Mish' Fiction

“Sir. I understand that my actions could be con… constru… construed as…”

“Ye aapke haath mein jo letter hai usmein likha hai?”

“Y… Yes Sir. Actually Baba se help li to unhone kuchh zyada hi formal likh diya hai.”

Ashutosh smiled, “Theek hai. Aap letter mujhe de dijiye. Main padh loonga.”

“Sir. Main itni formally apne aap ko express nahin kar pati, but I am really serious about it now and I promise ki aage se mere kaam se aapko shikayat ka koi mauka nahin milega.”

“Sure. Welcome back and at the cost of repeating myself you must remember that…”

“Sir woh mujhe yaad hai. Hamare profession mein hamare haath mein zindagi aur maut hoti hai. Yahan mistakes ki, carelessness ki ya inefficiency ki koi gunjaish nahin hoti hai. Aur khaas kar ke is ward mein bilkul nahin.”

Ashutosh laughed out loud surprising Nidhi. In the last couple of weeks she had spent at the hospital, she had never seen him laughing like that. He didn’t look the Dr. Hardstone when he laughed.

Mallika had come to Dr. Ranghnath’s office when she heard the laughter from Ashutosh’ office. A few moments later, she saw Nidhi coming out of the room. Curious, she went in.

Ashutosh was still laughing slightly, “Kya baat hai Ashutosh? Aaj tum Dr. Nidhi Verma ko daantne ki bajay unke saamne aise hans rahe ho.”

“That girl is ridiculously funny Mallika.”

“I can’t believe this. Itne dinon ke baad maine tumhein hanste dekha. Aur uski wajah ek gair-zimmedaar, galtiyan karne waali ladki hai.”

“Let’s be fair to her. She has learnt her lesson. Maine use observe kiya hai pichhle ek hafte mein. For a fresher, she knows her stuff well. Carelessness was her only vice and I think ab woh chali jayegi.”

Mallika didn’t like Ashutosh’ praises for the girl. She wasn’t tactical enough to hide her irritation, “Logon ka basic nature nahin badalta Ashutosh. I would not trust her to be careful.”

“Let’s see,” Ashutosh ignored the irritation in her voice, “Aise karo Mallika, uski duty agle ek mahine ke liye mere hi saath laga do. I’m sure the discipline will do her good. Main chalta hoon. Mujhe Dr. Gupta se ek case discuss karna hai.”

—

Later in the day, Mallika walked towards Ashutosh’ ward to take a break and have a chat with him. She found Nidhi sitting with the same child whose relapse had happened because of her forgetting the injection.

“Dr. Nidhi. Aap mujhe injections se bacha lengi na. Please.”

“Aisa nahin kahte beta. Injections nahin loge to theek kaise hoge. Yaad hai na pichhli baar injection nahin liya tha to aapki tabiyat kaise kharaab ho gayi thi. Chalo koi nahin. Mujhe na ek jaadu aata hai. Usse injection machchar ke kaatne jaisa lagta hai. Bilkul dard nahin hota. Sister. Aap mujhe de dijiye. Injection main laga doongi.”

“Dr. Nidhi,” Mallika interrupted, “Injection aap sister ko hi lagane dijiye. Ye ab aapka patient nahin hai.”

Nidhi was embarrassed. But it had been her fault, so she could not oppose Mallika. She nodded sadly.

“Dr. Mallika,” it was Ashutosh, who had overheard their conversation, “She has learnt her lesson. She will take good care of the patient, I am sure. Dr. Verma – he is your patient. Please continue,” he smiled slightly.

“Thank you, Sir,” Nidhi hoped that her gratitude was coveyed to Dr. Ashutosh through her “thank you”. She felt really happy that he trusted her.

Mallika was annoyed. But she could not say anything just then.

—

“Ashutosh. Aaj raat kahin dinner par chalte hain na.”

“Bilkul mood nahin hai Mallika aaj. Bahut thak gaya hoon. Kissi aur din chalte hain.”

Mallika sighed. As much as she tried, she could never really get through to Ashutosh. Anyone would think she was a fool. But she was hopelessly in love with this man. And could never really think beyond him. She had waited for him for last twelve year and was ready to wait for the rest of her life. It wasn’t like Ashutosh was going anywhere. She had the satisfaction of being the only woman who mattered in his life. And she was happy with that. Her mother was not. But she could handle her. After all, it wasn’t she who was dependent on anyone. She was taking care of her mother too, when her brother had refused to take full time responsibility of their aging mother. Nobody could really tell her how she should be living her life.

“Ashutosh. Thak nahin jaate tum is akelepan se?”

“Akelapan woh pahla ahsaas hai to maine jaana tha Mallika. I am naturally comfortable with it. Beech ke saal abberation the.”

“Ek baar koshish to karo isse bahar nikalne ki. Achchha mahsoos karoge. Khush rahoge.”

“Khushiyon ka mujhe bharosa nahin hai Mallika. Jab chali jaati hain to bahut chot pahunchati hain. Aur woh chot khane ki himmat mujhme nahin hai.”

“Raaste par accident ke dar se log agar raaston par chalna chhod dein, to hum doctaron ka kya hoga Ashutosh. No emergency cases!” Mallika joked.

“Raaste par chalna to band nahin kar sakte. Lekin seat-belt laga kar to drive kar sakte hain na.”

Mallika smiled accepting her defeat. She will have to be happy with whatever there was. Not push for more. Else she might end up losing even what she had.

“Chalo Mallika. Main jaane ke pahle ek baar ward ka round le loon. Dekh loon ki koi emergency to expected nahin hai.”

“Main bhi tumhare saath chalti hoon. Maine apne ward ka dekh liya hai.”

“Okay. Chalo.”

—

“Sister. Kya halat hai is bachche ki?” Ashutosh asked about the first patient he visited.

“Blood pressure stable hai, Sir.”

“Ashutosh. Tumne Dr. Nidhi ko round lene ko kaha tha kya?” Mallika asked as she looked at the patient’s charts.

“Nahin to. Kyon?”

“Woh abhi round le kar gayi hain.”

“Yes Sir,” the nurse said, “Dr. Nidhi abhi abhi round le kar gayi hain.”

“Impressive,” Ashutosh said, “Pahle to kuchh kaho phir bhi nahin maanti thi. Ab khud initiative lekar kaam kar rahi hain.”

“I think she is trying too hard to impress you,” Mallika felt bitter.

“Good for her. Uske professional growth mein help karegi,” Ashutosh did not take the bait. It annoyed Mallika.

“Ashutosh. Mujhe kuchh zaroorai kaam yaad aa gaya hai. Main ghar ja rahi hoon,” she said hoping that he would ask her to wait for him.

But Ashutosh was not affected, “Theek hai. Tum jao Mallika. Main thodi der aur rukne ki soch raha hoon.”

“Kyon? Ab to rounds lene ki bhi zaroorat nahin hai.”

“Haan. Lekin kuchh aur kaam nibta leta hoon.”

“Fine,” Mallika said and left the ward.

—

“Dr. Verma,”

“Y… Yes Sir,” Ashutosh’ voice startled Nidhi as she was taking water from the water cooler. She spilled the water over her dress, as she turned around.

“I am sorry. Maine aapko dara diya lagta hai.”

“Nahin Sir. Main bas zaraa chaunk gayi thi. Koi kaam tha Sir? Waise main ward mein wapas ja hi rahi thi.”

“Nahin theek hai. Aap aaraam kar lijiye. Abhi to aap rounds le kar wapas aayi hain na?”

“Aapko kaise pata?”

“Main gaya tha wahan. Waise maine aapko is waqt rounds lene ko to nahin kaha tha.”

“Haan. Par Sir aap roz lete hain. Main night duty ke liye jaldi aa gayi thi aur free thi to maine socha… Ismein kuchh problem to nahin hai?” her voice suddenly became weak and unsure.

“Nahin nahin. Koi problem nahin hai. Initiative le kar kaam karna to achchi baat hoti hai.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“Lekin haan. Ye dhyaan rakhiye ki khud ko over-work na kar lein aap. Burn out ho sakta hai.”

Nidhi smiled, “Ye baat aapke munh par shobha nahin deti, Sir.”

“Kya matlab?”

“Aap khud itna kaam karte hain ki aap kissi aur ko aaraam karne ki salaah dein, ye to sahi nahin hai.”

Ashutosh laughed, “Theek hai. To jab aaj aapne kaam karne ka faisla kar liya hai, to main jaldi ghar chala jaata hoon. Aaraam karta hoon. You take care.”

“Good night, Sir.”

“Good night.”

—

To be continued

After informing everyone at home that the patient was fine, Nidhi wanted to be left alone. Dadi Bua was furious at the condition of her baby, but Baba and Anji understood Nidhi and made sure that she wasn’t disturbed for the day. Nidhi was tired, but she could not sleep.

She tossed and turned around in her bed. The child was out of danger. She didn’t need to dwell on her mistake now. She should look at the opportunity that awaited her. She had a chance to get rid of the only thing she hated about her life. She knew, that at this juncture, even Baba won’t object. She could leave medicine for good. And she should. There was no point in torturing herself. Yes she would quit.

But why did the thought make her uneasy? As if there was an umbilical cord binding her to the hospital, to the profession.

‘Damn Nidhi! Ab medical terms mein sochna band kar,’ she chided herself. But the restlessness would not go away. She wasn’t happy. Why?

It was probably the suddenness of it all, she decided to believe. She was feeling anxious about the change awaiting her. It is always easier to go with the flow. Taking a huge decision creates tension. Yes that was it. She should think of something else. Like what was she going to do now? Yes – that would be exciting. Shopping with Anji, of course, to lift her mood. Next few nights of partying… Anji’s Daddy would need to be handled, but she could manage that. And then…

Then what? Anji would get busy with her job. Or if her Daddy changed his mind, then with his business. What career would Nidhi take up for herself? Damn! She had never ever thought about it. The only thing she knew was that she had always hated the idea of pursuing medicine, that of becoming a doctor. But she had never thought about what it was that she would love doing?

So what! There never really was a point in thinking about it earlier. Baba wouldn’t let her do anything other than medicine. As much as she hated it, she couldn’t really have done anything against his wishes. Especially when he always brought Mummy in between.

Mummy! Oh! Her absence was another thing she hated about her life. She hardly remembered anything about her. She had died when Nidhi was too young. Dadi Bua had been with them ever since. Auntie, Anji’s Mom, also treated her like her own daughter. And yet – sometimes she did feel motherless. She never told either Dadi Bua or Auntie about that feeling. That would be unfair to them. Given how much they tried to do for her; given how much they loved her. But yes! That was the problem. They tried too hard. Mother’s love would be effortless. That’s why she felt a tinge of disappointment sometimes.

But why was she occupied with depressing thoughts today. She was supposed to be happy. She should be thinking about a future that she will live her way. And what was her way? Interior designing was not her cup of tea, unlike Anji. She could not be a painter or a singer. She barely managed to pass the “Fine Arts” course in her school. Her performance in medical school would have been much better, if her diagrams had come out little better. And singing? There wasn’t a point in even thinking about what it would do to the people around her. She herself could not tolerate her voice, not even for bathroom singing.

An MBA? But duh! She hated the idea of either running her own business or sitting in a big corporate as a manager. Running a business was not like handling human body. She had seen her Baba working on his business related issues all the time. And the idea of solving those issues never excited her. It was like you never knew what was the right thing to do and what wasn’t. With human body, you had to identify the issue and then if you sincerely did the right thing, you would be able to get the right results. A healthy, happy person! That was the beauty of medicine, right? It healed people, it made them happy.

‘Offo Nidhi. Is profession ke baare mein nahin, aur cheezon ke baare mein soch.’

‘Agar Baba ne zindagi bhar mujhe doctor banne ke liye pester nahin kiya hota, to mujhe aaj ye sochne ki zaroorat nahin padti ki main kya karna chahti hoon. Maine bahut pahle hi soch liya hota ye. Baba ne bhi na… Mujhe bahut achchhe se paala hai. Lekin ye ek cheez sahi nahin ki.’

She still remembered that she would barely have celebrated the end of a semester in medical school, when Baba would be there to remind her that to become a doctor, she could not forget all she had learned in the semester just because the exams were over. Also, she had to study hard for the next semester.

“Offo Baba! Itna bhi mushkil nahin hota hai.”

“Mushkil nahin hota hai? Tumhare saare dost to hai-tauba machaye rahte hain ki doctor banne ke liye kitni padhai karni padti hai.”

“Haan karni padti hai. Lekin hamari body ko hi to study karna hai na Baba. Koi hazaron saalon ki history ki classes thode hi na hain ki – itna sa dimaag aur itne saare saal – bhala kahan jamaa karoge saari information?”

“Achchha?”

“Haan Baba. Dekhiye. Human body to main ek baar model dekhti hoon to mujhe samajh mein aa jati hai. Isliye exams mein koi problem nahin hai. Lekin Baba – actual khoon dekh kar na mera sar chakraata hai. To main doctor nahin ban sakti. Main college drop kar doon, please?”

“Nahin,” he would say strictly and go away, while Nidhi would pout in frustration.

Human body was definitely something she understood inuitively. Her friends often wondered that how come she remembered everything without having to spend hours studying. And she never understood why they all needed to study so much. So, exams were not a problem for her. But why couldn’t Baba stop pestering. She didn’t want to become a doctor.

Only if Baba hadn’t pestered her so much. Then she could have decided what she wanted to become. What would she have become, if not a doctor??? She tried to think. Why did she hate the idea of becoming a doctor? Because Baba kept pestering…

Oh God! Was that it? She hated Baba’s insistence? She hated not being allowed to choose? Did she hate the profession or did she… just hate the inability to choose…

She understood the human body. She understood people and connected well with them. So, if she could choose, what would she become?

A doctor, of course.

—

She smiled and relaxed finally. She slept peacefully for hours. She didn’t wake up for lunch. She got up after 5 in the evening. She was well-rested. She went out and saw everyone sitiing in the hall.

“Good evening,” her chirpy voice startled everyone, “Kya hua hai aap logon ko? Aisi shakal bana kar kyon baithe hain.”

“Nidhi,” Anji rushed to her, “Tu theek hai na?”

“Main bilkul theek hoon.”

“Chhote Sarkaar. Chai to bana kar laiye sab ke liye,” Baba ordered, relieved seeing that Nidhi was all right.

“Aur kuchh nashta bhi le aana,” Dadi Bua added, “Khane liye Yograj ne uthane hi nahin diya.”

“Sahi kiya Dadi Bua,” Nidhi assured her, “Mujhe bahut neend aa rahi thi. Aur thak bhi gayi thi. Ab fresh feel kar rahi hoon.”

—

“Nidhi. Ab kya karne waali hai tu?” Anji asked her when they were in her room later.

“Kya karne waali hoon matlab?”

“Matlab tu hospital phir jayegi ya…”

“Jaungi Anji.”

“Sure? Par tu to doctor nahin banna chahti na. Aur ab Baba bhi kuchh nahin kahenge.”

“Jaanti hoon Anji. Par ab faisla badalne ke liye bahut der ho gayi hai. Main doctor banne ke alawa kuchh kar nahin sakti.”

“Aisa kuchh nahin hai Nidhi. Tu MBA kar sakti hai, koi aur course kar sakti hai…”

“Nahin Anji. Tu galat samajh rahi hai. Main majboori mein ye nahin bol rahi hoon. Mujhe lagta hai ki isi profession mein meri khushi hai.”

“Achchha!” Anji said and they sat in silence for a while.

Anji broke the silence, “Nidhi kuchh hua hai kya?”

“Kya hua hai?”

“Mujhe nahin pata. Dr. Ashutosh ne tujhse kuchh kaha kya?”

“Nahin. Bas yahi kaha ki aage ka faisla mujhe khud karna hai.”

“Woh to theek hai. Kuchh aur?”

“Nahin.”

“Daanta?”

“Haan.”

“Bahut?”

“Haan. Bahut.”

“Aur phir bhi tu khush hai. Wapas jaana chahti hai? Nidhi – tujhse to kabhi kissi ki daant bardasht nahin hoti thi?”

“Unki daant theek hi thi na Anji. Koi bekaar mein daante to gussa aata hai. Lekin agar meri wajah se kissi ki jaan khatre mein pad gayi thi. To daantna to unka haq tha.”

“Nidhi. Kuchh to hua hai.”

“Tujhe kuchh ho gaya hai. Ye Sherlock Holmes kyon bani phir rahi hai?”

“Tu mujhse jhooth nahin bol sakti. Teri shakal par likha hai ki kuchh hua hai.”

“Achcha! Shakal par likha hai to tu khud hi padh le.”

“Nidhi. Tu batati hai mujhe ya main jaun? Mujhe ab gussa aa raha hai.”

“Are. Kuchh hua hi nahin hai. chhoti si baat hai. Mere ear-rings patient ke bed par chhoot gaye the. To Dr. Ahustosh ko dikh gaye aur unhone mujhe utha kar wapas kar diye.”

“Itne hungaame ke beech mein Dr. Ashutosh ne tujhe ear-rings wapas kiye?” Anji was surprised.

“Tab tak sab theek ho chuka tha Anji.”

“Phir bhi Nidhi. Ye chhoti si to baat nahin hai… Hayee! Main mar jawan. Dr. Ashutosh bade handsome hain na waise? Kabhi milwana mujhe.”

“Shut up Anji. Rai ka pahad mat banaa…”

“Kya chal raha hai bachchiyon,” Baba entered the room, “Mahaul kaisa hai yahan ka?”

“Mahaul bilkul theek hai.”

“Chalo achcha hai sab theek ho gaya. Warna yahan meri jaan nikal rahi thi ki kahin inka transfer hospital se jail ho gaya to main kya karoonga? Lawyer ka intezaam kahan se hoga, jail mein khaana kaun pahunchayega…”

“Baba. Aapko ye mazaak lag raha hai,” Nidhi pouted.

“Achchha mazaak chhodo. Ye batao ki tumne kya faisla kiya hai. Aur haan – tum jo bhi faisla karogi mera waada hai ki main tumhara saath doonga. Agar tum hospital chhodna chaho…”

“Nahin Baba,” Anji smiled teasingly, “Nidhi hospital chhod kar nahin jaane waali hai. Aap to bas iske liye ek achchha sa apology letter likh dijiye jismein ye kahe ki ab ye bahut dil laga kar aur mehnat se kaam karegi aur Dr. Ashutosh ya hospital ko shikayat ka koi mauka nahin degi.”

Nidhi smiled and Baba faked getting perplexed, “Ye likhna padega.”

“Haan Baba.”

“Theek hai. Ye bhi sahi!”

—

To be continued