Mish' Fiction

“Dr. Verma,” Nidhi received a call from the hospital, when she was having lunch with Siddhi and Rahul after their school, “Emergency hai hospital mein. We need more people. Please come over as quickly as you can.”

“Kya hua hai?”

“Ek school bus mein bomb blast hua…”

“Oh my God! Main abhi aati hoon… Siddhi. Rahul ke saath rahna aur tum dono kahin bahar mat jaana please.”

“Kya hua Di?”

“Kuchh school ke bachchon ka accident hua hai Siddhi. Tum please yahin rahna, jab tak main ya Dr. Ashutosh wapas na aayen. Please.”

“Theek hai Di. Tum ghabrao mat. Aur main Rahul ka bhi khayaal rakhoongi. Okay?”

Nidhi got emotional at this responsible side of Siddhi. She kissed her on the forehead, the kissed Rahul and left hurriedly.

—

The scene in the pediatrics department was nausea-inducing. But Nidhi walked through it with practiced calmness and went to meet Ashutosh who was already on-duty.

“I want you in the emergency Nidhi,” he said as soon as he saw her, “Senior doctors kam hain. Sab abhi pahunche nahin hain. You need to put things in order there.”

“No problems, Sir. Main abhi jaati hoon,” she immediately got on the job.

The situation was worse in emergency. Children with mutiliated bodies were in excruciating pain and were traumatized. One senior doctor was taking care of the patients in one room. Nidhi took charge of the other room. She directed the nurses and other staff to handle the immediate needs of the patients, while assessing the next treatment needed for them. She came across a little boy lying on the bed, who was not reacting at all. She immediately checked his pulse. He was alive. Given his injuries, his lack of reaction suggested that he had gone in a vegetative state. Nidhi sighed sadly as she instructed the nurse for treating his injuries.

The bomb was placed in the front of the bus killing the driver and another helper on the spot. Two kids were also dead; and twenty others were severely injured and being treated in the emergency. Nidhi disucssed some cases with the other doctor who was present. Of twenty, at least three cases looked quite hopeless. And then the kid in the vegetative state! For some reason that kid was disturbing Nidhi more than all the gore and blood around her did.

Parents of the kids had started coming in by then.

“We can’t have them here, Dr. Verma,” Dr. Sinha, the senior doctor on the duty, told her, “That will create a mess. We are already overloaded.”

“I’ll handle them Dr. Sinha,” Nidhi assured him and moved to the waiting area, where parents had been directed.

“Doctor,” they were quick to get hold of Nidhi as soon as they saw someone in a doctor’s coat and started asking about their children all together.

“Please meri baat suniye aap log,” Nidhi spoke in a raised, but controlled voice, “Hamein aapki cooperation chahiye aapke bachchon ki safty ke liye.” Everyone fell silent. She continued, “Mujhe maaloon hai aap sab logon ki halat kya ho rahi hai. Lekin aap ye bhi appreciate kijiye ki abhi un bachchon ka sahi treatment hum sabki top priority hai. Agar aap log abhi andar jaana chahenge, apne bachchon ko dekhna chahenge to usse treatment disrupt hoga. Aur ek-ek second abhi important hai.” Nobody said anything to oppose her, but some of them broke into tears and sobs as they realized that the kids were in danger. “Aap log please baith jaiye. Main ek-ek kar ke aapse paas aaungi aur aapko updates doongi. Aur please yaad rakhiye ki is samay aap sab logon ko ek-doosre ka support banna hai. Please baith jaiye.” She indicated to some hospital staff and they directed the parents to sit down on the waiting chairs. Those who could not find chairs, stood at the back.

Nidhi took her notes and started attending to the parents one by one. Fortunately for Nidhi, the parents of the dead kids had already been informed and the staff had attended to them. For all the parents present there, their kids were at least alive at that moment and hence there was hope.

“Ritesh Srivastava,” the woman told Nidhi the name of her son. This was the kid in the vegetative state. Something about the mother’s face distrubed Nidhi as much as the kid’s had done. She struggled to find the right words to describe Ritesh’ situation to her. Just then, to her relief, she heard Ashutosh’ voice.

“Nidhi. Are you all right?”

“Ashu,” the woman almost jumped at Ashutosh surprising Nidhi, “Mere bete ko kya hua hai? Please use bacha lo…”

“Ranju? Tum yahan… Aur kya hua Rahul ko?” he looked at Nidhi worried.

“Rahul?” Nidhi was surprised, “Rahul ghar par hai. Ye to… Oh! Oh my God! Ye Rahul ki Mummy hain?” And it suddenly dawned on Nidhi as to why Ritesh’ condition was disturbing her so much.

“Mera doosra beta Ashu… Ritesh…”

Ashutosh was relieved about Rahul, though he immediately felt guilty because the other kid Ranjeeta was worried about might be in grave danger. Ashutosh had no clue about Ranjeeta having another kid. Suppressing his curiosities, he turned to Nidhi, “Kya hua hai bachche ko?”

Nidhi silently handed him her notes. His facial expression changed as he read the notes.

“Baith jao Ranju,” he told his ex-wife gravely.

“Kya hua hai? Kahin woh…”

“No. He is alive,” he looked at Nidhi and taking his hint she made Ranjeeta sit down. “But he is in… what is called vegetative state.”

“Matlab?”

“Its like coma. But with some awareness…”

“Woh theek to ho jayega?”

Ashutosh looked at Nidhi. He hadn’t examined the boy himself. Although he could guess the answer. Nidhi spoke officially, “Predict karna impossible hai Ma’am. Theek ho bhi sakta hai aur nahin bhi… Use constant care ki zaroorat padega.”

“Kya main use dekh sakti hoon?”

“Abhi nahin… Hum uski injuries treat kar rahe hain emergency mein. Ek baar ward mein shift ho jaye phir main aapko bata doongi… Main andar jaati hoon Dr. Ashutosh. Dr. Sinha akele hai emergency mein.”

“Main bhi aa raha hoon thodi der mein.”

—

“Nidhi!” Ashutosh found Nidhi sitting by Ritesh’ bed and went to her, “Tum theek ho?”

“Of course,” Nidhi replied despite her feeling otherwise.

“Tum pareshaan ho… I know aise achanak Ranjeeta ka saamne aa jaana… I had no clue… Lekin tumhein pareshaan hone ki zaroorat nahin hai…”

“Dr. Ashutosh, please! I was surprised – yes. Lekin aapko mujhe reassure karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Main unki wajah se pareshaan nahin hoon.”

“Phir?”

“Bas aise hi…”

“Batao mujhe. I know ki situation bahut buri hai, lekin tum use handle kar leti ho…”

“Jis din apne Mummy-Papa ki khoon se sani bodies ko apne haathon se car mein daala tha, uske baad mujhe kuchh bhi pareshaan nahin karta… Lekin mujhe Ritesh ko dekh kar bahut bechaini ho rahi thi. Ab realize hua ki aisa isliye ho raha hai kyonki uski shakal… apni Ma se milti hai. Aur Rahul ki bhi… Mujhe Ritesh ko dekh kar Rahul ki yaad aa rahi thi…”

“Shakal uski jisse bhi milti ho Nidhi,” Ashutosh replied emotionally, “Rahul ki Ma tum ho. Jitni chinta tumhari aankhon mein dekh raha hoon uske liye, uski apni Ma ki aankhon mein kabhi nahin dekhi.” Nidhi felt overwhelmed at the compliment. They would have hugged, but they were in the emergency room filled with child victims of a bomb blasts. They silently acknowledged each other’s emotions and went back to their work.

—

To be continued

“Papa. Siddhi bhi hamare saath rahegi?” Rahul asked when they sat down for dinner.

“Siddhi Maasi,” Siddhi teased him.

Ashutosh smiled, “Haan. Tumhare bagal waala kamra Siddhi ka hoga.”

“Aur Nidhi Auntie ka kamra?”

Another round of laughter followed and Nidhi turned red in embarrassment.

“Nidhi Auntie ko apna kamra nahin milega Rahul,” Armaan offered an answer, “Woh tumhare Papa ke kamre mein hi rahengi.”

“Woh mere kamre mein bhi rah sakti hain. Wahan bahut jagah hai,” Rahul offered helpfully.

“Tu to gaya Ashu. Apne hi bete ke haathon,” Armaan murmured.

“Shut up Armaan.”

“Aap khichdi kyon le rahe hain, Dr. Ashutosh?” Nidhi asked when she saw Ashutosh serving himself khichdi instead of pizza.

“Mera pet bhara-bhara sa lag raha hai. Pizza khane ka man nahin kar raha. Khichdi hi theek rahegi. Light hai na.”

Armaan cleared his throat and winked at Nidhi. Siddhi also grinned. Nidhi smiled fondly. If she couldn’t celebrate, he won’t either!!

—

Armaan offered to take Siddhi and Rahul out after lunch. Ashuotsh and Nidhi agreed whole-heartedly. They needed some time to themselves.

“Tumhein aaraam karna chahiye,” Ashutosh told Nidhi after they were left alone.

“Aaraam hi to kar rahi hoon.”

“I mean bed par let jao.”

“Main yahin theek hoon.”

“Okay,” he sat down on the sofa beside her. They stayed silent for a few moments just looking at each other and smiling. “Kuchh bologi nahin?” he asked finally.

“Mujhe sab sapne jaisa lag raha hai.”

“Matlab bharosa nahin ho raha.”

“Sach-much nahin ho raha.”

He took her hands in his, “Maine bahut pareshaan kiya hai tumhein?”

“Nahin. Aapne bahut khushiyan di hain mujhe.”

“Main aaj se pahle ki baat kar raha hoon.”

“Main bhi.”

“Bahut generous ho tum. Aaj tak to maine tumhein sirf responsibilities di hain, aur denials…”

“Main explain karoongi ki aap shayad sochenge ki mera record baar-baar Mummy-Papa ke oopar atak jaata hai. Lekin kya karoon? Us incident ne mujhe jo bana diya hai, main aaj tak waisi hi hoon. Usne badal diya tha mujhe completely. I felt very useless Dr. Ashutosh jab Papa ne mujhe dekhne ke baad bhi khud ko goli maar li thi. Mere saamne. I felt worthless. Aur woh worthlessness ki feeling nahin jaati thi mere andar se. Jaise kissi ko meri kadr nahin hai. Main Siddhi ke liye zinda thi. Lekin mere liye zinda rahna shayad kissi ko gawara nahin hota…”

“Nidhi!”

“Itne saalon baad aapse aur Rahul se mil kar woh feelings dheere-dheere mere andar se jaane lagi… Main aapko shayad kabhi nahin samjha paungi ki what it means for me. Jab tak khud mahsoos na karo…”

“Tum shayad theek kah rahi ho. Main mahsoos nahin kar paunga ise tumhari tarah. Lekin tumne sahi samjha. Mere aur Rahul ke liye tum bahut important ho, bahut precious ho. To agar woh feelings tumhare andar thodi si bhi rah gayi hain, to unhein nikaal kar bahar phenk do. Pahle to main sirf tumhari professional competence se impressed tha. Lekin jitna tumhein jaana, utna hi tumse aur bhi impress hota gaya. Tumhari strength, maturity, sense of responsibility, sensitivity…”

“Ab thoda zyada ho raha hai…” she interrupted him with a smile.

“Nahin. Abhi to maine shuru bhi nahin kiya hai.”

“Meri taareef karna?”

“Tumse pyaar karna.”

Nidhi blushed, bit her lower lips and averted her eyes.

“Bazaar mein red colour ki kami pad jaayegi. Aaj tum itna blush kar rahi ho.”

“Aur aapko kya hua hai? Mujhe itna pareshaan kyon kar rahe hain aise baatein kar ke? Waise aapka iraada kab aur kaise badal gaya?”

“Ye abhi mat poochho. Phir kabhi bataunga.”

“Aapne mujhe abhi tak ye bhi nahin bataya hai ki aapki favourite dish kya hai.”

“Woh to main tumhein khilane waala tha. Lekin kabhi mauka hi nahin mila. Tum theek ho jao, phir Hiraman Kaka ko bolunga…”

“Naam to bata dijiye.”

“Hare chane ki kadhi aur methi muthiya.”

“Huh? Ye kya hai?”

“Isliye to kah raha tha ki kha kar dekhna.”

“Hiraman Kaka ko banana aata hai?”

“Haan.”

“Okay…”

“Kahan kho gayin?”

“Kahin nahin.”

“To kuchh bolo.”

“Ab main kya boloon? Aapse kuchh poochhti hoon to aap baad ke liye taal dete hain.”

“Hmmm…”

“Waise bolte rahna zaroori hai kya?”

“Nahin. Lekin bolti rahti ho to mahsoos hota rahta hai ki tum mere kareeb ho.”

“Achchha?”

“Lekin uska ek aur tareeka bhi hai.”

“Kya?”

“Ki main tumhein,” he put his arms around her and pulled her closer to himself, “apni baahon mein gher kar chup chaap baitha rahoon.”

“Achchha idea hai,” Nidhi blushed heavily, but managed to answer. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

—

Nidhi had sent Siddhi to Ashutosh’ place and had invited him over at hers. “Hamari official date hai,” she had told him.

She had bought a red saree and was wearing it when she opened the door. This time Ashutosh did not have to stop himself from openly staring at her and appreciating her beauty. But he was greeted with a surprised face, rather than a smiling one. It took him a moment to realize what had surprised her. His tie! A red tie!

Neither of them said anything until he had come inside and she had locked the door behind them.

“Ye tie…”

“Tum to gussa ho kar mujhe mera gift diye bagair hi chali aayi thi us din. Mujhe khud hi claim karna pada.” The package she had forgotten about on his birthday had this tie. She had bought it for him as a birthday gift. And then she had left abruptly and had completely forgotten about it. He had found the gift though, and had not forgotten it.

She smiled nervously, “Main to bhool gayi thi.”

“Main nahin bhoola…”

“Mujhe pasand aayi thi, lekin sure nahin thi ki aap pahnenge. Color thoda bright hai. Phir bhi maine khareed li. Mujhe laga ki…”

“Kya laga?” he prodded when she fell silent.

“Mujhe laga ki agar aap pahnenge to…”

“To?” Ashutosh had figured out what she meant, but still prodded to tease her.

“Kuchh nahin. Andar chaliye. Maine dinner khud banaya hai.”

“Tumne socha tha ki agar main ye pahnoonga to sirf tumahre liye pahnoonga?”

Nidhi gulped and did not say anything.

“Tumne bilkul sahi socha tha, Nidhi. Maine sirf tumhare liye hi pahni hai.”

She got emotional, went forward and hugged him. He was startled by her emotional reaction for a moment, then smiled and hugged her back.

“Chalo. ab andar chalte hain. Warna I am afraid dinner hamara intezaar karta rah jayega,” Ashutosh broke the hug and said teasingly. They walked inside hand in hand.

It was Ashutosh’ turn to be surprised when Nidhi uncovered a serving bowl kept on the dining table.

“Ye… kaise hai yahan par?” The bowl had his favourite hare chane ki kadhi with methi muthia.

Nidhi grinned.

“Tumhein to pata bhi nahin tha ki ye kya hota hai…”

“Maine Hiraman Kaka se poochha aur unse hi banana seekha.”

“Kab kar liya tumne ye sab? Abhi hardly ek hafta hua hai jab maine tumhein bataya tha…”

“Maine koi Taj Mahal nahin banaya hai Dr. Ashutosh. Kha kar to dekhiye. Pata nahin aapki pasand ka bana bhi hai ya nahin?”

“Nidhi. Ye mere liye Taj Mahal se badh ke hai. Taj Mahal banane ke liye Shahjahan ne, I am sure, ek bhi eent khud nahin utahyi hogi. Tumne itni mehnat ki… In fact tum hamesha mere liye itna kuchh karti ho…”

“To ab aadat daal lijiye. Main aapke liye isse bahut zyada karna chahti hoon. Aur hopefully karoongi.”

Ashutosh looked at her fondly as she served him and herself. He praised her cooking and Nidhi was happy to see him so happy!

He noticed her iPad lying on a table after they finished dinner and were sitting on the sofa. She had been carrying it with her almost all the time since he had given it to her. Her clinging to the iPad was adorable.

“Waise tum is iPad par kya karti ho?”

“Kuchh bhi to nahin,” she replied defensively, “Kyon poochhh rahe hain aap?”

Ashutosh could guess from her demeanour that she was trying to hide something. He decided to prod and tease her.

“Din bhar chipki rahti ho isse. Thodi curiosity to hogi na?”

“Ye kaisi baat hui?”

“Are. Bilkul genuine baat hai,” he picked the iPad up for the table and tried to switch it on.

“Nahin!” she tried to snatch it away from him, but Ashutosh evaded her.

“Aisa kya hai ismein?”

“This is not right Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi complained genuinely.

“Are Nidhi,” Ashutosh became concerned, “Main mazaak kar raha tha. Ye lo. Main nahin dekhoonga. Ab ye roni si shakal mat banao, please.”

She took it from him, but still did not look happy.

“Kya hua? Itna gussa? Main nahin dekhne waala tha baba. Main sirf tumhein chidha raha tha.”

“Aap dekhna chahte hain?” she asked.

“Haan. Lekin…”

“Kyon?”

“Kyonki main tumhare baare mein sab kuchh janna chahta hoon. Lekin tumhein pareshaan kar ke nahin.”

Nidhi became thoughtful, but Ashutosh thought she was still angry.

“Nidhi,” he spoke very softly, “Mujhe pata hai ki tumhein independently rahne ki aadat hai. Aur yakeen maano, main tumhari independence ko kabhi undermine nahin karoonga. Agar main kuchh janna chahta bhi hoon to tab tak intezaar karoonga jab tak tum khud mujhe batane mein comfortable nahin ho. Please ab gussa chhod do.”

“Main gussa nahin kar rahi. Bas soch rahi thi.”

“Kya?”

“Ki maine shayad over-react kiya.”

“Itna mat socho. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Main dikhati hoon aapko.”

“Sure?”

“Pata nahin. Lekin ye tha,” she showed him a folder of videos.

“Tum… Ramayan dekh rahi thi?” Ashutosh asked her in disbelief.

She nodded looking anxious about his reaction.

“Kyon?”

“Aapne ek baar mention kiya tha ye serial; aur uska reference meri samajh mein nahin aaya tha… isliye…”

“Nidhi??!!” Ashutosh exclaimed and stared at her wide-eyed.

“Ji?”

“Nahin,” he laughed at her innocent question, “Main tumse kuchh poochh nahin raha… Lekin tum bilkul pagal ho.”

She just pouted and did not reply.

“Nidhi. Tumhein ye sab karne ki zaroorat nahin hai…”

“To main kya karoon. Aap hi to hamesha pareshaan hote rahte the ki main aapse chhoti hoon…”

“Meri jo bhi pareshaani thi, ya jisse mujhe abhi bhi kabhi-kabhi dar lagta hai, woh ye nahin hai ki tum kissi purane serial ka reference na samajh pao. Woh ye hai ki…”

“Kya?”

“Ki main tumhein khush nahin rakh paunga, woh zindagi nahin de paunga jiski tum haqdaar ho… Jo tumhein chahiye hogi…”

“Lekin main bahut khush hoon.”

“To main bhi bahut khush hoon, Nidhi. Bahut zyada khush hoon. Tumhein ye sab karne ki zaroorat nahin hai…”

“Ab aap mere liye ek non-existent cheez la sakte hain, to main ek existing purana serial to dekh hi sakti hoon.”

“Pagal. Waise kaisa lag raha tha ye serial tumhein?”

“Sach bataun?”

“Haan.”

“Bahut boring. Kaun si language mein baat karte hain ye log aur kitni boring baatein karte hain?”

Ashutosh laughed, “To abhi ke abhi ise delete kar do. Koi zaroorat nahin hai dekhne ki. Hum koi sci-fi ya action movie dekhne chalenge.”

“Aapko pasand hain?”

“Haan. Mere paas time ho to main kuchh bhi dekh sakta hoon.”

“Aur aapko mujhe us farmhouse waale restaurant mein bhi le jaana hai.”

“Haan. Jis din tumhein neend nahin aa rahi ho bata dena,” Ashutosh teased her.

“Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi was embarrassed.

“Tumhein pareshaan karna kitna aasaan hai,” he grinned.

“Aur aapko bahut mazaa aata hai na mujhe chidhane mein?”

“Woh to aata hai.”

“Aap bahut bure hain.”

“Aur is bure insaan ko lekar tum almost obsessed ho.”

“Maine obsessed nahin hoon.”

“Agar nahin hoti to ek hafte se Ramayan nahin dekh rahi hoti.”

She sighed and gave up, “Haan. Hoon to, I guess.”

“Tumhein Ramayan dekhne ki zaroorat nahin hai,” Ashutosh started speaking seriously, then broke into a smile, “Lekin tumhara ye obsession mujhe bahut pasand hai.”

Nidhi smiled and blushed and leaned on to him. He pulled her closer and kissed her affectionately on her forehead.

“Siddhi wapas aane waali hogi,” she said after a while, “Maine usse kaha tha ki dus baje tak aa jaye.”

“Hmm… To mujhe jaana hoga.”

“Mat jaiye,” Nidhi looked up and said instinctively, then bit her lips in embarrassment.

“Rahul intezaar kar raha hoga.”

“Right. Waise kal meri night duty hai. Main school ke baad uske saath rahungi…”

“Nidhi. Tumhein bura nahin lagta ki main tumhein utna time nahin de paata…”

“Aap bhool rahe hain ki Rahul meri zindagi mein aapse pahle aaya tha. Usne mujhse, aur maine usse, mere aapko janne se pahle pyaar kiya hai.”

Ashutosh’ eyes moistened. He kissed her hands and could not help saying, “I love you, Nidhi.” Feeling overwhelmed, Nidhi hugged him and they separated only at the sound of the doorbell. Siddhi was back.

Ashutosh talked to Siddhi for a while and then left.

—

To be continued

“Woh mere haathon se nikalti ja rahi hai Dr. Ashutosh,” Nidhi was extremely worried and started talking on their way to the farmhouse, “Pahle hamesha mere saath rahna chahti thi… Ab to jaise mujhse door bhaagti hai… Har cheez friends ke saath karni hai. Har doosre din party… Mera uske school jaana bhi ab use pasand nahin hai… Pata nahin kaun friends hain uske… Maine kitni baar kaha ki unhein hamare ghar par bhi bulaye… Kam se kam mujhe pata to ho… Lekin nahin. Sab high-class friends hain uske. Unhein ghar bulane mein sharm aati hai use. Unhein treat bhi deti hai to bahar deti hai… Mujhe to shaq hai ki drinking aur smoking bhi try ki hai usne… Bas drugs ka chakkar na ho…”

“Nidhi. Calm down. You are imagining the worst…”

“Aaj kal pocket money dene ke alawa uski life mein mera koi kaam hi nahin hai… Pata nahin kya kar rahi thi party mein… Food poisoning to definitely hai… But dawai… dawai kahan rakhi maine? Oh God…”

“Maine rakh li hain dawaiyan. Dr. Nidhi. Shaant ho jaiye… Aap itna kyon ghabra rahi hain? Tabiyat kharaab hui hai. Theek ho jayegi…”

“Aaj ka din achchha nahin hai Dr. Ashutosh…”

Ashutosh stopped the car, turned towards the passenger seat and held her hands. “Nidhi!”

“Haan!” she was startled as if not realizing what was happening till then. “Sir?”

“Paseena aa raha hai aapko AC mein bhi. Shaant ho jaiye. Aapka nervous breakdown ho jayega warna.”

She wiped her forehead. “Ji,” she said meekly and Ashutosh resumed driving.

—

“Dr. Nidhi. Let me check your blood-pressure,” Ashutosh came to Nidhi after Siddhi was admitted in the hospital and her treatment had started.

“Blood pessure? Mera? Kyon?”

“Aapki halat sahi nahin lag rahi hai mujhe.”

“Main theek hoon, Sir.”

“Aapka boss koi administrator nahin, ek doctor hai. Let me check it.”

Nidhi gave in. And the reading left nothing to guess. Her BP was alarmingly high.

“Mujhe kuchh kahne ki zaroorat hai? Aapko ghar jaana hoga abhi. Aapko aaraam ki zaroorat hai.”

“Main Siddhi ko hospital mein chhod kar nahin ja sakti.”

“Yahan aur log hai uski dekh-bhaal karne ke liye. Aur bhi patients hain is hospital mein Dr. Nidhi.”

“Lekin Siddhi meri responsibility hai.”

“Theek hai. Main yahan rahoonga.”

“Maine kaha na Dr. Ashutosh. Main yahan se nahin jaungi.”

Ashutosh was irritated, “Aap kabhi kissi ki baat maan kyon nahin sakti?”

“Aap Rahul ko kissi aur ke bharose chhod kar chale jaate?”

He looked at her for a moment. Then spoke calmly and firmly, “Main aapke bharose chhod kar chala jaata. Mujhe aap par itna trust hai. Lekin lagta nahin ki aapko mujh par hai? Balki aapko kissi par nahin hai. Kyon Dr. Nidhi?”

“Rahul ko sabse zyada trust kis par hai?”

“Rahul ki baat kahan se aa gayi?”

“Mere sawaal ka jawaab dijiye.”

“I guess, mujh par hoga. Saare bachchon ko apne parents par hota hai.”

“Aur agar aap Rahul ka ye trust break kar dein, to kya woh kabhi kissi aur par bharosa kar payega?”

“Dr. Nidhi. Main samajh sakta hoon ki itni kam umra mein aapke liye apne parents ko lose karna bahut mushkil raha hoga. Mere bhi parents ki death mere bachpan mein ho gayi thi. Main ye bhi maanta hoon ki mere liye life appke jitni tough nahin thi. Baba mere father ke bahut achchhe dost the aur unhone mujhe adopt kiya. Bahut pyaar diya. Aapke paas koi nahin tha. Us par se Siddhi ki responsibility. Main aapki kadwahat samajhta hoon. Lekin iske liye apne parents ko dosh dena to sahi nahin hai. Apni maut par bhala kiska wash hota hai. Woh jaan-boojh kar to appko akela nahin chhod kar gaye the…”

“Gaye the. Jaan-boojh kar gaye the. Suicide kiya tha unhone. Soch samajh kar.”

“Kya?”

“Kuchh nahin socha unhone hamare baare mein. Main to sochne samajhne ke layak thi. Lekin Siddhi? Uske baare mein bhi nahin socha. Aaye the hamare relatives. Hamari help karne ki bhi koshish ki thi. Lekin jab maa-baap ne saath nahin diya, to main kissi aur par kaise bharosa karti? Maine hi sabko mana kiya. To aapko ye personally lene ki zaroorat nahin hai ki main Siddhi ko aapke bharose bhi chhod kar nahin jaungi.”

She ran off from there, leaving Ashutosh stunned. It took him a couple of minutes to think of what to do. The he went out to look for her. He knew where she would be. She was on the terrace. From afar he could not guess that she was crying. But when he went close to her, he realized that silent tears were falling from her eyes.

He put his hand on her shoulder and said softly, “Mere office mein chaliye. Yahan koi bhi aa sakta hai.” She complied.

“Paanch saal ho gaye hain,” Nidhi started speaking without any prodding, “Lekin woh scene nahin bhoolta mujhe. Aaj hi ka din tha. Maine thode dinon pahle hi MBBS shuru kiya tha. Us din dher saari classes thi. Aur practicals bhi. Main thaki thi aur jaldi so gayi thi. Siddhi ke saath hi. Ek dhamake ki aawaaz se meri neend khuli. Aas paas sab normal tha. Ek pal ko laga ki shayad maine koi sapna dekha tha. Lekin bechaini ho rahi thi. Main bahar aa gayi. Mummy-Papa ke kamre mein light jali hui thi. Maine socha unse poochhoon. Darwaaza locked nahin tha. Jab maine andar dekha to… Mummy zameen par thi. Unke sar par goli lagi thi. Papa bagal mein baithe hue the aur unhone apne sar par pistol taan rakhi thi. Main itna shocked thi ki main chilla bhi nahin paayi. Papa ki nazar mujh par padi… Par woh phir bhi nahin ruke. Mere saamne unhone khud ko goli maar li. Idhar maine Papa ko girte dekha, udhar Siddhi ke rone ki aawaaz aayi. Uski bhi neend khul gayi thi. Woh ghabrayi hui usi kamre ki taraf aa rahi thi. Main uski aur daudi, aur use god mein utha kar neighbour ke yahan le gayi taki woh Mummy-Papa ki woh halat dekh na le. Use unke yahan chhoda. Phir Mummy-Papa ko car mein daal kar hospital le gayi. Maine khud hi car drive ki. Main atharah saal ki nahin hui thi. Mere paas license bhi nahin tha. They were dead on arrival. Phir main police station gayi, aur FIR likhwayi. Dubara mujhe us car mein baithne ki himmat nahin hui. Maine police station mein chhod di. For evidence. Wapas aa kar Siddhi ko neighbour ke yahan se sote hue hi uthaya aur ghar aa gayi. Mummy-Papa ke kamre mein pistol padi hui thi tab bhi. Maine socha ki use utha kar wahi karoon jo unhone kiya. Siddhi ko goli maar kar khud bhi mar jaun. Lekin main doctor banne ja rahi thi. Mera kaam jaan bachaana tha. Lena nahin. Main wapas aa kar apne kamre mein baith gayi. Uske baad sab hazy hai. Mere neighbor ne relatives ko bulaya. Baaki sab kaam karwaye. Main bas Siddhi ko le kar baithi hui thi. Uska khaana-peena dekh rahi thi. Baaki sab jaise background mein ho raha tha. Mujhe hosh tab aaya jab log ye discuss karne lage ki main aur Siddhi kiske saath rahenge. Kissi ke saath jaane ka koi sawaal hi nahin tha. Sab log mere faisle se gussa hue. Lekin main koi aur faisla le nahin sakti thi. Phir kuchh dinon baad ek police waala aaya. Case close ho raha tha. Suicide note mein Papa ne likha tha ki woh pahle Mummy ko maar kar, phir khud ko maarne waale hain. Post-mortem confirmed it. Woh mujhe meri car lautane aaya tha. Evidence release ho rahe the. Main use kaha ki mujhe nahin chahiye. Pata nahin use kya bhalmansahat soojhi. Usne car bech kar usse jo paise mile, mujhe de diye. Main usse kuchh nahin kah sakti thi, lekin main woh paise Mummy-Papa ke room mein phenke aur use band kar diya. Phir use kabhi nahin khola… Aaj tak nahin.”

Ashutosh let out an audible sigh. She had been hiding too much. This was the death anniversary of her parents. And all the pain had come back.

“Aap isliye ghar nahin jaana chahti thi aaj? Aapko woh sab yaad aa raha tha?”

She nodded, “Mujhe bahut ghabrahat ho rahi thi. Aur Siddhi bhi nahin thi. Maine usse kaha tha ki is baar na jaye party mein. Mere saath rahe. But use laga ki main use rokne ke liye bahana bana rahi hoon. Ab lag raha hai ki uski problem ka hi premonition ho raha tha mujhe. Meri baat maan leti to uski tabiyat to kharaab nahin hoti. Aap bataiye mujhe Dr. Ashutosh. Kya mujhe kuchchh galat lag raha tha? Wahan drugs ho rahe the, hai na?”

Ashutosh nodded, “I think so. Main jaanta hoon kuchh bachchon ko jo wahan the. Unke parents ke through. It doesn’t surprise me.”

“Kya… Siddhi ne bhi drugs liye the?”

“Maine check nahin karwaya Dr. Nidhi. Use problem food poisoning ki wajah se hi hui thi. To uski dawaiyan de di hain.”

“Lekin aapko kya lagta hai?”

“Baad mein baat karte hain. Abhi tum already bahut pareshaan ho. Aur khud bhi beemaar ho,” Ashutosh said softly. Nidhi did not resist him this time.

“I am sorry. Maine aapko bhi pareshaan kar diya,” Nidhi suddenly became conscious of her outburst.

“Nidhi. Main jaanta hoon ki logon par trust na karne ke liye tumhare paas bahut badi wajah hai. Main tumhein question nahin kar sakta is baare mein. Lekin ise meri request samjho. Thoda bharosa karo mujh par. Tumne already kiya hai. Ye sab mere saath share kar ke. Aur main ye bharosa nahin tootne doonga.”

She nodded, “Lekin mujhe ghar jaane ko mat boliye.”

“Theek hai. Nahin bolunga. Lekin tumhein khud ko shaant rakhna hoga. Aur agar BP badhe to dawai leni hogi. Okay? Ye koi umra nahin hai high blood pressure hone ki tumhari.”

She nodded meekly.

“Aur thodee der hospital mein hi so lo.”

She nodded again and got up, “Main chalti hoon.”

“Take care.”

—

“Dr. Nidhi? Aap is taraf?” Ashutosh stopped his car near the bus stop when he spotted Nidhi. It was Sunday afternoon.

“Ji. Orbit Mall ja rahi thi.”

“Great. Hum bhi wahin ja rahe hain. Rahul ko wahan games khelne hain. Aa jaiye.”

“Sure?”

“Ab main jhooth kyon bolunga? Come in.”

Nidhi did not resist further. Rahul was excited to see his Nidhi Auntie and volunteered to shift to the back seat, so that Nidhi could have the passenger seat in front.

“Nidhi Auntie. Aapko pata hai, wahan multi-player games bhi hai. Lekin Papa mere saath nahin khelte. Aap khelengi?”

“Rahul,” Ashutosh interrupted, “Dr. Nidhi ko apna kaam hai…”

“Koi baat nahin, Sir. Mujhe bas Siddhi ke liye iPad lena tha. Mujhe koi jaldbaazi nahin hai. If you don’t mind, I’d be happy to play with him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Great then.”

—

After buying the tokens for various games, Rahul forgot all about Ashutosh and dragged Nidhi to various games. Ashutosh watched on. It was adorable how well they got along. He welcomed them back with a smile.

“Thaka diya aapne Dr. Nidhi ko?” he asked Rahul playfully.

“No Sir. Mujhe aadat hai. Aur main… enjoy karti hoon.”

“I know. Aur ye iska poora fayda uthata hai.”

“Aisa kyon kah rahe hain aap?”

“Papa. Softy!” Rahul had spotted the softy vendor and wanted one immediately.

“Here. Take the money and get it. Also get one for Dr. Nidhi.”

“No Sir. Main kya karoongi?”

“Khayengi, aur kya karengi? Go Rahul.”

“Aapke liye kaun sa flavour laun Nidhi Auntie?”

“Jo tumhein pasand ho wahi.”

“Chocolate?”

“Okay.”

“He misses having a mother,” Ashutosh said after Rahul left.

“What happened to her?”

She was surprised when Ashutosh laughed, “Nothing happened to her. Or rather love happened to her. A bit too often.”

“Excuse me?”

“We divorced when Rahul was two. She had fallen in love with someone else. And… Well… In another two years they had divorced as well. After that I did not keep track.”

“You don’t sound upset at all.”

“She was childish. I knew it all along. And I think I had found it cute at one point of time. Mujhe lagta tha ki she’d grow with time. Lekin aisa hua nahin. Mujhe gussa bhi bahut aaya jab pata chala. But then I realized that my anger was not going to change her. Maine bas usse Rahul ki custody maangi. She happily let me have it. Then we separated almost amicably.”

“Aapne sahi decision liya.”

“You think so?”

“Yes. Rahul is lucky. Kai bachche nahin hote itne lucky.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Just like that,” Nidhi replied as if she had just jerked herself out of a chain of thought. Obviously she was lying. There was something. But Ashutosh did not press. Pressurizing her never worked anyway.

“To aapko Apple store jaana hai? For the iPad?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go. Main bhi apne liye dekhta hoon. Mere pichhle tablet par to Rahul ne kabza kar liya.”

“Bachchon ko mana nahin kar sakte.”

“Yep. Aap bhi to Siddhi ke liye hi khareed rahi hain.”

“Ji.”

“Lijiye, Rahul bhi aa gaya. With the Softy. Kha lijiye. Phir chalte hain.”

—

“I think main baad mein loongi,” Nidhi said after checking out the models at the store.

“Kyon. Kya hua?”

“Surprise dene ka idea sahi nahin tha. Ab mujhe pata nahin ki use black chahiye hoga ya white.”

“Aapko kaun sa pasand hai.”

“Mujhe?” Nidhi laughed as if he had asked something absurd.

“Haan. Ismein hansne ki kya baat hai?”

“Mujhe kuchh bhi chalta hai.”

“Aisa kaise ho sakta hai. Aap koi itni boodhi nahin ho gayi hain ki aapki koi pasand-napasand na ho.”

“Ho hi gayi hoon. Khair. Aap le lijiye. Main Siddhi ke saath aa kar, ya usse poochh kar baad mein le loongi.”

“Actually main bhi confused hoon ki black loon ya white. Mujhe dono hi achchhe lag rahe hain. To aisa karte hain. Hum ek black aur ek white le lete hain. Siddhi ko jo pasand ho aap use woh de dijiyega. Main doosra rakh loonga. Mere liye decision bhi ho jayega. Aur aapka surprise bhi rah jayega.”

“Iski zaroorat nahin hai Sir. Aapki to pasand-napasand hai na.”

“Maine kaha na mujhe dono hi pasand aa rahe hain. Isliye to problem hai. Fortunately yahan red nahin hai. Warna main aapko bol deta ki red main kissi keemat par nahin loonga.”

“Red would have been nice actually.”

“Really? I don’t think iPad red color mein aata hai. Pasand batayi bhi aapne to non-existent.”

“Non-existent cheezon ko pasand karna achchha hai. Pata hai ki nahin hain. Trust nahin tootta. Existing cheezein trust-worthy nahin hoti… Khair. Main aapko bore kar rahi hoon.”

“Nahin. Aap mujhe intrigue kar rahi hain.”

“Agar aap sure hain ki aapko koi bhi color chalega to hum khareed kar nikalte hain yahan se.”

“Okay.”

—

“Sir. Agar aap logon ko kahin aur jaana ho to main yahan se bus ya auto le loongi.”

“Nahin. Hum wapas hi ja rahe hain.”

“Phir mujhe usi bus-stop par drop kar dijiye, jahan se pick kiya tha.”

“Main aapko ghar drop kar deta hoon.”

“Nahin,” she replied urgently, “Mujhe ghar nahin jaana hai.”

“To kahan jaana hai? Main wahin drop kar doonga.”

“Mujhe nahin pata,” she replied absent-mindedly.

Ashutosh was alarmed, “Dr. Nidhi? Kya hua hai?”

“Kuchh nahin. Aap mujhe bus-stop se pahle ek park hai wahan drop kar dijiye.”

“Siddhi kahan hai?”

“Woh apne friends ke saath gayi hai. Kissi friend ke farmhouse par party hai. Kal shaam tak aayegi.”

“Aap mere saath chaliye.”

“Nahin Sir. Main…”

“Mujhe aapse baat karni hai. Chaliye.”

—

“Nidhi Auntie! Mein aapko apni drawings dikhaun?”

“Rahul. Baad mein. Abhi Papa ko Dr. Nidhi se kuchh kaam hai.”

“Dikhane dijiye na Sir. Kitna excited hai.”

“Nahin. Abhi nahin. Rahul. Beta apne kamre mein jaiye. Auntie se boliye aapke kapde change karwa dein.”

“Aap meri drawings dekhe bina mat jaiyega Nidhi Autnie.”

“Nahin jaungi.”

Nidhi looked uncomfortable and nervous after Rahul left.

“Ghar kyon nahin jaana chahti aap? Kya baat hai?”

“Aisa kuchh nahin hai. Main bas bore ho jaati ghar par akele…”

“Aur park mein akele bahut enjoy karti? Mujhe pata hai aap normally bhi bahut khush nahin rahti hain. Lekin aaj…”

Nidhi’s mobile rang interrupting their conversation.

“Siddhi ka phone hai. I must take it, Sir.”

“Sure.”

“Hello Siddhi…. Kya… Kya hua… Oh God! Tu ghabra mat Siddhi. I will reach there right away… Kuchh nahin hoga… Don’t worry… Address bata…”

“Kya hua Dr. Nidhi?”

“Siddhi ki tabiyat kharaab ho gayi hai. Symptoms se food poisoning lag rahi hai. Woh bahut ghabra gayi hai. Mujhe abhi jaana hoga.”

“Main chalta hoon aapke saath.”

“Rahul…”

“Use maid sambhaal legi. Don’t worry…”

“Nahin. Uski drawings…”

“Come on Dr. Nidhi. Ye drawings dekhne ka time nahin hai…”

“Main use bol kar aati hoon. Warna use bura lagega. Uska kamra kahan hai?”

Ashutosh sighed and pointed towards Rahul’s room. Her sensitivity was endearing, but he wondered if she overdid it for kids.

—

To be continued