Mish' Fiction

Armaan was leaving India. His project was over. Ashutosh, Nidhi and Armaan went out for dinner the day before he was due to leave.

“Dr. Armaan. Aap India aate rahte hain?” Nidhi asked him.

“Is baar to kaafii dinon ke baad aaya. Ab dekho kya projects milte hain is par depend karta hai.”

“Aapko aate rahna chahiye. Dr. Ashutosh ne zyada dost to banaye nahin hain zindagi mein. Koi to aas paas hona chahiye inke.”

“Armaan. Tumhein aate rahne chahiye. Lekin Nidhi, come on! Tumhara accusation sahi nahin hai,” Ashutosh protested.

“Accusation kya hai, fact hai.”

“Bilkul nahin.”

“Achchha to bataiye. Kaun dost hain aapke? Ek Dr. Mallika thi jo shaadi kar ke gayab ho gayin. Aur jab woh thi bhi to… khair. Aur kaun hai?”

“Tum mere oopar pressure create kar ke mujhe nervous kar rahi ho.”

“Chaliye. Isi bahane aapko pata to chala ki pahle din hospital mein interns kaisa feel karte hain. Dr. Armaan. Aap hi bataiye. Main galat kah rahi hoon kya?”

Armaan was laughing by then, “Bhai. Zindagi ne mujhe itna sikha diya hai ki miyan-biwi ke jhagde mein nahin padna chahiye. Tum log to sulah kar loge. Main bekaar mein bewkoof ban jaunga.”

Him referring them as ‘miyan-biwi’ made both Nidhi and Ashutosh blush. Nidhi recovered and said, “Kahir. Bottom line ye hai ki aapko India aate rahne chahiye. To ab bataiye ki next kab aa rahe hain? Sir aap bhi to kuchh boliye.”

“Tum log apni shaadi ka invitation bhejo aur main agli hi flight le kar chala aaunga. Lekin ye to batao Nidhi ki tumhara iraada kya hai?”

“M… Mera irada?” Nidhi was already embarrassed at the mention of wedding and Armaan suddenly had put her on the spot with his question.

“Zindagi bhar is Ashutosh ke bachche ko boss bana kar jhelne ka irada hai kya tumhara?”

“Main kuchh samjhi nahin?”

“Okay. Imagine this. Tum log honeymoon par ho. Aur tumne kaha – ‘Sir. Mujhe aaj bahar nahin jaana hai. Hotel mein ruk sakte hain, please?’ To Ashutosh bolega – ‘No. Dr. Nidhi Verma. We must stick to our plan. Life mein discipline bahut zaroori hai.’ To ab apne boss ke saath to tum jhagda nahin kar sakti.”

Nidhi was going red in face hearing Armaan. Ashutosh put his hand on his forehead and laughed as if what was he to do about the silly conversation.

“Bas Karo Armaan,” Ashutosh said still laughing, “Kyon use pareshaan kar rahe ho?”

“Aha! Badi chinta ho rahi hai. Ya tumhara upper hand khatam ho jayega, isliye chinta ki disguise mein mujhe roka ja raha hai Ashutosh? Nidhi, iski chaalon mein mat phansna. Khair ab samjha kar kya fayda. Phans to tum already chuki ho. Lekin phir bhi, meri advice ka dhyaan rakhna. Sukhi rahogi.”

Nidhi had also overcome her embarrassment by then. She replied with slight laughter, “Ji. Dhyaan rakhoongi. Lekin Shakeshpeare kah gaye hain ki What is in a name.”

“Chhodo. Main bhi kahan tumhari bhalai karne nikla tha? Tum to iska hi saath dogi.”

—

“Waise Armaan theek hi kah raha tha,” they had gone to Ashutosh’ house after dinner and then he was dropping Nidhi home.

“Kya theek kah rahe the?”

“Tum mujhe kaise address karti ho – us baare mein.”

“Oh!”

“Tum mujhe Ashutosh kah kar bula sakti ho. Itna bura naam nahin hai.”

“Nahin. Main ye nahin kar sakti.”

“Kyon nahin?”

“Aise hi. Ab jo aadat pad gayi hai, so pad gayi hai.”

“Itna mushkil bhi nahin hai. Dr. Ashutosh se sirf Dr. hi drop karna hai.”

“Mujhse nahin hoga.”

They had pulled up in front of her home. She got down from the car quickly.

“Good night Dr. Ashutosh,” she said emphasizing ‘Dr.’ and ran away from there laughing. Ashutosh was also smiling as he drove away. Her stubbornness and naughtiness were charming.

—

“Hello everyone,” Nidhi entered the common room where other interns were sitting. She noticed that everyone suddenly fell silent, “Kya hua? Tum log aise chup kyon ho gaye?”

“Ab tu aa gayi na Nidhi. Ab bhala kissi aur ko bolne ki zaroorat kya hai?” Priyanka made an alibi.

“How mean Priyanka! Mujhe laga tha ki tu meri dost hai.”

“Dosti, dushmani ka kya hai Nidhi,” Kamal replied, “Kab dost dushman ho jaate hain, aur kab dushman dost – pata bhi nahin chalta.”

“Kya baat hai? Kissi ne dump kiya hai kya tumhein? Itni gyaan bhari baatein kar rahe ho Kamal?” Nidhi teased him.

“Nahin Nidhi Ma’am. Hamari zindagi itni interesting kahan hai. Dushman to dost aapki zindagi mein bante hain, nahin?”

“Shut up Kamal,” Priyanka intervened as Nidhi looked at them questioningly.

“Kya paheliyan bujha rahe ho tum log?” Nidhi asked.

“Kuchh nahin Nidhi. Ye aise hi teri taang kheench raha hai aur hamein bore kar raha hai,” it was Priyanka again, “Tu kuchh entertaining baatein kar na. Ye bata Dr. Rangnath aur Anji ke beech kya scene hai?”

“Badhiya hai sab kuchh.”

“Badhiya hai? That’s it. Arre kuchh gossip to suna.”

“Ji nahin. Doosron ki personal life ka gossip banana achchha nahin hota hai.”

“Kya baat hai? Tu badi sensitive ho rahi hai,” Sonali said, “Teri life mein bhi kuchh gossip-worthy chal raha hai kya?”

“Kya matlab?” Nidhi was startled, “Tum log aaj definitely pagal ho gaye ho. Mujhe apna dimaag nahin kharaab karna hai. Main ja rahi hoon.” Nidhi walked out of the room with an extra cup of tea.

“Dr. Ashutosh ke saath nahin piyegi to chai hajam kaise hogi,” she heard someone whisper when she was out of the door. She almost spilled the tea on hearing that. Were people talking about them already? And did they really think she was out of the hearing distance when they whispered that or did they want her to hear that?

In the ups and downs of last few days, she had hardly had time to think about others. Probably it had been going on for a while, but she was too busy with her life to notice it. She didn’t know how to react to it.

She walked into Ashutosh’ cabin with the tea, “Dr. Ashutosh….” She stopped in her tracks as Ashutosh was sitting with some other senior dotors and probably discussing some administrative issues. Everyone sitting there started staring at her.

“Yes. Dr. Nidhi?” Ashutosh asked in a curt tone.

“I… I am sorry. Main baad mein aati hoon,” she managed to say and went out.

—

After taking her rounds, Nidhi felt the need to stay alone for a while. So, she went on the terrace. But Priyanka came looking for her.

“Nidhi? Kya hua? Yahan akele kyon baithi hai?”

“Kuchh nahin Priyanka. Bas aise hi. Tu mujhe dhoondhte hue yahan aayi?”

“Haan Nidhi. Lekin…”

“Kya baat hai Priyanka?”

“Tera mood already kharaab hai. I think main baad mein baat karti hoon.”

“Tu aisi paheli bujha kar phir mujhe poori baat nahin batayegi to main peacefully baithi rahungi kya? Bata na Priyanka. Dara mat mujhe.”

“Nidhi. Main… Dekh Nidhi bura mat manna. Teri bhalai ke liye hi bol rahi hoon.”

“Priyanka. Dekh. Mera mood already kharaab hai. Ab tu aur nakhre karegi na to main ro doongi.”

“Tere aur Dr. Ashutosh ko lekar rumours fail rahe hain hospital mein.”

“Kya?”

“Tu recently Baba ko lekar pareshaan thi, shayad tera dhyaan nahin gaya hoga. Lekin tera aur Dr. Ashutosh ka milna julna bahut badh gaya hai. To…”

“To isse logon ko kya matlab hai Priyanka?”

“Well… Nidhi. Waise to hum sab dost hain, lekin ek tarah se dekhein to competitors bhi to hain na. Kiska review kaisa hoga, kise recommendation milegi aage job ya studies ke liye, sabko ye chinta khaye rahti hai. Aur Dr. Ashutosh hamare boss hain. To tu thoda dhyaan rakh. Log kaafee mean baatein kar rahe hain.”

“Mean?”

“Yeah… I mean… ki tu unse favours lene ke badle…”

Nidhi was horrified!

“Priyanka. I don’t understand this. Meri baat chhod… Dr. Ashutosh ki professional reputation to sabko pata hai… Phir…”

“Nidhi. Ab logon ke kahne ka jawaab to main nahin de sakti. Main to bas tujhe bata dena chahti thi so that you are not caught unawares. Baaki sab tujh par hai. Ya to thodee sawdhaani barat, ya phir agar log kuchh kahein bhi to un sab par dhyaan mat de.”

Nidhi sighed, “Thanks Priyanka. Tu to…”

“Main tujhe jaanti hoon Nidhi. Don’t worry.”

Nidhi smiled.

“Achchha. Main chalti hoon. Ek patient ki report lani hai lab se,” Priyanka said and left.

Nidhi’s mobile rang after Priyanka left. It was Ashutosh. She picked it up, but before she could even greet him, he spoke, “Nidhi.”

“Ji?”

“Ye kaisi harqat ki tumne aaj? Mere office mein din mein log aate jaate rahte hain, itna to tumhein pata hai na. Kam se kam knock to kar ke aati!”

Nidhi’s already down spirit practically died.

“Kissi ne kuchh kaha kya?”

“Kaha nahin. Lekin ye sab…”

“I am sorry,” Nidhi was on the verge of crying and Ashutosh felt that in her voice. He regretted his rashness in scolding her.

“Nidhi…” he softened, “No. Listen. I am sorry. Please tum itna pareshaan mat ho. Mujhe aise nahin daantna chahiye tha tumhein. Suno. Tum kahan ho?”

“Terrace par.”

“Main abhi aata hoon.”

“Nahin…”

“Kyon? Kya hua?”

“Aise hi. Mujhe abhi ward mein wapas jaana hai.”

“Tumhari duty kab khatam ho rahi hai?”

“Ek ghante mein.”

“Theek hai. Phir canteen mein milte hain.”

“Actually… agar aap free hain to bahar mil sakte hain.”

“Umm… haan… kahan chalna hai?”

“Main Royal Cafe mein rahungi 6.30 par. Aap wahin aa jaiye.”

“Saath hi chalte hain.”

“Nahin.”

Ashutosh was puzzled, but agreed.

—

“Naaraaz ho mujhse?” Ashutosh asked as he sat opposite Nidhi in the cafe.

“Naaraaz? Nahin to!”

“Phir saath mein kyon nahin aayi?”

Nidhi stayed silent.

“Kya hua Nidhi? Kissi ne kuchh kaha hai?”

“Meri wajah se aaj aapko embarrass hona pada apne colleagues ke saamne…”

“Bhool jao Nidhi. Koi itni badi baat nahin hai. Aage se dhyaan rakhenge. Bas.”

“Haan.”

“Koi aur baat hai. Batao mujhe. Come on!”

“Main kabhi nahin chahungi ki meri wajah se aapki reputation ko koi nuksaan ho.”

“Lekin aisa hoga kyon?”

“Ho raha hai… already…”

“Kya bol rahi ho Nidhi?”

“Log baatein bana rahe hain Dr. Ashutosh. Hamare baare mein… Aur…”

Ashutosh laughed slightly, “Usse dar rahi ho tum? Well… ye to hona hi hai. Aaj nahin to kal.”

“Baat woh nahin hai. Ab main aapko kaise bataun,” Nidhi felt irritated at her inability to speak out the horrible thing Priyanka had told her about.

“Kya baat hai Nidhi? Kissi ne kuchh kaha hai?” Ashutosh asked patiently.

“Doosre interns or shayad aur staff ko lagta hai ki aap mujhe favour kar rahe hain, ya karenge. Aur main aapke favours ke badle…” she fell silent.

Ashutosh grew serious and looked thoughtful. It worried Nidhi. “Ab hum kya karenge?” she was agitated and felt scared for the future of their relationship.

“Calm down, Nidhi. Koi aasmaan nahin fat pada hai.”

“Okay,” she said with a childlike innocence, relieved that he wasn’t that worried and might have a solution. It made Ashutosh smile with affection.

“Mujhe pahle hi sochna chahiye tha is baare mein. Lekin kya karoon? Main bhi thoda inexperienced hoon,” Ashutosh joked.

“Inexperienced? Kyon? Mujhse pahle bhi to aapki zindagi mein koi aaya hoga?” Nidhi asked matter of factly.

Ashutosh laughed out loud, “No. Dr. Nidhi.”

Nidhi’s eyes widened in surprise. She had assumed that he would have had a relationship in past, “Really?”

“Really Nidhi. Shayad yakeen karna mushkil hai, lekin main sach kah raha hoon. Trust me.”

“Of course, I trust you,” Nidhi said and then blushed thinking about what this meant for their relationship and how special she must be for him.

“Okay. Coming back to the problem jisne meri chatterbox ko itna dukhi kar diya hai…” Nidhi pouted at being called chatterbox and Ashutosh laughed again. Then he continued, “Dekho Nidhi. Itna pareshaan hone ki zaroorat nahin hai. Humne pahle dhyaan nahin rakha. Lekin aage se dhyaan rakhenge. Hospital mein apne behaviour ko lekar. Let’s maintain a distance and keep it professional there. Okay?”

Nidhi nodded.

“Chalo. Ab coffee order karein?”

“Ji,” Nidhi said and Ashutosh saw that the brightness in her eyes were back. He smiled in satisfaction. They will work things out.

“Waise hamein Dr. Rangnath se bhi baat karni hogi,” Nidhi said while sipping her coffee.

“Kis baare mein?”

“Mujhe lagta hai ki woh meri duty aapke saath kuchh zyada hi lagate hain.”

“Hmm… Dr. Rangnath bhi… Theek hai. Main… baat karoonga unse…” Ashutosh said, but Nidhi could see that he was uncomfortable at the idea.

“Actually aap rahne dijiye. Main kar loongi.”

“K… kyon?”

“Aise hi. Aapka bolna theek nahin hoga.”

“Achchha? Kyon?” Ashutosh understood what she was trying to say, but asked just to tease her.

“Isliye ki… Bas aise hi. Aap aap hain,” Nidhi again couldn’t figure out how to say it and got irritated. She did not want him to risk his reputation and hold on his subordinates by discussing personal matters with them.

“Okay, okay. Ab phir se apna mood mat kharaab karo. Main bas tumhari taang kheench raha tha.”

“Zyada mat kheenchiye, warna main aapse lambi ho jaungi.”

“Haan?!” Ashutosh was surprised and then laughed out loud. Nidhi also joined him.

—

To be continued

Baba had a heart attack. It was a minor one and things were in control. But Nidhi was shattered. As soon as she was allowed in his room, she had run inside and refused to come out. Ashutosh checked with the cardiologist and confirmed that there was no danger. An emergency case had come in and Ashutosh had to rush to attend that. He asked Anji to take care of Nidhi.

The emergency case was that of the accident of a minister’s eight years old son and was blown out of proportion. Apart from handling the medical emergency, Ashutosh also had to take care of the security arrangements and the media. He returned after five hours and saw Anji pacing up and down in the corridor.

“Kya hua Anji? Sab theek to hai?” she clearly looked worried.

“Achchha hua aap aa gaye Dr. Ashutosh. Nidhi ki…”

“Kya hua Nidhi ko?”

“Woh tab se Baba ke paas baithi ro rahi hai. Na kuchh khaya hai, na piya hai. Wahan se hilne ka naam hi nahin le rahi. Dr. Gupta ne to kaha hai ki yahan kissi ke rukne ki bhi zaroorat nahin hai. Lekin woh maan hi nahin rahi hai.”

“Main dekhta hoon.”

Ashutosh went inside the room and saw Nidhi sitting exactly how Anji had described to him. He gently patted her shoulder. She looked at him, but turned back and started staring at Baba again. Seeing her tear stained face tore his heart. Why were so many things going wrong in her life? One had hardly been sorted, when the other problem came up.

He whispered so as not to disturb Baba, “Bahar chalo Nidhi.”

She nodded negatively.

“Please. Tumse baat karni hai.”

She got up and followed him.

“Ye kya halat bana rakhi hai tumne apni? Tum khud doctor ho. Itna to samajhti ho ki agar tum khud beemaar pad gayi to Baba ki dekh bhaal kaun karega?”

“Mujhe kuchh nahin hoga,” Nidhi said stubbornly.

“Nahin. Tumhein kyon kuchh hoga? Tum to super woman ho na,” Ashutosh paused before continuing, “Look Nidhi. Maine Dr. Gupta se baat ki hai. Minor heart attack tha. Ab koi khatra nahin hai. Tum ghar ja sakti ho. Kal aa jaana.”

“Main Baba ko aise chhod kar nahin ja sakti.”

“He is under sedatives. So rahe hain aaraam se. Tum yahan ruk kar kya karogi?”

She did not reply.

“Nidhi. Tumhein mujh par zara bhi bharosa hai ki nahin? Main tumse kuchh galat to nahin kahunga na?”

She nodded in agreement.

“Tumne jo ye apna haal bana rakha hai, usse sab kitne pareshaan hain tumhein pata bhi hai? Anji tumhari wajah se yahan se hil nahin rahi hai. Uske parents pareshaan hain. Dadi Bua pareshaan hain. Isse kya fayda hai? Meri baat maano. Abhi ghar chalo aur aaraam kar lo. Subah apna achchha sa, hansta hua chehra le kar Baba ke saamne aana. Tumhari aisi thaki hui, roni shakal dekhenge to usse unki tabiyat aur kharaab ho jayegi. Samjhi?”

She nodded and followed him.

—

Anji got coffee for all of them at home.

“Baba ke ghar aane ke baad mujhe chhutti chahiye hogi. Kam se kam ek-do mahine ki.”

“Kyon?” Ashutosh asked.

“Main apni zindagi mein aisi mashgool ho gayi thi ki mujhe Baba ka dhyaan hi nahin raha. Pata nahin kab unki tabiyat itni kharaab ho gayi aur ye halat ho gayi. Unhein meri zaroorat hai. Kam se kam do mahine tak main unke saath rahungi aur unhein koi kaam nahin karne doongi. Pata nahin kitna stress lete hain.”

“Tum zyada se zyada ek hafte ki chhutti logi, aur kuchh nahin.”

“Kyon?”

“Kyonki Baba se zyada tumhare patients ko tumhari zaroorat hai. Nidhi – ye minor sa heart attack tha. Ek hafte mein woh bilkul fit ho jayenge. Aur waise bhi yana unka dhyaan rakhne ke liye aur log hain. Tum bhi alternate days ghar par rahogi. Phir kya problem hai?”

Nidhi spoke after a while, “Aap shayad theek kah rahe hain. I am sorry. Main bhi kabhi kabhi bachchon jaisi harquatein karti hoon.”

“That’s not a problem,” Ashutosh smiled affectionately, “I love kids.”

—

“Aao Nidhi. Baba ko hosh aa gaya hai,” Ashutosh was already in the hospital when Nidhi reached here.

“Aap poori raat yahin the?”

“N… nahin to. Main bas abhi aaya hoon.”

“Jhooth bolne ki umra chali gayi hai aapki Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi said making him smile.

“Achchha baba. Main pakda gaya. Ab jao Baba se mil lo.”

“Ji.”

—

An acquantance of Yograj Verma had come from Canada and had given him the proposal of exporting clothes to a big Canadian retail chain. It was too big an order for his company, but at that person’s insistence, he had taken up the project. He had to take a loan from the bank for this. Later it turned out that the person had cheated. He had sold off the clothes in the local market and had gone back to Canada with the money. No payment ever reached Yograj Verma.

Baba’s manager told Nidhi the entire story, “Woh aapko nahin batana chahte the beta. Lekin abhi unki ye halat hai to kissi ko to kuchh karna hi padega na. Bank ke paas bhi ye khabar pahunch gayi ki unhein paise nahin milne waale hain. To unhone bhi notice bhej diya. Us dhokhe se to woh pahle hi shock mein the. Ab ek mahine ke andar bank bhi loan ka disbursed amount wapas chahta hai. Jab bank manager ka call aaya, usi ke baad unki tabiyat kharaab ho gayi.”

“Kitna amount hai loan ka?”

“Ek crore.”

“Ek crore,” Nidhi’s eyes widened in shock. How will she ever arrange for that money?

Ashutosh was sitting beside Nidhi as she heard the entire story. Nidhi said after manager had left, “Baba ki life style bahut healthy hai aur unka regular check up bhi hota tha. Mujhe pata tha ki koi aur hi baat hui hogi jo unhein heart attack aaya hoga. Ab itne paison ka intezaam kahan se hoga?”

“Nidhi. Tum uski chinta mat karo. Amount bada hai, lekin main intezaam kar sakta hoon…”

“Nahin. Baba iske liye kabhi nahin maanenge.”

“Nidhi…” he started to insist, but realized that not only Baba’s, but her own self respect also meant a lot to her. So, he changed his reasoning, “Nidhi. Tumhein yaad hoga ki Baba ke ghar ke liye maine tumhein isse zyada ka offer diya tha. Tum woh ghar mujhe bech do.”

“Kaisi baatein kar rahe hain aap? Woh ghar aapka hai. Main uske liye aapse paise kaise le sakti hoon?”

“Tum ye kaisi baat kar rahi ho Nidhi. Woh ghar Baba ne tumhein diya tha. Pyaar se. Unhein is baat ka dukh tha ki woh apni beti ke liye kuchh kar nahin paye. Ab agar is museebat ke samay mein unka diya hua ghar tumhare kaam aa jaye to shayad unki aatma ko shanti milegi.”

“Aap bahut intelligent hain. Achchhi reasoning kar lete hain. Lekin woh ghar main pahle hi aapke naam kar chuki hoon. Bas registrar ke paas jaana hai. Main uske liye paise nahin le sakti aapse.”

“Nidhi. Ya to apna samjho. Ya gair samjho. Agar apna samajhti ho to mujhe madad karne do. Agar gair samajhti ho to ghar bech do.”

Nidhi sighed, “Theek hai. Agar koi aur intezaam nahin ho paya to jo aap kahenge wahi karoongi. Lekin mujhe koshish kar lene dijiye. Please.”

“Theek hai. Lekin tum apna khayaal rakhogi aur iske liye chinta kar ke ke apni tabiyat kharaab nahin karogi.”

“Promise.”

—

“Koi intezaam hua Nidhi paison ka?”

“Ji. Dadi Bua ne bataya ki Mummy ke gahne locker mein rakhe hain. Dadi ke diye hue the. Unhein bech kar kuchh paison ka intezaam to ho hi jayega.”

“Tum apne khaandaani gahne bechne waali ho?” Ashutosh asked in disbelief.

“Aise bhi khaandaani nahin hain. Dadi ne Mummy ke liye hi banwaye the. Phir ban jayenge. Main kaun sa unhein pahanne waali hoon. Purane style ke honge.”

“Lekin… Achchha theek hai. Tum market mein uska price pata karwa lo. Lekin bechna mat. Meri jaan pahchaan mein hai koi. Wahan se shayad better valuation mil jaye.”

Nidhi thought for a moment and said, “Theek hai.”

—

“Ab kaisi tabiyat hai aapki?” Ashutosh was visiting Baba at home.

“Itne saare doctors ke aas paas rahte mere dil ki kya mazaal jo kuchh idhar udhar kar jaye.”

Ashutosh laughed as Baba continued, “Waise thoda tadap zaroor raha tha ye?”

“Kyon bhala?” Ashutosh was still smiling.

“Tumhein thanks bolne ke liye.”

“Mujhe thanks kyon?”

“Paison ke intezaam ke liye…”

“Usmein maine kya kiya. Gahne aapke the.”

“Sawa crore ke the?”

“Ji. Uski pahchaan to mujhe nahin hai,” Ashutosh laughed nervously, “Jo daam mujhe bataya gaya woh maine Nidhi ko dilwa diya.”

“Ye bhi theek hai. Lo bhai. Nidhi ki coffee aa gayi. Waise aaj kal chai bhi banane lagi hai. Improvement hai tumhari sangati mein rah kar. Bua bahut khush hain.”

Ashutosh and Nidhi looked at each other nervously. Ashutosh knew that Baba was aware of the tension house issue had created beetween them. Nidhi didn’t know even that. And Ashutosh wondered if Baba knew more than that. About their relationship? What else could that remark mean?

—

To be continued

Ashutosh slumped back on an arm-chair kept in the garden. Armaan had already come back. He joined him.

“Ashutosh?”

“Armaan. Tumne kaha tha na ki WHO ke Mumbai center mein ek vacancy hai. Aur woh mere liye sahi rahegi. Kya woh position abhi bhi available hai.”

“Haan hai to. Par kyon?”

“I want to take that up?”

“Ashutosh?”

“Kuchh mat poochhna Armaan. Main kal hi sabbatical ke liye apply kar doonga. Milne mein problem nahin hogi. Within a month, I can join.”

“Professionally it will be great for you Ashutosh. Aur main to hamehsa se chahta tha ki tum hamein join karo. Lekin tab mujhe pata nahin tha ki personally…”

“There is no personal life for me look forward to Armaan. Mera yahan se chale jaana hi achchha hai. Mere liye bhi. Doosron ke liye bhi.”

“Nidhi se koi baat hui?”

“Haan.”

“Kya kaha usne?”

“Woh bhi mujhse door jaana chahti hai. Aur kyon na jaana chahe? Itni nafrat kaun bardasht kar sakta hai. Main thodee der akele rahna chahta hoon Armaan.”

Armaan, though worried, left him alone.

Her words were echoing in her mind, “Aapne kabhi ye samjha Dr. Ashutosh ki aapko woh mila jo meri Mummy se chheen liya gaya tha. Apne Baba ka pyaar… Humne to kabhi unse nafrat nahin ki Dr. Ashutosh. Kabhi aapse nafrat nahin ki iske liye ki jo pyaar hamara tha, woh aapko mila. Main nahin kar sakti Nana se ya aapse nafrat. Kyonki mere liye pyaar zyada badi cheez hai…”

The girl whom he was accusing of inexperience was probably more mature than himself. She had love in her heart and tolerance in her nature. She still didn’t hate him and he? Armaan was right. He has killed his happiness at his own hands. And worse still, hers too. He didn’t deserve her. And she deserved better than him.

—

Nidhi received the call, heard what Armaan was saying and then disconnected without saying a word.

“Kya hua Nidhi?” Anji asked worried.

“Kuchh nahin,” Nidhi tried to appear non-chalant, “Dr. Ashutosh Mumbai mein WHO ka office join kar rahe hain. Yahan se ja rahe hain.”

“Kya? To tu unhein rok Nidhi.”

“Main kyon rokoon unhein Anji? Mere haathon mein hamare rishte ka faisla nahin hai.”

“Nidhi. Ye koi ego battle ka time nahin hai. Tu unse pyaar karti hai.”

“Haan. Main chah kar bhi nafrat nahin kar sakti. Lekin unke liye unki nafrat pyaar se badi hai. Jaise Nana ki liya apni ghoomne phirne ki azaadi apni beti ke pyaar se badi thi. Aur mera self-respect mujhe unki nafrat nahin jhelne dega Anji. Apne pyaar ke liye main apne swaabhimaan ka khoon nahin kar sakti.”

Nidhi and Anji were unaware of Baba overhearing their conversation.

—

Yograj Verma had known for a while. His daughter’s life and feelings had always been transparent to him. She had not realized, but her changing feelings for Dr. Ashutosh had been noticed by him. He didn’t want to interfere until she told him. But now the bomb had dropped. He had his duties as a father to at least try and set things right for her.

“Dr. Ashutosh. Main tumhein disturb to nahin kar raha.”

“Arre aap? Aaiye na. Please,” Ashutosh welcomed him.

“Main idhar se ja raha tha. Socha tumse milta chaloon.”

“Ji bahut achchha kiya. Main theek hone ke baad kaam mein thoda busy ho gaya, isliye aa nahin paya.”

“Nahin. Kaam mein busy hona to tumhari problem nahin thi.”

“Ji?”

“Nidhi ne to apne purane rishton ko kabhi jaana nahin. Unse use koi matlab nahin tha. Na hi use us ghar se emotionally ya monetarily koi lagaav tha. To maine socha…”

“Nidhi se aapse kaha…” Ashutosh interrupted him.

“Nahin,” Baba laughed slightly, “Badi ho gayi hai na. Ab apni pareshaaniyan nahin batati mujhe.”

“To aapko pahle se pata tha.”

“Haan. Kaafi pahle se.”

“Aapne kabhi bataya kyon nahin?”

“Bata sakta tha. Lekin maine socha ki apne issues tum log khud hi solve karo to behtar hoga. Purane rishton se naye rishte tootate hain ya bante hain, ye ab tum logon ke haath mein hai. Mujhe nahin pata ki Mathur Sahab ke man mein kya tha, jo woh aisa kar gaye. Shayad woh apne do parivaaron ko kareeb laana chahte ho.”

Ashutosh didn’t look at him. He was overwhelmed with guilt.

“Chalo main chalta hoon. Ghar par aana kabhi.”

“Ji,” Ashutish barely managed to say.

“Nahin. Main intezaar karoonga,” Baba said and got up to leave. Ashutosh saw him off till the hospital gate in silence.

—

Nidhi drove to the house. She parked the car outside the gate and got down to unlock it. She was surprised to find it unlocked. She walked in. Who had come here? Dr. Ashutosh? Only he had the key. She suddenly saw him standing in the garden. He smiled at her and held his hands out for her. She reached out to him and he disappered. She had been hallucinating! ‘Nidhi. Sambhaal apne aap ko. Tu yahan aayi hi kyon?’ she told herself. But continued walking in.

And then she saw him again. Standing on the Veranda. She was hallucinating again! She walked past him, only to feel someone holding her hands.

“Aap? Aap sach much yahan hain?”

“Pichhle check up mein aapki aankhein to bilkul theek thi Dr. Nidhi,” Ashutosh said.

Nidhi was reminded on the episode, when Ashutosh had called in the eye-surgeon and asked him to check her eyes. She ended up smiling, but sadly.

“Ya shayad jab main nahin tha, tab bhi tumhein dikh raha tha? Hallucinate kar rahi thi?”

Her smiled vanished and she did not reply. Ashutosh spoke again, “Nafrat nahin kar sakti, itna pyaar karti ho. Phir Armaan ke phone ke bawzood mujhe rokne kyon nahin aayi?”

“Aapke kahne par kiya tha unhone phone?”

“Nahin. Kiya to usne apni marzi se kiya tha. Mujhse chhip kar. Lekin maine sun liya tha. Kyon nahin aayi Nidhi?”

“Mere pyaar mein itni taakat nahin thi ki aapki nafrat ko khatam kar sakta.”

“Under-estimate kiya tumne khud ko.”

Nidhi looked up at him with childlike, pleading eyes, “Paheliyan mat bujhaiye. Aapne jo bhi faisla liya hai, mujhe saaf saaf bataiye. Agar main kuchh galat samajh baithi aur koi jhoothi ummeed laga baithi to uske tootne par bahut roungi. Aap Mumbai jaa rahe hain? Mujhe chhod kar?”

“Main kahin nahin ja raha. Aur na hi tumhein kahin jaane doonga.”

Nidhi smiled, feeling overwhelmed. Tears came to her eyes and she did not try to stop them. Ashutosh’ eyes were also moist. Time stopped for them as they naturally lost themselves in each other’s embrace.

They separated when Nidhi’s mobile rang.

“Haan Anji.”

“Nidhi, kahan hai tu? Jaldi ghar aa.”

“Main thodii door hoon ghar se Anji. Kya baat hui hai?”

“Tu akeli hai wahan?”

“N.. nahin. Par kyon?”

“Kaun hai tere saath?”

“Dr. Ashutosh.”

“Phone de unhein.”

“Kya hua hai Anji.”

“Time nahin hai mere paas Nidhi. Phone de unhein.”

“Anji… aapse baat karna chah rahi hai,” she gave the phone to Ashutosh. Though surprised, he did not ask anything and took the call.

“Oh… Anji tum chinta mat karo. Hum abhi pahunch rahe hain. Haan… haan… unhein le jao. Hum pahunch rahe hain. Main Dr. Gupta ko phone kar deta hoon. He will take care.”

“Kya hua?” Nidhi asked after he disconnected the call.

“Nidhi. Baba ki tabiyat thodi kharaab hai. Unhein hospital le gaye hain. Hamein turat pahunchna padega.”

“Kya hua Baba ko? Dr. Gupta ko kyon phone kar rahe hain aap?” Nidhi panicked. Dr. Gupta was a cardiologist.

“Chalo abhi. Aise ghabraane se kuchh nahin hoga. Sab theek ho jayega.”

Ashutosh drove her back in his own car.

—

To be continued

“Is ghar mein maine sab kuchh khoya hai aur sab kuchh paaya hai Nidhi,” Ashutosh and Nidhi were standing in front of the house, “Baba ke jaane ke baad ye ghar hi mere liye unki aakhiri nishani tha. Lekin ye unhone apni us naatin ke naam kar diya jisse woh kabhi mile tak nahin. Aur jise bhi unke pyaar ki koi kadra nahin thi. Main nafrat karta hoon us ladki se Nidhi jiske paas ye ghar hai. Bahut zyada nafrat karta hoon.”

Nidhi was startled, “Nafrat? Kissi se bina mile usse itni nafrat kyon Dr. Ashutosh?”

“Kyon milta main usse? Woh ladki mere aur Baba ke beech mein aayi. Mujhe uski shakal tak nahin dekhni hai,” the anger and hatred on Ashutosh’ face and his voice scared Nidhi. She hadn’t come prepared for this. Ashutosh noticed her reaction.

“I am sorry Nidhi,” he said softly, “Main tumhein bekaar mein dara raha hoon…”

“Bekaar mein nahin,” Nidhi said sadly, “Main to aapko aapke Baba ka pyaar lautane aayi thi.” She unfolded a handkerchief she was carrying to reveal a set of keys.

“Ye ghar mere Nana ka hai,” she said finally and fell silent.

It was Ashutosh’ turn to be shocked. He stepped back in anger, disbelief and shock. He walked towards the car, opened the door to the passenger’s seat and sat on the driver’s seat. He waited for her to come to the car without saying a word. He drove so crazily that Nidhi was genuinely scared of getting into an accident. She looked at him time and again hoping to start a conversation. But the fury on his face and body language did not let her try. He dropped her home and drove away.

—

“Nidhi? Kya hua?” Anji was shocked to see a listless Nidhi walking into her room.

Nidhi sat down and sobbed for a long time. When she finally managed to talk and tell Anji what had happened. Anji was also shocked.

“Nahin Nidhi. Main nahin maanti ki woh tujhse nafrat karte hain.”

“Karte hain Anji. Bahut saalon se karte hain.”

“Woh koi aur ladki thi Nidhi. Jisse woh mile tak nahin the. Woh tujhse itna pyaar karte hain.”

“Jab maine unhein chaabhiyan di Anji, to mujhme unhein woh ladki nazar nahin aayi, jisse woh pyar karte hain aur jo unse bahut pyaar karti hai, jo unhein unki zindagi ki sabse important cheez gift karna chahti thi. Unhein woh ladki nazar aayi Anji jo unke aur unke baba ki us ghar ke beech mein itne saalon se khadi thi. Agar aisa nahin hota to woh mujhse kuchh to kahte, mujhe ek baar to rokte.”

“Dekh Nidhi. Woh is samay shock mein hain. Unhein thoda time de. Gusse mein insaan rationally nahin sochta hai. I’m sure jab woh ek baar thandhe dimaag se sochenge…”

“I hope teri baat sach ho Anji. Lekin jo nafrat aaj maine unki aankhon mein dekhi hai…”

“Nidhi. Tu mujhe promise kar ki tu unse ek baar baat karegi.”

“Theek hai Anji.”

—

Ashutosh reached home. As he was about to get out of his car, he noticed the house keys lying on the passenger’s seat. She had left it for him. Or forgot it. He couldn’t help picking them up. But when he looked at them in his room, they only increased his anger. He took those heavy keys and threw them at the mirror with all the strength he had. The mirror broke and made so much noise that Kaka, Armaan and Rohini came running to his room.

“Kya hua Ashuotsh?” Armaan and Kaka asked in chorus.

Then they looked at the mirror and ran towards him. He was sitting on the bed with his face hidden buried in his hands. The were all confused for a moment. Then Armaan silently asked Kaka and Rohini to step out. They obliged.

Armaan sat down beside him and patted his shoulder, “Kya hua Ashutosh?”

“Baba ka woh ghar Nidhi ke paas hai Armaan.”

“Kya?” Armaan was shocked at first. Then he smiled, “Ye to bahut achchhi baat hai. Saari problem aap hi solve ho gayi. Ab woh ghar to tujhe dahej mein hi wapas mil jayega.” Armaan laughed.

“Stop it Armaan,” Ashutosh shouted.

“Tum itne gusse mein kyon ho?”

“Tumhein pata hai Armaan ki main nafrat karta hoon us ladki se?”

“What?! I mean, haan mujhe pata hai. Lekin Ashutosh maine tumse pahle bhi kaha tha ki kissi ko bina dekhe, bina jaane ye nafrat paal lena bewkoofi hai. Aur ab? Ab to tum bhi jaante ho ki tum usse pyaar karte ho. Nidhi jaisi ladki se tum nafrat kaise kar sakte ho Ashutosh?”

“Rahne do Armaan. Tum nahin samjhoge.”

“You are right. Main ye bewkoofi kabhi nahin samjhoonga. Aur tumne Nidhi ko bhi bata diya hoga ki tum usse nafrat karte ho. Wonderful! Ab kabhi apni kismat ko dosh mat dena ki woh tumse khushiyan chheen leti hai. Khushiyan tumhare darwaze par knock hi nahin kar rahi thi, ghar ke andar tak pahunch chuki thi Ashutosh aur tumne unhein bhaga diya hai.”

“Leave me alone Armaan. Plesae.”

Armaan left exasperated.

—

They had to go for the survey of the health facilities in the nearby villages the next day. The meeting for the final planning and work division was organized at Dr. Kotnis General Hospital, which all the team members from different hospitals had to attend. After the meeting, when they broke for tea, Armaan took Nidhi aside.

“Kaisi ho tum Nidhi?”

“Theek hoon.”

“Theek nahin ho, ye to main dekh sakta hoon. And I am sorry agar main tumhare zakhm kured raha hoon. Lekin shayad apne dost ke liye selfish ho gaya hoon.”

When Nidhi didn’t say anything, Armaan continued, “Kya tum meri request par ek baar Ashutosh se baat karogi? Please. Jo woh apni khushiyon ka yun apne haathon se gala ghot raha hai woh mujhse dekha nahin jaata.”

“Shayad nafrat mein hi unhein khushi milti hai Dr. Armaan.”

“I hope not Nidhi. For his sake, I hope not. Please ek baar usse baat karo. Tumhare baat karne se hi mujhe koi ummeed hai. Aur kissi ki to…”

“Theek hai. Karoongi.”

—

Nidhi knocked on the door of Ashutosh’ office. He could make out her silhoutte and did not reply. She knocked again and on not receiving a reply came in without waiting further. She kept a cup of tea on his table.

“Dr. Ashutosh. Aapse kuchh baat karni thi.”

“Mujhe abhi ek meeting mein jaana hai.”

“Main baad mein aa jaun?”

“Dr. Verma. Mujhe aapse koi baat nahin karni hai. Na abhi, na kabhi aur.”

Her cheeks reddened at the insult. She turned away to leave.

“Suniye.”

“Ji?”

“Ye chai le jaiye. Mujhe zaroorat nahin hai.”

It brought tears to her eyes and she ran out of the room to hide them.

Behind her, Ashutosh buried his face in his hands. He was unable to think straight. He wanted to destroy the entire world.

—

“There is a small change in the plan,” Armaan announced when everyone met for the visit to the villages, “Humne pahle socha tha ki do groups mein divide kar ke survey kar lenge. Lekin maine yahan ek gaon se sarpanch se baat ki hai. Unhone travel time ka jo idea diya hai, uske hisaab se do groups se kaam khatam ho nahin payega. To hum aath log chaar groups mein bant jaate hain. Mere saath mere WHO ke colleague Mr. Ramachandran hain. Iske alawa teen hospitals se do-do log hain. To aap log apne colleagues ke saath ek-ek area cover kar lein. Ye hai revised area coverage plan. Har group ke saath ek local volunteer hai. To aap logon ko jagahein dhoondhne mein pareshaani nahin hogi.”

Ashutosh and Nidhi stiffened at the announcement. Spending the entire day with each other? Ashutosh glared at Armaan, but he ignored him.

—

For most part of the day the volunteer was with them. That helped avoid the awkwardness. They spoke only when needed. After finishing the last village, the volunteer explained them the way back to the main road where their car was parked and took their leave. They had to walk a couple of kilometers to reach there. Nidhi was tired.

“Aap thak gayi hain. Apne instruments mujhe de dijiye,” Ashutosh said.

“Main theek hoon. Mujhe aapki madad ki koi zaroorat nahin hai.”

After they had kept their stuff in the car, Nidhi silently handed an envelop to Ashutosh.

“Ye kya hai?”

“Mera resignation.”

“Kya?” Ashtosh was shcoked, “Kyon?”

“I don’t owe you an explanation.”

“Yes, you do!” Ashutosh was agitated.

“Kyon?”

“Kyonki… Kyonki main aapka boss hoon. You career is my moral responsibility. Aap aise internship se resign kar dengi to… you won’t even complete your MBBS. Your career will be finished.”

“Aapko iski chinta karne ki zaroorat nahin hai.”

“Lekin tumhein mujhe batane ki zaroorat hai. Kyon resign kar rahi ho?”

“Aap sach sunna chahte hain ya jhooth?”

“Sach, of course.”

“To meri doctor banne ki motivation khatam ho gayi hai.”

“Tum personal aur professional life ko mix kar rahi ho.”

“Kyon na karoon?” Nidhi burst out, “Kyon na karoon main? Main to kabhi doctor nahin banna chahti thi. Baba ne zabardasti ki thi. Lekin phir jab mere saamne choice thi to maine doctor banna choose kiya. Kyonki main aapko idealize karne lagi thi. Aapki tarah banna chahti thi. Logon ki care karna chahti thi. Lekin ab mujhe mahsoos ho gaya hai ki maine galat kiya tha.”

“Nidhi…”

“Maine aap me woh insaan dekha tha jo apne patients ki itni care karta tha, apne under kaam karne waale interns ko achchha doctor banana chahta tha. Isliye main bhi aapki tarah banna chahti thi. Lekin mujhe pata chal gaya hai ki main kitni galat thi. Aapke andar to itni nafrat bhari hui hai ki aapko pyaar, care kuchh dikhta hi nahin hai. Main apne andar nafrat nahin bharna chahti. Aap mujhse nafrat kar ke khush hain, to yahi sahi. Main aapki khushi chahti hoon. Lekin I refuse to accept your hatred. I refuse to reciprocate it. I refuse to be like you. Mujhe aapki tarah nahin banna hai Dr. Ashutosh. Mujhe doctor nahin banna hai.”

“Tumne zindagi nahin dekhi hai Nidhi. Tumhare ander itna experience nahin hai ki tum meri nafrat ko samajh sako. Jab zindagi mein koi itni kareebi cheez chhin jaati hai to kya mahsoos hota hai ye tum nahin samjhogi.”

“Aapne kabhi ye samjha Dr. Ashutosh ki aapko woh mila jo meri Mummy se chheen liya gaya tha. Apne Baba ka pyaar. Zindagi bhar woh apne pahle aath saalon ki yaad se apne Baba ki kami poori karne ki koshish karti rahi. Unke shauk ko, music ko, gardening ko apna kar apne Baba ko apne kareeb mahsoos karne ki koshish karti rahi. Doctor banne ka jo sapna unke Baba ne unhein dikhaya tha, woh khud poora nahin kar payi to mere through poora karne ki koshish karti rahi. Mere baba ki aur meri zindagi bhi us sapne ke hawaale ho gayi. Humne to kabhi unse nafrat nahin ki Dr. Ashutosh. Kabhi aapse nafrat nahin ki iske liye ki jo pyaar hamara tha, woh aapko mila. Main nahin kar sakti Nana se ya aapse nafrat. Kyonki mere liye pyaar zyada badi cheez hai. Aur aap kisliye sazaa de rahe hain mujhe? Isliye ki ek insaan ke marte samay apni beti ko yaad kiya? No Dr. Ashutosh. This is not right. And I don’t want to be like you.”

Ashutosh was stunned and speechless. He didn’t utter a single word and silently sat in the car. Nidhi took the passenger’s seat.

They drove back in silence. When they pulled up in front of her house, Ashutosh finally said, “Tumhein resign karne ki koi zaroorat nahin hai. Tumhein mujhse door rahna hai, uska intezaam main kar doonga.”

—

To be continued

“Aaiye Dr. Nidhi. Bahut achchhe samay par aayi hain aap. Main aur Ashutosh kuchh kaam ki baatein discuss kar rahe the. Aap bhi join kijiye,” Dr. Armaan said when Nidhi joined them in the evening.

“To aapne bilkul galat kaha tha ki aap apne dost ki tarah workohalic nahin hain. Aap to unse bhi zyada bure hain. Apne beemaar dost se kaam ki baatein karte sharm nahin aati aapko?” Nidhi chided him pleasantly.

“Ashutosh. Ye tumhari intern hai ya body guard?” Armaan also quipped and they all laughed.

“Baithiye Dr. Nidhi,” Ashutosh said, “Abhi ke kissi kaam ki baat nahin ho rahi. Do hafte baad hai.”

“Achchha. Kya kaam hai?”

“Armaan ko aas paas ke gaon mein ek survey karna hai exisitng health facilities ka aur saath mein ek mini health camp bhi lagana hai jahan gaon waalon ka check up ho sake.”

“Interesting.”

“To hamein kuchh 7-8 logon ke team ki zaroorat hogi. Aap bhi join karna chahengi?”

“Zaroor. Ye to bahut achchha mauka hai.”

“Nahin Nidhi. It will be very tiring for you. Yahan ke villages ka infrastructure is nothing to be proud about. Pata nahin har jagah gaadi bhi jayegi ya nahin. Aur…”

“Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi interrupted, “Main aise bhi chhui mui nahin hoon. Utna kar sakti hoon.”

“Sure?”

“Ji!”

Ashutosh smiled appreciatively.

“Theek hai Ashutosh. Tum log baatein karo. Main planning poori karta hoon. Doosre hospitals se bhi dekhta hoon kaun kaun join karega. Bye Dr. Nidhi.”

“Bye Dr. Armaan.”

—

“So, tumhara din kaisa raha?”

“Th… Theek tha. Koi bhi critical case nahin tha.”

After she was left alone with Ashutosh, her nervousness had returned, her heart was racing and she was feeling clueless about what to do and how to behave. It reflected on her countenance and Ashutosh saw her fidgeting. He laughed slightly.

“Kya hua?” Nidhi asked.

“Tumhari halat dekh kar hansi aa rahi hai.”

“Meri halat ko kya hua hai?”

“Armaan ke saamne, ya Kaka ke saamne to ekdum confident chatterbox bani hui thi. Ab kya hua?”

“Kya matlab? K… Kuchh nahin hua. Haan. Aap apna laptop dijiye.”

“Kyon?”

“Photographs transfer karni hain. Maine flower vase ki li thi subah. Lekin aap kamre mein nahin the aur aapka password nahin pata tha. To transfer nahin kar payi.”

“Achchha. Ye lo.”

“Password to daaliye.”

“baba_ki_nishani”

“Ji?”

“Password.”

“Ye aapka password hai?”

“Haan Dr. Nidhi. Meri duniya uske chaaron or ghoomti hai. Jab tak woh mujhe mil nahin jayegi, tab tak mujhe lagta hai jaise ki meri zindagi usi pal mein atki rahegi jab Baba ki death hui thi aur main toot gaya tha. Bewkoofi hai na?”

“Mujhe to bewkoofi nahin lagti.”

“Kyon? Kya aapne kabhi aisi harqat khud bhi ki hai?”

“Nahin. Main to past par dwell nahin karti. Ya shayad mere past mein kuchh itna significant hai hi nahin. Mummy ka kuchh yaad hi nahin hai. Lekin aap different hain.”

“Aur usse tumhein koi problem nahin hai.”

“Problem? Problem kyon hogi. Agar duniya mein sab log mere jaise ho jaate to kissi patient ki jaan nahin bachti. Achchha hi hai ki aap mere jaise nahin hain.”

That made Ashutosh laugh. Nidhi also joined him. Her nervousness had subsided. She transferred the photographs and showed those to him.

“Bahut achchhi aayi hain.”

“Aap to aise hi appreciate kar rahe hain. Abhi kissi photography community par online upload karoongi to log iski dhajjiyan uda denge.”

“Isse mujhe kya farq padta hai Nidhi, ki auron ko kaisa lagta hai. Tumhein bhi to farq nahin padta ki log meri zidd ko ridiculous samajhte hain. Jab tak hum ek doosre ko samajhte aur appreciate karte hain, tab tak kissi aur se kya matlab hai?”

Nidhi smiled shyly.

“Main chalti hoon. Ghar par sab log wait kar rahe honge.”

Ashutosh nodded, “Bye Nidhi.”

“Aur haan. Main batana bhool gayi. Baba aapke baare mein poochh rahe the. Aur kah rahe the ki jab aap theek ho jayen to ghar zaroor aayen. Unhein aapse meri shikayatein karni hain.”

Ashutosh laughed, then asked, “Unhein pata hai ki tum yahan aati ho?”

“Haan. Kyon?”

“Nahin. Aise hi. Theek hone par main unse definitely miloonga.”

“Good night Sir.”

“Good night Nidhi.”

—

“Dr. Ashutosh.”

“Hmm?”

“Mujhse ab intezaar nahin hota?”

“Kis cheez ka?”

“Ye jaanne ka ki aapke Baba ki nishani kya hai?”

“Dikha doonga tumhein. Thodee door jaana padega isliye abhi beemaari se uth kar turat nahin jaana chahta.”

“Mujhe bataiye to ki woh cheez hai kya?”

Ashutosh smiled, “Tumhein itni bechaini kyon ho rahi hai?”

“Jis cheez mein aapki zindagi basti hai, saari khushiyan basti hain, mujhe pata tak nahin hai ki woh kya hai. To bechaini to hogi hi na.”

“Mujhse zyada tumhein us cheez ki parwaah hai, lagta hai?” Ashutosh teased.

“Kya karoon? Woh cheez aapko jo khushi de sakti hai, woh main nahin de sakti.”

Ashutosh’ smile disappared, “Aisa nahin hai Nidhi.”

“Aapko ise defend karne ko zaroorat nahin hai. Main shikayat nahin kar rahi. Lekin, please please please,” suddenly she pleaded like a child, “mujhe bas bata dijiye ki woh kya hai?”

“Achcha Ruko,” Ashutosh went to his writing desk and took out an album. He brought it to Nidhi, “Ye dekho.”

Nidhi was surprise to see the photo he was pointing towards, “Ye…”

“Baba ka ghar. Baba ka aur mera ghar. Apni will mein Baba apna sab kuchh mere naam kar gaye the. Lekin ye ghar… is ghar ke liye unhein meri yaad nahin rahi… Main aaj tak nahin samajh paya hoon ki Baba ne aisa kyon kiya. Jinke naam unhone ye ghar kiya, unse shayad woh kabhi mile tak nahin the. Aur us ghar ki jo halat ho rakhi hai, mujhe nahin lagta ki jinhein mila unke liye bhi is ghar ki koi kadra hai. Agar woh apni baaki daulat unke naam kar ke, bas ye ghar mujhe chhod jaate to main bahut khush rahta. Aur shayad woh log bhi.”

Nidhi was almost sure, but she wanted to confirm, “Kahan hai ye ghar?”

“Shahar se thoda door hai. Raibareli waali road par. Yahan se kuchh 14 kilometer hoga.”

“Ye is plate par kuchh to likha hai, samajh mein nahin aa raha is photo mein…”

“Address likha hai. Plot No. 21… Ye photograph achchi nahin hai. Purani hai na. Jab ye ghar mujhe wapas mil jayega Nidhi to tum iski achchhi si photo kheenchna.”

Nidhi didn’t immediately know how to react. She smiled nervously.

“Achchha. Ab main chalti hoon. Hospital ka time ho raha hai.”

“Theek hai. Kal se tumhein ye daily duty nahin karni padegi. Main bhi hospital jaunga.”

“Kal se? Lekin aapki tabiyat?”

“Itna bhi naazuk nahin hoon Nidhi. Main theek ho chuka hoon. Aaj tak ka aaraam kaafi hai.”

“Theek hai. Main shaam mein aapki situation dekhoongi. Phir decide karenge.”

—

“Baba.”

“Yes Nidhi.”

“Aapse ek baat poochhni thi.”

“Permission maang rahi ho? Agar mana kar doonga to nahin poochhogi?”

“Offo Baba. Mazaak nahin. Serious hoon.”

“Serious ho? Phir to badi baat hai. Poochho.”

“Baba. Hum log kabhi Nana se mile kyon nahin jab woh zinda the? Aur agar koi jhagda tha to jaate jaate woh apna makaan mere naam kyon kar gaye?”

Baba sighed, “Aaj achanak kyon poochh rahi ho?”

“Aise hi Baba. Family ke baare mein jaanne ki curiosity to hoti hai na?”

Baba looked at her intently for a second. Then smiled, “Ye bhi theek hai. Beta jhagda to koi nahin tha. Kyonki jhagda karne ka mauka hi nahin mila. Main ya tum to unse kabhi mile nahin. Tumhari Mummy bhi aakhiri baar unse tab mili thi, jab woh aath saal ki thi.”

“Kyon?”

“Andaaza hi laga sakta hoon Nidhi. Ki shayad gharelu zindagi unhein raas nahin aati thi. Explorer they woh. Duniya dekhna chahte the. Ghar-parivaar bandhan lagte the unhein. To woh ghar chhod kar chale gaye.”

“Ghar chhod kar chale gaye? Bas aise hi?”

“Haan.”

“Ye to zyaadati thi. Nani aur Mummy ne kaam kaise chalaya unke jaane ke baad?”

“Paison ki kami nahin thi ghar mein. Ye ganeemat thi. Lekin tumhari Mummy unhein bahut miss karti thi. Jitna unhein yaad tha, woh unse bahut pyaar karte the.”

“Aur phir bhi chhod kar chale gaye?”

“Insaan ki fitrat ko samajhna mushkil hai beta? Hamein unki kahani nahin maaloon hai to shayad unhein judge karna sahi nahin hoga. Jab insaan ki do alag alag zarooratein saamne aati hain, to ye kahna mushkil hai ki unmein se kiska palda bhaari padega. Unki jo bhi zaroorat unhein ghar se bahar kheench rahi thi, shayad apne parivar, apni beti ke liye unke pyaar se zyada badi thi.”

“Mujhe to nahin lagta ki pyaar se zyada badi koi cheez ho sakti hai.”

“I am happy ki tumhein aisa lagta hai Nidhi. Lekin har kissi ke liye to aisa nahin kaha ja sakta.”

“Agar Nana ke dil mein pyaar nahin hota to unhone baad mein kissi anaath bachche ko god kyon liya?”

“Tumhein kaise pata ye baat?”

“Woh. Baba… Bas pata hai. Shayad kabhi kahin suna tha. Aapse ya Dadi Bua se…”

“Bua ko nahin pata hai aur maine tumhein kabhi nahin bataya. Nidhi?”

“Baba. Abhi mat poochhiye please.”

“Theek hai. Nahin poochhta. Phir ek baar. Andaaza hi laga sakta hoon. Shayad zindagi mein kabhi akelapan unhein khalne laga ho. Isliye ek anaath ko apna kar use bharne ki koshish ki ho unhone.”

“Phir ye ghar mere naam kyon?”

“Mera khayaal hai ki shayad unhein kissi samay apne kiye ka dukh hua ho. Shayad unhein laga ho ki apni beti ke liye woh sab nahin kar paye jo karna chahiye tha. Lekin tab tak der ho chuki thi. Tumhari Mummy duniya mein nahin rahi. To unhone tumhein ye ghar de kar bhaarpai karni chahi.”

“Mummy unhein yaad karti thi?”

“Tumhari Mummy ne unhein bahut miss kiya tha. Unhein idolize karti thi woh.”

“Baawzood iske ki woh unhein chhod kar chale gaye the?”

“Haan Nidhi. Shayad woh bhi tumhari tarah thi. Pyaar karti thi apne Baba se. To uske aage aur kissi cheez se farq nahin padta tha.”

“Main unki tarah hoon Baba, woh meri tarah nahin.”

“Ye bhi theek hai. Waise jab itna bata diya hai to ye bhi sun lo ki tumhare doctor banne ke zimmedaar bhi tumhare Nana hi hain. Jab tumhari Mummy chhoti thi, woh aksar kaha karte the ki unhein doctor banna chahiye. Woh baat uske dimaag mein bachpan se baithi thi. Khud to use ghar waalon ne padhai karne nahin di. To isliye tumhare janm se pahle se hi usne kaha tha ki beta ho ya beti, use doctor banaungi.”

Nidhi smiled.

“Chalo. Ab aaj ke liye bahut kahaniyan ho gayi. Ab neend aa rahi hai mujhe.”

“Good night Baba.”

“Good night.”

—

Nidhi was unable to sleep. Fate had funny ways of twisting people’s lives. Both herself and Dr. Ashutosh were doctors because of Nana’s fascination with the profession. A lot of it made sense now. Both Mummy and Dr. Ashutosh had inherited their love for gardening and music from Nana. And indirectly, she too.

Her, Dr. Ashutosh, His Baba, Her Nana, Mummy – how entangled they all were. Mummy didn’t get what Dr. Ashutosh got. Nana’s fatherly love. And now Dr. Ashutosh did not get, what she had. Nana’s house. She smiled. It was now in her hands to end this cycle of deprivation. By bringing it all together. By gifting the house to Dr. Ashutosh. And then it will be theirs.

She smiled. Just then a message came on her cellphone. It was from Ashutosh, “Awake?”

She called him, “Aap soye nahin ab tak?”

“Neend nahin aa rahi thi.”

“Kal hospital jaane ki excitement ho rahi hogi aapko? Wards aur patients ko miss kar rahe honge aap?”

“Ye unfair hai Nidhi.”

“Kyon?”

“Ye possibility to tumne consider hi nahin ki main tumhare saath zyada samay bitane ke liye bhi excited ho sakta hoon.”

Her heart skipped a beat. She said, “Maine bhi aapko bahut miss kiya hai hospital mein. Lekin ab aap so jaiye. Neend poori nahin hui to I don’t think ki aap hospital jaane ki halat mein rahenge.”

“As you wish! Good night.”

“Good night.”

—

To be continued

‘Main bhi feel karta hoon. Aur ye feelings jaate-jaate hi jayengi. Samay lagega. Tab tak tumhari koi obligation nahin hai, tumhein koi decision nahin lena hai. Explore these feelings aur jab confusions sort out ho jayen, tab decide karna.’

‘Aur aap?’

‘Mujhe bas ye assurance chahiye ki tumne soch samajh kar, apne future ke liye sahi decision liya hai. Koi jaldbaazi nahin ki hai. Phir jo bhi tumhara decision hoga, usmein main tumhare saath rahunga.’

Those words rang in Nidhi’s mind as she drove back home. She stopped on the way and picked up a nice flower vase.

—

“Anji.” Nidhi had asked Anji to stay at her home for the night. She said she wanted to chat with her. Due to their jobs, they didn’t get time during the day. Nidhi would often have duties even on the weekends.

“Hmm?” Anji didn’t look up and continued applying her nail polish.

“Anji. I am in love.”

Anji looked up with bored eyes. “Stale news Ma’am.”

“Nahin Anji. Tu samajh nahin rahi hai. Not crush, liking or anything like. I am in love with him. I want to… I want to spend my life with him.”

That got Anji excited. She kept aside her nail polish and asked with glitter in her eyes, “Kya baat hai Nidhi? Kuchh baat hui kya?”

“Baat to hoti hi rahti hai.”

“Haan haan. But jo tune itna eloquent declaration of love kiya hai uske peechhe koi to wajah hai na. Bata – kya batana chahti hai mujhe?”

“Anji. Mujhe promise kar ki tu mazaak nahin banayegi.”

Anji smiled, “Promise Baba. Ab bata bhi.”

“Anji. Woh bahut achchhe insaan hain. Bahut hi zyada,” Nidhi just had to let out her overflowing emotions. She had to share the happiness she was feeling within.

“Official proposal ho gaya kya tumare beech?”

“Nahin,” Nidhi blushed, “But hum dono ko pata hai.”

“Kaise?”

“Woh chhod na. Bas pata hai.”

“Achchha. Phir?”

“Aaj main unse milne unke ghar gayi thi. Main bahut nervous feel kar rahi thi Anji. Chali to gayi thi lekin kuchh samajh mein nahin aa raha tha ki kya baat karoon. Jab tak Dr. Armaan bhi wahan baithe the, tab tak to main bas aise hi idhar udhar ki baatein karti rahi. Lekin jab woh chale gaye to akele mein meri to halat hi kharaab ho gayi.”

“Bolti ja. Main sun rahi hoon.”

“Unhein immediately samajh mein aa gaya Anji ki main ghabra rahi thi. Aur unhone aisi baat kahi ki…”

“Kya kaha, kya kaha? Bata na Nidhi!” Anji was dying of curiosity.

“Unhone kaha ki mujhe ghabrane ki koi zaroorat nahin hai. Jo confusion main feel kar rahi hoon, woh unhein bhi feel hota hai. Lekin jab tak mere confusion sort out na ho jayen, mujhe koi faisla lene ki zaroorat nahin hai. Maine unse poochha ki unke faisle ka kya. To unhone kaha ki agar unhein bharosa ho ki main apna decision soch samajh kar liya hai to woh usi mein mera saath denge.”

“Really? That was so sweet Nidhi.”

“Koi insaan itna selfless kaise ho sakta hai Anji? Mujhe vishwaas nahin hota ki main unhein ek samay par itna khadoos samajhti thi.”

“Par Nidhi ek baat bata. Dr. Ashutosh tujhse kam se kam 8-10 saal to bade honge na?”

“12 saal.”

“To tujhe isse koi problem nahin hai.”

“Bada hona koi problem to nahin hai.”

“Badhiya hai. Jab tujhe problem nahin hai to aur kissi ko kyon hogi? Mujhe to bilkul nahin hai Nidhi. Hayee! Main to abhi se soch rahi hoon ki teri shaadi mein kitni masti karoongi… kya dress pahnoongi…”

“Chup kar Anji. Itna aage mat badh. Unhone sab kuchh mujh par chhod diya hai. Lekin main bhi to selfish nahin ho sakti na. Mujhe bhi to unki feelings ka khayaal rakhna chahiye.”

“Matlab?”

“Anji. Woh apni zindagi se thode naaraaz se hain. Unke Baba ki koi nishaani thi, jo unse chhin gayi hai. Jab tak woh unhein wapas nahin milegi, mujhe nahin lagta ki woh zindagi mein aage badh payenge.”

“Ye to badi mysterious baat kar di tune. Aisi kaun si nishaani hai?”

“Ye to abhi mujhe bhi nahin pata.”

“Waise Nidhi. Main soch rahi thi…”

“Kya?”

“Ki jis ghar mein tu aur Dr. Ashutosh rahenge, woh kaisa hoga? Wahan to medicines aur injections ki smell aati rahegi. Woh Alzheimer ki latest research tujhe padh kar sunate rahenge aur tu yes sir, yes sir karti rahegi.”

“Anji ki bachchi… Tune waada kiya tha ki tu mazaak nahin udaayegi.”

“Haan to, ab to tune sab baatein bol di hain na.”

“Abhi batati hoon tujhe.”

—

“To bhai kya baatein hui Nidhi bhabhi se?”

“Armaan. Itna aage mat badh.”

“Main kaun hota hoon aage badhne waala? Tumhare flower vase, curtains aur pata nahin kya kya – sab par haq to usne already jama liya hai.”

“Armaan – woh jitna confident dikhti hai, utni hai nahin. Bahut confused aur ghabrayi hui hai andar se.”

“Achchha. To kya karne waale ho tum log?”

“Kya karna hai ye to nahin pata. Lekin kya nahin karna hai ye pata hai.”

“Kya nahin karna hai?”

“Jaldbaazi. Jaldbaazi nahin karni hai Armaan.”

“Ye bhi theek hai. Lekin Ashutosh, where do you stand? Kya tum zindagi mein aage badhne ke liye taiyaar ho? Kam se kam zindagi ko ek mauka doge?”

“Agr woh ghar mujhe wapas mil gaya Armaan to main use kismat ka ishaara samjhoonga ki main aage badh sakta hoon, khush ho sakta hoon.”

“That’s ridiculous Ashutosh. Tum ek doctor ho. You are supposed to be rational. Ye kaise tareeka hai decision lene ka? Kismat ka ishaara? Really?”

“Main ek insaan bhi hoon Armaan.”

“Whatever. Main to nahin samajhta tumhari reasoning. Mere khayaal se poochh lena Nidhi se ki woh samajhti hai ya nahin?”

Ashutosh looked thoughtful.

—

“Good morning Sir,” Ashutosh was sitting on the dining table, when Nidhi came to his house the next morning.

“Good morning Nidhi,” Ashutosh beamed and Hiraman Kaka smiled.

“Baitho beti. Nashta laga doon tumhare liye?” Kaka asked.

“Nahin Kaka. Bas chai de dijiye. Nashta to main kar ke aayi hoon. Aaj Dadi Bua full force mein thi. Bina nashta kiye aati to nikalne hi nahin deti.”

Everyone laughed.

“Waise aaj to unka wash chalta to mujhe Master chef bana hi daalti,” Nidhi chattered on while sipping her tea.

“Kyon?”

“Kabhi kabhi unhein bhoot chadhta hai. Ki mujhe ladkiyon waale koi kaam nahin aate. Yahan to kaam chal jaata hai. Sasuraal ja kar kya hoga. Aaj ko Baba ki bhi nahin sun rahi thi. Badbadaye ja rahi thi. Finally Chhote Sarkar ne mujhe museebat se nikala.”

“Achcha. Woh kaise?” Ashutosh was listening to her intently, smiling throughout.

“Unhone kaha,” Nidhi spoke imitating Chhote Sarkar’s accent, “Dadi Bua. Aap fikr na karein. Nidhi Bibi ji ki shaadi ke pahle hamari shaadi ho jayegi. Aur hum apni biwi ko Nidhi bibi ji ke saath bhej denge khana banae ke liye.”

Ashutosh and Kaka were in splits seeing her mimickry.

“Achchha hai. Aise hi khul kar hansa kijiye. Sehat achchi rahegi,” Nidhi said suddenly, “Dadi Bua ko bhi aise hi hansi aa gayi thi. Tabhi unka mood theek hua aur meri jaan chhooti. Achchha ye flower vase dekhiye, kaisa hai?” Without giving him a chance to react to her eariler statement, she handed him the packet.

Ashutosh opened it patiently and said, “Bahut achchha hai. Kyon Kaka?”

“Haan beta. Achchha kiya le aayin. Maine kal phool purane phooldaan mein daale the. Woh achchha nahin lag raha tha.”

“Main abhi change kar ke aati hoon,” Nidhi said and sprang towards his bedroom as Ashutosh looked on fondly.

“Bahut khushmizaz ladki hai,” Hiraman Kaka said, once she was out of sight.

“Haan Kaka. Woh to hai,” Ashutosh agreed.

“Dr. Armaan nahin dikh rahe,” Nidhi asked after she came back from the room.

“Haan. Use aaj interiors ke villages mein jaana tha. To woh jaldi nikal gaya.”

“Achchha. Main chalti hoon. Hospital ka time ho raha hai. Aap apna khayaal rakhiyega. Aur tabiyat theek na lage to please apne kamre mein hi khaana khaiyega.”

“Okay Doc!” Ashutosh said playfully.

“Bye Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi smiled and made to leave.

“Nidhi,” Ashutosh stopped her.

“Ji?”

“Shaam ko… aaogi na?”

Nidhi smiled and nodded.

—

To be continued