The First Option (Part 6)

Posted 1 CommentPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

“What’s the matter?” Mukundo asked when they were back at home, “What are you preoccupied with?”

“Nothing.”

“Guddi! No secrets from me, please.”

“I met Ahwaan today.”

“What? Where?” he jumped in surprise.

“While waiting for the car, after the play.”

“And?” he was getting worried.

“He said that you had called him.”

He stayed silent. Did that upset her?

“And that you talked him out of marrying me,” she added.

“What! Piyali…”

“I told him that he was a liar and he should take his dirty tricks elsewhere.”

He sighed, “You trust me, right? I won’t do something like that. Not to you…”

She nodded, “He was obviously bitter that I had moved on and wanted to create doubts in my head. I know that you won’t do that to me Mukundo Babu. You won’t have done that even if you really wanted me. A selfish person like him won’t understand that wanting someone is not the only reason to accept them. I do know, however, that the only reason we are here today is because you care for me infinitely…”

“Wait a minute,” he interrupted, “He was wrong. And so are you.”

She looked up at him questioningly.

“I had called him up. But not before you came here. After that. After you had told me everything. I had called him up in an attempt to persuade him to reconsider your relationship. I did that although I had already proposed to you. So, yes, he was lying and was trying to mess up with you. But I hadn’t called him because I didn’t want you, Piyali.  No. I had called him because I knew that even if you accepted me, you would feel burdened about that decision. Whereas if he came back, you would be happy. I had called him because I cared for you; because I wanted your happiness more than anything else in the world. More than even my own. And I care for you, and want your happiness, because… Because I love you.”

It was her turn to be taken aback. Really? Did he say that?

“You never felt that?” he asked.

“You have loved me ever since I can remember anything, Mukundo Babu. Like a best friend, a mentor, a guardian… Who wouldn’t feel that? Why else did I keep running to you every time I had a problem, or every time I was happy? But I never flattered myself that I was good enough to be your partner…”

“And I never told you how precious you are,” he said as if thinking aloud.

“You treat me preciously, Mukundo Babu. That is not the point. Not at all,” her voice quivered.

“What is the point, then?” he asked sincerely and eagerly.

“You said that the wedding was a formality; that I shouldn’t act like a wife to you, and… it has been,” she averted her eyes and looked down, “five months since our wedding. You haven’t so much as touched me. I don’t blame you, Mukundo Babu. I never fancied…”

Mukundo looked amused and overwhelmed at the same time. Piyali stopped speaking. She felt foolish all of a sudden. Mukundo broke the silence, “Wedding was a formality because all that mattered to me was that you would be in my life. Rituals didn’t matter to me. I don’t remember when I said anything about not acting like a wife. But what I must have meant was that… just be yourself. Nothing needed to change between us. I loved you the way you were. I would always love you that way. But I can’t blame you for not knowing what I felt, Guddi. I wouldn’t have realized myself what you meant to me if Kaka’s job hadn’t taken you away from Kolkata. It has been what… ten years? You were fourteen at that time. I had teased you endlessly before you left that I won’t even bother to remember you. And you were so upset. I didn’t mean that, of course. But I hadn’t known just how much I would miss you either.  I didn’t have any work to do in Mumbai every three months or so. I came to see you. It was like a regular fix I needed…”

Piyali was wide-eyed with the revelations, “You never told me anything. Did you… did you tell Baba?”

“I was twelve when you were born Pihu Rani. I didn’t think it would be acceptable to either you, or Kaka. And you had your own life…”

She flushed, “I… None of it was serious Mukundo Babu. At least not before Ahwaan…”

“Nothing to get defensive about. It was natural. You were exploring your world… I did tell Kaka after the wedding though.”

“Was that why he was in a better mood before leaving?”

“Probably.”

“You could have told me then at least…”

He sighed.

“What is it…” she asked eagerly.

“You wouldn’t have believed me. Whatever little I did say, you thought I said it just to make you feel good. And also… wouldn’t it have made me look like an opportunist? As if I was trying to take advantage of your vulnerable situation… Then I didn’t want to put you under anymore stress. I didn’t want you to feel pressurized to reciprocate my feelings. Everything was so complicated and I was trying to simplify it…”

“Pressurized? You are my hero, Mukundo Babu. You have always been…”

“Not a lover, Piyali…”

“Because I never dared… never dared to think that I could be good enough for you. You were this responsible, wise, nice man… Good at everything. Good with everybody. Even someone as exacting as Baba spoke so highly of you. The couple of women I had seen you with… How many years would it have taken me to be like them. And by then you would have become even better. I didn’t dare, Mukundo Babu. I was just thankful that you had not forgotten me like you had said you would. And that you kept coming to Mumbai and meet us often. I had always been so awed with you that I didn’t even think of looking for someone like you for myself…”

“You had said that…”

“Said what?”

“That you weren’t looking for someone like me for yourself. When you had asked me to talk to Kaka about Ahwaan you had said that he won’t approve of anyone, because he would only want someone like me and you weren’t looking for someone like me.”

“Because,” she smiled through her moist eyes, “Because there is no one like you. There can’t be. It would have been a wild-goose chase to try to find someone like you. I had kept you in my heart as the hero. For real life, I had aimed for much less. I didn’t think you were an option.”

He did not say anything; just smiled.

“I didn’t realize that you were my first and the final and the only option. Do you still love me, Mukundo Babu? Do you want me?”

“What do you think?”

“You do.”

“Yes. I do.” He went forward, held her close and kissed her, gently at first, then probing her mouth for long, leaving her out of breath by the time they separated. “I know it has given wrong signals to you, Piyali. But I will wait for our baby to safely come into the world. This baby is the reason you are in my life finally. It is very precious to me.”

Him saying “our baby” did not escape her notice. Everything was indeed going to be all right.

To be continued

The First Option (Part 5)

Posted Leave a commentPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

The timing wasn’t great for starting a new job. She would have to take maternity leave within few months. Mukundo suggested that she should look for freelance reporting and writing assignments instead and she did that. She chose to write about the musical and cultural events in the city and Mukundo happily accompanied her to these events.

It had been five months since she had landed back in Kolkata. Her pregnancy was now showing. People around her had been surprised at how quickly it happened. “No wonder,” one house help had teased her, “Mukundo Babu can’t seem to keep his hands off you, Didi. It is Piyali, Pihu Rani all the time.” Some others had secretly whispered to each other speculating that it had happened before the marriage and that’s why they had such a hurried wedding. She bore the teasing with graceful smiles and avoided paying attention to disapproving looks and whispers. Her thoughts were solely occupied with Mukundo. He had tucked her in the bed every night since the wedding, after ensuring that she had her medicines; and had gone on to sleep next to her as if that was the most natural thing to do. Without ever betraying any amorous emotions or intentions.

Piyali was standing outside an auditorium waiting for Mukundo to bring the car form the parking lot. A play had just ended and she was going to write a report on it. She heard a familiar voice calling her. “Piyali!” She turned and froze for a moment on seeing Ahwaan there.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in a steely voice.

“Visiting for some work and you… Oh!” he noticed her round belly, and then the bangles. Especially shakha-pola, something she had told him about. The white and red bangles married Bengali women wore.

“You… are… married?” he didn’t hide his surprise, even shock.

“You have a problem with that?”

“To whom?”

“None of your business. Please leave.”

“Let me guess,” suddenly his voice was bitter, “It’s your infamous Mukundo Babu, isn’t it?”

“So what if it is. Who are you to question me, anyway?”

“It’s my baby.”

“No. It’s not. Don’t ever try to make that claim.”

“Ah! He has smothered you with his love, has he?” he chuckled bitterly, “I knew he had his eyes on you since God knows when. No wondered he called me…”

“Why the hell will he call you?”

“To talk me out of you…”

“What?”

He shrugged with a sinister smile on his face.

To be continued

The First Option (Part 4)

Posted Leave a commentPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

“Mukundo Babu?” Piyali stared at him in disbelief, “Ma had died because of pregnancy?” She had never been told that. She had been told that her mother died soon after her birth because of an infection. She didn’t know that they had known several weeks before her birth that saving her could mean losing her mother. Her mother had not given up on her baby though and convinced even her father to save the baby if it came to choosing between them.

“This isn’t fair, Mukundo,” Mr. Banerjee sounded defeated and weak all of a sudden.

“I had to Kaka. What is unfair is what you want her to do. Marriage is just a social ritual. It doesn’t change who we fundamentally are, and how we feel. Marriage cannot decide whether or not she should love her baby, Kaka. Please. You have always indulged me. I am sorry that for once it went wrong. But I promise that nothing will go wrong from here on. She will be happy, Kaka. And she will have her career.”

“And you?”

“I love her and I will love the baby.”

“Do I have a choice?”

Mukundo stayed silent. That question was not supposed to be answered.

“Fine then,” his voice was tired, “Figure out the wedding date and tell me what you want me to do.” He got up and went to another room to take rest.

Piyali burst into sobs as soon as he left.

“It’s all right,” Mukundo held and consoled her, “Everything is all right. Why are you crying? We knew he wouldn’t take it well, didn’t we? But we convinced him. And don’t worry Pihu Rani. Once the baby comes, he won’t be able to avoid its charms. That’s how we are. We indulge our grand children more than our children.”

“Ma died because of me?” she asked.

“She died because she loved her baby. Just like you do. Did you take your medicines?” he changed the subject.

“No.”

“And you haven’t slept well. Why don’t you eat something, take your medicine, and take some rest?”

“Are you leaving?” she looked scared at the thought.

“You have some work for me?”

“No. No. Just… If Baba asks something, I wouldn’t know what to say. But if you have work to do…”

“I have taken the day off. Don’t worry. I will be in the guest room. Will you make sure that you eat and take your medicines?”

She nodded.

Piyali tip-toed around the house for next few days, trying not to annoy her father in anyway. He had given in to the idea of the marriage, but was not happy with the situation. He would stay on till wedding, but wanted nothing to do with it. Mukundo tried to spend as much time with them as possible to keep things comfortable for Piyali while he also arranged for a simple wedding within a week.

The servants and neighbors didn’t know what the reason was for such a hurried wedding; and such a simple one too. Some were even surprised at the alliance, but others were not. “They have both become socialists,” Mr. Banerjee explained to the more curious ones, who wondered about a simple Arya Samaj wedding for two people coming from well-to-do family. He even managed to smile. But after the guests left, he announced his departure too.

“Already Kaka?” Mukundo tried to stop him, “You should…”

“’Land papers are signed’, Mukundo. I have a job to do there. I have barely managed for last ten days. And I think you know what you have gotten into…” He paused and his detached tone changed to that of genuine gratefulness when he spoke next, “Thank you. Thank you, son. You have saved my spoiled daughter’s life…”

“Kaka. There is something I haven’t told her. Not yet, but I must tell you…”

“Baba!” Mukundo had sent Piyali back to her room after guests departed to take rest. She sprang out of the bed when she saw her father there.

“I must leave now, Piya,” he said. Piyali noticed that he no longer sounded belligerent and was relieved about that.

“Why so soon, Baba?”

“I didn’t come here expecting to spend even this much time. My work is suffering. You are in good hands anyway,” he smiled slightly, “Keep him happy, Piya. Don’t let him regret this decision. There is nothing else I have to say.”

Her eyes became moist as she nodded.

Mukundo came to the room and said, “The car is ready, Kaka. I will drop you to airport.”

“No,” he insisted, “You stay with her, here. Driver will drop me.”

“So,” Mukundo turned towards Piyali after they had seen her father off and asked with a smile, “You want to stay here, or go to… the other home?”

“What… whatever you say, Mukundo Babu,” she replied nervously.

“Since when did you start stuttering with me, Pihu Rani? Is something bothering you?” he asked softly.

She shook her head and tried to smile.

“If you are nervous,” he said, “It’s okay. There have been a lot of upheavals in your life in a short time and then this marriage… It will take time to get adjusted to things. You should just know that there is nothing to be afraid of. I am there. And now, even Kaka is not angry.”

“You are a magician, aren’t you?”

“I wish! I would have waved my magic wand then, and rid you of all your anxieties, and bring a smile back to you lips.”

“I am fine, Mukundo Babu. Don’t worry so much about me that… Have you eaten?” she suddenly remembered to ask.

“I will.”

“Oh God!”

He had come to her room before the wedding rituals were to begin.  It was scheduled for the late morning, but even that would have been too late.

“Here. Eat this,” he had also brought food for her, “You need to take your medicines…”

“But Promila Kaki has asked me to not eat until…”

“Which is why I have sneaked in here secretly like a teenager. The wedding, the rituals are a social formality Piyali,” he hadn’t noticed that she was startled when he said that, “We can’t compromise yours and baby’s health for that. Now please, eat it before anyone comes.”

But he hadn’t eaten anything himself yet.

“I will ask Promila Kaki to bring lunch…”

“Uh oh! Don’t go all being a wife on me Pihu Rani. That will be awkward. Go to your room, change into something comfortable. I will get lunch for both of us there and after that we will go to my house. Okay?”

She nodded wondering how exactly he would like her to behave with him. She couldn’t continue acting like a petulant child, could she?

That night he had given her the medicines and tucked her in bed. It was nothing like a wedding night. She could not ask him the questions that occupied her mind. If their physical relationship had to progress, now was the time. When pregnancy advanced, it will be awkward. But he wasn’t even alluding to it? What did he expect from this marriage? Would he just keep protecting her and expect nothing else? Or was it the consciousness that she was carrying another man’s child? He had said that she shouldn’t think like that. But if, as a man, he felt repulsed by that, she couldn’t blame him, could she?

To be continued

The First Option (Part 3)

Posted 1 CommentPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

“You are one confounding person, Mukundo,” Debendra Banerjee was not happy about having to fly from Mumbai after Mukundo’s call, “What’s wrong with the government? What laws have changed in this godforsaken state that we have to sign land papers again?”

Mukundo had made a silly excuse to bring Piyali’s father to Kolkata quickly. They couldn’t talk about this on phone and after visiting the gynecologist, flying back to Mumbai with Piyali was ruled out. She needed stability and rest.

Mukundo did not look as agitated as Piyali, but he was equally nervous about it. And Piyali had insisted that her father must be told the reason for this proposal.

“But it’s not the reason, Piyali. I’d have married you even otherwise, if you had let me,” he had tried to convince her.

“You would have, but I wouldn’t have inflicted this on you if I could manage. And the baby will come when it has to, Mukundo Babu. It would be obvious why we hurried for the wedding. And then… Baba might think you to be responsible. I can’t possibly have him suspect you of something…” Piyali was ruthless with herself.

So, they had taken up the job of breaking multiple pieces of news to Debendra Banerjee and they had no clue how he would react to either of them. He was never happy with Ahwaan anyway. The idea of his daughter marrying some Ahwaan Sharma didn’t make sense to him.  Mukundo had to intervene in one of his trip to Mumbai.

“He is also a Brahmin, Kaka,” Mukundo had argued.

“But what culture! He is boisterous like… like some drunken Punjabis.”

“Seriously Kaka? Such stereotypes?”

“I am not stereotyping. He is not a Punjabi. He just happens to fit that stereotype perfectly.”

“You are not being fair. I was also here for dinner last night. He is a lively, spirited boy. Just like Piyali. You just don’t want it; so you are inventing issues, when there are none.”

Mr. Banerjee had sighed. He was of a generation that struggled between sticking to its roots and becoming liberal. Piyali had the most liberal upbringing, yet the idea of a son-in-law from another community terrified him deep down.

He had given in after Mukundo repeatedly assured him.  It was just a few months ago.

And today Mukundo was again standing in front of him. With similar, yet much harder mission.

“Mukundo?”

Mr. Banerjee’s voice brought Mukundo out of his reverie. He looked at Piyali who was a bundle of nervousness. That couldn’t be good for her. They had to get it over with quickly.

“Kaka. It isn’t about the land. I am sorry, I had to lie. It is about Piyali.”

“What! What about Piyali?” he asked worriedly and looked anxiously at Mukundo and Piyali.

“Piyali and Ahwaan have broken up.”

“Huh?”

“They won’t be getting married.”

“Why? After all the drama?”

“That isn’t important Kaka. It just didn’t work out.”

Mr. Banerjee looked at his daughter, unable to fathom the reason for her nervousness. She didn’t think he would be unhappy at the news, did she?

“And she couldn’t have told that to me Mumbai? You had to make me fly in such hurry for this?”

“No. There is something else…” Mukundo added and gulped hard.

“Don’t test my patience Mukundo. What are you up to? What is this girl up to? Do I have to give my consent for someone else now?”

“Actually yes, Kaka. But before that…”

“Yes?”

Mukundo looked at Piyali. She came forward and decided to break the news herself. “I am pregnant, Baba.”

For a moment it looked like he didn’t hear her at all. Then he looked up and asked incredulously, “What? What did you say?”

Piyali bit her lips so hard that it almost bled. Both Mukundo and Piyali remained silent in dreaded anticipation of how he would react.

Mr. Banerjee buried his head in his hands and sat completely still.

“Kaka,” Mukundo finally spoke, “It is not a big deal. We know…”

He looked up with murderous eyes, “Not a big deal? My daughter… Debendra Banerjee’s daughter has lost all sense of right and wrong and you are saying it is not a big deal…”

“Kaka. I want to marry her,” Mukundo blurted before his anger grew any further.

“What?”

“You must give your blessings Kaka. I want to marry her.”

“Why?”

“Because I love her.”

“Yes!” his anger was not debilitated, “You love her. You love her way too much. Protecting her for every mistake she makes. Covering for her if she wanted to miss the school, convincing me for that bastard who did this and then ran away, and now this! Marry her so that she doesn’t have to take responsibility for what she has done.”

“That’s not true, Kaka,” Mukundo was hurt. He had never tried to cover for her. “I have supported her only when I have believed she was right. Sometimes things go wrong. And she is taking full responsibility for what has happened…”

“You think the idea had never crossed my mind?” Mr. Banerjee was speaking in calmer, but still angry tone, “The two of you getting married? It would have been my dream. Your father was my best friend and his last wish was to see you settle down. But you would never accept any proposals. And when her turn came, you came marching to me advocating the case of Ahwaan. I agreed and see what has it come to. He gets her pregnant and then runs away. How can I saddle you with this mess now, Mukundo? What will I tell your father in the afterlife? That I could not find a single suitable girl for you and then I used you to clean up my mess. No Mukundo. It was my fault. It has been a fault in my upbringing. If you want to help, just find out about a doctor who can handle an abortion safely…”

“No! No Baba. Please,” Piyali cried out, “The baby is not at fault, Baba. I can’t kill the baby.”

“You should have thought about that before doing this, Piya,” he said in a chilly voice, “Now is not the time to get emotional. You can’t destroy your entire life and career because of this.”

“Kaka,” Mukundo spoke trying to keep his voice as firm and polite as possible, “So many women in the world have babies and still have a good career. Why do you think she can’t do it? The solution is right here, with us…”

“I am not interested in discussing it anymore, Mukundo,” Mr. Banerjee tried to dismiss him.

“How can you kill her baby? You, of all the people, Kaka? Remember the doctor had begged you and Kaki to abort the pregnancy when Piyali was to be born. But Kaki would not hear of it, and despite knowing what that meant, you had given in to her wishes. You never married again, brought her up on your own… How can you be so cruel to her and her baby now?” Mukundo’s words stunned both Mr. Banerjee and Piyali.

To be continued

The First Option (Part 2)

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

“Only if you want Piyali,” he gulped hard before continuing, nervousness and anxiety getting the better of him, “you could marry me.”

“What?” It was her turn to jerk back in surprise.

“If. You. Want.” he repeated, keenly gauging her reaction.

“To what extent would you go to set things right for me, Mukundo Babu? You would destroy your life, your future? Asking you to adopt the baby was crazy enough. Now the idea of marrying me… You don’t have to do that, Mukundo Babu,” she smiled sadly.

“No. I don’t have to. The only reason I would do it is because I want to.”

“You want to marry an idiotic girl, who stands nowhere in comparison to you, who is carrying another man’s child and is stupid enough to not want to abort it while there is still time?”

“Another man’s child,” Mukundo mumbled, “If you intend to bring this baby into the world Piyali, you better not think of it as that man’s child, but yours. That is how I think of it. Else I wouldn’t care and I would give you the exact same advice, which ‘that man’ gave you.”

Her eyes filled with tears again. He had that incredible ability of putting things in the right perspective. How useful, and how soothing, it had been to her always. And today was no exception.

“You are right, as usual, Mukundo Babu,” she said, “Aren’t you going to scold me for… for creating this mess?”

“You have already beaten yourself up more than you should. Apart from being careless, you haven’t committed any crime, Shona. You are an adult.” She chuckled at that. Probably first of what could be called a laugh or a smile on her face since she had landed, even if it was only a sad excuse of either. “And if you accept what I have said,” he added, “then you should know this. I am no virgin myself.”

She turned red. It’s not like she had not discussed everything under the sun with him at some point of time or the other. When she had to convince her father and him that her illness was not just an excuse for not wanting to go to school, she would even tell him about her periods. She had talked to him about her boyfriends and about his fleeting relationships.

Still given the current situation, she felt shyness – or probably shame – washing over her at every little exchange they were having.

“No. I am not so naïve to assume that, Mukundo Babu. But this idea… You deserve better…”

“Piyali. There are a lot of things I could say. But I don’t know if I would say them right. Let me just assure you that you will not regret it if you accepted this marriage. And if you are worried for me, then no. I won’t regret it either. Take my words for it.”

She looked down as if not trusting her eyes with conveying the right emotions.

“And Piyali. It’s not like I am saying this is the only option. Whatever you decide to do, I will support you. If you want me to adopt, if you want to tell Kaka, or whatever else… I will support you. Think of me, my proposal as just another option you have.”

‘Just another option,’ she noticed the phrase. This humility in this situation. It wasn’t without reason that he was the epitome of the perfect man for her. “I know you will support me, Mukundo Babu. That’s why I have come here,” she started choking again and decided not to speak more.

“You did the right thing. Just think it through at leisure. Do you want to go to your home, now? Shall I drop you?”

“Just send the driver.”

“Why?”

“It’s… Will you come over in the evening? I am so tired right now.”

“I will. Make sure you have your lunch and…”

“And?”

“Have you seen a gynecologist yet?”

She bit her lips, “Only once. When I became suspicious….”

“We can’t be careless. I will find out who is a good one. Go now. Eat and take rest. Okay?”

She nodded. ‘We can’t be careless,’ his casual remark kept repeating itself in her mind as she was driven to her home, as she ate her lunch under the watchful eyes of Promila, the fussing housekeeper whose enthusiasm it was difficult to keep at bay, and as she drifted off to sleep in her childhood bed. He had already made it his responsibility as well!

There was only one question to be asked now.

“Don’t you have anyone in your life still, Mukundo Babu, about whom you are serious?” she asked in the evening as she nibbled on the biscuits Promila had given to them with tea. He had come while she was still sleeping and had not let Promila wake her up even though she didn’t like the idea of anyone sleeping at dusk.

“No one. And there isn’t going to be anyone, rest assured.”

“And Baba… I don’t know what he will say.”

“Even I don’t know. But I will figure that out. If I could convince him for Ahwaan… I would probably be able to convince him for myself,” he chuckled, then turned serious, “But what do you want, Piyali?”

“Who has ever had a better advice for me than you, Mukundo Babu?” she replied with downcast eyes, “I can only pray that you do not regret it.” Tears threatened her eyes again.

“Is that a yes?”

She nodded.

“Then I promise I won’t let myself regret this ever. And I will try the same for you.”

Piyali continued looking down as she nodded. Tears were flowing out again and the drops were falling on her lap. He noticed that. He got up and sat down beside her. He cupped her face and made her look up. “Not like this Piyali. Not like a loser crying. You are a brave girl; you have taken a brave decision. It isn’t something to feel guilty, or ashamed about. It is a happy day. Yeah? Please smile. Don’t cry. You know how I hate seeing you cry. You know that, don’t you?”

She nodded and leaned on him. He patted her head. He still had to talk to her father. He didn’t know how he would do it. But one problem at a time. First thing, he had to take her to the gynecologist next morning.

To be continued

The First Option (Part 1)

Posted 4 CommentsPosted in English, Mukundo-Piyali, Original

Mukundo waved the placard he was dramatically holding for her. She looked incredulous for a moment; then almost ran around the railing to reach to him quickly, pushing her baggage trolley with her. He met her mid-way and took the trolley from her.

“You came yourself?” she asked, pushing the trolley away so that it didn’t come between them.

“Well… welcoming you home after like what? Ten years? I could do that much. How was the flight?”

“Fine,” her answer was barely audible as she looked away. She was controlling her emotions with difficulty. What was it? Mukundo got worried.

“What happened, Piyali?” he asked.

Instead of replying she hugged him and started sobbing.

“Hey. Pihu Rani,” he addressed her with one of his several nicknames for her, “What happened? What’s wrong, Shona?”

“Nothing,” she broke the hug and wiped her tears, “I just got overwhelmed. Happy to be back after so long.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded rubbing her face with her hands to wipe off any tears and other signs of crying. It was hardly successful. Her nose, as usual, had swollen and red even with slightest crying. He did not point that out though.

“Let’s go,” he said and pushed the trolley ahead. She followed him.

She was unusually quiet during the ride from the airport, and that raised Mukundo’s suspicion.

“You weren’t just overwhelmed, were you?” he asked.

She looked straight ahead and didn’t reply.

“Is it about Ahwaan?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Troubles between you?”

She nodded again and bit her lips.

“Have you guys… broken up or something?”

She hesitated, but then nodded yet again.

Ah! So that was it. Although it was no happy news, it put Mukundo at ease. It was a solvable issue. Piyali being Piyali, had probably starting thinking this was the end of the world. Like she had thought on discovering that she had missed out on a 2-mark question in board exams. Always hyper, always super sensitive. That was his Piyali. He would know how to cheer her up and help her move on. It was a good thing she was back in Kolkata. In his care.

“Mukundo Babu,” she spoke after another long pause, “Can we go to your home first? I hope you don’t have any guests there?”

“Sure,” he replied immediately. That was a sound suggestion. They needed to have a chat.

“Why did you break up?” he asked straight away. The housekeeper had brought tea for them. He handed a cup to her.

“He couldn’t talk to his parents.”

“Couldn’t?”

“He said they won’t listen to him and he did not want to go against his family. My guess is the he never talked.”

“Didn’t you guys discuss it earlier?”

“We had. At least I thought so… He used to say we’ll cross the bridge when it comes. I assumed he meant that he would talk when time comes. I guess he just meant to…”

She kept the teacup on the table and started crying silently.

“Hey!” He also kept his cup away and went to sit beside her on the sofa. “I know Pihu Rani that it seems like the end of the world, but it isn’t. You will move on. You are back home, you have a job to start… In couple of months it will all go away.”

“It won’t Mukundo Babu.”

“Believe me it will. You always think like this don’t you? At even the slightest of the disappointments. But things have been all right till now. Remember your board exams…”

“I am pregnant,” she blurted.

He jerked back in shock. “What? What did you say?”

“I’m pregnant,” she wouldn’t meet her eyes and he could not figure out if there was any mischief in them.

“If it’s a joke, it’s a bad one!” he said somewhat sternly, although the feeling quickly sank into him that it wasn’t a joke.

She cried silently in reply.

“Damn it, Piyali. How could you… Does Ahwaan know?”

“He does,” she replied through her tears.

“And?”

“He wants me to abort it.”

“And you don’t?”

“I have been an idiot, Mukundo Babu, but what is the baby’s fault?”

Mukundo looked at her disconcerted. What had happened? The spirited girl he had known all these years, too intelligent and too naïve for her age, had suddenly grown up and was sitting in front of him with her head bowed, her eyes tearful, but concern and pride of motherhood in her heart. Should he lament her immaturity that it had come to this? Or should he celebrate her growing up that, however feebly, she was trying to face the music?

“Kaka doesn’t know, I guess?” he asked about her father.

She shook her head, “That’s why I came away to Kolkata.”

“I can try talking to Ahwaan…”

“You have already stuck your neck out once for him, for us, Mukundo Babu. And it’s going to be of no use. He is least interested.”

“What do you want to do, Piyali?”

“I don’t know, Mukundo Babu. I have thought about a thousand things… And yet… One of them is…”

“What?”

“Will you… adopt my baby, Mukundo Babu? You had always said that you’d adopt a baby, if you didn’t get married… I don’t know if you were serious… But if you would then… I can watch it growing before me and be assured that it will get everything it deserves… I am saying bizarre things, am I not? I have just thought to so many things I can no longer figure out what is workable and what is not. I will probably just tell Baba and beg him to let me have the child. It’s not like we don’t have money or anything…”

“So, you have seriously considered giving it up for adoption?”

“No!” she looked panic-stricken, “Not giving up. Just like that for anyone to… That was only if you… Oh God! I am sorry. I am so sorry, Mukundo Babu. All my life I have bugged you with my problems. But this wasn’t something even you would have signed up for. I think I will go home and figure out what to do after my brain is functioning again,” she got up, “Please don’t tell anything to Baba yet, Mukundo Babu. Please! He would be heart-broken; and angry. I don’t even know how he would react…”

“Calm down, Guddi,” he also got up and interrupted her. Quite unconsciously, he used another nickname for her, which only the two of them knew about. He didn’t know how it would sound under the circumstances, and whether his intention would not be completely misconstrued. But if there was a time when it should be said, and he hadn’t thought that any such time would come, it was this, “You have another option.”

“What?” she looked up hopefully. Mukundo was his friend, philosopher and guide, since her childhood. He had a solution for all her problems. Fights with her BFF, preparation for exams, running out of geometry pencils at the last moment, attention from boys in school and college, preparing for debates, adjusting to life in Mumbai, and finally even convincing her Baba about Ahwaan. If someone could bring her out of the soup today too, it would be Mukundo.

To be continued

Inevitable (Part 15)

Posted 7 CommentsPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

“Can’t you do your graduation from an open college?” Paritosh asked Rupali one evening.

She hesitated. If she told him of her constraints and problems, he might offer to help again. “I can, I guess,” she replied in a non-committed fashion.

“You never get enough time?” he prodded, leaving her with no option but to admit.

“Yes.”

“If you could leave your job at pharmacy… How much do you make there?”

“No! No Dr. Khanna. I can’t take another penny from you now. There is already…”

“Look at it in another way. I can pay for Soumitra’s and Sugata’s studies while you finish your college. Think of it as student loan. They can repay me when they start earning.”

“Please don’t embarrass me Dr. Khanna. I can’t do that. Please!”

He sighed in disappointment. But he had promised her that he wouldn’t do anything without telling her. If she was so adamant, he would have to back off. “Fine! But if you change your mind, let me know.”

“Okay.”

“Dr. Khanna.” Soumitra found Paritosh alone on the Saturday afternoon. Rupali and Meenal were taking a nap. Sugata was studying.

“Soumitra. Come in. What’s up?” A part of the room had mattresses laid out on the floor. He was sitting on one of them, resting his back against the wall and reading a book.

“Can I talk to you for couple of minutes?”

“Sure. Tell me.”

“I never apologized to you…”

“Apologized? For what?”

“What I had said about you, and Didi…”

“Oh! It’s okay, Soumitra. You were worried about your sister. You don’t need to apologize.”

“Didi thinks it was an absurd idea. I think, she meant it was offensive.”

“What was offensive? To whom?”

He chuckled nervously, “The idea that you would want to marry her… Offensive to you?”

Paritosh frowned. “Offensive? To me?” he mumbled more to himself than to Soumitra. Then he looked up at him, “Why don’t you sit down, Soumitra? Let’s talk about whatever you have in your mind.”

He sat down opposite him on the mattress and said after a pause, “I don’t know if I am doing the right thing, Dr. Khanna. By talking to you. Can you promise not to tell Didi? And not to let it affect her job… I am doing something that might potentially embarrass her.”

“Relax Soumitra. We are together on that point. I won’t do anything to increase her troubles. Now tell me, what is it that you really want to ask?”

“That day, when I was ranting about Didi giving so much time to Meenal and you… you had said that you weren’t so selfish that you would saddle her with Meenal’s responsibility for life. Was that your only objection? If you were not worried about it potentially being unfair to her, would you propose to her? Would you marry her?”

Despite having anticipated, where this was going, the direct question unnerved him for a while. Then he smiled, “Between ‘would I propose her?’ and ‘would I marry her?’ you forgot to ask the most important question. Would she say ‘yes’? And if she doesn’t, what would it mean for her, for Meenal, for me, for you and Sugata? What we have here is a comfortable, even if not ideal, arrangement. Once I say something, things must move forward, together or apart. It won’t be possible for us to return to this. Do you understand that?”

“You are only talking about her not agreeing. What about you? Wouldn’t it bother you that she is not well-educated, she is poor…”

“You think those are my objections?”

“She thinks so…”

“You have spoken to her?” Paritosh was suddenly more alert to the conversation.

“Sort of. After listing out all her shortcomings, she did not let me discuss it any further though.”

“She didn’t say anything about Meenal? Or about me?”

“No.”

“What does it mean Soumitra?” he could feel his heart-beats increasing.

“I can’t say Dr. Khanna. Why don’t you ask her? I think she loves Meenal too much to leave her just like that. If it came to the point of going forward apart, she would hate me as much as you will… I think so…”

“And how about you? And Sugata?”

He chuckled, “She isn’t going to leave us behind. For anything. So, it’s not for us to worry. It’s for you to think through. We come in a package, unfortunately. That is another shortcoming of hers that anyone associated with her has to live with. I should get going now. I have a test to study for as well.”

“Hmm…” Paritosh had withdrawn into some world of his own. He was no longer paying any attention to Soumitra. Soumitra smiled and noiselessly left the room.

“Dr. Khanna… Meenal…” Rupali was out of breath, and probably of mind, as she barged into the room later in the afternoon. She spotted Meenal with him and sighed in relief. “I woke up and didn’t find her.”

“Relax,” he smiled at her, “She was awake when I walked by her room. She was going to wake you up. I brought her away so that you could sleep for a while longer.”

She was still panting. “I will check on milk for her…”

“She had it already. Rupali, why don’t you come and sit down with us?”

There was something extremely intimate about the idea of sitting with him in his bedroom. She had noticed the mattresses on the floor earlier. Did he like sitting on the floor? She walked in slowly and sat across him.

He leaned forward a little as he spoke, “You got so worried for her?”

“I was sleepy. And it just didn’t occur to me that you were around and could have taken her.”

“What did you think?”

“I wasn’t thinking anything. I was scared to death.”

He fell silent.

“What happened?” she asked anxiously when he didn’t continue the conversation.

“You have too many worries to take care of alone, don’t you?”

“Why… are you… saying that?” she frowned slightly.

“How does it feel? Caring so much for someone?”

“What kind of a question is that?” she chuckled nervously, “And why are you asking me that? You know very well.”

“And do you know how does it feel to care for someone, but not being able to do anything for them? Because you have no right to.”

Rupali did not know where this was going. She stared at him, while clutching hard at the mattress.

“There are things I want to be different; things that are within my means. And yet – I can’t have them the way I want. Because I have no rights over you.”

“Dr. Khanna!” she could barely speak and gulped hard.

“I would like you to leave that draining, awfully timed pharmacy job; I would like you to go to college, to have you build your career the way you would have dreamt before… But you say no to my support. And I have to back off. I can’t insist; I can’t impose. I have no rights,” he grew agitated.

“Dr. Khanna. Please stop.” She was extremely nervous now. Was he offended? Did she have to make some amends again? Can’t her life remain uneventful for a while? Can’t she feel secure in her position even for a few days?

“I have gone too far to stop. I want some rights over you, Rupali. I want to be able to dictate some things. ”

“I don’t understand,” she was extremely scared. It was making no sense.

“You don’t understand? You are anyway not going to get rid of Meenal’s responsibility. I don’t want you to be just a mother-figure to her. I want you to be her mother.”

Rupali jerked in surprise.

“I want you to marry me.” There! He had managed to say it. He waited with his anxieties soaring high.

Her throat went dry. She looked away. This wasn’t happening, was it? It was impossible. She wasn’t worthy of him.

“You are not in your right mind,” she mumbled after a pause, “Do you realize what you are saying?”

“Why is it so difficult to believe?”

Instead of replying, she got up and ran away from there.

“Damn it!” Paritosh cursed under his breath. Had he screwed it all up? He turned to his daughter, “Meenu will stay here, okay? Don’t go anywhere.”

“Meenu will stay here,” she repeated. Paritosh got up and rushed out to find Rupali. He could not immediately locate her. After searching in the various rooms and the lawn, he went to the swimming pool.  She was leaning against a pole there and was crying unhindered. He looked around. Nobody was there.

Did she disagree with his proposal and was worrying about her job again? That was very likely.

“Rupali,” he approached her, “Stop crying please. What are you worried about? You don’t want it? Just say so. Nothing has changed. Nothing at all. I am the same Paritosh… Dr. Khanna you have always known. Just tell me you don’t want it and we will forget I ever said anything. I repeat, Rupali. Nothing has changed.”

She had stopped crying by then. She wiped her tears. “How can nothing change?”

He was doomed! Everything was going to fall apart. He had to pull it back together. He tried desperately, “Of course, it can. Just forget I said anything…”

“You are not letting me talk,” she complained.

“Yeah… Right…” he grew embarrassed at his abrupt attempts to set things right. “Please… talk…” he added foolishly.

“Why me?”

“Why you?” he was incredulous at her question, “Didn’t I almost give a speech a while back?”

“Because you want rights over me? To set my life right?”

“What?”

“Is this another way of helping me? Because otherwise I don’t let you?”

“What the hell, Rupali? What do you think? You aren’t the only one who works for me. I don’t go around doing this to help people…”

“You want to marry an uneducated, broke girl who survives on what you pay her?”

“Education and money can be acquired, Rupali. But strength of character and kindness of heart? They are another matter. They just have to be there. And who will value those more than me? I love you, you idiot! How do I make you believe this?”

Her eyes became moist again.

“Why are you crying again?” he was out of his wits, “You don’t believe me?”

“I believe you. You said it. I believe you.”

“I said what? Oh!” she was looking for those three words. The practical breadwinner and provider of the family had a romantic girl in her too! That was reassuring. The responsibilities and struggles of life had not killed her youthful dreams. He smiled feeling hopeful, “I can say it a thousand times, if you need to hear it.”

“No. I believe you. But will you believe me…” she choked.

“Believe you on what?”

“That I am madly in love you. And it’s not about your money.”

He held her shoulders and chuckled softly, “You have refused money too many times to let me depend on my money to win you, Rupali. I was relying on your feelings. I am glad I was right.”

A broad grin broke on her lips even as she looked down. She felt like laughing, and jumping. Impossible had happened to her. Nothing could go wrong with her life any longer. But she was too shy to react with that much exuberance. She just let herself relax as he put his arms around her and drew her in a close, tight hug. They no longer had to feel awkward about doing that!

– The End –

Inevitable (Part 14)

Posted Leave a commentPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

“What are these?” Rupali asked in surprise as Paritosh handed her a small packet with a bunch of pills.

“You said you were unwell. I just went to a chemist…”

“Dr. Khanna. I just needed paracetamol. I have already taken it. If I sleep for couple of hours I will be fine.”

“There are some for cold and cough as well, if needed…”

“I just have slight fever and body pain. I will be fine. Trust me.”

“Are you sure I should leave Meenal here? I can try taking her with me…” Rupali had called him up that morning and requested him to drop Meenal at her place, instead of Rupali going to theirs. She was not feeling well.

“She is at home here. She won’t be any trouble. I will lock the house from inside. Even if I fall asleep for a bit, she would be fine.”

“Yeah. Okay then. If there is any problem, don’t hesitate in calling.”

“I won’t. Thanks, Dr. Khanna.”

“Take care. Bye.”

When Paritosh came back in the evening, the door to the house was unlocked. He pushed it and came in. He was greeted by a strange sight. Meenal was sitting in front of Rupali’s computer, apparently typing away. The computer was old, he noticed. It was probably the one she had bought while her parents were still alive. Rupali was standing behind Meenal, with her right hand on her chin, fingers covering her lips. Her eyes were moist and it seemed like she was trying hard to suppress a sob.

“What’s going on?” he asked and came forward to stand beside Rupali. What he saw on the screen virtually blew his mind off.

“She has typed all this?” he asked wide-eyed.

Rupali only nodded; she was too overwhelmed to speak.

Paritosh went forward and kneeled on the floor beside Meenal. She looked at him and stopped typing. He took the Mouse and scrolled up. First few pages were gibberish. Probably she was randomly pressing keys on the keyboard. Then she had started typing the alphabets in order. Finally the words; and then sentences she practiced for school and exams.

It was the last couple of pages that held real surprise.

“Her name is Rupali,” read one of the paragraphs, “She smiles. She laughs. She is happy. Meenu is happy. Meenu cannot talk. Rupali. Throat itches. Rupali looks like Mamma.”

“Papa does not laugh,” she had typed next, “Meenu loves Papa. Papa cries. Papa is not happy. Meenu loves Rupali. Rupali is happy.”

Paritosh looked at his daughter. She was sitting still; her face, as usual, not showing any emotions. But the screen in front of him told him what she could never express. As Rupali had thought, she understood. “No Meenu. Papa is happy. Papa is very happy with Meenu. Do you understand?”

She managed an awkward nod.

“And Papa loves Meenu.”

She nodded again.

Then Paritosh got up and went to Rupali. She could no longer hold herself back. She started sobbing. Paritosh tried to calm her down and did not realize when, in that process, took her in his arms. She sobbed for a while with her head resting on his chest.

“Hey. Why are you crying? It’s great, isn’t it? You were right. She understands. Everything.”

They weren’t aware of Soumitra standing at the door. He did not make any sound and after a while slipped out noiselessly.

“I’m sorry,” she got a hold of herself finally and stepped back, “I was so overwhelmed.”

“Of course,” he said softly, “How did it happen, though?”

“Accidentally. She was bored of all the toys that were here. I wasn’t feeling well enough to teach her anything. So, I tried to see if something on computer can keep her busy. She liked the keyboard; I think she recognized the letters. Then I left her to play with it. She did all this by herself. I had fallen asleep for a while. I got up, when some salesman came and knocked at the door. After sending him off, I noticed this. That’s when you came in.”

“You are happy, aren’t you?”

“I am. And you?”

“Very happy. I am very happy.”

“Papa,” Meenal’s voice drew their attention. They went to her. She had typed something again.

“Papa loves Meenu. Papa is happy.”

Paritosh smiled at her. “Yes. Papa loves Meenu. Papa is very happy.”

“I ran into Meher Didi today,” Soumitra told Rupali and Sugata while they ate dinner later in the evening. Rupali had found someone who agreed to do the night shift at the pharmacy, and she had taken off from there. She would have a good night’s sleep to recover.

“Oh! And?” Rupali asked curiously.

“She told me that Dr. Khanna is all praises for you.”

“Hmm…”

“She was quite surprised about it. Apparently it is quite difficult to please Dr. Khanna. And with Meenal, it was particularly tough.”

“I was lucky that way, Soumitra. She herself took to me.”

“You also love her Didi, don’t you?”

Rupali laughed nervously, “Is that a trick question? Are you going to ask me to choose between her and you?”

“No. No,” Soumitra hastened to clarify, “Nothing like that. I… I might behave like a jerk sometimes, Didi. But I never meant to create problems for you.”

“Hey! It’s all right. What’s up with you? Is something bothering you?”

“No Didi. Not at all. I am just trying to have a conversation. It’s not an investigation or something.”

Rupali relaxed and laughed slightly, “Okay Boss. As you say. So, what were you asking?”

“I was asking about Meenal. You love the kid, don’t you?”

“Yes Soumitra,” she replied somberly, “I love her. She is an unfortunate child. She added after a pause, “Even though Ma-Baba are not with us, we know that they loved us. They would never have abandoned us knowingly. Her mother, on the other hand, never accepted her. She committed suicide because of her. It is not a pretty situation.”

“Hmm… But Dr. Khanna is different, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. He is a very nice and caring man. He loves his daughter. He would do anything for her.”

“He cares a lot even for you, Didi.”

“Well. As I said, he is a nice man.”

“It’s not just about being civil. But caring… I mean that washing machine… Club drive or not… He did it for you.”

“Yes. He is very generous too.”

“I mean… I think he is in love with you, Didi.”

“Soumitra!” Sugata interrupted before Rupali could say anything, “You are again talking rubbish. Saying things without thinking. What is wrong with you? Why are you so intent on hurting her?”

“I am doing nothing of that sort,” Soumitra replied patiently, but firmly, “Didi. I am just saying what I felt. I am not being judgmental. I don’t even mean that something should come out of it. But what do you think about it? If he asks, would you marry him?”

Rupali’s initial shock and nervousness had subsided. She could carefully choose her words, “I am not going to marry anyone, Soumitra. My only concerns in life right now are your studies, and you careers.”

“But if he asks?”

“Don’t have absurd dreams. I am his employee – a house help, caretaker for his daughter, who he has taken pity on and who he is paying more than usual. He is a professor; I am not even a college graduate. He is from a rich, prestigious family. I won’t even be able to make ends meet, if he stops paying me. Do you see how absurd your proposition is?”

“And he is too old for her,” Sugata added.

“That is not the point, Sugata,” Rupali contradicted him; though immediately realized that she should have stayed silent. It could give away her real feelings to Soumitra, who was very perceptive, “But nevertheless. Let’s not try to read too much into the generosity of a rich man. Let’s eat what we are lucky enough to have on the table today.”

Soumitra sighed and shook his head. As Rupali had worried, her contradicting Sugata’s point had not escaped his notice. If she didn’t think anything about him, whey should she bother responding to that objection? And there were other things he had noticed too. All her objections were from Paritosh’ side. She never said that she didn’t like him, or that she would say no. She loved not only Meenal, but her father too. And she was too insecure about her shortcomings to accept it before anyone else.

To be continued

Inevitable (Part 13)

Posted Leave a commentPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

Things were all right on Paritosh’ front. But Rupali still had to do something about Soumitra. He was upset and had started giving her silent treatment. She tried to get Sugata to mediate, but Soumitra would not give in. He would not even say what was bothering him. It grew worse when he announced that he wasn’t coming with them to Paritosh’ house that weekend.

“Why not?”

“I have to study.”

“You can do that there. You always do.”

“I am going to study with friends.”

That wasn’t true. He never did that, she knew it. When she woke up on Saturday to put the clothes in washing machine, an idea struck her. If washing machine was the root of all problems…

“What are you doing?” Soumitra came to the bathroom, where Rupali was sitting with heaps of clothes and washing them by hand.

“Washing clothes, Soumitra. What else?” she replied matter-of-factly.

“What happened to the washing machine?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you not using it?”

She sighed and looked at him, “Because a washing machine is not more important than my brother for me.  It is that machine that has made you upset, isn’t it? That I did not return it?”

Soumitra flushed and stood silent.

“I am sorry, Soumitra. I really am. For having scolded you.”

“Why did you keep the washing machine, then?”

“There was indeed a drive by the club…”

“He doesn’t go to a club, you had said.”

“But he is a lifetime member. He showed me the e-mails.”

“The machine was from the club?”

“No. It was his. But he was planning to give it for the drive.”

“Hmm…”

“Soumitra, it is likely that it is still a favor; that he just taking cover behind the drive. But he is acutely aware of the things that you are bothered about. For example, the amount of time I have to give to Meenal. He is trying to make up for it; and make up in a way that works for us. He pays me more, which is helpful. This was one misguided way of making up, but I just couldn’t burn my bridges with him. So, I kept it. You probably felt betrayed after how I had scolded you. I am sorry, I burst out. But I am just trying to balance things… I also don’t always know what is right or wrong. I felt that his heart was in the right place. So, I let this one go… I made him promise that he won’t do something like this in future…”

Soumitra looked thoughtful; then spoke with a smile, “Then why are you not using the machine?”

“I didn’t want to burn bridges with him. But more than that, I can’t afford to alienate you Soumitra. If you hate the machine, I don’t want to use it. What do you think has kept me going for all these years, since Ma-Baba’s death? It is the two of you. If you are not happy, there is no point to my life, my job…” her eyes became moist.

“Didi!”

“That’s how it is. Don’t you understand that?”

“Let’s put the clothes in the washing machine, shall we?”

“Soumitra…”

“I am sorry, Didi. I really am. I was angry. I shouldn’t have been.”

“Now you are not?”

He shook his head; then said again, “Let’s put the clothes in the washing machine.”

Preparing Meenal to write exams at school took considerable efforts. They had to request the school to let her attend classes for a few days following up to the exams so that she got used to school and other children. The first couple of days were particularly difficult and Rupali had to be physically present in every class drawing some curious glances from students and staff. But after that they were surprised to see the improvements. Meenal was not only able to follow teacher’s instructions; she also made a couple of friends. With the help of the therapist, Rupali repeatedly tried to acquaint her with what to expect during exams. She arranged for some older papers and conducted mock tests at home. During the exams, Meenal went to the exam hall by herself and wrote the paper following the instructions.

Paritosh walked in excitedly a few days after the exams.

“She stood fifth in her class,” he informed her, “It’s unbelievable, Rupali.”

“Really? You have her marks sheet?”

“There is no marks sheet, but I have noted them down. Here. See this. Highest in Maths and Drawing, very good in General Knowledge, and she managed to scrape through even in Hindi and English.”

“Congratulations, Dr. Khanna.”

“Congratulations to you, Rupali. This has all been your hard work.”

“In trying to give each other credit, we are forgetting our little princess here. She is the one who has done it. Meenu. See how well you did. Look at your marks,” Rupali kneeled to talk to Meenal and showed her the diary in which Paritosh had noted down the marks.

“One hundred,” Meenal looked at her score in Maths and said.

“Yes. Full marks. Meenu did very well. We are all so proud of you. Do you want to celebrate, Meenu? What do you want? Sweets? Chocolates?”

“Candy.”

Paritosh looked surprised. “She asked for it?”

“Yes Sir. I was going to tell you that. For last couple of days, she has been telling me when and what she wants to eat.”

Paritosh looked happy and emotional.

“I will get some candies for her,” Rupali made to go to kitchen, when Meenal threw another surprise at them.

“Meenu. Papa. Swimming.”

“Meenu wants to go swimming?” Paritosh asked barely able to hide the quivering in his voice. Before this she used to ask for it only with signals.

“Meenu wants to go swimming,” she repeated after him.

“Now?”

“Now.”

“Let’s go.”

“Don’t you want to change and freshen up, Sir?”

“I’m fine. Will you please bring her candy to the pool.”

“Okay!” The mention of going to the pool after him made her heart jump. Will he be in the water too?

He wasn’t! He sat by and watched as Meenal enjoyed water in the lifebuoy.

“Meenu. Candy. Meenu. Candy,” Meenal said when she saw Rupali coming. They put a candy in her mouth without taking her out of the water.

“I have some good news for you too,” Paritosh told Rupali.

“More good news, you mean?” she smiled.

“Yeah,” he laughed slightly. He was very happy, she noticed with satisfaction. “The principal was interested in speaking to you.”

“What for?”

“To see if you would be interested in taking up a job with them. As a teacher. Given Meenu’s performance, he thought you could work with other children…”

Rupali gave a resigned smile, “I don’t think he realizes that I am not even a graduate. He won’t be able to give me a job. Policies won’t allow it. And there would be too many objections.”

“But… Surely there would be a way out. You can help children…”

“You can ask him and satisfy yourself, Dr. Khanna. I have tried enough. I am very happy working with Meenal. Don’t want to try what is beyond me and get disappointed. I think she has had enough,” she pointed towards Meenal and changed the subject, “She wants to get out.”

Paritosh looked thoughtful as he helped Meenal out of the pool.

To be continued

Inevitable (Part 12)

Posted 1 CommentPosted in English, Original, Rupali-Paritosh

Paritosh  stopped in his tracks at the door. Soumitra was back and he was shouting.

“Why is she here? Why was her father here?”

“He came to drop me. I got late,” Rupali replied patiently.

“And because of whom did you get late? Them! Even after that they can’t leave you alone, even at your home now?”

“I need to cook dinner before leaving, Soumitra. Why are we wasting time? What has come upon you? You know how things are.”

“Right. A nice 24/7 job this is. Or even worse. Have you started thinking of yourself as her mother already? What next, Didi? Are you going to get married to him or what? What is going on anyway?”

Rupali was stunned. Sugata admonished Soumitra. He was uncertain doing this. What was wrong with the world? It used to be the other way round all the time. “You are out of your mind, Soumitra. Is this how you talk to Didi?”

“Soumitra,” Paritosh interrupted startling them all. He went to Meenal and took her away from Rupali before continuing further, “What she has done for my daughter, and for that matter for the two of you, is more than what most mothers would be able to do. But don’t worry. I have no intention of saddling her with the burden of an autistic child for life. What you just accused her and me of, is not going to happen.  I am not that selfish.  You can be at ease about that. And if you do plan for a future for your sister, you should do a better job of it.”

He walked out with Meenal.  She didn’t protest. Did she sense the tension, he wondered. He fed her in the car and then drove off.

Back in Rupali’s house, nobody said anything.  Rupali cooked dinner. Sugata helped her, while Soumitra pretended to be busy with his books.

The first few moments between Paritosh and Rupali were awkward the next morning.  After she had left Meenal with her exercise books, Rupali brought up the issue. “I’m sorry about Soumitra’s…”

“Don’t!” he stopped her, “Don’t do that. His concern was genuine. He…”

“He was taking out some other frustration, Dr. Khanna. He didn’t mean a word of…”

“Rupali. I am not complaining. What I am saying is that whether or not he meant it, what he said was valid. We… I mean Meenal should not be so dependent on you. It just can’t go on like this… She has to become independent.”

“Of course, she has to become independent. That is what the therapy, schooling, socialization everything is about, isn’t it?”

“I meant independent of you. The real independence, what you are talking about, is going to take years…”

“You don’t think I would be by her until she…”

“It’s too long a time, Rupali…”

“Are you asking me to leave this job?” she tried to steel her voice and not show the anxiety she felt inside.

“Wouldn’t that be good for everyone?”

Her face paled. She looked away and bit her lips. How exactly should she feel? Insulted that he should once again fire her? Insecure that a well-paying job was being taken away and all her financial planning will go haywire again? Heart-broken that she could no longer be around the people she had come to like so much, to love even – Meenal… and her father?

“You don’t agree?” he asked. She was consumed with her own worries. She didn’t realize he wasn’t as certain about it all, as she was imagining him to be. Deep down, he was looking for a discussion, a conversation, an assurance… that she would be around. He could not gather enough courage to ask that directly.

“I? I don’t know… You are her father. You’d know what works the best for her,” she managed to think of a graceful reply. But she spoke it in quite a distracted manner.

“And you? What is best for you?” he asked earnestly.

“Me?”

“Yes Rupali. You!”

She feared that tears would betray her. She closed her eyes and rubbed them, as if having a headache. She opened them and looked at him after she regained some control, “You are asking me what is best for me, Dr. Khanna. Best when? Five years down the line? Ten years down the line? I wish I had enough control over my destiny, and enough foresight, to know what is best for me over the course of my entire life. But I don’t have either. I can only talk about the present. Let’s assume that this job means nothing to me other than it being a job. Like any other, which brings some money. And it doesn’t matter to Meenal or to you who her caretaker is. You can find one, probably someone much cheaper than I am. Let’s assume all that and let’s talk about only the job part of it. What problem do you see in this job? That my brother thinks it is taking up too much of my time. And that sometimes he gets so angry that he starts accusing me… and you of things… I know that it was highly offensive for you Dr. Khanna. But you asked what is best for me. So, let us talk about me. Firstly, is it possible that three people stay together and never have any problems among them? I don’t think so. My leaving this job would not mean that I never have any fights with my brothers. Second, should I take my brother’s objection to my job seriously? Answer is, if I did that, I’d never have had a job.  Given my situation, given my lack of education, I am never going to find a job that would be good enough in his eyes. He is mature for his age, Dr. Khanna. But he is fourteen. He thinks he can run the world, but the world doesn’t run on the whims of fourteen year olds. Not unless they are the children of rich and powerful people. I remember what I was like at that age, and how I often fought with, and hurt my parents. There is only so much about him that I can take seriously. His objection to my jobs isn’t one of them. He has never liked a single a job that I have ever picked up. And finally, why only him? Even I have never liked any of the jobs I have picked up. Not before this one. What are my options if I have to leave this job? Going back to work on the shop floor of a supermarket, and not being allowed to sit down for hours at stretch? Yes – Meenal’s welfare should not be compromised because I need a job and money. But you asked what is best for me. Why don’t you tell me? What do you think is best for me?”

A stunned silence prevailed between them for a few moments as Paritosh reflected on the things she had just said. He knew that her finances were fragile. It had been a while since he had known her, but he hadn’t been able to internalize what it meant in everyday life. It meant that a costly gift could be an affront to self-respect, and not a sign of care. It meant that you couldn’t quit even a menial job to take care of the family, because the money it brought was required to take care of that very family. It meant that you made compromises between spending time with the family, and earning enough for them.

“I hope I am saying it for the last time,” he spoke slowly after a while, “I am sorry. Rupali, I mess it up every time. I won’t do that again. I am sorry I even asked. You must stay. You will, won’t you?”

“Can you trust me, Dr. Khanna that I won’t just disappear one day. It’s a job, yes! But it is the first job that I don’t want to quit. I won’t leave Meenal to her own devices so long as she needs me.”

“I trust you, Rupali. With Meenal, I trust you more than I trust myself. And with your brothers, and yourself, if I can be of any help, in anything, ever… I will be a very happy man.”

To be continued