy. So, I will bear it. Let me get you some tea.”

“I meant it, Piyali.”

“I know,” she smiled at him before going out.

“Baba!” Mou woke up after about two hours, “You are still here?”

“I told you, I will be. Feeling better?”

She smiled and nodded looking embarrassed. “You almost scared me by understanding my feelings too well. I was confused, sad, even angry,” she said, and added hastily, “Not at you.”

“I know,” he held her hand, “Ask me Mou. Whatever questions you have.”

“Why do you love me so much?”

He gave her a knowing smile, “Why do parents love their kids? The most loved kids are those who remind their parents of the love they share. I love you so much, because I love your mother as much.”

“But most people plan for kids before…”

“I had no hopes of ever getting my love, let alone plan for kids, Mou. If you hadn’t happened, my life wouldn’t have happened. Try not to find it morbid. But while you mother suffered for a while, the outcome of that suffering was life-long happiness for me. I have tried to share that happiness with her, and with you.”

“I love you, Baba. I hope… I haven’t hurt you. Now, or earlier…”

“Mou. Shona, kids are supposed to create some troubles for their parents and take them for granted once in a while. You have done you share,” he chuckled; then turned serious, “That doesn’t hurt the parents. It makes them happy… That there is someone in the world who knows that they would do anything for her. I am very proud of you, my child. Come here. Give me a hug.”

“Baba,” Mou spoke hesitantly after breaking the hug, “There is something I wanted to ask. And if you think I should not know, you can say ‘no’. I won’t mind…”

“Yes. If I think you should not know, I will say ‘no’, young lady. So, cut the chase and just ask,” he grinned at his dramatic reply.

“I didn’t ask Mamma. I thought you should decide whether to answer it. What was his name? The man who abandoned me and her?”

Mukundo thought for a moment before replying, “You trust me Mou. And I trust you too. If anything else comes to your mind, you must tell me. His name was Ahwaan Sharma. Any other information we may have about him would be fourteen years old. But if you want to know…”

“No. That’s okay, Baba. Thank you.”

—

10 years later…

“Mou,” her boss Shivendra Vyas called her to his office and explained, “You remember I told you about this extensive story we are doing on changing parent-child relationship in our society.” Mou had recently joined this Mumbai-based magazine as a field reporter after finishing her studies in media and journalism. Her career choice had been inspired by her mother’s.

“Yeah.”

“And we have a very interesting interview lined up with twin brothers currently lodged in Arthur Road jail. Caught for weapon and drug trade. They come from a well-to-do family. Their father is a top executive in an FMCG company here. I think interesting family dynamics would come out form this interview. Want to accompany me?”

“Of course, Sir.” she replied because it was a good professional opportunity. But there was a bit of trepidation in her heart about the topic. Parent-child relationship. She had been lucky with her parents. But a little curiosity in her heart had refused to die for last ten years, since the day she had discovered that she had a biological father she had never seen or met. She would wonder what the life would have been like if she had grown up with him. Sometimes she imagined the worst, and sometimes she wistfully thought that it would have been even better than her current life. And starting with this interview, she was going to open another Pandora’s Box. What other people’s lives have been like with their parents? What were these brothers doing selling drugs, when their father could have provided everything for them? Just like her Baba.

The initial questions of the interview focused around what they had done, who were the people they were involved with, and how they ended up getting caught. It appeared from their answers that they were mere pawns in the large scheme of things. Why would they do something like that?

—

To be continued

“For today… You had to remember some horrible things… And you got late for your office,” she chuckled, then turned serious again, “And for everything that you, and Baba, had to go through to bring me into this world.”

“I will give you one tight slap, if you ever talked like that, Mou.”

“Mamma…”

“No. I am serious. What nonsense was that? We have brought you into this world, because we love you. And if we went through anything for you, it was because you were our responsibility, not because we were doing some charity for your biological father. You were not his. You were ours. And you will remain that. Always. Do you understand?”

“Yes Mamma. And I am sorry for saying this. This isn’t what I meant. Please. Don’t be upset.”

“Should I stay back today, Shona?” Piyali softened immediately.

“No Mamma. I will be fine.”

“Sure?”

“Yes Mamma. Don’t worry.”

—

“Mukundo Babu!”

Mukundo was surprised to see her at the university. Even after all these years of being together, her sudden appearance brightened up his face. “What’s up? Bunking work?” He grinned.

“Need to talk to you…” Piyali hadn’t originally planned on telling him anything about her conversation with Mou. But she had hardly left her home for work, when she started feeling guilty about keeping a secret from him. She called her office informing them that she would not be coming and drove towards the university instead. This couldn’t be discussed on phone.

Mukundo became somber, “What is it? Everything all right? Is something wrong with Mou?”

“No. No. Just… Do you have a class now? Can we go to your office?”

“Let’s go.”

She slumped on the visitor’s chair when they entered his office.

“What’s wrong Guddi?” he still used all his nicknames for her. When Mou was born, he had joked that he had already used up all the endearing nicknames for Piyali. What would he use to address their daughter? And then he had named her Mou. Honey. She was about sweetness and love.

“Mou knows,” she said quickly before she would lose the nerves to say it.

“Mou knows?” he didn’t understand immediately.

“About… Ahwaan,” Piyali added in a weak voice.

Mukundo was startled as expected. His subsequent reaction, however, surprised Piyali. He sank down in his chair and closed his eyes. Next he buried his face in his hands. He was… scared?

“Mukundo Babu?”

He looked up. She had never seen him like this. So unsure… So insecure…

“She is all right, Mukundo Babu. Why are you so… No Mukundo Babu. You can’t be insecure about this. You can’t appear weak, or worse, scared. She looks up to you. You are her pillar of strength. Mine too…”

“This is one thing I have been so terrified of Piyali. I… I don’t know… We should have talked earlier; we should have been prepared. But I… I just didn’t have the strength. Would she still accept me like earlier? I am afraid of losing her, Piyali…”

She got up and went around the table to him. She put her hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed it. “I’m sorry. I never realized how you felt… I thought you knew and understood… But I should have told you, explicitly, that you have been the best father in the world. At one time, I had decided to put everything on stake to bring her in this world. I had even been selfish enough to marry you despite believing that it wasn’t the right decision for you. But today, if she doesn’t realize how lucky she has been to have you as a father, if she doesn’t realize that her biological father abandoning us had been our biggest blessing in disguise, then she doesn’t deserve you Mukundo Babu. I will disown her if she hurts you; or if she doesn’t give you what is your due as her father…”

“Piyali!” her extreme emotions surprised him.

“I am sorry,” she gave a nervous smile and spoke softly, “None of that is going to happen. She is your daughter. Mature, understanding… She was very brave about it. But may be… you should talk to her.”

Mukundo was still nervous, but Piyali’s confidence gave him courage.

—

Mou was way past the age when children are unselfconsciously mean and selfish with parents. She now realized her responsibility towards them. So, she had controlled her reaction over the shocking revelations about her parentage while her mother was around. But she was anxious, confused, and ever angry. She was conscientious. She knew she shouldn’t be angry at her parents. Who should she be angry on then? Her real… no… biological father? But what for?

She was pacing up and down in her room, when Mukundo knocked at the open door.

“Baba?” she was taken by surprise.

“Bored of studies I see?” he smiled as he walked in.

“I was… just… taking a break.”

“You know something Mou,” he spoke with a nervous smile as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Mou was standing across from him near the window, “I have spent hours and hours with my colleagues in Psychology department taking their advice on what to do about it, how to talk to you, whether to volunteer the information to you… And despite knowing everything that professionals say about it, I have done the dumbest thing possible. Forget about talking to you, I never discussed it with even your mother. Probably you are angry right now. Probably just confused. Or sad. Probably your mother has warned you against hurting me. The professionals have always told me that I was trying too hard to be a good father. Your mother also thought that I would spoil you. Probably all that is true.  But the bottom line is that I have been the happiest and luckiest father in the world to have you. And I will continue to be that happiest father if you would share with me what is going on in your mind. Whatever it is. Even if you think it would hurt me. It won’t. Because even if I have tried too hard, even if I have spoiled you in the process, one thing I am really, really proud of is your trust in me, and the honest relationship we share. If there is anything you want to know, if you have any questions at all, if you want something…”

“Baba,” Mou interrupted him, “Please don’t cry. It scares me… Please.” Mukundo hadn’t realized when tears had started flowing out of his eyes. It affected his daughter, and she also started crying.

“Oh God! I am sorry,” he went to her, “Come here, Shona. I’m so sorry.” He hugged her, “There is nothing to be scared of. Oh God!” He realized that Mou was shivering from anxiety and fear. “Piyali! Piyali. Come here.” he got worried and called her.

“What happened?” Piyali rushed in.

“She is… she is crying…”

“Mou. Come on Shona. Stop crying. Don’t you remember what I told you? Nothing has changed. Why are you scared? Calm down, darling.”

Mou wiped her tears with one hand, while still holding her father with another. Then without saying word, she just embraced him again. Mukundo patted her head. He looked at her bed. It was strewn with her books.

—

To be continued

“Mamma! What is your blood group?” Fourteen-year old Mou asked Piyali, who was getting ready to go to the office. After Mou’s birth and few months of recovery, she had started on her journalistic career and had climbed its ladders steadily and well. She was the chief-editor of a major publication house in Kolkata. Mou’s classes were over for the year, and she was preparing for board exams which were to start two weeks later.

“A-positive.”

“And Baba’s?”

“O-positive.”

“How is that possible?”

“Why?”

“Mine is AB-positive.”

“So? Mine was also different from my parents.”

“Different is fine. But it is predictable. If my blood group is AB-positive, at least one the parents’ has to be B-positive or AB-positive.”

“I don’t know. I was never a Science student,” Piyali grew nervous and tried to end the discussion, “I am getting late for the office…”

“Mamma!” Mou was a perceptive child and Piyali could not get away from her, “Science doesn’t change because someone decided not to study it. This is not possible.”

“We haven’t gotten our blood group checked in a long time, Mou. Probably I don’t remember it correctly. Probably mine is AB-positive… How do I know?”

“Mamma! Before asking you I had seen your blood-group from your driving license. Baba’s too. What do I not know, Mamma?” Mou was determined. And scared of what she was going to find out! Piyali’s heart sank. She had thought of discussing it with Mukundo a thousand times, so that they could be prepared for this day, if it ever came. But she never got around to doing it. The idea of ever reminding Mukundo of Mou’s parentage repulsed her. He doted over his daughter. He was his friend, philosopher and guide; just like he had been to her. The generation gap seemed to disappear between the father and the daughter. How could Piyali break the harmony of this relationship? But what was she to do now? How will Mou react to the truth? How will Mukundo bear it?

“Mou. Your exams are at hand. Don’t bother yourself with pointless questions…” Piyali made a last-ditch attempt at avoiding the storm.

“Mamma, tell me. Now!”

“Fine Mou,” Piyali sighed, “But you have to promise me something. That you wouldn’t say a word about it to your Baba.”

“He doesn’t know?” Mou looked even more anxious.

“Of course, he knows,” Piyali got slightly irritated as she realized what Mou might have thought, “I don’t have any secrets from him. And I know you don’t either. But what I am asking you to keep from him is your knowing it. And not just with words, even with your actions.”

“What do you mean, Mamma?”

“Don’t hurt him Mou. Promise me, you won’t.”

“Mamma, please.”

“You have to promise me before I open my mouth,” Piyali spoke in her tough-parent tone. Since Mukundo had been excessively indulgent with her, the responsibility of keeping her in line, when needed, had fallen on her.  So, she didn’t have any difficulty in acting tough.

“I promise. Now tell me. Who isn’t my real parent?”

“You mean biological parent, Mou,” Piyali corrected her, “Who do you think has not been a real parent to you between us?”

“Don’t keep me in this suspense, Mamma…” Mou begged.

“You were born prematurely Mou. There was a complication and I had made him promise that he would choose to save you over me, if that choice had to be made. It was a tough promise to make, but he made it. And then he had literally flown in doctors from everywhere to save you and me. You were weak after birth, and fell sick easily. I myself was so weak and sick that I didn’t think I would survive to bring you up. But I knew that I could trust him to care for you even more than I would. Your Baba spent nights after nights tending to you when you woke up crying; and he put both of us to sleep. He continued taking care of you even when I was better, because he could not bear to see you crying. He just had to ensure, personally, that you were calm and comfortable in sleep; and otherwise! He was willing to pull you out of school, when one day you came home crying because a teacher had scolded you. If you wanted something, he would get it, irrespective of what it took, even when I opposed it. Mou. He never agreed to have another child, because he said that his family was complete and he didn’t need anyone else. Truth is that he never even accidentally wanted you to feel neglected, not that he would have done it…”

“Mamma. Please stop,” Mou grew overwhelmed and started crying. Piyali embraced her and tried to assure her. “Nothing has changed, Shona. Why are you crying? You are the most loved child in the world. Your Baba loves you like no one else can. What do you not have?”

Mou overcame her emotional outburst and wiped her tears. “I still want to know, Mamma. How did this happen? Who is my…” she paused for the right word before continuing, “Biological father? What happened to him?”

Piyali just told her about their relationship, her pregnancy and breakup. She initially did not say anything about him wanting abortion.

“Does he know about me?” Mou looked hopeful. Such hopes wouldn’t do anyone any good. It was better to be done with the ugliness once and for all.

“He wanted me to abort you,” she steeled her heart as well as voice and informed her daughter.

Mou’s face fell. Piyali suffered at her daughter’s pain too. But she was thankful that Mukundo was not around. Mou had to face it and move on from it someday or the other. He would have been heart-broken though.

“Parenthood is not about blood-relations Shona,” she pressed Mou’s hand and spoke somberly, “It is about love, care and responsibility. If you can trust my judgment, that man backing out of our lives was the best thing that happened to both of us. Otherwise we would not have had your Baba. That man could never measure up to Mukundo Babu, Mou. Never ”

“But what about Baba, Mamma? Did Baba marry you because you were pregnant with me?”

Piyali smiled, “No. He wanted to marry me. We both wanted it. Although it took some time for us to realize that the other person wanted it too.”

“You are not making any sense.”

Piyali briefly told her about the conversation they had after five months of their wedding. She didn’t tell her about Ahwaan’s role in it. The less curious she felt about him, the better it would be for her.

Mou had a smile on her lips when Piyali finished telling her how both of them had remained silent thinking about the other person’s discomfort. “I can’t believe this,” she said, “You were crazy. How could you not let each other know even after getting married? Five months?”

“What can I say, darling?” Piyali patted her daughter’s head and blushed slightly, “I could blame it all on the pregnancy hormones. But I know that was not the case…”

“Mamma!” Mou turned serious again, “Does Baba regret it any time? Does he regret me?”

“No,” Piyali replied promptly and matter-of-factly, “He doesn’t have an iota of regret. He is very happy, trust me. If at all he does anything, it is over-expressing his fatherly love. He spoils you.”

“I know,” Mou looked thoughtful.

“And he is very proud of you Mou. He has very high expectations from you. Don’t disappoint him. Starting from your board exams. Don’t get disturbed by what we discussed today. I had a wrong man as a lover once. I suffered because of it. Only for a while though. But you always had the right man as your father. You should have no regrets. Okay?”

She nodded. “I’m sorry, Ma.”

Piyali looked at her worried. She called her ‘Ma’ only when she was extremely serious. “What for, Mou? Why say sorry?”

—

To be continued

“What’s the matter?” Mukundo asked when they were back at home, “What are you preoccupied with?”

“Nothing.”

“Guddi! No secrets from me, please.”

“I met Ahwaan today.”

“What? Where?” he jumped in surprise.

“While waiting for the car, after the play.”

“And?” he was getting worried.

“He said that you had called him.”

He stayed silent. Did that upset her?

“And that you talked him out of marrying me,” she added.

“What! Piyali…”

“I told him that he was a liar and he should take his dirty tricks elsewhere.”

He sighed, “You trust me, right? I won’t do something like that. Not to you…”

She nodded, “He was obviously bitter that I had moved on and wanted to create doubts in my head. I know that you won’t do that to me Mukundo Babu. You won’t have done that even if you really wanted me. A selfish person like him won’t understand that wanting someone is not the only reason to accept them. I do know, however, that the only reason we are here today is because you care for me infinitely…”

“Wait a minute,” he interrupted, “He was wrong. And so are you.”

She looked up at him questioningly.

“I had called him up. But not before you came here. After that. After you had told me everything. I had called him up in an attempt to persuade him to reconsider your relationship. I did that although I had already proposed to you. So, yes, he was lying and was trying to mess up with you. But I hadn’t called him because I didn’t want you, Piyali.  No. I had called him because I knew that even if you accepted me, you would feel burdened about that decision. Whereas if he came back, you would be happy. I had called him because I cared for you; because I wanted your happiness more than anything else in the world. More than even my own. And I care for you, and want your happiness, because… Because I love you.”

It was her turn to be taken aback. Really? Did he say that?

“You never felt that?” he asked.

“You have loved me ever since I can remember anything, Mukundo Babu. Like a best friend, a mentor, a guardian… Who wouldn’t feel that? Why else did I keep running to you every time I had a problem, or every time I was happy? But I never flattered myself that I was good enough to be your partner…”

“And I never told you how precious you are,” he said as if thinking aloud.

“You treat me preciously, Mukundo Babu. That is not the point. Not at all,” her voice quivered.

“What is the point, then?” he asked sincerely and eagerly.

“You said that the wedding was a formality; that I shouldn’t act like a wife to you, and… it has been,” she averted her eyes and looked down, “five months since our wedding. You haven’t so much as touched me. I don’t blame you, Mukundo Babu. I never fancied…”

Mukundo looked amused and overwhelmed at the same time. Piyali stopped speaking. She felt foolish all of a sudden. Mukundo broke the silence, “Wedding was a formality because all that mattered to me was that you would be in my life. Rituals didn’t matter to me. I don’t remember when I said anything about not acting like a wife. But what I must have meant was that… just be yourself. Nothing needed to change between us. I loved you the way you were. I would always love you that way. But I can’t blame you for not knowing what I felt, Guddi. I wouldn’t have realized myself what you meant to me if Kaka’s job hadn’t taken you away from Kolkata. It has been what… ten years? You were fourteen at that time. I had teased you endlessly before you left that I won’t even bother to remember you. And you were so upset. I didn’t mean that, of course. But I hadn’t known just how much I would miss you either.  I didn’t have any work to do in Mumbai every three months or so. I came to see you. It was like a regular fix I needed…”

Piyali was wide-eyed with the revelations, “You never told me anything. Did you… did you tell Baba?”

“I was twelve when you were born Pihu Rani. I didn’t think it would be acceptable to either you, or Kaka. And you had your own life…”

She flushed, “I… None of it was serious Mukundo Babu. At least not before Ahwaan…”

“Nothing to get defensive about. It was natural. You were exploring your world… I did tell Kaka after the wedding though.”

“Was that why he was in a better mood before leaving?”

“Probably.”

“You could have told me then at least…”

He sighed.

“What is it…” she asked eagerly.

“You wouldn’t have believed me. Whatever little I did say, you thought I said it just to make you feel good. And also… wouldn’t it have made me look like an opportunist? As if I was trying to take advantage of your vulnerable situation… Then I didn’t want to put you under anymore stress. I didn’t want you to feel pressurized to reciprocate my feelings. Everything was so complicated and I was trying to simplify it…”

“Pressurized? You are my hero, Mukundo Babu. You have always been…”

“Not a lover, Piyali…”

“Because I never dared… never dared to think that I could be good enough for you. You were this responsible, wise, nice man… Good at everything. Good with everybody. Even someone as exacting as Baba spoke so highly of you. The couple of women I had seen you with… How many years would it have taken me to be like them. And by then you would have become even better. I didn’t dare, Mukundo Babu. I was just thankful that you had not forgotten me like you had said you would. And that you kept coming to Mumbai and meet us often. I had always been so awed with you that I didn’t even think of looking for someone like you for myself…”

“You had said that…”

“Said what?”

“That you weren’t looking for someone like me for yourself. When you had asked me to talk to Kaka about Ahwaan you had said that he won’t approve of anyone, because he would only want someone like me and you weren’t looking for someone like me.”

“Because,” she smiled through her moist eyes, “Because there is no one like you. There can’t be. It would have been a wild-goose chase to try to find someone like you. I had kept you in my heart as the hero. For real life, I had aimed for much less. I didn’t think you were an option.”

He did not say anything; just smiled.

“I didn’t realize that you were my first and the final and the only option. Do you still love me, Mukundo Babu? Do you want me?”

“What do you think?”

“You do.”

“Yes. I do.” He went forward, held her close and kissed her, gently at first, then probing her mouth for long, leaving her out of breath by the time they separated. “I know it has given wrong signals to you, Piyali. But I will wait for our baby to safely come into the world. This baby is the reason you are in my life finally. It is very precious to me.”

Him saying “our baby” did not escape her notice. Everything was indeed going to be all right.

—

To be continued