Helpless Makeup
Note on the OS
This is supposed to happen when Geet has left’s Khurana Mansion, angry at Maan’s insult, and has reached Amritsar. Maan comes behind her to get her back.
—
He was experiencing a deja vu. It was at the same place where he had found her the last time in Amritsar. She had worn white even on that day. She had looked devastated then too. But he wasn’t bothered then. Or he wasn’t letting himself be bothered. He only cared about getting his land papers signed. What had happened to her was none of his concern.
But today… Today he wanted to be bothered. He wanted her to come to him, shout at him, blame him for her miseries, for her devastation, punish him – do anything to him. Anything, but staying away. She was standing there, lost and sad. What was she thinking about; or rather whom was she thinking about? He knew the answer. It was him. Nobody else mattered to her. She had done the unimaginable, only to be happy with him, for him. And he had lost her.
No. That could not happen. He might not deserve her after how he had behaved. But he was sure that where she was concerned, fate was kind to him. Irrespective of what happened, she was destined to be with him. He should not and would not take her for granted. But the fate will not punish him so badly for this mistake of his.
“Geet!” He went beside her called her name.
She turned and showed no surprise. But she looked at him blankly. As if he wasn’t there. She took a step back.
“Geet! Mujhe pata hai ki main tumhein nahin rok paunga. Main kuchh bhi…”
“Aap sach-much yahan hain?” She asked while taking another step back.
He was surprised. What did that mean? She had been hallucinating about him? And that’s why she wasn’t expecting him to be really there, even when she saw him? Why did his heart skip a beat? Didn’t he already know just how much she loved him? He might have hurt her so bad that she decided to leave him. But she couldn’t think of anything, anyone except him.
“Jab tum yahan ho Geet, to main kahin aur kaise ho sakta hoon?”
He could see in her eyes what her heart really wanted. She wanted to be in his arms. But her self-respect was hurt. She was strong. She would stand for her self-respect and would not let her heart give in.
She would have turned away, but he wasn’t going to let go of the chance he had got. He might have been an absolute idiot in how he treated her. But he was Maan Singh Khurana. He knew when to act. And he acted.
“Nahin Geet. Munh mat modna. Main jaanta hoon Geet ki main tumse kuchh bhi aisa nahin karwa sakta jo tum nahin chahti ho. Kyonki tum mujhse bahut zyada majboot ho Geet. Maine jo kiya, uske liye to main maafi maangne ke layak bhi nahin hoon. Main to swarthi hoon. Main chahta hoon ki abhi tumhein apni baahon mein utha kar apne saath le chaloon. Lekin tum nahin chahogi to main kuchh kar nahin paunga. Aur aaj mere kahne se tum mere saath wapas bhi nahin aaogi. Geet – mujhmein bahut khaamiyan hain. Tum meri baat nahin maanna chahogi. Lekin Geet – apni kismat ka kya karogi?”
He paused. She was surprised, she did not ask anything, but did not move away either.
He continued, “Tumhari kismat achchhi nahin hai Geet. Usne saari khamiyon se bhara hua ye insaan hi tumhari zindagi se jod diya hai. Usne ye tay kar liya hai ki tum chahe to is insaan se naraaz ho jao, is par gussa karo, ise badi se badi sazaa do, par tum isse door nahin ja sakti. Haan Geet. Ye kismat mere oopar bahut meharbaan hai, aur usne tumhare saath zyadati ki hai. Lekin tum apni kismat se nahin bhaag sakti Geet. Koi nahin bhaag sakta.”
“Chup rahiye aap,” she shouted suddenly startling him. His heart sank because she had started stepping back, moving away from him as she continued, “Bilkul chup. Ek shabd aur nahin bolenge aap. Aapko kya lagta hai? Ki aapki jab marzi hogi tab mujhe ulta seedha suna denge, jab marzi hogi tab zaleel kar denge, hamare rishte par sawaal khade kar denge? Phir aap aa kar apni meethi-meethi baaton se mujhe mana lenge aur main pighal jaungi? Yahi lagta hai na aapko?”
“Geet! Main…”
“Suna nahin aapne maine kya kaha? Ek shabd nahin sunna mujhe aapse,” She had stopped moving, “Har baar mujhe khwaab dikha kar unhein choor-choor kar dete hain, har baar aapka gussa aapke liye mere pyaar se zyada zaroori ho jaata hai. Itna ki aap meri baat tak nahin sunte hain aur ulte-seedhe ilzaam laga dete hain. Aur aapko lagta hai ki main phir bhi aapki baatein sun kar pighal jaungi?”
She paused, but Maan could not speak a word. Then she started moving towards him and it seemed that she did not realize it herself. Maan was so joyed by that subconscious gesture of hers that he could not suppress a slight smile. But that vanished as soon as she started speaking again.
“Ismein muskurane ki kya baat hai? Band kijiye muskurana. Aapko lag raha hai ki main mazaak kar rahi hoon? Aap bas mere kareeb aayenge, apni meethi-meethi baatein karenge aur main sab kuchh bhool jaungi?” She had come close to him by then and grabbed his collar. She shook him as she asked, “Bataiye – yahi lagta hai na aapko? Ab bolte kyon nahin hain? Yahi lagta hai na aapko? Ki aap meri kamzori hain? Ki main aapse naraaz nahin rah sakti, chahe aap mujhe kitni bhi chot pahunchayein? Ki pooja karti hoon main aapki? Ki aapka kiya koi bhi kaam, aapki boli koi bhi baat mere liye galat nahin hoti? Ki aap bhagwaan hain mere? Yahi lagta hai na aapko?” she lost control and started crying out loud while leaning on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. Even though it was tearing him apart seeing her cry like this, he knew that she was hurt and she had to vent out. She made no efforts to break free of his arms for a while.
Suddenly she broke free, but still held on to his collar. She started speaking again, still angrily, “Sahi samajhte hain aap. Aap ek baar pyaar se mera naam bulayenge, aur main sab kuchh bhool kar aapki baahon mein sama jaungi. Hain aap meri kamzori. Hain aap mere bhagwaan. Lekin kya is baat ki sazaa mujhe zindagi bhar milti rahegi? Kya is wajah se aap mujhe hamesha satate rahenge? Jaan le lenge meri?”
Maan found his voice back and silenced her by putting his hand on her lips, “Chup Geet. Bahut bolti ho.” Then he removed his hand and went down on his knees. He bowed his head down and said, “Geet. Main koi bhagwaan nahin hoon. Main to tumhari tarah ek nekdil insaan bhi nahin hoon Geet. Main tumhara gunrhgaar hoon. Jo bhi sazaa dogi woh mujhe manzoor hai. Bas mujhe chhod kar mat jao. Warna main kabhi apni khaamiyan door nahin kar paunga Geet. Main apne andar ke andhere aur gusse mein poori tarah doob jaunga.”
Geet also bent down to face him, “Mere bhagwaan ko is tarah chhota banae ki galti mat kijiye. Lekin haan – agar aapne dubara mujhe aise chot pahunchayi to achchha nahin hoga. Main aur kuchh bhi bardasht kar sakti hoon lekin aap mujh par bharosa na karein ye nahin bardasht kar sakti. Samjhe aap? Dubara aisa kiya to main apni jaan doongi…”
“Nahin Geet. Chup ho jao. Galti se bhi aisi baatein apni zabaan par mat lana.”
They both smiled and got up together. They hugged and closed their eyes just feeling the warmth of their togetherness. Suddenly they felt water drops falling on them. The opened their eyes to see that it had started raining. They broke the hug slightly and looked at each other. Water had come again to seal their bonding. The gave a smile of understanding and hugged again. All was well with their world!