Mish' Fiction

“Siddhi!”

“Kya hai?” she was clearly upset.

“Tujhe kya hua hai?”

“Kuchh nahin!”

“Siddhi. Tu itni judgemental kyon ho rahi hai? I am an adult.”

“Tum Dr. Ashutosh se shaadi kar rahi ho?”

“Some day, I guess… Par ismein gussa hone waali kya baat hai?”

“To ab Rahul tumhari first priority ho jayega.”

“Pagal,” Nidhi smiled, “Teri jagah meri zindagi mein koi aur nahin le sakta. Abhi bhi to main Rahul ka khayaal rakhti hoon. Kya tujhe koi shikayat hai?”

“Di, Dr. Ashutosh tumse bahut bade hain. He has an eight-year old son son.”

“And I have a thirteen-year old to take care of. Hisaab baraabar,” Nidhi joked and then added seriously, “Aur Siddhi. Mujhe bhi help ki zaroorat hai, support ki zaroorat hai. Apne liye. Tere liye. Teri achchhi parvarish ke liye.”

“Yahi to problem hai,” Siddhi mumbled.

“Kya?” Nidhi asked anxiously.

“Tum meri wajah se ye kar rahi ho na? Tumhari umra ka koi ladka to meri responsibility nahin uthayega. Isliye ye compromise…”

“Nahin Siddhi…”

“Di. Maine tumse pahle bhi promise kiya tha na? Main tumhein pareshaan nahin karoongi. Bilkul nahin karoongi. Tumhein mere liye ek guardian dhoondhne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Tum apne liye ek sahi husband dhoondho…”

“Shut up Siddhi,” Nidhi said very softly, “Meri baat sun. Bahut dhyaan se sunna. Mummy-Papa ne jo kiya, uski wajah se main hamesha ke liye badal gayi. Ek to samay se pahle bada hona pada mujhe. Aur nahin – iski wajah tu nahin thi. Iski wajah woh the. Main apni umra ke aur logon ki tarah nahin hoon. Ye baat koi badal nahin sakta. Na tu, na main, na hi koi aur. Meri umra ke log mujhe itne immature lagte hain ki shayad main kabhi kissi ki izzat na kar paun, kabhi kissi se pyaar na kar paun. Lekin ye wajah nahin hai ki Dr. Ashutosh meri zindagi mein hain. Main koi faisla kar ke nahin baithi thi ki mujhe khud se bade insaan se shaadi karni hai. Lekin Mummy-Papa ke baad jo doosri bahut badi cheez mere andar badal gayi thi, woh ye ki main kissi par bharosa nahin kar pati thi. Mujhe hamesha aisa lagta the ki jab apne ma-baap par hi bharosa nahin kar sakte, jab woh hi hamein akela chhod kar chale gaye, to phir kissi aur par kaise bharosa kar sakti hoon main. Maine kissi relative ko apni to chhod, teri responsibility bhi nahin uthane di. Jabki mujhe kuchh nahin pata tha ki main tujhe kaise paaloongi. Aur koi bhi mera ye trust jeet nahin paaya aaj tak, siway Dr. Ashutosh ke. Pata nahin kab aur kaise hua, lekin woh meri zindagi ka hissa bante gaye, main unki bahut respect karne lagi, unpar trust karne lagi, aur unhein bahut pyaar karne lagi…”

“Lekin jab bhi mujhe koi shaq hua, ya maine kuchh poochha, to tumne mujhe hamesha chup karwa diya. Kyon? Tum mujhe kyon nahin batana chahti thi.”

“Kyonki woh is rishte ko accept karne ko taiyaar nahin the.”

“Matlab?”

“Jo baat tujhe pareshaan kar rahi hai Siddhi, hamara age-gap, wahi unhein bhi pareshaan karti thi. Unhein lagta tha ki woh mere liye sahi nahin hain. Bahut dinon ki kash-ma-kash ke baad unhone aaj finally accept kiya…”

“To kya unhone tumhein abhi-abhi propose kiya hai?” Siddhi’s eyes widened in surprise and excitement.

Nidhi blushed and nodded.

“To tum mujhse chhipa nahin rahi thi?”

“Nahin pagli. Main tujhse kyon aur kaise chhipaungi? Haan – ye nahin socha tha ki aise pata chalega tujhe.”

“Tum khush ho Di?”

“Main bahut khush hoon. Lekin agar tu khush nahin hogi to…”

“Di,” Siddhi’s eyes became moist, “Mere sar par tumhare alawa kissi ka haath nahin hai. Tum jo bhi faisla logi, woh mere hisaab se kabhi galat nahin ho sakta.”

“Kitni badi-badi baatein kar rahi hai,” Nidhi also got emotional, “Kitni badi ho gayi hai tu? Lekin ab ghabra mat. Tere oopar Dr. Ashutosh ka bhi haath hai. Agar mujhe kuchh ho gaya to bhi…”

“Shut up,” Siddhi started crying and hugged her.

“Siddhi,” Nidhi broke the hug and spoke, “Dr. Ashutosh pareshaan ho rahe honge bahar. Chal kar unhein bhi bol de ki tu gussa nahin hai.”

She nodded and they went out together.

Ashutosh looked at them nervously.

“I am sorry, Dr. Ashutosh,” Siddhi spoke relieving him of the tension, “I over-reacted.”

“Siddhi,” Ashutosh came to her smiling and caressed her head, “Tumhari zindagi se tumhari Di kahin nahin jayegi. Balki aur log tumhari zindagi mein aa jayenge. Thodee tumhari boriyat bhi kam hogi. Har samay apni Di ke saath rah-rah kar bore nahin ho jati tum?”

Siddhi grinned and Ashutosh hugged her. Nidhi watched on happily.

“Aaj to celebration hona chahiye?” Siddhi spoke suddenly.

“Kyon?”

“Are… Kya kahte hain woh – haan. Aaj meri Di ka rishta pakka hua hai.”

Nidhi laughed nervously, “Pagal hai tu Siddhi.”

“Aap bataiye Dr. Ashutosh. Main kuchh galat kah rahi hoon?” Siddhi said.

“Well… Kah to tum sahi rahi ho. Lekin Nidhi ki tabiyat kharaab hai. To aisa karte hain. Aaj uske liye sick food banate hain. Aur hum log pizza kha kar celebrate karte hain.”

“That’s not fair,” Nidhi mock complained.

“Fair to nahin hi hai. Pizza is not enough. But tumhari tabiyat ka khayaal karte hue aaj hum isse hi kaam chala lenge,” Sidhhi teased her, “Main Dr. Armaan aur Rahul ko phone kar ke bula loon?”

“Ruk ja Siddhi,” Nidhi stopped her, “Rahul ko carefully batana hoga…”

“Don’t worry, Nidhi,” Ashutosh assured her, “Use pata chalega ki tum uske saath rahogi, to woh khushi ke maare pagal ho jayega.”

“Phir bhi…”

“Main Armaan ko phone karta hoon.”

—

“Armaan. Tu ghar par hi hai na aaj?”

“Haan. Kyon?”

“Tujhe Nidhi ka ghar pata hai?”

“Nahin. Kyon? Pata hona chahiye tha kya?”

Ashutosh ignored his teasing remark, “Main tujhe address SMS karta hoon. Rahul ko le kar yahan aa ja.”

“Bade hukum chalaye ja rahe hain janaab. Baat kya hai?”

“Abhi tu aayega ki baaraat bhejni padegi tujhe laane ke liye?”

“Bhej hi de baaraat yaar. Aisa mauka phir kahan milega?”

“Armaan!”

“Nahin bhejega? Chal koi nahin. Aa jaata hoon. Bas address bhej de.”

“Rahul ko le aana.”

“Jo hukum mere aaka.”

—

“Nidhi Auntie,” Rahul ran excitedly towards Nidhi and she hugged him.

“Abhi mujhse door hi raho Rahul,” she suddenly remembered her cold, “Warna tumhein bhi zukaam ho jayega.”

“Aap ghar kyon nahin aayi?”

“Tabiyat kharaab thi na Rahul. Isliye to tumhein yahan bula liya.”

“Kya ho gaya aapko?” Armaan got concerned.

“Kuchh nahin Dr. Armaan. Bas zukaam ho gaya hai thoda.”

“To hum sab yahan Dr. Nidhi ke zukaam ko theek karne ke liye ikattha hue hain?” Armaan looked at Ashutosh.

“Nahin,” Ashutosh replied with a meaningful smile, “Hum ye pata karne ke liye ikattha hue hain ki agar Dr. Nidhi Rahul ke saath rahengi to Rahul ko kaisa lagega?”

“Sach?” Rahul was wide-eyed in surprise and excitement, “Nidhi Auntie hamare saath rahengi?”

“Tumhein achchha lagega?” Ashutosh kneeled to face Rahul and asked.

“Bahut mazaa aayega.”

Armaan looked from Ashutosh to Nidhi and back completely surprised by the turn of the events, while Nidhi just blushed and smiled and Siddhi grinned.

“Kya iska matlab wahi hai jo main samajh raha hoon?” he asked.

“Woh to is par depend karta hai Dr. Armaan,” Siddhi replied, “ki aap kya samajh rahe hain?”

Rahul’s question voiced Armaan’s too, “Nidhi Auntie meri Mummy ki tarah hamare saath rahengi?”

Everyone laughed and Nidhi blushed heavily.

“Haan Rahul,” Siddhi replied chirpily, “Aur tumhein mujhe Maasi bulana padega.”

“Main tumhein Maasi nahin bulaunga,” Rahul protested.

“Bulana padega,” Siddhi made a face to tease him and he ran after her to take revenge. Siddhi ran towards her room and Rahul followed her.

Armaan, Ashutosh and Nidhi looked after them and smiled.

“Nidhi,” Armaan turned towards her, “Pahle main tumhein congratulations aur thanks bol doon. For hanging in there. For waiting. And for winning your love.”

“Thank you Dr. Armaan. Lekin aisa nahin hai ki main kuchh aur kar sakti thi. Mujhe to intezaar karna hi tha.”

“God bless you,” Armaan patted her head affectionately, then turned towards Ashutosh, “Aur tu champu. Finally akal aa gayi tujhe.”

“Ab to maine woh kar diya jo tu chahta tha Armaan. Ab kyon taane maar raha hai?”

“Nahin. Ab to tujhe gale lagane ka time aa gaya hai. Aa ja!” They hugged. “Congratulations Ashu. Maine bahut khush hoon.”

“Chalo bhai. Pizza order karte hain,” Ashutosh said after their emotional exchange was over.

“Please poora menu mat order kijiyega Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi said, “Bachchon ko to Cheese pizza hi pasand aata hai. Aap aur Dr. Armaan uske alaawa apni pasand se order kar lijiye.”

“Theek hai. Aur tumhare liye khichdi bana lete hain.”

“Main bana loongi.”

“Main banaungi,” Siddhi came back to the hall and announced.

“Tu aakhiri baar paani lene bhi kab gayi thi kitchen mein Siddhi?” Nidhi laughed.

“To kya hua. Khichdi to main bana sakti hoon.”

“Achchha?”

“Bas ye bata do ki paani kitna daalna hai… Aur masala kaun sa aur kitna daalna hai…”

Everyone laughed and Ashutosh said, “Chalo. Hum dono mil kar banate hain Siddhi. Mujhe aata hai banana.”

“Rahne dijiye…”

“Sit down Nidhi. Tum beemaar ho. Beemaron ki tarah raho,” Ashutosh ordered good humouredly.

“Khaana to mujhe hi padega. Lekin theek hai…” Nidhi shrugged and sat down.

—

“Nidhi. Aaj to aap off-duty hain na?” Ashutosh called Nidhi.

“Yes, Sir.”

“To aap yahan aa jaiye.”

“Koi kaam tha, Sir?”

“Haan. Aapse kuchh baat karni thi.”

“Koi problem hai, Sir?”

“Nahin. Nahin. Aap bas aa jaiye.”

“Ji. Theek hai.”

Ashutosh paced up and down the hall waiting for Nidhi, trying to think of how he would talk to her. He rushed to open the door himself when the doorbell rang.

“Surprise!” he was greeted by Rahul. Nidhi and Siddhi were standing behind him grinning.

“Rahul? Siddhi? Aap log yahan kaise? School…” Ashutosh was flustered.

“School mein aag lag gayi Papa. Isliye hamari chhutti ho gayi.”

“Kya?” Ashutosh got worried.

“Nahin Dr. Ashutosh,” Sidhhi assured him, “Ye aise hi badha-chadha kar bol raha hai. Lekin canteen mein fire alarm baj raha tha. Aur unhein source pata nahin chal raha tha. To safety ke liye unhone chhutti kar di. Maine Di ko inform kar diya aur socha ki Rahul ko ghar la kar aapko surprise karein.”

“Oh. Okay. Sab log darwaaze par kyon khade hain. Andar aaiye.”

Rahul and Siddhi were extremely excited about the unexpected holiday and they kept running around the hall, playing silly games, despite several admonitions from Nidhi and Ashutosh.

“Bachche bahut excited hain. Abhi nahin sunenge,” Nidhi told Ashutosh smiling.

“Haan. Woh to dikh raha hai,” he replied trying to hide his frustration.

“Waise appko kuchh baat karni thi, Sir?”

“Haan?”

“Aapne kaha tha na ki kuchh baat karni hai?”

“Haan. Woh… Mere dhyaan se utar gaya.”

“Aapne mujhe baat karne ke liye hi bulaya tha.”

“Haan. Woh – Rahul…”

“Kya hua Rahul ko?”

“Aapko nahin lagta kuchh problem hai?”

“Mujhe…to… nahin laga… Koi baat hai kya?” Nidhi got worried.

“Nahin. Phir nahin hogi.”

“Ji?”

“Bas aise hi pata nahin kyon – main ghabra gaya tha.”

“Achchha… Agar aapko shaq ho raha hai to hum checkup karwa sakte hain. Main aaj hi use hospital le jaati hoon.”

“Nahin. Nahin… Uski zaroorat nahin hai.”

“Sure?”

“Haan. Zaroorat hogi to main khud hi checkup karwa loonga.”

“Okay…” Nidhi was confused, but Ashutosh was not forthcoming.

—

Nidhi had a tiring day at work.She received a call from Ashutosh as soon as her shift was over.

“Main parking lot mein hoon. Aap yahan aa jaiye,” he told her.

“Sir. Aap yahan kya kar rahe hain. Aap to abhi duty par nahin the?”

“Haan. Mujhe aaj bahar dinner ke liye jaane ka man ho raha tha. Armaan out of station hai. To maine socha ki aap chalengi mere saath…” he explained nervously.

“Rahul aur Siddhi?”

“Siddhi mere ghar par hai. Rahul ki maid aur Hiraman Kaka hain ghar par. Unhein khila denge. Main unhein bol kar aaya hoon.”

“Okay… Kahan chalna hai?”

“Ek jagah hai… Thodee outskirts par hai. Resort hai actually. But in a large farmhouse…”

Nidhi was tired, but she could not refuse him, “Theek hai. Chalte hain. Lekin mere ghar hote hue chalte hain. Main change kar loon.”

“Sure.”

Ashutosh was tense while driving. He wasn’t talking much. He realized after a while that they were not talking at all and turned towards Nidhi. She had fallen asleep. If it weren’t for the seat-belt, she would have fallen from her seat. He smiled seeing her sleep like a baby. His tension went away. He gently woke her up.

“I… I am sorry, Sir. Mujhe pata hi nahin chala ki main kab so gayi.”

“Aap thaki hui hain, phir aap chalne ke liye kyon taiyaar ho gayi? Woh bhi itni door.”

“Nahin Sir. Aisa kuchh nahin hai.”

“Stop it Nidhi. Itna bata sakti ho tum mujhe. Chalo. Kahin yahin aas paas dinner kar lete hain. Wahan kabhi aur jaayenge.”

“I’m really sorry, Sir. Lekin hum ja sakte hain… Main jaana chahti hoon.”

“I know,” Ashutosh said very softly, “Tum har woh cheez karna chahti ho jo main chahta hoon. Lekin we are not running out of time. Abhi yahan paas mein ek restaurant hai, wahin chalte hain. Woh bhi mujhe bahut pasand hai.”

—

Nidhi came out of her house wearing a simple blue saaree. Ashutosh, waiting in his car, could not help staring at her. Gorgeous was the only word that came to his mind. They were going to a party hosted by Armaan for the doctors in the city. It was intended to introduce the doctors to various WHO initiatives and get them to volunteer.

“Pahli baar tumhein saaree mein dekha,” he remarked.

“Siddhi ne kaha ki formal occassion ke liye saaree pahanna best hai.” She did not tell him the real reason. It was her own idea. She had wanted to look mature. For Ashutosh. Even though he did not think he had been successful in conveying his intentions, his frequent attempts to talk to her or meet her in private had given Nidhi hopes. He might just be changing his mind.

“Change is a good thing. Don’t you think so?” Ashutosh said.

“Yes. Assuming things change for better.”

“And how do you know if you are changing for better or for worse.”

“Follow your heart.”

“Is it that simple? Heart may not always be right.”

“What other option do we have?”

“None.”

“Then?”

“So, you always follow your heart?”

“I let my heart and mind fight and see who wins.”

Ashutosh laughed, “Bada hi bloody solution hai ye to.”

“Circumstances hamesha hamein apna fate decide karne ka option nahin dete, Dr. Ashutosh. Jab woh option mile to uska poora istemaal karna chahiye. Dil aur dimaag ki poori exercise karwa deni chahiye.”

“Right! Aur jab dil jeet jaye to dil ki baat maan leni chahiye? Bhale hi dimaag kuchh bhi kah raha ho?”

“Haan.”

“Theek hai. Phir main bhi ab yahi karoonga?”

“Kis cheez ke liye?”

“You will know soon. Hopefully!”

—

“Dr. Rangnath ne bataya ki tum beemaar ho?” Ashutosh was flustered when Nidhi opened the door for him.

“Bas thoda zukaam ho raha tha. Mujhe laga hospital jaana theek nahin hoga. Isliye unhein phone kar diya tha. Aap is waqt kyon aa gaye?”

“Kyon? Mere aane-jaane ka koi waqt decided hai?” he sounded irritated.

“Mera ye matlab nahin tha, Sir. Abhi to aapko hospital mein kaam hoga.”

“Tum akeli ho ghar par. Beemaar ho. Mujhe phone nahin kar sakti thi?”

“Mujhe kuchh hua ho tab to? Aap bekaar mein pareshaan ho rahe hain. Zukaam hai, maine dawai le li hai. Aap baith jaiye please.”

“Tumhari kuchh samajh mein nahin aata hai,” Ashutosh mumbled, but sat down on the sofa.

“Mujhe to aapki tabiyat kharaab lag rahi hai. Chai banaun… Ye kya hai?” she suddenly noticed a package he had kept beside him on the sofa.

“Kuchh karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Tum baith kyon nahin jaati?”

“Baith gayi. Ab bataiye. Aap itne agitated kyon hain?”

“Ye tumhari liye hai,” he handed her the package.

“Kya hai ye?”

“Khol kar dekh lo.”

Feeling curious, Nidhi opened the package hastily. She stared in surprise as she took its content out.

“Ye kya hai?”

“iPad!”

“Red color mein kahan aata hai?”

“Custom painted hai.”

“Ye kyon mangwaya aapne?”

“Kyonki tumne kaha tha ki red color ki hoti to tumhein pasand aati…”

“Are to… Iska matlab ye thode hi na tha ki aapko aise custom paint kar ke itni mahngi cheez khareedni hi thi…”

“Mujhe tumse kuchh baat karni thi.”

“To uske liye iPad khareedne ki kya zaroorat thi?”

“Tumhari kuchh samajh mein kyon nahin aata?”

“Aap mujhe samjhaana kya chah rahe hain exactly? Aapki baatein, aapka tareeka mujhe to sach mein samajh mein nahin aata. Chal kya raha hai ye?”

“To hell with prudence. Marry me Nidhi.”

“Ji?” Nidhi jumped out of the sofa and stood up.

“Ab is par bhi tum chaunk rahi ho?” Ashutosh also got up and came close to her.

“Actually… haan…” Nidhi stammered looking cutely confused.

“Now answer me.”

“Aapne koi sawaal poochha hi nahin,” she had gotten her wits back.

“Oh God! Will you marry me?”

“God is unlikely to marry you.”

“But you will,” he declared and attacked her lips for a deep, passionate kiss.

“Aapko bhi zukaam ho jayega,” she mumbled after they broke the kiss.

“Seriously Dr. Nidhi Verma? Aapko lagta hai ki I care?”

She smiled. Both their eyes had become moist. Ashutosh gently pulled her close and hugged her. It was a gentle hug of love. There was no urgency of passion. They now had a lifetime to indulge in passion and all kinds of emotions.

“Di!” Nidhi had forgotten to lock the door behind Ashutosh and Siddhi had returned from school. They hastily separated on hearing her voice. Siddhi appeared shocked and disturbed to see them. “Mujhe laga tha ki tumhari tabiyat kharaab hai. Isliye tum ghar par ruki ho,” there was accusation in her tone. Then she turned and walked off to her room.

Nidhi and Ashutosh looked at each other unsure of what to do. They hadn’t had time to discuss about how to tell others. But neither of them had expected anyone, especially Siddhi, to find out like this.

“Main dekhti hoon,” Nidhi said finally.

“Nidhi!” Ashutosh stopped her, “Jab Siddhi se baat karo to ye yaad rakhna ki tumhari saari zimmedaariyan meri bhi hain. Bilkul waise hi, jaise tumhari hain.”

She smiled and nodded; then went after her sister.

—

To be continued

“Theek hai. Main dekhti hoon. Kuchh solution nikal aayega. Tu rona band kar. Aur bahut raat ho gayi hai, so ja,” Ashutosh heard Nidhi talking on the phone when he walked into the common room. They were both on the night duty.

“Kya hua?” he asked after she disconnected the call.

“Sir?” she hadn’t noticed him and was startled. Both of them laughed as the usual incident of her getting startled by Ashutosh repeated.

“Kyon ro rahi hai Siddhi? Usse hi baat kar rahi thi na aap?”

“Haan. Uski Maths ki problem solve nahin ho pa rahi hai. Tuition mein bhi pachaas se zyada students hain ek class mein. Aise mein kaun personal attention de sakta hai kissi par. Woh abhi koi model test paper solve kar rahi thi, aur passing marks ke bhi solve nahin kar payi. To ghabra gayi ki exam mein fail ho jayegi… Ab main kya karoon? Kahan se personal tutor dhoondhoon uske liye?”

“Main try kar sakta hoon. Meri Maths kabhi itni buri nahin thi.”

“Aapki Maths to buri nahin rahi hogi. Lekin aapke paas kahan time hai, Sir?”

“Jab aapke paas time hai sab cheezon ke liye, to mere paas kyon nahin hoga?”

“Mujhe bas ward duties karni hoti hain. Aapke oopar itne saare administrative kaamon ka bhi pressure hai.”

“Ye bahas to hum poore din kar sakte hain. Lekin abhi bottomline ye hai ki main Siddhi ki help kar sakta hoon. Aap bas time coordinate kijiye jisse jab main ghar par houn, woh wahan aa kar padhai kar sake.”

“Theek hai. Jis din aapki shaam mein duty nahin hogi, main use bhej doongi.”

“Waise Siddhi aapko apni saari problems batati hai, nahin?”

“Haan. Aur kise batayegi woh?”

“Mujhe kabhi-kabhi aapki closeness dekh kar jalan hoti hai. Main kabhi kissi ke itna close nahin tha. Mere koi siblings bhi nahin the. Khair. Aap apni problems ka kya karti hain? Siddhi to itni chhoti hai. Aap use to nahin batati hongi?”

“Kuchh dinon pahle tak khud hi joojhti rahti thi. Ab aapko bata deti hoon. Lekin aap kya karte hain apni problems ka?”

“Meri problems aap mere bina bataye hi samajh jaati hain.”

“Maine aapki kaun si problem samjhi hai?”

“Aapne samjhi hi nahin hai, solve bhi kar di hai. Chahe woh Rahul ko school se laana ho, ya uski jaundice ka diagnosis, ya uski zindagi mein ek mother-figure ki kami poori karna. Meri aur koi chinta nahin hai, koi problem nahin hai, siway iske ki Rahul ki parwarish mein koi kami na rah jaye.”

Nidhi sighed and averted her eyes. How was she to respond to those emotions? He found her the perfect mother for Rahul, the perfect companion for himself. But he wouldn’t accept her. Because he worried for her. What was she to do?

“Nidhi,” he spoke again in a solemn voice, “Meri aur Rahul ki bahut saari duayein tumhare saath hain. Tumhein zindagi mein woh sab kuchh milega jo tum deserve karti ho. Kabhi apni nazarein aasmaan se neeche mat rakhna. You deserve the best and you will get it.” In the grips of his emotions, he got up and caressed her head as if blessing her. Then he left immediately. Nidhi looked on and could not stop tears from filling her eyes.

—

“Wow! This is a nice place Dr. Ashutosh!” Siddhi exclaimed when they arrived at the picnic spot. It was a quiet place beside a lake.

“Waise ye picnic ka idea kaise aaya tujhe Ashu?” Armaan asked.

“Siddhi ki zidd thi,” Nidhi offered the answer.

“She did so well in her Maths exams. Maine use promise kiya tha,” Ashutosh defended Siddhi.

“‘So well’ to nahin kiya hai. She managed to pass all right,” Nidhi opposed playfully.

“Not fair Dr. Nidhi. Baaki subjects mein she did so well. Maths problematic hai uske liye. Lekin usne bahut mehnat ki and got well above 60%.”

“Theek hai. Aap use indulge karna chahte hain to yahi sahi.”

“Excuse me,” Siddhi interrupted finally, “Ye saara blame mere sar par kyon aa raha hai. Aap log bhi to enjoy karenge.”

“Of course!” Ashutosh supported her.

“Yahan paani mein jaana allowed hai, Dr. Ashutosh?” Nidhi asked.

“Haan. Kyon?”

“Di ko swimming bahut pasand hai,” Siddhi said.

“Aur tumhein?” Ashutosh asked her.

“Mujhe paani se dar lagta hai.”

“Maine ise sikhane ki kitni koshish ki. Lekin ek number ki darpok hai ye, Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi teased her sister.

“Haan meri bahan. Tum ho na Jhansi ki Rani, hum dono ke badle.”

“Koi mere saath kuchh khelega?” Rahul complained.

“Of course,” Armaan volunteered, “Main hoon na. Siddhi. Tum bhi aa jao. Dr. Ashutosh aur Nidhi ko swimming karne do. Chalo. Wahan par thoda khula sa maidaan hai. Wahan chal kar frisbee khelte hain.”

“Aap swimming karenge?” Nidhi asked Ashutosh after others had gone to play.

“Nahin. Aap kijiye. Main thodee der yahan baith kar kuchh padhoonga.”

“Okay.”

Nidhi changed behind a clump and got into the water. Ashutosh watched her swimming for a while, then got engrossed in his book. When he looked up next, he could not see Nidhi anywhere. He panicked.

“Nidhi!” he shouted, but got no response. He rushed towards the lake, took off his shirt and jumped into the water. He looked for her underwater for a couple of minutes, when she suddenly surfaced on her own.

“Kya kar rahi ho tum?” he shouted angrily and swam towards her.

Nidhi was confused. “Kya hua?” she asked as he held her tight.

“Tum theek ho?” His anger suddenly turned into concern, “Niklo yahan se.”

He hugged her tight as soon as they got out of the water, taking her by surprise. Nidhi was conscious of their completely wet bodies, Ashutosh’ bare chest and her wearing only a swimsuit. She was in the arms of the man she loved madly. She could not resist for long. She hugged him back and did it passionately. As if she wanted to get the maximum out of this moment and feel him enough for the rest of her life. Ashutosh wasn’t in control of himself either. His protective embrace also turned passionate. They caressed each other roughly, rubbing their cheeks and necks against each other and pulling each other even closer if that was possible. Suddenly they heard Rahul cry out in excitement. He had apparently won a game. They separated hastily and stayed silent in embarrassment.

“Main change kar ke aati hoon,” Nidhi broke the silence and walked away to the place behind the trees, where she had changed earlier. Ashutosh watched her walk and tried to control his heart-beats. How long will he be able to control himself? He loved her, he wanted her, he needed her. And obviously she did so too. When she had disappeared from his sight for a while, he had felt like life had been drained out of him too… And then this passion he felt… There was no point in fooling himself, denying himself. If she was too young for him, so be it! This must be their destiny.

“Papa. Aap kaise bheeg gaye?” Rahul’s question brought him out of his reverie. Rahul, Siddhi and Armaan had come back.

“Haan bhai. Aur Salmaan Khan bana ghoom raha hai yaar Ashu?” Armaan could not help teasing him.

Nidhi came back after changing out of her swimsuit.

“Nidhi suddenly nazar nahin aa rahi thi lake mein. To main dar gaya tha…”

“Aha! Aur kood gaye paani mein use bachaane,” Armaan whistled.

“Di underwater swimming kar rahi hogi,” Siddhi explained increasing Ashutosh’ embarrassment even further.

“Dr. Ashutosh ko nahin pata tha Siddhi,” Nidhi came to his rescue, “Lekin Sir. Aapke kapde to bheeg gaye. Aap change karne ke liye kuchh laye hain?”

“Haan. Ek pair pada hoga meri car mein. Hospital ki emergencies ke liye rakhta hoon. Main change kar ke aata hoon,” Ashutosh was happy to be out of everyone’s inquisitive eyes.

“Waise kaafi filmy tha Di,” Siddhi grinned, “Unfortunately damsel distress mein thi hi nahin.”

“Shut up Siddhi,” Nidhi glared at her and Siddhi did not say anything more on this.

—

Ashutosh was in a quandary. Having insisted for so long that they were not suitable for each other, how was he now to take an about-turn and propose to her?

“Coffee!” he thought and almost jumped out of his chair. Coffee was the best way to give an hint to her that he had changed his mind. He looked at the clock. It was 5 in the evening. The right time to ask her out for a coffee. He came out of his office and looked for her in the ward and the common room. She was not there. Desperate he went to the canteen. She was having her evening tea with her colleagues. He was about to ask her right there, but came to his senses in time. It would be scnadulous for him to ask her before so many people. He came back disappointed. May be tomorrow. But when he thought about it later, it seemed like a stupid idea. Coffee? As if he was asking a stranger out! They were already too close for that. And for all that mattered, they might already have had too many coffees and lunches together. It was hardly going to give her any hint, even if he asked.

He was browsing Internet for nothing in particular when an ad caught his attention. Some company in the US was providing custom paint job on iPads. He recalled their conversation while she was buying an iPad for Siddhi. “Red would have been nice,” she had said. He clicked on the ad and the company looked genuine. Getting the custom-painted iPad shipped to India would be costly, but he ordered it anyway. And waited for it to come. It would take at least 5 weeks, but he checked his order status everyday.

Meanwhile his efforts continued.

“Rahul aapke liye poochh raha tha. Agar pareshaani na ho to aap aur Siddhi aaj shaam ghar par aa jaiye. Wahin dinner karte hain,” he told her when she came to his office for some work.

“Ji.”

“Aapko movies dekhna pasad hai?”

“Ji?” The topic came from nowhere and Nidhi was surprised.

“Movies? I’m sure aap jaanti hain ki movies kya hoti hain.”

That made her laugh. “Of course. Main aaj-kal zyada dekhti nahin hoon. Siddhi apne friends ke saath jaane lagi hai. Waise bhi jo movies woh dekhti hai, woh mujhe pasand nahin hai.”

“Kya pasand nahin hai aapko?”

“Sugary rom-com. I prefer sci-fi, or action. Main mostly ghar par dekhti hoon.”

“I see.”

A sci-fi or action movie was hardly going to convey his romantic intentions!

—

To be continued

“Sir. Main nikalti hoon. Siddhi ko pick karna hai.”

“Woh to khud aa jaati hai ab.”

“Use tution classes jaana hai. Thoda door hai, woh pahle kabhi gayi nahin.”

“Tuition kyon? Aap to use khud padhati hain na?”

“Use Maths mein problem ho rahi hai. Aur woh meri bhi thodee kamzor thi. Ab higher classes ke liye main nahin padha paati use.”

“Hmm… Theek hai. Aap rahne dijiye. Main driver ko gaadi le kar bhej deta hoon.”

“Nahin Sir. Uski zaroorat nahin hai…”

“Zaroorat to aapko kissi cheez ki nahin hoti. Lekin night duty kar ke aayi hain. Phir subah yahan aa gayin. Ab phir bhaag-daud karengi…”

“Aap to aise describe kar rahe hain jaise main majdoori kar rahi hoon. Mujhe aadat hai, Sir. Aur phir tuition mein fees bhi deni hai, to…”

“Aap driver ke haath bhijwa dijiiye. Bharose ka aadmi hai. Hamare bhi kai kaam karta hai.”

“Aap koi option hi nahin chhod rahe.”

“That was my intent.”

“Ek aur problem hai. Main uske liye lunch le jaane waali thi.”

“Hiraman Kaka se bol dijiye. Woh bhijwa denge.”

Nidhi smiled and gave in.

“Siddhi bura to nahin maanegi, aap nahin gayin to?” Ashutosh asked.

“Nahin. Uski to dili tamanna poori ho jayegi. Car se school se nikalne ki.”

“Phir to badhiya hai.”

“Main use message kar deti hoon.”

“Waise kaafi chhoti umra se phone dila rakha hai aapne use.”

“Convenient rahta hai. Main hamesha uske paas rah nahin sakti. To tasalli rahti hai ki kabhi bhi baat kar sakti hoon. Aur use bhi koi problem ho to call kar sakti hai.”

“Nidhi… Lunch par kahin chalna chahogi?”

“Ji?” Nidhi was caught unawares.

Her reaction made Ashutosh awkward and nervous. “Maine… lunch… ke liye… poochha bas,” He stuttered.

“Haan. Lekin… abhi… aise?” Nidhi was equally awkward.

Ashutosh mentally chided himself. Then tried to do some damage control, “Nahin. It’s okay. Maine to aise hi poochh liya. Agar aap nahin jaana chahti to…”

“Aisa nahin hai Sir,” Nidhi also chided herself for throwing away a chance she should have cherished, “Main to… bas… ye kah rahi thi… Haan… ki Rahul uth jayega to hamein dhoondhega.”

“Hum abhi niklein to early lunch kar ke wapas aa sakte hain, uske jagne tak. Aur main Rahul ki maid aur Armaan ko bol ke jaunga ki mujhe phone kar de woh uth jaye to.”

“Phir… theek hai…”

“Kahan chalein?”

“Mujhe nahin pata…”

“Koi to favourite jagah hogi aapki?”

“Siddhi ko Pizza Hut jaana pasand hai.”

“Pizza Hut?” Ashutosh laughed slightly, “Woh to bahut crowded hogi.”

“Aap hi decide kijiye na, Sir. Main bahar kam hi jaati hoon.”

“Theek hai. Main abhi aata hoon.”

—

“Aapko kya pasand hai khane mein?” Ashutosh asked Nidhi once they were seated in a fancy Indian restaurant.

“Siddhi to apne doston ke saath hamesha chicken tikka kha kar aati hai…”

“Main Siddhi ki nahin, tumhari pasand ki baat kar raha hoon.”

“Meri?”

“Ji haan. Aapki.”

“Mujhe pata nahin.”

“Come on Nidhi. Kucch to pasand hoga. Bhale hi aapne bahut dinon se khaya na ho…”

“Kofte. Malai kofte pasand hain mujhe,” Nidhi spoke suddenly and looked very sad.

“Kya hua Nidhi?” Ashutosh was concerned.

She shook her head, “Kuchh nahin. Bas yaad aa gaya… Mummy banati thi. Jab khush rahti thi… Bas khush rahti hi bahut kam thi…”

“Kyon? Kya problem thi?”

“Mere Mummy-Papa ne apne ghar waalon ki marzi ke khilaaf shaadi ki thi. Papa ke rishtedaaron se to phir bhi baat hone lagi thi baad mein. Kuchh log meri aur Siddhi ki responsibility lene ke liye bhi taiyaar the. Mummy ke yahan ke log to unki death ke baad bhi nahin aaye. Shaadi to unhone apni marzi se ki, lekin unki kabhi bani nahin. Pardon ke color se le kar, khane mein kya banega aur bachche kis school mein jayenge – har cheez par unka jhagda hota tha. Lekin bahar waalon ke saamne accept nahin kar sakte the ki unke beech problem hai. Shaan se ghar waalon se jhagda kar ke shaadi ki thi. Phir alag ho jaate to unki izzat par daag lag jaata. Aur phir gaye tab jab unke sar par do bachchon ki responsibility thi. Hamare baare mein nahin socha unhone. Aur jo izzat alag na ho kar bachane ki koshish kar rahe the, woh kya suicide karne se bach gayi? Unhein nahin jhelna pada, hamein unki izzat ki keemat chukaani padi. Agar alag ho jaate to kam-se-kam…” she choked on her words.

Ashutosh saw the waiter approaching them for taking their order. He gestured him to wait and shifted his chair closer to Nidhi’s. He held her hands and pressed them. “Calm down, Nidhi.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why should you be sorry?”

“Main apni life ke issues mein aapko kyon involve karti ja rahi hoon!”

“Kyonki main involve hona chahta hoon.”

“Kyon? Sirf isliye ki maine kabhi apne hosh kho kar aapse kuchh aisa kah diya tha jo aapko kabhi manzoor nahin hoga…”

“Nidhi…”

“Aap obliged nahin hai mere liye kuchh bhi karne ke liye. Kyon kar rahe hain aap ye sab? Kyon baithe hain hum yahan? Kyon aapne gaadi bheji Siddhi ko lene ke liye. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Kyonki shayad koi connection hai hamara.”

Nidhi looked up at him in surprise.

“Nidhi. Mujhse ye mat poochhna ki main is connection ko kya naam doon. Lekin ye hai, isse main inkaar nahin kar sakta. Kya hum friendship aur trust ka rishta nahin rakh sakte? Ek doosre ki zimmedaariyan share nahin kar sakte? Please!”

Nidhi just nodded.

“Ek kaam karo. Washroom jao aur munh dho kar aao. Tab tak main khaana order karta hoon.”

“Ji.”

When Nidhi came back, she saw a plate of Malai Kofta at the center of the table. She smiled at Ashutosh.

“Aapki favourite dish kya hai, Sir?”

“Meri?”

“Haan. Aapki?”

He smiled, “Woh restaurant mein nahin milegi. Main aapko ghar par khilaunga kabhi.”

Rahul was sitting on a sofa with Armaan in the hall when they came back from lunch.

“Armaan. Tune phone nahin kiya, Rahul jag gaya tha to?” Ashutosh asked him.

“Ab itne bhi bekaar nahin hai hum ki thodee der apne bhateeje ka khayaal na rakh sakein. Rahul bore nahin hua aap logon ki absence mein. Kyon Rahul?”

“Papa. Armaan Uncle ne mujhe ek song sikhaya.”

“Achchha. Kaun sa song?”

“Sunaun?”

“Zaroor.” Ashutosh and Nidhi both said in chorus and sat down on another sofa.

“Na umra ki seema ho,
Na janm ka ho bandhan.
Jab pyaar kare koi,
Tab dekhe kewal man.
Nayi reet chala kar tum,
Meri preet amar kar do.

Hothon se chhoo lo tum
Mera geet amar kar do….
Aage kya tha Armaan Uncle?” Rahul forgot the lines after this.

“Koi baat nahin Rahul. Itna kaafi hai,” Armaan grinned.

Ashutosh was glaring at Armaan. While Nidhi bit her lips and looked nervously from Ashutosh to Armaan. Suddenly she noticed Rahul looking expectantly at them.

“Rahul ne bahut achchha gaaya,” she said and embraced Rahul.

“Haan beta,” Ashutosh also realized that he needed to talk to Rahul, “Aapne bahut achchha gaaya. Bas Armaan Uncle ka song selection thoda kamzor hai.” Ashutosh was obviously angry at Armaan’s prank.

Nidhi decided to let the friends deal with it and took Rahul to his room.

Ashutosh came there after a while with two cups of tea. For himself and her.

“I’m sorry about Armaan,” he said in a low voice, when Rahul was busy with a puzzle.

“Doston ke pranks par itna pareshaan hone ki zaroorat nahin hai. Ab ye baatein mujhe aapko to nahin samjhaani padni chahiye,” she replied with a smile.

Ashutosh also smiled looking relieved.

—

“Main car se school aaungi-jaungi?” Siddhi was surprised.

“Haan!” Nidhi was excited. Her eyes were shining.

“Lekin kaise?”

“Dr. Ashutosh ki car Rahul ke saath-saath tujhe bhi school se pick-up aur drop kar degi.”

“Aur tuitions?”

“Wahan bhi.”

“Lekin kyon Di?”

“Tu aam khane se matlab rakh, ped mat gin. Tujhe car mein school aana-jaana tha na. Dr. Ashutosh ne offer kiya to maine accept kar liya.”

“Lekin Di. Tum to kissi se help lena nahin pasand karti?”

“Dr. Ashutosh ki baat alag hai Siddhi.”

“Aur main tumse kuchh aur poochhongi, to tum gussa jaogi?”

“Haan. Kyonki kuchh aur poochhne ko hai nahin. Bas tu khush rah.”

—

“Dr. Nidhi!”

“Dr. Armaan. Aap? Yahan?” Nidhi was surprised to see Armaan in the hospital.

“Kyon nahin aa sakta kya?” Armaan teased her.

“Aisa kuchh nahin hai. Dr. Ashutosh apne office mein hi honge.”

“Main Ashu se nahin aapse milne aaya hoon.”

“Mujhse?”

“Ji. Thoda time hai aapke paas.”

“Haan. Zaroor. Priyanka. Main thodee der break le rahi hoon. Tu mere liye cover kar lena.”

“Sure.”

“Chaliye Dr. Armaan. Canteen mein chalte hain.”

—

“Main aapse maafi maangna chahta tha. Us din woh song waale prank ke liye…”

“Aap uske liye aaye hain? Iski koi zaroorat nahin hai Dr. Armaan. Maine us baat ka bura nahin maana.”

“I thought so. Aur main jaanta hoon ki aapne bura kyon nahin maana.”

“Ji?”

“Kyonki woh maane-na-maane, aap Ashu se bahut pyaar karti hain. Aur aapke oopar is baat ka farq nahin padta ki woh umra mein aapse kitna bada hai ya woh ek aath saal ke bachche ka baap hai.”

Nidhi’s face flushed, “Main Dr. Ashutosh ki bahut izzat karti hoon. Isse zyada main kuchh nahin kah sakti.”

“Main aapse kuchh kahne ko kah bhi nahin raha. Lekin aapne meri baat ko deny bhi nahin kiya. Isliye main maan kar chalta hoon ki main sach kah raha hoon.”

“Aap mujhse ye kahne aaye the?”

“Nahin. Main aapse ye kahne aaya tha ki Ashu bhi aapki bahut kadr karta hai, aapko bahu pasand karta hai, bhale hi woh umra ke faasle ki wajah se accept na kare, lekin aapse bahut pyaar karta hai. Aur use aapki bahut zaroorat bhi hai. Woh bahut akela hai.”

“Agar ye sab sach bhi hai, tab bhi… Jab woh mujhe accept nahin karte, to main khud ko unpar thop to nahin sakti?”

“Nahin. Lekin ho sake to give up bhi mat kijiyega. Aadmi apni zarooraton se, apni kamzoriyon se kab tak door bhagega? Aaj na kal use accept karna hi padega.”

Nidhi laughed slightly, “Aap to aise kah rahe hain ki unhein haar maanni padegi mujhe accept karne ke liye. Phir to woh bahut bura din hoga unke liye. Main us situation ke liye wish karoon ya na karoon?”

“Nahin. Woh uski zindagi ka sabse achchha din hoga. Aap dil se dua maangiye aur main bhi maangoonga. Abhi main chalta hoon. Aapko duty par wapas jaana hoga.”

—

To be continued

Ashutosh was lost in his thoughts sitting on an arm-chair. He had just come back after finishing his night duty.

“Papa!”

“Rahul. Beta aap kab jage? Aur apne kamre se kyon aa gaye?” He picked up his son and sat down with him on his lap.

“Papa! Nidhi Auntie se baat ki aapne? Woh kab aayengi?”

“Aaj unki bhi night duty thi beta. Aaj ya kal mein woh zaroor aayengi. Aapne brush kiya?”

“Nahin.”

“Chaliye. Main karwaata hoon. Aur aaj hum breakfast bhi saath mein karenge.”

“Okay Papa.”

“Aapko Dr. Nidhi bahut pasand hain?” Ashutosh asked while feeding him his breakfast.

“Haan.”

“Kyon?”

“Kyonki woh bahut achchhi hain.”

Ashutosh sighed. It was so simple with kids. People were either good, or bad. You want good people around and you don’t want bad ones. Only if life was so simple for adults too. What do you do with good people of wrong age?

“Ashu!” Armaan’s voice brought him out of his reverie. Rahul’s breakfast was done.

“Rahul. Beta aap jao apne kamre mein. Auntie ko bolo aapko nahla kar taiyaar karwa dein.”

“Okay Papa,” Rahul went away.

“Armaan. Tu kab utha?”

“Saaf-saaf bata de mere bhai, ye Dr. Nidhi Verma ka chakkar kya hai?”

“What?”

“Ashu, Maana ki kai dinon se hum mile nahin hain. Lekin bachpan se jaanta hoon tujhe. Rahul ne Dr. Nidhi ki kahaaniyan suna suna kar bore kar diya hai mujhe. Kuchh to teri bhi kahaani hogi, mere dost?”

“Aisa kuchh nahin hai Armaan.”

“To phir ye purane zamaane ki filmon ke heroines ki tarah nazarein kyon chura raha hai?”

Ashutosh laughed, “Tu kabhi nahin sudhrega Armaan.”

“Sudhre hue log agar aap jaise hote hain, to bade hi boring hote hain. Sudharna bhi nahin mujhe. Ek baat bata, jo ladki tere bachche ko itna chahti hai, teri itni care karti hai, uske baare mein itna confusion kyon hai tujhe? Rahul se kyon sawaal poochh raha tha?”

Ashutosh sighed and decided to come out clean, “Kyonki woh ladki mujhse solah saal chhoti bhi hai Armaan.”

“Lekin pyaar to woh tujhse karti hai.”

“Use aisa hi lagta hai.”

“Tujhe kaisa lagta hai?”

“Mujhe dar lagta hai. Khud ke liye nahin, uske liye. Marrying me can’t be fair to her Armaan. I am too old for her. Phir Rahul ki zimmedaari uske oopar daalna fair nahin hoga.”

“Lekin mujhe to aisa lagta hai ki woh already zimmedaari utha rahi hai uski.”

“Zimmedaariyan uthana uska second nature ban gaya hai. Khud satrah saal ki thi jab uske ma-baap ne suicide kar liya tha. Uski aankhon ke saamne. Lekin apni chhoti bahan ko khud hi paala hai usne. Apni padhai bhi ki hai…”

“You are obviously very impressed with her.”

“I am.”

“To phir bharosa rakh. Usne apne liye sahi hi faisla liya hoga Ashu.”

“Mera man nahin maanta.”

“Man to khoob maanta hai. Dimaag zyada chala raha hai tu.”

“Rahne de Armaan.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of door-bell.

“Dr. Nidhi aayi hain,” Hiraman Kaka announced after opening the door.

“Dr. Nidhi?” Ashutosh was surprised. Nidhi had entered the hall by then. “Aapki to night duty thi na. Aapko aaraam kar lena chahiye tha,” Ashutosh fussed over her. Armaan had difficulty suppressing his grin.

“Siddhi ko school bhejna tha Sir. To main soyi nahin. Maine socha ki Rahul se mil loon.”

“Breakfast kar lijiye.”

“Ghar par kar liya hai, Siddhi ke saath. Main Rahul ke kamre mein jaati hoon.”

“Apni sister ko ye akele hi paal rahi hain, right?” Armaan asked after Nidhi went away.

“Haan.”

“Aur woh abhi school mein hi hai. To abhi near future mein ye zimmedaari to khatam hone nahin waali. To tu bhi to inki madad kar sakta hai Ashu. Unki sister ki responsibilities uthane mein. Bura mat maanna, lekin even financially. Is zimmedaari ko share karne waale kitne log milenge Dr. Nidhi ko?”

Ashutosh was startled. He had never thought of it from that direction. Wasn’t Armaan right? He should help Nidhi with Siddhi’s responsibilities the way she was taking care of Rahul. This should happen irrespective of whether their relationship went anywhere or not.

—

Ashutosh went to Rahul’s room after freshening up. He saw both of them lying on his bed. Nidhi had fallen asleep with a story book lying on her side. Rahul was also silently lying down. But he wasn’t asleep. Ashutosh went to him and asked silently about what happened. Rahul gestured him to be silent and whispered, “Maine Nidhi Auntie ko sula diya.”

Ashutosh had to try hard to suppress his laughter. Then he whispered back and asked, “Kaise?”

“Story suna ke.”

Ashutosh grinned and hugged his son affectionately. He picked him up and brought him out of his room.

“Hum Dr. Nidhi ko sone dete hain aur mere kamre mein khelte hain. Okay?”

“Okay Papa.”

Nidhi woke up after a while and got nervous to not see Rahul around. She sprang out of the bed. She met Rahul’s maid outside the room and was relieved to know that he was with Ashutosh. She decided to say ‘bye’ to both of them and leave if Ashutosh was going to stay with Rahul. So, she went to Ashutosh’ room.

The door was open and both of them were lying on Ashutosh’ bed. Nidhi went closer and saw that Rahul was not asleep. She whispered, “Kya hua?” Rahul whispered back, “Maine Papa ko sula diya.” Nidhi laughed out loud before she realized that it would wake Ashutosh up.

“Kya hua?” Ashutosh asked still confused after his nap.

“Rahul bol raha tha ki usne aapko sula diya. Sorry. Mujhe hansi aa gayi aur aapki neend khul gayi.”

“Koi baat nahin. Aaj hum sab ki duty Rahul se exchange ho gayi hai. Usne aapko bhi sulane ka daawa kiya tha.”

They all broke into a laughter at this. Nidhi sat down on the bed and affectionately pulled Rahul in an embrace. Ashutosh could not help imagining a happy and complete family right there.

“Ab hum dono mil kar Rahul ko sulayenge, right Nidhi?” Ashutosh said.

Nidhi hesitated for a moment, then smiled.

“Mujhe abhi nahin sona.”

“Subah se aap khel rahe hain na beta. Abhi aaraam ka time ho gaya hai. Phir Auntie aapko khane ke waqt utha dengi. Okay?”

“Lekin mujhe abhi khelna hai.”

“Bas kuchh dinon ki baat hai Rahul,” Nidhi spoke this time, “Phir tum theek ho jaoge aur jitna chaho khel sakte ho. Abhi so jao please.”

“Theek hai,” Rahul was disappointed, but acquisced to Nidhi. He lied down as Nidhi gently patted his head to put him to sleep with Ashutosh lying on the other side of the bed.

—

Ashutosh picked Armaan up from the airport. When he came home and took him to Rahul’s room, both Nidhi and Siddhi were there. They greeted each other and Ashutoh introduced Armaan to Nidhi, “Nidhi. Dr. Armaan mere bachpan ke dost hain. Abhi WHO ke saath hain aur yahan usi ke silsile mein aaye hain. Hotel mein jane waale the. Last moment par kidnap kar ke main unhein ghar le aaya hoon.”

Nidhi laughed, “Ye to aapne bahut achchha kiya Dr. Ashutosh.”

“Aur ye hain Nidhi. Dr. Nidhi Verma. Kotnis mein intern hain. Rahul inhein din raat pareshaan kiye rahta hai. Khaas kar ke jab se bed-rest par gaya hai…”

“Aisa kuchh nahin hai, Sir.”

“Haan. Waise inhein bhi mazaa hi aata hai Armaan. Bachchon ke saath bahut enjoy karti hain. Aur ye hain Siddhi, Dr. Nidhi ki sister.”

Armaan shook hands with Nidhi and Siddhi. Then they turned their attention to Rahul.

“Aur ye hai hamara hero. Thoda pale hai aaj kal jaundice ki wajah se.”

“Lekin main jaldi theek ho jaunga, Papa.”

“Of course. Aapko Armaan Uncle yaad hain?”

“Nahin,” his childish frankness made everyone laugh.

“Kaise yaad hoga? Bahut chhota tha jab hum pichhli baar mile the,” Armaan said, “Chocolate to abhi main aapko de nahin sakta. To isliye aapke liye fruits laaya hoon.”

“Lekin main fruits kha-kha kar bore ho gaya hoon.”

It made everyone laugh again. But Nidhi chided him, “Rahul. Koi gift laata hai to aise nahin bolte. Thank you bolo.”

“Sorry Nidhi Auntie. Thank you Armaan Uncle.”

Armaan grinned, “Such a sweet boy. But don’t worry. Main abhi yahan kuchh dinon ke liye hoon. Jab aap theek ho jayenge, to hum aapko aapki favourite cheezein khilayenge.”

“Pastries bhi?”

“Haan Baba. Pastries bhi,” Nidhi assured him. Then turned to Armaan, “Dr. Armaan, aap baithiye na. Siddhi Hiraman Kaka se bol chai-naashte ka intezaam karein.”

Armaan looked at Ashutosh curiously, noticing Nidhi’s comfort at Ashutosh’ home, but Ashutosh avoided him. His own mind was riddled with questions. He didn’t want to face any from others.

Armaan was jovial by nature, and soon he had everyone in splits with his jokes and anecdotes. Suddenly he threw a question at Nidhi, “So, Dr. Nidhi. Aap aksar yahan aati rahti hain?”

“Ji?” Nidhi was embarrassed. Ashtutosh also fidgeted in his seat. Armaan observed both of them for a second, then diffused the tension, “Mera matlab hai ki agar aap aati-jaati rahti hain to mera bhi thoda man laga rahega. Warna is champu ke saath to mein bore ho jaunga.”

Siddhi and Rahul giggled at Armaan’s use of ‘champu’ for Ashutosh. Ashutosh glared at Armaan, while Nidhi grinned.

“Ji. Rahul ki tabiyat theek nahin hai aur bed-rest ki wajah se woh bore ho jaata hai. To main aur Siddhi kabhi-kabhi use company dene ke liye aa jaate hain. Siddhi aur Rahul ek hi school mein padhte hain.”

“Badhiya hai. Phir aisa kiijiye ki aap apna ye aana-jaana Rahul ke theek ho jaane ke baad bhi, jab tak main hoon yahan, zaari rakhiye.”

Nidhi threw a glance at Ashutosh and just smiled.

“Sir. Ab aap log aa hi gaye hain to main chalti hoon. Rahul ki shaam ki dawai de di hai. Ab bas sone ke pahle deni hai.”

“Dinner kar ke jaiye.”

“Nahin Sir. Hum ghar jaayenge.”

“Ghar waale intezaar kar rahe honge, right?” Armaan chipped in jovially.

Nidhi’s face fell, Siddhi also looked disturbed and Ashutosh became tongue-tied.

“Lekin Nidhi Auntie aur Sidhi ke ghar par to aur koi nahin hai,” Rahul spoke, incapable of realizing the sensitivity of the matter at his age.

Their faces and Rahul’s statement made Armaan realize his faux-pas. But before he could say anything, Rahul spoke again, “Ruk jaiye na Nidhi Auntie.”

“Aaj nahin beta,” Nidhi smiled at him and caressed his cheek, “Siddhi ko bhi homework karna hai na. Aur mujhe bhi kaam hai. Lekin main phir aaungi. Aur tumhare liye wooden cart bhi laungi. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Bye Dr. Armaan, Dr. Ashutosh. Chal Siddhi.”

“Ashutosh. I am sorry, yaar. Dr. Nidhi ke parents nahin hain kya?” Armaan asked when Rahul was not around.

“Nahin. Unki death kaafi pahle ho gayi thi.”

“Oh God! I should apologize. She must be hurt.”

“Don’t worry Armaan. She is too tough to be hurt like that. Main baat kar loonga zaroorat padegi to.”

—

“Aap aayin nahin pichhle 3-4 dinon se ghar par?” Ashutosh walked into the common room. Nidhi was on the night duty and sitting there alone.

“Sir?” she stood up startled.

Ashutosh smiled, “Aap phir chaunk gayin? Abhi to maine koi mushkil sawaal nahin poochha. Rahul aapke liye poochh raha tha.”

“Nahin Sir. Bas… time nahin mila. Siddhi ke exams aa rahe hain. To uske saath baithna padta hai. Otherwise uska dhyaan nahin lagta padhai mein.”

“Woh manage karna to aap jaanti hain, I am sure. Apne exams ke saath bhi to aapne uske exams manage kiye honge.”

“Mujhe nahin pata aap kya kahna chahte hain?” Nidhi didn’t argue.

“Aapko Armaan ki baat ka bura lag gaya kya?”

“Nahin. Usmein bura maanne ki kya baat hai.”

“Phir kya hua hai?”

Nidhi sighed, “Dr. Armaan aapke ghar par ruke hain. Mera baar-baar aana ajeeb lagega.”

“Aur Rahul?”

“Mere paas ek wooden toy cart hai bachpan se. Maine use promise kiya tha ki uske liye le jaungi. Mere paas hai abhi. Aap woh le jaayenge please?”

“Promise to aapne use aane ka bhi kiya tha.”

“Main kya karoon? Aap hi bataiye.”

“Rahul aapko miss kar raha hai.”

“Main kya karoon, Dr. Ashutosh?”

“Mere baare mein sochna chhod dijiye.”

“Woh koi problem nahin hai.”

“Of course hai.”

“Kyon hai? Main aapse to kuchh nahin kah rahi.”

“Na kahne se koi cheez khatam to nahin ho jaati?”

“Insist karne se bhi khatam nahin ho jaati. Aur jab main aapko kissi cheez ke liye insist nahin kar rahi, to aap mujhe kyon kar rahe hain?”

“This is disastrous.”

“Aur hum ye baat kyon kar rahe hain? Aap to Rahul ki baat karne aaye the na?”

“Mujhe nahin pata,” Ashutosh sounded frustrated and got up to leave.

“Dr. Ashutosh!” Nidhi spoke softly now, “Aap please aise pareshaan mat hoiye. Aap jo kahenge main karoongi. Mere issues ki wajah se Rahul suffer kare, aisa main nahin hone doongi. Agar maine is wajah se kuchh kiya hota, to main pahle hi aana chhod deti. Lekin maine aisa to nahin kiya! Main wakai Dr. Armaan ki wajah se nahin aa rahi thi. Kyonki mujhe laga ki meri presence ghar par aapke liye awkward aur uncomfortable ho sakti hai. Lekin agar aapko aisa nahin lagta, to main Rahul ke liye zaroor jaungi.”

“Kyon itna karti hain aap Rahul ke liye?”

“Pata nahin. Siddhi ke drama group mein main aur bhi bachchon se mili. Lekin nobody else took to me like he did. Maine to bas reciprocate kiya,” she laughed slightly and added, “Koi connection hoga hamara – agar aisa kuchh hota hai to.”

“Meri wajah se woh connection too na jaye,” Ashutosh looked thoughtful.

“Sir. Main Rahul se aapse pahle mili thi. To aapko is baat se darne ki zaroorat nahin hai ki hamari complications se kabhi mere aur Rahul ke rishte par farq padega. Aisa nahin hoga.”

“Mujhe kabhi-kabhi samajh mein nahin aata hai ki mujhe kiski chinta zyada hoti hai. Aapki ya Rahul ki?”

“Meri chinta kyon kar rahe hain aap? Main koi pyaar mein ruswa ho kar jaan nahin de rahi. Mere oopar Siddhi ki responsibility hai.”

“Mujhe bhi aapke jaan dene ki parwaah nahin hai. Aapki zindagi ki parwaah hai. Aaj Sidhhi aapki responsibility hai. Kal ko woh badi ho jayegi, apne raaste jayegi. Kya tab aap akeli nahin rah jayengi?”

“Ye to aapke saath bhi hoga na, Sir? Rahul koi hamesha aath saal ka bachcha to nahin rahega.”

“Yahi farq to aapko samajhne ki zaroorat hai. Aapke saamne aapki poori zindagi hai. Aapke saamne possibilities. Mere liye woh samay nikal gaya hai, Nidhi.”

“To main kya karoon? Apni umra ke kissi bhi ladke ko pakad kar usse shaadi kar loon?”

“Nahin. Main ye nahin kah raha. Ek to abhi itni jaldi shaadi karne ki zaroorat nahin hai aapko. Doosre jab bhi karein, apni umra ke kissi bhi ladke se karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Usse karein jiske saath aap identify kar sakti hain. Lekin us insaan tak pahunchne ke liye aapko apne raaste khule rakhne honge.”

“Aur main apni umra ke logon ke saath identify nahin karti. Immature lagte hain mujhe sab ke sab.”

“Woh understandable hai. Mostly aapki umra ke logon ne itni responsibilities nahin uthayi hoti hai.”

“Wajah jo bhi ho. Lekin main jo ban gayi hoon, woh ban gayi hoon Dr. Ashutosh. Mummy-Papa ka suicide, ya Siddhi ki responsibility, jo bhi wajah ho… main apni umra ke aur logon ki tarah nahin hoon. Aur nahin ban sakti. Kyonki innocence aur inexperience bazaar mein nahin milte. Kya ismein koi burai hai? Aur agar hai to kya ismein meri koi galti hai? Bataiye mujhe?”

“Nahin. Na hi ismein koi burai hai, na hi aapki koi galti.”

They silently stared at each other for a few moments. Tears came to Nidhi’s eyes. Then she blinked them back.

“Dr. Ashutosh,” she averted her eyes and spoke slowly and deliberately, “Main aapko apni zindagi aur apni zimmedaariyon ke liye zimmedaar nahin banana chahti. Agar mere aas paas hone ki wajah se aap pareshaan hain to iska kuchh karne ki zaroorat hai. Shayad hamein Rahul ko samjhaane ki zaroorat hai…”

“Nahin,” Ashutosh interrupted, “Kuchh bhi karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Aap please Rahul se milna band mat kijiye. Main use bol doonga ki aap uski wooden cart ke saath usse milne aa rahi hain.” Ashutosh walked out of the room without giving Nidhi a chance to say anything.

—

To be continued

“Di. I don’t believe it. Tum mujhe shopping karne ke liye saath mein le kar aayi ho. Aur woh bhi street side bargain shops mein nahin, is mall mein?”

“Mujhe ek dhang ki dress chahiye Siddhi. Main kya karoon?”

“To main ye thode hi na kah rahi hoon ki tum kuchh galat kar rahi ho. Main to bas surpried hoon. Kuchh to change ho gaya hai tumme?”

“Achcha hai ya bura?”

“Jab tak mujhe bekaar mein daanto na, achchha hi hai.”

“Ek baar daanta tha, uske liye kya mujhe zindagi bhar taane milenge?”

“Nahin baba. Chalo. Kya khareedna hai tumhein?”

“Salwaar-kameez theek rahegi na? Dinner par jaane ke liye?”

“Haan. Chalo tumhein ek stylish si salwaar-kameez khareedwai jaye. Waise Di, ek baat poochhoon? Bura to nahin maanogi?”

“Kya?”

“Tum aur Dr. Ashutosh… Kuchh baat hai kya?”

“Zyada bak-bak mat kar Siddhi. Main bas… unki bahut respect karti hoon.”

“Okay. Nahin karti bak-bak. Maine to bas aise hi poochha. Chalo. Is shop mein chalte hain. Achchhe designs dikh rahe hain showcase mein.”

—

“Rahul? Tum yahan kaise?” Ashutosh was surprised to see Rahul in his office. He was still in his school-uniform.

“Sir. Main le aayi.”

“Kyon?”

“Aaj meri duty nahin thi, to main Siddhi ko lene chali gayi. Rahul ko dekh kar mujhe laga ki ise checkup ki zaroorat ho sakti hai.”

“Kya suspect kar rahi hain aap?”

“I hope I am wrong, lekin Sir… jaundice ho sakta hai.”

“Achcha kiya aap le aayin. Main bhi kal yahi soch raha tha. Lekin aaj checkup ke liye la nahin paya.”

“Koi baat nahin, Sir. Main samples dilwa deti hoon.”

“Okay. Thanks Nidhi.”

Nidhi’s and Ashutosh’ suspicions were correct. Rahul was suffering from jaundice and needed full bed rest for recovery apart from the medicines.

Ashutosh maintained outward calm, but Nidhi could sense that he was disturbed.

“Sir. Aap pareshaan kyon ho rahe hain? Bilkul early stages mein detect ho gaya hai. Zyada din nahin lagenage theek hone mein ise.”

“I know. As a doctor I know. But as a parent I don’t know how to manage. Something as simple as full bed-rest for someone as active as Rahul. It’s… going to be tough.”

“I know. Lekin aap ghabraiye mat. Jab bhi possible hoga, main uske saath rahoongi.”

“That’s very sweet of your Nidhi. Lekin aaple oopar already itni zimmedaariyan hain.”

“Aap chinta mat kijiye, Sir. Siddhi ab badi ho gayi hai. Itna samajhti hai. Aur woh bhi Rahul ko company de sakti hai ghar par. Of course, agar aapko aitraaz na ho.”

“Mujhe kyon aitraaz hoga? Lekin aap khud hi dhyaan rakhein ki aapki life disturb na ho.”

“Nahin hogi, Sir.”

—

“Chalo tumhari drawing book dekhte hain,” Nidhi proposed to engage Rahul.

“Okay. Main abhi laata hoon,”

“Tum mujhe bata do kahan hai, main le aati hoon. Tumhein zyada bhaagne-daudne ki manahi hai na.”

“Main kab theek hounga Nidhi Auntie?”

“Bahut jaldi. Abhi batao mujhe… Ye hai tumhari drawing book?” Nidhi pulled out a book from Rahul’s shelf.

“Haan. Wahi hai.”

Ashutosh stopped at the door and watched as Rahul walked her through the trees, cottages, rivers, sun, mangoes and other thing he had drawn.

He stiffened when he heard Rahul mention family, “Aur ye hai meri family.”

Nidhi was also awkward. She did not ask him any quetions like she did in earlier drawings. But Rahul went on, “Ye Papa. Ye Rahul. Aur ye… Meri Mummy to hain nahin. Lekin mere teacher ne aise hi drawing sikhayi hai.”

“Tum apni Mummy ko miss karte ho?” Nidhi could not help asking.

To her surprise, he shook her head, “Nahin. Mujhe Mummy ke baare mein kuchh yaad nahin hai. Lekin Mummy hoti to achchha hota.”

“Kyon?”

“Mummy hoti to mujhe beemaari mein akele nahin rahna padta. Papa hamesha nahin rahte.”

“Papa ko kaam hota hai na Rahul. Aur Mummy hoti to unhein bhi kaam par jaana hota,” Nidhi tried to reason with him.

“Sumit ki Mummy bhi kaam karti hain. Lekin jab uska accident hua tha to uske Papa ya Mummy mein se ek hamesha uske saath rahta tha.”

Nidhi got emotional and pulled him in a hug.

Ashutosh’ stiff expressions changed to those of worry on hearing Nidhi, “Agar main tumhare saath rahoon to?”

“Meri Mummy ki tarah?”

“Would you like that, Rahul?”

“Dr. Nidhi!” Ashutosh had to speak finally. Nidhi was startled. She looked at Ashutosh for a moment, then ran away from there. Ashutosh went to Rahul and asked after his health. Then he called his maid to be with him and went out to find Nidhi, hoping that she hadn’t left.

She hadn’t. She was pacing nervously in the hall. She stopped and stood still when she saw him. The expressions on her face gave nothing away.

“Kya kah rahi thi aap Rahul ko?”

She continued to stand still with downcast eyes and did not reply.

“Main kuchh poochh raha hoon tumse.”

Silence.

“Of all the people tum… tumhein pata hona chahiye ki ek broken family mein bachche ko bada karna kitna mushkil hota hai, kitne mushkil sawaalon ke jawaab dene padte hain, kitni mehnat karni padi hai ye ensure karne mein ki use kabhi apne baare mein, apne parivaar ke baare mein bura mahsoos na ho. Aur jahan tak ho saka hai maine ye sab karne ki koshish ki hai. I’m sorry. I’m sorry ki woh phir bhi in ghar mein Ma ki kami mahsoos karta hai. Lekin us kami se woh cope kar raha hai, Nidhi. Kyonki woh uski life ka hard truth hai. Lekin agar use koi sapna dikha diya, jo poora nahin hua, to usse woh cope nahin kar payega. Kyon dikha rahi ho aise impossible sapne use? Soch kya rahi thi tum?”

“Main… Sir… I am… sorry…” Nidhi mumbled quite scared by his outburst.

“Itna bhadda mazaak us bachche ke saath kaise kar sakti ho tum? Jaan chhidakta hai woh tum par.”

She finally looked up with her tear-filled eyes and met his for the first time during the conversation, “Main bhi to chhidakti hoon apni jaan. Us par bhi aur aap…” In a split second Ashutosh went from being angry, to being confused to being awkward at the realization of what she said, or rather what she left unsaid.

“What? Kya kah rahi ho tum? Pagal ho gayi ho?”

“I am sorry,” she wiped her tears with the back of her hand and made to leave. This was all a mistake.

“Wait. Nidhi,” he grabbed her hand to stop her from going, then found it awkward and let it go. She stopped though. “Bhaagna to koi tareeka nahin hai kissi bhi problem ko suljhane ka.”

“Mujhe koi problem nahin hai.”

“Problem nahin hai to ro kyon rahi ho?”

“Kyonki… mujhe Rahul ko aise nahin bolna chahiye tha aur aap shayad mujhe iske liye maaf nahin karenge.”

“Rahul ko main sambhaal loonga. Lekin jis raaste par tum ja rahi ho, use dekh kar mujhe tumhari chinta ho rahi hai.”

“Kyon?”

“Kyon? Tumhein nahin pata, kyon? Tumhari aankhon par parda pada hua hai. Infatutation ka.”

“Infatuation hone ki meri umra nahin rahi.”

“Kisne kah diya nahin rahi. How old are you? 22? 23? Main har saal tumhari umra ke logon ko supervise karta hoon…”

“Dr. Ashutosh. Please…”

“Look Nidhi,” Ashutosh softened and spoke calmly, “It’s not unusual. At this age… Falling in love… With an authority figure… I’m sure you have seen the infatuation of students with their teachers. Mostly ye harmless hoti hain. Lekin jis situation mein tum ho, jis situation mein main hoon… Ye fantasies tumhein problem mein daal sakti hain. Aur fantasies sachchai mein nahin badalti. I am a 38 year old man with a growing son to take care of. You must find someone more suitable for you…”

“Mere liye to aapne saare decisions pahle se hi le liye hain. Lekin aapko apne liye kya lagta hai?”

“Matlab?”

“Matlab aap kya sochte hain apni zindagi ke baare mein? Kya aapko kissi ki zaroorat hai? Kya aapki zindagi mein mere liye koi jagah hai?”

“Nidhi!”

“Maine aapko surprise kar diya hai. I won’t insist on an answer now. Mujhe koi jaldbaazi nahin hai.”

“Nidhi… Tum…”

“Kya main kuchh der Rahul ke saath aur baith sakti hoon?”

He nodded and went to his room. But soon he came out and observed her with Rahul again. She was reading him a story and putting him to sleep. After he fell asleep, she bent down and kissed him on forehead. She mumbled something which seemed like ‘I am sorry’ to Ashutosh. He stepped away from the door so that she did not see him standing there when she left.

Ashutosh went back to his room and started thinking. She had asked him a question. Did he need somebody in his life? As such it wasn’t difficult to answer. Did he need somebody? Yes – he did. But could he have somebody? That was the difficult question. Outwardly he made fun of his failed marriage, but inwardly he was scarred by it. After all, at one point of time, marrying Ranjeeta had seemed like the right thing to do. It, obviously, wasn’t so. If he thought only about his loneliness, he would have risked loving and marrying again. But Rahul? He was very young when Ranjeeta had left. It had been relatively easy to get him accustomed to living without her. If something went wrong again? If he never bonded with the woman he brought in his life? If he did bond, but…

It was all just too complicated. It had become easier to live a life devoted to work and Rahul, instead of trying to fill the gap that existed in both their lives. After Baba died, there was nobody to pester him about the second marriage either. So, life had fallen into a rhythm and nobody had disturbed it till then.

But then Nidhi happened. The girl, who was such a combination of strength and bitterness that it made no sense. And then one fine day she had appeared in Rahul’s life out of nowhere. Nidhi Auntie! Ashutosh had heard him talk about her. But never even in his dreams could he have imagined that the Nidhi his son fawned over was the same Dr. Nidhi, who never even smiled. But she did smile… With Kids, with Siddhi and with Rahul. And she bonded with him. She had been a mother and a father to her sister and she managed to be a mother-figure to Rahul. That too at such a young age… Age!! Wasn’t that THE problem? They were almost a generation apart. It was unthinkable… And yet! She had thought about it. She had been thinking about it for a while. Her sudden reticence and curtness on his birthday now made sense. And she thought of it as a real possibility. Otherwise she wouldn’t have spoken of it before Rahul. So, the ball came back to his court. What did he want? Did he want somebody? Did he want her?

Should he want her?

—

To be continued