Tag: modern indian love story

Next-door (Part 5)

Posted Mish7 CommentsPosted in Antara-Mrinal, English, Original

Mrinal was barely managing to put up with the long, tiring rituals. He was ready to burst by the time his noisy baraat had reached Guptas’ house, taking forever to walk through a distance of half a kilometer! What had calmed him down was the sight of Antara walking on to the stage for jaymaal. The heavy dress, makeup and jewelry had overwhelmed her persona. She hardly looked like a person, more a showcase of everything that was draped on her. His own sherwani and the few ridiculous accessories that had been forced upon him started feeling very light. Hers were daunting. Still, unlike him, she looked calm and patient. He drew a deep breath and decided to follow her example. But he didn’t let the boys surrounding him to play the usual game of lifting him up and not letting the bride garland him easily. He dutifully bent his head the very first time and accepted the garland amidst a lot of hooting and leg-pulling from the guests about being joru-ka-gulaam.

The actual wedding rituals were to start only late at night. After jaymaal everyone sat down to eat. At the insistence of his cousins and sisters, Antara was brought in the dining hall to join them at the table. Getting to know her was hardly any excuse. They all knew her very well. But that was how everybody did it. So, that was how they wanted to do it too. Antara was still clad in her entire jaymaal ensemble. She was seated beside him. More leg-pulling started. He sat back silently, and she responded mostly with a shy smile and only occasionally protesting the jocular accusations like it was a childhood romance that they managed to keep under wraps all these years. “If that were the case,” she said gently, “I wouldn’t have left Auntie distressed all these years about his wedding.” That drew some appreciative nods and whistles. She had passed the test of wits.

But his patience was to be tested more. When the food came, she didn’t take anything. “Your dinner?” he asked in a whisper.

“I am fasting,” she mumbled almost without moving her lips and keeping her eyes on others on the table, not wanting to be caught in a chit-chat with him.

“What for?”

“Wedding…”

“But…”

She pressed his hand under the table, surprising him, and stopping him from questioning further. Then she removed it hastily. He didn’t realize what effect that brief physical contact had on her!

He found it difficult to eat anything after that. He was generally known to be a withdrawn, not-so-social kind of a person. So, people who were supposed to make sure he was fed well, did not insist as incessantly as they would with any other groom.

“When will you eat?” he sent her an SMS after the dinner was over and she was back in her room.

“In the morning. Please do not worry. I am used to fasting on several occasions. You didn’t eat well. Have something before the rituals start,” she replied.

When she came to the mandap later at night, he could see that she was tired and sleepy, but silent and forbearing as usual. He had been able to take a nap that afternoon, as well as after dinner. So, he wasn’t irritable on that count, at least. He watched partly in concern, and partly in amusement, as she fell asleep through the long mantra-chanting sessions of punditji. There was one moment in which she was fully awake though. When her hand was put in his for panigrahan. He could feel the slight trembling of her hand. Was it excitement? Or was it fear?

At last the rituals were over and they were led to Antara’s room together. Mrinal looked at his watch. It was five in the morning. A bunch of women and girls were following them. Mrinal was surprised that they still had the energy for lengthy, animated discussion over what the next set of rituals should be and exactly how should they be carried out. Antara was worried about how Mrinal would behave during the ritual of dwaar chhekai. She couldn’t imagine him happily arguing and bargaining with her cousins and friends who would demand exorbitant amount of money for letting them into the room. For the ritual of shoe-stealing, his cousins and friends had taken the lead in bantering and negotiations. His father had paid the money and he didn’t have to participate. But this one would be difficult.

The girls started off by asking for fifty thousand rupees. His reply surprised her, “I will not argue and wait silently until you name an amount that I can actually give right away.” He was prepared.

“We will have to ask for a chavanni then,” somebody tried to mock him.

“I had hoped you have better standards, but if that is what you want, I will graciously pay four-times more.”

It attracted some appreciative grunts. After a while they came down to ten thousand rupees. Mrinal took out fifteen thousand in cash and handed it over to them drawing absurd squeals of joy from them. They got sometime alone as the youngsters went off to take some rest and the women got busy preparing for the coming rituals.

He was annoyed that nobody seemed to be concerned about breaking Antara’s fast.

“Here,” he took out a packet of biscuits from the pocket of his kurta and offered it to her, “Eat this until they arrange for some breakfast.”

“Excuse me?” Antara who was wondering whether and what to talk to him about was startled.

“You are hungry since yesterday. I see no food in sight. Eat this.”

“Chachiji  or somebody else will tell me when I should break my fast.”

“I don’t see anyone concerned about that.”

“How can I break my fast with biscuits?”

“This is the best I could manage.”

“Mrinal ji…”

“You were sleeping through the lengthy explanation of wedding vows. So, let me remind you. You have just promised to obey me for the rest of your life. Now don’t break it so quickly.”

“What?” she looked at him puzzled. Was he angry that she was sleepy? But her concerns were laid to rest immediately. He was smiling. She smiled back and shook her head. “You are too much.”

He took her hand and pushed the packet of biscuit in it. “Eat before someone comes, please.”

“You didn’t eat last night either…”

“I had been eating all day yesterday.”

Just then they heard footsteps approaching. Antara grew nervous. Mrinal looked around and hissed, “Go to the bathroom. Eat there…”

“What?”

“Go!” he almost pushed her towards the bathroom.

“Arr… we have left him all alone like that… Where are the girls? Only good for taking money, eh? And where is Antara?”

“She is in the bathroom,” she heard him say. She looked at the packet of biscuit, then at her hand. The hand with which she had touched him last night to stop him from speaking more on her fast; the hand that had been put in his later in the night… She allowed herself a happy smile. And a hope… Of a life where someone would care… He already did. She didn’t need to eat. But she would keep her vow of obeying him, as he had demanded. She grinned as she thought of how he had said that; in such flat voice that she had believed him to be serious for a moment. She opened the packet and started nibbling at the first piece. As soon as she ate one, her suppressed hunger was awakened. She ended up finishing the entire packet. She threw the packet in the dustbin. She made to wash her hands, but stopped remembering that she had touched him with that. She wanted the feeling to linger on. She did not wash, just rubbed her hands together to get rid of crumbs. She checked her lips carefully in the mirror to remove the crumbs before coming out.

—

To be continued

Next-door (Part 4)

Posted Mish6 CommentsPosted in Antara-Mrinal, English, Original

“I am, I am sorry…” she sounded almost desperate and it made Mrinal wonder what was up with her, “Please don’t be mad… I will ask Chachiji. I am sure she will agree once she knows that you want it. You won’t have to ask…”

“Antara. I am not mad. Not at you, anyway. And being mad at anyone else isn’t going to do any good. So, relax.”

She did not say anything and took a deep breath. But her brows were still furrowed. Mrinal resisted the urge to run his fingers over her forehead to relax them and just motioned with his two fingers moving away.

“Huh?” she did not understand.

“Your eyebrows. They are so close together as if you are trying to concentrate on solving the world-hunger problem.”

She deliberately relaxed her eyes brows and a small smile appeared on her face.

“Do you have a mobile phone?” he asked.

She shook her head. She didn’t have one!

“Then I am not going to ask for anybody’s permission to gift you one; if that is okay with you. Is it?”

She hesitated for a bit; then nodded.

“Antara. I can feel that you are under a lot of pressure. I don’t know why. But you must know this. That you needn’t feel any of it because of me. I am not here to judge you. And anything we discuss is not reaching another ear; not through me. So, nobody else is going to judge you either. I am probably saying too much, too soon; and confusing you. But I only want to assure you that…” he stopped struggling with the right words to express himself. Then he decided to give up on political correctness and blurted, “That you don’t need to treat it like any other “arranged” marriage proposals that have or would have come your way. None of that judging, questioning and pointless mutual slandering… Nobody will do it to me. Nobody will do it to you. And if somebody is doing it to you, without my knowledge, and that is what is creating all this pressure on you, I hope that someday soon, you will be comfortable in discussing it with me.”

Antara stared at him wide-eyed. But when he looked directly at her, she averted her gaze.

“Did I make you more nervous?” he chuckled.

“No,” she looked up and smiled. “So you don’t like people much?”

“I love the mankind. It’s people I can’t stand.”

It was her turn to chuckle.

“And I love people who get the reference,” he added without realizing that he had indirectly said those magical words to her. She waited for a moment wondering if he realized that. He didn’t. So, she kept her blushing and smiling in check.

“Shall I ask Chachiji?”

“For?”

“For going out…”

“No. No Antara. You are as much an adult as I am… I can’t have you do what I won’t.”

“But you don’t want this either…”

“Yes,” he said somberly, “That means until the wedding, we will have to manage without meeting. Is that okay with you?”

Her cheeks grew crimson, when he said that. What was she supposed to say? If she said it was okay, she would sound too cold. If she said it wasn’t, she would sound too desperate. Why did he put her in such situations? He had just assured her that he wasn’t judging her. But lifelong training of trying to do what others think right, rather than the honest one, couldn’t be shed off just like that. “Whatever you think is right…” she smiled tentatively.

He sighed. She assumed that he was dissatisfied with her not expressing her opinion and putting the entire responsibility on him. He had told her very clearly that he wanted her to talk to him. But how could she just start doing that? Unless she got enough time with him…

But he had more surprise in store for her. “Antara. You were probably expecting that experience… of meeting… of getting to know each other… And I am sorry that I am being so adamant against doing it like this… But before we decide anything about it, you have to answer a question of mine completely honestly. Will you do that?”

What! How could she promise to answer honestly before knowing what the question was? This was their first meeting, for Christ’s sake. Given how considerate he had appeared otherwise during this conversation, she couldn’t assume that he was doing it deliberately.  He just didn’t realize how difficult his questions were for her, did he?

“Mrinal ji…”

“You must answer it honestly, and you won’t regret it.”

“Fine,” she decided to take the risk.

“Is saying ‘no’ to this relationship really an option for you, if you do find me disagreeable?”

Her bravery vanished into thin air on hearing the unexpected question. What kind of a question was that? Why was he asking that? And then she grew thoughtful and sad despite herself. She had always accepted her lot and had learned to be happy with it. Suddenly this man, in their very first meeting, was making her painfully aware of so many things that were wrong with her life. Her dependence, her complete lack of control over even the life-changing decisions… She should hate him… But at the same he was also giving her hope… Of a better future. She would play this game. It could be dangerous, but she would play it all the same. She would answer him honestly. Did she have an option of saying ‘no’?

“No. I don’t,” she said is a low, but firm voice.

“Would the answer be different, if it were somebody other than me?”

“I don’t know why you are asking these things, Mrinal ji. I am a simple girl and I don’t have freedom like you do… No. I would never have had that option once the elders had decided on a match for me. But why do you…”

“Remember what I said earlier, Antara. I am still not judging you. I will tell you why I asked that question. Because if you had that option, I would have made sure that we spend this time together so that you could make-up your mind. But if that option isn’t there anyway, if the wedding has to happen irrespective of what you discover about me, I don’t want to enslave myself, and you, to this way of doing things. I find it almost vulgar. I am an extremely private person, Antara.”

Antara’s misgivings went away and she genuinely felt for him seeing him struggle like this for her sake, “It’s all right, Mrinal ji. Please don’t worry because of me. Really…”

“I will make up for it. Whatever it takes. I promise.”

She smiled shyly.

“How will I give you the mobile phone?” he asked, “Can you come to your garden, or possibly outside your house at around six in the morning? The day after? By tomorrow I should have the phone as well as a number.”

“Like… sneaking out…” she looked incredulous.

“Just once…” he implored.

“If someone sees…” she thought hard and a solution struck her, “I was… thinking… that… my brother is coming in three days. Once he is here, I can send him to you. He will bring me the phone. He won’t talk about it. We can trust him.”

“Your brother?”

“Cousin actually. Chachaji’s son. He is pursuing engineering from IIT Delhi. Will be here for summer vacations and… the wedding…”

“Hmm… Okay…”

“But Mrinal ji…” she started asking tentatively, the stopped.

“Yeah? Tell me?”

“Don’t you… want to… know more about me? Before the wedding…” she completed her question with a lot of effort.

He smiled knowingly, “I know more about you than you can imagine.”

“How?”

“I will tell you someday,” his enigmatic smile continued and for the first time Antara noticed how charming his smile was, “But right now I must leave. I think jailor-approved meeting time is already up. I don’t want either of us to lose social currency.” He chuckled.

She was really disappointed and wanted to prolong her time with him and also wanted him to explain his mysterious claim of knowing her well. But what he had said jokingly was right. If the meeting went on any longer, it would become socially appropriate. So, she smiled slightly and nodded. She will have to wait until the wedding to see what was to become of her life! Whether the hopes would get fulfilled or crushed.

—

To be continued

Next-door (Part 3)

Posted Mish3 CommentsPosted in Antara-Mrinal, English, Original

“I had felt that there was something going on when you had intervened for her that evening. Mrs. Gupta is not very kind to her.”

“Nothing was going on, Papa.”

“In my defense, I did not tell anything to your mother. But what is the situation now? You don’t want this?”

“Papa. I am so confused…”

“Hmm…” Nishant Agarwal smiled at his son, “If it has come to being confused, from being certainly not interested, I guess I am going to let you go ahead with this.”

“But Papa. This is so sudden…”

“It will be fine. I respect it that you want to make your own decision, but I also think that you have started thinking so much that you will never make the decision. She is a fine girl. For once, I agree with your mother.”

—

It was all fixed between the families. Mrinal could not decide whether to be happy or to be anxious. He had seen a kindred soul in Antara having read her diary. But that was not enough. She didn’t know how he wanted to live his life. Would she be willing to share it? He was more hopeful when he had thought of her as a poor relative or house-help. But that wasn’t the case. How would Mr. Gupta’s niece like it that he wanted to live his life off his salary, and not use the family money? Since starting his job, he had never touched the money his father transferred to his account every month. His life wasn’t uncomfortable, but his wife wouldn’t exactly be able to afford buying jewelry every month.

Since summer vacations were going on, it was decided that the wedding would take place before his college opened; else getting long leave would be difficult for him. Guruji had anyway wanted them to get married within a month. So, there was no reason for delay.

Acting graciously, the families had decided to let the young couple spend some time with each other. Mrinal couldn’t believe that he was putting up with all this absurdity, when he was sent up to “see Antara’s room” amidst a lot of giggles and mock warnings to wait until marriage.

“This is ridiculous,” he mumbled as they entered her room; then looked at Antara wondering if he might have offended her. But she hadn’t heard him at all. She continued walking towards the window where two chairs were kept. He looked at her face; and the emotion he had felt, but not articulated, during their first meeting, came rushing back. The desire and passion. He wanted a particular lifestyle because he wanted happiness in life. But from now on, he could easily find his happiness if this woman standing before him would stop being anxious and smile freely. He would even embrace the family and money he had shunned all these years. He decided to let go of his anxieties. He would woo her, make her happy in whatever ways possible, and find happiness for himself that way. If he had stopped to think about it, he wouldn’t have believed that it was happening to him.

“Hello?” he said to draw her attention.

“Haan… Uh… I am so sorry. I…”

“Relax. Antara,” he said in such a soft voice that he himself didn’t think he possessed.

She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down, but he could see that her lips were still quivering.

Mrinal broke the silence again, because she seemed to be at a loss, “Shall we sit down?”

“Yes…. Of course… Please sit down,” that was another slip in etiquettes that she had not invited him to sit.

Mrinal did not comment on her nervousness again to avoid making her even more self-conscious. He went forward and took one of the chairs motioning her to sit on the other chair. She followed the suit.

Seeing her sitting there with downcast eyes, wringing her hands and barely able to contain shaking of her body, a thought entered his mind. He must confirm with her, and yet he must approach it delicately. He started with what he had already been meaning to ask her.

“Had somebody asked you for your consent about this… relationship?” he asked trying to sound as gentle as possible.

She looked up at him terrified. “Why…. Why are you asking this?”

He ignored her fear and continued in a conversational tone, “Because somebody must ask, Antara. I’m sorry that things happened in a way that… I couldn’t ask you earlier.”

She still looked confused, but less terrified, and replied tentatively, “I’m fine, Mrinal ji.”

“Are you sure? Because if there is any hesitation on your part, I should know now….”

“I wasn’t having any affairs, if that’s what you really wanted to ask about,” she said in a rare display of courage. She immediately bit her lips fearing that she might have said too much.

Mrinal was also taken by surprise at first; then he smiled. She had answered the question that had come to his mind after seeing her condition – what if she had somebody else in her life? It just wouldn’t do to force her into an “arranged” marriage then. “I wasn’t specifically asking about that, but it is good to know. Not because I care about you having a past. But because I would hate it if you were to get into this relationship unwillingly.”

She looked surprised at first; then a faint smile formed on her lips. Mrinal was satisfied. He sat back in his chair feeling relaxed. At least there wasn’t a complete reluctance on her side.

“Don’t you want to know anything about me? Anything you want to ask me?” he said.

“I… What should I… ask you? I know about you… Everyone does…”

“What could you possibly know about me?” he smiled patronizingly.

“That you are a physicist, have always been passionate about your studies, and you work as an assistant professor in Mumbai.”

“Those things tell you very little about a person.”

“Probably. But one can’t possibly know a person by asking questions either.”

“Fair enough…”

Just then there was knock on the door and a servant walked in with the tea trolley.

Antara prepared the tea and passed him a cup. After taking a sip, he reached out for sugar.

“You don’t take sugar in your tea, right?” she asked.

He gave an embarrassed grin as he dropped one spoonful of sugar in his cup.

“Why did you lie, then? You could have just taken one spoonful that day too….”

“If I had, then Auntie would have claimed that you should have known that everyone takes one spoonful of sugar.”

She bit her lips again, this time to suppress her smile that threatened to be too wide. He had done that to protect her!

“How much sugar do you take?” he asked trying to ignore how when she bit her lips, she seemed to be inviting him to do the same. To her lips! This easily aroused, raw, physical desire was totally alien to him until then; even though he was no novice as far as relationships with women were concerned.

“Two… Two spoonfuls…” she said. “I will take it,” she added as she saw him putting sugar in her cup.

“I can measure two spoonfuls of sugar,” he replied with a smile and handed her the cup after mixing the sugar well.

She looked more relaxed when she smiled this time. So, he ventured to propose an alternate arrangement for them to meet, “Honestly, I am extremely uncomfortable with us “meeting” in full public view. Would you like to go out sometime?”

Her smile disappeared and nervousness returned. “I… I am not sure Chachiji will allow.”

He frowned and replied after a pause. “And I am not exactly going to ask for somebody’s permission for two adults to go out.”

—

To be continued

Next-door (Part 2)

Posted Mish4 CommentsPosted in Antara-Mrinal, English, Original

The rational physicist in him recoiled and rebelled at the mayhem his house was in when he returned home. There was no way he was going to get an afternoon nap. Or a good night’s sleep for that matter. The entire household, and then some, were busy preparing for “Mata ka Jagrata”. Some particularly blessed Guruji was going to be present for the occasion which had made it more important than numerous such other functions happening throughout the year.

“I have a headache,” he informed his mother who shook her head in disappointment. When will her son find the right path? They should never have sent him away from home for his studies. But her husband had been adamant. She looked on sadly as he locked himself up in his room with his books, journals, laptop and the newly acquired Gupta Enterprises diary. Of course, she wasn’t aware of the last one being in his possession; or even of its existence.

—

Mrinal had his breakfast and lunch sent up to his room. But by the afternoon, he felt the need for some fresh air. As if the universe was conspiring to throw Anrata Arabesques in his way repeatedly, he saw his frantic mother being calmed down by her. “Relax Auntie. I have taken up the responsibility of prasad. It will be made right. And in time. Don’t worry about it…. Yes… Yes… Flowers are also in its way… Yes. Chachiji has told me that she will herself bring Guruji here…”

‘So much hypocrisy; such dishonesty; and such piety. How do these things go together in so many people? I hope God’s justice is what it is touted to be. Fair. But it becomes difficult to believe at times…’ he recalled from her diary and suddenly felt enraged. What did a girl, who had the ability to see through the frivolity, have to do with his mother’s pointless worries about prasad, flowers, and, worst of all, Guruji? But he quickly grew aware of the absurdity of his rage. What business did he have stealing her diary, and them presuming that he knew how her life should be run… Unless…

—

The elder of his two sisters, who was married and lived with her in-laws in the same city, was home for the jagrata with her entire clan including three children. The children were fascinated with their scientist mama and Mrinal also did not mind them. Children still offered him hope that adults never could. Both the sisters were younger to him. Younger one was yet to be married. When exactly had he stopped feeling tender towards them, he sometimes wondered. Probably precisely at the time when they were shedding their girlish persona and becoming more of the women of society, seamlessly absorbing all the politics, bickering, competition for dresses and jewelry and rich husbands that came with it. The elder one still managed to coax him at times. Today too, she had managed to make him wear a silk kurta and to draw a promise that he would be at the jagrata for at least a while.

“Minnie,” he decided to take advantage of the time he was spending in jagrata and ask her sister about Antara, “Who is that girl? The one who just came in with the laddoo wallah.”

“I see,” Mrinalini grinned, “You are asking about a girl. I will have to find out…”

“I am sorry, I asked…”

“No. No. Wait. You are asking about her? Antara?”

“Is that her name?” he feigned ignorance.

“Of course. Who in the family doesn’t know her? She is Gupta Uncle’s niece.”

“Niece!” Mrinal was taken aback. Why was she being treated like dirt by Mrs. Gupta? She didn’t look like a house-help, but he had expected her to be some distant, poor relative at best.

Mrinalini was called away by someone just then and Mrinal was thankful to have escaped further grilling and leg-pulling from his sister.  But knowing that Antara was Mr. Gupta’s niece had practically closed the chapter for him. She would expect to marry into an established business family, which his was. But he didn’t want to have anything to do with that life or lifestyle. He would have to figure out a way of giving her back the diary without being discovered as the thief. Soon after he slipped away from the function to get whatever little sleep he could behind the closed doors of his bedroom. He slept with the diary under his pillow, paranoid about it being discovered by someone.

—

In the morning, when he got up at his usual time, the commotion was less. The jagrata was over, but the Guruji was still around. Even though he had a slight headache because of two consecutive nights of bad sleep, he slipped out of the house for a jog. He didn’t want to be dragged into being blessed and preached by Guruji. He was prepared for the verbal onslaught from his mother about missing the golden opportunity of setting everything right in his life. But when he came back, that wasn’t what he met with.

Mohini Agarwal was in rather high spirits, grinning from ear to ear. She welcomed his son excitedly after his morning exercise. He, rightfully, grew suspicious.

“Everything all right, Mummy?”

“Yes. Yes. Everything will be all right with Guruji’s blessings…”

“I am not wearing a stone or a locket….”

“Don’t worry about all that. Everything will be good from now on. Why don’t you take your bath quickly? Breakfast will be ready shortly.”

He came to the breakfast table wearing a white kurta-paijama. Kurta’s pocket sheltered the diary, which he had still not found a way of returning and which he was terrified of leaving in his room. The servants in his house would dutifully stay away from touching any precious items like jewelry to prove their honesty. But beyond that they didn’t have much sense of respecting people’s privacy. And having done what he had done, stealing the diary of a young woman like that, he could hardly complain about anyone else trying to violate his privacy, he thought somewhat irritably.

“I showed your kundali to Guruji,” His mother informed him at the breakfast table, while his father shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“Okay,” he didn’t want to prompt her with a question like ‘why’. But that didn’t deter her.

“And he says that you should get married within a month. It is the best time.”

“Get married to whom?” he chuckled. “Did he find a girl too, who I would magically like?”

“He didn’t. You did.”

“Excuse me?”

“I spoke to Gupta ji and his wife too. And showed Antara’s kundali to Guruji as well.”

“What are you talking about, Mummy? Why would you show Antara’s kundali to Guruji and why are you telling me about it?”

“Why? Don’t you like her?”

“I… When did I say that?”

“So, you do like her?”

“When did I say that either?”

“Then you do like her.”

“Mummy. What has Minnie told you?”

“Enough that you must give me a very good reason to say ‘no’ to this proposal.”

“What is the guarantee that she will be happy with this?” he blurted out his real worry instead of continuing to evade as he should have done to have any chance of escaping his mother.

She grinned. “That is simple, right? We can ask her.”

“How would she know? She doesn’t know me at all,” Mrinal put up what he thought was a very potent fight. But his objection as swept aside with a laughter from his mother.

“Who doesn’t know anything about you in this mohalla? Everybody knows our professor sahib, beta. Don’t worry about that.”

“Fine. But I don’t know anything about her either.”

“Then ask me. And I assure you that she is your type. The best thing about her is that she fits in anywhere. She fits in here, in this society. And she will fit in with your professor-type friends too. She reads so much. Always has her head buried in a book, when not taking care of house or working on a painting.”

Mrinal cringed. His mother was talking about a girl fitting in like she was a piece of wall hanging that will fit in with the décor of his mother’s house as well as his own. But he didn’t know what to tell his mother just then. He finished the last mouthful of his breakfast and got up.

—

To be continued

Next-door (Part 1)

Posted Mish4 CommentsPosted in Antara-Mrinal, English, Original

“What the hell, Antara. Why is there no sugar in the tea?”

“Chachi ji, I have brought sugar separately. I wasn’t sure how much everyone would want…”

“What nonsense… You don’t know how much sugar…”

“Actually, she did the right thing, Auntie,” Mrinal interposed much to Mrs. Gupta’s annoyance, but she kept her feelings in check before her guest, which she wasn’t wont to doing before her niece. “I don’t take sugar in my tea,” he added, ignoring the surprised and amused glance from his father.

“Send some of the cookies we brought from Goa,” she practically barked at her niece as she added sugar in her tea. Antara went inside to carry out the instruction. But she didn’t come out with the cookies herself. A maid did. Mrinal was terribly disappointed.

He had been extremely reluctant to go to Guptas. But his father had insisted during their evening walk that he should also stop by their good neighbours. He was a grown up man now, and must learn to discharge his social duties. Apparently visiting neighbours in his father’s city also came under its ambit. A city he hadn’t spent much time in several years now. As he had sat there fully aware of every second that passed by and tried to ignore the sound of Mrs. Gupta’s constant chatter, which wasn’t letting his father or Mr. Gupta talk much, he had gotten something like a jolt on seeing this young woman come out with tea. She looked like a protagonist right out of the romance novels. Slim, fair, translucent skin carrying a healthy, pink glow, large eyes, clad in a simple, cream salwar kameez with a thin line of dupatta going around her neck, two gold ear-rings stretching her delicate earlobes and a thin gold bangle adorning each of her wrists. Mrinal didn’t think until then that any such thing as ethereal natural beauty existed. If the distress was missing in her countenance when she had entered, Mrs. Gupta’s rebuff had made up for it and she looked the proverbial damsel in distress as she withdrew from the room they were sitting in.

Who was she?

“So, you are settled in Mumbai, Beta?” Mr. Gupta’s question, which broke the monotone of Mrs. Gupta’s blabber, brought Mrinal out of his reverie.

“Uh… I like my job. So, I guess yes…” Even if he were to leave his job as an assistant professor in Mumbai, he was definitely not interested in coming back to Kolkata. Nothing moved in this sleepy city. Besides his parents and ancestors had created such deep roots here that everybody in this huge city was either a relative or a close acquaintance. The incessant social obligations it created was tiring for Mrinal. There would always be someone or the other visiting at home; there would always be a few social calls to be made; and there never was any conversation that excited him much. The same business issues, cricket and lame, superficial political discussions amongst men. The same jewelry, affairs, wedding and movies discussions amongst women. And it wasn’t like the close-knit community was happy together. Everyone always had some grouse or the other against someone or the other. The sides kept changing though. Two people who sounded like they would eat each other alive if it weren’t illegal were the best pals by the time Mrinal came to spend the next vacation with his parents.

“That’s good. That’s good. It is a city of opportunities. You can also help expand Agarwal Sahab’s . business in the city,” Mr. Gupta responded.

Mrinal just smiled trying not to appear condescending and bored. “He is a teacher by heart Gupta ji. He can’t be bothered with business and all,” his father, Nishant Agarwal, replied while throwing an affectionate smile at his son and patting his shoulder. Mrinal reciprocated his smile. His father was not a big talker, but his understanding was something Mrinal was thankful for. Otherwise charting a course away from the family business would not have been possible for him given the pressure and expectation from his entire extended family and his mother.

—

“Why don’t you tell us if there is a girl tucked away somewhere? Just how much time do you think you are going to take to get married? You are already thirty, beta. Good girls are not going to wait forever. In fact, they get married off earlier.”

“I know, Mummy…”

“If you know, then why aren’t you willing to meet the girls?”

“This is not how I can do things…”

“Then do it your way. Find a girl. So long as she is from our community, what problem can we have… It’s not like we will ask for a fat dowry or anything…”

“Right! That’s precisely how one goes about falling in love! Ask about community; and the dowry-giving capability of the parents…”

“No need to taunt me. I am thinking of your future only…”

“My future is in no grave danger because of my marital status, Mummy…”

“Leave him alone,” Mrinal’s father came to his rescue again.

“Leave him alone, indeed! So that he goes about his wayward ways. When he gets out of hands…”

“That’s enough, Mohini. Let him eat peacefully. Otherwise, he will leave this house sooner than he needs to…”

When his father got stern, his mother did usually shut up. It happened this time too, but not without a concluding grumble, “Men will never understand how much a mother worries or cares…”

“Thank you, Papa,” Mrinal said to his father later in the evening when they were alone.

“You are welcome, son. And while I don’t condone your mother’s pestering, I still share her dream. Of seeing you happily married. Don’t turn away from it just because you feel the need to be different from everyone. Everyone needs company. You are no exception.”

“I know, Papa. But I just can’t get into it this way…”

“That’s fine,” his father smiled at him, “Do it your way, in your time.”

—

But that night Mrinal Agarwal was restless. He tossed and turned in his bed for quite some time before falling asleep. This was unusual, because he was a quick sleeper. And he dreamed. Of an apsara from some TV serial he had watched in his childhood. Except that, he recalled on waking up, her face looked like Antara’s. What the hell! He looked at the clock. He hadn’t had a great sleep with all the dreaming. But he had woken up in time for a quick morning jog. He decided to go for it as it would help him clear his mind. He could always take an afternoon nap if the night’s sleep proved inadequate.

As he went round the park near Guptas’ house, despite himself, his steps traced the path of his yesterday’s reluctant social visit.  The main gate of the house was unlocked as was customary in the locality that prided itself in being safe. There was a large lawn and a garden on the way to the main house. Mrinal hesitated for a moment, but figured that an early morning tea-visit won’t be unwelcome in this society. And as an occasional visitor to the city, he would be especially welcome.

But he froze, when behind a wildly growing rose plant, he spotted her. There was a makeshift easel which she was striking a brush. The ease and boldness of her strokes emanated a confidence that wasn’t visible during their brief encounter yesterday. His train of thoughts were broken by the shrill voice of Mrs. Gupta, “Antara. Where the hell has that girl run off to? Filling up her drawing book again…”

“Coming Chachiji,” Antara hollered back, even her raised voice so much sweeter on ears than her Chachiji’s usual conversational one.

She left everything in a huff and ran off towards the house. She hadn’t noticed him, nor had anyone else. He did something about which he would be incredulous all his life. Where did he get that impulse from? He took long strides towards the easel and found that the boldness of her strokes had done justice to the half-done painting. He bent down and picked up some pieces folded art paper lying on the ground. More paintings. They could have benefitted from being painted on a proper canvas. But she obviously wasn’t getting any pampering or encouragement about them – “drawing book” as they were termed by Mrs. Gupta. Then he noticed a small faux-leather-bound diary, carrying the name of Gupta Enterprises, lying on beside the sheets.  Something she would have gotten from Mr. Gupta’s stationary, either stealthily, or owing to a moment of graciousness from him. Fully aware of how improper it was, he picked it up, and quickly flipped to the first hand-written page after ignoring the photographs of the deities and the last year’s calendar lying between the cover and that page. “Antara” stood out and still blended in the page filled with the pencil sketch of arabesque motifs. He shut the diary and, after looking around, slipped it into the pocket of his track suit. Then he quietly left the house.

—

To be continued

Inevitable (Part 15)

Posted Mish7 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

“Can’t you do your graduation from an open college?” Paritosh asked Rupali one evening.

She hesitated. If she told him of her constraints and problems, he might offer to help again. “I can, I guess,” she replied in a non-committed fashion.

“You never get enough time?” he prodded, leaving her with no option but to admit.

“Yes.”

“If you could leave your job at pharmacy… How much do you make there?”

“No! No Dr. Khanna. I can’t take another penny from you now. There is already…”

“Look at it in another way. I can pay for Soumitra’s and Sugata’s studies while you finish your college. Think of it as student loan. They can repay me when they start earning.”

“Please don’t embarrass me Dr. Khanna. I can’t do that. Please!”

He sighed in disappointment. But he had promised her that he wouldn’t do anything without telling her. If she was so adamant, he would have to back off. “Fine! But if you change your mind, let me know.”

“Okay.”

—

“Dr. Khanna.” Soumitra found Paritosh alone on the Saturday afternoon. Rupali and Meenal were taking a nap. Sugata was studying.

“Soumitra. Come in. What’s up?” A part of the room had mattresses laid out on the floor. He was sitting on one of them, resting his back against the wall and reading a book.

“Can I talk to you for couple of minutes?”

“Sure. Tell me.”

“I never apologized to you…”

“Apologized? For what?”

“What I had said about you, and Didi…”

“Oh! It’s okay, Soumitra. You were worried about your sister. You don’t need to apologize.”

“Didi thinks it was an absurd idea. I think, she meant it was offensive.”

“What was offensive? To whom?”

He chuckled nervously, “The idea that you would want to marry her… Offensive to you?”

Paritosh frowned. “Offensive? To me?” he mumbled more to himself than to Soumitra. Then he looked up at him, “Why don’t you sit down, Soumitra? Let’s talk about whatever you have in your mind.”

He sat down opposite him on the mattress and said after a pause, “I don’t know if I am doing the right thing, Dr. Khanna. By talking to you. Can you promise not to tell Didi? And not to let it affect her job… I am doing something that might potentially embarrass her.”

“Relax Soumitra. We are together on that point. I won’t do anything to increase her troubles. Now tell me, what is it that you really want to ask?”

“That day, when I was ranting about Didi giving so much time to Meenal and you… you had said that you weren’t so selfish that you would saddle her with Meenal’s responsibility for life. Was that your only objection? If you were not worried about it potentially being unfair to her, would you propose to her? Would you marry her?”

Despite having anticipated, where this was going, the direct question unnerved him for a while. Then he smiled, “Between ‘would I propose her?’ and ‘would I marry her?’ you forgot to ask the most important question. Would she say ‘yes’? And if she doesn’t, what would it mean for her, for Meenal, for me, for you and Sugata? What we have here is a comfortable, even if not ideal, arrangement. Once I say something, things must move forward, together or apart. It won’t be possible for us to return to this. Do you understand that?”

“You are only talking about her not agreeing. What about you? Wouldn’t it bother you that she is not well-educated, she is poor…”

“You think those are my objections?”

“She thinks so…”

“You have spoken to her?” Paritosh was suddenly more alert to the conversation.

“Sort of. After listing out all her shortcomings, she did not let me discuss it any further though.”

“She didn’t say anything about Meenal? Or about me?”

“No.”

“What does it mean Soumitra?” he could feel his heart-beats increasing.

“I can’t say Dr. Khanna. Why don’t you ask her? I think she loves Meenal too much to leave her just like that. If it came to the point of going forward apart, she would hate me as much as you will… I think so…”

“And how about you? And Sugata?”

He chuckled, “She isn’t going to leave us behind. For anything. So, it’s not for us to worry. It’s for you to think through. We come in a package, unfortunately. That is another shortcoming of hers that anyone associated with her has to live with. I should get going now. I have a test to study for as well.”

“Hmm…” Paritosh had withdrawn into some world of his own. He was no longer paying any attention to Soumitra. Soumitra smiled and noiselessly left the room.

—

“Dr. Khanna… Meenal…” Rupali was out of breath, and probably of mind, as she barged into the room later in the afternoon. She spotted Meenal with him and sighed in relief. “I woke up and didn’t find her.”

“Relax,” he smiled at her, “She was awake when I walked by her room. She was going to wake you up. I brought her away so that you could sleep for a while longer.”

She was still panting. “I will check on milk for her…”

“She had it already. Rupali, why don’t you come and sit down with us?”

There was something extremely intimate about the idea of sitting with him in his bedroom. She had noticed the mattresses on the floor earlier. Did he like sitting on the floor? She walked in slowly and sat across him.

He leaned forward a little as he spoke, “You got so worried for her?”

“I was sleepy. And it just didn’t occur to me that you were around and could have taken her.”

“What did you think?”

“I wasn’t thinking anything. I was scared to death.”

He fell silent.

“What happened?” she asked anxiously when he didn’t continue the conversation.

“You have too many worries to take care of alone, don’t you?”

“Why… are you… saying that?” she frowned slightly.

“How does it feel? Caring so much for someone?”

“What kind of a question is that?” she chuckled nervously, “And why are you asking me that? You know very well.”

“And do you know how does it feel to care for someone, but not being able to do anything for them? Because you have no right to.”

Rupali did not know where this was going. She stared at him, while clutching hard at the mattress.

“There are things I want to be different; things that are within my means. And yet – I can’t have them the way I want. Because I have no rights over you.”

“Dr. Khanna!” she could barely speak and gulped hard.

“I would like you to leave that draining, awfully timed pharmacy job; I would like you to go to college, to have you build your career the way you would have dreamt before… But you say no to my support. And I have to back off. I can’t insist; I can’t impose. I have no rights,” he grew agitated.

“Dr. Khanna. Please stop.” She was extremely nervous now. Was he offended? Did she have to make some amends again? Can’t her life remain uneventful for a while? Can’t she feel secure in her position even for a few days?

“I have gone too far to stop. I want some rights over you, Rupali. I want to be able to dictate some things. ”

“I don’t understand,” she was extremely scared. It was making no sense.

“You don’t understand? You are anyway not going to get rid of Meenal’s responsibility. I don’t want you to be just a mother-figure to her. I want you to be her mother.”

Rupali jerked in surprise.

“I want you to marry me.” There! He had managed to say it. He waited with his anxieties soaring high.

Her throat went dry. She looked away. This wasn’t happening, was it? It was impossible. She wasn’t worthy of him.

“You are not in your right mind,” she mumbled after a pause, “Do you realize what you are saying?”

“Why is it so difficult to believe?”

Instead of replying, she got up and ran away from there.

“Damn it!” Paritosh cursed under his breath. Had he screwed it all up? He turned to his daughter, “Meenu will stay here, okay? Don’t go anywhere.”

“Meenu will stay here,” she repeated. Paritosh got up and rushed out to find Rupali. He could not immediately locate her. After searching in the various rooms and the lawn, he went to the swimming pool.  She was leaning against a pole there and was crying unhindered. He looked around. Nobody was there.

Did she disagree with his proposal and was worrying about her job again? That was very likely.

“Rupali,” he approached her, “Stop crying please. What are you worried about? You don’t want it? Just say so. Nothing has changed. Nothing at all. I am the same Paritosh… Dr. Khanna you have always known. Just tell me you don’t want it and we will forget I ever said anything. I repeat, Rupali. Nothing has changed.”

She had stopped crying by then. She wiped her tears. “How can nothing change?”

He was doomed! Everything was going to fall apart. He had to pull it back together. He tried desperately, “Of course, it can. Just forget I said anything…”

“You are not letting me talk,” she complained.

“Yeah… Right…” he grew embarrassed at his abrupt attempts to set things right. “Please… talk…” he added foolishly.

“Why me?”

“Why you?” he was incredulous at her question, “Didn’t I almost give a speech a while back?”

“Because you want rights over me? To set my life right?”

“What?”

“Is this another way of helping me? Because otherwise I don’t let you?”

“What the hell, Rupali? What do you think? You aren’t the only one who works for me. I don’t go around doing this to help people…”

“You want to marry an uneducated, broke girl who survives on what you pay her?”

“Education and money can be acquired, Rupali. But strength of character and kindness of heart? They are another matter. They just have to be there. And who will value those more than me? I love you, you idiot! How do I make you believe this?”

Her eyes became moist again.

“Why are you crying again?” he was out of his wits, “You don’t believe me?”

“I believe you. You said it. I believe you.”

“I said what? Oh!” she was looking for those three words. The practical breadwinner and provider of the family had a romantic girl in her too! That was reassuring. The responsibilities and struggles of life had not killed her youthful dreams. He smiled feeling hopeful, “I can say it a thousand times, if you need to hear it.”

“No. I believe you. But will you believe me…” she choked.

“Believe you on what?”

“That I am madly in love you. And it’s not about your money.”

He held her shoulders and chuckled softly, “You have refused money too many times to let me depend on my money to win you, Rupali. I was relying on your feelings. I am glad I was right.”

A broad grin broke on her lips even as she looked down. She felt like laughing, and jumping. Impossible had happened to her. Nothing could go wrong with her life any longer. But she was too shy to react with that much exuberance. She just let herself relax as he put his arms around her and drew her in a close, tight hug. They no longer had to feel awkward about doing that!

– The End –

Inevitable (Part 14)

Posted MishLeave a commentPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

“What are these?” Rupali asked in surprise as Paritosh handed her a small packet with a bunch of pills.

“You said you were unwell. I just went to a chemist…”

“Dr. Khanna. I just needed paracetamol. I have already taken it. If I sleep for couple of hours I will be fine.”

“There are some for cold and cough as well, if needed…”

“I just have slight fever and body pain. I will be fine. Trust me.”

“Are you sure I should leave Meenal here? I can try taking her with me…” Rupali had called him up that morning and requested him to drop Meenal at her place, instead of Rupali going to theirs. She was not feeling well.

“She is at home here. She won’t be any trouble. I will lock the house from inside. Even if I fall asleep for a bit, she would be fine.”

“Yeah. Okay then. If there is any problem, don’t hesitate in calling.”

“I won’t. Thanks, Dr. Khanna.”

“Take care. Bye.”

—

When Paritosh came back in the evening, the door to the house was unlocked. He pushed it and came in. He was greeted by a strange sight. Meenal was sitting in front of Rupali’s computer, apparently typing away. The computer was old, he noticed. It was probably the one she had bought while her parents were still alive. Rupali was standing behind Meenal, with her right hand on her chin, fingers covering her lips. Her eyes were moist and it seemed like she was trying hard to suppress a sob.

“What’s going on?” he asked and came forward to stand beside Rupali. What he saw on the screen virtually blew his mind off.

“She has typed all this?” he asked wide-eyed.

Rupali only nodded; she was too overwhelmed to speak.

Paritosh went forward and kneeled on the floor beside Meenal. She looked at him and stopped typing. He took the Mouse and scrolled up. First few pages were gibberish. Probably she was randomly pressing keys on the keyboard. Then she had started typing the alphabets in order. Finally the words; and then sentences she practiced for school and exams.

It was the last couple of pages that held real surprise.

“Her name is Rupali,” read one of the paragraphs, “She smiles. She laughs. She is happy. Meenu is happy. Meenu cannot talk. Rupali. Throat itches. Rupali looks like Mamma.”

“Papa does not laugh,” she had typed next, “Meenu loves Papa. Papa cries. Papa is not happy. Meenu loves Rupali. Rupali is happy.”

Paritosh looked at his daughter. She was sitting still; her face, as usual, not showing any emotions. But the screen in front of him told him what she could never express. As Rupali had thought, she understood. “No Meenu. Papa is happy. Papa is very happy with Meenu. Do you understand?”

She managed an awkward nod.

“And Papa loves Meenu.”

She nodded again.

Then Paritosh got up and went to Rupali. She could no longer hold herself back. She started sobbing. Paritosh tried to calm her down and did not realize when, in that process, took her in his arms. She sobbed for a while with her head resting on his chest.

“Hey. Why are you crying? It’s great, isn’t it? You were right. She understands. Everything.”

They weren’t aware of Soumitra standing at the door. He did not make any sound and after a while slipped out noiselessly.

“I’m sorry,” she got a hold of herself finally and stepped back, “I was so overwhelmed.”

“Of course,” he said softly, “How did it happen, though?”

“Accidentally. She was bored of all the toys that were here. I wasn’t feeling well enough to teach her anything. So, I tried to see if something on computer can keep her busy. She liked the keyboard; I think she recognized the letters. Then I left her to play with it. She did all this by herself. I had fallen asleep for a while. I got up, when some salesman came and knocked at the door. After sending him off, I noticed this. That’s when you came in.”

“You are happy, aren’t you?”

“I am. And you?”

“Very happy. I am very happy.”

“Papa,” Meenal’s voice drew their attention. They went to her. She had typed something again.

“Papa loves Meenu. Papa is happy.”

Paritosh smiled at her. “Yes. Papa loves Meenu. Papa is very happy.”

—

“I ran into Meher Didi today,” Soumitra told Rupali and Sugata while they ate dinner later in the evening. Rupali had found someone who agreed to do the night shift at the pharmacy, and she had taken off from there. She would have a good night’s sleep to recover.

“Oh! And?” Rupali asked curiously.

“She told me that Dr. Khanna is all praises for you.”

“Hmm…”

“She was quite surprised about it. Apparently it is quite difficult to please Dr. Khanna. And with Meenal, it was particularly tough.”

“I was lucky that way, Soumitra. She herself took to me.”

“You also love her Didi, don’t you?”

Rupali laughed nervously, “Is that a trick question? Are you going to ask me to choose between her and you?”

“No. No,” Soumitra hastened to clarify, “Nothing like that. I… I might behave like a jerk sometimes, Didi. But I never meant to create problems for you.”

“Hey! It’s all right. What’s up with you? Is something bothering you?”

“No Didi. Not at all. I am just trying to have a conversation. It’s not an investigation or something.”

Rupali relaxed and laughed slightly, “Okay Boss. As you say. So, what were you asking?”

“I was asking about Meenal. You love the kid, don’t you?”

“Yes Soumitra,” she replied somberly, “I love her. She is an unfortunate child. She added after a pause, “Even though Ma-Baba are not with us, we know that they loved us. They would never have abandoned us knowingly. Her mother, on the other hand, never accepted her. She committed suicide because of her. It is not a pretty situation.”

“Hmm… But Dr. Khanna is different, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. He is a very nice and caring man. He loves his daughter. He would do anything for her.”

“He cares a lot even for you, Didi.”

“Well. As I said, he is a nice man.”

“It’s not just about being civil. But caring… I mean that washing machine… Club drive or not… He did it for you.”

“Yes. He is very generous too.”

“I mean… I think he is in love with you, Didi.”

“Soumitra!” Sugata interrupted before Rupali could say anything, “You are again talking rubbish. Saying things without thinking. What is wrong with you? Why are you so intent on hurting her?”

“I am doing nothing of that sort,” Soumitra replied patiently, but firmly, “Didi. I am just saying what I felt. I am not being judgmental. I don’t even mean that something should come out of it. But what do you think about it? If he asks, would you marry him?”

Rupali’s initial shock and nervousness had subsided. She could carefully choose her words, “I am not going to marry anyone, Soumitra. My only concerns in life right now are your studies, and you careers.”

“But if he asks?”

“Don’t have absurd dreams. I am his employee – a house help, caretaker for his daughter, who he has taken pity on and who he is paying more than usual. He is a professor; I am not even a college graduate. He is from a rich, prestigious family. I won’t even be able to make ends meet, if he stops paying me. Do you see how absurd your proposition is?”

“And he is too old for her,” Sugata added.

“That is not the point, Sugata,” Rupali contradicted him; though immediately realized that she should have stayed silent. It could give away her real feelings to Soumitra, who was very perceptive, “But nevertheless. Let’s not try to read too much into the generosity of a rich man. Let’s eat what we are lucky enough to have on the table today.”

Soumitra sighed and shook his head. As Rupali had worried, her contradicting Sugata’s point had not escaped his notice. If she didn’t think anything about him, whey should she bother responding to that objection? And there were other things he had noticed too. All her objections were from Paritosh’ side. She never said that she didn’t like him, or that she would say no. She loved not only Meenal, but her father too. And she was too insecure about her shortcomings to accept it before anyone else.

—

To be continued

Inevitable (Part 13)

Posted MishLeave a commentPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

Things were all right on Paritosh’ front. But Rupali still had to do something about Soumitra. He was upset and had started giving her silent treatment. She tried to get Sugata to mediate, but Soumitra would not give in. He would not even say what was bothering him. It grew worse when he announced that he wasn’t coming with them to Paritosh’ house that weekend.

“Why not?”

“I have to study.”

“You can do that there. You always do.”

“I am going to study with friends.”

That wasn’t true. He never did that, she knew it. When she woke up on Saturday to put the clothes in washing machine, an idea struck her. If washing machine was the root of all problems…

“What are you doing?” Soumitra came to the bathroom, where Rupali was sitting with heaps of clothes and washing them by hand.

“Washing clothes, Soumitra. What else?” she replied matter-of-factly.

“What happened to the washing machine?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you not using it?”

She sighed and looked at him, “Because a washing machine is not more important than my brother for me.  It is that machine that has made you upset, isn’t it? That I did not return it?”

Soumitra flushed and stood silent.

“I am sorry, Soumitra. I really am. For having scolded you.”

“Why did you keep the washing machine, then?”

“There was indeed a drive by the club…”

“He doesn’t go to a club, you had said.”

“But he is a lifetime member. He showed me the e-mails.”

“The machine was from the club?”

“No. It was his. But he was planning to give it for the drive.”

“Hmm…”

“Soumitra, it is likely that it is still a favor; that he just taking cover behind the drive. But he is acutely aware of the things that you are bothered about. For example, the amount of time I have to give to Meenal. He is trying to make up for it; and make up in a way that works for us. He pays me more, which is helpful. This was one misguided way of making up, but I just couldn’t burn my bridges with him. So, I kept it. You probably felt betrayed after how I had scolded you. I am sorry, I burst out. But I am just trying to balance things… I also don’t always know what is right or wrong. I felt that his heart was in the right place. So, I let this one go… I made him promise that he won’t do something like this in future…”

Soumitra looked thoughtful; then spoke with a smile, “Then why are you not using the machine?”

“I didn’t want to burn bridges with him. But more than that, I can’t afford to alienate you Soumitra. If you hate the machine, I don’t want to use it. What do you think has kept me going for all these years, since Ma-Baba’s death? It is the two of you. If you are not happy, there is no point to my life, my job…” her eyes became moist.

“Didi!”

“That’s how it is. Don’t you understand that?”

“Let’s put the clothes in the washing machine, shall we?”

“Soumitra…”

“I am sorry, Didi. I really am. I was angry. I shouldn’t have been.”

“Now you are not?”

He shook his head; then said again, “Let’s put the clothes in the washing machine.”

—

Preparing Meenal to write exams at school took considerable efforts. They had to request the school to let her attend classes for a few days following up to the exams so that she got used to school and other children. The first couple of days were particularly difficult and Rupali had to be physically present in every class drawing some curious glances from students and staff. But after that they were surprised to see the improvements. Meenal was not only able to follow teacher’s instructions; she also made a couple of friends. With the help of the therapist, Rupali repeatedly tried to acquaint her with what to expect during exams. She arranged for some older papers and conducted mock tests at home. During the exams, Meenal went to the exam hall by herself and wrote the paper following the instructions.

Paritosh walked in excitedly a few days after the exams.

“She stood fifth in her class,” he informed her, “It’s unbelievable, Rupali.”

“Really? You have her marks sheet?”

“There is no marks sheet, but I have noted them down. Here. See this. Highest in Maths and Drawing, very good in General Knowledge, and she managed to scrape through even in Hindi and English.”

“Congratulations, Dr. Khanna.”

“Congratulations to you, Rupali. This has all been your hard work.”

“In trying to give each other credit, we are forgetting our little princess here. She is the one who has done it. Meenu. See how well you did. Look at your marks,” Rupali kneeled to talk to Meenal and showed her the diary in which Paritosh had noted down the marks.

“One hundred,” Meenal looked at her score in Maths and said.

“Yes. Full marks. Meenu did very well. We are all so proud of you. Do you want to celebrate, Meenu? What do you want? Sweets? Chocolates?”

“Candy.”

Paritosh looked surprised. “She asked for it?”

“Yes Sir. I was going to tell you that. For last couple of days, she has been telling me when and what she wants to eat.”

Paritosh looked happy and emotional.

“I will get some candies for her,” Rupali made to go to kitchen, when Meenal threw another surprise at them.

“Meenu. Papa. Swimming.”

“Meenu wants to go swimming?” Paritosh asked barely able to hide the quivering in his voice. Before this she used to ask for it only with signals.

“Meenu wants to go swimming,” she repeated after him.

“Now?”

“Now.”

“Let’s go.”

“Don’t you want to change and freshen up, Sir?”

“I’m fine. Will you please bring her candy to the pool.”

“Okay!” The mention of going to the pool after him made her heart jump. Will he be in the water too?

—

He wasn’t! He sat by and watched as Meenal enjoyed water in the lifebuoy.

“Meenu. Candy. Meenu. Candy,” Meenal said when she saw Rupali coming. They put a candy in her mouth without taking her out of the water.

“I have some good news for you too,” Paritosh told Rupali.

“More good news, you mean?” she smiled.

“Yeah,” he laughed slightly. He was very happy, she noticed with satisfaction. “The principal was interested in speaking to you.”

“What for?”

“To see if you would be interested in taking up a job with them. As a teacher. Given Meenu’s performance, he thought you could work with other children…”

Rupali gave a resigned smile, “I don’t think he realizes that I am not even a graduate. He won’t be able to give me a job. Policies won’t allow it. And there would be too many objections.”

“But… Surely there would be a way out. You can help children…”

“You can ask him and satisfy yourself, Dr. Khanna. I have tried enough. I am very happy working with Meenal. Don’t want to try what is beyond me and get disappointed. I think she has had enough,” she pointed towards Meenal and changed the subject, “She wants to get out.”

Paritosh looked thoughtful as he helped Meenal out of the pool.

—

To be continued

Inevitable (Part 12)

Posted Mish1 CommentPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

Paritosh  stopped in his tracks at the door. Soumitra was back and he was shouting.

“Why is she here? Why was her father here?”

“He came to drop me. I got late,” Rupali replied patiently.

“And because of whom did you get late? Them! Even after that they can’t leave you alone, even at your home now?”

“I need to cook dinner before leaving, Soumitra. Why are we wasting time? What has come upon you? You know how things are.”

“Right. A nice 24/7 job this is. Or even worse. Have you started thinking of yourself as her mother already? What next, Didi? Are you going to get married to him or what? What is going on anyway?”

Rupali was stunned. Sugata admonished Soumitra. He was uncertain doing this. What was wrong with the world? It used to be the other way round all the time. “You are out of your mind, Soumitra. Is this how you talk to Didi?”

“Soumitra,” Paritosh interrupted startling them all. He went to Meenal and took her away from Rupali before continuing further, “What she has done for my daughter, and for that matter for the two of you, is more than what most mothers would be able to do. But don’t worry. I have no intention of saddling her with the burden of an autistic child for life. What you just accused her and me of, is not going to happen.  I am not that selfish.  You can be at ease about that. And if you do plan for a future for your sister, you should do a better job of it.”

He walked out with Meenal.  She didn’t protest. Did she sense the tension, he wondered. He fed her in the car and then drove off.

Back in Rupali’s house, nobody said anything.  Rupali cooked dinner. Sugata helped her, while Soumitra pretended to be busy with his books.

—

The first few moments between Paritosh and Rupali were awkward the next morning.  After she had left Meenal with her exercise books, Rupali brought up the issue. “I’m sorry about Soumitra’s…”

“Don’t!” he stopped her, “Don’t do that. His concern was genuine. He…”

“He was taking out some other frustration, Dr. Khanna. He didn’t mean a word of…”

“Rupali. I am not complaining. What I am saying is that whether or not he meant it, what he said was valid. We… I mean Meenal should not be so dependent on you. It just can’t go on like this… She has to become independent.”

“Of course, she has to become independent. That is what the therapy, schooling, socialization everything is about, isn’t it?”

“I meant independent of you. The real independence, what you are talking about, is going to take years…”

“You don’t think I would be by her until she…”

“It’s too long a time, Rupali…”

“Are you asking me to leave this job?” she tried to steel her voice and not show the anxiety she felt inside.

“Wouldn’t that be good for everyone?”

Her face paled. She looked away and bit her lips. How exactly should she feel? Insulted that he should once again fire her? Insecure that a well-paying job was being taken away and all her financial planning will go haywire again? Heart-broken that she could no longer be around the people she had come to like so much, to love even – Meenal… and her father?

“You don’t agree?” he asked. She was consumed with her own worries. She didn’t realize he wasn’t as certain about it all, as she was imagining him to be. Deep down, he was looking for a discussion, a conversation, an assurance… that she would be around. He could not gather enough courage to ask that directly.

“I? I don’t know… You are her father. You’d know what works the best for her,” she managed to think of a graceful reply. But she spoke it in quite a distracted manner.

“And you? What is best for you?” he asked earnestly.

“Me?”

“Yes Rupali. You!”

She feared that tears would betray her. She closed her eyes and rubbed them, as if having a headache. She opened them and looked at him after she regained some control, “You are asking me what is best for me, Dr. Khanna. Best when? Five years down the line? Ten years down the line? I wish I had enough control over my destiny, and enough foresight, to know what is best for me over the course of my entire life. But I don’t have either. I can only talk about the present. Let’s assume that this job means nothing to me other than it being a job. Like any other, which brings some money. And it doesn’t matter to Meenal or to you who her caretaker is. You can find one, probably someone much cheaper than I am. Let’s assume all that and let’s talk about only the job part of it. What problem do you see in this job? That my brother thinks it is taking up too much of my time. And that sometimes he gets so angry that he starts accusing me… and you of things… I know that it was highly offensive for you Dr. Khanna. But you asked what is best for me. So, let us talk about me. Firstly, is it possible that three people stay together and never have any problems among them? I don’t think so. My leaving this job would not mean that I never have any fights with my brothers. Second, should I take my brother’s objection to my job seriously? Answer is, if I did that, I’d never have had a job.  Given my situation, given my lack of education, I am never going to find a job that would be good enough in his eyes. He is mature for his age, Dr. Khanna. But he is fourteen. He thinks he can run the world, but the world doesn’t run on the whims of fourteen year olds. Not unless they are the children of rich and powerful people. I remember what I was like at that age, and how I often fought with, and hurt my parents. There is only so much about him that I can take seriously. His objection to my jobs isn’t one of them. He has never liked a single a job that I have ever picked up. And finally, why only him? Even I have never liked any of the jobs I have picked up. Not before this one. What are my options if I have to leave this job? Going back to work on the shop floor of a supermarket, and not being allowed to sit down for hours at stretch? Yes – Meenal’s welfare should not be compromised because I need a job and money. But you asked what is best for me. Why don’t you tell me? What do you think is best for me?”

A stunned silence prevailed between them for a few moments as Paritosh reflected on the things she had just said. He knew that her finances were fragile. It had been a while since he had known her, but he hadn’t been able to internalize what it meant in everyday life. It meant that a costly gift could be an affront to self-respect, and not a sign of care. It meant that you couldn’t quit even a menial job to take care of the family, because the money it brought was required to take care of that very family. It meant that you made compromises between spending time with the family, and earning enough for them.

“I hope I am saying it for the last time,” he spoke slowly after a while, “I am sorry. Rupali, I mess it up every time. I won’t do that again. I am sorry I even asked. You must stay. You will, won’t you?”

“Can you trust me, Dr. Khanna that I won’t just disappear one day. It’s a job, yes! But it is the first job that I don’t want to quit. I won’t leave Meenal to her own devices so long as she needs me.”

“I trust you, Rupali. With Meenal, I trust you more than I trust myself. And with your brothers, and yourself, if I can be of any help, in anything, ever… I will be a very happy man.”

—

To be continued

Inevitable (Part 11)

Posted Mish2 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

“Yes. It wasn’t possible to provide for everyone, if I didn’t work full time.”

“Don’t you feel bitter? At fate?”

“I don’t know. I probably don’t think much. Not as much as you,” she replied and realized that it was indeed true. Ever since she had rushed to the accident site, hugged her eight-year old brothers, and realized that their parents were dead, all her mind was occupied with was what to do next. “I have always been in a rush,” she continued, “To find a place to stay in, to find a job, to earn enough to pay their school fees, to make sure that they ate, to ensure that I myself don’t fall ill…”

He stared at her, his expressions a mixture of astonishment and admiration. Money makes a whole lot of difference. Loss of people would not make the life such a hardship if there was money. If after Amrit’s death, he had to worry even about how to provide for Meenal, how to pay enough to hire a caretaker, life would have been so much more miserable. He wasn’t even dependent on his job for his financial security. If Rupali hadn’t come, he had almost made up his mind to leave his job to take care of his daughter and to give her his full attention.

But then, was it the money that made Amrit so weak and dependent? Would she have been more of a fighter, if she hadn’t always had things easy? It was a weird thought.

Rupali grew conscious of his stare. “I am boring you,” she chuckled nervously.

“No!” he replied, “I want to know. How did you manage? What happened after their death?” His voice was eager.

She took a deep breath. It was the first time she would recall everything. She was scared of the exercise. Still, she went ahead. The first few days were hazy. But she remembered getting help from neighbors. She managed to get the little money that was lying in the bank. It wouldn’t last for long. Her father’s earnings were not a lot. She could not find any insurance papers either, which everyone asked her to look for. Probably there were none. She would have to earn. But before she could do anything about it, roof over their heads became uncertain. The landlord wanted a family in his house. A young orphaned girl with two children wasn’t an ideal tenant. Who knew what she would do in his house? He wanted her to vacate the house within a month. “You should live with your relatives,” he declared. The neighbors could not help this time. It was his house; he could decide whatever he wanted. They did offer her shelter for appearance sake, but it wasn’t sincere and it would not be a long-term solution.

Some friends, who were not form the city, and who were staying here for studies, came to her rescue. They found a room for her in their Paying Guest (PG) accommodation, where she stayed with Soumitra and Sugata, while looking for a job.  She had sold off every household article possible, except her newly acquired computer, before shifting. That got her some more cash. Some of other girls staying in the house were cooperative and they looked after the boys, while she was away on her job search. But others objected very soon. It was a women’s PG. So what if the boys were merely eight-years old. They couldn’t stay there for long. As soon as she got a job as a floor helper at a retail store, she moved out to her current accommodation. It belonged to the parents of one of her school friends. They took pity on her and charged nominal rent. Sometimes she could not manage to pay rent for months. They did not bother her. It wasn’t a great place. But they had a roof over their head. They made a cozy home out of it. Since then, it had always been the search for the next job that would pay better. When she joined the pharmacy a couple of months ago, she realized that she could earn more by taking night shifts. So, she volunteered to do all the night shifts. That also opened up the possibility of taking up another day-time job.

“Now that I think about it Dr. Khanna, I have been lucky. If one landlord or a few girls at a PG created troubles, many more friends came forward to help. My brothers were so young, but they never gave me any problems. They looked after themselves while I worked. And they take as much care of me today, as I do of them. So, I’m not bitter. Incomplete as it might be, I have a home and a family.”

“Incomplete? If you look at it from my perspective, between three children, you have been able to create a more functional and complete family than us; even with two adults at the helm!” He didn’t explain it. That their marriage was hitting the rocks even before Meenal was born. A child was supposed to solve their problems…

She suddenly felt tired of the gloominess. “What would you take to stop beating yourself up?” she asked with unusual sauciness to change the mood.

He laughed, not loudly, but genuinely, “Nothing. I am trying to learn.”

“Oh God!” she jumped as she noticed the time, “It’s already six. I need to go.”

He realized that it’d cut down on her sleep time. “Let me drop you. It will be faster.”

“No… That’s not required, Sir. And you have to stay with Meenal.”

“Meenal won’t mind a little outing either. Let’s go.”

—

When they reached her home, Meenal wouldn’t let her go. She cried until Rupali picked her up and took her inside with her.

Paritosh grew embarrassed. “This was a bad idea!”

“No Sir. There is no problem. She just likes to stay around. I can sleep, if you don’t mind waiting.”

“Like I have a choice! But I am not carrying her snacks and milk.”

“Sugata and Soumitra will be here in an hour. They can get whatever she needs.”

“Once they come, I will myself go out and get it. But you must sleep right away. Please go.”

—

“Dr. Khanna?” Sugata and Soumitra were surprised to find him at their house when they came back.

“Hi Soumitra, Sugata. Good that you are back. I need to step out…”

“Sugata,” Soumitra said dryly, “Can you check if any luggage tempo is available from the market. We need to load the washing machine…”

“What? No,” Paritosh interrupted, “That’s not needed Soumitra. Rupali and I have talked about it.”

“And she is fine with it?”

“Yes, she is.”

“Great!” Soumitra threw his bag on one of the cots and went out of the house.

Sugata looked about confused about what to do. “I… I am sorry, Dr. Khanna. He had a bad day. You said you had to step out.”

“Uh… Yeah,” despite the worry about Soumitra’s behavior, Meenal’s food must be there in time. “Rupali is sleeping. Meenal is with her and is refusing to come with me. I need to buy something for her. If you are around for a while…”

“Yeah. No problem. I will be here.”

“Thanks. I will be back in ten minutes.”

—

To be continued