Mish' Fiction

Rupali was trying hard to concentrate on her work in the ward. “In that case, if I ask you to take care of her, it won’t be a burden for you, will it?” Sabyasachi’s words wouldn’t leave her and they were making her go red in embarrassment. For the first time, she felt a surge of anger for him. How could he? How could he practically beg to Dr. Khanna like that for her? It didn’t work for her self-respect. And it did not work for how much she cared about Paritosh’ well being. She had been listening to their conversation standing outside his office. She shouldn’t have, but she couldn’t help. Her Kaku and Dr. Khanna were having a personal conversation. It had to be about her! She cringed as it went on. And finally after that moment of begging by Sabyasachi, she had to run away. She understood Sabyasachi’s desire, even a need, to do something for her. To compensate. But he wasn’t helping this way. He should just leave her alone. And Dr. Khanna too. He has already done so much for her… Thrusting her responsibility on him officially would be the last thing she wanted to happen.

“Next tablet at 3 pm please sister,” she deliberately jerked herself out of her thoughts and concentrated on the patient chart she was looking at.

“Sure Dr. Banerjee,” came nurse’s brisk reply.

Ah! The professional conversation. It was comfortable, familiar and there was nothing awkward about it. That is what she would think about. The work! Otherwise, the world was ready to drive her mad. As if she already didn’t have enough to… Concentrate Rupali, concentrate. Next patient…

—

Paritosh was in the lobby when Rupali came out after finishing her duty to sign in the duty register.

“Good evening, Sir,” she greeted him in a calm voice, although she was dreading meeting him. She had managed to avoid it all day. But for how long?

“Good evening, Rupali. You are done?”

“Yeah.”

“I was also about to leave. I can drop you home.”

Rupali sighed. So, the begging was bearing fruits already.

“I am not going home,” she lied.

“Where are you going?”

She had spoken without thinking. Now, she had to think on her feet again. “To see Dr. Mathew,” she spoke and then regretted that too.

“You already got an appointment? I thought his clinic was quite busy.”

Damn! He would find out.

“Anyway,” he continued, “I can drop you there. I had to meet my CA anyway. Some of the business papers need my signature. He lives in that part of the town. Come with me.”

Rupali followed him feeling out of her wits. This was ridiculous. She finally confessed when he pulled out of the hospital parking lot, “Dr. Khanna. I don’t have an appointment. You can drop me home.”

He didn’t look surprised, “And my CA doesn’t live there. Why did you lie?”

“I didn’t want to bother you with this dropping me home business, that’s all.”

“Rupali. I am not as wise, rational, strong as you make me to be. If you push me away this strongly, I will not be able to hold my position. I will go away. Because at the very least, I wouldn’t like to do to you what Rohan did. I wouldn’t like to impose on you, to suffocate you…”

“Please don’t compare yourself to Rohan. It is an injustice to you, and to my ability to discern.”

“All I want to say Rupali is that… I would like it if you let me stay around.”

“I can’t Dr. Khanna,” her eyes were glued to her lap and she was biting her lips.

The disappointment and rejection made Paritosh flush. But he asked calmly, “Can I ask why?”

“I feel like a broken tape recorder, but still… I can’t let you stay and fuss over me or worry about me because… well you see what I am. A messed up person. And is it a surprise that I don’t want anyone else saddled with my mess? Much less someone I really respect and adore…” she stopped. She would reveal more than she intended to.

“There is… Okay look,” he pulled over on finding some space where he could park the car for a while. A moving car wasn’t the best place to have such a conversation, “Where is the mess Rupali? It is all behind you. Rohan is out of your life. His parents don’t grudge you. They, in fact, care for you. There is no mess. Not any longer. You are out of it.”

“If there is no mess, why does anyone need to worry about me? Why do I have to… see a psychiatrist…”

“Your logic would do a great disservice to your own profession Dr. Banerjee,” Paritosh smiled amusedly, “Someone falls ill. He needs the help of a doctor. Sometimes it could be a condition long in existence, which did not get detected or got ignored earlier. Would you say that his life is in a mess, his family should not be by his side, or that he should not be making friends or living his life?”

Rupali looked up at him in amazement. She spoke after a while in a low, deliberate tone, “You say things like those and you want me to believe that you are not wise, rational?”

Paritosh tensed a little, “Rupali. I have a messed up confession to make about that.”

She looked at him questioningly.

“When you say that, you make me nervous.”

“Nervous?”

“Yes. Nervous. Don’t get me wrong Rupali. There is nothing messed up about you or your life now. But history can not be wiped off. Your faith has been tried too many times. People have failed you. And I feel scared that I might end up doing that too. I feel particularly scared when you say things like those… It’s like you have such high expectations from me. It’s so easy to fall from the pedestal, Rupali.”

She stared wide-eyed at him. As the meaning of what he said dawned on her, she shook her head in part disbelief, part amusement. Then she spoke sincerely, “This is so unexpected. I had no idea I was worrying you for that. I am so sorry Dr. Khanna. Seriously. Please don’t take my appreciation to mean that you have to be on high-alert all the time.”

Paritosh let out a sigh. He had been holding his breath. “See, things are that simple. Sometimes you just have to talk and it all falls in place. Can we both not learn from it?”

Rupali nodded and smiled.

“So without any complexes, complications, issues, can we be friends?” he held his hand out to her.

She noticed the cuff-links. The helping hands have managed to reach her again, to be her strength, to be her support. She didn’t know what future held for her, or for him. But right now she was happy to reciprocate. She met his hand with hers. No complexes, no complications, no issues. Friends!

—

To be continued